Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

Not so fast, Henry.

Another word for annoying. Six letters.

-Peter. -Oh, don't be horrid, Henry.

And anyway, that's five letters, not six.

-Where are you off to? -Oh, just off to get some fresh air.

Oh no, you're not.

Why not? You're always going on at me to get some fresh air.

There's fresh air, and there's fresh air.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that this morning, when there are chores to be done,

is not a fresh air morning.

Oh, but that's not fair.

What's not fair?

Anyway, I've got a job.

-You've got a job? -You didn't tell us.

Well, I nearly got one.

Only I overslept and by the time I got there

someone else had got it.

So you haven't got a job.

Well, no.

So can I go and get some fresh air or not?

"N-O" spells no, Henry.

That's really not fair.

Henry, don't be horrid.

Ooh, I know.

Vexing.

-Too right. -No.

That's the answer to my clue.

Annoying, six letters.

Vexing.

Funny that.

[sighs] It's so not fair.

My mean, horrible parents

don't want me to get any fresh air

and all they ever want me to do at weekends

are chores and more chores,

while they just sit around reading the newspaper

and doing the I'm A Lady crossword.

It's so not fair,

I don't even know if I can be bothered to yell anymore.

Only joking.

Nooooooooooo!

Noooooo!

I thought you were going out.

I was till Mum decided

she didn't want me to get any fresh air.

Maybe she's figured out that you were

only trying to get out of doing your chores.

That's not true.

I was really enjoying all that fresh air.

And if you expect me to believe that, Henry,

then I'm a bigger fool than you think I am.

Erm, yes.

Yes, what, Henry?

I think the answer to what you just said is yes.

Don't think, Henry,

do.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that my bin

is next to my cello,

waiting for you to empty it.

Where are you going?

To catch up on my Number Gnomes box set.

And maybe a few episodes of

Grow Your Greens, too.

How come you never get told to get some fresh air?

It's probably because

I'm good at everything I do.

So Mum doesn't think I need any more fresh air.

Huh. He's not that good at everything.

He's pretty rubbish at air guitar.

And yo-yo.

And...

I'll think of something else.

I've always wanted to have a go. [giggles]

Here goes.

[plays some random notes]

[he begins to play a tune]

This is quite fun.

[he continues to play well]

Phew. It's hard work that.

What are you doing?

Playing a bit of cello.

Yeah, sure.

Where is it?

Where's what?

The tablet

or the CD player,

or whatever it was you were using to

play the music.

It was me.

Like I said, Henry,

if you expect me to believe that,

I'm a bigger fool than you think I am.

And like I said, Peter,

the answer's yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, I do expect you to believe it,

cos it's true.

Henry, don't!

Don't what?

Don't--

[he plays "Flight Of The Bumblebee"]

It is you.

Yep. It's me.

You just played "Flight of the Bumblebee".

[laughs] I wondered what the bees were doing there.

But you can't do that.

Yes, I can.

I can do this.

[he plays classical music]

And I can do this.

[he plays "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik"]

Stop! Stop!

Why? It's fun.

It's not.

It's not fun at all.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not meant

to be fun.

What're you talking about?

It's meant to be really hard work

and you have to practise loads.

And then, if you're lucky

and only if you're lucky,

you get to be good.

Maybe, if you're you.

But I'm me. And it looks like

I'm quite good at playing the cello.

Yes, it does.

Cheer up, Peter.

It's not like I'm going to be a world famous cello player.

A world famous "cellist".

And you might be.

Well, now you come to mention it.

[applause]

[she plays the piano intro]

[they play classical music]

That's enough, Henry!

Hang on, I'm enjoying myself.

[they continue to play]

It's just not fair.

What's not fair?

You're not allowed to play "Flight of the Bumblebee".

And you're especially not allowed to play it

brilliantly.

Or else?

Or else...

Or else I'll find something that you think you're good at

that I'll be better at.

Like what?

Like... being horrid!

Ha, you could never be more horrid than me.

Wanna bet?

[children chatter]

They're here!

[girl] He's so horrid.

He's the horridest.

[yawns] Like, you haven't seen horrid

till you've seen Peter.

Won't work. You're not horrid just because you walk with a swagger

and put on a pair of dark glasses.

Alright then.

[applause]

So Peter. Perfect no more?

[yawns]

That's right.

I mean look at you.

Even your hair is horrid.

Thank you. I mean, er...

yeah, what about it?

What else is horrid?

[clicks]

[Fang growls]

You've got a hamster?

It's a rat, called

Killer.

Alright, there's no need to have a go at Fang.

That is horrid.

Told you I could do it.

What else have you got up your sleeve?

Bunny turns out to be a serial cereal eater?

That's quite funny.

A serial cereal eater. [laughs]

I haven't finished yet, Henry.

[applause]

And I understand your air guitar video is trending on YouGroove.

Yeah, it's called "How To Be Horrid".

And it's really horrid.

[audience gasps]

Come on.

That's really not believable.

Yes it is, I've been practising,

in secret.

Really? OK then, show me.

[peew!]

[sighs] He takes everything so seriously. [peew!]

[braking sound]

Alright then, impress me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-[electric guitar plays] -It's out of tune.

[tuning guitar]

[plays guitar solo]

Not bad, I'm quite impressed.

My YouGrove fans

are quite impressed too.

Very impressed, I'd say.

What? You're on YouGroove?

Told you I'd been practising.

But that's not fair.

I'm the one that's good at air guitar.

Just like I'm the one that's

good at the cello.

Alright then.

I won't play the cello if you don't

play the air guitar. Deal?

Deal.

[slap]

Honestly, Peter,

one day I'm seriously gonna have to

teach you how to high five.

Oh, there you are.

That cello sounded lovely, Peter.

You really are doing well with your practising.

Oh, er, thank you, Mum.

Like my air guitar, Mum?

Yes, very... noisy.

[cello and electric guitar play]

How's Gordon getting on with the Extra Special

Good as Gold Superstar Stripe Scheme?

Very well indeed. In fact, he's moved on

to the third level already

and should be onto the fourth one by Friday.

-Really? -Oh, yes.

Well, that's very nice for him.

Yes, he's very happy about it.

He said Peter's doing well too?

Oh, yes.

Maybe not quite that well

but, well, yes.

Gordon's on the third level already

and should be on the fourth by Friday.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Neither have I.

I mean, I knew about the Extra Special

Good as Gold Superstar Stripe Scheme,

but I didn't know it had levels.

Don't worry. This is Peter we're talking about.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hello, Martin

Come on in.

Now, I've written out the recipe for tea tonight.

Martin, can you hear me?

Right, well, it's all written down for you.

[sighs] You might like to put the potatoes on now.

I'll be down in a minute,

I've just got to brush my hair

and tidy myself up a bit.

[sighs] I'll go and put my feet up then, shall I?

That's not funny.

Alright, sorry.

You can look for my mobile phone

if you want to be helpful.

Yes, dear.

Oh, there you are, Henry.

Martin's arrived, at last,

and we're leaving in a minute.

Where are you off to now?

It's your parents' evening,

in case you'd forgotten.

Oh, yes,

I had forgotten.

Anything you want to tell us before we go, Henry?

[big band music plays]

[children gasp]

Nope, don't think so.

Good.

Well, I've left instructions

in the kitchen for Martin to make your tea,

and now if you'll excuse me.

I was wondering if we could get a takeaway tonight.

-No. -I mean, I'll understand if you say no

but it would be a nice treat.

I said no, Henry.

Seeing as you're having a nice evening out without us.

"N-O" spells no, Henry

and that's that.

[coughs]

Nooooooooooo!

Shall we just go home again,

pretend we've been in?

We can't do that.

Maybe we can just see Miss Lovely and then go home again?

Come on,

let's get it over with.

[Dad sighs]

Evening, Henry's mum and dad.

Oh, er, good evening, Al's dad.

Hello there.

I dunno.

What are you thinking?

Oh, I was just thinking how funny it is

that parents are so like their children.

Yes, I was thinking that too.

You're not thinking...

No.

No one could possibly think we're like Henry.

Ah, they're here.

[braking sound] They're here, Miss Oddbod.

Yes, thank you, Sidmouth.

My PTA,

Parent Tracker Alarm, told me that.

Very good, Miss Oddbod.

Anything you'd like me to do?

Just keep an eye on them and make sure

there's no horrid business tonight.

Very good, Miss Oddbod. At your service.

Attention.

I'm sure the sign said this way.

Maybe we should ask someone.

No one in there.

Maybe we should go back.

Retrace our steps.

-Like Hansel and Gretel? -Oh, very funny.

No one in there either.

Unless you count the evil goldfish.

[sighs] We're gonna be late.

Even later than we already are.

It's OK, I recognise that pot plant.

Really?

That's because we walked past it five minutes ago.

We really should ask someone.

There isn't anyone to ask.

Maybe there's someone in there.

Hello?

It's locked.

Well, why did you come in here in the first place?

Well, why did you follow me?

If you were still outside, you'd be able to let me out.

But I'm not, so go figure.

[sighs] There must be another way out of here.

[music playing on headphones]

Hello, Martin.

I said, "Hello, Martin."

It's teatime.

It's a good thing Peter can cook.

I can't get a signal.

Oh, why don't these things

work when you want them to?

It's not turned on.

[sighs] Stupid thing.

Why isn't it turned on?

Not that one.

Maybe this is it.

[phone beeps] Oh.

So that's how you turn it on.

Can't see a light switch anywhere.

There's one here.

[Dad screams]

[water dripping]

Thanks.

Hmm? Oh, that's alright.

What do you mean you can't come and help get tea ready?

I mean, I can't come and help get tea ready.

Well, that's nice isn't it?

So, you're leaving me to do it?

-Yes. -All on my own?

Yes.

And you're expecting me to do it

because you're doing something else.

Yes.

Which is way more important than helping me get tea ready.

Yes.

Right, well, I suppose I'll go and get tea ready then, shall I?

Yes.

And am I right in thinking you don't want any tea, worm?

Yes. I mean, no.

And don't call me worm.

Alright then. I'm going now. To make tea.

This is me, going, to make tea.

Now!

Oh Henry, just go and make the tea, will you?

Alright, alright. No need to be so grumpy.

No tea for me tonight, I reckon.

Let's hope we can find a side entrance.

I don't want to go in the main entrance

with you looking like that.

It's not my fault.

Well, it's not mine either.

Ah,

we can go in here.

Oh, I can use the torch

on my phone.

[Dad] Oh, for goodness sake.

[Mum] Oh, sorry, forgot to charge it.

[Dad] There must be lights somewhere near the door.

[clattering]

[Mum] Ow, careful.

[Dad] I found them.

I'm going to make tea now, alright?

Honestly, babysitters nowadays.

Even Rabid Rebecca used to make tea.

[shudders] Mind you,

I was never quite sure what was in her Halloween Hotpot.

Peel the potatoes.

Cook the potatoes. Mash the potatoes.

Peel the carrots. Cook the carrots.

Mash the carrots, Peter likes them mashed.

Hmm, well, that's not happening.

Peel the beans. Cook the beans.

Don't mash the beans, Peter doesn't like his beans mashed.

What if I liked my beans mashed?

Yep, not likely.

Peel the chicken. Cook the chicken.

Mash the chicken.

[sighs] I'm going to cooking all night at this rate.

I don't know how mums do it.

No potatoes.

I ask you.

Don't worry. You look lovely.

I'm sure no one will notice.

Oh, look, Miss Oddbod's office.

We've been here before.

[Dad] Let's see if there's anyone in here who can help us.

-[sniffing] -[cat growling]

Easy, Tiddles, easy.

[Tiddles growling]

Like child, like parent, eh, Tiddles?

You'd think they'd know better.

[knocking on door]

Hello, anyone there?

[alarm rings, lasers firing]

[cat growls]

Look at me, I'm cooking.

[coughs]

Oh, we're so grateful

that you came to find us, Mr Soggington.

We were completely lost.

Yeah, it was just us and the evil goldfish.

That's my Goldilocks you're talking about.

Oh, I'm most terribly sorry.

I didn't realise, I, er, sorry.

[muttering]

[parents chattering]

Noooooo!

Mmm, that smells good.

Can't believe you laid the table too.

Martin!

Honestly, teenagers.

I blame it on their mobile phones.

[sniffs]

Mmm, this smells yummy, Henry.

Nooooooo!

Please, Henry, can I have some more?

[door opens]

[parents] Nooooo!

[Peter] Hello. Did you have a nice evening?

Oh.