Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

Did you catch Back Of Beyond last night?

Yeah. Well, yeah, if you count the start and the end.

Cos my wormy worm little brother talked all the way through it.

That's rude. Even I wouldn't do that.

Well, I told him that but, of course, he complained and then Mum said...

[both] "Don't be horrid, Henry!"

[laughter]

Well, you missed a good one.

It was all about the mysteries of the deep universe and alien life forms.

Talking of alien life forms, it's our turn on the climbing frame.

No, it's not! It's your turn tomorrow.

Nope, it's today. Between the hours of 9 to 12 and 12 to 1.

But that's all morning!

I haven't finished. And the hours of 1 to 2 and 2 to 3.

And that's all afternoon!

Will you stop interrupting? And, yeah, basically, that's it.

Yeah, that's it.

-What's it? -The rules.

Yeah, the rules.

But that's not fair. We had a deal with Miss Oddbod.

-Deal's off. -Yeah, deal's off.

Why?

-Because. -Yeah, because.

-But that's not fair! -You don't say.

Life's not fair, Henry.

Susan! I haven't said that yet.

Yeah, she's right. I mean, I'm right. Life's not fair.

"This notice shall replace all other notices."

"That may have been in operation prior to this notice."

Basically, the girls are right.

[girls giggle]

Nooooooo!

[girls giggle]

I can't help thinking we're missing something.

Yeah, but what?

Why don't you ask them?

-What?! -I mean it. Why don't you ask them?

Yeah. Maybe I'll just go up to them and ask them. Not!

-What did you do that for? -Do what?

-I dunno. -Go over there and talk to them.

Well, you wanted to know what you're missing.

-And what did they say? -I dunno.

-They said, "All in good time." -You what?

I dunno.

Yeah, that's what they said, "All in good time."

-Still think we're missing something. -Yeah.

Brian says you reckon you're missing something.

-Might do. -Alright then, watch this.

What are we doing here?

We're queuing to see the Zero Zombies.

Yeah, the Zero Zombies.

But that's my band. Shouldn't I be inside there playing?

Yeah, but you're not, cos you're out here with us.

I'm confused.

Watch and learn, Henry, watch and learn.

-Tickets, please. -So I said to her,

"If you think that's what life's about, you've got another thing coming."

Yeah, another thing coming.

Grrrr!

It's alright, Vicky. He's friendly.

-Anyway, as I was saying-- -Hold on a minute!

Excuse me! I'm talking.

Sorry, that won't work.

What seems to be the problem?

You've got three tickets, but there are more than three of you here.

Are there?

Well, there's me. That's one.

And there's you, that's one, too.

She's a half, really. Maybe even a quarter.

So that's, er, two and a half.

Yeah, whatever! You do the maths.

So?

So?

-Well... -Well, what?

Well, that was a masterful piece of obfuscation.

Obfu what?

Obfuscation.

"Making something less clear and harder to understand."

Yep, you're right. It was a masterful piece of obfuscation.

I'll try again.

Alright, alright! I already know it's going to be stew, stew, stew all the way.

Hold your horses, clever clogs!

Go on, it's your turn now.

-What's this? -It's stew.

It's stew!

Oh, yummy! Stew today!

Lots for me, please.

Oh, thank you so much.

I think I've got some room for some chips too.

Oh, thank you so, so much!

And might there be a little something left over

from the teachers' special supper last night?

Yeah, the teachers' special supper.

Oh! [laughs]

You do make me laugh, you lot.

You're not meant to know about the teachers' special supper, mind.

Oh, no, we don't know anything about the teachers' special supper.

It was a very special teachers' supper last night. There you go.

[giggling]

Thank you so much.

Thank you so, so much, Mrs Minos.

Yeah, thanks.

Close your mouth, Henry, it's not attractive.

-But... -But what, Henry?

What you observed there was the art of conversation.

Come on, Henry, even you must have learnt something from that.

Well, yes. I learnt that the teachers have special suppers

where they eat food that's not stew.

Oh!

Let's try one more time, shall we?

Pay attention this time, Henry.

Alright, alright! No need to be such a beetlebonce.

Ahem! Yes, no need to be a beetlebonce, you horrid boy.

-Please, sir. -Yes, Margaret.

Please, sir, could we be the first in the queue for games today?

Why, yes, Margaret, of course you can.

And if we finish early, could we be the first to be let out?

Yes, of course, Margaret.

Please, sir, may I be let out early too?

Well, I don't see why not.

Please, sir, I would like to be let out early too?

Of course, Soraya. It would be my pleasure.

So can we all leave early, Mr Soggington?

You may, Margaret. Now run along and enjoy your day.

Thank you, Mr Soggington.

Your turn, Henry.

-Please, sir-- -No!

Now hop it, you horrid boy!

Bad luck, Henry.

That wasn't bad luck. He only said yes cos you're all girls.

No, it's because she was being polite. We all were.

Nah, it's cos you're girls.

-Don't say it, Henry. -Don't say what, Al.

Don't say that everyone knows it's just because girls are no good at games

so they always ask to be let off anyway?

You're right, Al. Everyone knows it's because girls are no good at games,

so they always ask to be let off anyway?

You are so 20th century, Henry.

Reckon we've learnt a thing or two today, don't you?

Yep, reckon so.

-Where are you going? -To ask nicely.

-Eh? -Come on, I'll show you.

Hope you know what you're doing, Henry.

So do I!

Well, here goes.

Enter!

Yes?

Come in, come in.

Remind me. Are you here to be told off?

Erm, no, Miss Oddbod.

Are you sure? There's nothing that you've done today

that could possibly merit a telling off?

Er, no, Miss Oddbod.

Smile, Ralph.

Why are you smiling at me?

Oh, er, just to be friendly, Miss Oddbod.

I see.

We've got something to ask you, Miss Oddbod.

I see.

Well, go on then.

[school bell rings]

You horrid boys!

[they laugh]

Where were we?

The deep universe and alien life forms.

Oh, yeah! Reckon we know a few of those, eh?

Too right, Henry!

I'll get you, Henry!

[laughs]

I'm guessing she's not too happy about the new rules.

Probably not. Though they are fairer.

Yep, they are.

Aargh!

Mum, I'm home!

Sweetie, how was your day?

Ooh, it was wonderful!

Everyone made such a fuss of me.

And Miss Lovely said I was the loveliest birthday boy ever!

Oh! [chuckles]

-Oh, Henry. Good day? -Not really.

Good, good. Now, hurry up. Peter's got a lot of presents to open.

And then everyone sang...

[he sings] ♪ It's your birthday today! ♪

-To me twice. -Twice?

Or was it three times?

Cheer up, Henry. It may never happen.

It does, every day.

[laughs]

There's one from Great Aunt Greta.

And this one's from Ruby.

There's even one from Steve.

And this one's from us.

Ooh, thank you!

This is so exciting!

Yeah, isn't it?

There is a little something for you too, Henry.

Really?

Only if you're a happy birthday brother.

Yes, I'm a happy birthday brother.

A happy unbirthday brother, you mean.

-What does that even mean? -Don't be horrid, Henry.

Aren't you going to open your presents, sweetie-boo-bah?

Sweetie-boo-bah?!

It's not? It isn't?

-It can't be? -It's a telescope.

In case you didn't know that.

I knew that, Henry.

Just being helpful.

Maybe I'll discover something.

A galaxy far, far away!

The Poopy Peter planet.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

Maybe I will discover a planet.

Go on, Henry, open your unbirthday present.

"The Ultimate Guide To Little Finger Knitting"?

Noooooo!

Noooooo!

Oooh, I've always wanted to learn to little finger knit.

So have I!

Now, what could this be?

-A jumper? -Don't be horrid, Henry.

Great Aunt Greta's jumpers are lovely.

No, they're not.

They're anything but lovely.

[laughs]

That one makes you look like a girl!

They all make me look like a girl.

Oh, that will be because she thinks you are a girl.

Yeah, a girl that likes wearing crazy jumpers.

That's not a good thing.

Well, it could be worse. She could think you're a teenager.

How can that possibly be worse?

Last year, she gave you driving lessons for your birthday.

Well, let's see what she's got you this year,

-Peter the teenager. -[laughter]

It's a satnav!

But that's fantastic!

Oh, it's interactive.

However did she know we need a new one?

Possibly because we were three hours late last time we went to visit her.

[giggles] Yes, because you wouldn't stop and ask anyone

which way to Summer Pudding Grove.

Well, what kind of a name is that for a street?

There's something else in here!

Look, it's a jumper.

Oh, great. Now she thinks I'm a very tiny girl who likes wearing crazy jumpers.

[Peter giggles] This isn't for you, Henry.

It's for the satnav.

[imitates satnav] Thank you, Great Aunt Greta.

I'm so nice and cosy in my jumper now.

Unfortunately, yes, we are related.

-Come on, everyone. Get your coats. -What?

-Why? -We're going for a drive in the car.

Oooh, goody!

What a lovely idea. I'll get some sandwiches.

Anyone seen my mobile phone?

Ah! Just the day for a drive.

-After you, Fluffy. -[Fluffy miaows]

Top of the morning to you, Mrs, erm...?

-Little Old Lady. -Oh, erm, Mrs Little Old Lady.

And the dog that, you know...

-You know what? -It... You know, the dog that...

-Erm... -The dog that wees!

[chuckles]

Yes, thank you, Henry.

You OK?

Yes, I'm more than OK.

I'm feeling good this morning.

[Fluffy growls]

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Satnav, show me the way.

[satnav] Identity yourself.

Oh. Well, I'm Dad.

-And this is Mum. -Hello.

Behind me are Henry, Peter, Fluffy and Fang.

How do you like your little jumper? We thought it was rather elegant.

Satnav's have no concepts of elegance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Well, are we going anywhere?

You must say, "Satnav, get me out of here."

Oh, right then.

[all] Satnav, get me out of here.

-[engine starts] -Yeeha, here we go!

Horrid family!

Oooh! I think that was a white puffin.

Huh! I don't think so.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

[Fang growls]

Whooa!

-Anyone hungry? -Ooh, yes, please, Mum!

Ooh, look! Another white puffin.

[Fluffy munching]

Fluffy!

I was hungry.

Good job I've got some emergency supplies.

What?! I only put it there a few weeks ago.

I've been saving it for a special occasion.

Toasted cheese sandwich, Peter?

It looks a bit green.

Is it past its sell by date?

Oh, no, they just make it green so it looks more healthy.

OK.

Thank you, Henry.

Aren't you having some?

Er, no. I had a big breakfast.

[Fang munching]

[Fang satisfied] Ah!

Mmm!

It's delicious!

[Fang burps] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Oh! Oh, no!

What is it, bunny bundle?

A long and winding road.

-Oh, dear. -It's OK, I've got this covered.

Satnav, get me out of here.

Terminating, terminating. Terminated.

Look, Peter, the long and winding road has disappeared.

Phew! That was close.

[Mum hums a tune]

Ooh-ooh, yes! Let's a have a sing-song.

Oh, no, let's not.

That's a lovely idea, Peter.

♪ There's a friend in Fimble Valley ♪

♪ That we're on our way to see ♪

No! Please!

♪ Roly, Roly, Roly, Roly Mo ♪

♪ He's the roliest mole you'll ever know ♪

♪ And his name is Roly Mo ♪

What does that even mean? "The roliest mole you'll ever know"?

We don't know any moles.

♪ He's the roliest mole you'll ever know ♪

♪ And his name is Roly Mo ♪

Satnav, get me out of here!

Terminate, terminate. Terminated.

♪ Roly, Roly, Roly, Roly Mo ♪

♪ He's the roliest mole you'll ever know ♪

Hang on. I've seen that road before.

[tyres squeal]

[mobile rings]

It's Great Aunt Greta.

Hello? Hello?

Yes, Great Aunt Greta, it's me.

[squeaky voice on phone]

No, Peter's not driving.

Dad's driving.

[squeaky voice on phone]

Yes, yes, Henrietta's here too.

Oh, yes, she loved the jumper you knitted for her.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Sorry, Great Aunt Greta, I've got to go.

[lightning crashes]

Satnav, get us out of here!

[Satnav] Terminating, terminating.

[Peter] Bleugh! Bleugh! Bleugh!

[Satnav]Terminated.

Eugh! It's all over our shoes!

We're home!

We're home! Thank goodness we're home!

Horrid family!