Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

[birds twittering, alarm clock rings]

[alarm continues]

[snores]

[yawns]

[alarm stops]

Henry!

What?! I'm awake.

Don't be horrid, Henry!

I didn't do anything!

[Fang coughs]

What's the matter, old pal? Got a cold?

Yeah, yeah.

You poor thing.

[sneezes]

Yep. Definitely a cold. You'd better stay in bed, Fang.

Wish I could stay in bed, too.

-[Fang coughs] -Hey, old friend.

You're really not well. You need someone to look after you.

Wonder if Mum will let me stay at home?

-[Mum] Henry! -Hmm. That's a no.

Don't you worry, Fang. I'll find a way.

Can't leave him alone all day, can we?

[yawns]

-I just don't see why we need a new one. -Well, you see...

Henry!

Well, you see, nothing. We don't need a new one and that's that.

-But... -No buts.

[sighs] Do you have any idea where my mobile phone is?

Where did you have it last?

Oh, for goodness sake!

If I knew where I had it last then I'd know where it is, wouldn't I?

-Shhh! -What's going on?

They're having one of their arguments.

That's not an argument. That's a discussion.

Whatever it is, we're not getting a new one.

Well, that's probably because we don't need a new one.

-Don't need a new what? -Whatever it is they're discussing.

Oh! Welcome to my life.

Whoa! Forgot my Good As Gold book!

Henry!!

-Yes, Mum? -Oh, there you are.

-Looking for your mobile phone, Mum? -Oh, yes. Thank you, Henry.

Now what have I done with the car keys?

Oh, honestly, I'd forget my head if it wasn't on top of my shoulders.

-I'll see you later. -Don't forget me, Mum!

Dad, can I stay home today?

-I'm not feeling… -Yes, of course, Henry. No problem.

Yes!

Don't you have to go to work today, Dad?

Erm, no, not today, I've, er, got a late meeting.

Oh, OK, cool.

-[doorbell rings] -Time for a snack, I reckon.

-[yawns] -Fancy a snack, Fang?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

OK, thank you, I'll get the old one.

-Uh! -The old what, Dad?

-What are you doing here, Henry? -You said I could stay home. Remember?

-Did I? -Yes. Cos... [coughs]

-I'm not feeling very... -Go back up to your room then.

-[doorbell rings] -But I need a...

If you're not well, Henry, you need to be in bed.

-But I'm hungry. -[doorbell rings]

Are you going to answer that?

-Oh! Just don't tell your mother. -I won't.

Oh, er, can I help?

[muffled] Which way?

I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying.

[muffled] I said, which way?

Is that what I think it is?

Nope, sorry, still can't hear you.

I, er... In here, please.

It is what I think it is!

We're getting a new TV!

Can't believe Dad did that.

This is turning out to be the best day ever!

Need any help, Dad?

No, thank you. The delivery man said it was really easy to set up.

-Yep. They always say that. -Thank you, Henry.

-Well, call me if you need me. -I will.

He won't. He always thinks he can do it himself. Until he can't, tee-hee!

Mmm, these Gobblegasters are good, aren't they, Fang?

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

No TV noises yet.

Come on, let's go and see what's happening.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh!

-Need any help now, Dad? -No, thank you, Henry. I can do it.

-Need any help now, Dad? -Oh! How difficult can it be?

Pretty difficult if you're trying to do it in Chinese.

Oh.

This one's Japanese. And this is French. Spanish. And Polish.

Oh!

But I don't speak any of those languages. What am I going to do?

-Leave it to me, Dad. -Is there anything I can do?

-You can get the TV out of the box. -Reckon I can do that.

Oh, er, thank you.

Wow. That is one big TV.

[muffled] Ah! Help me! Help me!

It's huge!

Oops, sorry, Dad.

It's a titanic TV!

-Do you think your mother will notice? -Well...

I'm going to be in such trouble if she notices.

No, I'm sure she won't notice.

-She's gonna notice. -Yep, she's gonna notice.

But it has got 100 channels of Gross Class Zero.

I know. That's why I got it.

Cool!

-Maybe I should return it. -No! Why would you want to return it?

-Because your mother wouldn't like it? -OK.

But first, let's get it set up and then we can decide what to do with it.

Alright.

-Found what you need, Fang? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Even a hamster can do it.

Why don't you go and make yourself a nice cup of tea?

-I'm such a failure. -No, you're not.

-You're good at making cups of tea. -Yes. Yes, I am.

Are you sure you're OK doing that, Henry?

All those cables, maybe I should...

We're fine. Off you go.

Parents, eh? Who'd have 'em?!

I'll just take the box out to the recycling.

-Just don't… -[both] Tell your mother.

[they laugh]

All set?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now all we need is the remote.

Great job, Fang.

-All set, Henry? -Yes, except…

The remote's not working?

-I knew it was a mistake to buy a new TV. -Probably just needs batteries.

Batteries? Batteries?

Why don't they tell you you're going to need batteries?

I've no idea where we're going to get batteries from.

Oh, we're never going to get to watch Gross Class Zero now.

What's the point of 100 channels of Gross if you can't even turn on the TV?

Calm down, Dad. I've got some batteries.

What? You've got batteries? How come you've got batteries and I haven't?

You get the tea, I'll get the batteries.

Oh, there you are, Henry.

Miss Battle-Axe missed you at school today and she said you're in big trouble

and Mum and Dad are too because you didn't have a note and...

-What's that? -None of your business, worm.

Peter, what are you doing here?

Erm, I live here?

Yes, yes, of course you do. I meant what are you doing home so early?

We had a note. Don't you remember? Miss Lovely had to go to the dentist.

Oh. Yes, I do remember something about that.

You are a silly billy sometimes, Dad.

Yes, he is a real silly billy.

-What's going on? -[both] Nothing.

-Come on, let's get you some tea. -But I'm not…

Oh!

Is that box for me?

Erm, yes.

Yes, it's specially for you.

Oh, it could be so many things.

Maybe we could make some windows, make it into a little house?

You don't want to make a time machine then?

Oh, no. No, boxes don't make good time machines.

Then a little house it shall be. I'll just get my felt tips.

[both] We're all gross and so are you!

[humming]

[laughter]

Peter?

Hello, Mum.

Peter, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm making a little house with flowers round the doorway

and this is where we're going to put the windows,

and here's the door and the cat flap and...

Oh?

[Henry and Dad] Nooooooo!

"Magic is as magic does," said Mr Trumpington.

"And if you all watch me carefully, you'll see magic like you've never seen before."

[gasps]

So the Merry Magician picked up her wand

and waved it at Mr Trumpington, just like this.

[gasps]

And with one whisk of the wand, he was gone.

[gasps]

Vanished into thin air and in his place

was a pile of pink sparkles.

[gasps]

Now, children, did you enjoy that?

I loved it, Miss Lovely.

I loved it so much I could burst, Miss Lovely.

I loved it so much I could burst three times over, Miss Lovely.

Could I borrow your magic wand, Miss Lovely?

Oh, well, I don't see why not, Peter.

But you must look after it. It's very precious.

I got it at Fairy School and it's the only one of its kind.

Oh, I'll look after it, Miss Lovely.

Just don't go turning anyone into a pile of pink sparkles with it.

I won't, Miss Lovely!

And with one whisk of the wand, he was gone...

vanished into thin air.

-What is it, worm? -Nothing. And don't call me worm.

Then why are you standing at the door waving that thing at me?

It's not a thing. It's a magic wand.

-It's pink. -So?

And fluffy.

Yes, it is. It's pink and fluffy.

And it's my magic wand.

Well, Miss Lovely's really but she's lent it to me for the weekend and...

Let's have a closer look at it.

Now, that's what I call magic!

Noooooo!

Cool, that worked.

Big strategy meeting tonight.

Thanks for being the guinea pig, worm. [chuckles]

[lightning crashes]

-Hello, sweetie bun. -Yes.

-Going out to join the boys? -Yes.

Oh, that's nice, dear.

What's the matter, Fluffy Wuffy? Did the thunder frighten you?

I think it's going to rain.

[thunder rumbles]

Sorry I'm late. Just missed the rain!

Oh, is it fancy dress?

Eh?

I am the Merry Magician.

Are you now? Well, I like the get-up. Is that velvet?

-Have you come to magic us, Peter? -What do you think?

-I dunno. -I like a bit of magic, I do.

Oh, I don't know if I like magic.

Do I? Or don't I? Oh, dear!

These carrots are magic.

Now you see it.

Now you don't.

Not sure that's the kind of magic he's talking about, are you?

You were saying, Henry?

Er? What was I saying?

[sobs] You were going to say something horrid to Peter.

Was I? I don't think I was.

Come and sit next to me, Peter. Come on.

You can help us plan the raid on old bogey brain next door.

Have a biscuit, Peter.

Can I have go?

Oh. Yes, but be really careful, it's a very special magic wand.

It's alright, I know how to handle a magic wand.

All magic wands are special.

-My dad was a magician. -Thought you said he was a musician?

Magician, musician, all the same thing really.

-[blows raspberry] -Gotcha!

[laughing]

-Ho-ho! -[blows raspberry]

Wheeee!

Good day to you, young gentlemen. And how are we today?

-Very well thank you, Mr Soggington. -[Ralph farts]

Oh, nice one, Master Ralph.

Hey, anyone fancy a quick game before we go in?

Go on then, just a quick one.

Ah, Henry, do come in. We were wondering when you'd get here.

Now, girls and boys, where did we get to?

Please, miss, we were discussing whether girls are better than boys.

Oh, yes, so we were. And had we reached any conclusions?

We thought probably boys were better at some things and girls better at others.

Margaret. I do appreciate you wanting to join in,

but let's see what Henry has to say first, shall we?

Of course, Miss Battle-Axe.

Well...

Bert, do you have a view on this?

Well, if I had to choose I would say that... I would say that...

I would say that it really depends on which way you look at it...

I would say that it really depends on which way you look at it.

-Bravo, Bert. -Did that make any sense?

Yes, that made perfect sense. Didn't it, everyone?

[snoring]

[yawns]

That was totes amazing, Bertieboo.

I loved it and I could listen to it all over again.

See? They loved it.

-[snoring] -Erm, Miss Battle-Axe?

Oh, dearie me! Just, erm, thinking

deeply about what you said, Bert.

[laughs] Very deeply, Bert.

Thinking very deeply about it.

-[school bell rings] -Oh!

There we go. Lunchtime already!

Off you go now. Enjoy your meal and don't hurry back.

I really wanted to hear what you had to say, Henry.

Don't worry, Margaret. There's plenty of time to hear what I've got to say.

[chuckles] Yeah, Henry. Plenty of time.

No point batting your eyelids at him, Margaret. He's mine.

-Hear that, Henry? -Yeah, I did.

Come on, you two, we've got time for another quick game

if we get through lunch quickly.

-But it's Three Veg Thursday today. -Yep. Can't hurry Three Veg Thursday.

[chuckles] Too right!

Pile 'em high! You know how much I love Three Veg Thursday.

What, no stew?

[chuckles] Only joking young, Henry!

Amazing. Incredible. You are a wonder!

Alright, Henry. Stop being such a charmer and let's eat.

Having fun over there, you two?

Soraya was telling me about her favourite band.

Oh, yeah? Who's that then?

Erm. They're called T-Rex Tangerine Country. I think.

And Gurinder was sharing her recipe for coconut burfi.

Come on, guys, they were helping you with your homework, weren't they?

Well. Yes.

[laughs] That's alright. It's cool to do your homework, right?

[all] Yeah. Right.

And pardon me for speaking with my mouth full.

Oh, Henry, I'm terribly sorry to disturb your lunch,

but I wondered if I could ask for your help.

Of course, Miss Oddbod. Any time, you know that.

All in good time, Henry, there's no hurry.

You pop along when you've finished your lunch.

Probably wants you to sort through the Confiscation Cupboard again, Henry.

Yeah, probably.

I can't remember the last time you got something confiscated, Henry.

It was probably when we were in Miss Lovely's class.

Yeah, it was that book you loved.

Oh, yeah. The one about the magician. What was it called again?

"The Merry Magician".

Oh, Peter, I didn't see you there.

That's because I wasn't there until now.

You're such a joker, Peter. I'm so lucky to have you as a little brother.

I know, Henry.

Oh, er, not quite sure what happened there.

A little bit of magic, Al. Thank you.

Right, Operation Bogey Blaster Mark Two. Now if I put this here...

Oh, Peter, did you have a lovely weekend?

Oh, yes, Miss Lovely. I had a truly lovely weekend.

How lovely, Peter.

I hope you didn't turn anyone into a pile of pink sparkles.

Not exactly, Miss Lovely.