Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

[bird twitters]

That's not my alarm clock!

No batteries. Wonder what time it is?

Wonder what day it is?

[yawns]

-Morning, Fang. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Do you know what day it is? -Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[snores]

Well, I guess it's not a school day then.

Cos if it was, I'd have had the worm and Mum and maybe even Dad

yelling at me by now.

If it's the weekend it can't be very late, cos Mum usually wakes me up mega early

to do my chores or make my bed or some other thing

that my mean, horrible parents think is going to somehow make my life better.

Not!

Er, if you don't mind?

[Fang snores]

It's OK, you can look now!

Hang on. I'm supposed to be horrid.

You coming or what?

-Good morning, everyone! -[whispers] Henry.

Oh, I'm sorry, I should have said,"Good morning, worm."

Shhhh!

-Where's Mum anyway? -She's working.

Working? But isn't it the weekend?

-She's still working and... -Oh. Where's Dad then?

He's gone out to get some shopping and...

This packet's empty. Yes, I know. There's none left and...

-There's no Sweet Tweets left! -That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Noooooo!

Noooooo!

[Mum] Be quiet, Henry!

I thought you said she was working.

She is. She's doing the accounts for Mr Bossy.

I mean, Mr Mossy and she's working in the dining room.

Well, you could have told me!

I tried to. But you wouldn't listen.

-How come there's no Sweet Tweets? -Dad's gone to get some.

-You could have told me that too. -Oh, sometimes, Henry.

Sometimes what, worm?

Just sometimes, Henry. And don't call me worm!

Or else?

Or else, I'll call you a beastly bogbrush,

or a tepid tea strainer or a soppy sinkholder or a, a...

Peter!

Sorry, Mum. I forgot myself.

Well, I hope you haven't forgotten the pizza.

-What pizza? -The pizza that Dad's getting for tea,

if we can stay quiet for long enough so Mum can get her work finished.

Pizza from the Golden Gate Garden Centre?

I'm having the Single Layer Because I'm Worth It Special pizza.

Then I'm having Triple Layer All You Can Eat Without Falling Over Special.

But only if you can keep quiet, Henry.

Oh, yes. I'm really good at keeping quiet.

Look, this is me keeping quiet. Not a word, just me being quiet.

Remember, boys...

[both] Silence is golden.

[Henry's tummy rumbles]

Shhh! Henry!

[Henry's tummy rumbles]

It's not funny, Henry!

-Sorry, worm. -Don't call me worm.

Your crayons are too noisy!

Oh!

Shhh! Henry, pour quietly.

What do you mean pour quietly, worm?

What do you think I mean, bogbrush?

Now look what you made me do?

What you made you do, you mean.

-That doesn't even make sense. -Does.

-Doesn't. -Does, does, does!

-Doesn't, doesn't-- -[Mum] Silence is golden!

Yes, Peter, silence is golden.

Remember, Henry, silence is golden.

[laughter]

Shhh!

Shhh!

[both] Phew!

-[ball bouncing] -Henry!

[Henry] Uh-oh!

Do something.

-Hey, Henry! -Shhh!

[knocking]

Shhh!

I know what you're thinking. "All this for a pizza."

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[chuckles] Shh, Fang. Mum will hear you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

And then there won't be any pizza.

[quietly] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Golden Gate Garden Centre pizzas are the best.

All that cheese...

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

-And other stuff. -Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[Margaret] So who knows what she'll do now...

Then I'll just have to do something about it, won't I?

Oi, bogey brain!

Who are you calling bogey brain?

I mean, shhhh!

Oh! Hang on a minute. I've got to deal with a snot-brain.

What do you mean, "Shhh!"?

I mean, can you just go somewhere else to talk on the phone?

What are you talking about? Go somewhere else?

I am somewhere else. I'm in my own back garden

and you can't stop me talking on the phone in my own back garden.

I know I can't, but...

Well, then, if you know you can't then why should I stop?

Well, that worked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, like I'm going to stop just because a snail-brain tells me I've got to stop.

I have rights, you know. And I have more rights in my own back garden.

He has got no rights. And it's about time someone told him he's got no rights.

There you are, Mr You've Got No Right To Tell Me What To Do In My Own Back Garden.

Shhh! Yes, I know I've got no right to tell you what to do.

-In my own back garden. -Yes. In your own back garden.

-Or anywhere else for that matter. -What's going on, Henry?

-Nothing. -Something's going on, Henry.

I know you too well to know that nothing's going on.

Alright then.

Mum's working today and she needs complete quiet cos she's doing Mr Bossy...

I mean, Mr Mossy's accounts and if we can keep quiet, we'll get a pizza.

-What pizza? -A Golden Gate Garden Centre pizza.

Really. Alright then, how much is it worth?

-How much is what worth? -To keep quiet. So you get your pizza.

Oh, er...

-Half of your pizza? -Er, what? Yes, OK.

Deal. And Henry?

What?

-Silence is golden. Eh? -Oh, er, yes.

[phone ringing]

[Dad] Hello? Hello, Henry?

-Hello? -Henry? What's going on?

Er, nothing, Dad. We're just being very quiet so Mum can work.

-Good. That's what I'm calling about. -What?

Whether you've been quiet enough to deserve your pizza.

Me? Whether I've been quiet enough? Yes, yes, I have.

Hmm, how do I know that?

What do you mean, how do you know? I can't ask Mum, can I?

Then put Peter on the phone.

Really?!

-You really want to talk to Peter? -Yes, I'll hold.

-Yes, Dad, of course, Dad. -Can you believe this?

Yes, Dad. Yes, I have.

Well?

-He's on his way back. -With the pizzas?

-Yes, with the pizzas. -Yes!

Shhhh!

It certainly is quiet in here.

Two Golden Gate Garden Centre pizzas for two boys who know that...

Silence is golden!

[laughter]

And one sticky toffee pudding for the boy who managed to keep Henry quiet.

You what?!

Oooh, yummy! Thanks, Dad.

But that's not fair!

I was the one who kept everything quiet!

-The worm had nothing to do with it. -[doorbell rings]

Don't be horrid, Henry.

Mine, I believe!

Noooooooo!

Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!

Henry!

-What, worm? -Don't call me worm.

And don't eat so quickly. It's not a race.

-Yes, it is. It's a race against time. -What do you mean?

So many things to do and not enough time to do them.

What, like lie around on your bed and read your Gross Class Zero comic?

Yes.

And play Slime Seesaw with Fang?

-Yes. -And...

How do you know everything I'm planning to do today?

A-ha! That's for me to know.

It's not like you're some kind of mindreader, is it?

Maybe I am.

Right! The Marvellous Mindreader.

-Don't slurp, Henry. -There you go again.

Slurp!

Don't burp Henry.

Burp!

[laughs] Alright then, so what am I going to do next?

You're going to get up and say, "Gotta go"!

-And leave your bowl for Mum to clear up. -Ha, gotcha!

I am going to get up and say,"Gotta go!"

"Gotta go, worm!" But I'm going to put my bowl in the sink. Like this.

Oh, Peter, you got Henry to clear his bowl away for once.

Yep.

Nooooooo!

[chuckles]

Can't believe you fell for that, Henry.

Me neither. And I know one thing for sure.

-What's that? -I'm not going to let it happen again.

Cool!

What won't you let happen again, Henry?

-I dunno. -Gotta keep on being horrid.

Oh, yes, got to keep on being horrid. I think. Oh, yes.

Keep on being horrid, yeah.

Cos that's kind of my trademark.

Reckon my trademark is a carrot.

What's your trademark, Ralph?

-He's rude. Aren't you, Ralph? -Yeah, I am rude.

But I like to think I'm rude in a kind of unpredictable way.

I mean, you don't always know how I'm gonna be rude.

Er... Right. I think.

-But you're still being rude? -Well, yeah.

♪ So I'm walking down the street, no guesses who I meet ♪

♪ My old mate Henry, who's with his mum and dad ♪

♪ So I do no more, I start to snore ♪

♪ Cos that's how I am, I'm rude ♪

You mean, you could be rude one way one day and then another way the next day?

Yes, Al, that's exactly what I mean.

♪ So I'm riding in the car, we weren't going far ♪

♪ When I spy my pal Al with his mum and dad ♪

♪ Straightaway I look at my feet and I start to bleat ♪

♪ Cos that's how I am! I'm rude! ♪

[both] Er... OK.

I dunno.

[school bell rings]

I think I know what you're talking about, Ralph.

Yeah, gotta be unpredictable, Henry.

Right. So I'll still be Horrid Henry, just unpredictable.

-Putting the world to rights, Henry? -Yes, actually we are.

-Ha! -Mind how you go, young lady.

-Double ha. -Erm...

Was that Horrid Henry?

Maybe not, but it was unpredictable.

I guess.

Unpredictable - likely to change suddenly and without reason

and therefore not able to be expected before it happens.

Unpredictable. Good word that.

So, what you got lined up for the weekend, Henry?

Oh, the usual. Not getting up early, reading my Gross Class Zero comic.

Playing Slime Seesaw with Fang, not tidying up your room?

-Yeah, how d'you guess? -[laughs] I wonder.

-Too predictable? -What do you think, Henry?

Hm, maybe you're right, Ralph. Maybe I should be more unpredictable.

-Good luck with that, Henry. -I can do it. No problem.

Night-night, little dumpling. See you in the morning.

[Peter] Night, Mum!

Night, Henry. See you in the morning.

You mean the afternoon.

Oh, yes! See you in the afternoon, Henry.

That's what you think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[alarm clock rings]

Remind me why I'm getting up early?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'm being unpredictable.

Oh, yeah, I'm being unpredictable!

Come on then, let's do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[snores]

-Morning, Mum. -Morning, Henry.

-Morning, Dad. -Morning, Henry.

Actually, Mum, can I have pancakes?

They're on the side. I've made them already.

-Oh. How did you know? -Peter told us.

-Peter? -Yes.

He said you'd be up early and wouldn't want Sweet Tweets for breakfast.

-And did he say I'd want pancakes? -Yes, but...

-It's not fair. -He said you'd say that too.

Grrr!

Well, how about if I don't have any breakfast?

And I go out for some fresh air? Did he say I'd do that?

[both] Don't be horrid, Henry!

It's just not fair. I'm not that predictable. Am I?

[chuckles] Time to make your move, Mastermind Margaret.

Ooh, I love these moments, when it's all just about to kick off.

Don't you?

So am I that predictable?

Do you always know what I'm going to do?

I'm not sure I always know what I'm going to do, so I don't know how you'd know.

Or how the worm would know, for that matter.

Maybe he can read your mind.

Margaret, is that you?

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

Beetle-bonce!

Bogey brain.

-That was predictable. -Yeah, like you.

Nope. Not like me.

Oh, come on, Henry.

Every morning, you wake up late, get dressed in the same top

and have the same breakfast.

[tummy rumbles]

Not today, clever clogs. Today, I woke up early,

stayed in my pyjamas and didn't have any breakfast.

-Predictable! -Isn't.

-Is. -Isn't, isn't, isn't.

Ah! Even this argument's predictable.

Listen to us, "Is, isn't, is, is, is!"

Yeah, I guess.

So it's not too difficult for Peter to guess what you're going to do.

So you don't think he's a mindreader, then?

Who knows? We could put him to the test.

How?

I'll tell you how.

[whispers]

Whoa!

What do you want? I've got a Best Boys meeting in two minutes.

Make that one minute 30 seconds.

What do you want, Peter? What do you really, really want?

What do I want? What do I really, really want?

I want Henry to feel my power.

I want him to stop calling me worm, even if it's only for a day.

And I want him to give me his Gross Class Zero collectables,

because he never plays with them but he still won't give them to me.

Done.

Done.

Morning, Mum!

Morning, Dad!

Morning, Henry.

Nice tutu, Henry.

Pink tutu and horrid hat. Check.

Walking backwards to breakfast. Check.

Eh? How did you know I was going to do that?

Peter wrote a list last night.

What else is on his list then?

"Mum asks Henry if he'll give Peter his Gross Class Zero collectables

because he never plays with them. Henry says no."

Right, that's it. I'll show him!

There. You can have them.

Not so good at reading my mind now, are you, Peter?

Oh, no, I guess not, Henry.

Some of the more curious among you might be wondering why I bothered with all that.

Getting Henry to believe that Peter really could read his mind,

then tricking him into giving Peter his collectables.

Well, apart from the fun of tricking Henry,

always worth it, I also got hold of one of these.

Henry gave it to me in return for my advice

on how to be less predictable, shall we say.

Ha! I've always wondered how a snot-bag works.

Now I know.

[laughter]