Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ Wash your face and brush your hair ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag, it's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ So down with school! I'm gonna rule! ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life will be so sweet! ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK! ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry! ♪

[humming]

-Thanks, worm. -Oh!

Did he just call me worm?

Did you just call me worm?

Henry, what's all this noise about?

He just called me worm. The worm called me worm!

[chuckles] Really?

The worm turns, eh, Henry? [chuckles]

-The worm turns, that's quite funny. -No, it's not!

It's not funny at all.

I know you're in there!

Well, you can just stay in there then.

-Worm still turning, Henry? -Not funny.

How are the chores coming along?

I'm doing them. Just not now.

So I see. And I'm guessing the washing isn't washing itself?

-I'll get it done. -And the bins?

Oh! Yes, the bins too.

Where is it written that I have to do all these boring chores

when he gets to sit on the throne all day reading his Number Gnomes comic?

Noooooooo!

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "How is he ever going to get out of this situation?"

Because if I move away from this door then the worm can get out.

-How are the chores going, Henry? -Slowly.

-Got anything else planned for today? -What do you mean?

Well, besides doing all the chores that you're not getting done

by sitting outside the bathroom all day.

[Henry] Yeah, very funny.

He's right though.

Ralph's coming round later today

and I was going to play Snotbag Dare and Don't Care with Fang, too.

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

But I can't do all that if I'm on worm watch duty, can I?

[alarm bell rings]

Eureka! That's it!

You wait here. I'll be back in a Roly Mo.

There! Now he won't be able to come out without me knowing about it.

Gotcha!

[sighs]

Huh? What's this?

"This is the family tree of King Henry the Eighth."

A family tree - a diagram showing the relationship between people

in several generations of a family.

There's Dad and Fussy Uncle Francis.

Great Aunt Greta, then a queen.

I never knew Great Aunt Greta was a princess. Then...a king!

King Henry the Eighth.

Henry?

Henry the Eighth?

What if...

What if I was the next King Henry?

What if instead of being just an ordinary Henry, I really am a king?

Oh, who cares?

If I'm King Henry the Ninth, then I'll never have to sort odd socks again!

[laughs]

Hey, worm. Hope you can hear this.

You know how I'm always saying how come we're even related?

Well, guess what? We're not. I'm royal and you're not.

And I've got a document to prove it.

It must be a very good Number Gnomes comic.

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

You'll never guess what, Fang. Take a look at this.

Wait till Ralph hears about this!

I need a crown. I'm sure the worm's got a crown somewhere.

Just going to borrow your crown, worm!

-Found his royal cloak too. -[doorbell rings]

That'll be Ralph. My first subject,

come to pay his respects to King Henry the Ninth.

I see what you mean. That does look like proof.

What do you mean "looks like proof"? It is proof. Look, here. And here.

[Mum] Boys? Are you going to have some lunch?

We demand sandwiches from the royal kitchen.

Alright. But only if you come down and get them.

You stay here and make sure the worm doesn't escape.

-And I'll go and get the sandwiches. -Cool! Will do.

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Hey, Fang. If Henry's a king, I guess that makes you the royal hamster.

[Fang in a posh voice] Yah, yah, yah!

Thanks, Mum! I'll be sure to save some for Peter.

Oh, right. Why?

In case he's hungry. [chuckles]

Oh, OK.

[humming]

Welcome back to the independent state of Henrylandia,

Your Majesty.

Thank you, loyal subject. I bring a feast fit for a king.

-And his subjects? -[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Help yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

All rise for His Majesty, King Henry the Ninth,

the most exalted high ruler whose every word must be obeyed.

Too right. Down on your knees, worms!

Especially you, wormy worm!

So here's what happens now I'm king.

Now I'm king, I can do anything!

-Peter's in the dungeon. -Life's anything but humdrum!

Smelly nappy babies all bow down when I parade around the town!

Only I'll be allowed to laugh and I'll never get the tap end of the bath.

-And there's just one more golden rule! -No more school! Yeah!

♪ Now I'm king, yeah, now I'm king! ♪

♪ The crowds will cheer and the bells will ring ♪

♪ Now you're king, yeah, now you're king! ♪

♪ You'll be able to do ♪

♪ Anything! ♪

♪ Now I'm king ♪

♪ Yeah, now you're king ♪

♪ I'll be the greatest king there's ever been, now I'm king! ♪

[panting]

[Mum] Henry, it's time for Ralph to go!

-Later, Your Maj. -Later, loyal subject.

[Mum] Don't forget the bins, Henry!

Well, might as well do them, seeing as it's

the last time I'll ever have to do them.

Maybe I won't do the worm's for him. Tee-hee-hee!

Can you believe how much rubbish this family produces?

Yeah. My dad says there should be a tax on rubbish.

Oh, sounds like a good idea.

Now that you're a king you could do something about it.

Yeah, I could.

Mind you, if you're a king you shouldn't be having to do the bins anyway.

So why are you doing it?

Oh, you know. It's hard work running a country.

Tell me about it.

How do you know I'm a king, anyway?

-The crown you're wearing? -Oh, yes.

-And Peter told me. -Peter told you?

Seems there's quite a lot going on in that kingdom of yours

that you don't know about.

[chuckles]

[Peter] Yes, and he really, really thinks he's King Henry the Ninth!

Yes, yes!

You see there I was just reading my Number Gnomes comic on the, ahem, throne.

-As you do. Yes. -[giggling]

-The one with Number Gnome Seven... -Oh, hello, Henry!

..on the front.

Or should I say, Your Majesty?

Not the one with Number Gnome Three on the front!

That's the one from two weeks ago. Or was it three?

[Peter] As I was saying, there I was...

We're not really related to King Henry the Eighth, are we?

-Whatever makes you think that, Henry? -This.

[laughs] Oh, this old thing!

-Wherever did you find it? -In the basement.

Fussy Uncle Francis made this to trick me into believing that we had royal blood.

-Really? -Oh, yes.

Of course, I never believed him, not for one minute.

Though he thought I did and he went on about it for ages.

Really?

[Peter] And then you'll never guess what Henry said.

He said, "I'm royal and you're not."

[Peter chuckles]

Cheer up, Henry, it might never happen.

It just did. I thought I was special and it turns out I'm not.

Oh, Henry, you are special. Just not that kind of special.

And anyway, who wants to be a king? It's a lot of hard work.

Maybe. Though they don't have to do chores every weekend.

No, they don't. But, hey, that's real life for you.

I guess.

They don't get to eat Golden Gate Garden Centre pizzas

after a hard day doing chores either.

Cool!

Can I have the Triple Layer All You Can Eat Without Falling Over Special?

Don't you want the HRH Triple Layer Tip-Top Brouhaha?

[laughs] No, thank you, Dad.

I'm sticking with the simpler things in life from now on.

Yes, I know. It's really, really funny when you think of it.

Henry telling me he was King Henry the Ninth, with a straight face!

[chuckles] And then he said to me...

Silence worm!

[all] Don't be horrid, Henry!

There's nothing quite as beautiful as a line of Gizmos.

A-hem!

It's alright, Henry, I've seen them all before.

What do you want anyway, worm?

For you not to call me worm and to tell you that Brian's here.

Cool! Hey, Brian.

Watcha doing, Henry?

Nothing that concerns you, worm.

Watcha doing, Brian?

You don't need to know, worm.

I can take a hint.

Good!

[man's voice] Once upon a time,

in a far, far away place,

someone dreamed a dream.

Oh, they're watching a movie.

I bet it's a soppy movie.

Henry's not allowed to watch soppy movies on the computer.

I should tell Mum really.

Though I suppose it's Brian's computer, so maybe it doesn't count.

But then he's actually watching it, so...

What do you think?

To tell or not to tell? That is the question.

Mum!

Henry!

Hey!

Oh! Sorry, Henry's Mum.

Nooooooo!

Greetings all. Hands up who saw "To The Back of Beyond And Beyond"?

I think it was really good.

It was really good.

-Like it, Bert? -I dunno.

You got caught, didn't you?

Yep. My wormy worm little brother thought we were watching soppy movies.

"To The Back of Beyond And Beyond's" not a soppy movie.

I know that and you know that, William.

But my worm of a brother doesn't know that.

Neither does your mum by the sound of it.

You should have come round to mine, we've got stereo surround up-and-down sound

in triplicate with marshmallows and hot chocolate on tap.

It's in there!

-What's in there? -I dunno.

The 3D Nouveau Fangle Printer that's in the movie.

The one that replicates the moon monsters so they can win the marching contest?

That's the one.

And?

And I'm going to make one!

-Well, that's cool. -That's very cool.

-What's very cool? -None of your business, snot-slime.

-Not you, that's for certain. -What do you mean, "not you"?

It's not you that's very cool, that's for sure.

I didn't say I was very cool. Did I?

-Nope. Don't think you said that. -I dunno.

Why is it impossible to have a normal conversation with a boy?

Especially horrid ones.

Come on, Susan!

Do you really think you can do it, Brian?

Watch this space!

I know they're up to something.

Margaret, my treasure?

What do you want?

We thought you might like some breakfast, treasure princess.

I'll be in in a minute. Can't you see I'm busy?

Er, of course, princess pumpkin nose.

I've told you not to call me that.

I'm sorry, princess, er... Pumpkin, er...

Just call me Margaret.

Yes, Margaret.

Gotcha!

That was worth staying up all night for.

They're definitely up to something.

Who's up to something?

Oh, nothing. Er, I mean, nobody.

-Interesting. -What's interesting?

Oh, nobody. Er, I mean, nothing.

Need any help with your jigsaw, Dad?

[Henry] I can't believe you actually made one!

It wasn't that difficult in the end.

I just had to get enough moodle plugs

and persuade my dad to give me some tech wires.

Well, I'm going to be well impressed if it works.

-Looks like a Gizmo to me. -Cool!

What colour do you want it?

Not gold. If we make lots of gold ones then everyone'll have one

-and mine won't be special. -Alright then, let's go for blue.

-That is so... -Cooooool!

Ha! All that fuss over a blue Gizmo.

-Oi, what are you doing there? -Waiting for you.

Well, couldn't you have waited on your side of the fence?

I could do you for trespassing, you know.

Look.

Why do I want to look at some smelly old machine?

You're as bad as that lot. Getting excited over a Gizmo machine.

Huh! I ask you.

But that's the point. It's not just a Gizmo machine.

"The 3D Nouveau Fangle Printer

makes three-dimensional solid objects from a digital file."

-Nope, still don't get it. -You don't have to get it, beetle bonce.

It's like a photocopier that copies real things.

OK, I get that. That's cool.

It's very cool.

Where did you get this?

I found it under Henry's bed. He's been reading it at night.

Has he now? I wonder what he's going to do with all those Gizmos then?

Oh, who cares?

Think of all the things you could make with a 3D printer!

Like?

Oh, fairy cakes and pennies for the animal charity and Number Gnomes!

Ooh! I get it!

Tutus and tiaras and Bossy Boots and... Oh!

Anyway, I just thought you should know.

Well, thank you, Peter. We'll keep it to ourselves for the moment, shall we?

Ooh!

Ooh, those Boodle Poodles!

All mine!

Can't believe you made all these overnight.

Yep. And Brian reckons he can set it to print even faster.

Can I trade three Filibuster Fizzes for one Gizmo?

-Make it 5 and it's a deal. -OK.

I thought it was cash or nothing?

This is the new barter economy, Henry. We'll take what we can get.

OK, cool.

Just don't make any more blue ones.

-Why not? -Rarity value.

You what?

Can't have too many in the market otherwise the price'll go down.

-How do you know all this? -I watch Business for Boys.

Oh. Yeah. Mum won't let me watch that either.

[Henry] Night, Mum!

-I'm getting an early night. -[footsteps]

Hey, Fang, fancy a game of Slime See Saw?

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[Fang] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[laughs]

Good shot, Fang!

To cheat or not to cheat? That is the question.

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

[owl hoots]

Come on! I haven't got all day!

[laughs] I mean, all night!

[she gasps]

My very own Boodle Poodles!

Three for a girl.

There you are, Henry.

Dad's waiting for you in the car.

Cor, those green Gizmos went quickly.

Yeah. Shame you didn't have more.

I know. I don't think Brian's speeding up worked.

Roly, Roly, Roly, Roly Mo.

[humming]

He's happy.

To be happy or not to be happy?

That is the question.

-That's funny. -What's funny?

-Something's trending. -Let's hope it's Gizmos.

I've got nearly enough saved up to get the new Gross Class Zero DVD.

It's not Gizmos. It's something called a Golden Gizoodle.

A Golden Gizoodle? What's one of them when they're at home?

Eeek!

Noooooo!