Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

So if X equals Y, plus three times eight to the power of two,

then the trajectory will equal...

- (snores) - Will equal what, Linda?

5.8 to the power of minus three, Miss Battle-Axe.

- Like, uh... - That is correct. Well done, Linda.

Anyone else clever enough to know what I was talking about?

Please, miss, I got as far as the trajectory,

but then I started wondering

whether the power of two should really be the power of one, and..

Thank you, Brian. That was very clever.

Does anyone else have any idea what we're talking about?

I dunno.

Miss, I did wonder if it might be something

to do with the power of one, too.

Uh, by "too" I mean "also" rather than the number two, though.

Thank you, Andrew. That was quite clever.

(bell rings)

Class dismissed!

You three clever ones, stay behind.

(cackles)

(ticks)

(music starts)

♪ How do you do? ♪

♪ I think you've met my faithful handmaidens ♪

♪ Is that a little frown I see on your brow? ♪

♪ There's no need to be feeling down ♪

♪ Don't make assumptions ♪

♪ Don't be presumptuous ♪

♪ Don't think you know me at all ♪

♪ You may not think I've got a lot to give ♪

♪ But when it comes to life I've got a lot to live ♪

♪ I'm a sweet big sister ♪

♪ I'm not a mister ♪

♪ I'm a sweet big sister ♪

♪ Here to look after you ♪

♪ We'll start with history ♪

♪ Of which there is none ♪

♪ On to geography, nowhere to run ♪

♪ Science is easy ♪

♪ It'll make you feel queasy ♪

♪ We'll finish with maths ♪

♪ Detention in the labs ♪

Um, Miss Battle-Axe, are you feeling alright?

It's just you seem to have changed overnight.

Yeah, uh, cool! Uh, not cool.

Al, don't be such a fool!

Brian, Linda, Andrew, come with me. You lot, stay here.

- Let's go. - Go where? She told us to stay here.

We've got to find out what's going!

I've no idea what's going on.

- It's obvious, isn't it? - What's obvious?

She's been taken over by some evil mastermind

who's controlling her brain.

Yeah, right! That happens in a primary school in Ashton!

Now she's picking off all the clever ones, so she can control their brains.

- And then what? - Anything could happen.

- Yeah, right. - Let's suppose she is right, Henry.

What do we know about this evil mastermind?

They're only interested in the really clever ones.

- Yep. - That's not many of us, then.

- I've got an idea. - Go on then, Al. Shoot.

Oh, uh...

He means tell us what your idea is, Al.

Oh. Right. Well, my idea is to think of the cleverest kids we know.

Right. And then?

And then we ask them if they know anything about an evil mastermind.

Great idea. Then they'll know we're onto them.

Yeah, cool!

No. Not cool. Then they'll know we're onto them.

It could just work, you know.

And will I get the credit for figuring it out in the first place?

Huh! Go figure!

(snotbags squelch)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You called for me, Lord High Majesty!

How much do you know, worm?

Oh, uh, well, what do you mean, Henry?

How much do you know? You can tell me. I'm your big brother.

(inhales) Well, I know I've got a lot to learn from you.

- (grunts) - Yeah, yeah.

Hang on a minute. Did you say you had a lot to learn from me?

Yes, I did.

Well, I suppose you've got to learn that you're a smelly nappy baby.

Yes, Henry, I am a smelly nappy baby.

You're a quick learner.

You can leave now.

Your wish is my command, Leader of the Purple Hand Gang and Lord High Majesty!

- Where are you going? - You said I could leave.

Right. Only I need to know where you're going now.

Oh, I've got a meeting of the Best Boys' Club. Do you want to join us?

No! I mean, yes. I mean, maybe.

Ooh! Goody!

I'll go and tell the others, and we can get the paper doilies out.

We only get the paper doilies out for very special visitors.

Uh, right.

(chuckles)

It's him. Gotta tell Ralph.

They don't look like evil masterminds.

Evil masterminds never do look like evil masterminds!

Well, sometimes they do.

The evil guardian looks like an evil mastermind.

HENRY: Let's ask him, then.

We've got all the doilies out, Henry.

Peter, are you an evil mastermind?

(chuckles)

No! At least I don't think I am.

It's not him.

You still coming to the Best Boys' meeting?

Well? Did you get anywhere?

It's not Peter.

What about the rest of the Best Boys?

I don't think so.

They're too obsessed with paper doilies to be doing any evil masterminding.

(Miss Battle-Axe hums)

Please, Miss Battle-Axe!

What is it, Margaret?

Do you think I'm clever, Miss Battle-Axe?

You think you're clever, Margaret.

But I don't think you are as clever as you think you are.

That's what you think, Miss B.

I have to go and do something important,

so you lot sit tight, and I'll be, uh, back in a roly mo.

(beeps)

You sure about this evil mastermind thing?

She could have just gone to powder her nose.

Shush! I'm concentrating!

- On what? - On where Miss Battle-Axe's gone.

That was a tracking device I dropped into her pocket,

in case you didn't notice.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Oh. You surprise me, Henry.

Alright, then, clever clogs, where is she?

(beeps)

She's in Miss Oddbod's office.

Miss Oddbod's the evil mastermind?

Let's find out, shall we?

(rope twangs)

(whispers) Henry!

(gulps) Miss Oddbod.

Henry, whatever are you doing?

Oh, come on, Margaret. I know I'm scary, but I'm not that scary.

Don't do it, Miss Oddbod. My mind's not good enough for you.

Whatever are you talking about, Margaret?

She's right, Miss Oddbod. She's not clever enough for you.

- What did you say? - You heard me!

Yeah, I heard you, and you know that's not true!

Whose idea was it to use the mobile tracking device,

and whose idea was it to set up the rope alarm, and...?

(sighs) Are we trying to capture the baddies or not?

Oh. Right. We're onto you, Miss Oddbod.

- MISS BATTLE-AXE: Hello, hello. - Is this some sort of a game, Margaret?

Hang on. I'm warming to my theme here.

Or should I call you Big Big Sister?

What is it, Henry? I'm busy!

If Miss Oddbod is out here,

then who is Miss Battle-Axe talking to in there?

MISS BATTLE-AXE: Hello, hello, do you read me?

Calling Big Big Sister. Hello, hello, do you read me?

Calling Big Big Sister.

Boudicca, whatever are you doing?

Ooh, I, uh, I was...

I think I was trying to talk to someone.

Trying to talk to someone? Through the computer?

Well, yes.

Don't be so ridiculous, Boudicca.

You can't talk to people through the computer.

MISS BATTLE-AXE: Uh, no, no, of course you can't, Miss Oddbod.

MISS ODDBOD: Come on, Boudicca.

I think you need a nice lie-down and a cup of tea,

and then you'll be right as rain.

- You said I wasn't clever. - I know, but--

No buts, Henry! That's what you said, and that's that.

- HENRY: Sometimes you aren't so clever. - MARGARET: Like when?

HENRY: Like then when you said to Miss Oddbod...

- (door slams) - (computer beeps)

COMPUTER: Calling Big Sister. Calling Big Sister.

Big Sister, are you there?

- ♪ The answer, my friend ♪ - ♪ We've saved till the end ♪

♪ Because you are the meaning of life ♪

- It's you. - It's me!

- And you! - And me!

- And you! - Not me.

ACTOR: Oh, yeah.

♪ Yes, you are the meaning of life ♪

(crowd cheers)

(William sobs)

Thought it was pretty good, except for the romantical stuff.

(chuckles) Yeah, right.

♪ This is the part Where I sing from the heart ♪

♪ And it's going to get worse You're gonna get another verse ♪

(both chuckle)

Oh, I could watch that show all over again.

Ah, well, I just happen to have these for Monday night.

Oh, Sidmouth. You don't mean?

♪ I hope she cannot see How much that means to me ♪

♪ My heart begins to swell ♪

(sniffs) Hang on a minute. What's that smell?

(yells) No!

(both snore)

♪ Henry, Henry, get up! It's the morning ♪

(groans)

♪ Henry, Henry, this is your first warning ♪

Did I? Did I just hear...? Nope.

I thought I heard Mum singing, but she never sings.

Must be that miserable musical from last night.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Still got it stuck in my head.

MUM: ♪ Good morning, Peter, my little sweetie ♪

♪ It's breakfast time, so come and eatie ♪

Come and eatie?

PETER: ♪ Good morning, Mother Good morning, Father ♪

♪ Good morning, brother Who's like no other ♪

Are you winding me up?

♪ It's time to get ready for the day ahead ♪

♪ It's time to get ready, don't be a sleepyhead ♪

You are such a worm!

♪ It's true, I'm a worm of the highest order ♪

♪ I should really be living In a herbaceous border ♪

This so cannot be happening to me!

Right, that's enough of that nonsense. No more singing.

DAD: ♪ Oh, my tie, it's missing ♪

♪ It's gone astray ♪

♪ My tie goes missing every day ♪

♪ My tie... ♪

Here! Here's your tie, Dad.

You always say it's gone missing.

"Where's my tie?" Every day.

♪ My tie, my son ♪

♪ My son found my tie ♪

♪ My head is full of wonder for my son who found my tie ♪

Best you don't see this, I think.

♪ I can't wait, I can't wait ♪

♪ I don't want to be late ♪

♪ There is someone I must see ♪

♪ Who is waiting just for me ♪

♪ Someone who is special ♪

♪ Who makes my young heart soar ♪

♪ Someone so, so special ♪

♪ I can't help but adore ♪

You won't ever catch me doing that!

♪ I feel a song coming on ♪

Oh, no! This can't be true!

♪ I feel a song coming on ♪

Oh, no!

♪ What can I do? ♪

♪ It's deep down inside of me ♪

And that's where it's gonna stay!

♪ Deep down inside me ♪

Hidden away!

♪ Though each time I have a thought It makes me feel so fraught ♪

What does that mean?

♪My chest is tight, my heart is light and I just want to sing ♪

♪ It's not like I'm in showbiz It's not that I'm a song whiz ♪

♪ It's just I have this feeling That means my head is reeling ♪

♪ It's welling up inside I've got to open my mouth wide ♪

♪ And sing and sing and sing ♪

♪ I feel like such a fool Going into school ♪

♪ With a song in my heart I'd much rather fart ♪

♪ I wonder if the others are feeling the same ♪

♪ I think it's all the worm's fault he should take the blame ♪

- (can parps) - Gotcha, Henry.

You're normal! Thank heavens! You're normal! Hooray!

Ralph, I'm at sixes and sevens! I'm having a terrible day!

♪ It all started with Mum when she came in the door ♪

♪ She didn't even notice the clothes on the floor ♪

♪ She just opened her mouth and she started to sing ♪

♪ Honestly, Ralph, it was a terrible thing ♪

♪ Henry, she's your mother ♪

♪ She's not like any other ♪

♪ One day you'll understand and... ♪

♪ You're doing it, too

♪ You're just like the rest! You're crazy, you're mad ♪

♪ Perhaps this is a test ♪

♪ To see if I can do it! But do what? And why? ♪

♪ And why put me through it? ♪

♪ Come on, Henry, now we're going to be late ♪

♪ And you know how Miss B gets into state ♪

(chalk squeaks)

♪ I'm really quite clever, at least I was once ♪

♪ That was before I started teaching this horrible bunch ♪

♪ I once was a girl With a cute little curl ♪

♪ I had dreams, I had ambition ♪

♪ Now it's just a war of attrition ♪

♪ These children, these monsters, so badly behaved ♪

♪ These children should really be properly enslaved ♪

(shouts) Wait!

♪ You talking to me, you insolent boy? You talking to me? ♪

♪ Yes, I'm talking to you, the girl with the curl ♪

♪ If you were once young, then you know how it feels ♪

♪ To be locked up in here To be frozen with fear ♪

♪ To learn next to nothing ♪

♪ All that huffing and puffing ♪

♪ It's really not fair ♪

♪ We're going nowhere ♪

♪ Just look at my hair ♪

♪ We should be set free ♪

♪ Free as a bird ♪

♪ Just 'cause we're kids we should still be heard ♪

Cool. Or not cool?

Like, uh, am I still at school?

♪ You think you're so smart, you think you are it ♪

♪ That's not the case, so sit ♪

♪ You know, little boy, for all your pretension ♪

♪ There's something about you ♪

♪ But it's still time for detention ♪

♪ Henry, don't go, don't leave us behind ♪

♪ You too, Ralph, if you don't mind ♪

♪ Detention again ♪

♪ I'm sorry, Henry, what a pain ♪

♪ It's alright, Ralph, I really don't mind ♪

♪ In my office, if you would be so kind ♪

Well?

♪ We're here again today ♪

♪ Because we want to say ♪

♪ We're fed up of this life ♪

♪ Of this trouble and strife ♪

♪ I think I've got the hang of this ♪

♪ Of how it all works ♪

♪ You can sing what you want if you're happy or sad ♪

♪ You can sing what you want, even if it's bad ♪

♪ There are things you can sing ♪

♪ That you wouldn't ever say ♪

♪ You can say what you want, you can do anything ♪

♪ Not anything, Henry dear ♪

♪ Not when teachers are near ♪

♪ Oops, sorry, Miss Oddbod, I stepped out of line ♪

♪ I promise you that will be the only time ♪

♪ There are so many things I want to get off my chest ♪

♪ About school, about homework, and wearing a vest ♪

♪ It's hard to know where I should begin ♪

♪ Perhaps it's enough to say life is tough ♪

♪ Especially when you're a kid ♪

♪ Miss Oddbod, Miss Battle-Axe and even Soggy Sid ♪

♪ They've got it sorted, their life is a dream ♪

♪ But that's because they're grown-ups ♪

♪ And they can eat ice cream whenever they like ♪

♪ They can go to school Without feeling like a fool ♪

♪ They don't get told what to do ♪

♪ What to wear, to stand over there ♪

♪ You're only young once and it doesn't last long ♪

♪ You're only young once that's the theme of this song ♪

♪ So make sure you enjoy it and have the most fun ♪

♪ Make sure you enjoy it and get out in the sun ♪

♪ Make sure you enjoy it and just do your best ♪

♪ You can be sure that life ♪

♪ Will take care of the rest ♪

♪ Yes, you're only young once and it doesn't last long ♪

♪ So make sure you're listening to the words of this song ♪

♪ You're only young once so get out and have fun ♪

♪ Make the most of it, do your best ♪

♪ And life will take care of the rest ♪

Shall we, Henry?

You are joking, Ralph?

Come on, Henry! What's a musical without a bit of dancing?

He's right. There's got to be a bit of dancing.

♪ Make the most of it, do your best ♪

♪ And life will take care of the rest ♪