Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

Waiting for my baby.

Sounds like a line from a song.

My baby's in here, safe and sound.

At least your mum doesn't have mad ideas

that mean your day at school is going to be ruined.

Not that my day at school isn't ruined every day.

- Bogey brain. - Bogey brain yourself!

Not in front of my baby, if you don't mind very much.

In case you haven't guessed, it's Bring Your Baby to School Day today.

We all have to bring something into school that needs looking after.

Yeah, like, what's that gonna teach us?

- I dunno. - I've got my football.

- I've got my carrot. - And I've got...

Vomiting Vera.

(chuckles)

(hiccups)

Good luck, Henry.

(tires screech and horn honks)

(hiccups)

(yells) No!

AL: Can she speak, Henry?

HENRY: Well, yeah, but mostly she...

(hiccups then stomach gurgles)

She does that. Only sometimes it's worse.

- Cool. - No, not cool.

The best babies are plastic ones.

Like my fairy-wairy, walky-talky, burpy-slurpy, teasy-weasy doll.

(slurps, farts and cries)

I call her Cutie Pie

Yeah, call her Cutie Pie

That is what I call her, Susan. I call her Cutie Pie.

Yeah, call her Cutie Pie.

Oh, sometimes, Susan!

Yeah, sometimes, Susan.

(sighs)

Well, are you coming or what?

Yeah, or what, Margaret?

(hiccups)

(they laugh)

What? You? How?

Did you see that?

I said, did you see that?!

Alright, alright! You don't have to shout my ears off.

I'll shout your ears off if I want to, bogey brain! See that?

What are you going to do about it?

HENRY: I don't have to do anything about it.

MARGARET: You what? You don't have to do anything about it?

All done, done.

Oh. Right. Well, then.

- Are you rolling your eyebrows at me? - No!

(bag squelches)

- Susan, we're off. - Yeah, we're off.

(they laugh)

So the theme for today is my baby.

As you can see everyone has a different idea of what their baby is.

- My little cat, Tiddles, is my baby. - (meows)

- Mr Soggington... - Eh, coochy-coo.

Ahem, Mr Soggington?

Oh, uh, sorry, Miss Oddbod.

Just making faces at my baby.

(they laugh)

Hmm. So, as I was saying, our babies are all very different,

but they have one thing in common.

We love them very much.

(bagpipes honk)

Fishy in a dishy!

Yeah, well, don't get any ideas, Vera.

(chuckles) Fishy in a dishy!

Why do I get the feeling that today could be complicated?

- How's your baby, Bert? - I dunno.

Hey, how's your baby?

Wheee!

OK, I think. How's your baby?

- Uh, good, thank you. - (hiccups)

This is so cool. I get to play football all day.

Wheee! Ah!

And I get to eat carrots all day. (munches)

If you're gonna be a fairy-wairy, walky-talky,

burpy-slurpy, teasy-weasy doll,

then be fairy-wairy, walky-talky, burpy-slurpy, teasy-weasy doll.

- SUSAN: Yeah, be a-- - MARGARET: Be quiet, Susan.

You rolling your eyebrows at me, Henry?

(they laugh)

- Hear anything? - I dunno.

- Should we be hearing anything? - My baby.

She's gone!

- Not in the kitchens. - Not on the football pitch.

So where is she?

(Sid groans)

My baby! She's gone!

MAN: There, there, Mr Soggington.

(Sid sobs)

My baby! She's gone!

Your baby, Mr Soggington?

(sobs)

My baby. She's gone!

Maybe she's just, uh, taken a tea break.

She's a goldfish.

Oh, right. Maybe not a tea break then.

- VERA: Fishy... - HENRY: Shh. I'm trying to listen.

VERA: Scusey! (hiccups)

Ah! Scusey.

(hiccups and coughs)

Fishy in a dishy.

Vera, do you know something about Goldilocks going missing?

Fishy! Fishy in a dishy! (pants)

Vera, listen to me. Have you taken Goldilocks somewhere?

(giggles)

Where is she, Vera? Where's Goldilocks?

Fishy go home.

Cool!

Uh, Fishy go home? What does that mean, Henry?

No idea.

Have you taken Goldilocks somewhere, Vera?

VERA: Fishy go home.

Fishy in a dishy.

Fishy go home!

The aquarium.

You took Goldilocks back to the aquarium?

(chuckles) Yes!

Fishy in a dishy go home.

What are we gonna do now, Henry?

ALL: I dunno.

- Do you think this can work, Henry? - It's got to.

We're leaving now.

Oi, bogey brains, where do you think you're going?

This is my baby. (munches)

Expect me to fall for that one?

I know you've got more carrots in your bag.

Fancy a keepie-uppie competition, Margaret?

- I'm not falling for that one either. - (tires screech)

- Cool! - No, not cool.

Uh, can I have my ball back?

(tires screech)

- Back in a roly mo. - I'll keep the engine running.

We're looking for a fish.

You've come to the right place, young man.

(pants) Fishy in a dishy.

Hello again, young lady. Back so soon?

Fishy in a dishy go home.

That's right. Fishy in a dishy's home now.

She, uh, she wants to say hello to the fishy in the dishy.

Right this way.

(Vera pants)

Fishy in a big dishy!

Fishy in a very big dishy.

But we need to take our fishy home with us now.

That won't be possible, young man.

- But... - I've got an idea Henry.

(whispers)

This had better work.

Oh, eh, coochy-coo.

(chuckles)

- Just one question, Ralph. - What's that, Henry?

- What's in your matchbox? - You mean, what was in my matchbox?

I thought you said you had your baby in there.

I did. Well, one of them.

A sparkle spider.

- Where's the sparkle spider now? - Swapped it for Goldilocks.

Turned out the aquarium keeper collected sparkle spiders.

But it was your baby, Ralph.

Oh, I got loads of them. Too many if you ask me.

My mum's always on at me to get rid of some.

Only brought it into school 'cause I thought it might come in useful.

And it did! Just goes to show...

BOTH: You never know!

(tires screech)

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

(groans)

PETER: ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- Doorbell's ringing. - ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

(doorbell rings)

Doorbell's still ringing!

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ - (groans)

Don't tell me there's going to be singing.

Yes, there will be singing.

(groans) Does there have to be singing?

It's my party, and I'll sing if I want to.

- Great. - (doorbell rings)

Oh, by the way, the doorbell's still ringing.

I know. My public can wait.

Your public? What's that supposed to mean when it's at home?

My public.

My audience.

My raison d'être!

Where does he get this stuff?

Come on, Henry. I know you want to ask me what it means.

No, I don't. I couldn't care less about your raison whatever it is.

Do you know what it means?

I'm ready for my close-up now,

Mr I'm So Horrid I Don't Know What Raison d'Être Means.

(sighs)

Alright, then. What does it mean?

No idea. And even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you.

(yells) No!

Can you believe the worm?

Anyone would think I wasn't his older and better brother.

(doorbell rings)

- MUM: Henry! - Here goes.

Well, come on, then. I'm not doing this on my own.

FANG: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Ah, Henrietta. - Hello, Great Aunt Greta.

Happy unbirthday, Henrietta.

Oh. Thank you, Great Aunt Greta.

They're toffee Tongue Twisters.

Toffee Tongue Twisters?

Cool! My favorite! Thanks, Great Aunt Greta.

You're welcome, Henrietta.

It's not easy being the little sister of a teenager.

Too right it's not.

Mwah, mwah.

OK, yah. Where's the darling birthday boy, then?

He's, uh, he's waiting for you in the living room, Ruby.

I say, OK, yah, Henry?

Yep. I say, OK, yah, too, Steve.

I say, my fave, OK, yah, Henry?

Yeah, well, my fave, too. OK, yah?

OK, yah, Henry. I say, going to give a chap one, Henry?

No way. Get your own Tongue Twisters. These are mine.

(blows a raspberry)

Stuck-Up Steve.

Oh, uh, just put them over there.

Oh, uh, you can go now. Thank you.

Come on, Henry. Time for some party fun.

Fancy a bit of pre-party snacking before the party fun?

- (meows) - (sighs) Fluffy!

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - (doorbell rings)

(doorbell rings)

Oh, Henry, answer the door, will you?

(sighs)

- Hello, Henry. - Hello, Miss Lovely.

Lovely day, isn't it, Henry?

Yes, lovely, Miss Lovely.

I came to wish lovely Peter a lovely birthday.

- Oh. Right. Lovely present. - Lovely Peter.

Yeah. Right. Lovely Peter.

Lovely if I could come in, Henry.

- Oh, uh, yes. Come in, Miss Lovely. - Lovely Henry.

- They're all in there. - Oh. Lovely.

This is good. This is very good.

Now, shall I start with a super-size sausage,

or a Happy Hippo hamburger?

One of each?

Excellent idea.

- Henry. - Whoop-a-doo.

Are you ready to be a tip-top tiddlywinker, Henry?

Nope.

- (purrs) - Oh, hello, Fluffy Wuffy.

(purrs and meows)

Come on, Henry, you've got to come and be a tip-top tiddlywinker.

- Otherwise my party won't be perfect. - (gasps)

Um, how about you start without me?

We couldn't do that, Henry.

- I'll be along in a roly mo. - (Fluffy burps)

You're not thinking about eating a Happy Hippo hamburger, are you Henry?

No!

(chomps)

Why would I do that?

Because you're horrid, Henry.

Come on, boys. Everyone's waiting. Henry, you're not...

No! Uh, I mean, no, I'm not.

Show me your hands, Henry.

Hmm. Come on, then. Everyone's waiting.

After you, Henry.

Thanks, birthday worm.

Henry?

(chomps)

(purrs)

- Say it, Henry. - No way.

Come on, Henry, otherwise it won't be a perfect party.

(sighs) Oh, alright, then.

I'm a tip-top tiddlywinker.

Come on, Henry. You can do better than that.

I'm a tip-top tiddlywinker.

I can't hear you, Henry!

(shouts) I'm a tip-top tiddlywinker!

(laughing)

Wa-hey! I'm a tip-top tiddlywinker!

(shouts) I'm a tip-top tiddlywinker!

Ah! Now there's just time to hear me sing before tea.

Lovely, Peter.

- Lovely, Peter. - Don't be horrid, Henry!

This song's for you, Miss Lovely.

Oh, lovely Peter.

♪ Buttercups and daisies are flowers I like ♪

Time for a toffee Tongue Twister I reckon.

Fluffy!

(burps)

(box makes no sound)

My Tongue Twisters! You ate them, too.

(burps)

(sighs) I can't believe you ate all my Tongue Twisters, Fluffy.

(burps)

Or did you?

"Peter Perfect picked a pack of perfect peppers."

(snores)

(munching)

Steve? Are you in there?

(chewing) OK, yah. Be right out.

Are you eating my Tongue Twisters?

(mouth full) No.

"Stuck-Up Steve silently stuffs stolen sweets!"

Try saying that with your mouth full.

OK, yah. What's going on here?

Stuck-Up Steve stole my Tongue Twisters.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

I very much doubt it, OK, yah, you horrid boy!

STEVE: OK, OK, yah.

OK, yah, time for us to go.

Oh, uh, bye, Ruby. Bye, Steve.

I'm sorry about your Tongue Twisters, Henry.

Oh, lovely Tongue Twisters.

Yes, lovely Tongue Twisters.

Have these, Henry. I know lovely Peter won't mind.

He's so lovely, aren't you, Peter?

Will you be a tip-top tiddlywinker with me, Miss Lovely?

Of course I will, Peter.

Henry!

Uh-oh.

(slurps) Mmm, mmm.

Lovely Tongue Twisters!

(chuckles)