Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

(snores and meows)

(chuckles) You are funny, Fluffy.

- I'm going to call you Funny Fluffy. - Ha! Fat Fluffy more like.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

Well, she is getting fat. Look at her.

- She's a real fat cat. - (blows a raspberry)

All she does is sleep on the sofa all day.

Lucky cat. Or lazy cat.

She's not lazy. For all you know she could be fighting off giant...

Giant Happy Hippos?

Yes. Giant Happy Hippos.

Should be called Huge Hippos, really.

Well, can't hang around all day chatting about Huge Hippos.

I've got to see a boy about a snotbag.

See ya later, Perfect Petergator! And Fat Fluffy.

(growls) No!

- (Henry laughs) - (squelching)

(laughs)

Think we'll ever get fed up of squeezing snotbags?

Duh. No. Because we're rude.

And horrid.

- You hungry? - Could be.

Empty. I'll go and get reinforcements.

And I'll squeeze my snotbag some more.

Morning, duck brain.

Bogey brain. It's bogey brain. Or beetle brain.

Duck brain doesn't work.

You what?

You have to use the same letters.

Bogey brain. B-B.

Slug snot. S-S. Surprised you didn't know that.

Just testing.

Anyway, who says I have to?

No one.

- You telling me I have to? - No.

That's the problem with you, Henry. You're so bossy.

Bossy? I'm bossy? You're the bossy one around here!

MARGARET: Who you calling bossy?

Nice one, Henry, but she's moody isn't she?

Oh, yes. Sorry, I forgot. You're moody. Moody Margaret.

Thanks for that, Rude Ralph.

Or maybe I should call you Ridiculous Ralph?

Huh!

(chuckles)

(squelching)

Mission accomplished!

Refreshments, Ralph? Or should I call you Ridiculous Ralph?

That's not my name, Henry.

I know it's not. But it is quite a funny name.

You might think so. I don't. My name's Rude Ralph, and that's that.

Alright, alright. Keep your hair on. I know that.

I was born to be rude.

Yeah, yeah, I know that, too.

Think about it, Henry. What if you were called Hilarious Henry?

Wouldn't be too bad.

I have been known to be quite funny sometimes.

Yeah, but it's not the same as being horrid, is it?

No, I guess not.

Now, are we gonna get on with squeezing these snotbags or not?

(chuckles) Yeah. 'Cause we're rude!

(chuckles) And horrid!

(squelching)

(parping from can)

Henry, I've been thinking.

Hope it didn't hurt too much.

No, I've been really thinking.

- What if our names were different? - You what?

What if our names were different? Would that make us different people?

Bit deep for this time of the morning, Ralph.

Yeah, but it's a thought, isn't it?

HENRY: Hmm. Sunny Sid.

Ah, Henry. You horrid boy.

(chuckles) I don't think so.

- (pants) - You feeling alright?

Yeah. Never better. Why do you ask?

Well, you're being very...

- Aerobic? - Well, yes, since you ask.

Well, I am asking, since you're asking, Henry.

- Wanna make something of it? - Um, no, not really.

Good. 'Cause if you did wanna make something of it...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

And when I say who knows who invented the stally wiggler,

I expect an answer.

- Brian? - I dunno.

MISS BATTLE-AXE: Thank you, Brian.

Bert?

I dunno Miss B, but I reckon if you was to ask me...

I have asked you, Bert.

Well, then, I dunno, but I reckon the answer would be,

Frankie "I Know Everything There Is To Know About Fishing" Know-it-all.

Well, Bert, if we were talking about the first model of the stally wiggler,

I'd say you were correct. But we're not.

I dunno, Miss B.

If you were talking about the second, third and fourth,

the answer would be the same.

Well, we're not. We're talking about the fifth.

Well, I dunno, Miss B,

but I reckon you'll find that the fifth model hasn't been invented yet.

- (bell rings) - Class dismissed.

Way to go, Bert. You were magnificent.

- Well, I dunno Henry. - Nice try, Brian.

I dunno. I dunno.

Come on! This is getting interesting!

(indistinct chatter)

Over here!

Mind out, Henry. I nearly lost my chips.

You weren't looking where you were going.

Yes, I was. I always look where I'm going.

(sighs) She's gorgeous.

- Which one? - Soraya of course.

Oh, yes, of course. And Gurinder?

Huh! She's always singing. Can't stand a girl that's always singing.

HENRY: Oh, Lazy Susan and Sour Linda.

(chuckles)

Please, sir. I want some more.

(all gasp)

What. Did. You. Say?

Please, sir. I want some more.

And who are you calling sir?

(all gasp)

Now, now Greta, the poor little mite only wants some more.

There you go, Andrew. No sense in you going hungry, is there?

Thank you.

You're welcome, pet.

- What's that? - Stew.

- Oh. And what's that? - Stew.

And that?

Stew. It's all stew. You want some?

Well, you see, I don't rightly know.

I'm a bit worried that it might upset my tummy,

which is a bit delicate sometimes.

You want some?

Erm, what's in it?

Stew!

(indistinct chatter)

Phew! That was interesting!

So, we've got Brainy Bert and Beefy Brian.

Singing Gurinder and Gorgeous Soraya.

Greedy Andrew and Anxious Graham.

Hang on. Where's Aerobic Ralph?

Doing laps round the football pitch.

Mind out the way can't you, Henry?

Yes, Rude Al.

That's me!

More stew. Now.

So if everyone else is someone else, who am I?

Out of my way, worms.

No. Oh, no.

(yells) No!

And what do you think you're doing, Henry?

You can't run in the corridor.

(sobs)

Now then, lad. There's no need for that sort of behavior.

I only told you you can't run in the corridor.

(sobs)

Mr Soggington, whatever is going on?

Well, I... Look, he...

There, there. Better now?

(sobs)

What is it, Henry? What's upset you so much?

(gulps and gasps)

I'm not... I'm not upset, Miss Oddbod.

You're not? Well, you seem quite upset to me.

No! I'm really, really happy.

(sobs)

Look, Fluffy. That's Sunbeam and this is Buttercup.

- Peter. - Henry.

- Perfect Peter. - Uh, yes.

Fat Fluffy.

Uh, no.

I've thought of a new name for Fluffy, haven't I, Fluffy?

From now on, I'm going to call her Fluffy Fluffy Wuffy!

(meows)

- Well, that's original(!) - Don't be horrid, Henry.

Yes! You can call me Henry.

Horrid Henry! (chuckles)

(classical music on radio)

Henry?

(yells) No!

HENRY: I always leave my skateboard there at night.

So I know where it is in the morning.

You can just unleave it there from now on.

Unleave it? Is that even a word?

Don't be horrid, Henry. You know exactly what I mean.

No, I don't. Do you know what she means?

I know what I mean, and that's the important thing.

- I guess. - Come on. You're going to be late.

Whoa!

(screams)

Whoa!

(chuckles) Way to go, Dad.

Um, thank you, Henry. I think. Now, where was I?

We're going to be late?

Ah, yes. Look at the time, Henry.

Agh! Look at the time, Henry!

Where? Where is it?

- Where's the time, Dad? - (giggles)

I'm late. I'm late!

- For a very important-- - Date?

No, meeting.

My tie. Where did I put my tie?

(chuckles) You're wearing it, Dad!

Have a good day.

Morning.

Horrid family.

Well, that was a good start to the morning.

And that makes it even better.

I'll be lucky if I see my skateboard again this week.

Too right, Henry.

Mum's really, really cross with you.

- (roars) - (squeals)

MUM: Don't be horrid, Henry!

Welcome to my morning.

Mornings can be good or bad.

Sometimes you can't always tell straightaway

what kind of morning it's gonna be.

Like at the weekends when Mum decides

that I have to get up early, and do my chores.

But sometimes she forgets to come, and yell at me.

And I get to lie in till lunchtime.

So that's a good morning!

Until Mum remembers, and comes and yells at me again.

Usually to pick my clothes up off the floor.

I try telling her it's a floor-drobe, but she doesn't believe me.

So then what was a good morning becomes a bad morning.

(dog pants)

Morning! Don't know yet whether it's a good one or a bad one.

It's a horrid one.

Good morning, flowers!

Good morning, sky!

Good morning, tree!

The worm always seems to have a good morning.

Good morning, Paul!

Morning, Peter.

- Morning, Henry. - Morning, Paul.

Now then, Henry, is it a good one, or a bad one?

Can't tell yet.

Mum confiscated my skateboard, so you could say it's a bad one.

But today's Friday, so only one more day at school?

Yep. Wait. Does that make it a good morning?

Does in my book.

Well, can't stay here chatting to you all morning.

Got my last delivery to make, then I'm off for the day.

- (tires screech) - PAUL: Whoo-hoo! Giddyup, Trigger!

(Henry chuckles)

- MARGARET: When I say I want one... - Uh-oh.

That means I want one!

What do you have to do round here to get a Boodle Poodle?

Morning, Margaret!

Huh! Nothing good about this morning, snotslime.

Do you see what happened there?

I didn't even say good morning to her.

I just said morning, but she assumed I was saying good morning.

What a bogey brain.

Henry! Morning, Henry.

- Morning, Ralph. - Good one or bad one, Henry?

- Dunno yet. - Me neither. It started good.

- Let me guess. Breakfast in bed? - Yep.

(clears throat)

(yawns)

But then disaster struck.

My red shirt was in the wash.

- Haven't you got another one? - They were all in the wash.

- Hmm, so bad morning, then. - Well...

Hang on. What am I talking about?

You have someone who brings you breakfast in bed,

and picks up your clothes, and gives you the clean ones,

even if they aren't the right color?

- Well, yeah. - That'd be a mega good morning for me.

- Well, yeah. - Guess it's all relative.

Maybe you should be Rich Ralph, instead of Rude Ralph.

Nah. I'm rude. Always have been, always will be.

I was born to be rude!

(blows raspberry)

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a bee that's buzzin' ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than your auntie's cousin ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a mountain goat ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a Henry thank-you note ♪

♪ So I'm walking down the street No guesses who I meet ♪

♪ Our old mate called Al He's a really good pal ♪

♪ So I do no more I start to snore ♪

♪ 'Cause that's how I am I'm rude ♪

- ♪ He's rude ♪ - ♪ Oh, I'm rude ♪

♪ He's really, really rude ♪ - ♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a bee that's buzzin' ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than your auntie's cousin ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a mountain goat ♪

♪ Rude Ralph ♪

♪ Ruder than a Henry thank-you note ♪

Greetings, Lord High Majesty.

Greetings, Al. How's your morning so far?

Good so far, actually.

I've done three laps of the park. Got time for one more before school.

Well, that's, uh, cool.

See yous all later!

Like I say, it's all relative.

Talking of relatives, Henry.

(posh accent) OK, yah. Morning, Henry.

What do you want?

- Just being friendly. OK, yah. - Why?

Got any of those sticky spiders left. OK, yah.

Why do you wanna know?

They're all the rage at school. OK, yah.

And I said I had loads at home. OK, yah. And...

And Rich Aunt Ruby won't buy you any?

Well, no, I mean... OK, yah. I mean...

Come over at the weekend, and I'll see what I can do. OK, yah?

OK, yah. I mean, OK, yah.

Uh, thanks, Henry.

- What you do that for? - Dunno. Feeling generous, I guess.

Plus, you never know when a favor like that will come in handy.

I guess. We're gonna be late.

- So? Feeling good about this morning. - We'll get detention.

Do you mind getting detention, Ralph?

Well, no, not really.

It would be cool to toot-scoot this afternoon,

instead of watching Soggy Sid pick his nose for an hour.

Agreed.

So I told him.

I said, "If I don't get a Boodle Poodle, then it's me or the dog."

Like, how does that work, Margaret?

Trust me, Linda. It'll work.

ALL: Best boys! Best boys! Best boys!

(indistinct chatter)

(blows kiss)

(sighs)

It's a jungle in there. Ready?

ALL: Purple Hand! Purple Hand! Purple Hand!

- Cool. - Yeah, double cool.

- We going in? - I dunno.

We're going in.