Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

Wanna dance, Fluffy?

(meows)

Wanna join us?

(Too Cool For School theme music plays)

- Oh! - Ooh!

Uh-uh! Yeah!

AL: Whoo-hoo!

(meows)

♪ Got no time for homework Too busy being me ♪

♪ Singing Zero Zombies Eating beans for tea ♪

♪ Down with wormy worm That's what I decree ♪

- ♪ I'm the King around here ♪ - ♪The Lord High Majesty ♪

♪They say that I am horrid But little do they know ♪

♪ I'm really, really horrid And that's the way it goes ♪

♪ I'm a hero, I'm a pirate Gungeing girls with goo ♪

♪ A Tyrannosaurus Rex Coming straight at you ♪

♪ Wanna goo it, goo it, goo it ♪

♪ I just wanna do it I just wanna goo it ♪

♪ Too cool, too cool for school ♪

(chuckles)

♪ Too cool, too cool for school ♪

♪ Too cool for school ♪

- Whoo! - Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

- Ready to watch my movie? - Ready, Mr Film Star.

I've restocked the loo rolls, cleaned out my toothbrush holder,

dusted under the bath, and now I'm going to clean my shoes.

Oh, that's a good boy, Peter.

What a worm!

(both laugh)

PETER IN MOVIE: Henry?

BOTH: Go away, worm!

(both chuckle)

PETER IN MOVIE: Eek! Mum!

- (parp from can) - BOTH: Fart in a can.

- (both laugh) - Better known as Rude Ralph.

(slurps)

That's gross, Fluffy.

(chuckles) Yeah, gross, Fluffy!

You're not meant to do that.

- She's not the only one. - What do you mean?

You're not meant to be holding hands with a girl, Henry.

- Huh? - (DVD plays)

MARGARET: You can let go of my hand now, Henry.

See, Henry, what I don't understand...

What is it, Al? What is it that you don't understand?

Well, why you were holding hands

with a bogey-brain girl in the first place, Henry?

(yells) No!

(groans)

You see, me and the gang...

You and the gang?

Yeah, the Purple Hand Gang. Remember us?

- HENRY: Course I remember you! - AL: Yeah, course you do.

You just don't remember how come you were holding hands

with a bogey-brain girl in the movie.

No! I mean, yes! I mean, there was a reason why.

Was there? I didn't see any reason in the movie.

It's not there. It didn't make it into the final version of the movie.

Oh, I get it. You had the movie censored.

You didn't want us to know you'd been holding hands with a bogey-brain girl.

Well, that doesn't work, does it?

If I didn't want you to know about it then I'd have cut it all out,

including the bit where I was holding her hand!

Yeah, I suppose you would, Henry. So, what happened then, Henry?

Look, if I tell you, do you promise never to tell anyone else?

AL: Course! What are friends for?

'Cause only two people know what really happened in our Lady Giddiantus school,

and that's Margaret and me.

I understand, Henry.

What happens in Giddiantus stays in Giddiantus, eh, Henry?

Yeah, I guess you could say that.

Picture the scene.

Me and Margaret walk through that big creaky door.

(door slams)

- (whispering) - And we walk into that great big hall.

And all we can hear is whispering.

And then bogey brain says...

- Run away! - So we run.

I think I'm going a bit mad, because I think I see Miss Battle-Axe

talking to me out of a picture.

- Henry, you horrid boy. - (gasps)

Oh, that's weird.

Too weird. Anyway,

I get upstairs, and I can't see Margaret anywhere.

Margaret? Margaret?

So I start to walk along the creepy corridor.

(chanting)

And then...

- What happened then, Henry? - And then she grabbed me!

We know that bit. What happened after that?

Turned out we were in the headmistress's study.

Alright, you can let go of me now.

(whispers) Shh! They'll hear you!

(phone beeps)

Where are we anyway?

CHANTING: Go, Giddiantus.

Headmistress's study is my guess.

CHANTING: Go, Giddiantus! Go, Giddiantus!

Go, Giddiantus! Go, Giddiantus!

There. My dad'll be here soon to take me home.

- What about me? - What about you?

(gasps) Hear anything?

- No. - That means they're up to something.

- How do you know? - They're girls, aren't they?

Told you!

What are you looking for?

What do you think, bird brain?

- We need ammunition. - Yep.

Otherwise we're never going to get out of here.

If you can't think of anything useful to say, don't say anything.

We could use this.

And we could use this as ammunition.

- I said... - I heard what you said.

HENRY: Cool!

Is that their confiscation cupboard?

Shouldn't think so. This is official stuff.

- (squelches) - It's good stuff, too.

- (girl shrieks) - When the going gets tough...

The tough get going!

- You load, I'll fire. - That's not fair.

If you think I'm touching that stuff, you've got another think coming.

Never mind, "Go, Giddiantus," should be, "Go away, Giddiantus!"

(door rattles)

Miss Battle-Axe?

And you are?

Let me guess. Henry.

- Horrid Henry. - Yes. But you're not--

I'm not your Miss Battle-Axe, no.

But I am Miss Battle-Axe. I am Boudicca's twin sister.

That's why the picture was there, Henry.

What do you mean?

The picture, when you thought old Battle-Axe was talking to you.

It was her twin sister.

Oh, yeah! Still weird, though.

Yeah, still weird, Henry.

Anyway, where was I?

You were going to tell me

how you ended up holding hands with a bogey-brain girl.

Yeah, so anyhow,

she said she wasn't going to punish us.

Our own Miss Battle-Axe would do that.

AL: Cool! Well, uh, not cool.

HENRY: No, but anyway, that's not what we were worried about.

We needed to find a way to get out.

And it seemed like the only way we were going to get out

was to... dress like girls.

(Al sniggers)

- HENRY: It's not funny. - Yeah, it is.

And watch out for those girls. They bite.

- (quivers) Thanks. - I'll go first.

MISS BATTLE-AXE: Good luck.

So, not holding hands yet then, Henry?

No. You know what happened next.

CHANTING: Go, Giddiantus! Go, Giddiantus!

Go, Giddiantus! Go, Giddiantus!

- (Henry farts) - AL: Can't believe you did that, Henry.

HENRY: Margaret wanted to go back for her fluffy fairy, but it was dangerous.

(girls shout)

(doors creak)

Looks like that's our only way out.

If we're quick, we might just make it.

Wait.

(whispers) If we give up now, we're dead, Henry.

What happened next, Henry?

That's when bogey brain turned to me and said...

Ready, beetle breath?

HENRY: And I said...

Ready as I'll ever be, bogey brain!

BOTH: Now!

Oh, that's really romantical, Henry.

No, it's not.

- How did it feel, Henry? - How did what feel?

Holding hands with a bogey-brain girl?

Well, like holding hands with a bogey-brain girl, I guess.

Anyway, now you know what happened.

Yep, now we know what happened.

What do you mean "we?"

You mean you and me, right?

Well, you and me, and everyone out there.

(yells) No!

TV: And Number Gnome Number Six said, "If you are Number Two..."

"Then who is Number One?"

Oooh, this is so exciting.

(tablet beeps)

Look, Fluffy. It's a message from the Number Gnomes.

(beeps)

It says, "Hashtag Number Gnome Number One," Fluffy.

Oooh, I wonder if that's code for something.

MUM: Peter?

- Yes, Mum. - (turns TV off)

Nighty-night, Fluffy Wuffy. See you in the morning.

(beeps and camera clicks)

So then we got a secret message from Number Gnome Number One.

What did it say, sweetie bundle?

Well, it said...

We know what it said, worm. You've told us a thousand times!

I thought you couldn't hear me when you put your fingers in your ear.

Unfortunately, I can, worm.

So why do you put your fingers in your ears then, Henry?

Because I am making a statement.

- A statement about what, Henry? - About how boring you are!

Don't be horrid, Henry!

So then we got a secret message from Number Gnome Number One.

Can you believe this?

How do you know it was a secret message, Peter?

What do you mean?

I mean, are you sure it was secret, Peter?

Well, yes, it said it was secret.

Because maybe it's not secret.

Maybe everyone else knows about it, too.

It was a secret message! It said...

Here we go again.

(yells) No!

(yells) No!

I said, it said...

What does "hashtag" even mean, anyway?

Who knows, Henry? That's the mystery of the message.

Well, it's been nice chatting with you. Gotta go now.

- Not so fast, Henry. - Huh?

I think it would be nice if you spent some time with Peter today.

Oh, sure. Come on, Peter. Let's go and play goo the worm!

Not that kind of time, Henry.

Quality time.

Quality time?

- Yes. Like... - HENRY: Like...

Like solving the mystery of the message.

No. Oh, no. No more mysteries, please.

What a lovely idea, Peter.

Off you two go, then.

What are you doing today, Mum? Maybe I can help you.

Today I'm spring-cleaning the kitchen.

Spring-cleaning the kitchen? Of course!

It couldn't be a light spot of dusting or emptying the bins!

It has to be spring-cleaning the kitchen!

Nope, just can't do it.

I ask you, is life fair?

Come on then, worm.

The answer is no, by the way.

Wait for me! I'll just get my magnifying glass.

- Morning, Dad. - Morning, Peter.

MUM: Henry just offered to help me spring-clean the kitchen.

Is he feeling OK?

PETER: Ooh, this tin is really dirty, Henry.

You ought to have a spring clean in here.

HENRY: Be my guest.

PETER: You should take pride in your surroundings.

I do take pride in my surroundings.

I'm very proud of my fort, just the way it is.

When are we going to start solving the mystery, Henry?

Whoa! That's scary!

Not as scary as Mum's going to be if you don't help me solve the mystery.

(sighs) Tell me again what the message said.

It said...

MARGARET: Hashtag Number Gnome Number One.

Oh, joy. My Saturday morning is complete.

PETER: Margaret! You saw it, too!

Shall we?

- PETER: You watch Number Gnomes, too? - MARGARET: Never heard of 'em.

But I do, as you know, own two mobile phones.

What a bogey brain.

So what do you...?

What do you...?

- (chuckles) - Would you like to come in, Margaret?

Oh, thank you, Peter. Don't mind if I do.

What are you doing, worm?

You don't just invite a bogey brain over!

She can help us solve the mystery.

But how do you know it wasn't her that sent the message in the first place?

- It wasn't. - Yeah, we're supposed to believe you.

Sometimes, Henry, I do tell the truth. Just not always to you.

Right, what have we got, then?

Well, nothing really, except the message.

Remind me again what it said.

It said, "Hashtag Number Gnome Number One."

Hmm. Hashtag Number Gnome Number One.

You're sure that was all it said? Hashtag Number Gnome Number One?

- Why do you keep doing that, Henry? - I dunno.

It's like it's some weird habit I've got, and I can't stop doing it.

So this hashtag...

What does "hashtag" even mean, anyway?

(sighs) You really do ask the most bird-brained questions of all time.

- All of the time! - Oh, yeah?

Can't you see I'm busy?

He's not worth it, Margaret.

Come on. Let's solve the mystery.

Hashtag Number Gnome Number One. Here we come!

Hey, did you see that? I didn't do it that time.

Peter said, "Hashtag..."

And I put my fingers in my ears.

Hey, do you hear that?

That is the sound of silence, my friend.

And that means we can go, and hang out and watch re-runs of Gross Class Zero!

(chuckles)

What are you waiting for? Come on!

(whispers) Forgot about the spring cleaning.

We'll have to find another way in. Try the front.

Peter, for the 365th time,

we are not going to find the answer on my garden wall.

The answer to the mystery can be in the smallest things, Margaret.

And anyway, Dad says this is our wall.

At least he says it is until something needs doing to it.

Funny. That's just what my dad says, too.

Here, take this.

Alright then, Margaret. We'll try it your way.

My way works. Now, you look up Number Gnomes Number One.

Well, what are you waiting for? Get on with it!

Alright, alright. What are you going to look up, then?

Hashtag, of course!

Reckon we can make it?

Hashtag... (mutters)

Whose idea was this, anyway? Why is it always up to me?

Worth a try!

(Margaret and Peter argue)

(doorbell rings)

(both argue)

Oh, it's you!

Mission nearly accomplished.

We did it!

- (tablet beeps) - "Hashtag. Are you a Number Gnome?"

I am so not a Number Gnome!

(beeps)

"Hashtag..." Hey, did you see that?

I didn't have to put my fingers in my ears!

"Are you sure you're not a Number Gnome?"

Pah! Yes, I am sure.

(beeps)

"Number Gnome is as Number Gnome does."

- What does that mean? - (beeps)

"It means you are a Number Gnome."

PETER: It's coming from inside the fort.

Hey. What's happening?

What's happening? What's happening?!

Hashtag here's what's happening. Hashtag hopeless.

Hashtag mystery solved? Duh! No! Hashtag magnifying glass.

Think that makes you Sherlock? Hashtag what do you think?

Hashtag do you think? Answer, hashtag no!

(tablet beeps)

It's another mystery message.

(sighs) Let me see.

It's from the Number Gnomes.

(groans) What a surprise.

"Hashtag Number Gnomes. How much gnome?"

How much gnome? How much gnome?!

Oh, who cares?

I'm off to do something more interesting, like watching paint dry.

It's me.

What do you mean it's you?

- I'm Number Gnome Number One. - Huh?

Because I know the Number Gnomes Number One rhyme.

You do?

How much gnome would a gnome gnome gnome

if a gnome gnome could gnome gnome?

Means nothing to me.

Mum, we've solved the mystery of the Number Gnomes!

- What was that all about? - (beeps)

"Hashtag. Number Gnomes. Who is Number Gnome Number Two?"

(yells) No!