Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK? ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

- Watch the show last night, Henry? - A bit.

- AL: Cool. - Then Mum caught me.

- Not cool. - Punishment?

Yep. Straight to bed.

- Definitely not cool. - Harsh.

- Not as harsh as Dad. - Oh, yeah?

He had to read the Number Gnomes in Space to the worm.

(both laugh)

Cool!

- Oh. Not cool? - Not cool.

Hmm, not cool. Let me guess, Henry.

You're talking about that pathetic little TV show you call a--

- TV show? - Well, yes. The pathetic one.

You're the pathetic one.

Let me see, Boodle Poodles. That's not pathetic?

It is not!

It's a daring story of dogs doing daring deeds.

Yeah, daring deeds.

You said "daring" twice. Three times if you count Susan.

I know I did. It was deliberate.

Whatever! Not half as impressive as a...

Evil Guardian?

A evil guardian.

Yeah, a evil guardian.

- An. - You what?

An evil guardian.

Not a evil guardian.

An evil guardian.

Everybody knows that.

Yeah, everybody knows.

She's right. Everybody does know that.

(sighs) Look, give me a break, will you?

I'm fed up of everyone going on at me the whole time.

Whoo, listen to him, will you?

- He does seem a bit upset. - Like we care!

Alright, then, like I care.

Yeah, like I care.

As I was saying, if the resonant key of one is divided by two

that will equal...

Henry?

Yes, miss?

I notice you didn't have your hand up.

Yes, miss. I mean, no, miss.

Do you not think you should have had your hand up?

Uh, yes, miss. I mean, no, miss.

I mean, I didn't know the answer, so how could I put my hand up?

Ashton Primary expects every child to put their hand up

when... when it is expected that they will put their hands up.

Thank you. You can put them down now.

What do you have to say for yourself, Henry?

- Um... - Detention, Henry.

You will stay here at break time, and write out these lines.

(yells) No!

- Thought you might need company. - Thanks, Ralph.

(tune plays on phone)

Gross! This is really cool, Henry.

Yeah, I know.

Now if you'll excuse me...

- What we doing? - I'm doing my lines.

- And I'm watching him. - Oh. Can I watch, too?

Be my guest.

"I must not put my hand up in class unless I know the answer."

Signed, Henry?

- But it says on the board... - Yeah, I know.

It says that "I must put my hand up in class even if I don't know the answer."

So, why are you writing it wrong?

I'm not writing it wrong, Al. I'm writing it right.

In fact, Al, I'm not going to write it at all.

You'll be in big trouble.

But it doesn't make sense what I've got to write.

No. But you'll still be in big trouble.

You know what? I don't care. I'm going to get some fresh air.

- Fresh air? - Henry?

That really doesn't make sense.

(birds chirp)

- Good day at school, Henry? - Horrid.

- What, you, or the day at school? - What do you think?

I had a perfect day at school.

Why am I not surprised?

I got a gold star for making your toilet roll go further,

and then I got a gold star for my essay

on how to blow your nose in public without making a noise,

and then I got another gold star

for putting my hand up in class every time the teacher asked a question,

even if I didn't know the answer.

Can you believe it?

- What's for tea? - Something that's good for you.

- That means something I won't like. - Not necessarily.

- We made fairy cakes to celebrate. - Oh, goody.

They're Number Gnomes fairy cakes.

Double-goody!

- With pom poms on. - Ooh, triple...

Oh, what's the point? I can't even be bothered to be horrid anymore.

You see, Fang, it's not easy being horrid all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In fact, it's quite hard work.

MARGARET: Oi, bogey brain, snot face, snot for brains!

- See what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What kind of insult is that anyway?

Go away! I'm on strike.

Yeah, right. What does that even mean?

It means what I want it to mean.

You what?

Come back here, you smelly toady bogey brain of a boy!

They don't get any better, do they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bedtime, Henry.

Alright, Dad.

- Everything alright, Henry? - Yeah. Think I need an early night.

Good idea. You get some sleep, Henry. Tomorrow is another day.

Yeah, it is.

- Night, Henry. - Night, Dad.

- Night, Fang. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(owl hoots)

(beeps)

(squelching from can)

- Think it's Henry you want. - Oh, yeah.

- He's not coming in. - What do you mean?

- He's on strike. - What do you mean he's on strike?

- He's not coming in. - What do you mean?

Going round in circles we are. Goodbye.

(clock ticks)

Where's Henry?

Not coming in, miss.

Oh. Might I inquire why?

He's on strike, miss.

Oh. Right.

(clock ticks)

(ticks and bell rings)

Class dismissed!

Face it, Margaret, it's just not the same without him.

You can say that again. But I don't miss him. Not one bit.

(birds chirp)

Oh, good. You're awake.

What's the time?

It's gone ten o'clock.

- But it's a school day today. - I know.

Dad thought you'd feel better if you had a little lie-in.

- Cool! - Come and get your breakfast.

- You can be in school at break time. - Not so cool.

(tires screech and horn honks)

What's going on here?

Or should I say, what's not going on here?

Henry! (laughs)

(squelching from can)

Alright. Can't a boy walk into the playground without being fart-bombed?

- He's back. - Henry's back.

ALL: Henry's back.

BOTH: Henry's back. Henry's back.

Thanks, worm.

Henry's back!

Henry's back!

Yeah, Henry's back.

Great, you're back.

Yeah. Missed me, have you?

Missed you? Missed you?

I'll tell you about missed you,

you snot for brains, snail-paced bogey bonce!

You may think I missed you...

It's good to be back.

Or should I say it's horrid to be back?!

(laughs)

MUM: Henry! Time to get up!

HENRY: Here, Mum.

Henry? Are you feeling alright?

Fine, thank you, Mum.

Just wanted to get into school early.

You sure you're feeling alright, Henry?

Bye, Mum.

Bet you're wondering if I'm feeling alright,

Well, the answer's yes, 'cause today is the last day of term,

which means no more school for weeks and weeks and weeks!

It's holiday time!

Glad we're not gonna have to watch that for a while.

Yeah, 'cause it's...

BOTH: Holiday time!

Come on, you horrible lot. Get a move on.

Thank you, kind sir.

What did you say?

Uh, I said thank you, kind sir.

Right, that's it, you horrid boy.

(blows whistle)

Detention!

Now, now, Mr Soggington.

Let's not get too enthusiastic.

It's the last day of term, remember.

Oh, yes, Miss Oddbod.

I was... forgetting myself.

Run along, Henry.

We'll defer your detention to next term, if anybody remembers it.

Yes, Miss Oddbod.

I don't know about you, but I've got the feeling

that today's going to be a good day.

Oh, I think we can do better than that.

It is a special day today, after all.

They won't keep till next term, whatever you say.

Thank you, Graham's mum.

You're welcome, Henry. Going somewhere nice for your holidays?

Oh, yeah. Well, my mum hasn't actually booked anything yet, but...

- That's nice, dear. - Best day ever!

Miss Battle-Axe was positively cheerful in lessons this morning.

(hums)

Whoo-hoo! Hee!

Where's everyone off to for their holidays?

- I dunno. - Somewhere with no spiders.

- Or any other creepy crawlies. - Sport camp.

Executive chef course.

50 winning ways with a carrot.

As far away from here as possible.

Yeah, me, too. At least I hope it will be.

I'm thinking desert island, sun, sea, sand,

and the worm in his proper place.

RALPH: Yeah, and no teachers.

MISS BATTLE-AXE: Whoo-hoo!

Thanks, Ralph.

(giggles) Sorry, Henry.

That's OK. Nothing can spoil today 'cause it's...

ALL: Holiday time!

Oops! Won't be needing that for a while!

Guess what, Henry?

It's holiday time!

- And? - And we're going to a desert island?

No. Mum says it's much more exciting than a desert island.

Cool! Let's go and find out.

Oh. Uh...

It's holiday time!

What do you mean, we're going on holiday next door?

Well, just that, really.

Margaret's mum mentioned that they were going away.

Yeah, to a desert island most likely.

Don't be horrid, Henry.

How is that horrid?

Going on holiday to a desert island

is about the most unhorrid thing I can think of.

You know what Mum meant.

So when she said they were looking for someone to house-sit...

We volunteered to do it.

That's horrid.!

Well, I think it sounds like fun.

Do you, honey bun?

Yes!

We can pack up our suitcases, and we can lock up the front door,

and check all the windows at least three times,

and then we can walk down the garden path,

and we can come back again to check all the windows and then--

Alright, Peter. We get the message.

The best thing is Fluffy Wuffy can come with us!

(meows)

Yeah. Meow.

PETER: And we won't have to send her to the Comfy Cat Spa.

So, it's all sorted, then. We're off on holiday tomorrow.

- Yippee! - Yay.

ALL THREE: Don't be horrid, Henry!

- All packed, Henry? - I guess so.

Good. Because we're leaving nice and early to avoid the traffic.

But we're only going next door. We can leave any time we like.

Oh, don't be horrid, Henry.

As you can see, I've packed for every occasion. Not!

There's one good thing about going on holiday next door.

You can come back if you've forgotten something.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can come with us, Fang!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - If smelly cat's coming, you are too.

Oh, well, tomorrow is another day, as they say.

Will you all hurry up?

We're going to be late.

(gnome beeps)

Hooray, hooray, today's a holiday, the best one ever.

Never mind the weather.

Ooh, goody! The sun is shining!

All the more reason to get going.

ALL: Henry!

Let me help you with that. Ooh! I see you haven't packed all your belongings.

- Nope. - (claps) Come on. Let's get loading.

Back in a roly mo.

Fang would never forgive me if I didn't bring his favorite snack.

It's holiday time!

(engine starts)

(thunder rumbles)

Well, here we are.

- We're on holiday! - Yay.

So, what shall we do first?

How about I make us a nice cup of tea, while you start unpacking.

- What a good idea! - Yay.

Right. Peter, you're in the guest suite.

Yippee!

Come on Number Gnome number 22, let's go and look at our bedroom!

- Henry, you're in Margaret's bedroom. - What?!

Why do I have to sleep in bogey brain's bedroom?

Because, Henry.

Why can't the worm sleep there? He even likes pink.

It specifically says that you are to sleep in Margaret's bedroom.

So. It's not like it's some sort of contract, is it?

- Actually, Henry, it is a contract. - What?!

Yes, Henry. It's always a good idea to have a contract.

In case anything goes wrong.

But, but what else is in the contract?

(clears throat) "No feet on the sofa, living room carpet or walls."

- "No takeaways." - Not even pizza?

- Nope. - What's a holiday without pizza?

"No wild parties. No DIY. No cooking on an open fire."

"No painting with fingers, brushes, or any form of distribution mechanism."

"No making of films. No tapestry-making, or willow-basket weaving."

"No crumbs. No animals unless they're called Fluffy."

"Especially no animals if they look like a rat."

Fang? Where's Fang?

We had to leave him at home. No rat-like animals, Henry.

Fang isn't a rat!

- He does look like one sometimes. - What?

Well, in a certain light.

"No moles. No snoots. No..."

- Where are you going, Henry? - To feed Fang.

He'll starve, or had you forgotten that he needs feeding?

We've made sure he won't starve.

(groans)

I'm going back anyway. I'm fed up of this holiday lark.

We're not going home, Henry. At least not for two weeks.

It's in the contract.

(yells) No!

Pink, pink everywhere, and not a snotbag in sight!

(sighs)

"Do not pull the rope."

MARGARET: I repeat, do not pull the rope. Or else!

(banging and crashing)

MUM, DAD AND PETER: Henry!

(engine starts)

It turns out the contract also covered the insurance,

in case anything went wrong,

which means... it's holiday time!

BOTH: No!