Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK? ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

TV: And it looks like snow, snow, snow,

all the way to the end of the year and beyond.

Snow! How cool is that?!

(groans) Snow.

That means an early start, Henry, to get you into school on time.

- But-- - DAD: No buts, Henry. N-O spells no.

But how do you know what I was going to say?

That you shouldn't have to go to school if it's snowing.

Well, yeah. That is what I was going to say.

The answer's still...

No!

(purrs)

(meows)

(chirps)

Chillax, guys. It's only a little bit of snow.

Oh, snow. I knew there was a reason why we're getting up early.

- Morning. - How bad is it?

Bigger! Make it bigger!

Make it bigger than bigger!

Oh, it's bad. Really bad.

It looks great to me.

Thank goodness you're all ready for school. We need to leave now.

But I'm not going to school today, am I?

Come on, Henry! Stop dragging your feet!

(grunts) Have a good day.

Good of your dad to drop you off, Henry.

Yeah, well, I hadn't exactly planned to be here today.

Me neither, Henry.

My mum said if I came in,

she'd get me the Gross Pick Your Best Friend's Nose game for Christmas.

- Cool! - That's what I thought!

Hang on a minute. Am I your best friend?

- Yeah, I reckon so. - So that means...

Halt there, young men.

Where do you think you're going?

Into school. Unfortunately.

- Not this way you're not. - BOTH: Huh?

Off you go, then.

(sobs) I was really looking forward to coming to school.

Really? Why?

Because I'd have a chance to play with all my friends in the snow.

Oh, right. Well, I suppose if you look at it that way...

Only now there won't be any playing in the snow.

- Who says? - (whistle blows)

I says.

I mean, I say.

We're not wearing appropriate clothing.

Huh? What do you mean?

He means you're not wearing appropriate clothing.

School rules say no pupils may play in the playground

when the snow is snowing.

Unless and until they are wearing appropriate clothing.

But I'm wearing a hat. He's wearing a scarf.

(sobs)

He's wearing a hat. And so is she.

- Where's your hat Bert? - I dunno.

HENRY: We're all wearing appropriate clothing, sir.

No, you're not.

Yes, we are. We're wearing hats and scarves.

Well, I can't see them.

This is my hat. My horrid hat. And I'm wearing it.

Still can't see it.

Listen, Henry, a rule is a rule.

And that's a rule.

- But... - But me no buts, Henry.

If...

There is is and there is is not, Henry.

There is no if.

Come on, Henry. Let's just go inside.

(indistinct chatter)

Good morning, everyone.

Mr Soggington has requested the use of this assembly

to remind everyone of the school rules.

(class groans)

Over to you, Mr Soggington.

(Mr Soggington murmurs)

And, finally, rule number three,

no playing in the playground when the snow is snowing.

Unless and until you are wearing appropriate clothing.

And that, my young friends, and enemies,

is, as they say, that.

So...

(class groans)

Who can tell me how many rules there are?

Yes, Nicola?

Three, sir.

Nice try, Nicola, but the answer is, in fact, four.

- But... - But me no buts, Nicola.

Here we go again.

Who can tell us what rule number four is?

Henry.

Perhaps you can tell us what rule number four is?

Um...

Come on, Henry. We're waiting.

Rule number four is...

Rule number four is there are no rules!

(class cheers)

Wrong, Henry.

Rule number four is there are three rules.

Now, then, does anyone need me to run through that again for them?

Uh, thank you, Mr Soggington. (claps)

Now if you'd all like to move

slowly and quietly to Miss Lovely's classroom,

lessons will be conducted there today.

Did you like my pointy stick, Boudicca?

Very impressive.

(sobs)

Now, now, William. It's not that bad.

But it is, Miss Lovely.

It's really bad.

There there, William.

All that snow.

(sobs)

Snow won't hurt you, William.

I know! I love snow!

(wails)

He wants to play in the snow with his friends.

- (blows nose) - Oh.

Would you like to pop outside for a minute while I sort everyone else out?

I can't, Miss Lovely.

He's not dressed appropriately.

Oh, nonsense! You've got a nice warm scarf on.

(pupils cheer)

Oh... I didn't mean everyone.

They do seem to be having fun.

I love snow.

(whistle blows)

What's going on here, you horrid children?

Oh, sorry, Miss Lovely. Didn't see you there.

Sorry, Miss Lovely. (sobs)

(giggles)

Right, that's enough of that.

(blows whistle)

Oi, you horrible lot!

You know the rules.

Sir, we know the rules. Well, the rule.

We understand the rule.

So what are you doing out here, then?

We're not breaking the rule.

But the snow has been snowing,

and you're playing in the playground.

And we've got appropriate clothing.

No, you haven't.

Yes, we have.

This is the hat of justice!

This is the scarf of liberty!

And these are the mittens of truth.

ALL: Mittens of truth.

Scarf of liberty.

Hat of justice.

Can you see my horrid hat now, sir?

Um, no.

Well, maybe. Sometimes.

I think it's time to give in gracefully, Mr Soggington.

Oh, right, but you see, Miss Oddbod...

And live to fight another day.

Oh. I see what you're saying, Miss Oddbod.

(clears throat) I have been advised

by powers higher than me...

Ahem, by powers much higher than me...

(inhales deeply)

...that I should give in gracefully,

and live to fight another day.

(all cheer)

You did it, Henry!

We did it!

(all cheer)

And so we live to fight another day.

(chuckles) Oh, heck!

Henry, it's Margaret again.

That's the sixth time she's called this evening.

Is there something you want to tell me, Henry?

No way!

Can I tell him what it's about, Margaret?

(high-pitched indistinct chatter)

She says she wants to discuss her motivation.

(sighs) Again!

- Hello? - (high-pitched indistinct chatter)

School panto.

She's the star. And I'm the director.

Hello? Hello?

Are you listening to me, Henry?

- I'm listening. - Good.

So, my question is should I wear the sequins or the sparkles?

And if I wear the sparkles...

Bet you're wondering how this happened.

It was just another boring school day.

(trumpet plays)

(all laugh)

Hey, Margaret, is it fancy-dress day today?

I hereby announce that today is the day

I shall audition for, and get the best part in the school panto.

(blows trumpet)

I hereby announce that this year's panto is canceled,

due to lack of interest.

Or rather lack of funds.

No!

(chalk squeaks)

(keypad clicks)

(camera clicks)

This is all your fault, Henry.

How's it my fault?

You ruined last year's play!

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

You were supposed to say no

when we asked if there was any room at the inn,

and you said, "Yes, come on in."

I was just being friendly.

Whatever! I am not letting you ruin it this year.

(phone honks)

- Sorted! - What do you mean sorted?

It seems, ahem, that the school panto has been saved.

Yay! (chuckles)

Due to the kindness of a mystery benefactor.

That's my dad. Mystery benefactor.

MISS ODDBOD: Uh, yes, thank you, Margaret.

Oh, don't thank me. Thank my dad.

- So, where were we? - MARGARET: Auditions, Miss Battle-Axe.

Pardon, Margaret?

Da panto's da ting, I reckon. So we should audition now, don'tcha reckon?

You're right, Margaret. The panto's the thing.

But, first, we need a director.

Henry, perhaps you would do us the honor of directing the panto this year?

What? Me? Uh, no, thank you, Miss Battle-Axe.

Right, then, that's settled.

You two, sort it out at break time.

Now, on with today's lesson.

So, that's how I ended up working with old beetle bonce.

MARGARET: I heard that, Henry.

Oh, I didn't mean you, darling. I meant... Peter.

I-I-I meant Peter. He's playing a beetle... bonce.

Hello?

Oh-hoo-hoo! Now you've gone and done it.

Am I really playing a beetle, Henry?

If so, could I be the bogusum beetlearius?

No! I've told you already, you're the white rabbit.

But I'm a pink rabbit!

You'll just have to pretend, won't you?

Oh, I see! You mean method acting.

I can do that.

I'm expected to work with that?

Being director isn't that bad. You get to boss everyone around.

And with Rude Ralph as my trusty lieutenant, what could go wrong?

What have you got for me, Ralph?

Fearless Phantom is a no. He's too busy being fearless.

Stunning Stella is a no. Too busy being stunning

The too-cool-for-school presenters...

Too busy being too cool for school?

You got it!

I thought about asking Father Christmas, but it's a busy time of year.

Right. Anyone else want to appear in our perfect panto?

I'm thinking as hard as I can, Henry. That's not easy for me.

You've got to do more than just think, Ralph.

- We need a star by tonight. Or else. - Or else what?

- Or else we won't have one. - Right!

Like I said, what could possibly go wrong?

(indistinct chatter)

- I need a dresser. - What for?

To dress me, of course.

Can't you dress yourself?

Actors don't dress themselves.

(sighs) Who's next?

- Me. - Yes, Margaret.

- We need a new Mad Hatter. - (whimpers)

- What? - Watch this.

- (shouts) Off with his head. - (sobs)

See?

Come on, William. We'll find you another part.

So I'll find my own Mad Hatter, then, shall I?

And what color do you call this?

It's pink. You like pink.

But I'm the Queen of Hearts!

Otherwise known as the red queen!

How can I be the red queen without a red queen's hat?

(shouts) Off with his head! And off with your heads, too!

You , and you, and as for you...

(they giggle)

19, 20.

Where did you lot come from?

(snivels)

(sobs)

Oh, cheer up, William. You can join Team Snow White.

(sobs)

It's better than being a blade of grass.

Can't I be Snow White?

I don't see why not.

(yawns) But, like, I'm Snow White.

Right.

Well, William, you can be Snow White when she's awake,

and Linda, you can be Snow White when she's asleep.

How does that sound?

(yawns) Like, cool.

See? You just have to be decisive.

- And you are? - BERT: I dunno.

(shouts) Off with his head, off with his head, off with his head!

- What's he doing here? - He's with me!

- Oh, no, he isn't. - Oh, yes, he is.

He is Anthony to my Cleopatra,

Tarzan to my Jane, Darcy to my Elizabeth.

You only asked me if I wanted to be the Mad Hatter.

And so you are.

The maddest hatter there ever was, to my red queen, the Queen of Hearts.

(squelching)

Queen of Farts more like!

I think I've found us a star.

I'm a star!

A real star.

Cool! Who is it?

Hmm, that could work.

Just one thing, Henry. He wants to be in the closing song.

(gasps) The closing song!

I knew I'd forgotten something!

Don't you worry, Henry. I've taken care of it.

This is it. Let's put a smile on those faces.

(audience cheers)

The closing song is called Believe,

and it's written by my best friend, Ralph.

(audience cheers and applauds)

(whistling)

♪ When I was young, I used to think ♪

♪ That fairies lived under the kitchen sink ♪

♪ That Snow White would come to rescue me ♪

♪ That I'd always get home in time for tea ♪

- ♪ But now that I'm older ♪ - ♪ I know that life's a bit colder ♪

♪ And often it's really not fair ♪

- ♪ The hatter is mad ♪ - ♪ Red queen's just as bad ♪

- ♪ Yeah, just as bad ♪ - ♪ And grown ups often don't care ♪

- ♪ So what's left to believe in? ♪ - ♪ When everyone's deceiving? ♪

♪ What is the meaning of life? ♪

- ♪ The answer, my friend ♪ - ♪ We've saved till the end ♪

♪ Till the end of the very last scene ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the star of our show tonight...

♪ Now I know you'll all agree It's obvious, you see ♪

♪ The meaning of life is ice cream ♪

(audience cheers and applauds)

(Margaret chatters indistinctly)

As you can see, Ralph saved the day.

Or the panto, at least.

So, I hear you ask, why is this bogey brain...?

- (shrieks) - Yes, I said bogey brain...

Why is this bogey brain still calling me to discuss her "motivation"?

Well, the panto was such a success

that Miss Oddbod says we have to do the same again next year.

Or else!

Henry? Henry! Are you still there?

Yes, I'm still here.

So, what do you think, sparkles or sequins?

No!