Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK? ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

Greetings, loyal subjects!

Morning!

My show, worm.

Come on.

MUM: Henry?

Henry, bedroom tidy.

Ralph's coming in a minute.

Then you've got a minute to tidy your bedroom. Starting now.

- 58 seconds, Henry. - (sighs)

No!

56 seconds, Henry.

(doorbell rings)

- Hey, Henry. - Ha! You're early.

MUM: 50 seconds, Henry.

- Come in. - MUM: 48 seconds.

- What's going on? - Mum's doing a countdown.

MUM: 43 seconds.

A countdown to what?

To you getting here.

MUM: 35 seconds.

- But I am here. - I know.

MUM: 30 seconds.

- You can stop counting now. - MUM: What?

I said... Oh, never mind.

Come on.

25 seconds, Henry.

Ralph's here now, Mum.

I can see that. 22 seconds left.

- Till what, Mum? - Till Ralph gets here.

Oh.

Well, then, you've both got 20 seconds to tidy your bedroom, Henry.

- But... - Starting now, Henry.

Parents, eh?

- Yeah, who'd have 'em? - MUM: 15 seconds.

- Ten... - We can do this.

Nine... eight...

...seven... six...

...five... four...

...three...

...two... one!

MUM: Henry?

(sighs) What now?

Henry, down here now!

(sighs)

Henry?

Down here now, Henry!

What's this, Henry?

Uh... Laundry?

What's it doing here, Henry?

Um, waiting to go into the washing machine?

No, Henry. It's not waiting.

It's going into the washing machine.

- Now! - But...

Now, Henry!

(sighs)

Wonder where Henry's got to.

(evil voice) I am the Evil Guardian.

- Hey, Ralph. - Oh, hi, Peter.

- Whatcha doin'? - Playing with Henry's toys.

Ooh! Is that the Evil Guardian?

Yeah, and he's just about to capture Bogey Barbara.

Take him. He's mega evil.

(evil voice) Ooh! Hello.

My name is the Evil Guardian,

and I'm mega evil.

(both giggle)

(grunts)

Mission accomplished!

(Peter roars)

I'm so evil I could...

Eat a Number Gnome. (laughs)

That's not funny.

Actually, it is quite funny.

(both laugh)

Come on! Let's find a Number Gnome to eat.

(Ralph cackles)

- MUM: Henry? - Yes, Mum.

Yes, Mum, what?

Phew! Oh, you'll never believe what happened, Ralph.

Ralph?

Ralph?

Hmm, that's weird.

- Whoa! Watch where you're going! - (phone rings)

Uh, have you seen...? Hang on a minute.

- Is that my...? - Uh, no.

MUM: Henry?

What?

- It's Ralph's mum. - Oh.

She wants to know when Ralph's coming home.

Eh?

What shall I tell her?

Uh, say we'll call her back.

Alright.

Where is he?

(snores)

Ralph?

Oh... Oh, no.

Just what I need.

- Lost something, fart face? - No.

Looks to me like you've lost something.

- Have you seen Ralph? - Rude Ralph?

- Yeah, Rude Ralph. - Why? Have you lost him?

Yes, I have.

(laughs)

Like, uh, what's so funny?

He's only gone and lost his best friend, hasn't he?

That's it! I've gone and lost my best friend.

So, where did you last see him, bogey brain?

Keep your voice down!

I don't want everyone to know.

Try and think, Henry.

I know it's hard, but...

I don't know. In my room, I think.

Ooh, I do love a good mystery!

Wait! He was holding something.

Ooh, a clue!

He was holding the Evil Guardian.

OK, I'm bored with this now.

Maybe the Evil Guardian has captured him,

and is even now holding him ransom in the Palace of the Dark.

Do you think so?

- No! - (snores)

(yawns) Huh?

But... what if it is true, though?

PETER: You will never escape my evil clutches.

(cackles)

RALPH: If you don't let me go now, I'll sneeze bogeys all over you.

(giggles)

Oh, this is fun!

I probably ought to go and find Henry. He'll be wondering where I've got to.

Are you hungry? Do you want a drink?

Well, I wouldn't mind a little something.

I'll be back in a roly mo.

Ooh, what am I going to tell Ralph's mum?

"Excuse me, Mrs Ralph. I let your son be captured by the Evil Guardian."

Oh, there you are, Henry.

It's nearly teatime. Did you find Ralph?

Not yet. I...

Oh, Peter, are you hungry?

Can I take this to my bedroom?

Of course you can, sweetie.

Don't eat too much, though. It's nearly teatime.

I won't.

Uh-uh! Oh, no, you don't! It's nearly teatime!

- Foam fungus! - What?

Foam fungus!

The Evil Guardian always leaves a trail of foam fungus wherever he's been.

Henry?

Milk or juice?

Milk. No, juice. Maybe both.

(giggles) You're funny.

Oh, he's still not there.

Ralph, where are you?

RALPH: Here, Henry.

- Ralph! - Henry!

There you are!

Uh, yeah. Here I am.

Where have you been?

He... I mean, she was captured by the Evil Guardian.

So, it's all true?

Oh, yes, I've been tortured terribly,

but Barbara's bogeys got me out of trouble.

Boys, I don't want to spoil your fun, but I have a question to ask Henry.

Yes, Mum?

What, may I ask, is this?

(whispers) Foam fungus.

It is all true.

No!

(indistinct chatter)

(tires screech)

The doors are locked. Can you believe it?

And it's only half-past nine.

(gasps) Half-past nine! It's half-past nine!

Miss Oddbod said one more late arrival,

and I'd be in double-detention 50 times squared and triple it!

Even Brian couldn't work that out, and he's a maths genius. (sighs)

And Dad said... Well, I'm not gonna tell you what Dad said.

(sighs deeply)

Looks like I'm in trouble again, big time.

No!

No!

(sighs) Maybe there's another way in.

Come on!

Shh!

(Miss Battle-Axe mutters)

(whimpers)

(snivels)

(sobs)

What are you looking at, Bert?

Uh, I dunno.

Please, miss!

- Oh, please, miss. - Please, miss.

Calm down, everyone.

Now, who was first?

Bert, I believe you were first. Now, what did you want to say to me?

Uh, I dunno.

Precisely.

Now, we shall continue with our lesson.

Phew! That was close.

(whistling)

Uh-oh! Someone's coming!

(whistles)

(clears throat) Allow me, fair lady.

Why, how kind of you, Mr Soggington.

(grunts) Oh!

Heavy one, this.

(clears throat) Might I ask, what's for lunch, fair lady?

Well, today it's stew, Mr Soggington.

And chips?

And chips, Mr Soggington.

(creaks)

Oh, we'd better make that double-chips, I reckon, Mr Soggington.

Ooh, why, I thank you, fair lady. (chuckles)

(whispers) I'm in.

Now I've just got to get to the classroom.

(dinner lady whistles)

(water runs)

(chopping)

(blender whirs)

(whistles)

- (water runs) - (yawns)

(groans)

Shh!

Take that, you dirty rat!

Morning, sir!

You horrid boy!

You... come back here!

(pants)

Whatever is going on, Mr Soggington?

(pants) It's Henry, miss.

I'm chasing him.

Does that mean that you've been running in the corridor, Mr Soggington?

Uh... yes, Miss Oddbod.

Sorry, Miss Oddbod.

I think you'd better step into my office.

(sighs)

(grunts)

Thank you, Miss Oddbod.

No, thank you, Mr Soggington.

Phew!

Mr Soggington?

Henry, did you say?

Yes, Miss Oddbod.

That's odd.

Oh, yes, Miss Oddbod.

A very odd child. Never quite sure.

No, no. I mean, that's odd that you were chasing Henry.

Miss Oddbod, I take my duties very seriously.

Yes, yes, I know you do, Mr Soggington.

But you see Henry isn't here today.

Isn't here, Miss Oddbod?

No, at least according to the register he's not here.

Oh, that's odd.

I think we are in danger of going round in circles, Mr Soggington.

Good day to you, Mr Soggington.

Oh, maybe I need a little lie-down.

Whoa!

Why, you, you... what do you think you're doing?

Having a little lie-down, sir.

(roars)

No!

(pants)

Whoa! Oops. Sorry.

(whispers) Come on. The coast's clear.

(gasps)

(growls)

Alors, mes petits pommes pommes.

Tippy toes to ze left.

(giggles)

Tippy toes to ze right.

Can I 'elp you?

Henry, what are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

- Not dancing. - How rude!

I know. (laughs)

And spinny, pommes pommes.

You are upsetting ze apple cart, Monsieur Soggington.

If you would kindly step inside

and take up your position 'ere, Mr Soggington.

Oh, uh, right. Of course, Madame Tutu.

Phew! That was close!

Well, don't just stand there.

After him!

Psst! Over here!

You horrid boy!

Whoa!

This is your stop, I believe, Henry.

Thank you, sir.

(bell rings)

Class dismissed!

(indistinct chatter)

- (whispers) Psst! Ralph! - Henry? What are you doing there?

Trying to get into school, that's what!

The doors were locked when I got here. I've been trying to get to class since.

Cool! But it's home time now.

What? But I've just got here.

Well, it's home time for the rest of us. You coming or what?

Can't. I'm marked absent on the register.

That means I'm not here today.

Yeah, I know.

I'm going to have find another way out.

Yeah, I know.

You seem to know everything.

I know that old Battle-Axe thinks that you were at the dentist today.

- (laughs) - Ahem.

RALPH: Or at least she did.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

I know I'm thinking what you're thinking.

(both scream)

(both scream)

Right! (mutters)