Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK? ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

- Is that what I think it is? - Yeah, it's a flick.

Cool!

Watch this.

Cool move! What's it called?

Flick the bogey!

(both laugh)

Just as I was saying. The most horrible of the lot.

- BOTH: Yes, sir. - Hang on a roly mo.

What's that you've got in your hand?

- Nothing, sir. - Do you think I was born yesterday?

Show me your other hand.

Oh, you mean this, sir? It's just a yoyo.

Just a yoyo? Just a yoyo?!

You know full well, my lad,

that Miss Oddbod has banned yoyos in the playground.

Um, has she?

Following a nasty incident with a bogey, if I'm not mistaken.

Which ended up on Tiddles's head.

(snorts) Um, did it?

Yes, it did.

So I'll be having that yoyo, Henry.

That's more like it.

Hold on a roly mo. What's this?

It's a... bogey!

No!

(snores)

Whoa... Like, what?

ALL: Whoa!

(pants)

- Why, you! - (children squeal)

Ah. Henry.

- Miss, I-- - Sit, Henry.

I saw that.

(pants)

Miss Oddbod...

Oh... good morning, Mr Soggington.

(pants)

Is something wrong, Mr Soggington?

Is that what I think it is?

Uh, no. No. It's not what you think it is, Miss Oddbod.

So, it's not a yoyo with a, ahem, a bogey on it?

- (gasps) - No, it definitely is not.

Is not what?

Uh, not what you said.

Oh, OK, then.

Well, must go. Can't keep my lovely class waiting.

Miss Oddbod, I...

Just get rid of it, Mr Soggington.

Yes, Miss Oddbod. Yeah.

Right away, Miss Oddbod.

Ow...

(chalk squeaks on board)

- (bell rings) - (class cheers)

- Back-up yoyo. - Cool.

Henry!

Uh, yes, Miss Battle-Axe?

- What's that behind your back? - Uh, nothing, Miss Battle-Axe.

- (gulps) - (blows whistle)

Reporting for duty, Miss Battle-Axe.

Suspect suspected of being in possession of a yoyo.

Ah, Henry, you know the rules.

No yoyos in the classroom.

So, I'll be having that, young man.

- But, sir... - Don't "but, sir" me. Hand it over.

You'll find this in the confiscation cupboard.

Only you won't.

Find it in the confiscation cupboard, that is.

Because Miss Oddbod's changed the lock and hidden the key,

so there's no way you'll ever find anything

in the confiscation cupboard ever again.

(cackles)

(coughs)

Ow...

Go and do whatever it is you horrid boys do.

What took you so long?

Confiscation. Again.

- Battle-Axe? - And Soggy Sid.

Oh, come on, you're the king of the confiscation cupboard.

- You'll get them back, easy. - Yeah, right.

(sobs)

(Mr Soggington mutters)

Never mind, Henry. There'll be more yoyos.

Not like those. They're flicks. And flicks...

BOTH: Flick the best bogeys.

(both sigh)

- Good day, Henry? - Not particularly.

- I've had a lovely day! - And I care because?

Don't be horrid, Henry.

I've got the best homework ever!

It's chemistry homework,

only it's not really because Miss Lovely gave it to us,

so, you see, it's not homework, really, at all.

Oops. Sorry, Henry.

Which one do you like best, Henry?

Neither. They both stink.

This one's called Eau de Loveliness.

- Really? - Yes.

And this one's called Eau de Pure Loveliness.

(sniffs)

Smells like Eau de Fartliness to me.

Fine, Henry. If that's what you want.

What?! It did smell like fartliness.

Try this for size.

(sniffs and coughs)

Oh! Ew! That's gross!

Precisely.

(coughs)

Eureka!

That's it!

The boy's a genius!

PETER: Go away.

Whoa! Scary!

Whatever you want, Henry, the answer's no.

How much?

How much what?

How much to make me some more of this?

Are you serious?

Yes. Deadly serious. I need at least three batches by tomorrow.

(whispers)

Deal.

I need a light-sensitive one and one which has a delayed reaction.

Can you do that?

What kind of clever chemist would I be if I couldn't do that?

Cool. Ooh, and have them delivered to my bedroom before school.

Your wish is my command, master.

(tablet beeps)

MUM: Henry!

Get out of bed right now!

(yawns)

(sniffs) Eugh!

Cool!

You might need this.

Oh, yeah! Thanks, worm.

Don't mention it.

Time for Operation Stink.

(chalk squeaks)

Ah, Henry. Sit.

I saw that, Henry.

Oh! That smells like...

Um, Miss Battle-Axe?

Can't you see I'm busy, Henry?

But you might like to see this, Miss Battle-Axe.

(gasps and blows whistle)

Hmm.

(Mr Soggington mutters)

There you are, Henry.

- Shh. - Listen, Henry, I know you're upset.

About what?

About your yoyo.

Nope. Not upset at all.

(mutters)

- Really? - Nope.

- Time brings all things to pass. - You what?

Watch and learn, my friend. Watch and learn.

(sniffs)

Not much of a hiding place.

Oh... (coughs)

Ooh! (coughs)

(Mr Soggington groans)

(both cough)

(both cough)

No!

Walk! Don't run!

You horrid boys.

(beeps)

It doesn't make sense that he didn't marry her,

but it doesn't make sense that she didn't marry him.

Yeah, marry him.

- You what, Margaret? - I agree with you, Margaret.

- Which bit? - All of it.

Excuse me, Margaret. Is that a mobile phone you've got there?

This? No, sir, it's not.

It looks like a mobile phone, Margaret.

Well, it's not, sir.

It's a mobile mirror, sir, just like Gurinder's. Huh?

Hmm, I wasn't born yesterday, you know.

It's a really cool mirror, sir.

Ooh.

Excuse me! Coming through!

Yeah, gangway, girls.

Alright, alright! No need to push!

Now, then, no pushing.

- Hear what sir said? No pushing. - Shall I show you how to open it, sir?

Oi!

- See, sir? - Oh, yes. Clever that is.

(sighs)

I said...

No!

(bell rings)

- Off you go. You'll be late. - (girls giggle)

(yawns)

Yes, Margaret? Can I help you?

It's all Henry's fault, miss.

Thank you, Margaret. Sit down now.

(yawns)

(snores)

Today, we are examining the little-known life of the lesser-spotted roach,

also known as the hunter beetle,

because of its ability to track down its prey.

I'm going to hunt you down, Henry.

The lesser-spotted roach also has the ability to appear normal and nice,

without being at all normal and nice.

Just like you, bogey brain.

What is it, Brian?

Uh, please, miss, I think you've drawn one too many legs.

Margaret, what are you doing?

Looking for something.

And what, may enquire, are you looking for?

What is it, Ralph?

Maybe she's looking for the lesser-spotted roach.

(all laugh)

(sobs)

That's enough, all of you!

Margaret, please look for whatever you're looking for

at the end of the lesson.

(sighs) Now, then, where was I?

Uh, please, miss, I think you've drawn one too many legs.

(indistinct chatter)

Guess who, Henry? "I'm going to hunt you down, Henry."

(both laugh)

- Where is it, Henry? - Where's what?

You know what I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

I am talking about my mobile phone.

Uh, I thought you said it was a mobile mirror, Margaret.

It was. I mean, it is.

I mean, oh, never mind, sir. Henry took it!

Is this true, Henry?

Did you take Margaret's mobile phone?

I mean, her mobile mirror?

No. I've never even seen her mobile mirror.

Yes you have, Henry.

You've been jealous of my mobile... mirror forever,

and now you've stolen it!

(all gasp)

Yes, that's right.

You pushed past me in the corridor,

and you took it right from under my very nose, and now...

And now... and now you're pretending that you didn't take it,

and you're trying to make me seem like the not-normal and nice one,

when everyone knows that it's really you who's not normal and nice.

Face it, Henry, there's nowhere you can run to!

Nowhere to hide!

Come on, Henry. Let's go.

If all else fails, run!

I was born to run!

- Morning, Henry. - Morning, Dad.

- You're late, Henry. - I know, Dad.

I'll give you a lift into school.

- Oh, thanks, Dad. - Just got to find my tie.

That means I've got time for another bowl of cereal.

(slurps and chomps)

Huh?

"Is this boy a criminal?"

What?

"This boy might look normal and nice on the outside,

but inside he's far from normal and far from nice."

"So, lock up your mobile phones, because Henry's here and he's horrible."

They can't even get my name right!

Who wrote this stuff?

"Written by Bill, son of Bob."

"Who, by the way, owns this paper."

And who also just happens to be my dad's boss!

That's so not fair!

- Ready, Henry? - Ready, Dad.

- How do I look? - Um, good, Dad.

Good. I mean, good that I look good.

Today I have my annual review at work.

(gulps) Your annual review?

Yes, you know, when Bossy Bob gives me a pay rise. If I'm lucky.

So, I'm asking myself, do I feel lucky? And I do!

(gulps) That's great, Dad.

(camera shutter clicks)

DAD: Looks like the paparazzi are waiting for you, Henry.

Bye, Dad.

(children boo)

Horrible Henry, have anything to say?

- Well, I'm not horrible, for a start. - That's not what we've been told.

I'm horrid, and that's not the same thing.

Look, whatever has been said about me is not true.

That's not what she says.

But she's not telling the truth.

Well, she says it's the truth.

But why do you believe her and not me?

It makes a better story.

It makes a better story? But this is my life.

Well, life's tough, kid. Specially when you've got an enemy like her.

My office now, Henry.

Henry, why did you take Margaret's mobile mirror?

I didn't take it, Miss Oddbod.

I didn't even borrow it.

Not even accidentally.

MARGARET: Down with Horrible Henry!

SUSAN: Yeah, Horrible Henry.

CROWD: Down with Horrible Henry! Down with Horrible Henry!

- Down with Horrible Henry! - (sighs)

You're going to have to stay in detention today, Henry.

No buts, Henry. It's for the best.

(sighs)

Until we can get to the bottom of all this.

Do you have any idea what a day in detention is like?

- (purrs) - (TV turns on)

REPORTER: And we bring you another broadcast.

BB Silver, you have actually met the boy they're calling Horrible Henry.

It's Horrid Henry!

And I'm not really horrid. At least not in the way you think I am.

Well, I've met him and all I can say

is that he might seem normal and nice, but he isn't really.

Normal and nice, that is.

- You heard it here first. - (TV turns off)

- Hey, Henry. - Hey, Dad. Did you get your pay rise?

Not this time, Henry.

Something to do with someone stealing something.

Actually, I couldn't quite work out what Bob was talking about.

Enough is enough!

Yes?

- I've just seen the news. - Good interview, wasn't it?

Not for me!

Why did you get all those people to say all those bad things about me?

Because they're true!

But they're not true. You just think they're true.

Same thing. Your truth is different to my truth, Henry.

Too right!

But unfortunately for you, Henry, everyone believes my truth.

Now, where's my mobile?

(gasps)

Oh, like, here it is, Margaret.

(yells) You what?

You had it all the time?

Yeah, like, well, all the time what?

(yawns)

You can go now, Henry.

Aren't you even going to say you're sorry?

My dad says being a princess means never having to say you're sorry.

Right. I'll deal with it, then, shall I?

(keypad beeps)

Hello? Is that the editor of the Ashton Argos?

- PETER: Oh, Henry, you're in the paper! - HENRY: I know!

"Henry saves the day."

"Henry, a model pupil of Ashton Primary, saved the day

when he uncovered an injustice

and revealed that you can't always believe everything you read,

especially when you are up against an opponent

who seems dead set on destroying you, no matter what."

I guess it's true what they say.

One man's truth is another man's lie.

So, go carefully today, my friend,

and may the truth be with you!