Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK? ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

(chatter)

Did you see Best Song Ever last night, Henry?

I wouldn't miss it for anything.

- Best song ever, Graham? - You what?

HENRY: Everyone knows the best song ever is Thrash Hornets. That song rules!

Nah! Best song ever is Eggs on the Brain.

That song rocks!

So, Bert, Thrash Hornets or Eggs on the Brain?

I dunno.

- Thrash Hornets or Eggs on the Brain? - They're both rubbish.

Uh... Eggs on the Brain?

No, wait. Um... Thrash Hornets?

Yes!

Ooh... Uh, sorry.

Greetings, loyal subject.

Greetings, Lord High Majesty.

Thrash Hornets or Eggs on the Brain, Al?

Well... let me see.

Thrash Hornets has the best guitar solo.

Yes!

And Eggs on the Brain has the best keyboard solo.

(all laugh)

Yes...

Well, I'm glad to see someone's in a good mood this morning.

Yes, Miss Battle-Axe.

Perhaps you would like to share your good mood with the rest of us, Henry.

Uh, no, Miss Battle-Axe.

Did you just say no to me, Henry?

(gulps) Uh, no, Miss Battle-Axe.

I mean, well, yes, Miss Battle-Axe. But...

- You see, Miss Battle-Axe... - Sit.

Uh, yes, Miss Battle-Axe.

Perhaps someone else would like to share the reason

for Henry's good mood with us.

Oh, yes, miss. They were arguing, miss.

Really, Margaret?

About which was the best song ever.

Ah, I see. Thank you, Margaret.

And then...

I said thank you, Margaret.

And which song, in your opinion, is the best song ever, Henry?

Um... Thrash Hornets.

Is the wrong answer, Henry.

There are many songs in this world of ours.

Some are good, and some not so good.

(bagpipes squeak)

(giggles)

I am going to play you a selection of the songs,

which I consider to be the best.

And... one, two, three, four...

(bagpipes drone)

No!

(bagpipes drone)

(bagpipes squeal)

Here's another one, especially for you, Henry.

Ha'way!

(plays marching song)

(rings)

(all cheer)

Oh, yes. Class dismissed.

Not you, Henry.

This is a song which I personally think is the best ever.

And I'm going to play it, just for you.

- (inhales) - (plays jig)

(giggles) Looks like Henry's enjoying himself!

Let me through, Margaret. He might need our help.

Oh, I reckon Henry can look after himself.

I said let me through.

(bagpipes continue)

Help me!

(sighs)

Oh, yes, Henry's really enjoying himself.

Ooh, ouch, that looks painful.

Oh! I can't look!

Now, then, what's going on here?

Oh, is that a bagpipe I hear before me?

Yes, sir. Henry's having his own private lesson.

Is he now? Ooh.

Magnificent!

Bravo, Boudicca! Bravo!

Oh, Sidmouth, I didn't realize you were there.

How could I resist the call of the bagpipes, Boudicca?

(giggles)

How indeed, Sidmouth.

How indeed.

I'll get my banjo, shall I?

Sit down, the rest of you.

And now it's time for round two.

(plays lively tune)

(plays similar tune)

I can't bear it!

- Like I said, Henry... - Yeah, I know. It's all my fault.

(both stop playing)

(all snore)

You can go now, Sidmouth. I mean, Mr Soggington.

Oh... yes, of course.

Right away, Boud... Uh, I mean, Miss Battle-Axe.

(all giggle)

Please, miss...

What is it, Brian?

Do we have homework?

Ah, yes. Homework.

- Henry? - Yes, Mum?

- Are you alright? - Yes, Mum.

- Where are you going? - I have homework.

- Homework? Henry? - Yes, Mum?

Are you sure you're alright?

Homework. Well, that's good.

(sighs)

Oh, Fang, what am I gonna do?

I've got homework.

Oh, Fang, you just don't understand!

(stone clinks against window)

Go away! I'm busy!

I hope you're busy doing your homework.

I don't do homework. You know that.

Ooh-ee, listen to him. He doesn't do homework.

Well, you do this time, Henry.

Says who, slugsnot?

Says everyone.

The people are with me, Henry.

(gulps) You too, Ralph.

- Well? - Well, what?

- Have you got it? - Have you got it?

I've got it.

Come on, come on. We haven't got all day.

Or perhaps we have.

Yesterday I gave you homework.

ALL: Yes, Miss Battle-Axe.

Homework that was simple enough for even you, Henry, to do.

ALL: Yes, miss.

- And now, I have to ask the question. - (all gasp)

Have you done your homework, Henry?

Even Bert has brought in an instrument, haven't you, Bert?

I dunno.

I'm sure I don't have to remind you, Henry,

what the consequences are if you have not done your homework.

(bagpipes play)

Wait!

I did my homework!

What?

One, two, three, four!

(electric guitar plays)

Best song ever!

HENRY: Greetings, loyal Purple Hand Gang members.

I bet you're wondering why we're in the dark.

RALPH: Yeah, Henry, why are we in the dark?

HENRY: All the best music videos start in the dark.

- AL: Do they? - BERT: I dunno.

- HENRY: They do. - AL: Right, then.

RALPH: Is that what we're doing? Making a music video?

HENRY: Yeah. We're making a music video.

AL: Oh, right, then.

- PETER: Henry, can I...? - HENRY: No!

PETER: Mum!

AL: So, what are we gonna do now, Henry?

HENRY: We're gonna make a music video.

- AL: Oh, right, then. - RALPH: Count us in, then, Henry?

- PETER: Henry, can I...? - HENRY: N-O spells no, worm!

PETER: Mum!

MUM: Don't be horrid, Henry.

- HENRY: Ready? - BERT: I dunno.

HENRY: One, two, three, four...

Cut! I said cut!

I don't think you say "cut" when you want someone to stop playing music.

You say "cut" when you're making a music video,

and that is what we're doing.

You're making the video, Henry. We're playing music. So you need to say...

Alright, alright.

He's right, Henry. I think you should say "stop."

Do you, Al?

- Bert, what do you think I should say? - I dunno.

Right. Well, you've all stopped now, so...

There. That's better.

Everyone ready?

Then cue clapperboard.

Oh, that's me. Right, here I go.

Take one.

HENRY: Yes, thank you, Andrew.

You can go now, Andrew.

Oh, yes, of course.

And action!

Henry?

Yes, what is it now, Al?

I don't think they can see us very well.

Well, of course, they can't see us very well.

There's paper in front of the camera.

Why is there a piece of paper in front of the camera, Henry?

(sighs) It's called a special effect.

It's supposed to make the video more interesting.

Hmm. I see what you mean, Henry. Very interesting.

Can't see a thing, Henry.

Shall we get on with the video?

Oh... yes, me again.

Take two. Ouch!

One, two, three, four!

What is it now, Ralph?

Has this song got a name?

Of course it's got a name! It's called The Song.

The Song. That's what this song is called?

Yeah. It's called The Song.

Is that a problem?

Well, it's not a proper name, is it?

Of course, it's a proper name!

No, it's not.

It's not a proper name like Thrash Hornets or Eggs on the Brain.

Or Peas in a Pod.

Yeah, Peas in a Pod. That's a great song.

So is this. The Song. A great song.

Yeah, but it needs a proper name.

It's got a proper name. It's called The Song.

He's got a point.

- Mum says I can be in your video. - Does she now?

Yes, and she says if you say, "Go away, smelly nappy baby,"

then she'll come in here and make everyone go away,

and then there won't be any video at all.

- Really? - Yes. So?

You can be in my video.

Whoopee!

Smelly nappy baby.

(both laugh)

You can do the clapperboard.

- Oh. - Ooh, goody!

I'll do the best clapperboard ever, Henry! Really I will.

I know you will.

Poopy pants.

Andrew, give the worm...

I mean, give Peter the clapperboard.

- But... - No buts. The clapperboard, please.

(sobs)

I'm not in the video anymore.

Why does everyone want to be in my video?

Here. You can hold the special effect.

The Song. Take three.

Action!

What do you want, bogey brain?

You're making a music video, aren't you?

No! Now, go away, slugsnot.

- Bert, are you making a music video? - BERT: I dunno.

See, he said no.

He said, "I dunno," and that means yes.

Well, I said no and that means no.

(growls) I don't believe you, Henry!

If you're making a music video, then I wanna be in it. I demand to be in it.

(Margaret groans)

Where were we?

The Song. Take four. Action!

(doorbell rings)

MARGARET: And I said to him, and then he said to me--

MUM: Come in, dear.

(sighs)

- Henry? - What?

Margaret's here, and she seems a little upset.

- So what? - Don't be horrid, Henry!

Henry, why are you playing in the dark?

Yeah, Henry, why are you playing in the dark?

Because we didn't want you to see us making a music video.

Oops. Sorry, Henry.

I'm going to be in your music video, whether you like it or not, Henry.

(sobs)

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Take this.

Take five.

Ooh, are you making a music video?

Trying to.

- Can I be in it? - (purrs)

- Well... - (meows)

Fluffy Wuffy wants to be in the music video, too, don't you, Fluffy Wuffy?

I give up. You can all be in my music video.

Ooh, how exciting!

You can practice your dance steps with me and Fluffy Wuffy, if you like, Mum.

- (laughs) - (doorbell rings)

See who that is, will you, Henry?

Can you believe this?

(doorbell rings)

HENRY: Alright, alright. I'm coming.

I heard you were making a music video, Henry.

Yes. Come on in.

Ooh! (giggles)

- Oh, hello, Henry. - Hello, Dad.

- Had a busy day? - You could say so.

WOMAN: Henrietta!

Heard you were making a music video, Henrietta.

(shouts) Anyone else want to be in my music video?

- (chattering) - (gasps)

(horn honks)

- (pants) - HENRY: Oh, no, you don't.

Horrid boy.

(indistinct chatter)

Ready, boys?

As we'll ever be, Henry!

Action!

One, two, three, four!

(plays rock riff)

(cheering)

♪ When the whole world's gone mad And school's just as bad ♪

♪ When there's a bogey brain next door ♪

♪ When you're fed up of your brother Being nagged at by your mother ♪

♪ And homework's piling up on the floor ♪

♪ When there are teachers all around But your friends just can't be found ♪

♪ And you're up to your neck in goo ♪

♪ When life's full of girls And little boys with curls ♪

♪ And they're coming after you ♪

♪ You need a song For when things go wrong ♪

♪ For when life's not fair And you're going nowhere ♪

♪ A song you can sing To show that you're king ♪

♪ To show you don't care And you're going somewhere ♪

♪ When there's a cat sat on your head And you're told to go to bed ♪

♪ And "don't be horrid" is all you hear ♪

♪ You feel like you've been had Being yelled at by your dad ♪

♪ No TV for a week, a month, a year ♪

♪ You need a song For when things go wrong ♪

♪ For when life's not fair And you're going nowhere ♪

♪ A song you can sing To show that you're king ♪

♪ To show you don't care And you're going somewhere ♪

♪ You need a song For when things go wrong ♪

♪ For when life's not fair And you're going nowhere ♪

♪ A song you can sing To show that you're king ♪

♪ To show you don't care And you're going somewhere ♪

(all cheer)

Good song, Henry. What's it called?

It's called The Song.

No, it's not. It's called My Song.

That's what it's called. My Song.

(both laugh)

Yes!

Ooh...

Henry, you forgot to switch the camera on.

No!