Original subtitles

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face and brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king, I'll do my thing ♪

♪ Then my life would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang rules, OK ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

(caws)

(whistles)

- (slurps) - Hey.

That's not my shadow.

(growls and hisses)

(slurps)

(Fang snores)

No, no! Don't give it to her!

Alright. Take it. Just don't hurt me, please.

(slurps)

No!

No!

(snores)

(whistles)

(gasps)

Wake up, Fang! It's Saturday!

(gasps)

(yawns) Oh... morning, Henry.

HENRY: Morning, Dad.

- Henry! - Morning, Mum!

- Henry... - Night, Mum.

(yawns)

- Night, Dad. - Oh, night, Henry.

Mission accomplished! (laughs)

(groans)

(both snore)

MUM: Henry!

Henry!

Henry!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Henry snores)

Wake up, Henry!

(groans)

(gasps)

Hey, that's mine.

Actually, technically, it's mine. I paid for it.

No, it's not! I paid for it out of my pocket money.

- Oh. - Yes. Oh.

If I was feeling really mean, I'd say what pocket money?

- What pocket money, Mum? - MUM: Thank you, Peter.

Yeah, thanks, worm.

You're welcome!

Oh, come on, Mum. It's Saturday.

Yes, it is. And what are Saturdays for?

Reading my Gross Class Zero comic?

What else?

(sighs) Tidying my room.

Checking the toilet rolls. And sorting out the dirty laundry.

That's right, Henry. Well remembered.

Hey, what about my comic?

Chores first, comic later.

What did I do to deserve this?

(snores)

(snores)

- PETER: Henry... - (groans)

Henry, wake up.

Go away, smelly nappy baby!

Henry, Mum says...

Mum says you're a smelly nappy baby, Peter!

Mum says if you don't...

If I don't what?

If you don't get up right now, and do your chores, then...

Then what?

Then she's going to put your Gross Class Zero comic into the bin.

(yells) It's not fa-a-a-a-a-air!

- I've told Henry. - I know, sweetie pie.

(Henry continues to yell)

(continues to yell)

Oh, well, better get on with it.

Now, what did Mum say I had to do?

(sighs)

Oh, yeah, tidy my room.

Good job, Henry!

- I'll be right back. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mum, can I read you a story from my Number Gnomes Know How comic?

Of course you can, honey bunny.

Dad, would you like to hear the story, too?

Oh, yes, of course I would, Peter.

HENRY: Morning, everyone!

Afternoon, Henry.

I've tidied my room.

- And? - And now I'm going to read my comic.

And, Henry?

You've still got the toilet rolls to do.

Thanks for nothing, worm.

- (wails) - Henry!

What?

Um, I'll go and do the toilet rolls, shall I?

I would if I were you, Henry.

So, this story is called Number Nine Number Gnome's Revenge.

Toilet rolls done!

"And so Number Gnome number nine decided

that he was going to teach Number Gnome number six a lesson."

- (snores) - Dad, are you enjoying my story?

(clears throat) Oh, of course, Peter. Very much.

Mum, are you enjoying my story?

Of course, I am, my lovely little lambkin.

(giggles)

"But Number Gnome number three didn't think this was a good idea,

so he went to find Number Gnome number two."

"'This doesn't really add up, old chap, does it?'"

(laughs)

Oh, do you get the joke? "This doesn't add up."

(giggles) It's a Number Gnome joke.

- Henry! - Henry.

Don't be horrid, Henry!

- But I've done the toilet rolls. - (sighs)

Well, I suppose two out of three ain't bad.

So, now I'm going to read my comic.

Not so fast, Henry.

Got it, Mum!

- He's fast. - Thank you, Peter.

It's nearly time for your yoga class. Go and get your mat.

Ooh, yogalicious!

I'll just tidy my comic away, and then I'll be right down.

There's a good boy.

(hums)

- MUM: And Henry? - I know, I know. Dirty laundry.

(Peter hums)

- Great! - (Peter giggles)

- Oops. - Yeah, oops.

Double-oops.

(roars)

(squeals)

Huh, the Number Gnomes won't help you now!

But maybe they can help me.

MUM: Peter, whatever are you doing up there?

Oh, uh...

Oh. Here, let me tidy that away for you.

Well...

Here's your yogalicious yoga mat.

Come on, Peter. We're going to be late.

I'll look after it for you.

- MUM: And, Henry? - Yes, Mum?

No funny business, alright?

No, Mum. Of course not.

Hmm.

Hmm, Mum was right. No funny business in there.

How can the worm read that stuff?

DAD: Henry? What are you doing up there?

Uh... just tidying up the dirty laundry.

Ah! All done!

Dad, can I...?

(sighs) Yes.

- Thanks, Dad. - No problem, Henry.

(snores)

There's just one thing wrong with this comic.

- Eh? - It's just not big enough.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MUM: We're home!

Where's my Number Gnome comic?

Here.

- Not so fast, worm. - What do you mean, Henry?

There's something I want in return.

I don't understand.

- You've got your comic. - Indeed, I have, Peter.

But what about next week?

What about next week?

Next week's another... week.

Mum could kidnap my comic again next week.

I suppose she could.

Unless someone else has already collected my comic.

And that someone could be...

You. Precisely.

I'm not doing it, Henry.

"'Isn't Peter such a smelly nappy baby?' said Number Gnome number 954."

"'He is,' said Number Gnome..."

Stop! I'll do it!

- Promise? - Yes.

Promise on the Best Boys Book of Delightful Deeds ?

- Yes. - Enjoy.

PETER: Henry! There's no loo paper!

(birds chirp)

(gentle jazz music on radio)

(changes channel)

- Hey, I was listening to that! - (loud rock music)

Not anymore you're not.

Thrash, thrash, thrash the hornets!

Trash, trash, trash the hornets!

- It's the other way round, Henry. - Huh?

The words are the other way round.

It's "trash, trash, trash the hornets,"

then "thrash, thrash, thrash the hornets."

Who asked you?

Do you know where my mobile phone is, Henry?

- No. - (laughs)

What's so funny?

You don't know anything this morning, do you?

Yes, I do. I know lots of things.

MAN: And that was the ever-popular Killer Boy Rats with "Thrash Hornets".

I know I'm gonna finish off the cereal! (laughs)

(changes channel)

WOMAN: And if you want to win tickets, you know what you've got to do,

all you know-it-alls out there.

Mum!

Hang on a minute. Did she say you could win tickets to the Killer Boy Rats?

Well, you should know, Henry.

And what's that meant to mean?

- (turns volume up) - (turns volume down)

WOMAN: Two tickets to see your most favorite band ever.

Well, you know everything, don't you, Henry?

I know I'm gonna win those tickets.

- (turns radio off) - Hey, I was listening to that!

Found it.

But, Mum...

N-O spells no, Henry.

(turns radio on)

WOMAN: And it's goodbye from us.

MUM: Henry, you'll be late for school.

PETER: Something else you obviously don't know, Henry.

What about my breakfast?

You should know the answer to that, too.

(groans)

(bell rings)

So all I've got to do is get my wormy worm little brother

to teach me a few things.

And then those tickets will be mine!

That's what you think, Henry.

Those tickets are mine!

(cackles)

Come on, Henry. You should know the answer to that question.

Why?

Because it's my most favorite worm ever.

Why can't I just call it a bogey beetle?

Because it isn't a bogey beetle. It's a bogusum beetlearius.

Huh, like you're a bogusum wormicus! (laughs)

Henry, if you're going to be horrid, you can...

Don't be horrid, Henry. Oh, how nice.

Peter, are you sharing your knowledge with Henry?

I was, but we're finished for the day.

What? We've only just begun.

Oh, come on, Peter. Tell me more about the bogey beetleicious.

It's the bogusum beetlearius, Henry.

I've told you a thousand times, and you still can't get it right.

Never mind, sweetie hon.

Want to help me make those delicious fairy cakes you love?

Ooh, yes, please!

Um, Peter, could I...?

- Borrow one of my books? - Well, yes.

As long as you put it back in exactly the right place. They're in--

Yeah, yeah, I know. They're in alphabetical order.

No, actually. SCACS.

That stands for Size Color Alphabetical Classification System.

(groans) I might have guessed.

It's the new library classification system.

Yeah, I might have guessed that, too.

It's all the rage with libraries nowadays!

Not a lot of people know that.

Hey, Henry! Coming out to play?

Can't. I'm learning.

Grafting Henry.

There are other ways to learn, you know, Henry.

Uh... Brian!

Eureka!

That's it!

Brainy Brian!

How would you like to be the deputy leader of the Purple Hand Gang, Brian?

Hands off, slugsnot. He's mine.

What do you mean?

I mean I got to him first.

He belongs to me,

so don't even think about trying to persuade him otherwise.

Is this true, Brian?

Yes. She gave me her old mobile phone.

Oh.

(indistinct chatter)

(whispers) It's the website we'll be using.

(doorbell rings)

Greetings, Lord...

- What's all this about, Henry? - The competition.

But I thought you weren't doing the competition anymore,

because Margaret's got Brainy Brian on her side.

I'm not doing it.

Oh, right, then. Let's go and play pirates, then, shall we?

- You're doing it. - Me? But I don't know anything.

No, but I do. And anything I don't know, we can find out here.

Oh, I see. I think.

WOMAN: Time to get your fingers on the buttons.

Phone, phone! Where's the phone?

Counting down.

From now.

Quick! Give me your mobile.

Confiscated, remember?

Oh, yeah. Then we've got to find the phone.

Five...

Can I help?

- Look in the fridge. - The fridge?

Don't ask. Just go and look.

Four...

Three...

Oh, hello, Ralph.

Two...

Hello. Just fancied a stick of celery.

What a good boy.

One! Press those buttons now!

(keypad beeps)

(phone rings)

Hello, lucky caller. Who have we here?

(whispers) Go on! Speak!

Come on now. Don't be shy, caller. Tell us your name.

(deep voice) Um, my name is Clever Clive.

Well, hello there, Clever Clive.

- Welcome to the show. - (deep voice) Uh, thank you.

And welcome, second caller.

Tell us your name, second caller.

My name is Margaret Millicent Maudita Smythe.

WOMAN: Welcome Margaret Millicent Maudita Smythe.

You're head to head with Clever Clive.

- It's a head-to-head? - So?

You didn't tell me it was a head-to-head!

I don't tell you lots of things, Ralph. Get on with it.

WOMAN: So, callers, here are your questions.

(gasps)

WOMAN: And just to recap, Clever Clive and Margaret... Maud...

Ooh, this is so exciting!

MARGARET: Margaret Millicent Maudita Smythe.

WOMAN: They're neck and neck. What do you say to that, Clever Clive?

RALPH AS HIMSELF: Cool.

(deep voice) I mean, cool.

Hang on a minute. That sounds like...

WOMAN: Time for a tiebreak.

- Henry! - Go away, worm!

You're cheating!

No, we're not. We're getting a little help from our friends.

Your friends at askusanything- andwewilltellyounolies.com.

That's cheating, Henry.

WOMAN: Hello, callers. Are you ready for the tiebreak?

No!

Did you say no, Clever Clive?

(deep voice) No. I mean, yes, ready for the tiebreak.

Good. Then if you're sitting comfortably...

No!

...then I'll begin.

Shh, Henry! I can't hear anything!

Oh, might as well forget it, Ralph.

What do the letters...

I'm never gonna know the answer.

...SC...

I never know anything.

..ACS stand for?

Hey, I know this one!

I know the answer!

Anyone know the answer?

We do! Um, I mean I do.

So do we.

(deep voice) So do we. I mean, I.

OK, then. You both know how the tiebreaker works.

I count down from three, and the first correct answer wins.

Three...

Well, go on, then. What's the answer?

It's the bogusum... No, that begins with B.

Un, oh...

Two...

Come on, Henry.

And... one!

Come on! Type faster!

It's the Size Color... (clears throat)

(deep voice) The Size Color Alphabetical Classification System.

Not a lot of people know that.

We did! Please, miss, we did!

I'm sorry, Margaret whatever your name is.

I declare Clever Clive to be the winner.

What do you say to that, Clever Clive?

Na-na-ne-na-na!

Henry? Is that you, Henry?

Did you hear that, Henry? We won!

We won?

WOMAN: And two Number Gnome tickets will be in the post tomorrow

for you and your lucky Number Gnome partner!

Did she just say two Number Gnome tickets?

Yes. She did.

Don't worry, Henry.

You can be my Number Gnome partner,

and we'll have some real Number Gnome fun together!

Mum, we won!

BOTH: No!