Original subtitles

[theme song playing]

♪ It's not easy being me ♪

♪ "Wash your face And brush your hair" ♪

♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪

♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪

♪ And then my life Would be so sweet ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah Nah, nah, ney ♪

♪ The Purple Hand Gang Rules, okay ♪

♪ It's so easy being me ♪

♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪

[birds chirping]

Good morning, Dad.

Good morning, Peter.

And how are you today?

Very well, thank you, Dad.

So, Peter, what have you got lined up for today, hmm?

Ooh, the Best Boys are coming over.

We're going to have a sing-song practice ready for Monday.

Miss Lovely asked us to perform for the school board.

Really? Peter I'm so proud of you. That's wonderful.

[thudding across the room]

-Henry's up. -Yep, Henry's up.

[gloomily] Or should I say Henry's down?

[laughing]

Dad? I need a mobile phone.

Good morning, Henry. And how are you, Henry?

And what are you planning to today, Henry?

Get a mobile phone.

Henry, you're not getting a mobile phone.

Why not? Everyone else has got one.

-Everyone else... who? -Well, now let me see.

There's Rude Ralph, eh, Gorgeous Gurinder and Moody Margaret.

Of course, old bogey brain's got three.

And then, there's Mischievous Mike.

He's got one on his skateboard.

And Kind Kelly, she lent me hers once.

And... Well, everyone really. Like I said.

Henry, you're not getting a mobile phone.

Even Vicious Vicky's got one.

Who's Vicious Vicky?

Sour Susan's little sister.

Sour Susan?

I don't know where you get these ideas from.

So can I get one, Dad?

[sighing]

-Morning, Henry. -Morning, Mum.

Can I get a mobile phone?

Oh, I don't see why not.

[excitedly] Yes!

As long as you pay for it out of your pocket money.

[screams] No!

[screams] No!

Don't be horrid, Henry.

This is for you, sugar plum.

It's from Great-Aunt Greta, I think.

Ooh, goody.

She promised to send me the bumper edition of Number Gnomes Nonsense.

It's on high-def DVD with extra gnomey bits.

Oh, oh, how exciting.

Can I watch it with the Best Boys when they get here?

Of course, you can, sweetie pie.

You can watch it while I'm getting my hair done.

Oh, you really are my very best boy.

[doorbell ringing]

Oh, that will be the Best Boys now.

♪ Best boys always Do their best ♪

♪ Best boys always Pass the test ♪

I so need a mobile phone.

Dad, can I get a mobile phone today?

No, Henry.

This isn't going to be easy.

-Ready? -[all] Ready.

[hip-hop music playing]

Yo, what's up, dudey dudes?

Ah, this isn't the bumper edition of Number Gnomes Nonsense.

No, Peter, it isn't.

I'm the man, the man that can.

And if your name is Sam, You're the man that can.

He's talking to you, Sam.

I know.

[laughing]

Yo, your name is Gordon,

you don't wanna be rich with boredom.

[all laughing]

Listen up, Ted, wanna bounce on your bed?

Peter, Peter, Peter, could you be any neater.

He's talking to us.

He's talking to all of us.

Who the man that can?

I am the man that can.

You the man that can.

Yes, yes. I'm the man that can.

I'm the man that can.

Yes, I am the man that can.

I want to be the man that can, too.

We the man that can.

[all] We the man that can.

Yeah, we the man that can.

[all] Yeah, we the man that can.

You see, if I had a mobile phone,

I could call you up at work and ask how your day is going.

No, Henry, you couldn't because you'd be at school,

and mobile phones are not allowed at school.

Oh, right. Well, then...

Are you planning to do anything with that tea-towel?

Hmm, do you mean this thing?

[sighing] Yes.

That's a tea-towel and you use it to do the drying up.

Well isn't that what dishwashers do?

Well, yes, but today we're doing it the old fashioned way.

You see, that's my point, Dad.

In your day, in old fashioned times,

nobody had mobile phones.

But nowadays everyone has them.

Henry, tea-towel, now.

Oh, right.

If I do the drying-up for you,

could I have the mobile phone?

[yelling] No!

[all] ♪ Yo, we the man We the man that can ♪

♪ And we say, yo, We say yo to go ♪

♪ Ain't nobody or nothing Gonna tell us, no ♪

♪ 'Cause we the man, We the man that can ♪

But what's the problem, Dad?

What's the problem, Henry?

Well, you just don't understand the youth of today.

I have no idea what you're talking about, Henry.

But you're still not getting a mobile phone.

Oh. no, I'm not talking about a mobile phone anymore.

I'm talking about how it was in your day.

Uh, how it was in my day?

Yeah, 'cause you didn't have mobile phones,

you had to wait to talk to each other, right?

[laughing] Too, right, we did.

And if we couldn't wait, we called each other up on the telephone.

And if it was engaged, we had to wait a bit and then we'd call again.

Really?

So, you didn't have Caller ID then?

Caller ID?

What's Caller ID?

Well, Caller ID is...

[all] ♪ Yo, we the man We the man that can ♪

♪ And we say, yo, We say yo to go ♪

That doesn't sound like the Number Gnomes.

[singing continues]

So Caller ID is when--

-Dad? -Excuse me, worm. I'm talking.

Dad, can I use mum's mobile phone?

Hmm, yes, of course you can, Peter.

Just put it back where you found it.

-[shockingly] What? -Thanks, Dad.

[doorbell ringing]

Delivery for Pumping Peter.

Pumping Peter?

Peter, there's a delivery here for you.

Ooh, that was quick.

[all excitedly] Yeah!

So as I was saying...

Oh, thank you, Henry.

Caller ID means that if someone calls you,

and you're on the phone already

[boy] Yo, Fluffy.

♪ Yo, the cat, cat can ♪

[Fluffy purring]

Just put it here, Dad.

But we need to tidy all this up.

It's fine, Dad.

So as well as not having Caller ID,

you didn't have texting either, did you?

[sighing] Well, no.

Oops. Sorry, Henry.

Oh, that's okay.

I feel sorry for you, really.

-What do you mean? -Well, no tweeting, no wobbling or kibbling.

How do you know about all these things, Henry?

Oh, I just do.

So what do you reckon,

can I get a mobile phone today?

Well, um...

That doesn't sound like the Number Gnomes.

[mimicking] Number Gnomes, Shnumber Gnomes.

The really important question is can I have a mobile phone?

Just a little one.

Dad?

[all] ♪ We can, We the man ♪

♪ We the man ♪

♪ Yo, you the man ♪

♪ The man in the house ♪

Where's Peter? What have you done with him?

Behold the King of Bling.

[disc scratches rhythmically]

[Dad gasping]

Peter?

Best Boys are the man.

♪ Best Boys are the man The King of the Bling ♪

♪ Best Boys are the man They just wanna sing ♪

♪ Best Boys are the man Put 'em to the test ♪

♪ Best Boys are the man The best of the best ♪

♪ He the man ♪

♪ The King of the Bling ♪

Where did you get this?

Great-Aunt Greta sent it to me.

But it's for teenagers. Turn it off now.

I can't. I'm having too much fun.

[laughing]

Turn it off now, Peter.

No. DJ B says,

"Yo, d'ya know, no go, a'ight."

I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.

Yo, dad, chill.

No, I will not chill.

You're supposed to be practising for the school board on Monday.

And what's that you're wearing?

It's a bling ring.

Do you like it?

A bling ring?

Where did you get this stuff from anyway?

Oh, from the DJ B store.

I ordered it on mum's mobile phone.

DJ B showed me how too.

[angrily] You used mum's mobile phone?

[frantically] You said I could.

[groans angrily] Grrr!

Right, that's it, Peter.

No TV for a whole week.

[crying]

[Best Boys crying]

But, Dad, about my mobile phone.

[angrily] N-O spells 'No', Henry!

Thanks, worm.

I did say, "It wouldn't be easy."

I could do without the Caller ID!

[Margaret] You see, Miss.

It all started with a banana.

Tell me more, Margaret.

[children yelling]

[Margaret] Henry was being his usual horrid self.

[indistinct dialogue]

Oy, you know the rules, you horrid lot.

No yo-yos in the playground.

I'll have that, young man.

Come on now. Hand it over.

-But, Sir... -Don't you, "But, Sir", me.

You'll find this in the confiscation cupboard.

Or rather, you won't find it in the confiscation cupboard.

'Cause Miss Oddbod's changed the lock and hidden the key.

So there's no way you'll ever find anything ever again

in the confiscation cupboard.

[evil laughter] Haha!

[screams] No!

Of course being Henry,

that didn't stop him from being horrid the rest of the day.

[children chattering]

So let me guess who hasn't brought their homework in today.

What will it be today, Henry?

The cat ate my homework?

Uh, no, Miss. Fluffy's on a diet.

[children giggling]

[yelling] Silence!

Not the cat then.

How about the rat then?

Fang is not a rat, he's a hamster.

Yeah, a big fat hamster that behaves like a rat.

I said, "Silence", Margaret.

Maybe Fang did eat your homework this time, Henry.

Uh, no, Miss Battle-Axe

Well, then do you have a note for me.

Uh, there must be one here I haven't used yet.

Read it, please, Ralph.

Read it out loud, please, Ralph.

Oh, sorry, Miss Battle-Axe.

Henry can't come to school today,

he's dangerously and contagiously sick.

Signed, Ralph.

Try again, Henry.

Don't you have any notes from your mum in there.

Uh, yes!

Read it, please, Henry.

[clearing throat]

Dear, Miss Battle-Axe,

I can't do any homework today

as I have far too many other things to do today.

Signed, Henry's mum.

PS, Henry's perfectly able to do his homework.

He just doesn't want to.

[whispering] Oh, thanks, mum.

I'll take myself off to detention then, shall I?

Wait.

I have a better idea.

You can do your homework now.

-Huh? -Yes.

Today your homework will be sharing and caring.

Sharing and caring, Miss?

[laughing]

As if.

Margaret, I'll leave you to decide exactly

how Henry will fulfill that particular challenge.

What... what does that mean?

It means you're mine.

All mine.

[evil laughter] Haha!

[sighing] This is got to be the worst homework ever.

Being Moody Margaret's slave.

Yeah, Henry, really bad luck.

It's not bad luck, Ralph.

It's all that bad karma coming home to roost.

Uh, Margaret, I think you're mixing your metaphors.

I'm what?

Mr. Stick-Your-Nose-In-A-Book In-Case-I-Have-To-Interact With-A-Real-Human-Being.

Yeah, Mr. Stick, uh, whatever in whatever.

Thank you, Susan.

Oh, bananas, my favourite.

-One banana. -[Susan] Yeah.

Two bananas.

Three bananas.

Yeah, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[laughing]

Yeah, look at Henry, what a state?

[laughing]

Oh, look, Susan, it's stew for lunch, how lovely.

Want some?

What kind of stew is it?

Banana stew.

Give me.

I think Henry's going bananas.

[giggling]

That's quite funny actually.

Thanks, guys.

Oh, no.

Wah, wah.

Whoa!

So, you see Miss Oddbod,

Henry just went bananas.

Mr. Soggington, why don't you take it from here?

With pleasure, Miss Oddbod.

Well, it wasn't immediately obvious who was the culprit.

Now, of course I had my suspicions.

[angrily] Henry!

So what you're saying Mr. Soggington

is that you have no evidence for this crime.

Well, yes, uh, I mean, no.

No bowl and no bananas.

You mean they just vanished into thin air.

Yes, Miss Oddbod, one minute they were there.

the next minute they were gone.

Thank you, Margaret.

You were there, were you?

Well, no, Miss.

But Andrew was, and he told Gurinder and she told Soraya.

And then Soraya told me, and so it must be true.

Yes, well, as I said... thank you, Margaret.

You can go now.

Oh, don't you need me anymore?

Amazingly, I don't, Margaret.

Oh, well, you know where to find me if you do.

I most certainly do, Margaret.

So, Sidmouth, no evidence you say.

No.

Unless you count banana stew

which tastes quite nice actually, if you like stew.

Do you want to know what I think, Sidmouth?

Uh, of course I do, Cynthia.

I think we should forget about this, Sidmouth.

Forget about it, Cynthia?

Look at it this way, Sidmouth.

We don't have any evidence.

No, we don't.

You're right, Cynthia.

So, I'll just...

-Forget about it. -Yes.

I'll forget about it, shall I?

Thank you, Sidmouth.

Uh, um, I'll just go and forget about it then.

Goodbye, Sidmouth.

Goodbye, Cynthia.

Goodbye, Sidmouth.

Quite yes, goodbye.

[knocking on door]

Yes, Sidmouth.

It's me, Miss Oddbod.

[wearily] Oh, Margaret.

What can I do for you now?

I found a banana, Miss Oddbod.

Well, I never.

Well, Henry.

[nervously] Uh, yes, Miss Oddbod.

What have you got to say for yourself.

Well, Miss Oddbod,

it all started with a banana.

Thank you, Henry. That's more than enough bananas for one day.

[shockingly] Ah!

Now run along.

I've got a lot of work to catch up on.

Oh, right.

Does that mean I can go?

Yes, Henry, you can.

Though I'd walk slowly back to class

so it seems as though you've had a thorough talking to.

All right.

[laughing] Will do.

-Miss Oddbod? -Yes, Henry.

Do you like bananas?

Well, yes. I am quite partial to them.

Oh, thank you, Henry.

I think.

[laughing]

Well, that's the end of another happy day at Ashton Primary.

Sometimes, just sometimes,

it's not all bad.

[laughing]

[theme music playing]