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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,280 [theme song playing] 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,040 ♪ It's not easy being me ♪ 3 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,040 ♪ "Wash your face And brush your hair" ♪ 4 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,880 ♪ Nag, nag, nag It's just not fair ♪ 5 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,560 ♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪ 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,360 ♪ So down with school I'm gonna rule ♪ 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,960 ♪ And when I'm king I'll do my thing ♪ 8 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,800 ♪ And then my life Would be so sweet ♪ 9 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,960 ♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪ 10 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,080 ♪ Nah, nah, nah Nah, nah, ney ♪ 11 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,000 ♪ The Purple Hand Gang Rules, okay ♪ 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,800 ♪ It's so easy being me ♪ 13 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,880 ♪ I'm Horrid Henry ♪ 14 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,840 [birds chirping] 15 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,000 I'm going now! 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,840 I said, I'm going now! 17 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,280 Have a good day, princess. 18 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,280 Huh, as if you care. 19 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,920 Do you want me to run you to school, poppet? 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,960 Not today, Dad. Can't you see I'm busy? 21 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,760 Oh, uh, right. Only I-- 22 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:16,680 I said, 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,640 [screaming] no! 24 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,280 [screaming] No! 25 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,600 Whatever you say, poppet. 26 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,480 And don't call me "poppet". 27 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,040 Oh, sorry, poppet. 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,040 Ugh... Parents. 29 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,880 Who'd have them? They're only good for one thing 30 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,920 and that's giving you stuff. 31 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:57,280 Like, the Excellent Excelcious 25000 Free Five-way mobile phone. 32 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,120 Look at it. Is that not a thing of beauty? 33 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:08,320 It's got extra dongles and three different types of Peppermint Posies. 34 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:13,720 And it's got a state-of-the-art recording studio built-in, 35 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,840 which of course I'm going to need, 36 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,120 if I'm going to be a star. 37 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,680 Ha. No equipment on this planet 38 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,200 could make you a star, beetle bones. 39 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,040 Hey, how are you doing today? 40 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,160 Do you mind? I'm talking. 41 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,320 This is my show, bogey brain. 42 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,880 I'm the one who does the talking around here. 43 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,160 That's what you think. 44 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,920 Yeah, it is what I think. 45 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,240 All right then, have it your own way. What do I care, anyway? 46 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:49,840 I'm going to be a star just as soon as I get my new mobile phone. 47 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,600 Yeah, yeah, you already told us with a built-in... [mocks] 48 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,840 State-of-the-art recording studio. 49 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,160 Hang on a minute. 50 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,720 Did you say, a built-in state-of-the-art recording studio? 51 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,480 Yeah, I did. 52 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,040 Cool. 53 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,360 Well, dream on, slug's nut, 'cause you're not getting one. 54 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,840 I am. And when I do, 55 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,040 -it's farewell frown-face... -[cooing] 56 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,040 hello happiness. 57 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,000 Yeah, well, like I said, it will never happen. 58 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,520 It just so happens, it will. 59 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,680 'Cause my dad has arranged for the producer of Make Me a Star 60 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,200 to come to dinner this very night at my house. 61 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,320 Not your house, my house. 62 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,560 So, like I said, farewell, rot-face. 63 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,640 I'm impressed. 64 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:49,560 -[ringing] -Hello. 65 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,400 Dad, it's me. 66 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,440 [chittering on phone] 67 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,840 Margaret, your daughter, remember? 68 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,160 [chittering] 69 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:00,880 Listen, I need you to invite the producer of Make me a Star 70 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,520 to our house for dinner tonight. 71 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,560 [chittering] 72 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,840 [angrily] Yes, of course it's important. 73 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,160 Ah, there you are. 74 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,880 How do I look? 75 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,880 Ooh yes, I do look gorgeous, don't I? 76 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,920 Pink really is my colour. 77 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,840 What's that? What am I singing tonight? 78 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,720 Shh, it's a secret. 79 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,120 [laughs] 80 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,280 Nearly showtime. 81 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,440 Just time to do my breathing exercises. 82 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,320 [inhales] 83 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,280 Mm, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. 84 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,720 Ah, ready, poppet? 85 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,360 Ugh... Can't you see I'm breathing? 86 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,160 Oh, uh, sorry, poppet, I'll come back in five. 87 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,760 Make sure you do. And don't call me "poppet"! 88 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,320 Now, where was I? 89 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,200 Oh, yes, breathing. 90 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,160 [inhales] 91 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,200 Mm, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. 92 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,640 Ah, there you are. 93 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,040 Well, you didn't expect me 94 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,240 to let this chance pass me by, did you? 95 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,600 If that beetle brain is going to be a star, 96 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,160 then I am, too. 97 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,040 Well, wish me luck. 98 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,200 [Mum reading] "And so, Rony Mo and Little Bo 99 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,880 sat down to a yuppity tea of moly munchies." 100 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,000 [meows] 101 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,160 [Mum] Henry, is that you? 102 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,840 Um... Just going to get my homework book. 103 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,280 Homework book? 104 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,240 [speaking gibberish] 105 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,400 [knock at the door] 106 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,600 Enter. 107 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,640 -Ready, poppet? -Ready? 108 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,680 Of course, I'm ready. 109 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,920 Showtime. 110 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,120 Showtime. 111 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,160 Surprise. 112 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,360 [violin music playing] 113 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,120 ♪ Shh, it's a secret No need to shout ♪ 114 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,280 ♪ Secrets are what It's all about ♪ 115 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,440 ♪ Secret club What do we do? ♪ 116 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,680 ♪ Shh, it's a secret Not telling you ♪ 117 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:50,040 ♪ Nunga, nunga, nunga, nin Without the password You can't come in ♪ 118 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,440 ♪ Only for girls We don't like boys ♪ 119 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,520 ♪ Unless you've got some really good toys ♪ 120 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,880 ♪ Secret club is the best Secret club rules the nest ♪ 121 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,200 ♪ S-E-C-R-E-T club, yeah ♪ 122 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,200 That's enough, Moody Margaret. 123 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,640 The Purple Hand Gang fights back. 124 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,840 Hooray. 125 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,080 What are you doing here, traitor? 126 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,920 She threatened to tell my mum 127 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,600 that I was reading a Gross Class Hero comic 128 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,080 instead of doing my maths homework yesterday. 129 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,360 What a mouldy old Measle. 130 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,560 One, two, three, four. 131 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,320 [upbeat music playing] 132 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,640 ♪ Purple Hand Gang's Beyond compare ♪ 133 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,800 ♪ Whenever you need us We'll be there ♪ 134 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,000 ♪ Top-level missions Are what we do ♪ 135 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,200 ♪ Don't call us We'll call you ♪ 136 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,240 ♪ I'm the leader And if you forget ♪ 137 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,480 ♪ You'll walk the plank No safety net ♪ 138 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,760 ♪ We're mean and murky Crazy and cool ♪ 139 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,320 ♪ Chocolate biscuits Are our fuel ♪ 140 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,280 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Is the best ♪ 141 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,440 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Beats the rest ♪ 142 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,640 ♪ P-U-R-P-L-E Hand Gang ♪ 143 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,000 ♪ Enemy ahoy! Hang on to your coats ♪ 144 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,320 ♪ Pull up the drawbridge And fill the moat ♪ 145 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,360 ♪ We run to attack I'll beat your sword♪ 146 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,480 ♪ There's never time For us to get bored ♪ 147 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,800 ♪ Purple is the colour Pirates is the game ♪ 148 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,760 ♪ You know the Purple Hand Gang Is the name ♪ 149 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,080 ♪ Wherever we go Wherever we run ♪ 150 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,320 ♪ The Skull and Crossbones That's our home ♪ 151 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,480 ♪ Play with dollies, Biscuit eating ♪ 152 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,800 ♪ Reading comics Enemy beating ♪ 153 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,920 ♪ We don't boast We don't brag ♪ 154 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,760 ♪ All you need Is your own handbag ♪ 155 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,360 ♪ When the going Gets really rough ♪ 156 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,600 ♪ The Purple Hang Gang Gets really tough ♪ 157 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,840 ♪ Alien invasion Pirate raid ♪ 158 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,560 ♪ Give us a call We'll come to your aid ♪ 159 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,720 [grunting] 160 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,280 ♪ Secret Club is the best ♪ 161 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,520 ♪ Secret Club Rules the nest ♪ 162 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,680 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Is the best ♪ 163 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,840 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Beats the rest ♪ 164 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,040 ♪ Secret Club is the best ♪ 165 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,280 ♪ Secret Club rules the nest ♪ 166 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,360 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Is the best ♪ 167 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,560 ♪ Purple Hand Gang Beats the rest ♪ 168 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,960 ♪ Our club is the best ♪ 169 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,880 [all applaud] 170 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,840 Yay, Windy! Well done! 171 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,120 Well done, woohoo. 172 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,880 [Henry groans] 173 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,800 Where's he gone? 174 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,560 This is all your fault, slug breath. 175 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,000 You stole my moment. 176 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,880 Wait, I've got good news, poppet. 177 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:26,760 What? 178 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:30,400 Well, the famous producer he say, yes. 179 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,280 He say yes, what? 180 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:36,040 He say, yes, you are a superstar in the making. 181 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,800 Yes! 182 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,720 What's my first stage role going to be, then? 183 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,400 -Um... -How about the Wicked Witch? 184 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,280 -[chuckles] -You watch-- 185 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,920 Oh, yes. The Wicked Witch in Somewhere Over the Tornado. 186 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,920 [gasps] I love that show. 187 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,120 What do you think of that, poppet? 188 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,560 Don't call me "poppet"! 189 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,880 Phew. What a night. 190 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:23,240 So, Margaret's dad paid the producer to say all that. 191 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,960 Who said money doesn't talk? 192 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,160 [laughs wickedly] 193 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:39,000 ...the answer when divided by 50 and multiplied by 365 is... 194 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,560 [snoring] 195 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,240 -Henry! -Whoa. 196 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:48,280 Sorry, Miss Battle-Axe, uh, late night last night. 197 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,440 Ah, Miss Battle-Axe. 198 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,840 I am looking for volunteers. 199 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,920 Oh, no problem, Miss Oddbod. 200 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,600 -Henry. -Uh, yes, Miss Battle-Axe? 201 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,560 We'll have one volunteer at your service. 202 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,880 What? No! I mean... 203 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,480 Um... what am I volunteering for? 204 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,680 Being a bogey brain, beetle bug that's what. 205 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,600 -Miss Oddbod. -Uh, thank you, Boudica. 206 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,080 I need a volunteer to help me make a video. 207 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:21,120 [all clamouring] 208 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,720 It's too late. Henry has already volunteered. 209 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,720 Yes! Ha, I'm going to make a video. 210 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,080 Na, na, na, na, na. 211 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,760 Of course, it's not something I think Henry can be trusted to do on his own. 212 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,640 What? 213 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,320 So, he'll be working with another volunteer. 214 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,200 Huh? 215 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,720 Thank you, Margaret, for volunteering. 216 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,760 [screaming] No! 217 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,320 So, you see, that's the challenge. 218 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,560 Um, what's the challenge, Miss Oddbod? 219 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,280 To sell the school, Henry. 220 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,440 We're going to sell the school? 221 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,120 Well, uh, yes, in a manner of speaking. 222 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,480 We're gonna sell the school! 223 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,120 Can you believe that? [chuckles] 224 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,920 So, what video are you making? 225 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,840 Gross Class Hero's gruesomest gross beats ever? 226 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,840 Boodle Poodles bounce backwards? 227 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,760 Scooter Skater's sky roll school? 228 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:32,000 No. My video is going to be even bigger and better than all those put together. 229 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,200 Ha. What do you mean your video? 230 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,680 The video I'm going to make. 231 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,600 The video you are going to make with what? 232 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,760 -You what? -You heard me. 233 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,960 With what are you going to make the video 234 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,120 what you are going to make? 235 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,440 -Um... -She's right, Henry. 236 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,200 You haven't got a video camera. 237 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,000 But you've got one. 238 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,040 Well, Mum lent it to my Aunty Shields, 239 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,640 who gave it to my second cousin, Alex, twice removed. 240 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,280 -And then-- -Great. 241 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,920 No video camera. 242 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:05,440 Oh, well then, I guess that's going to be the video what I'm going to make. 243 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:06,400 Isn't it? 244 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,640 How are we going to play this, then? 245 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,760 Well, I'll be the very important Director. 246 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,440 Ralph, you can be the second and third and fourth A.D. 247 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:15,320 Cool. 248 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,480 Hmm, I'll be best boy. 249 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,360 -And me. -And me. 250 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:20,320 And me. 251 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,440 Susan can be the costume designer. 252 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,760 Gurinder, you're on make-up, Linda, hair. 253 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,960 Soraya, you can be the singing coach. 254 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,680 Ooh, will there be singing in it? 255 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,560 No. 256 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,480 Brian, you're in-charge of accounts. 257 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,880 Graham, catering, Al, stunts. 258 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,000 Bert? 259 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,200 -I don't know. -Correct. 260 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,800 -William? -[weeps] 261 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,320 Forget it, you're fired. 262 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,360 [wailing] 263 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,400 And everyone else can be extras. 264 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,800 [all] Hooray. 265 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,280 But don't think you're going to get a credit. 266 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,600 [all booing] 267 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:58,440 I am the very important Director and what I say, goes. 268 00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,720 [all] Ugh. 269 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,280 Hey, coming through, excuse me. 270 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,680 I heard you're making a video. 271 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,520 I have come to offer my services. 272 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,440 Uh... what can you do? 273 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,440 Well, uh, I'm a reasonably good football player. 274 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,480 I hit darts every now and then. I play the tuba. 275 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,960 No, none of that's working for me, buddy. 276 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,760 I can be pretty mean. [growls] 277 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:23,400 [all groaning] 278 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,080 All right, then, security. 279 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,480 Oh, uh, right. 280 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,720 [clears throat] 281 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,200 It's time to make my very important Director's speech. 282 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,280 Oh, well, yes, of course. 283 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,520 Listen to me, you lot. 284 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,440 Tomorrow we are making our movie. 285 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,920 [all cheering] 286 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,080 Correction, I'm making a movie. 287 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,720 You lot are just helping me. 288 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,440 [all] Oh? Yay! 289 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,640 And if I say pink is purple and purple is pink, 290 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,280 then you don't blink. 291 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,640 If I say, down is up and up is down, 292 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,280 you don't even frown! 293 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,840 Oh, [laughs] I'm a poet and I don't even know it. 294 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,520 [laughs] 295 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:18,400 And if I tell you to laugh, you laugh! 296 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,160 [bored laugh] 297 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,080 Right, I think that covers everything. 298 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,160 Um, Margaret, I haven't got a job. 299 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,320 You? You. 300 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,200 You're the first A.D. 301 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,000 Yes! First A.D! [laughs] 302 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,120 That's assistant Director, 303 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,080 [hesitantly] isn't it? 304 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,680 Well, that's good, isn't it? 305 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,720 Oh, yes. 306 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,040 It's good, Henry. 307 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,840 It means, you belong to me, forever! 308 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,040 [laughs maliciously] 309 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:03,520 Now then, let's get this show rolling and gathering no moss. 310 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,680 We're gonna break down the doors 311 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,560 and blow open the windows on this old school, 312 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,640 and we are going to sell, sell, sell! 313 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:18,760 Oh, dear. I hope we haven't done something we're going to regret later, Boudica. 314 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,440 Quite likely, Cynthia. 315 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,720 Hmm... 316 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,760 Perhaps, you'd better keep an eye on this, Boudica. 317 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,360 With pleasure, Miss Cynthia, with pleasure. 318 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,000 [skids] 319 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,000 And where do you think you're going? 320 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,080 To school, we're making a movie. 321 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,000 Correction, I'm making a movie. 322 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,240 -You are-- -Just helping, yes, I know. 323 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,240 Aren't you going to ask me what I'm doing now? 324 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,480 What are you doing now, bogey brain? 325 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,880 I beg your pardon? 326 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:59,160 Sorry. What are you doing now, oh, very important Director? 327 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,200 -I am thinking... -Thinking about what? 328 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,320 Thinking about what to call my movie. 329 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,760 Oh, ha. Good luck with that then. 330 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:10,680 Uh, it's the first A.D.'s job to come up with a title. 331 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,840 Is it? Oh, in that case, 332 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,960 How about, Buy this School, Now? 333 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,440 Hmm. Doesn't have much of a ring about it. 334 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,880 How about something a bit more exotic? 335 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,960 Oh, I know. Bogeus Maximus. 336 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,240 It's the school motto. 337 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,400 Even I know that's not true, Henry. 338 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,880 Try again. 339 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,840 [sighs] All right, then. 340 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,280 How about the real school motto? 341 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,360 Which is? 342 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:37,360 Ad solum esperanto. 343 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,160 -I think. -Hmm? 344 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,160 I like that. I'll have that. 345 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,920 Ad solum Despereto. 346 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,200 -But... -[rumbling] 347 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,280 [brakes squeal] 348 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,280 [honks] 349 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,440 What's that? 350 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,760 That is my driver. 351 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:54,720 All very important Directors have drivers, didn't you know? 352 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,840 [sighs] Oh, Ad solum Despereto. 353 00:17:59,040 --> 00:17:59,920 [beeping] 354 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,040 Welcome to Ashton Primary School. 355 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:07,480 A school which has produced at least one famous pupil. 356 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,200 And many brilliant teachers. 357 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,600 What's she doing here? 358 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,720 Oh, I'm just keeping an eye on you, Henry. 359 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,720 Like any good Executive Producer, [chuckles] 360 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,320 from a distance. 361 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,640 Turn over. 362 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,800 [snores and groans] 363 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:33,320 Ahem. And now, let me show you around our modest, little school. 364 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:39,760 It comes complete with your very own demon dinner lady. 365 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,240 And her very own vat of delicious stew. 366 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,120 Boys' and girls' toilets. I mean, lavatories. 367 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,400 [weeping] 368 00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,360 Exceptionally well-behaved pupils, 369 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,680 who are most definitely not out of control. 370 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,760 [all clamouring] 371 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,960 Oops. 372 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,920 And our highly secure 373 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,840 [whispers] confiscation cupboard. 374 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,120 Thank you, Peter. 375 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,720 The professional can take it from here. 376 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,800 So, if you want to buy this school, you better hurry. 377 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:30,080 And who wouldn't want to buy something as lovely as this? 378 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,440 It's yours for a quid if you can get me onto Too Cool for School. 379 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,160 Oh, nearly forgot. 380 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,760 Ad solum Despereto. 381 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,640 [all in bored voice] Ad solum Despereto. 382 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,160 It's a wrap. 383 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,080 Now, where's my very important hat? 384 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,360 Well, when I asked you to sell the school, 385 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,360 I didn't think you would actually try to sell the school. 386 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,920 I was thinking more that you would 387 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,840 sell the school to pupils who might want to come here. 388 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,040 [both] Oh. 389 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,840 Tell me, who was responsible for making this video? 390 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,640 -She was. -He was. 391 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,880 Well, you're fired. 392 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,120 [both screaming] No! 393 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,040 Thank you and goodnight. 394 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,640 [theme music playing] 29164

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