Original subtitles

Edited at https://subtitletools.com

"When the well-known MD. L Fax has to travel to a conference in Kiel; he has to wait for his car. But the car is delivered in the last minute by a distinguished gentleman in a white coat "

Hello? l have to be in Kiel first thing in the morning!

Have you sent my car yet? I'll wait ten minutes more!

Then I'll call for a taxi, at your expense.

Thank you and goodbye.

I'll be gone for one week, not a day more.

Have you heard from the cancellations?

Nurse Lisa [off camera] No doctor.

Damn bunglers!

Will Nurse Lisa call me a taxi and have them drive me to Kiel right away?

There is no need for a taxi. Your car is parked just outside. It's in perfect condition.

We've put new wiper blades on the front window.

Thank you. Goodbye Nurse Lisa. Let's go then.

Oh no. The cancellations. What am I supposed to do now?

There's six ofthem today. What am I going to do? This will drive me crazy.

Damn! What am I supposed to do?

No, No, No!

[The doorbell rings]

Here is the first one

Sorry lady, but I forgot my gloves.

The doctor must help me.

Just a moment, doctor.

You must help me!

| forgot to post the doctor's cancellation. There are six patients today.

What should I do about it? lam an auto mechanic.

Nothing. Just listen to them. It is the onlything Dr. Fax does.

But I have to be back at

I'll do anything you want me to.

- Sure? - For sure

- And I'll just listen? - Yes, you just listen.

All right, but don't blame me ifthis goes wrong.

No, no You're the doctor now.

l'll fix this. I'll show you

For all it's worth, I've got a white coat.

Well doctor, lfeel so strange

When I'm at school, outside, by the park.

I suddenly have to do like this!

Oopps. What happens next?

Nothing happens next

Well, that's the problem.

Exposing yourself like this

is a sexual signal that doesn't get answered.

What do people do when you do these things?

They look, and then they laugh or get angry.

What would happen if I'd respond like this?

That would turn me on for sure.

Show me again, doctor

please doctor.

Thank you so much, doctor.

Please, enter.

This way, miss.

Would you please call my colleague Dr. Sven? I think we have to be two on this one.

"Next patient is a sporty lady who has, more or less, been raped in the forest during mushroom picking wearing nothing but a raincoat and rubber boots. She has since developed a phobia for mushrooms."

"With the help ofa Book on Mushrooms and a colleagues ordinary shaped penis Dr. Frank shows that there is no resemblance between a penis and a mushroom. They fuck, and the lady is cured."

Howdy, Sven.

Yes, this is my renowned colleague Dr. Sven.

He will be our conical tool in this hard experiment.

Could we start right away? Bring out the shroom.

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Does this resemble any kind of mushroom?

DR. FRANK [outside frame] What does a fly Amanita smell like?

It smells a little carbolic ldon't know if! can do this

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Well, then smell this

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Well, what does it smell like?

Like jasmine

DR. FRANK [outside frame] What does a fly Amanita taste like?

Terrible burning, bitter

DR. FRANK [outside frame] and Dr. Sven's shroom?

Yummy.

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Well, then continue

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Please, take offyour coat.

DR. FRANK [outside frame] Like that. Lay down.

Jeez, it's so quiet.

My name is Miss Claude and I've scheduled an appointment.

Sure Please, have a seat.

There is no air conditioning in here.

It's bad circulation in here, young lady.

How long will this take?

Book Miss Chanterelle for next week would you?

- Yes, but - No buts. Next please.

NURSE LISA Next Friday, is that okay?

This will take a while, doctor.

I've got three problems, doc'.

MlSS CLAUDE [outside frame] I'm a striptease dancer

a singing striptease dancer.

And, you see, I'm also sick doctor.

When I started, I was very shy

I had to sing and dance ....

with a brown paper bag on my head

And one night, something fantastic and terrible at the same time happened

You see. My problem is; I can only have intercourse to music

and only with ladies

and l have to wear a brown paper bag on my head.

You see? Only with ladies, bagged and during music

Three very, very, serious problems doctor.

Well

Perhaps we can cure you with some innovative cognitive behavioral practices

Dear, doctor

lt's suddenly very hot in here.

Lift up your fur.

Can I?

Now, the first part ofthe therapy.

Let's trythis with the brown paper bag.

And now we take the paper bag of.

You're almost cured Miss.

Would you be so kind as to throw this in the trash? I don't need it.

Thank you doctor.

"Dr. Frank gets a call on the telephone. It's the sporty Lady, one Miss Chanterelle, calling from The Golden Nugget."

[Telephone ringing]

Hello. Dr. Frank speaking

Hello, this is Miss Chanterelle.

Hello, Miss Chanterelle. What can ldo foryou?

Do you have time to see me, and a friend who needs help, for lunch?

She suffers from severe foot fetishism. I told her you were very good.

Sounds interesting.

Could you meet us at The Golden Nugget in halfan hour?

Foot fetishism is a very severe illness. It's an emergency.

l'll cancel my next appointment. I'll be at The Golden Nugget in two shakes of a dog's tail.

That's all for now.

"Miss Chanterelle and her girlfriend meet Dr. Frank at the restaurant The Golden Nugget. The girlfriend suffers from severe foot fetishism. Under the table her foot immediately starts to rub Dr. Franks crotch."

"A second later Miss Chanterelles' foot joins the rubbing. Everything looks normal above the table, but down under there's a lot of action going on."

"Back at the clinic. Next patient is a young seamstress who, while delivering a sail, got involved in a foursome with three rough sailors onboard a boat. She shows remorse and has developed some kind of sailphobia."

"Dr. Frank arranges a triple with his friend and colleague Dr. Sven. The young seamstress is cured. All good."

"Nest patient has been fucked in a phone booth while she had her husband on the phone. Now she can't have sex without talking over the phone. Dr. Frank cures her with a Western Electric trimline phone while nurse Lisa whispers in her ear."

"The last patient has her husband with her. They're newly wed, but he doesn't know how to respond to her invites. Dr. Frank calls nurse Lisa, and together they show the couple how it is done. The married practice what they've just learnt."

"Dr. Frank has succeeded. Much better than Dr. Fax, at least nurse Lisa thinks so. ‘Open up your own clinic and I'll follow you,' she says. And that is what happens. But first they get married on the stairs to the Stockholm Court House."

- lwish you all the best. - Thank you very much.

Cheers.

I love you.

Would you mind helping me with the zipper?

Thanks my dear Stina, but we'd like to be alone now.

Yes Lisa, just you and l.

lam...

Hush now. Remember what you told me: "Just listen".