Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Please.

Please help!

Help, somebody help me!

Help!

Okay, okay.

What?

What was that?

Oh my god.

No, not again, not again, not again.

Oh my god.

No I can't, I can't.

Oh my god.

No, no, no, no.

Please help, please!

Okay, I don't, I don't know if anybody's

ever gonna see this.

It's, oh god.

It's...

It's the 2nd of February 2020,

and I have no way to get out of my house.

All of my doors and my windows, they're all locked.

From the outside.

My phone, my phone isn't working.

I have no reception, my internet is down.

I don't know, I don't know why, but somebody or

some thing is trying to kill me.

Please just tell my Mom and Dad that I love them

and that,

I wish I had done something more with my life.

I tried, I really, really tried to.

If only.

No.

No, no please.

Oh please, oh please, no, please, no!

Oh shit.

Oh god.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit shit.

Okay, calm down, calm down.

Fucking get a grip, get a grip, get a grip.

Okay, okay, okay.

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Come on come on come on.

Oh god, oh shit.

Shit shit,

shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

Okay.

Oh god.

If anyone finds this, tell my Mom and Dad

that I'm sorry I didn't make more of my life.

I wanted to, and I'm...

I love you, and...

Who's there?

I don't know if anyone is ever gonna see this,

but

if I don't-

IF I don't make it,

it's it's it's February 2nd, 2020.

My phone won't work.

I have no reception and I can't,

I can't open any of the windows or the doors to outside.

I think someone's-

I think someone, some thing is trying to...

Why doesn't she just break a fucking window?

I love you, Kip, but this script literally makes zero sense.

Hey, where the fuck are you?

What?

Oh, come on, man.

You're supposed to meet me a half hour ago.

Morning to you, too, Mark.

Who eats lunch at three in the afternoon?

Oh dude.

You got news on the Sorkin show?

Yeah, dude, the network didn't approve you.

Network?

It's on YouTube.

Fuck.

All right, well whatever, look,

I've been thinking about this next season of "Belle,"

and I wanna walk.

- They don't- - Are you takin'

a fuckin' piss?

- Yeah. - Are you kidding me?

Listen, I'm gonna make this quick, okay?

We decided to let you go.

What?

Yeah.

We're letting you go.

You're kind of an asshole.

You're not very good.

For somebody who thinks that they're that smart,

you're pretty untalented.

And I'm really glad for you that

the DUI thing worked out in your favor,

but you're too much work.

It's not worth the effort.

Wow, Mark.

You were so far up my ass when I booked the show,

I thought you were ready make a home there.

What was that whole fuckin' loyalty talk?

Oh god, you know, Mark,

you are why people hate agents.

Well, you're the reason people love actors.

You know what Mark? If you think you're

getting commission on next season

I will do anything to keep that money from you.

My god, you really are so stupid.

You think that you're on hiatus?

Come on, man.

You guys are getting canceled.

Good luck finding more work.

Fucking clown.

What?

Now look, watch this.

I think someone, some thing is trying to-

- Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Why doesn't she just break a fucking window?

And there it is.

Look, Alex, I'm just saying,

it woulda helped if you took it a little more seriously.

Yeah, well I think Chrissy

took it seriously enough for all of us.

Was it too much?

And Kip, why are we all doing the same scene?

What up motherfuckers?

Holy stache, Kip, what are you doin', man?

Yeah, you dig?

You dig?

- No, no one digs. - You look like

Chris Hansen's wet spring break fantasy.

- Okay, is Kelly coming? - I don't know what that means

but fuck you.

You know, she probably just wants us to wait.

Why?

'Cause she's Kelly.

No, I just mean it's like classic Sagittarius.

- Hey Kel. - What?

Did you guys laugh at my Instastory or no?

- Every time. - I chuckled.

I wouldn't say I laughed.

Wait, was it supposed to be funny?

Fuck, I'm deleting it.

Where's Declan?

I don't know, jail in Thailand?

That's not funny.

Rehab?

What is on your lip?

Thank you for joining, Kel, and I am growing my mustache.

On purpose?

What do you mean, yeah, on purpose.

- Thank you. - Hey, let him live.

Let him live?

I'm giving him all the space he needs.

Okay, I'm here, what do you want?

Okay, Kip and I were talking,

and we both think that with the show going back next month,

if we all band together, like they did-

- Yeah, like they did on "The Simpsons."

Good show.

Nope, like they did on "Friends,"

if we all band together

we could have a better chance at getting more money.

Yeah, but we're all in different amounts.

No, we would agree on a percentage increase.

So say it's like 10%.

10% is like nothing.

I took "Peanuts" season one because it was my first pilot.

Yeah, I mean, some of us are on literally

a fifth of everybody else.

Yeah, but some of us have been

in more seasons than others.

Hey, what'd I miss?

Manners, apparently.

Okay, when people say 11, they mean 11.

Jesus Christ, Kip, Amber Alert.

Okay, guys, we're talking about next season,

and we need to all band together

if we wanna get more money.

Are you guys stupid?

The show's getting canceled.

- Oh my god. - What?

- What? - Fuck you?

My agent called me yesterday.

Wait, no, how does he know?

Molly told me we were going back.

Yeah, me, too.

How can they

- just change their minds? - No, no, no,

there's no way they're canceling the show

without telling me.

I am the lead.

I'm Belle, and I would know.

So I'm calling my agent.

My agent's brother-in-law is the VP of the network,

so if anyone's gonna know it's him.

Oh, that's how you stay on the show so long.

What are you pissy about?

You complained every single day on that set.

You know what?

Just 'cause I didn't want to prance around

pretending to be a 14th century warrior

trapped in the body of a 17 year old

doesn't mean I don't like getting paid.

Oh my God, I just bought a new house.

You guys, I knew this was gonna happen

the second that Bobby took over the network.

He doesn't see our show for what it could be.

Yeah, I think it's I-E, not Y.

Oh, hey, congratulations on your new gig in spell check,

the TV series.

That's not even a real fuckin' show.

Name's Bob-I-E Brower.

That's a stupid name.

Look, let's all think on the bright side, guys.

Okay?

We can all start auditioning again.

Meaning I can show what I can really do as an actor.

God.

That's exactly what somebody

who booked their first audition would say,

but that's okay, you should.

Okay, it wasn't my first.

It was my second.

Max, we can't audition.

We're not allowed to.

The studio owns us for another 12 months.

They're not gonna release us from our contracts.

Okay, but if the show is canceled,

then technically-

- They'll keep us under contract

for as long as they can just in case.

Yeah, but in case of what?

I mean, how are we supposed to make money?

They'll give us a holding fee.

How much?

A few grand.

- What? - Oh my god,

- I can't even. - Look, I told you idiots

to save your money.

Oh, by the way, speaking of saving money,

Max, how's your new Porsche?

Ha ha.

Okay, I didn't know it was like burn Max day.

But you know, I look dope in that car,

- so shut up. - That's amazing,

'cause you're gonna be living in it soon, so.

Oh my God, what am I gonna do?

You could always do

another banana bread tutorial on Instagram.

Oh yeah, the sourdough one was good.

You guys follow me?

No, I don't follow you on Instagram.

Guys, this is is bullshit.

I can't go back to go-go dancing.

Acting is the only real skill I even have.

And you barely have that.

What am I gonna do?

We could keep making my movie.

Okay.

What movie?

Oh, I am trying my hand at writing.

I have this horror concept

- that's pretty- - Yeah, but we're still

under contract, right?

No, we make it ourselves.

The scenes you guys filmed were pretty good.

The scenes they filmed?

Uuuhhh.

Yeah, yeah, a few of 'em helped me film some scenes

so I could just see what it sounded like.

A few of 'em.

And was that everyone?

Or just...

No, just Alex, Chrissy, and Max.

Just everyone.

He asked me too, but I said no.

Of course you did.

You know what, fuck you, Kip.

That is really mean.

Come on, Kelly, it's not like you would have done it.

I might have.

No, you wouldn't have.

Okay guys, can we all just take a breath, please?

Together?

Good idea, everyone,

one, two, three.

Now let it go with a...

I can't concentrate.

Is he okay?

You sound like you're cumming.

Are you finished?

It works.

Okay, seriously guys, though.

Kip, if the writing

gets a little better,

just being honest, just being honest,

do you think that there is something there?

I, to be honest, back at ya,

I really think we have something here.

The scenes you guys filmed were good.

And if we all did it and took it seriously

we could definitely sell it.

Especially if the show is canceled.

I mean, honestly, our fans would love it.

- Yeah. - Okay.

You know you need more than actors

and a script to make a movie.

You need financing.

You need a director.

Kelly, please.

Don't for one second pretend like you have

ever needed a director in your entire career.

Okay, maybe I haven't needed one, but you have needed one.

- Okay, wow. - Okay, okay, guys, guys.

- If we keep doing- - That's hostile.

- What we've been- - Let's be nice.

We keep doing what we've been doing

and we just shoot it ourselves.

On what?

On our phones.

Okay, I'm hanging up now.

Okay, no, Kelly, listen, Kelly.

- Kelly, come on. - Kelly, just listen,

listen, listen, listen.

The new phones they shoot in 4k.

It's basically like, movie worthy.

Look, I'm not being funny, but I was the lead

of one of the highest grossing horror films in 2017.

And I'm just not making a home movie.

- So. - Okay, well,

this is found footage,

so it doesn't matter if the quality isn't the best.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, but everybody always looks

super ugly in those movies.

Well just use your ring light then, sweetie.

You know guys, I was listening to Kevin Smith

on Joe Rogan's podcast last night,

- and he's- - Oh god.

Was a mullet required to listen to that episode or?

Anyways, they were explaining that there's

a lot of freedom in filming your own stuff.

That's what everybody who can't get a studio

to finance their movie says.

I'll go fuck myself then, Declan.

Okay, come on guys, come on.

This could really be something.

Okay?

We could be our own producers.

Call our own shots.

Nobody holding us down.

Okay.

I mean, there is something to that, yeah?

Like taking a break from

the archaic patriarchal system of Hollywood.

Look, I want to agree, but what did you say?

Babe, I'm in.

Okay.

I don't understand any of it, but I'm in.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Declan?

Come on, dude.

Just do it.

- Sure, sure. - Decky?

There's only so many times you can jerk off in one day.

Gross.

Not proven scientifically.

Okay, one more, one more.

- Kelly. - Kelly.

Kelly, Kelly Kelly.

What's it about?

What's it about?

Oh my god, okay, it's about,

it's about a spirit that attacks people who sin.

That's literally everyone.

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Okay, okay, all right.

Why don't we do this?

Why don't we all get the scene

and shoot it and then we'll see what happens.

We'll see what's there.

Okay, perfect, perfect plan.

I'll just, I'll re-tweak it and then we can go from there.

Great, and then send it to us tonight, yeah?

No, I have to write it still.

Yeah, yeah, well write it now,

and then send it to us tonight.

No, it's not that easy.

Dude, it's like 2 p.m.

Ooo, I'll make a Dropbox.

You download the app

and then you click the add all new videos tab,

and then everything you film will automatically upload.

That sounds dangerous.

Why?

I have some notes.

Can I be the lead?

Let's just meet again on Thursday.

Yeah, same time?

Ah, I dunno if I can, you know I got Lesly Kahn 'til noon.

I have Botox at 11, so 11-

- Lesly Kahn. - What are you

fucking laughing at?

You do Botox?

Botox, Kelly?

What?

Wow.

I had no idea.

You look so natural.

Okay, guys, 2:30, Thursday.

Yeah?

- All right. - Okay.

- Whatever. - Bye.

- Peace and love babes. - Oh, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

- I was not ready. - What was that?

You're gonna post that aren't you?

- Dude I- - What the fuck?

You're gonna fucking post it.

I fucking know you are.

I need content for my Only Fans.

It pays my rent, fuck.

- Yo yo yo, tag me. - Oh my God,

- please send it. - No, don't tag me, okay?

Guys.

If anyone finds this tell my mom and dad...

No, no, no, please, no.

It's good to be back.

No, this can't be happening.

Oh but it is.

No, please.

Please please stop.

Why are you doing this?

No.

Oh wait, I gotta fix.

Oh my God.

Okay, I'm gonna take that again.

Cleansing breath.

No, no, no, please.

Please, please, why are you doing this?

Stop, stop.

Making life more interesting.

No please, please don't do this.

Don't do this please.

Please don't do this.

Oh, she's so scared.

Please don't do this.

Who are you crying for?

No no no no, I won't let you.

I won't let...

I won't let you?

I won't,

I won't let you.

I won't let you.

You're not in control anymore...

This, I mean, this feels so cliche.

Everyone else is doing this?

Okay, I just, I wanted my family to know

that I loved them and I wish I stayed in dental school.

I wish...

I won't let you.

Well, you are not in control anymore.

Yes, I am.

This feels really stupid.

Like do I do voices?

No please, I can't, not again.

No, I, I won't let you.

I won't let you do this.

But this is my favorite game.

Princess.

You're not gonna get me.

I won't let you do this.

This is, this is like a lot,

there's a lot happening here.

No.

Oh, don't don't, don't, stop, please.

I wanna tell my mom and dad that I'm sorry

that I didn't go to dental school.

I'm just gonna ad lib something,

because I feel like that's, this is not-

- Dental school?

The only reason that I would be going to dental school

is for the fucking gas.

I don't think they give you that in dental school.

This demon has zero intention.

What, what is the point?

What is the actual point of this demon?

Like, that's just, like fuck, dude.

I don't know,

I don't know what to play.

It's not that, I'm just saying that possession

is such a cliche.

And why are we all reading the same character?

Dude, I asked that day one.

Okay, it's a work in progress, you guys.

And I'm just tryin' to figure out everyone's flow.

Well, I thought Kelly did great.

Yeah, me, too.

I mean, it was super subtle,

- but like raw and organic. - She did.

Thank you.

But there's no way you're releasing any of that

because the lighting looks cheap and desperate,

and what's with the whole, this is a true story thing?

I mean, the audience is gonna know

if we're actually dead, we're famous.

Most of us.

Can hear you, clearly.

Wait, do you guys actually think the lighting looks cheap?

Because I really don't want people to think

that I'm desperate.

You should probably rethink a lotta things then.

- No, listen, Chrissy. - Wait, what?

Don't worry, it's raw, okay?

If we do it black and white

everyone would think it's like art house.

Exactly.

Guys, it shows that we are serious actors

that only care about the quality of the work.

Yeah, I mean, Allison Janney

didn't win her Oscar for "The Help"

when she was dripping in pearls.

She won it for "I, Tonya"

when she was literally strapped to an oxygen tank.

Exactly.

Oh my God, that was Allison Janney?

Wow.

What?

Vanity aside, the plot's whack.

Like there's a spirit attacking people with bad shit in them

- and then what? - Exactly.

That's what's scary.

It's relatable.

It's relatable for about 20 minutes

and then you lose your audience.

I mean, people wanna be challenged, not spoonfed.

You know, Lesly Kahn always says-

Again.

What is the-

- Oh Christ.

what, what, what's so funny.

Nothing dude.

Well, how do you know

if someone's studies with Lesly Kahn?

- Don't, don't. - They'll tell you.

Well, you're an idiot.

Good one.

Okay guys, okay, okay, look,

Kelly does have a point, right?

We should give the characters something to fight for.

So, I don't know how are they gonna beat the spirit?

How do you beat something unbeatable?

Deep, Chrissy.

What is she doing?

Chrissy, why are you talking to a necklace?

What?

Oh, this is actually a pendulum.

So it helps me make decisions.

I just ask it a yes or no question, and then-

- You should be careful with that shit.

You never know who or what you're calling on to answer it.

Those things are like

pretty little Oujia Boards that you wear.

What do you mean?

It's a necklace.

No, Kel, I got this at the Rose Bowl.

Okay, nothing bad ever happens in Pasadena.

According to who?

Fine, how does it move?

Physics?

No, it connects to your higher self

- to give you divine guidance. - Exactly.

Divine, also known as spirituality, God.

It's a conduit.

It's a necklace.

All I'm saying is, who's pushing the pendulum?

Can't answer a door without opening it.

Wait, hold on, wait, wait, wait, that's kinda good.

That might work.

Yeah, who's pushing the pendulum?

Yeah, that's kinda great, Kel.

I mean, I wrote most of my own stuff on "Belle," so.

So, what if our characters use the pendulum

to summon a spirit to help them

banish the spirit that's attacking them?

Yeah, I love that.

I'm pretty sure that's not how it actually works, guys.

I do have some experience in this field.

Oh, it'll be like "The Craft" meets "Poltergeist."

I'm into it.

Just be careful, Kip.

'Cause supernatural stuff gets so cheesy really quick.

Well actually, I might have something, you know?

I saw it on Reddit the other day.

- Banishment curses. - Banishment curses?

Why you lookin' up banishment curses, Declan?

I was gonna send one to my agent.

Wow.

Yikes.

You're so creepy.

I take back calling you an idiot,

'cause now I'm terrified.

- Just fire him. - Here, here, here, here.

Someone read this.

I got it.

I call upon the darkness, for only you can halt the attack.

I call upon your forces to take them away,

to take them back.

On the road to evil from my home to yours,

I consent to your power for all the days and all the hours.

What the fuck?

Okay, what the fuck?

That's a little on the nose, don't you think?

Declan, did you do that?

That was amazing.

That was amazing.

I can play around with it a little so it's not so obvious,

but that's good.

Great, so then we'll just shoot the next scenes,

and then we'll see if we can stitch some together.

- Cool, okay. - Okay, wait, wait, wait.

I mean, yeah, it's not that easy.

You can't just put it together-

- Do we have a name yet?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I was thinking "The Reckoning."

No.

No.

- Why? - I don't like it.

All around?

No, nobody?

Pendulum, "The Pendulum."

No, that's for sure not it.

"Untitled Horror Movie."

- What? - Meta.

This is weird.

No, when you Google it it's gonna be

the first thing that comes up, that's genius.

Oh come on, you guys come on, that's lame.

I mean, will people get it?

- It's funny. - No, no, no,

but then, but then, who's pushing the pendulum

could be the tagline.

That's kinda long for a hashtag.

Okay, all right, all right.

Well, Kelly, why don't you check with CAA?

See which one they like best.

I'm telling my agents about this.

They'll shut it down quicker

than the time it takes you to ejaculate.

- That is- - Wow.

You know what, that's my cue.

- I'm for sure, bye guys. - I don't.

Okay, peace and love.

- It's not that easy to write. - Bye.

We believe in you.

I thought "The Reckoning" was way better.

Hey, Kel, what's up?

Kel?

What do you think my strengths are as an actor?

Oh Jesus, I.

I'm serious, I wanna know.

Okay, you're good at making scenes feel real.

You always hit the emotional connection.

I mean, you can cry like nobody else,

- so that's good. - Good, so you do know.

Now can you actually write me some scenes

that show my range?

Kelly, that's not really how it works.

You can't just tell a writer what to write.

Of course you can.

Vin Diesel does it all the time.

I mean, why do you think The Rock was in a hospital bed

for the entire "Fast Eight" or "Furious 11" or whatever?

What?

Look, you play a dick on the show.

Don't be one in real life.

Okay.

How did I ever date her?

Okay, I don't have a pendulum.

So like somebody gifted me this.

I'm gonna use it.

I have no choice.

If I wanna live,

I must involve the darkness.

I must complete the ritual.

With this candle I call upon and stir...

Fuck.

With this candle.

I call upon and stir.

I call him call upon and...

Fuck me.

The lords of fire.

Fire

and the south.

With this sage I call upon and stir.

The lords of the air and the east.

With this bowl, I call upon and stir

the lords of water and the west.

I'm sorry, I have to stop you.

Sorry, hold on, hold on.

How was that?

It was very good.

But there are a couple things that we need to talk about.

I don't really understand your relationship

to the water and the west.

You're just saying them like they're words.

I'm not getting an image on water.

Okay.

Do you follow?

I'm not getting an image on west.

- That was dumb, yeah. - And also, aren't you

talking about stirring something in a bowl?

Where's the bowl?

I don't see a bowl.

Why are you miming?

- Don't mime. - Stupid.

Why would you mime?

Okay, so repeat after me.

Don't mime.

Don't mime.

Don't mime.

Don't mime.

Don't mime.

Don't mime.

You're not going to mime.

Okay.

- I remember now. - Don't mime.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Let's do it again

and remember why you're doing this?

You're doing this

to entertain the people.

Got it, got it, got it.

With this bowl.

With this bowl.

I call upon and stir the lords of water.

The lords of water.

And the west.

Oh my god, Max.

Yeah?

Oh my god, Max, that was,

that was incredible.

Oh, yes, thank you, Lesly.

Did you see how you were listening to the water?

Yeah, I was in it, palpable.

You are on it.

- Yes. - I am really happy

- with what you're doing. - Yes.

Thank you, Lesly.

That's really good.

This is why I work with ya.

With this soil.

I call upon and stir the lords of the earth and the north.

I call upon the darkness,

for only you can halt the attack.

I call upon your forces to take them away,

to take them back.

On the road to evil.

From my home to yours I consent to your power.

For all the days

and all the hours.

Yes, Max.

Yeah?

Yes, Max.

Oh, thank god.

That's exactly what I was talking about.

Did you see what happened to Khaleesi?

She was panting like a motherfucker.

On the road to evil, from my home to yours.

I consent to your power.

For all the days and all the hours.

For all the days and all the hours.

That was better, Kip.

Thank you.

I added that part-

- You could dig deeper, though.

Okay, everyone, that was a really great job.

Chrissy, nice fall, by the way.

I mean, I coulda done more,

but I didn't know if you wanted full Charlize.

Guys, guys, guys, guys.

I have awesome news.

Imagine what we could do if we had

a script by an actual writer.

- Isn't- - I can hear you Dicklan.

Yeah, I know.

Wow.

What's on your neck?

Oh my god.

It's a tat.

My character has tats, so.

That's commitment.

His character's edgy.

Can you guys hear me?

- Is this a wifi thing or like? - Yeah, what?

Okay, yeah, you guys are just being assholes,

like I thought.

I have awesome news.

I cut up some of the footage, just in iMovie,

sent it over to my manager.

You what?

Max!

Oh my God.

You can't just send out unedited, unfinished footage.

Okay, okay, relax, guys.

It was just to my manager and her friend at Lionsgate.

- What? - What?

Max, what the fuck, dude?

You're so stupid.

What, guys?

It's a good thing.

They went nuts for it.

- Wait, Lionsgate? - What?

Yeah.

Like actual Lionsgate.

Lionsgate.

Yeah, Lionsgate, Lionsgate.

And she said that if we put together

about 15 minutes of the footage

she will walk it right into the studio herself.

Puh!

Oh my god.

What's that gonna cost us?

5% of the movie plus her producer credit?

Dude, it doesn't matter.

That's great news.

Thank you, Kip.

No, tell me you at least colored it first.

Yeah.

Well, I thought we were going for

the whole raw, "I, Tonya" thing.

Oh god.

Just 'cause it's raw doesn't mean it's-

- Oh I have this app that makes videos,

they look like super vibey.

Oh my god, it's amazing.

That's still-

- Are we mad about this or happy?

'Cause I don't really understand.

Listen, Max, it is awesome.

Happy.

- Yes, but. - Okay, thank you.

I don't think we should sell it

to the first studio that wants it, right?

We should play the field, start a bidding war.

No, that's, that's actually a great point.

They're interested because the stuff we shot was good.

And if they're interested, then others will be, too.

- Exactly. - So,

I'll finish writing a scene,

and then we could just film some more stuff.

Great, just take your time.

Okay?

Don't rush it.

It needs to be good.

And Chrissy, how did you do that shadow thing?

Oh yeah.

It was extra, but it worked, so.

What shadow thing?

Come on.

What?

what?

I'm sorry, guys.

- I don't know. - Here we go again.

No, like I really don't know what

- you're talking about. - Okay.

We get it Chrissy,

- we get it. - Keep your secrets.

- That's fine. - Okay, bye.

- Peace out weirdos. - Bye bye.

Kip, does she think we're stupid?

I mean, it's like, do you want this thing to be good or not?

Listen, I don't think she knows what we were talking about.

No, she used to do this all the time in rehearsals.

She would phone it in,

and then she would pull out her choices

when the cameras were actually rolling.

Like I would ever steal from her.

Listen, Kelly, maybe she just had a record player

and the light on it so when it turned, it just made this,

I don't know, light on the wall

- or something. - I actually,

I think I have one of those, I can-

- Wait, Kelly, just, Kelly, let her have it.

Okay, you know you're gonna shine.

You always do.

You should come over.

We can practice the scenes.

I would but I have to work.

It's just that I'm so scared.

The scenes are so good and I'm having trouble sleeping.

Okay, yeah, nice try.

Call me if you need me, okay?

I need you.

If you really need me.

And it's gone.

What, is it the mustache?

- Really? - Goodnight, Kipper.

Oh my God, you guys are ridiculous.

I figured it out.

It's you.

I should've known.

Penny, Penny, there is not one single day

that goes by that I don't miss you.

I wish we could just go back

to sitting on the couch and watching TV

like we had all the time in the world.

Because we did.

At least I thought we did.

I know you're angry, and I'm sorry.

I shoulda tried harder.

I shoulda been a better friend.

If I could take it all back, I would.

Penny, I miss you.

I hate you for what you did,

but it doesn't deny the fact that I love you,

and I probably always will.

But maybe our love just wasn't meant to be.

Maybe our love was always just meant to be free.

The way that you are now.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I coulda done better.

I should have done better.

And as much as I wanna see you and keep you,

Penny, I, um...

I have to let you go.

It has to,

it has to end here.

You don't have to be like this.

You don't have to be like this.

What the?

I'm so sorry.

It has to end here.

it has to end here, Penny.

It has to end here.

Did anyone see the weird lightning last night?

Like it wasn't raining, but it was lightning.

- No. - Hmm-mmm.

No, but dude, something really strange happened

while I was filming.

I rolled camera and I'm

- going into the scene- - Where's Chrissy?

It's really unprofessional to keep people waiting.

Hi Kelly.

Is it Kelly?

Unprofessional to keep people waiting?

No, I haven't heard from her.

She's probably still at rehearsal.

Rehearsal?

Wait, rehearsal for what?

She kept talking about some play

she was thinkin' of doing.

Honey, if I had an Oscar for every time I used that line

- I'd be Meryl Streep. - I'm sorry,

Chrissy's doing a play?

Yeah, she didn't tell you guys about it?

She's been busy like all week.

- Every time I've spoken to her. - Yeah, no.

There's no way she's doing a play.

You actually have to have talent to do that.

So that's a lie.

Okay. Thank you, Kelly.

I will try calling her really quickly.

Okay, but not to be mean, but does it really matter?

I mean, she's not adding that much value to the movie.

- Declan. - Dude.

Declan, she's literally one of the leads of our show.

She's not the lead, though, so,

people will still watch without her.

Here we go.

What?

You guys would all get a pay raise, okay?

So don't give me that.

Oh, you are unbelievable. You guys,

you won't believe what just happened to me.

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. - Oh my god, Chrissy, what?

Babe, what happened to your eye?

Are you okay?

Are you doing a play?

- Who's directing? - What?

- Oh my god. - Kelly.

No, I'm not doing, listen to me, you guys.

I was, I was trying to shoot one of the scenes,

and all of a sudden, I don't,

I don't even know how to say it.

Chrissy, we can't understand you if you overact.

You gotta bring it down.

Just like a little bit.

Just give yourself somewhere to go.

Okay, okay, you guys, just listen.

I was doing this scene,

and all of a sudden I just started slapping myself.

Like I couldn't stop.

I was so scared, you guys.

And it was just my hand to do

over and over and over and over.

Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, me, too.

Me, too.

I punched myself right in the chin.

And it's like it took over me.

I only did it once and I think I passed out,

but I decided when I got up

that I needed to use this in the scene.

Ah, you're a fuckin' pro, Max.

What?

That's one name for it.

Thanks, Kip.

Chrissy, are you, babe are you okay?

Do you need me to come over?

No, I'm gonna be fine.

I think.

I told you not to mess with the dark arts.

What?

Oh my god.

Is this Hogwarts?

Okay, you guys, maybe,

maybe, Chrissy, maybe your performance

was just so good that you got carried away.

You know?

Been there.

Is that a thing?

Oh totally.

- Yes. - Yeah, of course.

You're just so in the scene you get lost in the moment.

You're just so in character you lose track of everything.

It's like performance amnesia.

You guys actually think?

Definitely, like a hundred percent.

Totally.

How is there any doubt about this, guys?

I mean, do you not remember season two finale?

When I was under that curse,

the big scene, Universal backlot, right by "Jaws."

You remember?

What?

Anyways.

I really started to believe that I was evil.

I mean, my mom wouldn't talk to me for like a week.

That feels very unrelated.

It's in the same lane, but okay.

Kelly?

Kel?

Yeah, yeah.

A few years ago I trained with the USC diving team

for this aquatic film I was doing,

and well for like a month, I thought I was a diver.

Wow.

All right, listen, why don't we all take tonight off?

It feels like that's much needed.

Kip can work on another scene,

and then we will chat again tomorrow.

- Okay? - Yeah,

Yeah, sure.

Okay, thank you guys so much.

I'm sorry I like freaked out.

Oh my god, it's also like a full moon,

and so maybe I just got like, so in it.

Isn't it daytime?

Anyway, I'm gonna go cleanse my aura,

- do a face mask, just TLC. - Move your,

Move your crystals around the house.

Bye.

- Bye. - Don't go chasing waterfalls.

Okay, bye.

What the fuck is going on?

What?

No, don't treat me like an actor.

We all know that method acting is just

made up shit to justify bad behavior.

Who's being naughty costars having secret meetings then?

Okay, we're not, we're just, we just haven't hung up yet.

We're not having a meeting, Declan.

Shit's goin' down isn't it?

Oh my god, it is.

Fuck, I knew I wasn't tripping last night.

Like I was tripping, but I wasn't tripping.

Declan, this isn't funny.

Okay, it's serious.

Yeah, she obviously got carried away.

I mean, if anybody's gonna do it

it's gonna be a bunch of actors.

Well, I didn't get carried away.

We all know I'm not that good.

Exactly.

No, I felt something weird last night, too.

Okay, I just felt like this wind wash over me.

Did you maybe leave a window open, possibly?

Kip, you know how sensitive I am to this stuff?

Okay, so don't-

Okay, what are you saying then, Kel?

Are you really gonna make me say it?

I'll say it.

Something ooky spooky's goin' on.

oh come, Come on, you guys.

I mean, Kelly, what's more believable?

Chrissy overacting or that she's

boxing with zombies in her apartment.

Don't play to the judge, okay?

That's actually a good idea.

That would make a good movie.

You know, like a bunch of people

go out to make a horror movie

and then real shit starts happening to them.

It feels very meta.

One too many metas.

You know, this is making me think

that that shadow she did, that it wasn't fake.

True.

Oh, Kel, come on.

You saw Alex's tape from last night.

She did the exact same thing.

Me, what?

No, I didn't.

What?

- I didn't. - Wait, are you,

are you kidding?

Are you fucking with me?

No, I'm being,

no I'm being serious.

What are you talking about?

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

You guys are crazy.

Here, let, I'll pull it up.

What the fuck is that?

Wait.

Zoom in and enhance that.

- I can't- - Oh my god.

She does one episode of CSI

and thinks zoom in and enhance it is a thing.

Okay, I mean, it's obviously the ceiling fan.

You guys, they just installed the light

too close to the fan, right?

- Are you serious? - So you didn't,

you didn't make that,

- you didn't make that shadow? - Okay, you know what?

You guys are tryin' to scare me and it's not gonna work.

I'm leaving.

- Bye. - You two are just fucked.

Okay?

You're fucked.

Both of you, fucked.

And let me tell you something,

I don't like this one bit.

Okay, close your window

- before you go to bed. - Goodbye.

Personally, and this is just me,

but I think it's fucking great.

I know.

We are losing it.

Kip, what time is it?

I'm sorry, it's late or early, I don't know.

Look, something really weird just happened.

What?

Chrissy just uploaded a video.

So call Chrissy.

No, listen, she's sleeping in the video.

It's like the camera's moving, but she's sleeping.

It's really fucking creepy.

Come on, that doesn't make any sense.

You can't upload footage

- when you're unconscious. - No, that's

not what I'm saying.

It's just, I don't know.

It looks like someone else is there.

What do you mean?

- Okay, hold on. - Just send it to me.

I'm gonna show you.

Damn, I mean, she really went for it.

I mean, she's good.

Have you shown Kelly?

She's gonna shit her pants.

No, no, I didn't show Kelly.

No.

I mean, come on, Kip,

she obviously just got Max to go over there and shoot it.

And I mean, it works.

It's a hell of a lot better

than just holding the camera yourself.

Okay, yeah, but no, that's that's not like Chrissy.

I mean, she wouldn't do that.

What, you think it's Casper?

I mean, what, who are you, Kelly?

Okay, I'm not saying it's a ghost or something.

It's just, I don't know, it's not like Chrissy to do that.

And it's really frickin' creepy.

Fine, just call the others.

Sorry for waking you, Kip's having a fit.

It's all good.

I was just chasin' the worm.

Who still smokes?

You said worm.

Well, there he is, our very own Dean Cundey.

Who is Dean Cundey?

Dude, he shot "Halloween,"

"Back to the Future,"

"Jurassic Park."

Oh my God, what the fuck is Lesly teaching you?

Don't speak to-

- Okay, where's Chrissy?

He said he doesn't know, he hasn't seen her.

Bullshit.

I swear on my mother's life.

I just woke up.

Do you see-

Okay, wait, wait, wait, Max.

Swear on Lesly's.

Have any of you even tried to call her?

Seriously?

Oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with all of you?

Okay, Max, if she's not with you, then who is?

Why do you keep asking me?

Yo?

Yeah, get in the meeting room.

Okay, bye.

She's coming.

So she's fine.

She's fine.

Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?

I was asleep.

Do you know how many pills I had to take

to make that happen?

A pharmacy worth.

Look, there she is.

- Hey, guys. - Chrissy.

- Hi. - Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Mmhmm, oh my God, you guys.

I had the best dream.

I'm gonna journal it later as soon as

- we're done with this. - Are you alone right now?

Yes, Max, I am alone.

What kind of a question is that?

Listen, a video of you

- got uploaded to- - What?

What video?

I swear, I deleted all those.

No.

Oh my god, the one time I drank tequila.

Wait, wait, wait a minute,

let's talk about that for a minute.

- What? - No, Chrissy,

it was a video of you sleeping.

Yeah, it was like an hour ago.

Wait, what?

Okay, all right, hold on.

Let me pull it up.

I don't.

What videos were you-

- I'm confused.

Me, too.

Oh my God, that's my house.

Okay, who's filming it, though?

Like what the?

Chrissy, you're obviously doing that.

It's not me.

It's like so weird.

Cute jacket.

You see?

Oh my god.

Wait a minute.

You-

- See it's not me. - Come on, Max.

- I told you. - That's not you?

Whoa, what the fuck?

I didn't film that.

What the fuck?

- Oh my god, guys. - Was it?

I didn't film that.

I told you all,

but nobody ever trusts a pretty blonde.

Fuckin' told you.

What am I gonna do?

Okay, okay, we need to calm down, okay?

- Okay- - No, no,

we do not need to be calm.

We need to call the cops right now.

Whoever did that could still be in your house.

What?

Why would you say that to her?

911, Chrissy, now.

Max, Max, this isn't funny anymore.

If you were actually there and you actually shot it,

- fucking say something. - I'm not fuckin',

why am I fucking around tell her to call the cops?

I'm not kidding.

911, what is your emergency?

Hi, yeah, is this 911?

What?

- Wait, shit. - Chrissy.

- Fuck. - Where'd she go?

Where'd she go, where'd she go?

- Where'd she go? - Somebody call her.

Somebody call her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It's not gonna work

if we're all calling her at the same time.

Good point, Declan.

Well, who's calling?

I am, just hold on.

Okay, she's calling me.

Hey, what the fuck happened?

My computer died, sorry.

Oh my god.

Her computer died.

Jesus.

Oh god.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I mean, no,

but they're sending cops.

They're sending a cop.

Oh God.

Declan, Declan, I don't know what to do.

Why did you hang up from the police?

To call you guys back.

This is super fucked,

- you guys. - I don't think

we can help you.

Ask her if she wants me to go over to her house.

I can see you, dickhead.

Max wants to know if he should come over.

What was that?

What was that?

What the fuck?

Shhh, shhh, you guys, guys.

What the fuck was that?

I think somebody's in my room.

- What's she saying? - What's going on?

Declan, talk to us.

What's happening, man?

Is she using the pendulum again?

No, stop using that thing.

Okay, I'm gonna look.

No, no, no.

- Did she just say she was gonna look? - No no no.

No no no no.

- Stay where you are. - No.

Chrissy.

Can you tell her to stop shaking the camera?

Kelly, shut the fuck up.

What, it's making me nauseous.

Chrissy, just get the fuck out of there.

I am trying.

Would you be quiet?

Oh sweet Jesus, what is that?

- Don't put it down. - Shut up, Declan.

I trained for this.

- Oh god, no. - No, no, no.

Just because you played a ninja on TV.

Why do you have that?

What could she possibly do with that?

Why do you have a samurai sword?

Relax you guys.

The stunt guy said that I was good enough

to be a professional.

No, he had to say that to you.

They were being nice.

That was pretend fighting, Chrissy, no.

- Christ. - Shit.

What was that?

Chrissy, what was that?

It came from the kitchen.

Well don't go in there.

Get your stuff and get out of the house.

Get out of the house.

Jesus, Chrissy, what are you doing?

Why are you looking for him?

Run.

Is that thing even sharp?

Um,

no.

Kip, Kip, Kip, you should be writing all this down.

Are you kidding me right now?

Now is not the time.

Don't worry about it.

I'm on it.

Oh you piece of shit.

Okay, you're not getting a writing credit, though.

I'm just saying.

But this is.

- Oh my God, oh my God. - No, no, no.

- Now we're talking, yes. - You should not be allowed

- to play with grown up knives. - Yes.

Be careful you don't stab yourself.

Okay, listen, Declan, tell those assholes

that I can still hear them.

Kinda.

She says she can still hear you guys.

Okay, honestly, I am literally losing my mind.

No, I don't, I don't,

I don't think you are.

I heard something, too.

Declan, there is nobody here.

Are you guys playing a trick on me?

No, you just need to go back to your room, and-

- These pranks aren't funny, okay?

Shit.

Fuck.

I think it's the cops.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

That was way too quick.

Don't answer it.

The police are here, it's fine.

Chrissy, don't answer it.

Declan-

- Okay, wait, wait- - No no no,

- don't put your phone down. - Chrissy,

maybe you should just-

- Just bring it with you so we can-

- Bring your phone, bring your phone.

Also, no more shrooms.

Who else would it be?

Come on.

Guys, I don't like this, I don't like this.

Can someone call the cops?

Wait, no.

Chrissy.

Oh my god, oh my god, no.

What are you doing?

Chrissy, stop doing that!

Chrissy.

Chrissy.

What just happened?

What is happening?

What the?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck was that?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh my god, oh my god.

I just, I just saw someone die.

Oh god.

Okay, I'm gonna call the cops.

That was fuckin' weird.

Where's Alex?

I am never gonna unsee that.

I'm gonna have to carry that with me forever.

Shut up, where's Alex?

- Guys, guys, I'm so sorry. - Oh my god.

- I'm so sorry. - Where did you go?

ALl of my power went out.

Like even my phone.

I don't know what happened.

That was so weird.

Dude, not cool.

What did I miss?

Is Chrissy okay?

No, Chrissy's dead.

Dead?

What do you mean dead?

She's fine.

What?

What?

She's fine.

The police said that she called back

three minutes after the original call to cancel it.

Wait what?

No.

We fuckin' saw it.

No, no, I was still on the phone to her then.

It would have been after you hung up.

What an asshole.

Why would she do that to us?

Will someone please tell me what is going on?

Chrissy was strangled with her own hand.

Okay, you guys,

- this is really fucked up. - And then-

- You know what?

I'm goin' over there.

Oh geez.

Declan, come on man.

That's not a good idea.

No, that does not sound like a good idea at all.

I mean, what if there's someone still in the house?

Who?

And there he goes.

Look, I am just saying, okay, Declan

is a bit of a wiener.

Like, what is he-

- Okay, Max, Max, we get it. - Really going to do?

Why don't you just go ahead and go over there yourself?

- No, no. - You should both go.

This is not fake.

It's not fake.

Oh, Kelly, come on.

Shut up, Alex.

She strangled herself.

That's physically impossible.

If that's not some supernatural shit

then I don't know what is.

Super, okay, then why is it only attacking Chrissy

and not all of us?

Right?

We all did the spell.

Fuck.

It's the fucking pendulum.

Fuck, oh my god.

I was right.

I was, I was right.

All along.

I was right.

Again, fuckin' right, fuckin' pendulum.

Oh my god.

Chrissy.

Chrissy.

Hello.

Chrissy, come on, this isn't funny.

Okay, we're glad you're not dead.

Okay, Chrissy, good talk.

Hold on just one sec, Chrissy, Kelly's callin'.

I'll merge us.

Hey, Kel.

I want an apology.

No, it's, Chrissy's fine, okay?

She just called me.

She's on the other line.

Hold on, I'll just, I'll merge us.

Hold on, hold on, one sec, one sec.

Where is she?

You know, I don't know.

I actually haven't seen her yet,

but this is her apartment, so.

Chrissy.

She's alive.

Wow, she can act.

Wait, how did he get there so fast?

You idiots know we're not filming this, right?

You called us.

Hey.

What is he doing?

I have no idea.

This is weird.

Again, with the strangling.

- Okay, that was kinda creepy. - What the fuck?

I'm calling him.

Do you guys know how dangerous it is to call people

while they're driving?

You piece of shit.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What?

We saw Chrissy strangle herself,

and you were there.

Yeah, I know I was on the same call as you.

No, no, you were there, and she strangled herself again.

Fucking crazy town over here.

What?

Where the fuck are you?

I'm going through West Hollywood.

Well, show us.

What?

Show us.

What?

Wait, he's not even,

he's not even close.

Yeah, I just said that.

I'm still like 20 minutes away.

Declan you need to get over there right now.

I don't know what the fuck is going on,

but it's some weird magic shit,

and just get over there and call me.

I'm here.

I swear to god, if she's fucking with us,

I will kill her myself.

No, something feels weird.

Knock, maybe.

Why do you have a key to Chrissy's?

Max, shut up?

Dude.

She gave me one when we dated.

You are the worst.

Oh my god.

I see her.

What?

She's not moving.

Okay, she's pretending.

Go in there and poke her.

Are you insane?

I'm not going in there.

She's messing with you.

Declan, she's not dead.

Oh my god.

Do something, Declan.

Oh god, she's not moving.

She should have moved.

Fuck.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, why is she doing this to me?

She should have moved, guys.

- She should have moved. - Are you sure, Declan?

What do I do? What do I do?

- What do I do? - Just don't touch

anything and just get out of there.

Okay?

Do you want me to call the cops?

Is that gonna make you feel better?

- Have someone come over? - No, no, no, no, no, wait.

You need to get the pendulum.

Kelly enough with

- the pendulum. - Get the pendulum.

I know it has something to do with this.

I'm not stealing from our dead costar, Kelly.

Just do it, you little piss wipe.

It may be the only way we can figure out

what the fuck is going on.

So do it.

You go in there, and be a man, and get it.

Fuck you.

You guys, you fuckin' owe me.

Thank god.

Did you guys hear that?

Hear what?

- What? - You-

- What, what?

- Hear- - Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Have any of you guys watched a horror movie?

Declan, just get out of there.

Wait, shut up.

I think there's someone in there.

What do you mean someone's in there?

What are we looking at?

Right there.

Right past her body.

See that shadow?

- Right where? - Where, where, where?

What are you talking about?

Fuck.

Oh my god, what the fuck is that?

Is that a guy?

Okay, okay, just fucking get out of there

Declan.

It's not funny anymore.

My god.

Oh my god.

Her body's gone.

What?

What do you, what do you mean her body's gone.

How does a dead body walk away?

I don't know, it's gone.

What the fuck?

Maybe she walked away.

I mean, how did she just get up there?

Holy shit, that was good.

Don't be ridiculous.

They must be working together.

- Don't you dare. - Obviously.

Enough with the whole

it was a fucking turntable and a fan bullshit.

That bitch got possessed and she killed herself.

- Kelly's right. - Or Declan killed her.

I don't know, but something

- fucking happened. - I didn't kill her.

And you know what, Kip,

I am sick and tired of being told

that because I am a woman I am crazy.

We're not crazy.

- We're the only ones who- - Kelly, shoosh,

- shoosh shoosh shoosh. - What are you talking about?

Shoosh shoosh shoosh shoosh shoosh, guys, it's my manager.

Hold on, hold on.

Hey Alissa, yeah.

Yeah, I have a minute, mmhmm.

Okay.

Wait.

You're serious?

That's amazing news.

Yeah.

Okay, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it more tomorrow.

Okay, you let me, I'll call you.

You call me.

I'll call you.

Okay, yeah, okay, bye.

- Holy shit. - Are you kidding?

Do not mute us.

- That is so rude. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry guys, guys, listen.

All right, that was Alissa.

- She called me- - Also, you don't have

a huge problem with your manager calling you

at three o'clock in the morning?

That's when she does her reading, Alex.

Anyways, she took some of the footage over to Netflix,

and they are putting together an offer to buy the film.

- What? - Right now?

- Yeah. - How much?

- Did they say how much? - Are you for real?

Do you think you can do reshoots?

No, no, we don't need reshoots.

They love the footage how it is.

It's raw and tense and gritty.

They're saying 2021 is all about found footage.

- But when do they want it? - How is this gonna work?

Do we get a percentage?

Well, we need to finish the story.

No, no, fuck the story.

The story doesn't really, even really matter at this point.

They just love the energy of it.

All right, but now we need to

- figure out the why now factor. - You guys, did you see that?

What does that even mean?

Whoa.

Declan.

Explain that Kip.

He's obviously making it about himself right now

because this is a victory for my writing, quite frankly.

Guys, something's

- in my apartment. - Declan, what are you doing?

Declan, where is the pendulum?

- Declan? - You guys.

- Is he fucking around? - Declan,

where is the pendulum, you dipshit?

Why are you wearing it?

I told you it was a necklace.

I told you it was a necklace.

You just told me to take it.

You didn't tell me what to do with it.

Wait, do we really think that

this stupid fucking necklace thing

is controlling all of this?

It has to be.

I don't know-

- Kelly. - Guys, guys, Kelly.

Kelly, Kelly.

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

What the fuck is going on?

What the fuck is going on?

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Kelly, are you okay?

Yeah, it didn't end with Chrissy.

It started with her.

I could have just died.

I might've actually just died for a minute there.

Well, you didn't, 'cause you're breathing, but.

I can't die as an unemployed television actress.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, Kelly, just take a breath.

Just breathe.

Do it with me.

Oh my god.

What is happening?

Are you guys all in on this together?

Fuck off, Kip.

- No. - No.

- Fuck you, Kip. - Okay, okay, shit.

Jesus.

Okay, so why?

Why now?

Because we started meddling with this magic shit.

The why now factor.

Guys, the text.

The answers are in the fucking text.

Not now, Brando.

Listen to me.

Scene two, guys.

All right, we called upon a spirit during the FaceTime

while Chrissy was swinging the pendulum.

He's right.

- And I said it was a conduit. - Thank you.

We said I call upon the darkness

for only you can halt the attack.

The pendulum is the condiment.

We must have literally called upon the darkness.

Wait, Declan, you're the one that sent it to us.

Where'd you find it?

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

On Reddit somewhere.

Okay, find it again.

Fuck.

Pull it up, pull it up, pull it up.

Declan.

Declan.

Declan.

Here, here, here, here.

I call upon the darkness,

from my home to yours I consent to your power

for all the days and all the hours.

All the days and all the...

That sounds pretty permanent, guys.

That's like forever.

Does it say anything else?

Scroll to the bottom.

Do people say anything in the reviews?

You don't review a Reddit.

- Alex. - Alex.

Alex.

Are you okay?

In the comments.

Check in the comments.

Does it say anything?

Nothing, just ton of you got rid of my cheating ex,

praise be, bullshit.

Oh wait, wait, wait, here, here, here.

I'm next, I'm next, fuck.

Fuck, hurry up Declan, shit.

How do you undo the curse?

The original.

open a flood gate, how do you?

How do you stop something that's unstopabble?

Isn't that what Chrissy said?

Get to the point, get to the point, get to the point.

No, wait.

It must, it must run its course.

It must run its course.

That sounds like it's from "The Craft."

That's directly from "The Craft."

Well what's the course?

What does it mean?

The author has no imagination.

No, it has to run its course.

It must fulfill its objective.

What's the objective?

Wait,

so we all have to,

do we all have to die?

- No, no, no, I don't think- - please don't say-

- Guys, we said, - What's its objective

if not to kill us then? I call upon the forces,

I call upon the forces,

to take them away, to take them back.

To where?

I mean, I guess the spirit must be attacking

what is evil inside of us?

Like my original script, hold on.

So we have to get rid of the evil

that is inside all of us?

How do we do that?

Or pass it onto somebody more evil?

Wait, you're talking about killing someone.

You don't even believe in this shit, remember?

Okay, no one's gonna die.

No, one's gonna die.

- No, one's gonna die. - It's a little

suspect now, okay?

Max.

- What the? - Declan,

you have to get rid of it.

Yeah.

Max.

Declan, I do not care who you send it to,

just make sure that they've read

the entire passage out loud.

- It's the only way- - Yeah, okay, okay, okay.

that we can break the curse. I'm on it.

I'm on it.

Fuck, dude I spilled my milk.

I spilled my milk all over the fuckin' floor.

It's just, it's on my socks.

Oh shit, oh my god, oh fuck.

It's everywhere.

- Oh, god. - Not okay.

Not okay, not okay,

- not okay, not okay. - I'll put on

a new pair of socks.

Declan, throw away the fucking necklace.

Hey.

Oh shit, dude, you don't look so good.

Oh well, I've seen worse.

Well, hey did you get rid of it?

Yeah, I'm on my way.

Who, Declan?

Who are you sending it to?

Seriously?

I know, I know, I know, but,

I just, I need to know.

Dude, is this why you're calling me?

'Cause I'm trying to save our lives, okay?

No, no, they found Chrissy's body, man.

It's all over the news.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I told you guys.

I swear to God, I believed you.

It's just-

- What are they saying about it?

It still doesn't make any sense, okay?

They're calling it an accident.

That is fuckin' bullshit, isn't it?

Declan, do you think if I woulda listened to Kelly,

do you think Chrissy would still be alive?

No I don't.

And honestly, man,

there's no use going down that road, okay?

Look, this is almost behind us.

I even wrote out instructions

to read the fucking thing out loud, okay?

But why, why would anyone do that?

Why wouldn't they?

We did.

Look, I gotta go.

Wait, Declan, Declan.

Do you think this is gonna work?

Honestly, Kip, I don't fuckin' know,

but we're about to find out.

Did you get this email from the network?

Yeah, it looks like we're all on it.

Dude it's from Bobbie Brower.

Wonderful.

Now on top of everything else,

our show's officially getting canceled.

Dammit.

Fuck.

Hey, Max.

Are you okay?

You kinda look like shit, dude.

No, no, no, I'm not okay, Alex.

Frankly, it's kinda disconcerting to me

that you guys are so calm, okay?

- And I'm having panic attacks- - Okay, okay, okay, okay, Max,

- Max, Max, Max. - Every two seconds.

Hyperventilating likes it's my job.

Okay.

Let's not jump into anything.

We don't know what this meeting is about yet.

What meeting, Kip?

- What meeting? - Bobbie Brower wants to talk

to all of us on Friday.

Bobbie?

Yeah.

Okay, maybe we should all go together,

because I don't really think

I should be going anywhere alone at the moment

or just being alone in general.

Dude, it's summer hours.

Meetings aren't in prison.

Guys, screw, no, it's great, it's fine.

Where the hell are you?

I'm at my mom's house because I got my ass beat

by a ghost in my bedroom.

God mom, you can't just sneak up like that.

I'm on the phone.

Oh, sorry.

- Okay, Max. - Did Declan

get rid of it yet?

Because I'm really starting to lose my shit, man.

And I don't really think I can do this anymore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He sent it a couple days ago.

Okay, okay.

Then why do I still feel like I'm being watched?

I don't know, I don't know.

Okay, I haven't felt right either.

Ever since he sent it, I,

I should have stopped him from sending it.

Yeah, but come on, what other choice did we have?

Yeah, I mean maybe this thing

really does go after people who sin.

- Hey. - What up man?

Hey guys.

Hey guys.

It's so good to see you all.

Yeah.

I'm glad you guys are okay.

Listen, I just wanted to check in

with everybody before we have this meeting with the network.

Who cancels the show of a dead girl?

I mean it's so short sighted.

Well, we don't know if they're canceling us.

I'm sorry, let's just take a moment

for Chrissy's grieving best friend, everyone.

Don't be jealous.

Jealous?

Yeah, that's the word.

Because I would love to be Chrissy's,

what's that basic ass hashtag she keeps using

- in all the photos? - Soul sister.

Soul sister, yes, yes.

How does it feel with half your soul missing

right now, Kelly?

You know what?

We played sisters and the people wanna hear from me.

Okay, has anyone heard from Declan?

I haven't spoken to him since he was gonna-

- No. - Mail the thing.

No.

- Yeah. - Wait,

he didn't respond to the email.

No he didn't, but it's Declan so.

I'm gonna call him.

So

any of you know what this meeting's about?

No idea.

Come on, it's obvious.

When was the last time we had a call with network?

When we got hired.

And when Declan got arrested

for hitting that Uber driver in Miami.

Exactly, they don't just call to say hi.

Okay, he's not picking up.

Hey listen, guys, if it is a cancellation,

let's just play it cool.

Okay?

I mean, realistically they'll probably just

offer us therapy or something.

I don't need their shitty therapist.

I have my own.

Of course you do.

Okay, let's just not give 'em a reason

to keep us under contract out of spite.

Okay?

Otherwise we'll never be able to finish our movie.

What?

You guys wanna finish the movie?

Chrissy's dead.

Kip, it's her best work.

Oh my god.

Yeah, I mean, I do think that she'd want us to finish it.

- Jesus. - She might

even get nominated.

You are the worst person I have ever-

- Are you on your period or something?

I don't know what's going on.

- Fuck off, Kelly. - Okay, wait, shit,

guys, it's time for the meeting.

Okay?

You ready?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

Hey guys, good afternoon.

Thank you for coming.

We've got Bobbie Brower on the line.

Welcome, everybody, welcome.

Thank you for having us.

Yeah, especially now considering everything, so tragic.

Although the show's never been so popular.

Yeah, oh yeah it is.

It's super tragic.

Guys, you know Michelle, from marketing, right?

Okay, good.

Hey, isn't there supposed to be one more of you?

Yes.

Wait, what is, what's this?

This is going immediately, right?

Like as soon as we hang up?

Get it off.

I don't even understand your face right now.

Yeah, where, is, was it, Declan, is it?

Declan is,

making a video.

Yeah.

From all of us to commemorate Chrissy.

It's a goodbye from her "Belle" family.

"Belle" family.

Hmmm.

Yeah, well, that's actually really good thinking.

We were gonna send it over to you guys when it was finished.

Thought it would be great press.

I mean, look guys, I know that you guys were all,

I mean from your social media, very close,

and I'm sure this has gotta be really hard on all of you.

God, I'm just, I'm not really good at that stuff.

You know what I mean?

- Can we just- - Bobbie, no, no, no,

you're you're wonderful.

You're great.

You know, I think that we should just push on

because I know that you know

how valuable everyone's time is

and you wanted to give the cast some news.

Yeah, I did.

Guys, I wanted to let you know that "Belle"

is being renewed

for three more seasons.

- Congratulations, guys. - What?

Oh my god, what?

Oh my god.

That's great, that's great news.

This is so epic, thank you, thank you.

It is, it is indeed epic.

And you did that.

I know, I did that.

Oh my god, what a relief.

You know, we just, we have an opportunity

here to really seize a moment.

We should seize the moment.

- Yes. - This is the show.

It's,

it's a survivor, isn't it?

And I honestly just think it would be,

it would be a mistake not to capitalize on...

Guys, I need to take this call, okay?

Harry, how do I mute this thing?

Just turn the volume down.

Yeah, it's on the side.

The button with the bracket.

Just press that, yeah, go down.

Keep pressing.

Okay, all right.

Brower.

- No. - Um, um,

- No, no, not at all. - Wait, wait.

- I think you forgot to- - No, I said no.

I don't understand how you can't understand

a word with two letters.

It's no, he's a fucking prick,

and I will not tolerate this shit anymore.

- Oh, it's Bobbie with an I-E. - Melanie, what is this?

Is that the?

- No, listen. - Wait a minute.

- Guys. - I don't give a fuck.

I'll put $10 million of my own money into this thing

to crush that fucking guy's spirit.

Do you understand what

- I'm saying? - No no no no no.

- Oh no no no no no. - I don't even care-

- No, Bobbie. - No, stop, no.

- What is this crap? - Stop, just throw it out.

You're muted, she can't hear you.

What?

Oh, it's from that asshole, okay.

She didn't mean that.

You know what?

This is already more than I've talked

to anyone I've ever fucked, male or female, okay?

So I'm bored.

I'm bored with you.

I'm bored with this conversation.

All right, just write something up

that I can sign on Monday.

And if I feel like it, I'll fucking do it.

And if not, you can go yourself.

Declan, what the fuck did you do?

- You sent it to Bobbie? - Really?

No no no no no.

Can you do that for me?

I hope it ruins your fucking weekend.

Goodbye.

So inspiring.

Harry, you can't let her read that.

Please do not let her read that.

Wait, you can hear us?

Yeah.

All right, what the fuck is this?

Oh no, please don't.

I call upon the darkness for only you can halt the attack.

Oooo.

I call upon your forces to take them away.

To take them back evil from my home to yours

- We're fucked. - Days and hours.

Why does every fucking actor

think that they can write poetry?

Oh my god.

Where did he buy this?

From like a crafting hobo?

Oh this is...

Did we just hear that again?

Oh fuck, it's too late.

If it wasn't after us before, it is now.

Oh, we're screwed, we're screwed.

All right, fine.

Hey guys, sorry about that.

I just had to take that call.

So hey, there you are.

Hi, I got your gift.

So thoughtful and honestly too expensive.

You really shouldn't have, you shouldn't have done that.

That was really too much.

Ooo.

Are you okay?

Is this a viral thing?

Jesus Christ.

Fucking actors, man.

Are you guys rolling?

Is everybody rolling?

Scene 12, shit.

Take.

Scene two, wait, scene two, take three.

Three.

Scene 22, take three,

Declan, motherfucker.

I was early.

I just clapped.

I did my thing and I clapped.

We're fucked.

Guys, this is gonna be really great on the blooper reel.

No.

Oh shit, Kevin you're gonna bloody kill me.

It did fall out.

Sorry, lost camera.

Are we supposed to cut?

Sorry.

Fuck.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm actually embarrassed to be touching this right now.

Smells like urine.

Holy god, look at that stache.

No, no, I, this is, I dug my own grave here,

and I love it,

but I'm ready to lick my lip and have it be smooth.

Oh my god, I can't.

It's real, Kip, it's real.

God, mom, you can't sneak up like that.

I'm on the phone.

You can't sneak up on me like that.

Fucking, I'm sweating.

I'm so hot right now.

Mom, we're gettin' renewed, ha ha.

Shit.

It's like performance...

Yeaaahhh.

That was fucking brilliant.

Are you fucking serious?

More vodka.

That's great.

Oh my god, guys, I wasn't rolling.

I wasn't rolling.

Yes, did you build that monologue?

Did you build it?

I'm gonna.

No you did not build the monologue.

Build the fucking monologue, Max.

Are we gonna get an X rating from all of our fuck yous?

It's a lot of fucks.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

You guys, I don't really know how to work this.

How do I hang up?