Original subtitles

Come. Come, come, come, come, come, come.

OK.

Look.

Oh, shit. Shit.

It's locked.

How're we gonna get in?

Shit.

Got an idea.

Watch out. Sara, stop!

There's a key, you idiot.

OK, let's do this thing.

Sara's kids have these.

Toy smart watches with a walkie-talkie function.

We can use it to talk on the day, then get rid of them.

No phone records. Yeah.

Nice work, Evie.

Alright. Let's run through it again from the top.

The theme of the party is carnival.

We'll have a ringmaster, clowns, hula-hooper,

fortune teller, and a former punk band who now do kids' parties.

Think chaos.

Very loud chaos.

I pretend to be drunk.

Drowning my sorrows after my recent public humiliation.

Let's get ripped.

Generating more footage for the rock bottom portion

of my phoenix from the flames comeback narrative.

I'll get Jordan to take Sara to dry out in the garage -

or as he calls it, the man cave.

When Sara is in place, passed out, in view of the CCTV,

I'll use my Russian malware that I've installed remotely

to create a loop of the man cave CCTV.

Prepare for take off.

I swap myself out for the mannequin, hidden the previous evening by Amy,

and then head upstairs.

Remember, you have to lock the outside door,

so no-one comes in by accident.

Rewind.

I set off again and remember to lock the door.

Sara puts the mannequin in place

and makes her way via the maid's staircase...

Where there is no CCTV.

..to the second floor of the house to the master bedroom,

where, thanks to me, she will find everything she needs

ready to crack the safe in the walk-in-robe.

On the cue of the band playing...

..Sara will start drilling.

Wait, why do I have to drill? Oh, my God.

Ah, you are the least obvious suspect.

Because you're rich and white,

and have no close connections to anyone in my house.

Yes, no, I mean, it's your necklace.

Why don't you just leave it somewhere and I just lift it?

It has to look like a real robbery, Sara, obviously.

And Jeannie wants the necklace locked in the safe all the time now,

since your party.

Oh, yeah. Keep going.

So while you're upstairs, the rest of us stay outside

to be caught on camera.

Our collective alibi.

Meanwhile, I have an open bar where there are many entry points

to the rest of the house,

making narrowing down suspects much harder for police down the line.

Sara finishes drilling, lines up the lock,

opening up the safe and takes the necklace.

Then, on the cue of the band playing Happy Birthday,

Sara will go back downstairs and replace herself.

Sara takes her position back on the couch.

The egg is back in the basket.

And I'll turn off the loop and head on over to Roxanne's.

While I check in on Sara.

Do you have it?

Sara gives me the necklace and I tuck it into my trousers.

Birdie makes a sound complaint at the front door.

I'm here to make a noise complaint.

I insist you come in for a cup of tea and a biscuit in the kitchen.

I put my bag down, ready for the handover.

Birdie leaves. Birthday burglary complete.

The end!

We still have to pack up, cover our tracks.

Yes, now what will bring us down is what we do afterwards.

Nobody can spend the money quickly.

That is how people get caught. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Birdie.

But we'll have done the hard part. We'll have our ten million dollars.

No, we'll have a very hot, extremely expensive one-of-a-kind necklace.

And a new problem. What's that?

Who's going to sell it? Exactly.

Who's our fence? What the fuck's a fence?

We need a serious criminal.

Someone with the right connections

to get us our 10 million plus commission.

That is important.

I can't have my share going below two million,

otherwise what the fuck am I doing this for?

You know, Harry the Hammer owes me a favour.

What? Are you joking?

Didn't he dispatch his enemies with a claw hammer?

Oh, darling, that was years ago. He's like a pussycat now.

Oh, OK, I think we can all agree

no-one with a history of whacking people.

Yeah. We need someone we know we can trust.

To bring into the circle of trust. We must know someone like that.

Sure, we know so many people like that.

Maybe Jordan would know somebody. Rack off, Sara.

Jordan's a white collar criminal, not some lowlife.

If we haven't got a fence

willing to take it off our hands for cash money up front,

then there's no point in doing any of this.

Guess I have to start looking for another job.

What? Why would you do that?

For money.

Oh, you've still got Nick's bribe money.

That'll see you through.

But when that runs out?

I need to keep sending money home.

By then we'll have done the heist.

Birdie just said we can't spend that money fast.

Oh. That doesn't apply to me.

And why not?

Because I'm rich, Evie.

No-one knows where I get my money from.

# I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you

# I know you were right

# Believing for so long

# I'm all out of love

# What am I without you?

# I can't be too late

# To say that I was so wrong

# I'm so lost without you

# I know you were right

# Believing for so, so long. #

Whoo!

Whoo! You still got it.

You still got it, Amy.

You realise as soon as the cops are looking at a robbery here,

you'll be found out as an over-stayer.

They'll put you in a detention centre, maybe for a while.

I know.

I'm actually going home.

God, I'm so sorry I didn't do more.

You know, I didn't know what my life would be like without you

and I didn't want to find out.

That's alright. We had a good run, huh?

You were an OK boss.

Better than those arseholes that we worked for in the beginning, remember?

Oh, my God.

You know, I would look after you forever, if I could.

This is better. It's not you looking after me.

It's us doing something together.

So find someone to sell that necklace, OK?

OK. OK.

Whoo! Yeah!

# Ba-da-ba-ba-ba! #

Thursday? That's wonderful.

Rae!

So good to see you.

It's been ages.

Oh, darling, I've been in the Riviera, and let me tell you,

there are no clinics in Europe as good as yours.

Ohh. Anyway, I've been meaning to call.

I'm actually having another one of my little trunk sales tonight.

You, um...want to come over for a private show?

I would love that. Brilliant.

Now, um...how're you doing, love?

I...I heard about Jordan's arrest.

You know, I've been through it all with Rocco.

You have just gotta keep your cool.

Thanks, Rae. It's been tough, but I'm coming out swinging.

Of course you have, darling. You're a tough broad like me.

But if there's anything that I can do,

you just pick up the dog and bone, alright?

There is something I'd love to run by you.

Well, come through, we'll have a chat before your treatment.

Oh! OK.

Did I do good or what?

Sorry, English. Rae, it's perfect.

Her husband is an accountant for the mob,

but he's not a heavyweight,

and she is connected, but no danger of any smashy-smashy.

Well, I trust Rae because I've been buying handbags

that fell off the back of a truck from her for years,

and in all that time, not one fake.

And all the girls who work for Rae love her.

No-one has a bad word to say about her.

And that really means something.

OK, girls! Hello, Rae!

Well, this is a bit of fun, isn't it?

As I always say, nothing brings people together

like a little criminal conspiracy.

Right, now who wants to pour the champagne

while you fill me in on the finer points of this daring escapade?

Thank you, Evie.

So, we have a $16 million necklace that's in a safe.

Owned by a witch that's just begging to be liberated.

How very Wizard of Oz. Do go on.

Ah, there.

Not too bad. Very good.

Hope Garth doesn't notice.

He's never in here.

Neither are you.

How's Melanie?

She's good.

I've decided to do an article about you and Melanie for my website.

Sara, no.

'Love your nanny' was the start of all of my problems.

What...what do you mean?

My husband saw your posts.

Made him think that I was hiding things from him.

I was.

What were you hiding?

It's hard.

Complicated.

I'm going to do something to fix it.

We're about to do a heist

because you can't afford to even pay me.

Oh, yeah.

But Sara to the rescue?

You're always like, "I got this. I got this."

Sara, you don't got this.

Oh, my God.

Am I the worst? Yes.

You are.

# Beautiful girl I'm a beautiful girl. #

Yes, I am.

Mum's getting on well with the kids.

Mm, so touching.

Roxanne. What do you want me to say?

I want you to say Mum can live with you if I get put away.

Are you joking?

It's not unreasonable to want my mum looked after.

It is totally unreasonable to ask me to look after her.

She hates me. Look at it like this.

You want to keep a hold of that necklace,

looking after Mum is your best option.

She goes, it goes.

Just saying. You know what?

We're having this party tomorrow for the boys.

But after that, it is over.

I want a divorce. Rox...

No. I want a man that fights for me.

I need an equal to walk beside me, not someone who drags me down.

Sara, we need to talk. Yeah, I know.

But do we have to do it now?

Are you leaving me? What? No!

Why would you say that?

Tonight I went to pay for dinner, for our children,

and my card was declined.

All my cards were declined.

And then I checked our joint bank account.

It's empty. Shit.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

This is some kind of tactic, isn't it?

You've hired some shark divorce lawyer,

'cause you want me to know how trapped I am,

as if I didn't know already...

No, that is absolutely not what is happening.

Don't you dare leave me for that fucking wanker Nick.

What? Eww. No, of course not.

Don't say it like it's ridiculous. I know you fucked him.

Everyone on the internet knows you fucked him.

I fucked him.

And it was a mistake.

I'm so sorry, Garth.

So where's the money, Sara?

What?

Well, if this isn't a tactic, then it's something else.

What is it?

It's a situation. An event.

A series of events creating a situation.

Sara, are you broke?

No. No.

No, it's a...cashflow problem.

Cashflow?

You blew through your entire inheritance, didn't you?

You spent it all on that stupid website.

This whole time you've been telling me

that I'm the colossal fuck-up and failure and you blew all that money?

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.

Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

I really, really, really believe they are.

It's too much, Birdie.

Nonsense, darling, it's a freebie from Roxanne.

Today's the last day before the voucher expires.

Well, why don't you use it?

I told you, I've got a mountain of paperwork.

Besides, it's like Oprah says, this is your chance to practise receiving.

Come on. Go on, you have a great day at the spa.

Off you go. Come back sparkling like a diamond.

Thank you. Bye, darling!

Bye.

Oh, that's pretty, isn't it? You fellas think you could do that?

Hi.

How are my boys?

Fantastic. Excited.

You're going to have the best day ever, my boys.

The very best.

Come on. Let's have a go at the photo booth.

Ah!

Kids, why aren't you ready to go?

Mum's being weird again.

Have you been taking drugs?

Evie.

You know what your problem is? You worry too much.

I got this.

Oop. Oh.

Ah, that was nice.

Hello! Hi.

Welcome! Welcome!

I'll put it with the other presents.

Power Range Rovers are go!

Ah, I'll take Ollie to look at the animals.

Roger.

Hello!

Look at all the mummies. Hi, Sara.

Fuck. What are you doing here? Slow your roll, I was invited.

Oh, sure, you were invited to a six-year-old's birthday party.

I'm calling security. Roxanne!

Jordan invited me. We hit it off at the art show.

He has great taste, and wants to buy some of my work.

Sorry, ladies, I slept with her once and now she won't leave me alone.

He is obsessed with me.

You are literally the first person to watch all of my Instagram stories.

That is a fucking fabrication.

Can you just leave? Please, Nick. My kids are here.

I don't think so.

Ah... It's not what it looks like.

Garth.

Everyone sees through you eventually, Sara.

It's so fucking tragic.

Isn't it time for you to have a drink?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Sara, are you alright?

Yes, yes. Mocktails.

She's good.

# I'm a catch But I never get caught

# Mister Right knows I'm never wrong

# So delightful, can't stop the charm

# Oh, you wanna try? OK, twist my arm

# I'm so flexible

# Keep it fluid like my music when it's sexual

# Know you like it when I do it all sensual

# Flow's menstrual

# Lyrics you might find reprehensible

# Gotta a hundred other honeys and a bulletproof heart

# You want a shot? Whip out the card

# Put it on your Amex Let's hit that hard

# You wanna talk? Debit or charge?

# My time is money You got no sense

# You in the closet like Michael Pence

# You ain't my type I do not like you

# I am a goddess You just a white dude

# I'm the cherry on top

# Got cake, got cool, got ice, got rocks

# And I make your shit pop

# So fresh, so clean Yes, queen, I'm a star... #

Breakdance!

Time to send in Jordan, I guess.

Let's do this thing.

# Cherry on top. #

Have a drink with me.

I don't know how well you know my wife,

but she's literally going to kill you if you ruin her party.

We're the same, you and I.

We're no good.

We're both fuck-ups, Jordan.

All that money fucks you up.

He's gonna divorce me.

Garth.

Hey, you never could handle your booze.

Come on. Come on.

Down we go.

I'm sorry, Garth.

I love you.

Say what you like about her, she's one hell of an actress.

I'm back! Huh? You're back?

Mm-hm. So soon?

One of the most important things

about being connected to the flow of the universe

is knowing when something is truly meant for you.

The day at the spa was a gift from Roxanne for you, Birdie.

I feel like it was meant for you, though.

No, no, no, I talked to the girls at the clinic

and they said don't worry about the expiry date.

Come in any time you like.

Oh, that's so sweet. You really shouldn't have.

But I must. And so it is.

Ooh, let's go check out Roxanne's party. It sounds mega-wild.

Oh, it's a children's party, isn't it?

Mm-hmm. No, I can't stand children.

Walking germ factories. Really?

Mm. I might pop over.

Hey! How's that Aussie bloke of yours going?

Any more cryptic messages? Ooh, he just texted.

Wow. All emojis.

Hit me with it. OK.

The Eagle has landed.

Eagles? No, it was a beagle.

It ran across the grass. Oh, a beagle.

Fuck!

Oh.

# From the top, it's a long way to the shore... #

Far out.

Sara, everything OK?

Sara, do you copy?

# I switch on and it's nag, nag, nag, nag, nag

# But it's cool, my mind's a garbage bag... #

What the fuck?!

Oi-oi, the cameras.

I'll check in on her.

The man cave? No.

If you go in there, you'll disappear from the CCTV

and they'll know it's on the looper. Oh, yeah.

There's cameras there too. We'll ask Birdie.

Birdie, do you read me?

What was that?

Oh, just a reminder I made for myself to do some reading.

Oh. You are good with technology.

Ah, yeah.

It's a message from Birdie.

"Can't talk now, Gigi is here".

Oh, bloody hell, Birdie. I can't reply to this.

It will leave a record.

Gigi is supposed to be at the clinic.

I'll message her through the watch.

Send text to Birdie.

Is that a smart watch?

How long have you had that? Oh, just got it.

I'm going to have to send it back, though,

because the text is so damn small.

What are you up to over there?

Oh, just some boring, fiddly accounting.

How's your text going? Oh, I think I'm getting there.

Ask him how his weekend is. That's only common courtesy.

Birdie says, "All clear. Go ahead."

What does that mean?

Just go from here. Yeah, OK, OK.

Hi.

Get out of my way.

Psst. Fancy a line?

Yeah.

No, no, no. This way.

Wait! Stop!

Stop!

Ha! Look at Sara. Never could handle her booze.

That's what I said.

Dada. Ah-ha.

Whoo!

I haven't done drugs in years.

Roxanne wouldn't allow it. She's too classy for drugs.

I gave up everything good for her. Why?

Exactly. Forget about her.

You've been married the whole time Tinder's been around?

Oh! You've got no idea what it's like out there, man.

Whoa-ho! Get high and slay, brother.

You got any more of this?

Yeah!

Sara. Sara!

Hey! Stop! Sara!

Stop! Hey! Oh! Evie, God.

Thank God you're here.

This is so much harder than F45.

Oh, don't look at me like that.

We can fix it.

We still have time.

OK? Oh.

Oh, no, we can't fix it, can we?

I'm sorry, Evie. I fucked up.

I had a drink and then that combined with the Xanax and...

I messed everything up.

My whole life is in the crapper

and oh, my God, I've become someone who uses words like 'crapper'.

What is even going on?

Hey, snap out of it.

We haven't got time for this, OK? Give me the gloves.

Give me the gloves.

Hurry!

Lock the door, OK?

Don't let anyone in, no matter what.

And do you have some of those other pills in here?

The ones that make you, you know, go up?

Yeah. OK, take them.

And drink some water.

Sober up. Can you do that?

OK. OK. Do not let anyone in, OK?

OK. OK. OK. Go.

Oh.

Sara.

There's something I need to say.

There have been times in our marriage

when I felt something was missing.

I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was.

So to find out that maybe you're not everything you appear to be...

..really took me by surprise.

And Nick? Oh.

That was a shock.

I know you must have been all sorts of fucked up

to have made a mistake that stupid, so...

The point is,

all of this has made me realise what's important to me,

and that is...

..I love you, Sara.

I love you...

..money, no money, fat, bald, driving a bus,

getting drunk and making a spectacle of yourself - I don't care.

I mean, of course I care, in terms of your own wellbeing,

but those superficial things?

They're not important to me. They never were.

Sara?

Sara.

What in the living fuck?

Go away. Everything's totally normal in here.

Sara? Garth?

What's going on? Open the door.

I can't do that. I'm sorry.

What's that noise?

Oh, um...

I thought I'd have a lovely relaxing spa,

and I accidentally clogged the drain with, uh, bath salts,

and it's all...

God, I've made a bit of a mess.

It's really... It's terrible, actually.

OK, well, open the door and I'll help you clean it up.

You'd do that for me? Of course I would.

That's the deal, right? We're in it together.

Now, open up.

I really, really want to, but I can't.

It's not bath salts, is it?

No.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about being broke.

Why didn't you?

Because, I don't know...

That's always been what I have to offer.

You think I'm with you only for your money?

Well, it's a fact, Garth. You love spending my money.

Sara, whatever it is you think you're hiding,

I'm pretty sure I know already.

Except the money, and fuck the money.

It was your money. I'm sorry that I acted like it was mine.

Evie, stop drilling.

How can you forgive me so easily?

You know sometimes when I say I'm going away on a business trip?

Yeah?

Well, I just go and stay at a hotel in the city.

Is that a sex thing? No!

I just, you know, order room service and watch TV.

You know the other week when I said I was in Melbourne?

Yes. I was just staying in the CBD.

Oh.

Oh, Garth.

We deserve each other.

Where are we at, girls?

I'm almost there. Got one hole left.

Let's do happy birthday.

You have exactly two minutes, Evie.

I'm doing my best, OK?

Smiley face emoji instead of the heart eyes,

so I'm not coming across too eager.

Keen to start that apprenticeship,

because that's what we talked about when we first met.

And then, "Let me know when you have time for..."

I'm just gonna make a complaint. About what?

The band. It is so loud, I can't hear myself think.

It's fine. No, I'm going.

It's for the good of the neighbourhood, not just for us.

You're in a very weird energy today.

That text is perfect. Send it.

You wait here for his reply.

OK.

# Happy birthday... #

Oh, fuck! Engaged!

No, no, no, no, no. Up that way.

Up, up, up, up!

Let me do that.

What are you lot up to?

I'm onto you.

You have a great view here, ma'am.

Wait. No, wait!

Don't leave me here!

I'm here to make a noise complaint. You're too early.

It's all messed up.

Hey, you÷

Lady! Lady! Help me! I'm stranded!

Just stay calm. Elder abuse!

Check in with Sara.

Don't worry about Sara.

Evie's up there drilling.

Shouldn't we be worried about the cameras?

Don't worry about the cameras. I took care of all the cameras.

Evie? Evie.

Make them play it again!

Hmm? Twice! For twins!

You want to do something for me, Jordan? Do it now.

Ah...

Are you on drugs?

No. Oh, my God.

Ah!

Twice! For twins!

Oh, sing along with me. Come on!

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you.

# Happy birthday Happy birthday to you!

# Happy birthday!

# Happy birthday... #

Hello, stranger. Hey. Thanks for texting.

Are you at home? Yes.

Well, I'm nearby.

How about I pick you up and take you out for a meal?

Oh, I thought you'd never ask. When?

Five minutes?

See you soon.

Help. Please.

Please, people.

Evie?

Evie?

We have to pull the plug. I'll give you the combination.

No, that will totally give the game away.

Well, this is it! We can't keep this up.

The combination is 10-20-30-40.

Oh, you're joking. That sounds like a dummy code.

We can't do that. Use it or walk, Evie.

That's the combination.

OK. OK.

30. 40.

I can't wait to be alone with you.

I know. This is so weird. It's great.

Who are you talking to? Garth.

Oh, my God, Evie, you did it.

Oh, my God.

Wait, Evie's in there with you?

I can't let you in.

Oh, fuck a duck.

Hello! Gigi! Oh! Hi, Jeannie.

I'm locked out!

Yeah, the party's really great! No, no, no, Gigi.

Yeah! Help!

Oh.

What are you doing here? The text worked.

Dean's picking me up out front.

From here? Mm-hm.

Why? Don't worry about it.

Oh, I'm not worried. No.

It's really... Ooh! Thank you.

I'm up here on the balcony.

OK, go, go.

Evie?

Was that the necklace?

Well... Why did you do that?

Garth is outside. Oh, no, Evie. Garth doesn't matter.

What the...

Yee-ha! Pool party! Last one in's a rotten egg!

No way... Oh!

Yoo-hoo! Come on! Get in!

These parties are the best.

What's going on? Can you explain it all to me?

I think this one's beyond me, darling.

Thank you.

That's him. Gotta go.

OK. Pity.

This was just getting mega-wild.

What the hell is going on?

I'll tell you later. I'll tell you everything.

No more secrets.

I've not had a red frog in bloody 30 years.

Oh, shit. Red frog. Red frog. Red frog.

Oh. Hello. Hello.

We just came to get, uh... There they are.

Oh?

Right, see?

Excuse me.

Mrs Beasley? Ma'am?

OK.

I don't do that shit.

Lady! Lady!

Please! Help me!

I need my shoes and a change of clothes.

No, wait! Don't touch anything! What?

You're not supposed to be here at all!

Oh, nice work, Evie. I didn't finish it.

What do you mean? Where have you been?

She used the combination to open it. What?! You can't do that!

Argh!

Ooh!

What is wrong with you?!

I am trying to cover our tracks!

Oh, my God, you screwed everything up!

Oh. We have to go! Now!

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Hey, babe.

We good? Very good.

Let's get out of here. Buckle up.

Fire! Help!

Garth! I'm here. I'm here.

Where are the children? Ah, here.

I'm onto you, trollop!

- Who wants to count the firies? - Me.

OK, let's clap first. Clap. Yay!

The fire's out, and no-one is going anywhere until the police get here.

We've been robbed!

Who'd be stupid enough to steal from Roxanne Waters?

Come on. We have to meet Rae.

We have to get the mannequin out first. How?

I'll do it. Go, go, go, go, go. Go.

I was helping.

Jordan, search everyone!

Start with her!

English. No-one leaves without a bag check.

Search yourself, Jordie. Might find my missing nest egg.

I don't know what you're talking about, mate.

Empty your bags. You turn your pockets out.

Turn your pockets out, mate. Oh, thank God.

Fuck. We've been robbed. My necklace has been stolen!

Worth $16 million.

Back up, back up. That guy looks very guilty.

I don't even know who he is.

Argh! What the fuck!

I love you so much... Hey, hey! Privacy, please.

Sorry.

Somebody let me out. Hello!

Hello! Oh, you. You. Hello!

Hello!

Hello, ladies. How'd you go?

Wow. You pulled it off. I'm impressed.

So, how was it? Smooth. Eventful.

Well, they say the first job's always the hardest.

Oh, my God.

That is bloody beautiful. Do you have the money?

Do I have the money? What do I look like, a crook?

In a Dolce & Gabbana kind of way.

You know what else is beautiful, ladies?

Ten million dollars in cash.

Oh, and the bags are a bonus.

Just a little thank you for bringing it to me.

Great! Thank you, Rae.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Adios. Thanks for the bags, Rae.

We did it!

We actually fucking did it! Oh, my God!

Oh, no.

Rae stiffed us?

I didn't see that coming.

Fuck. I'm gonna get that bitch.

# All I want is money, money

# Money, money, gimme some

# All I need is money, money

# Money, money, all the time

# Dollar bill

# Cash money

# Money

# I need something just like that... #

Captions by Red Bee Media SBS Australia 2021