Original subtitles

Radar Red, this is Interceptor One.

- It's going down. — The bogey is going down.

Detail! Ten—hut!

Yes, sir.

You, you!

Present, hut!

Present, hut!

Sorry I used the security phone, but I couldn't risk a leak.

That's all right, Max. My golf game's not what it used to be.

I don't know where to begin, sir.

This is gonna sound crazy but I think that we have...

Now, Max, what could be worse than invading Europe?

After you, sir.

- Brief me. - It entered our air space last night

and made a mockery of our intercept squadrons.

And according to the pursuit pilots,

it suffered a malfunction and crashed in the desert.

I see. Was there a crew or any survivors?

Well, the eggheads found the remains of two creatures

and pulled the engine out of the saucer.

As usual, they want time to study.

Has the press gotten wind of this yet?

We don't think so, sir. But we can't keep this on ice indefinitely.

Get rid of it.

Right away, sir.

So, what I've attempted to do here this year

is to instill in you a basic scientific curiosity about the world that we live in.

Sherman... tell me about your science project.

Well, Mr. Roberts, I've done a study on the accuracy and foundation

of the Gregorian calendar in relation to the vernal equinox.

Good. Ellie, Sawyer tell me about yours.

Well, Mr. Roberts, I'm doing the, um..

I want you to listen now.

Um, I'm doing the effects of ultraviolet rays on plant fungus.

That's out of sight, Ellie.

Would you call me Bob, because only the pigs call me mister.

Uh...

You're not getting away with it Harlan!

Why don't you tell us about your science project?

What?

This is science class. Your science project?

I'm working on it.

You're working on it.

Hey, Mike.

Ciao, babe.

How is it that two weeks before graduation

a man of your mechanical capabilities hasn't finished his science project?

I mean how do you explain that?

I've been working double—shift down at Charlie's garage,

and it cuts into my free time.

Yeah. Well, you know I don't make the rules around here, right?

But bottom line, golden rule: No project, no diploma, babe.

Yeah. Well, I thought maybe I could,

I don't know, rebuild a carburetor or something, if that's OK.

Ah, come on, Harlan. You do that in your sleep.

Do something special, something original.

Come on, man.

And don't forget your science final tomorrow.

Hey, man, I don't like to hassle you, Mike. You know that?

Have a nice day.

- A nice day. - Yeah.

Come on. I used to be your age once,

way back in the 60s, when all you needed to finish school was a Frisbee.

A gas mask helped.

- See you later, Bob. - Protest songs, white rabbits.

TNT.

TNT.

Ooh!

Mm.

Ah, free love.

Cosmo says that today is the day.

So get rid of 'em.

Hey, Crystal. How you doin', huh?

Michael, I can't keep this mink wheel anymore.

What? Why not, huh?

We must seek different destinies, Michael.

Our song is over. Fine. Comprende?

No, no, no, no. Wait a second.

Come on, talk English, will you, Crystal? Huh?

Michael, you're more interested in your stupid old GTO

than you are in me, anyway.

Wait a second. What are you talking about, huh?

I mean, whose name is on my fender, huh? Yours, right?

Don't we go out all the time?

- Right, right, right. - Don't we?

Michael, we go to car shows, drag races and junkyards.

- So? So what? - That's not what I want.

Oh, no... So, what do you want, Crystal? Huh? Him?

Michael, I wanna be swept off my feet, serenaded, worshiped like a goddess.

Oh, come on. Come on. Bullshit.

That is exactly

what my Cosmo Romantiscope said you would say, Michael.

Ta—ta forever, monkey wrench.

Romantiscope?

Ellie, I know it's short notice and everything, but I was wondering,

you know, maybe you wanna go to the prom?

Look, Sherman, can we talk about it later? OK?

Sure—

- Gotcha! - What are you do.

- Just ignore her. - Finally! I can't believe it.

Now, I need some information from you, OK?

Will you just pull the plug, will you?

Look, you're the last picture for the yearbook,

and I need some stats from you now!

- Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait! - Look, you know, you got lousy timing.

- I know. - Don't pay any attention to her.

Look, I know it's a flaw in my character, and I'm working on it.

- Now, what's your sign, Harlan? - Pontiac.

"Bimbo Leaves Harlan in Limbo."

Makes a great yearbook headline, don't you think?

OK, news flash update: I dumped Crystal, all right?

- That is not what I heard. - Oh, no?

No.

OK, what do you wanna know, huh?

- Your major? - Yeah.

Major.

Uh... I don't know. Auto shop.

Favorite video game?

World Series.

Are you into computers? All right, how many times have you seen Jedi?

Yeah, and cars. I never saw Jedi.

- You never saw Jedi? - Are you serious?

Have you been under a car for ten years, Harlan?

- What? - All right, what do you like?

What do I like? I like cars.

I like Springsteen.

I like my goat. You know?

- Goat? - Yeah.

- OK, yeah. But... - But what?

What do you do in your spare time?

Cars. Bye.

What goat?

Hey, yo, Mike!

Mike, so what's the dish, Cousin Fish?

Come on, what happened? Tell me, talk to me. What happened?

- What? With who? - With Crystal.

I don't believe this. What, did everybody know about this but me?

Look, look, I seen this Dynasty where this guy got a girl back

with a Chihuahua fur coat, huh?

Vince, she doesn't want a fur coat, all right? She doesn't even want me.

Oh, yeah? Well, what does she want?

I don't know. She wants to be, you know, romanced.

- Swept off her feet. - Swept off her...

Yeah, I'd have swept her off her feet, all right, with a left.

Hey, a girl pulls that back in Brooklyn, I swear, bam...

All right, OK, Vince.

Hey, you're cool. You're cool, right?

You're cool, huh?

Yeah... I'm cool.

- I don't know, Vince. - Crystal.

Why can't women be like cars, you know?

I mean, you put gas in a car and you cruise.

Try and treat that girl nice, and she leaves me in the dust.

You know, my old man says, "Treat broads like dirt, and they love ya."

Oh, yeah? What's your old lady say? Come on.

Ah, my parents are divorced.

That's how come I'm living out here in the sticks with the old man.

- Right. - Hey... hey, what did Sawyer want?

I don't know. Yearbook stats.

- Hey, I hit on Sawyer once. - Oh, yeah?

Yeah, tried to give her this Italian macho bod.

What'd she do?

Poor girl lost out. She called me a word I had to look up in the dictionary.

Hey, psych majors are nothing but trouble, Mikey.

- Lay off. I'm serious. - OK, OK.

Hey, check this out. You know, I put in these new lifters.

- Yeah? - Blow Matusky away.

Yeah, Matusky's a fag.

Oh, that's def, man. That's def! Let's go!

Hey, come on, Sawyer!

Come on, get it out of there!

Get that thing out of the lot!

What's going on, Sawyer, huh?

If I knew that, Harlan, don't you think I'd fix it?

OK! Come on, you're holding everybody up. Get in the car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Motor—head Mike. Show—off.

I don't believe this.

OK, Sawyer, what's going on?

Distributor caps don't just pop off unless you want 'em to.

OK. It's confession time.

I need you to save me from being voted Senior Class Spinster.

What?

Be a boy scout and give me a date.

Sawyer you're too much.

OK. OK, Sawyer. I'll pick you up at eight.

- Be outside, all right? - Wait. Outside?

- Don't you want to meet my parents? - Yeah, outside.

Uh—uh, no way.

Obviously, you're better with cars than you are with people.

Hey, look, Sawyer, if you don't wanna do this, that's fine.

I mean you can go study or something.

Uh, no, Harlan, really. I'll be outside at eight. Fine.

OK.

Oh, yeah, one more thing. Do you read that mag, Cosmo?

That rag? Are you kidding?

Good.

Uh, Harlan...

- What? - The name's Ellie, not Sawyer, OK?

Right. Ellie.

Hey, let's move it, numb—nuts, or we'll move it for ya!

Let's go, Sherman the worm!

Move the heap, gonad.

Get it out the way!

A little bit more.

Good.

Hey, Mikey! Hey, Mike!

This is my kid here.

Hi.

I didn't expect you home so early.

I got takeout here. Why don't you grab yourself a table?

Oh, no, that's OK.

Oh, Mike, I'd like you to meet Dolores. She's the sales representative for, uh...

- Betty Jo. - Betty Jo Cosmetics.

- How do you do, Michael? - Um, hi.

I'm just so pleased to make your acquaintance.

I gotta get going. I got a date. I'll just take a beer.

It was nice meeting you, Louise.

Come on, Skipper, come on.

Ciao, Michael.

Louise?

Boy, you're really out to impress me, aren't you, Harlan?

What do you mean?

Well, breaking and entering wasn't exactly my idea of a first date.

Shh! Come on.

Oh, I can't believe this.

I must have a masochistic tendency I didn't know about.

Doesn't anybody wine and dine a girl anymore?

Come on!

Keep it down, will you? Get down.

Come on, Harlan. Wait up! Harlan!

...wind up, the pitch...

Oh! Strike one!

Look, this may be a really stupid question,

but what are we doing in a junkyard?

- This isn't just any junkyard. - Oh, yeah?

Well, what's so special about it?

It used to be an old military testing ground.

Now they just dump all their old junk here.

I thought you'd like it. I mean, you wanna be a reporter, don't you?

Yeah, or a psych. But what's that got to do with anything?

Look around. Everything here's got a story behind it.

Yeah. You know, you're right. I never really thought about it.

Harlan!

What are we doing here?

We're here 'cause I need a project to graduate.

I can't do anything scientific.

What I can do is restore old machines.

So I figured, you know,

I might be able to find something that I could pass off as my science pro...

Ohh!

Michael!

- Michael, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm OK.

- Say something! - Just get that light out of my eyes.

Sorry.

What is it down there?

I don't know. It's an old fallout shelter or something.

"You can protect yourself from radioactive fallout."

- Michael, what happened? What is it? - Nothing.

- Please keep your voice down. OK.

Michael, I can't see you. Where are you?

Michael... Michael, it's really spooky up here. Please come back.

Yeah, just a second.

"Property of US government."

Michael, I think I heard something.

"To be opened by authorized personnel

only under controlled conditions."

Hey, Ellie, toss me that big light, huh?

OK...

Come on.

Michael, please come out so I can see you.

Hey, Ellie?

OK, that's it, Harlan!

This is the end of the line for me!

What are you doing up there? Look, we gotta get out of he.

No way! I am not setting foot on that ratty ground.

There are worst things than rats, you know.

Oh, yeah? Such as what?

Hey, you kids! Hold it right there!

Jail. Come on!

Oh, God.

Hey!

This is federal property!

Just great, Harlan! Just great!

I'm gonna get arrested and end up in some women's prison somewhere!

- Harlan, Will you wait up for me? - Just stop talking and run!

So, you come here often?

Come on.

Let's get 'em! Let's get 'em!

So, what do you do for fun, huh?

Hurry up.

Stop, you two! Freeze!

Hold it!

- Well, a night to remember. - Look I...

What was that?

I don't get it.

What'd you do?

Nothing. It just died.

Doesn't make sense. I just tuned this thing. What's going on?

Hey, look, don't ask me. You're the car nut.

- Ah! - Whoa! Wait, what's happening?

- What's going on?

- Oh! — Ah!

Oh!

- Ooh! - Damn!

Lucky we're close to town.

Oh, yeah? How's that lucky? Well, because we can walk.

- Not me. - What?

- What are you talking about? - I'm staying here.

Staying here? Why?

First of all, I'd never leave my goat out here, all right?

Secondly, if I walked into town,

the whole world would know I broke down.

Come on. It happens to everybody.

Yeah, well, not to me.

Then why are we standing here?

Hey! Hey!

- Whoa. Hey. - Are you OK?

Yeah, yeah, I got a little car problem. Can I use your radio?

Sure—

- Can I get channel 18? - Yeah.

Brooklyn Boy, Brooklyn Boy, this is Red Goat here.

Do you read me?

Hey, Brooklyn Boy, you read me?

Oh, whoa, whoa. Time—out, time—out, time—out.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait. Wait a minute.

— Mike, is that you? — Yeah, yeah, it's me.

Listen, I got an SOS, OK?

Five miles north of town on 73. Do you read me?

Hey, I'm coming. I'm coming. Chill out.

- Hey, Vinnie. - Hey, my partner needs me.

Come on. We're outta here.

So, what am I? Kryptonite?

- Do you want a sip? - I don't like beer.

Right.

Sawyer and Harlan. Wait till Crystal finds out about this.

Reenie, zip it up, huh?

Hey, you punks, move that piece of junk off the side of the road!

Sit on this, butt—plug.

What's that? Huh?

OK, ease up. This is it.

That's good, Vinnie.

Reenie, not now. I'm not in the mood no more.

You'll be begging me later.

If you're lucky.

Motor—head Mike broke down, huh? Aw. Wait till we spread that around school.

I had a really neat time tonight.

Yeah. Sure, you did.

No. No, really. It was, um...

It was a surprise.

Like you, Harlan.

Hey, Ellie?

The name is Michael.

OK?

OK... Michael.

- Good night. - Night.

- Let's go, Vinnie! - Yo, blasting off!

I thought you had dibs on Sawyer, Sherm.

Look, do we have a deal or what?

Well, messing with Harlan and Tonto, that's gonna cost you.

- How much? - One videocassette.

- Term paper. - Science project.

You got it!

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Aah!

97, 98, 99...

100.

You know, you ain't exactly been the perfect date, Vinnie.

You a exactly been the perfect date, Reenie.

Since when?

Since It's 10:00 and you still ain't turned into a pepperoni pizza.

Well, you can just drift, hum—hole.

The sock ain't fooling anyone.

Poor girl.

You know, I seen this movie where this haunted car flames guys out.

Yeah. I wonder what the hell shorted out the electrical system.

Have a look at the starter. It's totally shot.

I swear, somebody's got it in for you, Mikey.

Yeah. Pisses me off.

Ah! I remember this Mannix where these dudes are after this other dude, right?

So the dudes put a stick of dynamite in the first dude's car,

so when he turns the ignition all of a sudden,

It gets flamed, right?

- Oh, you seen it, too? - Oh, Vinnie.

Hey, what's this piece of junk?

I don't know. I found it out at old Dawson Field.

I figured maybe I could shine it up and pass it off as my science project.

Yeah, well, good luck. You'll need it.

Yeah. Thanks for helping me out, Vinnie.

Hey, no sweat. I'll see ya at the brain fest tomorrow.

- OK, take it easy. - Yeah. Night.

Good night.

Somebody's definitely got it in for you, Mikey.

Oh, yeah? Like who, huh?

Some low—octane type. Crystal, maybe.

Hey, Vinnie.

Holy shit.

- Look at this. - Oh, my God.

Ah!

- You all right? - Yeah.

So, what do you think it is?

I don't know. Could be an engine or something.

Yeah, but an engine to what?

- I wonder what this thing runs on. Unleaded.

- Maybe premium. - Shut up, Vinnie.

Holy smoke, my box!

- What the hell happened? - I don't know.

- Brand—new batteries! - Yeah.

Aw, that pisses me off.

Go get that battery. Bring it over here, would you?

I wanna run some juice through this thing.

All right. Move, move.

- OK, hook it up. - Why me?

'Cause if it blows up in your face, you got nothing to lose.

OK. Come on, move out of the way, huh?

Where should I put this? Don't know. Be careful.

- Oh, shit! - Oh, man!

- Put that thing out, huh? - Put it out.

- It'll blow up man. It's got acid. - I'm getting out of here.

Holy smoke. What's it doing, huh?

- Whoa! - Hey, Vince?

What was that noise?

Hey, look, look, look.

Yeah, we gotta disconnect it.

Yeah, you disconnect it I'll watch.

What's it doing?

- Vince... - Weird.

We're hallucinating, right?

No Outer Limits I've ever seen had this stuff.

What do we do?

We disconnect it. Come on.

- You disconnect it. - Come on.

I'll watch. Go ahead I'll stand guard.

Hey, Mikey,

remember the TV show in which the Egyptian vase just happens to vanish?

Look give it a rest, OK, Vince?

Yeah, sure, I'm cool. I'm cool. Yeah.

Hey, you think we should tell somebody?

No, not till we figure this gizmo out.

Come on, we're gonna be late for the science final.

- Grab that thing. - Ew!

Just grab it Vince! Come on!

Hey, put that on there.

- That's good, that's good. - OK, come on.

It's weird.

Wait a second. That's gotta be wrong.

Oh, yeah? So, how come everybody's leaving like school's over?

- I don't know. - Stay tuned.

- We went two hours into the future. - What?

Vince!

Hey! Yo, Sherm! Hey, how's life in the fat lane, huh?

Vince Latello, comedian. What, are you guys lost or something?

We're not lost, Sherman, OK? We came for a book.

- A car book? A car book?

No, not a car book. A book about, um

um strange things.

- Like Vince. - Hey, sayonara, dick—nose.

- Hold me back. - Vince, take it easy, all right?

Now, look, Sherman.

All right, we just wanna find this book, so help us out, OK?

- OK. - OK.

What kind of strange things?

Sort of like stuff...

stuff vanishing, and then stuff coming back in from other times, right?

And you can see the stuff, but you can't touch it, right,

'cause it kinda disappears.

Yeah, like you, pond—slime, if you flap your fish lips again.

OK, Vince.

Well, you know, that sounds like magic, which is a section...

No, no, no, see, Sherman, it's not magic, right? Magic's make—believe.

Yeah, we're talking about the flip side of reality here.

Well, this is the science section It's about as real as you can get.

What's the title?

- What? - Author.

I don't know.

Well, what's it about?

Monsters and flying lawn mowers and weird kind of shit.

No, no, no, no. See, it's about these two guys, right?

They go into this room, and these things come in and out of the wall.

- Sounds weird, all right. - Yeah, but, see, the point is

when these two guys leave this room, they're two hours into the future.

Right, only it felt like it was ten minutes to the two guys.

You see what I'm saying?

Oh, now, that sounds like we're dealing with a time—space warp.

A time—space what?

Warp. A time—space warp.

- So, how's it work? - Simple.

You see, it's kinda like breaking through the barriers between time,

space and all dimensions.

Hey, you mean outer space?

Yeah, right.

So, what, Sherm? They're all connected?

Precisely. You see, they coexist within the same space

on different planes of reality, that's all.

So, like something can warp in from one dimension to another, right?

Sure, but only if the warp got out of control.

Out of control, how?

Well, Einstein theorized

it would take tremendous power to break through a dimension barrier,

and the danger is that once you unleash the power,

you'd lose control of it.

Yeah, and then what?

The earth's energy field would go crazy.

A chain reaction could start. Weather could change...

And boom!

You're all cosmic dust!

- Hey, Mike! Banks. - What?

We go into a bank, we point the gizmo at the greenery

and bam..., it vanishes into our car. We make a fortune.

I swear, you know, sometimes your pilot light is out.

Oh, yeah? Well, what do you say we do with it?

Hey, it's my science project remember?

I turn it in, get my diploma, I'm gonna kiss this school good—bye.

- Oh, you're pulling my zucchini. - Oh, you got a better suggestion, huh?

- Yeah. I say we sell it to 60 Minutes. — 60 Minutes, huh?

- See ya later. - Look, there he is, there he is.

- Hey, Bob! - Yo, Bob!

Listen, about the.

- You guys cut my science final. - No, no.

What's with you guys? Where were you?

We got kinda hung up in the auto shop, you know?

- In the ozone, is more like it. - In the ozone, blowzone!

I'm tired of you 4—Fs. I'm gonna tell you one thing.

Unless your project is dyno—supreme, you both get Ds.

Hey, I'll take it.

See, Bob, that's what I wanna talk to you about - my science project, you know.

I was wondering maybe if you could come by tonight and take a look at it?

I'm off to an anti—war alumni meeting, and I'm late. Can you dig it?

Bob, come on. I mean, you're the only who'd understand this.

- Hey, don't bet on it. - Give us a break, all right.

All right. I'll be here tonight, grading papers at 9:00.

9:00?

OK.

So, how come you didn't tell him, huh?

Tell him what? We got a door to the twilight zone?

Yeah, you're gonna blow his doors off with this information.

Yeah.

- Hey, you got any change, Vinnie? - Hey, school tax, jellyfish.

Come on, come on, come on. Here.

Drift!

He had to take a leak.

— Hey, Ellie, it's me, Michael.

Oh, hi, Michael.

I was wondering if maybe you might wanna go out with me tonight.

Sure, I'd like to go out tonight.

- Great. Could you bring your camera? — My camera?

I gotta take pictures of something.

Michael, we're not gonna go to another junkyard, are we?

- To a great life. - It's gonna be good.

- Hey, what the hell happened here? - Oh, Mike!

How do you like the color scheme?

Dolores did it. You remember Dolores.

Hello, Michael. It's just so lovely to see you again.

Lovely. Lovely.

I hardly recognize the place.

Oh!

I just knowed we should have goed off to Reno

to get married like a couple of lovesick puppies.

Don't worry, sugar plum. I'll have a talk with him.

You are gonna come in and socialize with your new stepmother!

Do I make myself clear?

Stepmother?

Shh. Quiet, Skipper.

Right!

Burn it!

Anytime, Vinnie. Wait a minute.

Vinnie.

Open sesame.

Watch out, watch out.

- What is this? Night school? - Something's going on around here.

What did Harlan and Tonto rip off from the auto shop?

Come on, let's go.

Who was the father of the H—bomb?" "Boy George."

I don't know.

Now, that's nuclear power for ya.

- Bobby. - Sorry we're late.

Oh, I'd given up on you guys.

We really appreciate this. Here it is.

Well, what is it? Put it over on the table there.

We'll look at it.

Are you kidding? You really don't know what it is?

I'm just testing you guys.

OK. Now watch this.

Press these two things, right?

See those lights? Weird, huh?

Yeah.

Hold this while I pull these levers out.

Then back. Watch the light.

Wow. Pretty amazing, huh, Bob?

- It's incredible, huh? - Psychedelic.

- Yeah. Go on, touch it. - Yeah? Yeah?

Go ahead.

Whoa.

What we should do first is find out what kind of metal this is?

There we go. Do you wanna see my new inspector?

Metal inspector. Watch this now.

Ooh!

It looks unreal

I mean, it doesn't show up on our metal inspector.

I mean, it's some sort of... it's some sort of power plant.

- You hear that, Mike? It's an engine. - An engine for what?

Now, wait a second. Where did you guys find this?

Where did you dig this up?

Well, Michael found it over at the.

Found it at the old junkyard outside of town. Sampson's.

Well, I'd like to know how it got there. I'd like to know whose it was.

I mean, this is generating power and light without heat, Michael.

- How's that possible? - It's not possible.

I mean... at least not on this world, anyway.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What other world are we talking about here?

- Look, this has got to be broken. - Vin, go get that battery over there, OK?

Wait, Bob. Why would that be broken?

Because It isn't broken, Michael, this is older than Earth. All right?

Wait a second, Bob. Just wait until you see this.

- Hook it up, Vinnie. - Oh, no, I'm not gonna hook it up.

- You hook it up. - You hook it up!

- I hooked it up last time. - No, no, I'm not going near this thing!

- You hook it up! - Vinnie, come.

Wait, wait, wait. I'll hook it up.

OK, Bob.

No, no, no. It goes on these things right there.

All right.

- Look at that. - Wow.

Oh, yeah, I've seen lights like this at an Ozzy Osbourne concert.

Can you imagine the advanced alien civilization that created this?

I mean, this Is... this is bigger than all of us.

I mean, it's... this is...

I mean, this is bigger... bigger than any of it.

This is bigger than the planet.

It's even bigger than the solar system.

Wait a second, Bob.

Is this like when you told us we could smoke banana peels?

- Oh, ye of little faith. - Then what is it, Bob?

What is it? I'll tell you what it is!

It's a time—space warp that's created by this gizmo

that will warp something into our dimension

where we could travel through time and space.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah!

Let's call People magazine.

No. Hey, I vote we tell the police about this.

The pigs. No pigs! No, uh—uh. No.

- Come on. Unhook it, Vince. - No, no!

Don't you touch that, Vince.

This is an implosion meltdown.

Whoa, whoa. It slimed out the battery.

- What should we do, Bob? - Do?

I'll show you what we'll do.

- No... - What I'm gonna do is plug these...

Hey! Hey, who hit the lights? What's going on?

Hey, forget it. Let's do it anyway. Come on, guys.

Huh? All right! Whoo—hoo! All right! Yeah, do it, do it!

Oh... oh...

- Mr. Roberts! - What's going on?

The dimension barriers... they're breaking away.

Oh, it is it is a gateway!

- Disconnect it, Vince. - No!

- No, Mikey, you disconnect it! Go! - No!

You don't know what you're looking at. You don't know what you see.

I mean, pure time. Pure space. Ohh!

- Michael, do something! Stop this! - Mikey, stop it! Do something!

I'm at the headwaters of creation!

I feel all the universe in my fingertips. Ohh! All of it!

- No, Bob! - Mr. Roberts!

No! Bobby!

I feel... I feel... feel it! Infinity! What a rush!

- No! - Run away!

Oh, God.

What happened?

A souvenir!

See? It's Christmastime!

Whoo-hoo! All right! Yeah, look at that!

This is like the Blob.

The more power it eats, the stronger it gets. Hey, what is going on here?

- I don't know. - Michael, the lights.

Ray! Ray! All right, do it, do it!

- Hey! - Hey, it's Harlan. Come on, run, run!

Mikey, the warp. We gotta stop the warp.

Yeah.

- Michael, is Bob dead? Don't know.

Great. There goes my D.

What are we gonna do?

- We're gonna stop it ourselves. - What?

Look, if we break the connection,

the gizmo can't reach the power station, rig.

Nobody will know anything.

So, what's the plan?

We black out town.

Black out town. Hmm.

But how?

Blow up the power lines outside of town.

Demolition!

Vin, keep it down, all right? The old man's upstairs.

Michael, isn't this just a bit dangerous?

Forget the danger, man. Think of the fun.

Come on, Vinnie

Vinnie.

Mm...

Vinnie, come on! Come on!

Come on, dust it off, Mikey! Dust it off!

- I'm moving. - Michael, it's coming. Hurry!

- Come on! - The dynamite, dynamite, dynamite!

Dynamite.

Hey, Vinnie, you know what you're doing?

Yeah, sure, Mikey, we do this all the time back in Brooklyn.

Aw, Mikey, come on! I thought your GTO had more meat under the hood than this!

Go, baby, go! Go, baby, go! Go!

Come on, baby. Come on!

Hit the blower.

OK, hold on!

Whoa! Now we are talking hyperspace!

Michael, I don't know about this. This is too fast for me!

- Don't be scared. - Ellie, don't worry about it.

It's just like an E—ride at Disneyland. Just hold on.

- We did it! - All right, Mikey, we did it!

- We did it! - All right!

Yo, brakes!

Now, that was a ride!

OK, this it it. Let's go.

You know, I kinda feel like Gregory Peck in The Guns of Navarone.

- Latello! - All right! Hold your horses here!

Whoa, whoa.

OK, caps to the dynamite, dynamite to the legs. You got it, Ellie?

Yeah, OK, caps to the dynamite, dynamite to the legs. I got it.

Hey, Vince?

Caps to the legs, legs to the dynamite.

Come on!

Hey, good thing I watch TV, huh?

- Come on! Ellie, hurry up! - OK!

I'm gettin' outta here.

- Here. - Hook it up.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm not gonna hook it up. You hook it up.

- Latello, come on! - OK, OK, chill out, chill out.

- Legs, legs, legs, legs! - Come on!

Please, Michael, do it.

OK, get back. Come on.

Ready?

- My car battery. - Car battery. Car battery!

Open! Come on! Open!

Get back!

We did it.

Come on, let's go.

How do we get the gizmo out of the high school

and past the fuzzballs?

- Damn! - Police.

Those maggots. Come on.

Michael, don't you think we should tell the police?

Tell them what?

We flamed our science teacher and sent him into a warp.

- What are we gonna do? - About one to five with good behavior.

- Vinnie... - Hey, this is me.

Yeah, OK.

So... you're cool, I'm cool, we're cool.

- Thank you. Good night. - Good night.

Authorities are still at a loss to explain

the sudden power drain that occurred across the county tonight,

as well as the deliberate dynamiting

of Carson power lines by unknown individuals.

Police have mounted a full-scale investigation

and hope to have more reports soon. This concludes our special bulletin.

You know, I...

I can't stop thinking about Bob.

I know. Neither can i.

I'm really scared, Michael.

I mean what is this thing?

I don't know.

Whatever it is, wherever it's from, it's over with now, OK?

We stopped it. So just don't worry about it.

OK.

Oh... oh...

My parents are gonna have a hormonal disturbance.

I've gotta go. Good night.

Ellie? Ellie?

I was, um...

I was just thinking.

How come we spent four years in the same class

and never even talked to each other?

I don't know.

Maybe because you lived under cars

and I lived in books.

Yeah.

Good night.

Good night.

You were right, you know.

About what?

Just about...

about me being better with cars than with people.

I guess it's 'cause I trust 'em more than I do people.

Maybe you just been trusting the wrong people, Michael.

Yeah.

Yeah, I have been.

Oh...

My retainer.

Sorry.

Hey, Skipper. Hey.

Hey, boy. How you doin'?

Come on. Come on. Watch it, boy.

Shh!

Welcome home, kid.

Where you been?

Who the hell are you?

I'm the long arm of the law. The public conscience.

Detective Jack Nutty.

Hey, I didn't do nothin'.

Hey, Dad, what is all this, huh?

Michael, I told Detective Nutty everything I knew about the break—in,

but he insisted on talking to you.

Well, hell, yeah. I haven't had a real good case in a long time,

and I ain't about to piss this one away.

Know what I mean, kid?

Yeah, it's your job, right?

That's what I like to hear.

Don't worry about nothing, honey. I'm gonna take care of everything.

Now, you're gonna need a court order for this.

- What's the charge? - Yeah, what's the charge?

No charge... yet.

I got three eyewitnesses that put you at the high school tonight.

There's this little business about stolen dynamite.

And where's your pal?

That ex—yippie science teacher, Bob Roberts?

I don't know.

- That a fact? - Yeah, I don't know.

Well, I'll tell you what, Michael. How about you and me

take a little ride down to the station?

- Station? What for? - I'm enjoying the conversation.

- Hey, come on, wait a minute. - I'm going with you!

- Fine by me. - This is our wedding night!

Bring the wife, bring the kids, bring the whole family.

Is it OK if I get my jacket? Huh? Is that OK, mister?

- Fine by me. - Thank you.

Thank you.

- Hello? — Listen, you gotta do something for me.

- Michael? — Yeah, it's me.

Just bring the gizmo down to the police station, all right?

- Bring the gizmo to the police sta... - Just do it, all right?

Michael!

Hey, I demand Judge Wapner!

Mr. Latello, Mr. Harlan, this is Sergeant Jones.

- What's your name? - Oh, our tax dollars at work!

- Look, Detective Nutty, take Latello. - Give me your name.

- A delinquent anyway. - I don't have time for this right now.

- What's your name? - Michael.

Look, just tell the sergeant all your personal information.

- Don't do it. Michael Harlan.

- Hey, that's him right there! - That's him! That's the guy!

Hey, you retreads can kiss your asses good—bye!

That'll be just about enough out of you, meatball.

Hey, chill out, Mr. Spock.

What I'm doing here

Mike, what's happening?

Tell me a little fairy story about this, boys.

You have the right to remain silent.

If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say

can and will be held against you in a court of law.

OK, McCloud.

You have the right to an attorney.

Sherman, you scared me half to death! What are you doing here?

I came to see what Harlan and Vince are up to.

And I am warning you, Ellie, they are in big trouble,

so you'd better get out of here before the police find out you're involved.

But don't worry. I'll cover for you. I'll say Harlan force.

- Oh, Sherman, get out of my way. - Wait!

So this is what they were talking about!

It's none of your business, Sherman. Now, get out of my way!

- What is this thing? - Leave it alone!

You don't understand! It's dangerous! You could wind up in another...

Another dimension?

This is amazing. Absolutely incredible.

Sherman Oh, Sherman, don't, please!

- I can't believe it!

No, no! No!

- Hi, Mom. - You little cockroach.

Hey, what's the matter? I got boogers? Huh?

Hey, kid, why do you wear sunglasses at night?

Because when you're cool, the sun shine on you 24 hours a day.

Oh, yeah?

Chill out, butch. And get a shave.

The gizmo...

Ellie's at school. We gotta get her!

Let's jam, let's jam!

My prisoners...

Where are my goddamn prisoners?

- Vinnie! - I've always wanted to do this!

- Meet me at the school! - You got it!

♪ Go, Speed Racer Go, Speed Racer.

Whoo—hoo! Yeah!

Uh—oh.

Hey! Hey! Boy Sherman!

- What are you doing here? - Let me go!

- Look, I didn't know! It's not my fault! - What are you doing here?

- Help! I didn't know! - Where's Ellie?

- Where is she? She's in the tower.

- The whole school's in the warp! - What are you talking about?

- It's the end of the world! - Cheerful, ain't he?

Look Vinnie, you coming or not? Huh?

OK, OK, OK.

- Where are you going? - I'm coming, I'm coming.

In another dimension like Bobberino

I'm going in there packin'

- Good luck. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

This is no time to be sitting around, sucking snot.

- After you, Iunchmeat. - Oh, no!

We'll never come back!

Uh—oh. Something tells me we ain't in Kansas no more, Toto.

You see? I told you guys. The warp's expanding.

Look. It's people from the past and the future...

and we're all here together!

This is like a.. This is like a crossroads of time and space!

- Yeah. - Wow!

I don't believe this. Do you, Mike?

Oh! Unreal!

Hey...

Radar her...

Come on, Vinnie, get it under control, all right?

Hey, hey danger makes great sex.

- Check you guys out later. - Latello, we don't have time! Come on!

Hey, look! These are optical delusions, like ghosts, so it's cool.

Here comes Latello Yo!

Son of a bitch! What do you call this wah—wah?

Actually, I think you call it a Neanderthal man.

Yeah, well, I don't care what country he's from.

One shot in the cajones, and he's down.

Oh, I don't believe this! I could be at home, watching Magnum.

Stop whining, Latello.

- Come on, let's go! - Whining?

Barney Rubble just tried to flame me out!

Hey! You guys, wait up!

Vinnie, come on!

Hey, scope that faggot in the tutu.

Paisano, we're friends, all right? Just friends.

- Hey, Sherm, what's he saying? - He's going to kick our ass.

Mike!

He's dead.

We just flamed on a guy who's been dead a billion years.

- Hey, Mike. Mike, you OK? - Yeah.

Come on, Sherman, help him up. Come on, OK?

You OK? Can you walk?

Hey! Hey!

Oh are we in trouble.

Oh, no. The warp's getting stronger.

Get down!

Get down.

- Hey, the exchange students. - Latello!

Come on.

- Viet Cong. - Shh!

- We're out. - What?

- It's empty. - Give me that.

- OK, back me up, all right? - You got it.

Get their guns! Come on!

Huh? That's OK. Don't get up.

We're optical delusions, right, Latello?

- Thanks. I owe you one. - Yeah, take it easy.

Ciao—

Come on, let's rest here for a while.

Hey, brown boy, how'd you learn how to fight so good, huh?

Cliffs Notes, Latello.

Just how do you work these things, huh?

Well, according to Stoddard's Guide to Modern Weaponry,

you eject the spent clip.

You pop the fresh clip into the chamber...

pull back the cocking mechanism

and you're ready to rock 'n' roll.

What'd he say?

Come on.

Go ahead. Make my semester.

Vinnie!

Smart, Latello. Very smart.

Latello come on, put it down.

- Would you put it down? - Who are these guys, huh?

They must be mutants. From after the apocalypse.

Let's get outta here.

- Come on! I don't need this.

God! Oh, great. Now we're gonna get flamed by stuff that don't exist yet.

Maybe he doesn't exist in our dimension, bullet—head,

but because of relativity...

Sherman, I don't care about relativity anymore, so shut up you fat toad.

Keep your hands off of me!

Yeah, if it weren't for him, we wouldn't be here!

Now, look, we're almost there.

All we gotta do is get up the back stairs and we're at the lab.

Yeah, or I'm flippin' Bluto.

Come on!

- What is that? - I don't know.

My ears are ringing like The Gong Show. I can't hear nothing.

Whoa! And I don't see that, neither.

- Sherman? - You got me, Mike.

Oh, terrific. The Answer Man is stumped.

This plant has been extinct for 60 million years.

Yeah? Well, I ain't never seen one before.

You gonna make it, Vinnie?

I'm so scared, I'm thinking about God.

It's God—funking—zilla.

Get down.

I don't believe it. I just don't believe it.

I just wanna be home, watching cartoons.

Stop talking, OK?

- Sherman... - Asshole!

It's my allergies. Ah ah...

That's I've had it! I'm going in! Back me up!

- Vinnie, what are you doing? - What are you, crazy?

Come and get me!

Latello!

Aah!

Vinnie!

No!

Aah!

Hey, Vinnie!

Hey, Vinnie!

- Are you OK? - Yeah, I think so.

- Where's Vinnie? I don't know. I don't know.

- Vinnie! - Oh, man.

- Vinnie... - Oh, man...

Mikey. Oh, my arm.

Come on. I gotcha.

17 years of TV down the drain.

Yeah. I got ya. Come on.

- Here you go. - My leg.

Aah!

Aah!

All right, all right! The check's in the mail!

- Go, go! - Aah! Aah!

What now?

We get Ellie and get out of here! Let's go! Come on!

What are you doing? Let's go!

- Ready? - Ready!

- Cover me. Come on. - Go ahead. I got you, Mike. Go!

Don't get too close to the gizmo, Mike!

Ellie!

- ...she's been sucked up. - Sherman, shut up.

Sherman, just shut up. You're making me nuts Sherman.

Ellie?

Ellie?

Hey, look, he's got her! Sherman, he's got her!

He's got her!

- Is she OK? - Man, she don't look too good, Sherm.

Oh, God.

- Ellie? - Ellie?

Ellie, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know. If I only knew about...

Yeah, OK, Sherm. Can you walk?

No, Ellie. The question is: Can you run?

Uh... uh, yeah. Yeah, I can.

OK, let's go. Come on.

We got company!

- Who is it? - Well, it ain't the Brady Bunch!

We're not home!

I gotta stop him.

- Take my gun. - Sherman.

- Michael! - Ellie, Ellie, get back!

- Michael! Michael. - Ellie, get back here! Ellie!

Oh, God. No! Let go of me! Michael!

Michael!

Oh, no!

Michael! Michael!

- He's gone. - Mike?

All right! He's back!

Michael.

Michael are you OK?

Yeah. I think so.

Are you?

I am now.

Hey, Mikey, come on! This is no time for romance here.

Scaramouch, let's go!

You thought you heard what?

Watch out.

Come on, come on! Clear out of here!

This is dangerous. Keep moving! Let's go! Stand back!

You know, Sher? You're all right.

For a wimp virgin, I mean.

Coming from a greaseball like you, I take that as a real compliment.

Hey, look. Listen.

No one says nothing about this, OK?

Yeah, OK.

OK?

OK, you kids, come on. Get outta here.

Easy, easy, easy. All right, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Come on, come on!

So, it's out, right?

Hell, no, we won't go! Hell, no, we won't go!

Chicago!

- Mr. Roberts? - Bob?

Flower power, children. Beatle concerts, anti—war rallies.

- I'll be clipped in shit. - What happened to you?

I was blastin' through the warp on a time tour of the 60s.

I don't know what even to say, man. I mean, trip and trip!

It was?

What's your name, cowboy?

Robert Roberts, Esquire to you, honky.

Is that a fact?

Well, Miss Esquire, where the hell have you been?

Woodstock... oinker.

- Woodstock? Woodstock?

- What's Woodstock? - OK, Captain Kirk.

Well, it's not Boston Pops.

You got an A on your science project, Michael.

- I do? On one condition.

- What? - Get rid of the gizmo.

The world is not ready for space and time!

It's only for such rare individuals as myself.

And the future is a groove, man!

I made sure of that. It's a funky Bali Hai!

- Get in the car. - Easy on the French, Kojak!

We're out of gas.

Well... it's lucky we're close to town.

I mean, we could walk it.

Wait a second. Michael, how is that lucky?

I mean, if we walked into town,

the whole world will know that your car broke...

Hey.

It's just a car.

Right?

Right.

Hey, what are you lookin' at?

Hey, girls. What's for lunch, huh?

Ah!

Hey, girls. Boola—boola.

- Dykes. You little weasel.