Original subtitles

(ANTONIO WINCES)

(ANTONIO BREATHING DEEP)

(HAPPY MUSIC)

(ANTONIO BREATHES HEAVY)

Then they say that this is not the best time to come to the gym...

How, sorry?

No, I say... this is the best time to come to the gym. There is nobody.

- And is it always like this? - (Luca) Yes.

You only find a few retirees, or some trophy wife who is bored.

What category do you belong to?

(CHEERFUL MUSIC)

Hi Antonio.

Love! Already at home?

(Antonio) What happened?

(ACOUSTIC SIGNAL OF A MESSAGE)

Where the fuck did I put it?

Enrico has written to you... He asks if you have already told him.

Answer him and don't do as you usually do.

- I told you not to overdo the sweets. By now it seems... - Love... - It looks like a pastry shop!

Let me do it, please? You had a voice on the phone today...

In fact, let's do this, help me, go. Get the mascarpone in the fridge, come on.

First shelf.

The white one. Bravo, that!

- (Lorenzo) Apart from tiramisu, what do we eat? - Eh, love... now I'm preparing for dinner, come on.

I just have a hole in my stomach...

So let's do this, eat this now. Be careful, it's hot.

In fact, go wash your hands first.

(ANTONIO CANTICCHIA)

(Antonio) However, 80 euros a month is not a lot.

Calculate that there is a swimming pool...

Okay, yes, the tool room. That's normal...

(Antonio) There is also a tennis court, huh! (LORENZO SUSPIRES)

(Antonio) Do you know that I understand that it stays open late?

I saw a story by Paolo... Half an hour ago, it must have been 11pm.

(Antonio) Then we can renew 80 euros from month to month,...

..so we are not bound, if, as usual, we decide not to go anymore.

(LORENZO SUSPIRES)

Love. No!

Antonio.

(Lorenzo) Antonio...

Antonio.

In my opinion, a little exercise is good for us, huh.

(Antonio) I don't want to "put my finger in the wound", but...

(Antonio) With your back problems... Eh?

It would do you good.

It's not like we have to become Pietro Boselli, but...

What do you say?

(Antonio) Love, what have you got? Huh?

Things haven't been going well for a while.

Tell me come on.

At work it's shit, at home as well...

You don't know how difficult it is, how horrible these months have been, the thoughts I've had...

You never realized it.

Love, what are you saying? Sorry, but if...

But if when you come home I smile at you, I make you dinner, I hug you...

Because everything is perfect for you! You are in your world, understand? Not so, Antonio.

Love, but it's not because I don't notice things! And why...

- It's because I try to make you happy! - You don't have to strain anymore.

I don't want you to try to save the appearances of something that no longer exists!

Because the truth, Antonio, is this: you and I no longer love each other. That's enough!

- But speak for yourself, sorry! - And I speak for myself.

Do I speak for myself?

I love Enrico.

We have been in love for a year and a half.

- Love who, sorry? - Enrico.

- Enrico? - Enrico.

Enrico... Enrico, Lorenzo?

But that's a toilet, Lorenzo. What the fuck are you saying?

Are you "babbling" me?

Calculate that I thought it was a passing thing,...

..that it ran out quickly and that there was no need to even tell you about it.

Ah, well.

No, sorry if I ask you...

But what does "a year and a half" mean?

But... from the holiday in Croatia?

Yup.

And you've never noticed anything. "The water wets you and the wind dries you". As always!

Ah sure! So the problem is mine that I never noticed anything!

Lorenzo, tell me you're kidding, because otherwise I don't know what I'm doing to you.

Listen, Antonio: I'm sorry. All right? But life is like that.

It is made up of moments that we cannot foresee, of things that happen like this, suddenly.

Which are transformed.

- And... poof! - "Puff"?

Antonio, it's all over.

- Even good things end. - Ah, sure! So the thing with Enrico was also a beautiful story!

I'm not talking about the story with Enrico.

Ah, why are there gay divorces now too? What more do you want to steal from us on Wednesdays in the Champions League?

- I have to find a home, Cristina. - If you want to lean on me, for the first time...

No thanks. Right now I need to give him a strong signal.

- A signal? - Eh! That I am serious, that we really break up.

Now I find myself a house or a room, I take my things and take them inside.

I'm not understanding anything anymore, Cristina.

She also asked me the other day if I had already started making boxes.

- Already? - Eh, understand?

I, of course, got agitated.

Then he hugged me to console me and in the end we made love.

- Ah, well! - Well...

-Do you know what he told me the next day? -No.-That nothing had changed and he didn't want to confuse me.

- A nice way not to confuse people. - Eh!

Beautiful!

Hello sweetheart!

- What happened? - Eh... - Are you all right? - Yes, yes...

(Paolo) Love, listen, I left the forms and documentation of Studio Pollina to Magda.

- (Cristina) At 15:00 we have Galli, she confirmed. - Ah well. Perfect!

Look, dude, I talked to my friends at the gym - they've never seen you.

- Why? - Yet the trial was free.

Yes I know. Now we have to evaluate, let's see...

No. "We have to evaluate", "now let's see"... Not good! That's no good!

Want to have Freddie Mercury's stage presence at Wembley '86, fuck?

You have to "get your ass like that" "Workout, workout workout"!

And look into my eyes, I say it because I love you. Love You so much!

The husband. What does your husband do? Worker. Great worker. Alright then!

But you do nothing: zapping, slippers...

(Paul) Don't be your worst enemy. Don't be your own worst enemy!

(clears his throat) Listen, Paolo, let us finish the lettuce, like a good guy.

- How? - Let us finish the lettuce... - The...?

- The lettuce. - The lettuce? Come here, lattugona!

Excuse me, huh, but the lettuce I...

Carbohydrates are bad.

(softly) I'm going to the gym, you old shit!

I don't understand why you have to get "lemon" from that pheasant in front of everyone, look.

And when I "made the pole" in the toilets of the clubs, while you also licked the doorknobs?

Well no! That's right, that's the truth, my love.

Maybe this time we caught a less stoned than usual.

Make peace with the fact that it can fit me, once in a while, in life.

Do you remember Fulvio, the one who played Magic?

And then I have Paolo in my office: it's convenient.

Sorry, but why didn't you tell him about Lorenzo?

Denis?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND)

(Denis) Take a seat...

("ALWAYS FREE" MUSIC FROM "LA TRAVIATA" BY GIUSEPPE VERDI)

Let's hurry: in a while a guy will come to see the house.

I guess there's a queue, it's in a cool area...

Ah, but you're the guy in the room!

Come on, let's have a coffee.

("ALWAYS FREE" MUSIC FROM "LA TRAVIATA" BY GIUSEPPE VERDI)

- But is this house yours? - No, I occupied it.

("ALWAYS FREE" MUSIC FROM "LA TRAVIATA" BY GIUSEPPE VERDI)

Of course it's mine.

I inherited it from my mother's aunt, a princess...

I usually rent it to tourists.

But, you know what a drag! Every three days, check in, check out. Open and close the door.

The Japanese who walks into your bathroom and takes your picture of your cock while you piss.

The Wi-Fi password!

I imagine...

The truth is that a roommate would make me very comfortable for condominium expenses and bills.

But I have a bad temper, I have particular habits and, above all, I am a total OCD.

Sorry, what do you mean by "special habits", if I can afford it?

That I don't like having people around who do my own thing. "Dans tous les senses".

Ok.

Okay, look. I would need the room for two to three weeks. A month, at the most.

I probably won't even use it, but I have to bring some boxes.

Apologizes. Maybe I should explain better!

I'm married.

And Lorenzo, my husband...

Okay, he asked me for a pause for reflection, so I'd like to give him a strong signal, right?

Yes, OK. Tell me about you...

Ah, well... I am Cancer with a Virgo ascendant.

I love to make sweets.

- I made the Classic... - No, no, no, what do you understand?

What do you do? How do you camp?

Ah, um... I'm... I'm an architect.

Oh! Architect, how cute.

They are 200 per week, bills included.

"C'est tout".

"C'est tout" in French means: "Go!".

Ah! Apologizes.

- Okay, then we'll talk and I'll let you know! - Sure. - Hello! - Hello.

(NOISE OF A DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING)

(softly) What an effort, what an effort...

800 euros for a room in Montesacro... It seems a bullshit to me.

Love, I told you. Right now there are off-site students...

- Then maybe we'll think about it in January. - In January?! You have to do it now, not in January.

Okay, then let's do as you said.

At the beginning you help me and in exchange you keep the kitchen that my parents gave us to the Civil Union.

I already told you: for the first six months I'll help you! But why do you have to make me repeat things a hundred times?

I'll help you, as long as you...

The time you... get a job.

All right?

Love... Look, but why don't we talk about it once and find a solution?

- Guy? - Guy...

Like: why don't you accept that proposal in Milan?

Look, there I could find a studio where to start!

- No! I don't want to go to Milan, it makes me shit! - Love, it could be the solution for both of us!

- No! - There we could start again together, yes! - No, this is not the solution.

Spend these 800 euros a month, you bleed yourself ... Otherwise we won't finish it anymore!

(BELL RING)

(Antonio, in a low voice) So the money is yours...

- Mavi! - Excuse me! I'm the usual jerk, I showed up without warning!

- What are you doing here in Rome? - Nothing, a booksellers convention.

The usual things: all day eating pizzas.

Hello, "gio '"...

Then. Mom gave me the proxy to sign.

So, guys...

- How are you? - Well...

- No, it's not to mind your business... - In fact you shouldn't.

Lorenzo, I'm your sister, I just want your happiness.

- And, Antonio, you know that I consider you as a brother. - Yes I know.

But can't this situation be fixed?

Joy, we were talking about it right now. A solution is found, don't worry.

You two have always been a point of reference for me. But not just for me, for everyone.

At home we are all worried.

Mom no longer sleeps. Aunt Giuseppina is in church all day praying.

By the way, I've been telling you for years to lock up Aunt Giuseppina in a hospice! "

We are worried about you, Maria Vittoria, who come here with the face of a penitent Magdalene.

All you need is the non-rotting flower!

Guys, please. Ok? Please stop.

Listen, joy, do you want to stop for lunch with us?

-Can't: she has a commitment! - No thanks. I have a work commitment and I'm late.

Satisfy my curiosity. But you called this living cross, this torture!

- But do you think I called her? - But does it seem normal to you, Antonio?

They waged war on us when we got together and they wage war on us now that we break up!

- But what do I have to do with it? - Besides, I didn't understand...

Now Maria Vittoria has arrived... poof... and are you joining forces?

After you always gave him a "cart" behind? But which side are you on, Antonio?

- I didn't call her! - Come on, stop. I came to make you peace, not to make you fight.

(Maria Vittoria) Think again.

It is bad to throw away such a story after so many years.

Lorenzo?

- (Maria Vittoria) Lorenzo. - What do you want?

There are many ways before putting the word "end".

There is a beautiful one: go straight, there is the door.

- Thank you joy. - Eh, thanks. Must! I have done my duty as an older sister.

- But if I taught you what sex is. What the fuck are you saying? - But shut up, you idiot.

- (Maria Vittoria) Let me know, okay? - Yes. - (Maria Vittoria) Cretin!

- I can not stand her! I can not stand her! - I recommend! - (Antonio) Yes, go easy.

- Of course you could treat her better, she is always your sister. - Does this seem normal to you?

Come here, to our house, to break our balls? Mind your cock!

But where is the respect?

(MUSIC BY "NESSUN DORMA" FROM "TURANDOT" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

(ANTONIO SNOWS)

(MUSIC BY "NESSUN DORMA" FROM "TURANDOT" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

("NO DORMA" MUSIC AND SIGHS OF PLEASURE)

(NOISE OF A DOOR OPENING)

(Denis) No! This is the widow's room. The bathroom is over here!

(MUSIC BY "NESSUN DORMA" FROM "TURANDOT" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

The door!

(MUSIC BY "NESSUN DORMA" FROM "TURANDOT" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

(Girl) Enrico!

"Tie '"! Look at Boris Becker that's cool? He looked like Ivan Drago.

Forget it, come on...

- (Man) Will I find you on Tuesday? - Yes. Write to me and let's see.

- (in a low voice) But "hustlers"? - Can't wait to go to my house, look.

(DENIS CANTICCHIA)

What planet are you from?

- Paul! - Denis. But you can call me whatever you want!

- All right! - Denis, this is Cristina, who is Paolo's girlfriend.

- Enchanted! - (Denis) Hi.

Uh!

Sorry...

- How long have you known each other? - From the university. This, love, put it there, thank you.

- Are you an architect too? - No, chartered accountant.

- We met thanks to a friend... mutual friend... - Okay, Lorenzo. My husband.

Ah, that of the "pause for reflection"...

Yes. And speaking of Lorenzo, listen...

They invited us to have dinner with them.

- From them ?! - Yes, Lollo and Enrico. - Ah, so the thing with Enrico is official.

- Okay, but I'm not going there, eh! - God forbid!

That first he kicks me out of the house and then invites my friends to dinner. Really!

So, Antonio, listen to me.

- "Accanna". -You will see, he will crawl back to you.

(laughing) Really?

No, but it was... It was to play down, I was joking. Imagine!

- I'm going to dance tonight. Come with me? - No, we go to the cinema.

- It is very late! Have you done it, Paolo? - (Paolo) A moment.

- Can we wash our hands? - "Ça va sans dire, ma petite femme blanche"!

- I turned it on for you, huh! - Thank you! - How good!

- (Cristina) Paolo! - Yes, yes...

Listen...

By now you will have understood that, in short, here I stay longer than expected...

- Take it easy, honey. You can stay as long as you want! - God, thank you!

"Thank you" for what? Just pay.

Oh yeah. Here... I wanted to talk to you about this, in the sense that...

That is: it seems to me that we are quite nice anyway, right?

So, I was wondering if by chance you could lower the price a little...

No. This is not possible, "chéri", I'm sorry.

I get it. We're not going to dance tonight, but I'm taking you to a job interview!

- A job interview on a Sunday night? - How many cocks though, eh!

I get it, don't get upset...

(Denis) # When I go, when I go all alone on the street... #

(DENIS CANTICCHIA)

Can you explain to me why we didn't take the night?

Why let someone else take you when you can go alone?

- Why do you take less time at this time and you can also sit down? - Always if it passes.

And then, on the bus, can you do this? (DENIS RINGS THE BIKE BELL)

Where the fuck are you going?

(SCREAM OF TIRES AND SOUND OF A HORN)

(Man) Asshole! Are you in the wrong direction, but do you want to watch?

(softly) This is all silly.

(SCREAM OF THE WHEELS)

You are not normal, huh.

(DENIS CANTICCHIA)

(DENIS WHISTLE)

Oh, we did it!

(Antonio) No, guys. Please... Come here! Where are you going?

Trust me.

Antonio, Luca. Luca, Antonio.

- Haven't we met before? - Yup?

- Do not you remember...? - Dunno. Maybe...

- You're still looking for an apprentice, right? - Yup.

- Here: Antonio is your man! - I?! - Yup.

Seems a bit old to me to be an apprentice.

Luca, you need an apprentice, he needs a job and I'm looking for someone to pay me the rent.

- And then Antonio is very good in the kitchen. - What do you know?

Look at those hands! (TOWARDS ANTONIO'S PAIN)

How are you with leavened products?

- Yeah, I'm good... - He's very good.

Okay, come on. Let's try this.

"Voila"!

- No, Denis. Leave the barrel alone, come on. - Denis, wait a minute... - Hi!

- Okay, thanks. Luca, right? - Yup.

I don't know, maybe then through Denis we exchange the number, let me know for the test and...

- What number? We do the test now. - But how now?

There is a week to Christmas and I need someone now. Come?

And watch out for the stairs.

(HAPPY MUSIC)

(Enrico) Oh, Lorenzo? Lorenzo...

(HAPPY MUSIC)

Cri, can we meet? Answer me.

(HAPPY MUSIC)

- Well, did you even work on New Year's Eve? - "Well, you worked..."

I wrote to you a hundred times, you were always busy with Paolo. But look at this!

Okay, go. Open this gift, here.

Okay, go. Luckily these parties are over...

- You can put them on next year! - Yes, okay...

- I mean, where are we going? - You open!

You open!

"Romantic couple's journey for two people..." But who, with you?

I'm not that desperate anymore...

Cri, where the fuck did you take me!

Can I be honest? I'm sorry for what happened to you, I've told you a thousand times.

- But, my son, you are 30, not 70. - Except I'm almost 30. - Enough with mourning!

- Yes, but a couple's journey with a stranger seems excessive to me! - He's not a stranger!

- He's a friend of Paolo's five-a-side football. Yes, but I have never entered a sauna, do you understand that yes or no?

But which sauna ?! This is a classy place, not a fro...

It is not a place where the International of Cattails is celebrated.

Sorry for the delay, but Virginio's bibs did not fit in the car...

Big kiss...

Come on, oh! Antonio, Virginio. Virginio, Antonio...

- Okay, enough with the pleasantries, the coupon will expire in two hours. Come on, love? - Yup.

(PAOLO WHISTLE) High guard, high guard!

- Be careful, the baby is sensitive. - Yes, yes, don't worry.

(RELAXING MUSIC)

- I guess if it's a couple's journey... - We have to do the massages for each other!

It's your lucky day: I'm a champion at making them. I have a PhD just right in that!

So lucky...

Come on, let's get started. Lying!

No, "Pollyanna". On the other side!

And watch out for bulges...

Come.

Here it is.

Do you know that according to an ancient Thai belief our feet are connected to our heart?

(ANTONIO RIDE)

(laughing) Who told you this bullshit?

Oh sorry...

- Come on, on the other side! - Already finished?

Here...

We've been stressed these days, huh? Listen here.

A man's back is like his chessboard...

Ok! You are very good at giving massages. Now what do you say if we reach out to others?

Yes, yes...

(MUSIC BY "DE 'MIEI BOLLENTI SPIRITI" FROM "LA TRAVIATA" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

Are you serious?

- Weren't you outside? - But you ask me for explanations?

- Denis... but who is this? - Nothing, continue.

(softly) Are you going to your room?

(MUSIC BY "DE 'MIEI BOLLENTI SPIRITI" FROM "LA TRAVIATA" BY GIACOMO PUCCINI)

Bravo, Orlandino. My furious Orlandino!

He's good, huh?

You go to your room, here I pay you a rent and this is a common area.

Here we go...

(Donna, from TV) What are you doing? These are my things! But who told you to take them?

(Woman) Who told you, huh? Oh, this is my battery! But how dare you?

- (Woman) But who told you? - (Man) What the fuck are you doing? It was me!

(Man) Go to work! And you, sit down! Go sit down!

(Man) Don't you understand? You really don't get it, huh?

- (Man) We have to sell everything, Alice! All! - (Alice) That's my stuff! - All!

(SHOTS AT THE DOOR)

- Can I come in? - (Antonio, crying) What do you want, again?

- I wanted to apologize first. - Okay, you did. If you don't mind, I want to be alone.

(ANTONIO CRIES)

(Antonio, crying) I can't take it anymore!

(Antonio, crying) I'm not understanding anything anymore.

(ANTONIO CRIES)

I was supposed to have lunch with Cristina, right?

And there must always be this fucking Paolo in the middle of the balls.

- Paolo... Paolo? - I wonder if for once I want to be alone with my best friend?

I do not think so!

Then, not only... Not only that, there must also be this guy...

- Who? - Who? Who? 'I'm fucking Denis!

I do not know. One, a friend of Paolo.

He had to touch, he had to do...

- And it was a toilet. - But no, what am I going to do? He was also cute!

However, I say... I just ask for a little understanding.

But does it take long to figure it out?

What are they? A package that you have to download the first time it happens? Come on!

I don't know how to do it, when someone tries with you...

I feel uncomfortable, I'm not used to it.

It is a lifetime that I have always lived with only one person!

- You know what I mean, don't you? - No.

Antonio, you are no longer married.

You don't have to look for another husband right away.

Before looking for love, you must find yourself. Slowly...

Too many fairy tales...

"Once upon a time...", "... and" they pretended "all happy and content".

From an early age they tell us that, to be happy, it takes two. This is the rule.

Then you grow up and make your own, of rules.

But, honey, if you don't, if you don't understand who you are, what do you want...

You will always end up finding someone else who will do it for you and dictate their rules to you.

Therefore, "mon chéri"...

"Get that pole out of your ass."

But what a pole, Denis!

Now there are only cobwebs!

- Sorry for first... - Shut up.

- But can I tell you something? - Mmmm. - Leave that shit alone.

But I just sell it to you, I'm not stupid!

- Even if I feel it a little on the chapel. - Come on, how disgusting!

- Mamma mia, you really suck! - Come here, big hat!

(Antonio, laughing) Leave me! Ouch! Come on!

- What is this? - (Antonio) Surprise!

We have breakfast because today is my last day.

You're cute, but I still pay you to make the rosettes.

Can you pass me the cream, please?

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- You know I make sweets in here. - Until today.

Do you know that I do ten a night?

If I make eleven, will I stay?

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

Here! Luca gave me the raise.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- Do we have people for dinner? - (Antonio) No, I'm cooking for myself.

It is normal to seek refuge in sweets when one is suffering for love.

- But, usually, they are eaten, "chéri". - But what refuge? I do some tests to propose to Luca.

Look, can you take a picture of me sticking my dick in apple pie?

But if you just bring that thing close to my apple pie, I swear I'll cut it, look!

Then I want to see how you do it.

I need this.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

Hello, Fra! See you tomorrow.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

(Luke) Bring those above, huh. See you tomorrow.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- No, wait! If your aunt comes, what do we do? - My aunt will be here in half an hour.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- Luca, the bowler hats! - But what bowler hats...

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- No, no, wait, let's go to your house. - Are you dumb? I only go to my house to sleep.

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

(ANTONIO RIDE)

What the fuck are you laughing at?

(MUSIC OF "THE BARBER OF SEVILLE" BY GIOACHINO ROSSINI)

- So I got dressed and went home. - (Cristina) Why don't you want to tell us his name?

(ANTONIO'S INAPPUNTO TOWARDS)

What do you care, Cristina? The important thing is that I gave it to someone, right?

(Cristina) Uh, what a lady!

- It was time! - (Antonio) Eh, thanks.

Yes, okay, but who is it?

One! Who is it? One...

So what do you think?

- (Antonio) Of what? - Luca's.

Ah, in fact I had the doubt that you and him...

And of course, "I am the daughter of the servant"? You all fuck him and I don't?

- Did you use all precautions? - Of course! All three times.

Anyway, did you like this "hit and go" or not?

(ACOUSTIC SIGNAL FROM A MOBILE PHONE) (Denis) Gamba.

A notification is worth a hundred words.

(HAPPY MUSIC)

(Luke) So? How did she go?

(Antonio) I didn't understand what happened, look.

(Luca) That is?

- Um... We talked for a while, a couple of hours. - But of what?

Sorry, I'm a little tense.

I mean, let's say I'm a little out of practice!

About me, more and less.

Take it easy!

- Did you tell him about Lorenzo? - Of course I told him about Lorenzo.

- (Davide) It is not an exam. - No, for heaven's sake. You know, I come from a long history and so...

- Rule number one: never talk about exes. - I just broke up, what should I talk about?

Okay, I'm going.

I'll see you!

What are you preparing?

"Rainbow cake".

Are you sure it has to come like this?

Ah, idiot!

A homosexual who makes a Rainbow Cake. Absolute avant-garde!

- Sorry, but what's the problem? - Nothing.

- For a moment I thought you were active. - "He spoke the ozone hole"!

(ACOUSTIC SIGNAL FROM MOBILE PHONE)

This is cool! Are you bringing it here?

But go, I'll have a coffee!

(CHEERFUL MUSIC)

And my boss who looks me in the eye and says, "I want that PowerPoint for tonight!"

I fucking did it to you a hundred times! If you don't make up your mind, how can I be satisfied?

So you have to make this presentation.

Yes, by the evening.

So are we going to you?

(MUSIC BY "MOVE" BY UMBERTO GAUDINO AND JEAN MICHEL SNEIDER)

(VERSES OF PLEASURE)

(MUSIC BY "MOVE" BY UMBERTO GAUDINO AND JEAN MICHEL SNEIDER)

(Antonio) Hi, huh!

(MUSIC BY "MOVE" BY UMBERTO GAUDINO AND JEAN MICHEL SNEIDER)

- Well? - Decent, come on.

Great!

(MUSIC BY "MOVE" BY UMBERTO GAUDINO AND JEAN MICHEL SNEIDER)

"Next"!

- (laughing) Are you stupid? - Why?

TopGun86 is cute, what do you say?

Yes. I think Denis did it too.

- So it's "off limits"? -No, he's not an ex!

-But what type is he, do you know him? - No, never met.

And here I introduce rule number 2 which is: never introduce your friends to chat friends.

- Luca... - Mm?

- Would you mind taking your hand off my underpants? - For what reason?

If someone comes, what the fuck do we do?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND)

But when do you stop with these "My Little Pony" things?

I signed up for a pastry course.

- Why? Did Luca tell you? - (Antonio) No, it's my idea.

(BELL RING)

(DENIS CANTICCHIA))

(CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND)

Hi, Denis. How are you?

What are you doing here?

(Antonio) It's for me!

Take a seat.

- (Denis) Condoms, lube... Do you have everything? - We have it all, thank you!

(CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND)

(Antonio) Oh!

- Thank you! First day anxiety. - But look, we're not at school.

- Why are you here? - My grandmother passed on her passion for pastry to me and here I am.

The stories of the grandmothers...

Enough, huh!

This is a pastry course: the psychologist is on the other scale. The scale B!

(THOSE PRESENT CHEERING)

(Orsola) "Passion".

"Pastry is passion". So they told you.

This is bullshit! Pastry is first and foremost commitment, dedication, precision!

So don't believe those who talk about creativity, who improvise, because a good

pastry chef never does it, and if he does it, it's only because he can afford it.

(ACOUSTIC SIGNAL FROM A MOBILE PHONE)

A good pastry chef... must be careful!

(Donna, from TV) And you, Gemini friends, have never lacked grit.

Cancer. I have been telling you this for several months: this is a year of great positive changes!

Especially from the month of May onwards.

(Donna, from TV) But if you really want to change and take advantage of this sky,...

..you will have to listen to those around you.

You have to understand what really makes you feel fulfilled.

In the second half of the year, some of you will be placed at a crossroads and will have to make choices.

(Donna, from TV) But for now, enjoy this storm of emotions!

- (Luca) So in the end... nothing? - Nothing!

Do you think that one of the two seemed too much the same to me,...

..when I tried to do the things that only Lorenzo liked.

Guy?

Like all those Levante concerts, which I liked at first.

"When he got the tennis monkey"!

All the lessons, the honeymoon in Melbourne,...

..that then it was all an excuse to go and see the semi-final of the Australian Open.

- Okay, that's cool, isn't it? - "Cool" shit, Luca, come on!

Third rule, I'll tell you: no couples or these threesomes.

- No, no, the rules are three and that's it. - You gave me two.

- The third and final rule is the most important. - Would be?

It is an implicit rule. Shut that thing up!

It applies to everyone, even for those who say they are looking for a serious story, who is looking for someone to hang out with.

Bullshit.

I'm telling you this because maybe it takes you a while to figure it out and, knowing you, you also have some shit left.

- Fortunately, you have us. - Yes, the Cat and the Fox.

(Denis) You are free not to trust.

One time. Just once!

- What? - Sex, with those you know on the Apps.

(Denis) Look at him, poor thing.

Puppy, how many guys have you been dating in the last few weeks?

Three. No, four!

Good boy! How many of these have you been affected by?

- A couple. - (Luca) Did they ask you to meet again?

- No. - (Luca) Did you ask him? - To one yes. - (Luca) What did he answer you?

"Maybe next week".

- Here we go? - Now?

Now.

Come? No?

(Luca) Hello!

(POP MUSIC)

(Eugenio) Sorry.

(POP MUSIC)

Wait, wait, wait!

- Aren't we running a little too fast? - Do you want us to stop?

(POP MUSIC)

Anyway, you have a beautiful house, do you know?

(POP MUSIC)

Ah, but is this the bedroom?

(POP MUSIC)

(Eugenio) I'm looking for a serious story.

Except that here in Rome it is impossible to find someone who is looking for the same things.

At least in my opinion.

It looks like a market!

'These people dating four at a time seems nonsense to me.

(Eugenio) In fact I know that I cancel.

(ACOUSTIC SIGNALS FROM A MOBILE PHONE)

(Eugenio) In my opinion these are meaningless appointments.

Personally they leave me nothing, they give me nothing.

(Eugenio) Don't you think?

I tell you this because you seem like someone who thinks like me.

I don't know, you don't seem like a "hit and go" to me.

There was this under the bed.

(softly) - (Eugenio) Thank you. - (Antonio) You're welcome.

(Eugenio) Okay...

- We'll catch later? - Yup.

- Huh? - Yup.

All right.

- See you later, huh! - See you later.

- Hello. - Hello.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

Well. Brava.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

Beautiful clear, good.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

We're not there, Antonio.

You need to exercise more at home.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUES AND MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

Why are you looking at me like that?

Nothing.

- Are you sure you're 22? - Look, "22" is not the age.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUES AND MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(Antonio) Fuck you!

(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUES AND MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - BY GEORGES BIZET)

I swear to you, I'm very sorry, also because I'm not the type to disappear into thin air.

Quiet.

I even thought you weren't going to reply to messages.

- (Eugenio) "There are certain acids" around... - I guess.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

Then the problem is that when I really like someone, I have a hard time.

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

- (Eugenio) Can I cook you something? - (Antonio) No! - Look, I'm very good! - No, I'm busy.

"C'est tout".

- Thing? "Are you" who? - No, "c'est tout" in French means you have to go!

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

(NOISE OF A DOOR OPENING)

(DENIS WHISTLE)

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

I've seen better!

(MUSIC BY "CARMEN" - ACT I: N ° 5 HABANERA - BY GEORGES BIZET)

What the fuck...

Ok.

This is an acetate jumpsuit...

What is this, a tennis racket? What are you doing, the master?

Plan! You hurt me!

Does this kind of approach usually work? Oh! Plan! Cretin!

- How was the lesson? - I didn't go there. - How did you not go?

- You've been playing tennis for two months, you've bought everything and now you're not going? - Absurd, right?

However, as I went, I did not understand why I was not happy.

Do you know what I understand?

There is no point in taking tennis lessons without you!

- You're out of your mind. - And I also understood something else.

- Close your eyes. - Yet?! - Close your eyes.

- Closed? - Mmmm.

That if I do something,...

... anything, even...

... even bullshit, but I'm not doing it with you,...

..to me it makes no sense.

(Boy) Antonio?

(Boy) Antonio?

- Are you okay? - Yup! - No, why do you have a face for a moment... - No, all right, thanks.

- Would you like to go get something to drink? - Come on.

- How come you clean up? - It bothers me to leave dirty.

(Orsola) Will you keep me company?

Listen, Antonio, why are you here?

This is a course for frustrated dads, angry managers...

People who don't have your manual skills.

- I've been working in an oven for a while, maybe that's the one. - Mm...

Yes, well, I must say that this course is not "just a walk in the park".

A walk...

Listen: I don't know what plans you have in life.

However, if you want to be a pastry chef, you have to put in a lot more effort.

Passion is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Bla, bla, bla...

But with passion you don't reverse our bills, you don't support us a family.

If you have only passion, there is no difference between you and a poor woman who makes sweets...

..to hear "good" from relatives.

(Orsola) Do you understand?

(Orsola) Study.

Suda.

And finish cleaning.

See you on Monday. (VIBRATION FROM A MOBILE PHONE)

Still with this phone, Antonio... I would whisk it in the Pacojet!

(Orsola) Look, you can't take him to the exam, eh...

- (Antonio) Thomas? - Antonio!

But is this house yours?

No, I'm just supportive.

- And where do you live? - Milan. - Ah, Milan... Pussy!

No Please! No!

Ah, no, it's not ego! No!

It's my ex's house.

Who now lives in Berlin, with his new partner. So, water under the bridge!

Indeed, I also have to take it away, in exchange for hospitality.

What is it that you are eating in the photo?

- A tiramisu. - Ah, in fact it seemed to me.

Do you know that my grandmother made a crazy tiramisu?

Yes, she made it a question of mascarpone, which is the most important part.

She said that buying mascarpone in the supermarket is not good,...

.. because, if you want a good tiramisu, you can only do it if you make your own mascarpone.

In itself it is not that complex to prepare it.

Of course: there are a lot of variables that can complicate your life.

Like the acidity of the lemon you use, the temperature...

The same sieve, which is the rag, is what is needed to let the whey run.

She always said: "Homemade mascarpone is bono pure de mangiari solu>".

And was she right?

She thought so...

How do you think?

(HAPPY MUSIC)

- I better go... - What are you doing tomorrow night?

Tomorrow is Saturday, isn't it?

Maybe we go dancing, but first at dinner we see Maria.

Who is Maria?

- Open the envelope. She is your mother, come on! -Love, this is an infamous, she will never open.

- But Paolo? - Paolo has five-a-side football.

- Sorry and why did I set the table for five? - Because there is a friend of that whore!

(BELL RING)

- (Antonio) Guys, do you open up? - (Maria De Filippi) You are right!

- (Antonio) The door, please! - (Maria De Filippi) That it wasn't easy...

- Hello! Thomas. - Luca.

- (Luca) Come. - Thank you.

- (Thomas) Permission? Hello! - Come!

- (Thomas) Here we are! - Hello! - Thomas. - Cristina!

Beautiful! I like the house.

- (Maria De Filippi) But this does not take away... - Ah! - Eh, yes: we are very devoted to Mary!

Ah OK.

- And Antonio? - Antonio is still finishing the restoration, but take a seat!

- Thank you. Beautiful table! - Even those who set it, honey!

Yes, I would say yes!

- (Thomas) Do you have positions for the table? - No love. Make yourself at home.

Here!

- Who is that? - Nothing, a chat thing...

Are you sure it's just a "chat thing"?

Come on, Luca. Oh!

Okay, Thomas, tell us a little about yourself. You live in Milan, but you are not Milanese. Quite right?

- Wow, wow! Fully informed. - (Cristina) Thanks, love.

Yes, exactly: I am from Emilia and I am adopted from Milan by now.

- And you're a photographer. - Yes, right. Now I am working for a Foundation.

I am helping with a couple of projects and will be here for a while, until October.

Listen: I have to redo the composit,...

.. but I only find monomaniacs who want to do retrospectives on my big toes.

(CRISTINA MAKES A VERSE OF INSOFFERENCE)

- Do you also take nude photos? - Um...

I do reportage...

Sin.

- Oh, the story of a gift is about to end! - Uh!

But did you make mascarpone, as your grandmother used to say?

- No, I didn't make it in time, but it's still good, isn't it? - Very good!

- You have to give him a hand, so he practices. - "Do you practice"? For what?

Nothing, I'm doing a pastry course.

Among other things, the teacher is just a bitch "with a bang".

She has these two eyes staring at you, they are giants. They judge you!

-Last time she "gave me a big ass" about the fact that she expected more from me. - But who is this?

The "bitch with a bang" has a lot of pastry shops around Rome, she has also opened one in Prati.

She okay, she's got a lot of pastry shops. But, for how many she has, she poses a lot!

- Then she is our age. - (Cristina) she Will be Mazinger's daughter! - How old are you?

One: she is no one's daughter. And two: she doesn't pose at all.

Okay, the best students in her course take them to do an internship with her, in her pastry shop.

Aren't you a little older to do an internship?

The last time you asked him it wasn't that bad, don't you think?

What, are you afraid of losing your favorite baker?

You will mean that we will remain only "fuck friends".

(APPLAUSE FROM THE TV)

Sorry for Luca.

But... so you fuck?

"So let's fuck." I mean, uh...

Let's say it helped me find some lightness since I broke up.

I get it: fuck. (LAUGH)

Okay, it's just a friendship.

- How long have you been with your ex? - Eh...

From the third high school until last October.

- Twelve years?! - Oh yeah.

- Damn! - That in gay years are 84, like dogs.

(LAUGH)

Oh yeah. In fact now even enough relationships.

There is, yes. I took a break too, let's say.

But, boh! With you it's different.

- Um... - Listen.

He will make you laugh, whatever you want, but I feel a connection, I don't know what to do with it!

Ok... Listen, what's your name? Thomas, right?

No need for these catchy phrases, we're fucking anyway tonight.

And tomorrow?

(Orsola) Good, good!

(Orsola) No. No, no.

The refrigerator has ruined this mascarpone for you.

The consistency is perfect.

It's acidic. Too much lemon.

- Shall I put some cream in there? - No, it's to be thrown away.

Exquisite! Bravo, Giacomo.

Thank you!

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

(THOMAS WORDS NOT AUDIBLE)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

(Thomas, imitating De Filippi) Hi, Antonio, I'm Maria.

(imitating De Filippi) There is an envelope for you from an important person. Do we want to open it?

(Thomas) Hi, honey! If you like, I'll wait for you at home later when you're done.

All right? I'll take care of the dinner, I have a few things to tell you. A kiss!

- (sarcastically) Luckily you were controlling! - Yes, in fact I was going. A moment...

- (Antonio) Okay, they haven't burned, they can be used! - Yup...

This is the second time this has happened... in three days!

- But... Oh, are you careful? Fuck! - You came on me, huh!

- (Antonio) Does it burn? - (Luke) No.

- What, are you pissed? - No.

I am disappointed.

From what? Is it possible to know?

- From your attitude, for some time now. - Oh, from my attitude? - Yup.

- Okay, then there are two of us. - I don't understand, sorry. - You understood perfectly well.

- No, I really don't understand. Explain me! - "It's been gnawing your ass" since I've been with Thomas.

- Ah, why are you with Thomas now? - Do you mind? - That's your cock!

- What you do when you're not working, I don't care. - Perfect!

Fuck you, go...

- Treasure? - Mm? - Can you help me with a "shooting", please?

- What "shooting"? - Nothing. One thing for OnlyFans.

I got these new "jockstraps" and I wanted to try them out.

Look, love, I actually have to go out with Thomas.

Look, you don't know how sorry I am not being able to photograph your asshole! What a pity!

"Pas de problème"!

What time did you get back this morning? I did not hear you.

Yes, it's that...

It's just that I fought with Luca because of Thomas.

Leave him alone, that has to do the alpha male, then he passes.

In the meantime, I quit my job...

Ah, well... Exaggerated!

Then we think about it and fix everything, don't worry.

# Paris, oh dear, we will leave... #

(DENIS CANTICCHIA)

- But is this Thomas cooking too? - Why?

You haven't prepared anything for a century.

Thursday you have the exam, right?

You may want to take advantage of this "break from work" to practice a little.

Okay, Denis, I'll do it tomorrow, what's the problem? Anyway, now, this course is not so important.

Ok.

Are you lecturing me with your buttocks out? You're not really credible, look.

Look, I'm not giving you any lectures, understand?

So can't you just be happy for me?

I am happy for you when I see you take on the hard cock challenges,...

..and not when you shit under and run away in front of an important test.

To do what, then?

- The crutch to someone else? - (softly) Okay, bye. The crutch...

(Denis) Always free to frolic... #

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(Lorenzo, from the cell phone) Hi, Antonio. Listen, how are you doing?

(Lorenzo) My sister who is getting married in May and calculates that it will be a very sad thing.

(Lorenzo) Is there anything sadder than forty-year-old weddings? No. Anyway...

(Lorenzo) Okay, in any case you will never be as beautiful as ours. Do you remember?

(Lorenzo) Okay...

(Lorenzo) Mavi is in Rome these days and he was keen to give you the invitation to attend.

(Lorenzo) You know how Maria Vittoria is made of these things.

(Lorenzo) I don't know if by chance you want...

(Lorenzo) I think Enrico won't be there, anyway.

(Lorenzo) No, I'm telling you because, buh, maybe then...

(Lorenzo) Obviously, if you have the opportunity, you can take whoever you want.

(Lorenzo) Besides, I don't know if you're seeing someone at the moment. I do not know.

(Lorenzo) By the way... Okay, I don't want to mind your business.

(Lorenzo) Anyway, if you give me the address I'll give it to Mavi.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT NOISE)

(Thomas) Good morning, handsome man!

Good morning!

Hello.

Look, if you do this you spoil me and then I get used to it.

So? The sooner you get used to it, the better.

- Do you want to come to Milan with me? - (ironically) Yes, okay!

Thing?

It's okay that we've been dating for a while, but we don't know each other that well!

It seems to me that we know each other well enough, instead.

Yes, but not to do such a thing...

Damn!

I didn't ask you to marry me, I asked you to come to Milan with me for a few months.

Okay, listen to her.

(Thomas) They put us in a huge mansion.

OK then...

Garden, which is practically a wood.

Indoor tennis courts and swimming pool.

You play tennis, don't you?

I haven't played with it for a while.

I won't be Federer, but I have a good forehand. So, if I try hard, be careful!

Come with me.

Let's work together.

The Foundation has the budget for a good architect.

You are good.

Tommy I... I've never done such a thing!

Exactly! What have you got to lose?

What do I have to lose...

I have my life, my friends, the pastry shop.

Then, change like this, out of the blue...

I'll be there.

Ok?

(VIBRATION OF A MOBILE PHONE)

Sorry...

Luca?

Captain...

Go Go! Go and call you to order...

Ready?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

I am Denis's mother.

Condolences, lady.

- Was he looking for something? - Do you know where he kept the money?

- Madam... - Irma.

Would you like a glass of water?

Look, stop for a moment. Try to come back another day with more calm, there is no rush.

How "there is no rush"? I can't pay another month's rent.

Excuse me, what rent? Isn't this house yours?

"Yours" ?! But did you see me?

But do I look like someone who can afford such a house?

(Irma) It must have been Denis that cazzaro to tell you about it.

Him and that fucking bicycle...

But I make him pay the one who invested it. Ah, how much I make him pay, look!

How disgusting...

- But you were with him? - I'm a friend of him.

Ah. I didn't think he had any friends.

I didn't think he had a mother!

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(ANTONIO CRIES)

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(ANTONIO AND LUCA CRY)

(LUCA CRIES)

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC AND LUCA'S CRYING)

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(Antonio) Lollo!

- What are you doing here? - I wanted... to offer condolences.

Thank you.

I know it sounds bad to say, but... I'm glad to see you.

(Lorenzo) You have disappeared.

Do I owe you an apology?

Dunno, think that you haven't sent me a message anymore, you haven't called me anymore...

How are you?

Alright then.

He told me Cristina that you have to leave the house. Did you find anything?

No, not yet.

Let's say "I have some stuff in my hands".

- Ah! - (Antonio) Yes.

Maybe...

Maybe I'm moving to Milan.

- And in the meantime, why don't you go home? - But do you think I'm going back to my parents?

With us.

Sorry, but Enrico?

Puff?

Hello Lorenzo.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hi Antonio. - Good morning.

(Ursula) My daughter, Linda.

- Are you helping mom today? - (Orsola) Yes.

You help me with the final exams.

If an eight-year-old girl likes a cake, he means that the cake is good.

Especially if that little girl is used to eating those of her mother.

(Ursula) True, love?

(Orsola) Thank you.

Are you tense?

- No. - (Orsola) Good!

Ok...

- (Woman) Good morning! - (Orsola) Good morning. - (Antonio) Good morning.

(BELL RING)

Surprise!

Did you think you were leaving without saying goodbye?

(Antonio) Guys, sorry, but I've already made everything disappear.

- (Luca) And what is that? - This is the mascarpone I made for the exam.

Okay, come on, just the coffee.

Speaking of the exam: the second highest score in the class, "mortacci"!

- You will understand, there were five of them... - Come on, enough!

You are no longer his boss, now he is a pastry chef!

Who goes to Milan to be an architect.

Guys, anyway Milan is three hours away by train, I'm not going to Australia to pick pears.

(Antonio) If you want, come and see me.

- Yes, maybe for the sales... - Are you afraid of being alone?

Aren't you going with Prince Charming?

Stop!

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Hello, handsome man!

Are you already here?

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Ok, ok...

Shall we go get your things? Here we go.

- (Thomas) Hi. - I... I brought you this.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

What's this?

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(Antonio) Tommy...

I can't leave with you.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

A lot has happened in this period and...

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Denis, of course, huh! But also many others.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

And I prefer not to bond with anyone right now.

(Antonio) Even if he is as good as you are.

Even if coming to Milan would make me happy.

(Antonio) So come on!

No, Tommy.

Because I would be happy only at the beginning, then it would end up like with Lorenzo and I don't want to.

Is Enrico coming to Milan?

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(ANTONIO INSPIRES AND EXHALE DEEPLY)

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Enrico was a consequence.

In fact, I think I should also thank him, you know?

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Is this what you want to do?

The sweets?

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

I don't know if I want to do it forever,...

..but I want to try.

Without always being someone's crutch.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Do you know my grandmother was right?

Mascarpone has a special taste if you make it yourself.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

- I can? - Yes sure!

I also brought you the napkin.

(LAUGH)

- (laughing) Now I can taste it! - Mmmm.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

Hi Antonio.

Tommy, sorry, but... but this?

(NOISE OF DOOR CLOSING)

It's my gift.

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)

(THOMAS STARTS THE ENGINE)

(MELANCHOLISH MUSIC)