Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da ♪

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪

♪♪

Yo, dum-dums, listen up.

There's a new plant based operation located at the edge

of Forest Whitaker Forest.

It's called the Blazor Wulf Plantoronium.

The Plantoronium.

Go in there and buy a plant,

and try not to look like an asshole.

I don't care what anyone says.

That right there was art.

You call it art. I call it exposition.

Hey, Blazor, is now a good time to --

You better not ask me about

making you bathroom manager.

Ohh.

[ Glass shatters ]

Lazor, I'm going to need you

to give a shit today.

Being a greeter is important.

I can't promise you that.

I'm trying to finish "The Faculty" today.

[ Groans ] Just get back to your stations.

[ Beeping ]

Como estás?

Hey, Kinny.

Hit up the Zoning Commission.

We about to chop more of these trees down!

I'm opening up a second Plantoronium.

A sign of any successful business

is being able to open that same exact business

right next to or across the street from said business.

Um, boss, I'm not going to lie to you.

We about to chop more of these trees down!

Hi. Would it be possible to speak

with the master of this establishment?

Welcome to Blazor Wulf's Planet blah, blah.

Don't break shit, don't steal shit, and go away.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

-I didn't sign up. -Hi, everyone.

I am still looking for the master of this establishment.

Hi. I'm Stupid Horse.

I am the potential bathroom manage--

Huh? Aaah! Aaah!

[ Gasping ]

Hey, you should learn to not appear

when no one calls for you.

I don't know if I'll never again feel a pain such as this.

That's called transcendence.

Security, there's a horse on the cactus.

Sorry to be repetitive,

but I am still looking to speak with the master.

She's in her office.

Can I help you?

Hello. Are you the master? Question mark.

I really hate when people do shit like that.

My name is on the front of the damn store.

My bad.

Your plant store in the middle of my forest,

Forest Whitaker Forest, has to go, and so do you.

Your forest? So who the fuck is you?

I am just an everyday spirit.

Since your mortal eyes cannot see my true form,

I have procured this vessel to deliver my message.

I also can does this, too.

Holy shit!

You can make stuff float with your mind?!

Why are you not on TV?!

I mean, I mean, put my damn plants down.

No!

Bad idea.

You've mistaken me for someone that gives a shit.

[ Beeping ]

Bitch, don't make me tell you again.

Ow-ee! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Asshole.

You'll pay for this.

Oh, shit.

Wait a minute. Why did I leave?

This is my home, damn it.

Home girl moves into my hood, chops down my trees,

just to make a store that sells smaller trees.

The fuck?

She doesn't know this place like I does.

She doesn't even know the names of these trees,

like that tree over there.

Hey, Gerald.

She's nothing but a gentrifier.

She's gotta go.

In the middle of my forest.

That spirit can suck my whole dick.

Hey, you mind if I use your phone?

I think I'm really far from home,

and I need to call my mom to come scoop me up.

[ Groans ]

I have returned to find the perfect vessel

to exact my vengeance.

Welcome to the store, and don't steal nothin'.

And I don't care.

I'm good.

Nope.

Forehead too big.

Too short.

What's in here?

Ooh, this one has a cannon.

Victorious!

Whee!

Whee!

What the heck?!

[ Gasps ]

[ Slurping ]

Oh, could I have some wine, too?

Deryll -- it's Deryll, right?

Yeah.

Don't talk to me.

Okay.

Don't play with me today.

All right, all right.

Spinnas trying to test me today.

Stupid Horse, you're making me uncomfortable.

I'd appreciate it if you'd leave.

Um, so, uh...

If Blazor comes looking, I'm not here.

This vessel is stupid!

I can barely control my powers in this.

Stupid Horse, language!

[ Gasps ]

Look, I ain't lookin' for no drama.

I'm just tryin' to not do shit in peace.

Blazor Wulf: What's goin' on over there?

[ Buzzing ] You hear that?

You told me not to talk. Deryll, shut the fuck up!

Okay.

Oh, God, this mother fucker.

[ Gasping ]

-[ Screams ] -Flee for my life!

-Hurry, hurry! -Get out of my way!

The hell with this place.

I plan on procuring my foliage elsewhere.

I, too, echo your sentiment.

-I hate eating here. -It's too hot.

It seems the people have spoken.

[ Flies buzzing ] Yeah, it's a goddamn

mess in here.

Stupid Horse is trippin' right now.

Whatever happened to that Josh Hartnett fellow?

Josh Hartnett?

Homey probably got married and chilled the fuck out.

This isn't working!

I'm going to try the wolf vessel again.

[ Sighs ] Let's try this one more time.

[ Beeping ]

Father! [ Sobs ]

Uh-oh, the daddy issues in this one, it's too much.

I miss pops.

Ooh, I needs me a pair.

Nope, not doin' that again.

Huh.

Oh, what is this right here?

Shit. Did everybody really leave?

Looks that way.

I guess folks weren't into the idea of

a haunted plant store.

People be picky like that.

This spirit really out to piss all over my cash flow.

Yes, a steady stream, too.

This has got to end.

That's true.

It's almost been 11 minutes.

Ye-e-e-e-e-es!

I finally have some control over this jack of asses.

Oh, no.

[ Line ringing ]

Voice: At the tone, please record your message.

[ Beep ]

Nah, I'm good.

Not in need of a possession today, my dude.

Mnh-mnh.

This is fucking exhausting.

Why couldn't you just take me seriously?

Look, you proved your point.

Shit, you even possessed Stupid Horse to do it.

God bless, but it couldn't be me.

Yeah, it's been a lot, and yet,

he's still the easiest one to possess.

Okay, so here's the deal.

I'm still building that second Plantoronium,

but I'll make it four stories instead of five.

[ Dinging ] Four stories?

Are you insane?

[ Horn honking ] That's my mom.

Thanks for the wine, Blazor.

I might have spilled some on your couch

and on your desk and some on your floor and also my shirt.

Shut up, Deryll!

Okay.

So, deal?

Hell no!

I told you to leave,

and I still want you to leave.

♪♪

[ Glass shattering ]

You think you could just show up and chop

these trees down and drop a dang plant store?

Yeah, I do.

You're going around taking control

over people's minds and bodies without consent,

and you're not even paying them.

Fair point. But I don't have money.

I'm a forest spirit. That's what I does.

Well, I'm Blazor Wulf, and this is what I does.

Then I'll just take control of you and make you leave.

[ Beeping ]

I should have done this from the beginning.

Why wasn't I born into a different family?

Haunted plants? That's not even scary.

What a waste of time. What is life? Why are we here?

Wait a minute.

Please don't hurt me.

[ Growls ]

Oh, boy, I made a mistake.

You know what? Maybe this needed to happen.

I've always talked about traveling more.

Yeah, fuck this.

Talk about a goddamn waste of my time.

Father's Day is coming up, right?

We should do something.

I have headphones on. I can't hear you.

Also, that's a terrible idea.

I know now's not the right time, but...

Yes, Stupid Horse, you can be bathroom manager.

Nice!

♪ I am now the bathroom manager, ow! ♪

[ Sighs ]

Are we done?

♪♪

♪♪

Cut!

♪♪