Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da ♪

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪

♪♪

So now that we're here, mind if I state my wants?

I don't care.

Everything you ants do down here makes no difference to me.

Okay, great. I'm glad you feel that way,

because I want Sundays.

[ Coughs ] Excuse me?

The Round Earthers are going to worship on Sundays.

It's the best day for worship.

You ain't playing around, is you?

Not even a little bit.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, I get it! You're dumb!

I thought you were smart because you wore glasses.

[ Laughs ] My bad.

This is truly some hilarious shit!

I want Sundays. I will have Sundays.

This is cute. [ Chuckles ]

[ Laughing ] You should hear yourself!

Yo, yo, maybe you don't want to mess with this one.

She ain't like you. She look like she gets shit done.

Shut up, Wallace. Let's get outta here.

It's going to happen whether you sign off on it or not.

I get what I want.

You simply don't have that kind of manpower, babe.

Don't waste my time again.

You trippin'. But at this point, it's on brand.

My name isn't "babe." It's Matilda.

♪♪

Oh! Scrambled eggs.

♪♪

At ease, Round Earthers!

The Earth is round...

-All the time! -Thank you.

As you all know, I have been rolling over our strategy

for recruitment,

and I'm happy to announce

that a circular solution has come to me.

Our goal moving forward will be to make Tuesdays into Sundays.

And then, that way, we'll -- -Uh,

Imma need you to explain that a bit more.

No, it means you go to work on Monday,

then you take Tuesday off,

and then you go back to work on Wednesday again.

No, you're both wrong and will now be punished.

Now go stand in the round corner for two hours.

[ Sobbing ]

Before I was rudely interrupted,

I made a little video to explain everything.

Time, like the Earth, is circular.

Due to the current positioning of the Earth,

the work week should be Wednesday through Sunday,

then Monday and Tuesday are the weekend.

This should all feel natural to you.

Isn't working Mondays and Tuesdays shitty?

[ Donkey brays ]

Aren't those days you feel the most depleted

and in need of rest and nourishment of your soul?

That is because we've been trapped

in flat-thought propaganda for so long.

Maps, calendars, yearbooks,

none of them reflect time or space accurately.

This is the future. Tuesdays are Sundays!

[ Cheers and applause ]

This is the message we will share with the world...

[ Deep voice ] ...at a pop-up event

that we're gonna throw this Tuesday.

Where are y'all Shari Lewis fros?

We're gonna be late! -Late for what?

I'm ready, Lazor! For what? I-I don't know.

But, uh, you know, a stupid horse like me got to stay ready.

Ha ha!

The WFPP finally gets booked for an event,

and y'all decide now is the time to fuck around?

Someone actually booked the Wulf Family Puppetry Pals?

Oh, God. Why would anyone book the WFPP?

'Cause we got folks out here

that believe we deserve our big break.

No, we don't.

[ Wind whistles ]

So, some of y'all know what's happening right now?

Canon Wulf: When we were younger,

Lazor saw an episode of "Lamb Chop"

and thought he could make bank starting a family puppet troupe.

So, he started the Wulf Family Puppet Pals,

even though we ain't have no training.

And, more importantly, no puppets.

And like 22 minutes later, "Reading Rainbow" came on,

and he completely forgot about it.

Well, I remembered again. Now, let's go!

We really don't have time to discuss.

Explain all of that one more time, but backwards.

Nah, just watch the commercial.

Man: Are you tired of working on Mondays?

Find yourself with much more energy on Saturdays?

Don't you wish you could just relax

at the beginning of the week?

We believe you deserve a better life.

You deserve to enjoy Mondays and Tuesdays.

Come find out more at our "Tuesdays are Sundays" pop-up

in downtown Strongburg.

Free fued, moosic, and poopertry.

Oh, wait, this shit looks tight!

Okay, I'm down.

Yep. Well, whatever gets you in your fros.

Let's go!

All you have to do is sign a waiver

in support of Tuesdays for Sunday.

The Earth is round all the time.

Wait, what was that?

♪ We are a family band ♪

♪ Here we go off to be a band and a fam-fam-family ♪

♪ A fam-fam-fam-fam- family ♪

♪♪

Hello. My name is Mother Trademark.

I'm a brand ambassador for the pop-up.

Are you guys the Wulf Family Puppetry Pals?

Yes, we are.

Your name is Mother Trademark?

Like for real? -Mm-hmm.

Y'all do know you're late, right?

Of course!

Let me show you to your green room.

Hop on the hover scooter.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

This is weird.

♪♪

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Why is everything round?

♪♪

What do you mean?

All these things are supposed to be round.

♪♪

They're too round.

This all feels familiar.

Like from the past?

Yeah, that.

I usually don't think about stuff from before

'cause it doesn't matter.

Privilege.

So, before you perform, we would like to get you

to sign this paperwork.

It's all standard terms and services stuff.

Hey, Miss. Why is your calendar round?

Why, isn't yours? Don't you like it?

But why is it that way?

Uh, I don't -- I don't know.

Some people like stuff to be fun and interesting and round.

Who cares?

Uh, uh, anyway,

our coordinator would like to meet with the person in charge of this group.

Who is that? -That'd be me.

[ Sarcastically ] Oh, goodie. Great.

Well, come with me, please.

♪♪

This is the puppet master you wanted to see.

Matilda?

Thank you, Mother Trademark. You can leave us.

Hello, Lazor Wulf.

Round Earth is bunk.

All I want is what's best for you and the folks of Earth

and for you to put a little something about

how Tuesdays are better as Sundays in your lil' skit

and maybe show this chart.

Tuesdays into what?

Nah, the WFPP will not be apart of this.

No surprise there.

Males are less capable of circular thinking.

Everything is linear to them,

running around chasing their ding-dongs like a bunch of dicks!

They'd follow it right off the edge of the Earth,

if there was one.

Probably, but I still ain't fucking with this.

And I ain't doing the puppet show for y'all.

That's too bad 'cause everyone, including your friends,

just signed contracts saying that they will obey

the Round Earthers policies for a trial basis of a year

and then it will auto-renew if they don't cancel after that year.

That's some cold shit.

No one ever cancels automatic renewal subscriptions.

Sorry, but drastic measures had to be taken for the movement.

That's fine, but me and my puppet skills

will not be apart of this.

-Did he like the chart? -Get the fuck out of here, Mother Trademark!

♪♪

King Yeti: It is not my only thing.

Wow! Okay, King Yeti. You're indicating, my guy.

I really need you to be the puppet.

I'm trying over here, my dude! This ain't exactly my skill set.

So, Lazor Wulf, Lazor Wulf, baby! Changes were made.

We got some talking points from the higher-ups,

and they want to make sure it follows the story circle.

Listen, this is great and all,

but a major wrench has been thrown in the process.

So we must adapt to our new circumstances,

which are, we gotta jet.

Blazor Wulf: Please, speak less dumber.

Okay, I'm just gonna go blow it up.

Okay? Bye.

-Seems like he's lost it. -Punch! Punch! Punch!

Woman: Oh, no! Oh!

So, therefore, Tuesdays are now Sundays,

and we will use that day to worship the Earth

in all its curvaceous beauty!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Ooh! Curves are hot!

And butts are round, just like the motherfricking earf!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Y'all can't see that this is all a sham?

She made you sign away your rights to her cult!

Open your eyes!

[ Deep voice ] Yes, open your eyes and see the love.

Nothing says love like a free trial,

where you can enjoy love forever and ever in an infinite loop!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Normal voice ] However, linear thought must be punished!

[ Deep voice ] Bring out the perpetrators!

Well, this is some shit!

Imma really die at a lame-ass pop-up.

-This is Stupid Horse's fault! -[ Neighs ] Me?!

I have to agree. The horse is at fault.

All of you shut up and prepare to be punished.

Woman: Oh, they about to die!

I can't just let you murder my homies and send them to God!

Hold up. God ain't got nothing to do with this.

I hate that guy! -So you're not working for him?

Hell no! Dude laughed at my Tuesdays for Sundays pitch!

Seriously, fuck dude!

-Why didn't say this earlier? -That's my bad.

Getting folks behind this movement

is just very important to me, and I --

Look, Matilda, if this is about undermining Ol' Bighead,

I'll sign the contract.

I'll worry about canceling the trial next season.

[ Cheers and applause ] So, just out of curiosity,

what were you gonna do to them after all the spinning?

Well, after the spinning,

I was gonna... and then shove a...

[ Laughs ]

Just do that to Stupid Horse. I wanna see what happens.

What do you mean, see what happens?!

No! No! Nooooooo!

Everything okay here?

Everything is perfectly round here. Thank you.

What's your name?

Pearl.

Ooh, Pearl! Isn't that a pretty name?

Because it's round.

So, you got folks to agree to turn Tuesdays to Sundays.

Big deal. You do remember I am God, right?

I could just change it back. I could just --

You got Lazor Wulf's signature?!

Holy shit!

Yep! I'm boo'd up.

[ Deep voice ] Do your worst.

This shit is solid!

I told you to take her seriously.

She ain't a loser like you, bruh.

Goddamn it!

[ Normal voice ] Pearl, can you roll all this up for me?

[ Sighs ]

So you think we gonna get booked again?

Why wouldn't we?

'Cause we never got to perform and we're terrible.

-Oh. -That's true.

I think she lied to us about that trial being free.

[ Belches ]

[ Neighs ]

♪♪