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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,583 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 2 00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:06,497 ♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪ 3 00:00:06,583 --> 00:00:08,293 ♪ Da da da da ♪ 4 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,245 ♪ Da da da da da da ♪ 5 00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:15,753 ♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪ 6 00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:17,883 ♪♪ 7 00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:20,168 So now that we're here, mind if I state my wants? 8 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:21,670 I don't care. 9 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:25,040 Everything you ants do down here makes no difference to me. 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,455 Okay, great. I'm glad you feel that way, 11 00:00:26,542 --> 00:00:27,712 because I want Sundays. 12 00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,132 [ Coughs ] Excuse me? 13 00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:31,208 The Round Earthers are going to worship on Sundays. 14 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:33,252 It's the best day for worship. 15 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,963 You ain't playing around, is you? 16 00:00:35,042 --> 00:00:36,252 Not even a little bit. 17 00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:37,833 [ Laughs ] 18 00:00:37,917 --> 00:00:40,417 Oh, I get it! You're dumb! 19 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,420 I thought you were smart because you wore glasses. 20 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,790 [ Laughs ] My bad. 21 00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:48,495 This is truly some hilarious shit! 22 00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:52,583 I want Sundays. I will have Sundays. 23 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,957 This is cute. [ Chuckles ] 24 00:00:55,042 --> 00:00:57,792 [ Laughing ] You should hear yourself! 25 00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:01,245 Yo, yo, maybe you don't want to mess with this one. 26 00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:05,213 She ain't like you. She look like she gets shit done. 27 00:01:05,292 --> 00:01:07,632 Shut up, Wallace. Let's get outta here. 28 00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:10,458 It's going to happen whether you sign off on it or not. 29 00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:11,922 I get what I want. 30 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,290 You simply don't have that kind of manpower, babe. 31 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,785 Don't waste my time again. 32 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:20,665 You trippin'. But at this point, it's on brand. 33 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:24,170 My name isn't "babe." It's Matilda. 34 00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:30,288 ♪♪ 35 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,665 Oh! Scrambled eggs. 36 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:38,130 ♪♪ 37 00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:40,328 At ease, Round Earthers! 38 00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,127 The Earth is round... 39 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:44,288 -All the time! -Thank you. 40 00:01:44,375 --> 00:01:47,415 As you all know, I have been rolling over our strategy 41 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,630 for recruitment, 42 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:49,878 and I'm happy to announce 43 00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:52,168 that a circular solution has come to me. 44 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:57,000 Our goal moving forward will be to make Tuesdays into Sundays. 45 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:58,633 And then, that way, we'll -- -Uh, 46 00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,918 Imma need you to explain that a bit more. 47 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,960 No, it means you go to work on Monday, 48 00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:05,712 then you take Tuesday off, 49 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,292 and then you go back to work on Wednesday again. 50 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:11,535 No, you're both wrong and will now be punished. 51 00:02:11,625 --> 00:02:14,285 Now go stand in the round corner for two hours. 52 00:02:14,375 --> 00:02:15,535 [ Sobbing ] 53 00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:17,955 Before I was rudely interrupted, 54 00:02:18,042 --> 00:02:20,542 I made a little video to explain everything. 55 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,415 Time, like the Earth, is circular. 56 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,880 Due to the current positioning of the Earth, 57 00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,748 the work week should be Wednesday through Sunday, 58 00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:31,673 then Monday and Tuesday are the weekend. 59 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,790 This should all feel natural to you. 60 00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:37,415 Isn't working Mondays and Tuesdays shitty? 61 00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:38,920 [ Donkey brays ] 62 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,380 Aren't those days you feel the most depleted 63 00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:44,378 and in need of rest and nourishment of your soul? 64 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,998 That is because we've been trapped 65 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,923 in flat-thought propaganda for so long. 66 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,080 Maps, calendars, yearbooks, 67 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:53,377 none of them reflect time or space accurately. 68 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:57,248 This is the future. Tuesdays are Sundays! 69 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:58,923 [ Cheers and applause ] 70 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,290 This is the message we will share with the world... 71 00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:03,785 [ Deep voice ] ...at a pop-up event 72 00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,825 that we're gonna throw this Tuesday. 73 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,917 Where are y'all Shari Lewis fros? 74 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,920 We're gonna be late! -Late for what? 75 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,920 I'm ready, Lazor! For what? I-I don't know. 76 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:18,330 But, uh, you know, a stupid horse like me got to stay ready. 77 00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:19,457 Ha ha! 78 00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:22,752 The WFPP finally gets booked for an event, 79 00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:24,923 and y'all decide now is the time to fuck around? 80 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,460 Someone actually booked the Wulf Family Puppetry Pals? 81 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:30,792 Oh, God. Why would anyone book the WFPP? 82 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,165 'Cause we got folks out here 83 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,130 that believe we deserve our big break. 84 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:35,628 No, we don't. 85 00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:36,958 [ Wind whistles ] 86 00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:39,832 So, some of y'all know what's happening right now? 87 00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,327 Canon Wulf: When we were younger, 88 00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:43,287 Lazor saw an episode of "Lamb Chop" 89 00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:46,665 and thought he could make bank starting a family puppet troupe. 90 00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,250 So, he started the Wulf Family Puppet Pals, 91 00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:51,713 even though we ain't have no training. 92 00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:54,792 And, more importantly, no puppets. 93 00:03:54,875 --> 00:03:58,165 And like 22 minutes later, "Reading Rainbow" came on, 94 00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,630 and he completely forgot about it. 95 00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,788 Well, I remembered again. Now, let's go! 96 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,535 We really don't have time to discuss. 97 00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:07,375 Explain all of that one more time, but backwards. 98 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:09,208 Nah, just watch the commercial. 99 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,672 Man: Are you tired of working on Mondays? 100 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,670 Find yourself with much more energy on Saturdays? 101 00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,710 Don't you wish you could just relax 102 00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,132 at the beginning of the week? 103 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:20,498 We believe you deserve a better life. 104 00:04:20,583 --> 00:04:23,293 You deserve to enjoy Mondays and Tuesdays. 105 00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:26,785 Come find out more at our "Tuesdays are Sundays" pop-up 106 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,575 in downtown Strongburg. 107 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:31,627 Free fued, moosic, and poopertry. 108 00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:34,128 Oh, wait, this shit looks tight! 109 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,628 Okay, I'm down. 110 00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,208 Yep. Well, whatever gets you in your fros. 111 00:04:37,292 --> 00:04:38,462 Let's go! 112 00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:39,832 All you have to do is sign a waiver 113 00:04:39,917 --> 00:04:41,207 in support of Tuesdays for Sunday. 114 00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:42,632 The Earth is round all the time. 115 00:04:42,708 --> 00:04:44,328 Wait, what was that? 116 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:47,537 ♪ We are a family band ♪ 117 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:52,535 ♪ Here we go off to be a band and a fam-fam-family ♪ 118 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,325 ♪ A fam-fam-fam-fam- family ♪ 119 00:04:56,917 --> 00:04:58,327 ♪♪ 120 00:04:58,417 --> 00:05:00,457 Hello. My name is Mother Trademark. 121 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,672 I'm a brand ambassador for the pop-up. 122 00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,710 Are you guys the Wulf Family Puppetry Pals? 123 00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:05,832 Yes, we are. 124 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,537 Your name is Mother Trademark? 125 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:09,665 Like for real? -Mm-hmm. 126 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,380 Y'all do know you're late, right? 127 00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:12,628 Of course! 128 00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,078 Let me show you to your green room. 129 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,877 Hop on the hover scooter. 130 00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:18,958 [ Indistinct conversations ] 131 00:05:19,042 --> 00:05:21,332 This is weird. 132 00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:25,707 ♪♪ 133 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,712 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 134 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:29,752 Why is everything round? 135 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:31,253 ♪♪ 136 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:32,543 What do you mean? 137 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:35,205 All these things are supposed to be round. 138 00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:38,542 ♪♪ 139 00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,575 They're too round. 140 00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,127 This all feels familiar. 141 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,288 Like from the past? 142 00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:45,665 Yeah, that. 143 00:05:45,750 --> 00:05:47,420 I usually don't think about stuff from before 144 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:48,750 'cause it doesn't matter. 145 00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:50,713 Privilege. 146 00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:54,538 So, before you perform, we would like to get you 147 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:55,825 to sign this paperwork. 148 00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:57,577 It's all standard terms and services stuff. 149 00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:00,417 Hey, Miss. Why is your calendar round? 150 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,580 Why, isn't yours? Don't you like it? 151 00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:03,917 But why is it that way? 152 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,460 Uh, I don't -- I don't know. 153 00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:09,922 Some people like stuff to be fun and interesting and round. 154 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,170 Who cares? 155 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,920 Uh, uh, anyway, 156 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,040 our coordinator would like to meet with the person in charge of this group. 157 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,125 Who is that? -That'd be me. 158 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,788 [ Sarcastically ] Oh, goodie. Great. 159 00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:21,915 Well, come with me, please. 160 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,080 ♪♪ 161 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,127 This is the puppet master you wanted to see. 162 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,878 Matilda? 163 00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:31,628 Thank you, Mother Trademark. You can leave us. 164 00:06:31,708 --> 00:06:33,458 Hello, Lazor Wulf. 165 00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:35,042 Round Earth is bunk. 166 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:38,075 All I want is what's best for you and the folks of Earth 167 00:06:38,167 --> 00:06:39,787 and for you to put a little something about 168 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,825 how Tuesdays are better as Sundays in your lil' skit 169 00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:44,287 and maybe show this chart. 170 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,035 Tuesdays into what? 171 00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:49,285 Nah, the WFPP will not be apart of this. 172 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,665 No surprise there. 173 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,830 Males are less capable of circular thinking. 174 00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,667 Everything is linear to them, 175 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:57,380 running around chasing their ding-dongs like a bunch of dicks! 176 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,668 They'd follow it right off the edge of the Earth, 177 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,000 if there was one. 178 00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:03,173 Probably, but I still ain't fucking with this. 179 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,130 And I ain't doing the puppet show for y'all. 180 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:08,918 That's too bad 'cause everyone, including your friends, 181 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,790 just signed contracts saying that they will obey 182 00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,665 the Round Earthers policies for a trial basis of a year 183 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:16,710 and then it will auto-renew if they don't cancel after that year. 184 00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:18,502 That's some cold shit. 185 00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,833 No one ever cancels automatic renewal subscriptions. 186 00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:24,207 Sorry, but drastic measures had to be taken for the movement. 187 00:07:24,292 --> 00:07:26,382 That's fine, but me and my puppet skills 188 00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,998 will not be apart of this. 189 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:33,213 -Did he like the chart? -Get the fuck out of here, Mother Trademark! 190 00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:36,922 ♪♪ 191 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,540 King Yeti: It is not my only thing. 192 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:44,915 Wow! Okay, King Yeti. You're indicating, my guy. 193 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,000 I really need you to be the puppet. 194 00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:53,003 I'm trying over here, my dude! This ain't exactly my skill set. 195 00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:56,213 So, Lazor Wulf, Lazor Wulf, baby! Changes were made. 196 00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,382 We got some talking points from the higher-ups, 197 00:07:58,458 --> 00:08:01,708 and they want to make sure it follows the story circle. 198 00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:03,382 Listen, this is great and all, 199 00:08:03,458 --> 00:08:05,878 but a major wrench has been thrown in the process. 200 00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:08,378 So we must adapt to our new circumstances, 201 00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,378 which are, we gotta jet. 202 00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:12,378 Blazor Wulf: Please, speak less dumber. 203 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,748 Okay, I'm just gonna go blow it up. 204 00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:16,133 Okay? Bye. 205 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:18,168 -Seems like he's lost it. -Punch! Punch! Punch! 206 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,880 Woman: Oh, no! Oh! 207 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,170 So, therefore, Tuesdays are now Sundays, 208 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:26,750 and we will use that day to worship the Earth 209 00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:28,963 in all its curvaceous beauty! 210 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,172 [ Cheers and applause ] 211 00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,580 Ooh! Curves are hot! 212 00:08:34,542 --> 00:08:38,172 And butts are round, just like the motherfricking earf! 213 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,250 [ Cheers and applause ] 214 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,423 Y'all can't see that this is all a sham? 215 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,040 She made you sign away your rights to her cult! 216 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,415 Open your eyes! 217 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:49,250 [ Deep voice ] Yes, open your eyes and see the love. 218 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,083 Nothing says love like a free trial, 219 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,707 where you can enjoy love forever and ever in an infinite loop! 220 00:08:54,792 --> 00:08:56,212 [ Cheers and applause ] 221 00:08:56,292 --> 00:08:59,922 [ Normal voice ] However, linear thought must be punished! 222 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,420 [ Deep voice ] Bring out the perpetrators! 223 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,790 Well, this is some shit! 224 00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:06,875 Imma really die at a lame-ass pop-up. 225 00:09:06,958 --> 00:09:10,078 -This is Stupid Horse's fault! -[ Neighs ] Me?! 226 00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:12,667 I have to agree. The horse is at fault. 227 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,130 All of you shut up and prepare to be punished. 228 00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:18,788 Woman: Oh, they about to die! 229 00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,705 I can't just let you murder my homies and send them to God! 230 00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:24,502 Hold up. God ain't got nothing to do with this. 231 00:09:24,583 --> 00:09:26,583 I hate that guy! -So you're not working for him? 232 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:30,457 Hell no! Dude laughed at my Tuesdays for Sundays pitch! 233 00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,502 Seriously, fuck dude! 234 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:35,253 -Why didn't say this earlier? -That's my bad. 235 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:36,963 Getting folks behind this movement 236 00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:38,632 is just very important to me, and I -- 237 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,628 Look, Matilda, if this is about undermining Ol' Bighead, 238 00:09:41,708 --> 00:09:43,078 I'll sign the contract. 239 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,827 I'll worry about canceling the trial next season. 240 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,247 [ Cheers and applause ] So, just out of curiosity, 241 00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:50,463 what were you gonna do to them after all the spinning? 242 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:52,002 Well, after the spinning, 243 00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:56,173 I was gonna... and then shove a... 244 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:58,130 [ Laughs ] 245 00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,378 Just do that to Stupid Horse. I wanna see what happens. 246 00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:02,708 What do you mean, see what happens?! 247 00:10:02,792 --> 00:10:06,212 No! No! Nooooooo! 248 00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:08,832 Everything okay here? 249 00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,127 Everything is perfectly round here. Thank you. 250 00:10:11,208 --> 00:10:12,498 What's your name? 251 00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:13,833 Pearl. 252 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,167 Ooh, Pearl! Isn't that a pretty name? 253 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:17,790 Because it's round. 254 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:23,377 So, you got folks to agree to turn Tuesdays to Sundays. 255 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:26,288 Big deal. You do remember I am God, right? 256 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,245 I could just change it back. I could just -- 257 00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:31,543 You got Lazor Wulf's signature?! 258 00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,415 Holy shit! 259 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,330 Yep! I'm boo'd up. 260 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:36,917 [ Deep voice ] Do your worst. 261 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,170 This shit is solid! 262 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:41,130 I told you to take her seriously. 263 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,878 She ain't a loser like you, bruh. 264 00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:45,168 Goddamn it! 265 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:47,880 [ Normal voice ] Pearl, can you roll all this up for me? 266 00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:49,128 [ Sighs ] 267 00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:51,128 So you think we gonna get booked again? 268 00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,498 Why wouldn't we? 269 00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:55,133 'Cause we never got to perform and we're terrible. 270 00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:56,828 -Oh. -That's true. 271 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:59,207 I think she lied to us about that trial being free. 272 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,752 [ Belches ] 273 00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,383 [ Neighs ] 274 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:10,498 ♪♪ 20771

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