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1
00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,583
♪ La, la, la ♪
2
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:06,497
♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪
3
00:00:06,583 --> 00:00:08,293
♪ Da da da da ♪
4
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,245
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
5
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:15,753
♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪
6
00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:22,918
[ Donkey braying ]
7
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,130
You again?!
Hello, Mr. Action Jackson,
8
00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:27,538
my name is Lazor Wulf,
I'm a huge fan
9
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:28,625
and would love it
if --
10
00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:29,918
I know who you are!
11
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,750
You were here yesterday!
12
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,503
Hello,
Mr. Action Jackson!
13
00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:37,583
[ Screams ]
Get out of my garage!
14
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:40,327
I was.
And the day before that!
15
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:44,127
♪ Shucky ducky,
you're the one ♪
16
00:00:44,208 --> 00:00:49,038
♪ Shucky ducky, you're...
so much fun! ♪
17
00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:51,745
Hello, Mr. Action Jackson,
my name is Laz--
18
00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:52,923
Aaaahhh!
Get out!
19
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,290
That was bad timing on my end
20
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,745
but as you can see,
I used the doorbell today.
21
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,883
[ Donkey braying ]
22
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:03,038
♪♪
23
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,875
And my name is not
Action Jackson!
24
00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:10,328
It's Carl --
Carl Weathers!
25
00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,457
Carl Weathers?
26
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,712
What the hell is this man
talking about?
27
00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:16,752
[ Electronic motors whirring ]
28
00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:20,173
[ Glugging ]
29
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,170
♪♪
30
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,170
Oh -- oh, God!
How did you get in here?!
31
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,630
I thought I locked the door!
32
00:01:26,708 --> 00:01:29,248
First of all, don't insult me
by calling me God,
33
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:31,673
and second, how are you not
Action Jackson?
34
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,170
You look just like dude.
35
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,330
Cause I'm Carl Weathers,
36
00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:37,997
and "Action Jackson"
is a damn movie!
37
00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,503
I think you mean documentary?
38
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,833
Yeah...
sure, whatever.
39
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:43,167
Regardless,
he's not even here!
40
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,670
[ Doorbell chimes ]
[ Grumbles ]
41
00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,130
Gotcha!
42
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,828
♪♪
43
00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,077
[ Whirring ]
44
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,333
Now, what do you mean
he's "gone"?
45
00:01:55,417 --> 00:01:57,077
I meant just that!
46
00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,747
He's not here --
he's gone,
47
00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:00,583
and you don't have to
ever bother me
48
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,997
about him ever again!
49
00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:04,673
Now please,
for the final time...
50
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,420
leave me alone!
51
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,630
[ Whirring ]
52
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,208
Gone?
53
00:02:11,292 --> 00:02:13,042
Canon: Then I ran up on them
fools with the quickness!
54
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,915
-Watch out!
-They ain't see you coming?
55
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,540
Not at all.
56
00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:20,535
And then what happened?
57
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,375
Nothing, I'm just fucking
with y'all.
58
00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:25,208
I made up that whole story.
I just wanted some attention.
59
00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:28,082
[ Slurping ]
And you got it, my dude.
60
00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,957
Yes, I did.
61
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:33,382
Yes... I did.
You so lame.
62
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:37,628
Well, I rather enjoyed
that story, Canon.
63
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,248
Excuse me,
but who are you?
64
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,963
My name is Malcolm.
65
00:02:42,042 --> 00:02:45,382
Well, what the fuck you doing
at our table, Malcolm?
66
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,708
Y'all done yet?
Actually, I was sitting here
67
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,172
before y'all got here.
68
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,880
I didn't want to be rude,
so I just kept sittin'.
69
00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,128
If you gonna sit with us
we gonna need you
70
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,248
to be silent, ya nerd!
71
00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,583
Anyways, anyone heard
from Lazor?
72
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:02,417
[ Sound effect
of machine gunfire ]
73
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,290
What's up, I'm handling very
important business.
74
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:07,665
No you not.
Where are you for real?
75
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,210
Outside of
Carl Weathers' house.
76
00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:11,922
Carl Weathers? I thought you
were bugging Action Jackson?
77
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,040
Exactly.
What are you talking about?
78
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:16,245
I'm trying to right
an injustice!
79
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,333
Sorry, still lost here.
80
00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:20,747
Look, Blazor,
I know for a fact
81
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:23,173
that Carl Weathers murdered
Action Jackson.
82
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,710
No, he didn't!
83
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:26,962
Imma need you to leave
that man alone!
84
00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:28,542
No.
85
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,625
♪♪
86
00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:35,288
Officer! It's me,
Carl Weathers... again.
87
00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:38,625
And I, Carl Weathers,
am being harassed...
88
00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:39,788
again.
89
00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,745
♪♪
90
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:44,423
Lazor Wulf?
Again?
91
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,290
Just don't open the door, man.
92
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,375
Look, why don't you
just come an arrest him?
93
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:51,878
I don't deserve to be bothered
like this on a weekly basis!
94
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:55,328
[ Groans ] You being wild
dramatic right now.
95
00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:57,997
Well --
Well, I am fucking actor!
96
00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,753
Now will you come
handle this already?
97
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,173
Look, I'm about to beat
the high score,
98
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,210
so we'll probably just head down
right after, okay?
99
00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:08,502
Homie needs to get
some friends.
100
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:10,833
Homie is convinced
that this dude, Carl Weathers,
101
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,827
has done something
to Action Jackson.
102
00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:15,247
What happened to
Action Jackson?
103
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,833
Nothing!
Lazor's probably tripping.
104
00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:20,417
Carl Weathers?
I don't know.
105
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,000
That name just don't
sit well with me.
106
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:25,333
Same, Yeti, same.
107
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,827
[ Whinnies ]
Who the fuck asked you?!
108
00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:36,667
♪♪
109
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,330
Hey, Action!
110
00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:39,957
[ Sighs ]
111
00:04:40,042 --> 00:04:44,132
Looks like I might have to take
matters into my own hands...
112
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,918
again.
113
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,630
And if he shows up again,
114
00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,788
I'll have something
for him this time.
115
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,915
♪♪
116
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,785
Really?
What is it?
117
00:04:58,875 --> 00:04:59,995
How did you even --
118
00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:02,333
Oh... you forgot to lock
the back door.
119
00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:04,878
[ Eight-bit zapping ]
120
00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:07,708
Seriously, what is wrong
with you?
121
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,712
Justice is
what's wrong with me.
122
00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:12,042
I'm not a doctor...
123
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,285
[ Groans ]
124
00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:16,495
You're not going to give up
on this, are you?
125
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,753
I can't.
126
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:22,963
♪ Then I guess this is
how it's gotta be ♪
127
00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:25,332
[ Gunshot ]
128
00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:28,207
Uh...
Should we be worried?
129
00:05:28,292 --> 00:05:30,712
About Lazor?
Nah, he's good.
130
00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,212
Stupid Horse, is right though.
131
00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:33,542
He is usually back by now.
132
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,705
This Carl Weathers character...
133
00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:38,082
I just don't know.
134
00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:41,127
♪♪
135
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,998
Ooh! I'm about to beat
the high score y'all!
136
00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:45,963
Shots fired atCarl Weathers' house.
137
00:05:46,042 --> 00:05:48,632
Get your asses there pronto.
138
00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:49,958
Oh, no!
But I'm so close!
139
00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,212
Now!
140
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:56,502
Let's go-o-o-o!
141
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,253
Lazor Wulf might've done it
this time.
142
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,253
I hope we're not too late.
143
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:01,423
Y'all hear that?
144
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:06,830
Let's go-o-o-o!
145
00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:08,997
Mm, I think I'm going to
sit this one out.
146
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:10,713
I've got a bad feeling
about this.
147
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:14,042
No one care about you, Michael!
148
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,625
You'll never be a part
of our group!
149
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,997
[ Shatters ]
150
00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:21,673
Awww, my raisin soup.
151
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:24,330
♪♪
152
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,667
You should've just
left me alone!
153
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,960
You made me do this to you!
154
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,042
[ Grumbles ]
[ Door bell clunking ]
155
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,535
What?
Who could that be?
156
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,285
[ High pitched ]
♪ Who is it? ♪
157
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,745
It's the Woop-Woops!
Open the door!
158
00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,833
Ooh, uh,
it's okay.
159
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:39,327
I'm totally fine now.
160
00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:41,957
Okay... So...
161
00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:44,882
Where is Lazor Wulf?
Ha, well, I killed --
162
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:46,828
[ Gasps ]
I mean, I mean,
163
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,127
we talked it out
and he went home.
164
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,378
Open the door, Carl.
165
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,998
Okay, I'm opening
the door real slow.
166
00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,253
It's going to take me
a couple minutes.
167
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,253
There's a lot of locks
on this door.
168
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,003
[ Pop, groans ]
169
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:03,753
What the fuck is wrong
with you, Carl?!
170
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,713
Hmm!
You not going nowhere, my dude.
171
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,002
Let me go!
172
00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:08,333
Where's my brother?
173
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,417
Yeah! Where the hell is
Lazor Wulf?
174
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,380
I don't know who
you're talking about!
175
00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,628
Oh, you don't, huh?
176
00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:18,828
Hold him still
King Yeti!
177
00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:20,247
[ Groans ]
178
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,833
Wow.
179
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,827
You weren't ever going to open
the door, were you?
180
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,247
[ Ding-ding-ding ]
181
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,333
Where is he, Carl?!
182
00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:30,327
Ugh, I think I found him.
183
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,627
Oh, no.
184
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,538
What the fuck is wrong
with you, Carl?!
185
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,455
Let me go!
186
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,880
I had to!
He left me no choice!
187
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:41,288
He wouldn't leave me alone!
188
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,825
What does that mean?
He was just being a fan!
189
00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:46,207
No!
He was harassing me!
190
00:07:46,292 --> 00:07:48,212
And they did nothing to stop it!
191
00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:50,962
So, I did what I had to do!
192
00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:52,792
I knew you weren't right!
193
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:54,285
Fuck all of you!
194
00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:56,125
I just wanted to be left alone!
195
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,918
Well you will be
left alone --
196
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,250
for the rest of
your life...
197
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,793
In a prison cell!
198
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,035
Don't step on my line!
199
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:03,035
My bad.
200
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,205
Carl Weathers,
201
00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:06,212
you are
under arrest
202
00:08:06,292 --> 00:08:08,882
for the murder of
Lazor Wulf.
203
00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:11,078
No, he's not.
Lazor?!
204
00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:14,077
You're alive?!
Wait a minute...
205
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:15,827
No, you wait a minute,
206
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:18,537
I have more words to say.
207
00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:22,745
[ Gasps, laughs maniacally ]
How?! I shot you!
208
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:26,383
Did you -- or do you remember
shooting my...
209
00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:27,958
stunt double!
210
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:31,382
Ah, the classic stunt
double trick.
211
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:32,578
[ Applause ]
212
00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,037
Awesome!
So no one's dead.
213
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:36,245
Let him go!
214
00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:38,923
Hold up.
Someone is dead!
215
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,080
I knew you killed Action Jackson
and I told you
216
00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,577
I was going to bring you
to justice.
217
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:43,917
You're still on this shit?
218
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,380
How can I kill someone
who doesn't exist?
219
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,628
He did exist and I figured
the only way
220
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:53,328
I could prove it was
by finding his body.
221
00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:55,417
And there was only one way
to do that...
222
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:59,920
I had to make Carl believe
that he killed me too.
223
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,580
I followed behind,
saw him go to the basement,
224
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,287
and saw him head to
this chest --
225
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,915
this exact chest right here.
226
00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:13,038
Holy shit!
Ho-ly shit!
227
00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,455
I dunno, I kinda saw
that coming.
228
00:09:15,542 --> 00:09:19,042
Bullshit, Wallace!
You ain't seen shit coming!
229
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:22,245
Whatever man.
230
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:25,173
I...
I just wanted peace!
231
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:28,960
I kept -- I kept telling him
I wasn't Action Jackson!
232
00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:33,632
Why couldn't he listen?!
233
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:34,708
Wait a minute...
234
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:37,462
so Action Jackson
is a real person?
235
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:40,212
Of course, what else
would he be?
236
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:44,332
I thought if I just got rid
of Jackson...
237
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:49,037
Sorry -- I thought if I just rid
of Action...
238
00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:52,205
maybe he'd stop bugging me!
239
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,542
That doesn't make any sense!
240
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:57,455
Why would he stop bugging you
if you did that?
241
00:09:57,542 --> 00:10:00,502
You don't get to say that!
242
00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:04,503
How does a wolf with a laser
on his back make sense?
243
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,503
Does it make sense
that same wolf
244
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,503
with a with a laser on his back,
245
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:11,333
is a fan of Action Jackson?
246
00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:15,747
Only five people
have watched that movie!
247
00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:17,963
Five!
248
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,082
Five?!
249
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,627
You's a piece of shit,
Carl,
250
00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:23,748
and I hope you rot!
[ Growls ]
251
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,753
Look as long as I have my peace
and don't have to see him again,
252
00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,923
I regret nothing!
253
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,630
Take him away.
254
00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:34,248
I used to beat the crap out
of Cody in Street Fighter
255
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,213
on the daily.
256
00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:37,002
I'll do just fine in jail.
257
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:39,133
Carl Weathers, bitch!
258
00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:40,918
Lazor, where are you going?
259
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,920
I already got what
I was looking for.
260
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,040
What was that?
261
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,165
To prove I was right, Canon.
262
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:49,040
Action Jackson is
a documentary.
263
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,575
[ Explosion ]
264
00:10:51,667 --> 00:11:00,707
♪♪
265
00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:09,792
♪♪
266
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:16,375
♪♪
18162
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