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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,583 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 2 00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:06,497 ♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪ 3 00:00:06,583 --> 00:00:08,293 ♪ Da da da da ♪ 4 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,245 ♪ Da da da da da da ♪ 5 00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:15,753 ♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪ 6 00:00:17,958 --> 00:00:22,918 [ Donkey braying ] 7 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,130 You again?! Hello, Mr. Action Jackson, 8 00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:27,538 my name is Lazor Wulf, I'm a huge fan 9 00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:28,625 and would love it if -- 10 00:00:28,708 --> 00:00:29,918 I know who you are! 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,750 You were here yesterday! 12 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,503 Hello, Mr. Action Jackson! 13 00:00:34,583 --> 00:00:37,583 [ Screams ] Get out of my garage! 14 00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:40,327 I was. And the day before that! 15 00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:44,127 ♪ Shucky ducky, you're the one ♪ 16 00:00:44,208 --> 00:00:49,038 ♪ Shucky ducky, you're... so much fun! ♪ 17 00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:51,745 Hello, Mr. Action Jackson, my name is Laz-- 18 00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:52,923 Aaaahhh! Get out! 19 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,290 That was bad timing on my end 20 00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,745 but as you can see, I used the doorbell today. 21 00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:58,883 [ Donkey braying ] 22 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:03,038 ♪♪ 23 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:06,875 And my name is not Action Jackson! 24 00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:10,328 It's Carl -- Carl Weathers! 25 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,457 Carl Weathers? 26 00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,712 What the hell is this man talking about? 27 00:01:14,792 --> 00:01:16,752 [ Electronic motors whirring ] 28 00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:20,173 [ Glugging ] 29 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:22,170 ♪♪ 30 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:25,170 Oh -- oh, God! How did you get in here?! 31 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,630 I thought I locked the door! 32 00:01:26,708 --> 00:01:29,248 First of all, don't insult me by calling me God, 33 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:31,673 and second, how are you not Action Jackson? 34 00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,170 You look just like dude. 35 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,330 Cause I'm Carl Weathers, 36 00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:37,997 and "Action Jackson" is a damn movie! 37 00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,503 I think you mean documentary? 38 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:40,833 Yeah... sure, whatever. 39 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:43,167 Regardless, he's not even here! 40 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,670 [ Doorbell chimes ] [ Grumbles ] 41 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,130 Gotcha! 42 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,828 ♪♪ 43 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:51,077 [ Whirring ] 44 00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,333 Now, what do you mean he's "gone"? 45 00:01:55,417 --> 00:01:57,077 I meant just that! 46 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:58,747 He's not here -- he's gone, 47 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:00,583 and you don't have to ever bother me 48 00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,997 about him ever again! 49 00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:04,673 Now please, for the final time... 50 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,420 leave me alone! 51 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,630 [ Whirring ] 52 00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,208 Gone? 53 00:02:11,292 --> 00:02:13,042 Canon: Then I ran up on them fools with the quickness! 54 00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,915 -Watch out! -They ain't see you coming? 55 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,540 Not at all. 56 00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:20,535 And then what happened? 57 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,375 Nothing, I'm just fucking with y'all. 58 00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:25,208 I made up that whole story. I just wanted some attention. 59 00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:28,082 [ Slurping ] And you got it, my dude. 60 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,957 Yes, I did. 61 00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:33,382 Yes... I did. You so lame. 62 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:37,628 Well, I rather enjoyed that story, Canon. 63 00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:39,248 Excuse me, but who are you? 64 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,963 My name is Malcolm. 65 00:02:42,042 --> 00:02:45,382 Well, what the fuck you doing at our table, Malcolm? 66 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,708 Y'all done yet? Actually, I was sitting here 67 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,172 before y'all got here. 68 00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,880 I didn't want to be rude, so I just kept sittin'. 69 00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,128 If you gonna sit with us we gonna need you 70 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,248 to be silent, ya nerd! 71 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,583 Anyways, anyone heard from Lazor? 72 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:02,417 [ Sound effect of machine gunfire ] 73 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:05,290 What's up, I'm handling very important business. 74 00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:07,665 No you not. Where are you for real? 75 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,210 Outside of Carl Weathers' house. 76 00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:11,922 Carl Weathers? I thought you were bugging Action Jackson? 77 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,040 Exactly. What are you talking about? 78 00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:16,245 I'm trying to right an injustice! 79 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,333 Sorry, still lost here. 80 00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:20,747 Look, Blazor, I know for a fact 81 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:23,173 that Carl Weathers murdered Action Jackson. 82 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,710 No, he didn't! 83 00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:26,962 Imma need you to leave that man alone! 84 00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:28,542 No. 85 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,625 ♪♪ 86 00:03:31,708 --> 00:03:35,288 Officer! It's me, Carl Weathers... again. 87 00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:38,625 And I, Carl Weathers, am being harassed... 88 00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:39,788 again. 89 00:03:39,875 --> 00:03:41,745 ♪♪ 90 00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:44,423 Lazor Wulf? Again? 91 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,290 Just don't open the door, man. 92 00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,375 Look, why don't you just come an arrest him? 93 00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:51,878 I don't deserve to be bothered like this on a weekly basis! 94 00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:55,328 [ Groans ] You being wild dramatic right now. 95 00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:57,997 Well -- Well, I am fucking actor! 96 00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,753 Now will you come handle this already? 97 00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,173 Look, I'm about to beat the high score, 98 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,210 so we'll probably just head down right after, okay? 99 00:04:05,292 --> 00:04:08,502 Homie needs to get some friends. 100 00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:10,833 Homie is convinced that this dude, Carl Weathers, 101 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,827 has done something to Action Jackson. 102 00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:15,247 What happened to Action Jackson? 103 00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,833 Nothing! Lazor's probably tripping. 104 00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:20,417 Carl Weathers? I don't know. 105 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,000 That name just don't sit well with me. 106 00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:25,333 Same, Yeti, same. 107 00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,827 [ Whinnies ] Who the fuck asked you?! 108 00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:36,667 ♪♪ 109 00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,330 Hey, Action! 110 00:04:38,417 --> 00:04:39,957 [ Sighs ] 111 00:04:40,042 --> 00:04:44,132 Looks like I might have to take matters into my own hands... 112 00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,918 again. 113 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,630 And if he shows up again, 114 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:51,788 I'll have something for him this time. 115 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:54,915 ♪♪ 116 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,785 Really? What is it? 117 00:04:58,875 --> 00:04:59,995 How did you even -- 118 00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:02,333 Oh... you forgot to lock the back door. 119 00:05:03,708 --> 00:05:04,878 [ Eight-bit zapping ] 120 00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:07,708 Seriously, what is wrong with you? 121 00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,712 Justice is what's wrong with me. 122 00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:12,042 I'm not a doctor... 123 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,285 [ Groans ] 124 00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:16,495 You're not going to give up on this, are you? 125 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,753 I can't. 126 00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:22,963 ♪ Then I guess this is how it's gotta be ♪ 127 00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:25,332 [ Gunshot ] 128 00:05:25,417 --> 00:05:28,207 Uh... Should we be worried? 129 00:05:28,292 --> 00:05:30,712 About Lazor? Nah, he's good. 130 00:05:30,792 --> 00:05:32,212 Stupid Horse, is right though. 131 00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:33,542 He is usually back by now. 132 00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:35,705 This Carl Weathers character... 133 00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:38,082 I just don't know. 134 00:05:38,167 --> 00:05:41,127 ♪♪ 135 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,998 Ooh! I'm about to beat the high score y'all! 136 00:05:44,083 --> 00:05:45,963 Shots fired at Carl Weathers' house. 137 00:05:46,042 --> 00:05:48,632 Get your asses there pronto. 138 00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:49,958 Oh, no! But I'm so close! 139 00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,212 Now! 140 00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:56,502 Let's go-o-o-o! 141 00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,253 Lazor Wulf might've done it this time. 142 00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,253 I hope we're not too late. 143 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:01,423 Y'all hear that? 144 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:06,830 Let's go-o-o-o! 145 00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:08,997 Mm, I think I'm going to sit this one out. 146 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:10,713 I've got a bad feeling about this. 147 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:14,042 No one care about you, Michael! 148 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,625 You'll never be a part of our group! 149 00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,997 [ Shatters ] 150 00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:21,673 Awww, my raisin soup. 151 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:24,330 ♪♪ 152 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,667 You should've just left me alone! 153 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,960 You made me do this to you! 154 00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,042 [ Grumbles ] [ Door bell clunking ] 155 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,535 What? Who could that be? 156 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,285 [ High pitched ] ♪ Who is it? ♪ 157 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,745 It's the Woop-Woops! Open the door! 158 00:06:35,833 --> 00:06:37,833 Ooh, uh, it's okay. 159 00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:39,327 I'm totally fine now. 160 00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:41,957 Okay... So... 161 00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:44,882 Where is Lazor Wulf? Ha, well, I killed -- 162 00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:46,828 [ Gasps ] I mean, I mean, 163 00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,127 we talked it out and he went home. 164 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,378 Open the door, Carl. 165 00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,998 Okay, I'm opening the door real slow. 166 00:06:54,083 --> 00:06:56,253 It's going to take me a couple minutes. 167 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,253 There's a lot of locks on this door. 168 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,003 [ Pop, groans ] 169 00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:03,753 What the fuck is wrong with you, Carl?! 170 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,713 Hmm! You not going nowhere, my dude. 171 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,002 Let me go! 172 00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:08,333 Where's my brother? 173 00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,417 Yeah! Where the hell is Lazor Wulf? 174 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,380 I don't know who you're talking about! 175 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:16,628 Oh, you don't, huh? 176 00:07:16,708 --> 00:07:18,828 Hold him still King Yeti! 177 00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:20,247 [ Groans ] 178 00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,833 Wow. 179 00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,827 You weren't ever going to open the door, were you? 180 00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,247 [ Ding-ding-ding ] 181 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:28,333 Where is he, Carl?! 182 00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:30,327 Ugh, I think I found him. 183 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,627 Oh, no. 184 00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,538 What the fuck is wrong with you, Carl?! 185 00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,455 Let me go! 186 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,880 I had to! He left me no choice! 187 00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:41,288 He wouldn't leave me alone! 188 00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,825 What does that mean? He was just being a fan! 189 00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:46,207 No! He was harassing me! 190 00:07:46,292 --> 00:07:48,212 And they did nothing to stop it! 191 00:07:48,292 --> 00:07:50,962 So, I did what I had to do! 192 00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:52,792 I knew you weren't right! 193 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:54,285 Fuck all of you! 194 00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:56,125 I just wanted to be left alone! 195 00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,918 Well you will be left alone -- 196 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,250 for the rest of your life... 197 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,793 In a prison cell! 198 00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,035 Don't step on my line! 199 00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:03,035 My bad. 200 00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,205 Carl Weathers, 201 00:08:04,292 --> 00:08:06,212 you are under arrest 202 00:08:06,292 --> 00:08:08,882 for the murder of Lazor Wulf. 203 00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:11,078 No, he's not. Lazor?! 204 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:14,077 You're alive?! Wait a minute... 205 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:15,827 No, you wait a minute, 206 00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:18,537 I have more words to say. 207 00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:22,745 [ Gasps, laughs maniacally ] How?! I shot you! 208 00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:26,383 Did you -- or do you remember shooting my... 209 00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:27,958 stunt double! 210 00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:31,382 Ah, the classic stunt double trick. 211 00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:32,578 [ Applause ] 212 00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,037 Awesome! So no one's dead. 213 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:36,245 Let him go! 214 00:08:36,333 --> 00:08:38,923 Hold up. Someone is dead! 215 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,080 I knew you killed Action Jackson and I told you 216 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,577 I was going to bring you to justice. 217 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:43,917 You're still on this shit? 218 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,380 How can I kill someone who doesn't exist? 219 00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,628 He did exist and I figured the only way 220 00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:53,328 I could prove it was by finding his body. 221 00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:55,417 And there was only one way to do that... 222 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:59,920 I had to make Carl believe that he killed me too. 223 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,580 I followed behind, saw him go to the basement, 224 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,287 and saw him head to this chest -- 225 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,915 this exact chest right here. 226 00:09:08,958 --> 00:09:13,038 Holy shit! Ho-ly shit! 227 00:09:13,125 --> 00:09:15,455 I dunno, I kinda saw that coming. 228 00:09:15,542 --> 00:09:19,042 Bullshit, Wallace! You ain't seen shit coming! 229 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:22,245 Whatever man. 230 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:25,173 I... I just wanted peace! 231 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:28,960 I kept -- I kept telling him I wasn't Action Jackson! 232 00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:33,632 Why couldn't he listen?! 233 00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:34,708 Wait a minute... 234 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:37,462 so Action Jackson is a real person? 235 00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:40,212 Of course, what else would he be? 236 00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:44,332 I thought if I just got rid of Jackson... 237 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:49,037 Sorry -- I thought if I just rid of Action... 238 00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:52,205 maybe he'd stop bugging me! 239 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,542 That doesn't make any sense! 240 00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:57,455 Why would he stop bugging you if you did that? 241 00:09:57,542 --> 00:10:00,502 You don't get to say that! 242 00:10:00,583 --> 00:10:04,503 How does a wolf with a laser on his back make sense? 243 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:06,503 Does it make sense that same wolf 244 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,503 with a with a laser on his back, 245 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:11,333 is a fan of Action Jackson? 246 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:15,747 Only five people have watched that movie! 247 00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:17,963 Five! 248 00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,082 Five?! 249 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,627 You's a piece of shit, Carl, 250 00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:23,748 and I hope you rot! [ Growls ] 251 00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,753 Look as long as I have my peace and don't have to see him again, 252 00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,923 I regret nothing! 253 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,630 Take him away. 254 00:10:31,708 --> 00:10:34,248 I used to beat the crap out of Cody in Street Fighter 255 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,213 on the daily. 256 00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:37,002 I'll do just fine in jail. 257 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:39,133 Carl Weathers, bitch! 258 00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:40,918 Lazor, where are you going? 259 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,920 I already got what I was looking for. 260 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,040 What was that? 261 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,165 To prove I was right, Canon. 262 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:49,040 Action Jackson is a documentary. 263 00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,575 [ Explosion ] 264 00:10:51,667 --> 00:11:00,707 ♪♪ 265 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:09,792 ♪♪ 266 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:16,375 ♪♪ 18162

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