Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da ♪

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪

[ Rooster caws ]

[ Sighs ] Being stuck in God's house

is definitely my specific version of Hell.

Lord, how do these spinnas always find a way

to destroy the Earth?

Did you just call yourself in vain?

This Earth experiment has been a complete failure.

I am not sending them back.

-Not this time. -You sure about that?

'Cause you always saying you don't like folks up here.

God: Shut up, Wallace!

[ Squeak! ]

Hey, man, where's the bathroom?

I've been walking around for like 45 seconds,

and all I see are clouds.

[ Bird caws ]

-Rrr! Top... -God: Stay outta there!

Don't you see the sign?!

'Cause I'm a bad boy!

[ Punches landing ]

Oh, shit! Lookie here!

[ Ding! ]

How does that even work?

[ Gasping, laughing ]

This is useless but extraordinary!

Almost like a hologram concert.

Useless but extraordinary?

That's my whole bag.

What else is in here? I swear...

[ Thud ]

It ain't ideal, but we did get the Earth blown up...

again.

[ Howling ]

Blazor Wulf: Hey, could y'all stop howling?

The moon is pissed, and she's about to make

an example out of us.

[ Howling ]

Luna: I'll make sure these shitholes never disrespect me ever again.

Blazor Wulf: [ Sighs ] Just make it quick.

[ Shriek ] [ Explosion ]

Fair point. Eh.

I say if we all got to live here,

let's try and make it work. Blazor,

I don't know how many times I have to say this,

but I don't do work. [ Bray ]

The only thing I plan on doing is finding a way out of here.

You do that.

I'mma go try to negotiate with 'Ol Bighead

and get some land up here.

God damn it, Wallace! They finding all my shit!

-Just snap them all back. -[ Gasps ]

Hell no.

I wouldn't be a deity if I wasn't stubborn.

It's time to activate my panic bubble.

Dude, you left me ou-- Never mind.

I don't care.

Smart idea, God.

These folks be so draining.

What the fuck are you doing in my bubble, little girl?

Shh. I'm about to go live!

Hey, fans! It's me, your girl,

hanging out with God.

You see where we at?

You know what the fuck goin' on.

Say what up to the people, God.

Uh-uh. You gotta go.

You annoying as shit.

You gonna regret this. I swear!

And once I find the edge of this thing,

I'll just jump and hope for the best.

Sounds like a plan, my dude.

Damn right.

Do you see that?

That weird-ass ominous cloud?

[ Whooshing ]

Nope, can't say I do.

I'mma move my story along and go touch it.

[ Fast-forwarding whine ]

I have all the secrets.

All the secrets?

Maybe it's got the secret of getting the fuck outta here.

Secrets...

Ahem. One could say that

walking away from the plot

is how we got here.

Where am I?

I am... [clears throat]

I am Sharlipa, and welcome to ThatCloud.

Here is where we store all the secrets of the universe.

You know, the good info.

That's nice. Where's Heaven's exit?

Did you know how many cakes God has smashed to smithereens?

And I don't mean birthday celebrations, okay?

Cakes? Smithereens?

Ooh, is this a puzzle? 'Cause I like puzzles.

Some would say that I'm a puzzle.

Listen, if you wanna know anything,

you better listen to me.

I know everything about everyone, okay?

Plus my information is up to date and never fake.

Hmm. Right.

Should I be taking this down because -- Wait, hold on.

Let me grab a paper and pen really quick.

Sharlipa: Sorry, we don't really quantify any of the informa...

[ Rattles ]

[ Beep ] Hello?

Kinny? Listen, I need your help.

I'm looking to procure some property up here.

Can you look up -- hello?

[ Giggles ] Hey, boss!

Do you see me?

I'm with Canon and Stupid Horse and a flying sneaker!

What's good, Blazooor!

[ Laughs ] Heeey! Byeee!

-[ Sighs ] -Hey, girl.

We outchea living our best dead lives.

Oh, yeah. Hoo-hoo.

I mean, I'm not dead yet, but y'know.

I'll just get this done myself.

Sharlipa: We store info people should know...

♪♪

Did this fool really put himself in a bubble?

I know you hear me!

I just want to ask you one question.

[ Thinking ] Is that Blazor Wulf?

It is. I know she's trying to finesse me.

I'mma just act like I'm asleep. [Snores]

Are you seriously gonna ignore me?

I'm just trying to talk to you about some acreage.

Go away, I'm asleep.

No, you're not.

You go'n give me what I want.

[ Scoffs ] Damn.

Hey, what's going on over there? Sharlipa: I have all the...

Just reading my haikus!

And ding dong, he not even dead.

He's just doing inventory at Musty's,

which is really like a Boy Named Stock takes on The Ark.

So there's some sort of door involved?

And it leads straight to M-- O...kay.

So what exactly is going on in this place?

You're in ThatCloud, and this is Sharlipa.

And as for me, I'm trying to solve this Cubriks Rube.

Ah, there's -- Exactly.

So it takes seven days to do the count over there

because they smuggle two of every single thing

they can find in Milwaukee.

Let there be lemon and lime.

Her language is so dramatic.

She's probably a child of the theater.

First and foremost, digging the space.

Also, the name? ThatCloud? Brilliant.

Seven days to do the count... Thank you.

You know, I be watching your moves, too,

and your business acumen is on another level.

Not too sure about that.

How many cakes? What do you mean?

[ Sighs ] I can't even get Ol' Bighead

to give me my dang 40 acres and a stupid horse up here!

Well, oop, girl. Broke Phi Broke.

He can't flip the square footage if he ain't got it.

-Could you hurry this convo up? -Lazor, hush.

-So he's been squatting up here? -Hellur!

I have all the secrets, and it's Squat City,

Squat-Squat City up here.

Secrets... So, who owns Heaven, then?

Maybe she got a secret to get the fuck out of here.

Well, the Cuter Shooter, The Youth.

She slurped up some secret saucy inheritance

from her dead-ass, dead-beat dad, duh.

Don't even ask how he got the deed.

When you play -- It probably was in a dice game.

It's always a dice game. Uh, yeah.

Well, I have to go steal a giant lollipop from a child.

Sharlipa, it's been a pleasure. Call me sometime.

Lazor, I'll leave you to it.

Okay, so back to what we were talking about.

Am I gonna need a lemon or a lime?

'Cause I'm just trying to get it right.

You know, Lazor Wulf,

I think it's funny and King Yeti's friendship

doesn't develop throughout the show.

Are you two #FrontinForLikes?

Is this a hint?

It's probably a hint.

Hello, little terrorist -- I mean, child.

What is wrong?

That dusty old fathead yelled at me

and attacked my amazing character.

Well, that sucks.

Um, would you like some candy?

Fuck no!

I'm not a toddler, Blood!

I want -- need revenge.

Revenge, you say?

I might just be able to help you out.

I see that long back and that flat tea tummy.

What size do you wear?

You're a little Basic Becky style-wise but...

Hmm...

Listen, are you a cool tone or warm tone?

I'm talking skin.

Cool tone.

And I think I might've figured out

how to get out of Heaven.

Pardon?

So, basically, I gotta find the cake,

smash it into smithereens,

inside there'll be a box of lemons,

paint myself yellow, and hide inside the lemons.

There I will wait for seven minutes

'til I finally teleport out of Heaven.

Right?

[ Sighs ]

You're really no fun to gossip with -- like, at all.

What is your malfunction, my guy?

Look, I gotta get to it.

So just hit me with that yea or nay.

Sure, whatever.

Just go. Cool, cool.

Thanks for your help, Sharlipa. I really hope that you ha--

Get the fuck out of my cloud.

Yo, could you help me find a cake?

You missed my haiku, but basically... [ Shattering ]

...you can't outrun fate, my guy. Why would I?

You know I've never ran a day in my life.

[ Braying ]

Something tells me I should probably destroy this,

but at this point, I think it's safe to say

that I will always exercise my free will to ignore.

As you purported, I can agree

to not disagree with that statement.

Your genius is unparalleled.

Hmm, it isn't.

Hellur?

Well, hello. It's me, your new landlord,

and I demand back rent immediately,

or I will evict you expeditiously.

How did you even get the deed to this place?

[ Typing, punch noise ]

Nobody's even supposed to know all about that.

This deed right here? [ Whistles ]

You can thank her.

Revenge! Suck a fart, you clown!

She sold this land to me, and thus I will exercise

my right to manifest my destiny and kick yo ass out.

You can't just keep burning all your bushes.

That was her daddy?!

Losing a deed to Heaven in a dice game

is probably dumbest thing you've ever done.

I... Need you to pay up.

[ Coughs ]

[ Cheering ] -Yay!

That's great, but the rest of these spinnas gotta go.

This is zoned as a two-person occupancy unit

and maybe Frasier Crane sometimes.

-This is some bull-sh-- -Whatever.

Y'all were fuckin' the place up anyways.

All of y'all can get the fuck gone.

[ Snap, whooshing ]

All: Success.

God: I got "Blu Bloods" to watch.

Hurry up, Wallace! This is supposed to be

an important episode we can't miss!

How you don't got OnDemand?

Next time on "Blu Bloods," how do two vampire cops

fight a killer that leaves no trace?

Hmm...

seems like we're looking for a ghost.

Captain, I hate to bring this to you so close to dawn,

but I think we're dealing with...

The Agenda.

Bom-bom!

Dun-daaah!

[ Laughing ]

♪♪

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