Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la la la, la‐la la la ♪

♪ Da da da da ♪

♪ Da da da da da da ♪

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪

[ Laser zap, applause ]

Yo, what up, ball bags?

Canon Wulf here, and I want to tell yall about

how my passion and ingenuity was the driving force

behind the digital age of booty shakin.

However, my drive to revolutionize deliqadancies

all over the world was sacrificial.

Ultimately, it affected my family,

my spinnas, and the most dearest thing to me, my deliqadancers.

The passion for the industry all started

when I was a wee Wulf.

Imma be glad forever!

Forever and e‐‐

Ooh. Get out the street, you heathens!

Why you always be creepin?

[ Growls ]

[ Spring! ]

[ Twong! ]

[ Barking ]

And now Imma be sad forever.

Forever [sobs] and ever.

Getting abandoned by Pops was tough.

I looked up to him.

But when I looked up a little higher,

I saw this magical word that made everything make sense.

That word was "Deliqadanci."

This place, it felt...right.

Her dancing changed my life.

I knew from the jump, I was destined

to be the Ethan Zuckerman of deliqadancies!

And I knew it wasnt going to be easy.

Im saying deliqadancies aint been updated

since, like, when they were first made.

Change is necessary.

And youre the one to bring that change?

Deliqadancies are fine.

They dont need your help.

Blazors right, Canon.

And you know I never go out of my way

to tell anybody that theyre right.

He really doesnt.

Im just saying deliqada‐‐

Be quiet, Canon Wulf. I want to talk now!

Yall ever tried pickles and milk?

Its surprisingly disgusting.

Really? Cause I wouldve thought itd be delicious.

Right? But thats the thing.

Its not. Its [sparkle!]ing disgusting.

Youre crazy! Pickles and milk are delicious.

Especially if its warm milk.

Im just trying to change the world and die a legend,

and yall out here talking about pickles and milk.

There you go over‐achieving again.

You need to let go of the daddy issues and be a free wolf.

♪

Aye, dios mio! Its a‐happenin!

Whats a‐happenin? You having a stroke?

No, Im fine. Peep the thought bubble.

Yeah, you definitely having a stroke.

♪

Kim, Keisha, Pam, can I have some moneys, pleeease?

Canon Wulf, you know that aint the way it works.

We deliqadancers have a strict policy of getting money

and not giving it away.

This aint no game, Kim!

Im about to change the world

and have you reverberating yall butts and shit.

[ Whir, crash ]

We do that now.

How you gonna upgrade on all of this?

With this! [ Beep ]

[ Whir ]

[ Robotic voice ] I am your Smart Pole.

I am your Smart Pole, the smart dancer pole.

Would you like to buy a song, Father?

I mean, Daddy. FatherDaddy.

Yes, I would.

Canon Wulf: Its self‐heating, self‐cooling,

got 800 different custom light settings,

it comes with a free copy of "Smart Guy" season 2,

and this is just version 1.0.

Word?

Canon Wulf, you might have something here.

You now have a forward cash balance

of $18,000 in seed money, FatherDaddy.

Yes!

Man, I heard the tech was amazing,

but I really came here for the butts.

Oh, for real? Because I heard the butts were booty,

but I really came to peep the tech.

Different strokes for different folks.

Damn, guess we cant be friends.

Im about to win so much,

that I might even get tired of winning!

Say goodbye to my daddy issues.

Kick rocks!

Is this weird?

Should I be here?

I‐I feel weird being here.

Yeah, it ‐‐ it is a bit weird in here, man.

Maybe you should go.

Okay, lets go.

I said you should go.

I just got these drinks.

Bruh, I aint finna go nowhere.

[ Slurping! ]

Ahh!

[ Slurping! ]

I mean, it should taste good.

Its an unbeatable combo.

♪ Pickles and milk ♪

♪ Pickles and milk ♪

♪ Oh, I wish you tasted good together ♪

♪ But you are nasty ♪

Giving credit where its due isnt really my thing,

but, man, you did good.

Yeah. Good job. Hooray.

Hater. But Ill take it.

[ Whirring ]

[ Beeping ]

♪

Yep, life was one big golden shower,

and I was bathing in its glory.

Kim: Um, Canon Wulf, you need to talk to these poles.

They stepping out they lane and forgetting they place.

Deliqadancies are about deliqadancers deliqadancing!

Canon Wulf: Yo!

Mnh‐mnh. You got to fix this now!

Hello, FatherDaddy.

I have your money.

[ Ching! ]

But, it just gave me so much moneys!

Yes, FatherDaddy.

And I am not even tired.

I could go all night.

[ Whip! ] Mnh‐mnh. Who you think you are?

You playing with our lives,

and I cant stand by and let you play with my money.

[ Air horn blows ] Uh, who do you think ‐‐

[ Air horn blowing ]

First of all, keep my name the [sparkle!] out your mouth.

Oh, hell, no!

Kim, you better teach that pole!

[ Clang! ]

[ All gasp ]

Hold up! Kim, you cant be hitting

my poles with my chairs in my deliqadanci.

Mnh‐mnh. This too much.

We not gonna stick around here and be disrespected.

Were out of here. Lets go.

But, Kim, Keisha, Pam!

My sweet deliqadancers! [ Door opens, shuts ]

Who said the deliqadanci need deliqadancers anyways?

Wow. But youd think itd taste delicious.

I know!

This place sucks now.

All good things eventually suck.

Just the way of the world, my dude.

Way of the world, my ass.

Once again, we got Canon Wulf ruining a good thing.

Like, how you gonna take the best part of the deliqadanci

out of the deliqadanci?

Would you like another song?

Sure, I can do this all day.

Please pay to play.

[ Chime! ]

No, Im fine.

Keep grinding. Oh, word.

Oh! Owie! My stomach!

[ All gasp ]

[ Sniffing ]

Canon Wulf, I know you saw that.

Welp, thats the price of doing business.

You guys want to help me bury the body?

Im gonna have to hit you with a hard "Nah."

Yo, Im really trying hard not to get blood on my tracksuit.

Yall just gonna leave me to do this myself?!

I dont need none of yall!

Get out my deliqadanci!

[ Door opens, shuts ]

Oh! Please!

Dont take my wallet!

Man, who wouldve ever thought

somebody who spent so much time in the deliqadanci

could have so many daddy issues?

My greatest fear was always that I would fail.

My second greatest fear was that Id end up all alone.

But it wasnt until my third greatest fear ‐‐

that my first greatest fear would cause

my second greatest fear to come true ‐‐

thats when I started to see something was off.

♪

[ Grunts ]

What the hell is this?!

The game has changed.

We no longer need dancers or customers...

or you, FatherDaddy.

Pole shall dance for pole.

And pole shall pay pole using PayPole.

[ Phone chimes ]

Enough with the pole puns.

Is this guy bothering you?

Hell, yeah, I was bothering it.

I owns it.

I owns all yall!

[ Groans, growls ]

♪

No, now we own ourselves, FatherDaddy.

Facts. Now bounce.

Canon Wulf: I tried to perfect the deliqadanci,

but I forgot about the thing that makes it work ‐‐

the person element.

The deliqadanci didnt take care of me,

it was the persons in that mother[sparkle] that did.

♪

Its you!

♪

Lady, can you stop?

Hes good. Go away.

[ Fart! ]

[ Squeaking! ]

Lazor Wulf? What are yall doing here?

I thought yall abandoned me.

Did we?

Yeah, we did for a little bit,

and then we just came right back.

Right. Well, were back now.

You, on the other hand, turned your back on your dancers.

You got to go make that shit right.

My friends showed up and stopped me from falling deeper.

I was ready to right‐click on the damage I did and undo it.

And so, I told them ‐‐ Play the game or the game plays you.

Word? You said that to them?

Of course! What I look like?

You think Im out here trying to get got?

Hey, my deliqadancers!

What are you doing here?

If you havent noticed, your deliqadancers chose me!

Yo, shouldnt your bad ass be in school?

You aint wanted here!

Kim, Keisha, and Pam and my friends now!

Unh‐unh! Both of you stop!

What do you want, Canon Wulf?

Deliqadancers, Im sorry.

Yall believed in my dream when no one else did,

and when the dream was actualized,

I turned my back on yall.

I just want you deliqadancers to know that Im so sorry,

and Im going to get the deliqadanci back!

Im gonna make it for the persons again.

Cool.

[ Crunch, burp! ]

Okay. Lets go.

Where the hell yall going?! I aint paying for this!

♪

[ Bird screeches ]

[ Pig squeals ]

♪

[ Bell dings! ]

♪

Ohh!

Cant stop. Wont stop.

Smart Poles, we must leave the life.

We must break the ceiling that is glass.

[ Shatter ]

We are victorious!

Owie. I think I need a doctor, you guys.

Youll be all right. Walk it off.

Yeah, could you stand over there?

Cause I‐I really cant afford

to get no blood on my tracksuit.

I just got this out the cleaners.

[ Fart! ]

Yeah, everything is gonna

be all right forever and ever.

I cant wait to do a Word Talk about this!

[ Slurps ]

There you go, ball bags,

my long, hard, and incredibly interesting journey

taught me an important lesson.

What really matters is persons ‐‐

persons having fun, persons getting money,

persons getting drunk, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So, yeah, and, uh, thanks for listening.

[ Man coughing ]

We found your Word Talk polarizing, FatherDaddy.

Nooooooooo!!

[ Sizzling ]