Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la

♪ La, la la la, la‐la la la

♪ Da da da da

♪ Da da da da da da

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[ Both howling ]

Look at you. [ Howling continues ]

Looking all good up there.

Thats right, baby. Everybodys got that inner glow.

But hey, I have a bootleg copy of the 1985

Berry Gordy‐produced "The Last Dragon" on LaserDisc.

Hey, Canon Wulf, its your move.

[ Howls ]

[ Cellphone rings ] Its Blazor Wulf.

Whats up, sis? ‐Where are you guys?

Currently, were howling at The Moon.

Whassup? ‐Oh, God.

Let me talk to Canon real quick.

This what youre doing right now?

Tomorrow is my annual weave blowout sale,

and you both agreed to helping me set up.

I got Jermajesty Jackson coming through,

and lets be clear ‐‐ he aint cheap.

Oh, damn, I guess I forgot.

But can you blame me?

Who can think of weaves when The Moons out tonight

and looking so damn fine?

I just gotta show my appreciation!

[ Howls ]

Moon looking fine?

What the hell are you talking about?

Im tryin to do it big and youre busy howling

at a goddamn moon?

Youre a piece of [Bshh]. ‐Whatever.

Well get there when we get there. Bye.

Seemed like that couldve been something important.

Homegirls gotta just understand that we busy right now.

Not everything runs on Blazor Wulf time.

You, put that there!

And, uh, would you hang that sign on the left?

Kimmy, did you get my hot wings?

Also, could someone check on Jermajesty, please?

Shouldve been here by now

Hold up, did you just say

the Jermajesty Jackson is gonna be here?

Yes, Jermajesty,

the dopest lip‐syncher in the mother[Bshh] galaxy.

And I paid a ton of money for him to be here.

Screw these hair dryers, Im about to rob me a Jackson!

Ha ha! Gimme that!

The hell is your [Bshh] father, your dad, whatever you call him?

Who the [Bshh] cares?!

[ Glass shatters ]

You know what? Whatever.

Damn, you looking thick as heck!

Thick as heck, I say!

It stars Taimak, Vanity, and Julius Carry as Shonuff.

Its a classic film.

Youll love it, I promise.

Homeys name is Taimak?

Thats sick. Aint it, though?

Ima probably change my name to Taimak.

Important question.

You ever seen a nice‐ass moon

and just... wanted to pee on it?

Nah, cant really say that thats ever crossed my mind.

Could you two quit it?

Cause that would be greatly appreciated on my end.

Oh, [Bshh]. Did you hear that?

Methinks its trying to say something? I dont know.

Sounds like a bunch of weird noises to me.

Maybe its complimenting our mustaches.

Listen, Im just trying to do my 12 hours and dip, okay?

Im not here to get hollered at and/or peed on.

Yo! What is you saying, Ma?

Im saying, "Go away and leave me alone!"

Are you getting this?

Im, like, completely lost here.

I dont know, I might hear a hint of Norwegian?

Maybe its showing appreciation

for all the compliments were giving it.

Probably not, but lets roll with it anyway.

[ Howling ]

[ Scoffs ] Yall really workin my last nerve.

[ Energy warbling ]

[ Waves crashing ]

Whoa.

Yo, the homeys definitely need to see this.

Blazor Wulf: [ Sighs ] Damn,

this fools supposed to be here an hour ago.

Let me see whats up.

Hi, its me ‐‐ Jermajesty.

Im in the uGoGo, way to Blazor Wulfs Weave Blow Out.

Wait a minute. What is that?! [ Howling ]

Poor person, stop the car.

Now, wait a minute.

Its bananas over here.

Its some wolves howling and what not.

Seems like a party!

Yooooo! Its Jermajesty!

Come through!

[ Gong sounds ]

So, like, you know, I had somewhere

I was "paid" to be, but whatever to that [Bshh],

cause Im allowed to ignore my responsibilities

because Im famous.

I just made some new friends.

Say hi to Lazor Wulf and Canon Wulf.

[ Howling ]

Those mother[Bshh].

Blazor Wulf! The world would love to know,

on a scale of 1 to 10, how mad are you right now?

Id be at like a 20 if I were you. [ Chuckles ]

But thats just me.

4,579, Jamantha.

Im at a 4,579.

Girl, I know thats right. Lets keep watching.

You got this, Jermajesty. Just believe in yourself.

I mean, but I aint never ‐‐ Just do it, already!

God damn!

[ Howling ]

Im now at a full 4,580, Jamantha, and [chuckles]

I think Im gonna go [Bshh] Jermajesty Jackson up.

There you have it ‐‐ Blazor Wulf is going to [Bshh]

Jermajesty Jackson up. Back to you.

[ Howling ]

You guys dont seem to heed warnings.

Hey, guys. Thats no way to talk to a moon.

Well, you can go if you dont like it.

Actually, it might be best if you leave.

Well, Im just saying, it seems a little grotesque,

out of control, kind of inconsiderate to The Moon.

I dont know, I just ‐‐ Oh, my God!

Is that Jermajesty Jackson?!

Oh! Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

Lazor, Canon!

Bye‐bye.

Yeah, you better run. Lazor Wulf?

Hey, Blazor, h‐hows it goin?

Its not going anywhere.

Where is Jermajesty? I dont know.

But I bet you aint know that Berry Gordy

produced "The Last Dragon." Oh, my God.

She aint know.

[ Howling ] Whats good, Blazor?

Nothings good, Yeti. Have you seen Jermajesty?

Hes either giving me my money back or Im taking his legs.

You leave Jermajestys legs alone!

Were about to perform together.

Jermajesty! You better give me my money back.

Never! [ Howls ]

[ Energy warbles ]

Wait, what is happening?

Im about this close to [Bshh] yall shit all the way up!

Hold up. Did you guys hear that?

I dont hear [Bshh].

[ Howling ]

Shut the [Bshh] up!

Something is really wrong.

Hello. My name is Blazor Wulf.

Hi, girl. My name is Luna.

And these spinnas got me [Bshh] up!

I work hard, and these nerds got the nerve talkin at me like

I wont bust they [Bshh]? Well see.

Oh, see, right there is where you messed up. [ Chuckles ]

These folk right here, they dont listen, like, at all.

They dont! But that wont be a problem soon,

cause Im about to slap this whole planet in the face!

Oh, [Bshh].

[ Howling continues ]

Hey! Yall need to stop this mess right now.

The Moon? Not a fan, and is more than willing to come down here

and make that clear.

Its about to kill us all,

and if I have to cancel my Weave Blowout Sale

cause of this, I swear to God!

So, youre able to understand it? Im impressed.

But I dont appreciate being impressed.

I think its coming down to show its appreciation.

About time!

Oh, my God, you are so dumb!

Women dont like being treated like objects,

and objects dont like being treated

like women being treated like objects.

Youre making no sense. Go do your Weave Sale thing.

We are gonna just continue making The Moon happy, okay?

[ Howling ]

As a matter of fact Ima make T‐shirts.

Jamantha Carthwright live from Montgomery Cliff.

An impromptu moon gathering has broken out.

It is being called That Moon Glo Festival.

Its bringing people from all over our fair city

to celebrate The Moon.

The Moon, 20,000 years old,

has been showing us extreme behavioral changes,

some resulting in seriously weird [Bshh].

No need to fret, however.

Moon worshippers see The Moons reaction as positive

and full of appreciation? Word?

Everything I do is innovative, Jamantha.

Not only are we throwing this festival in her honor,

we also got all these folks here showing their appreciation.

And The Moon loves it!

Its coming down to say "thanks."

You trying to buy a T‐shirt?

Dont you feel like its a little bit exploitative?

Yeah, Jamantha. Yeah, I do.

Nobody asked you!

Jamantha, The Moon is public domain,

free for everybody. You know ‐‐

Wait. Hey, yo!

You selling bootleg T‐shirts?!

Get your own hustle!

Keep playing, and you gonna get yourself hurt out here.

Go suck a fart, you cornball!

Next time, trademark your shit!

Weve been able to catch up with another one

of the founding howlers of the Moon Glo Festival, Lazor Wulf.

Lazor, how does it feel to have brought

so many people together for this event?

Regular. Jamantha, I bring people together every day.

Look over there.

I even got Jermajesty Jackson to come through.

Oh! Oh, goodness! There he is, lookin all precious.

End the broadcast! Im about to go get my mic signed!

[ Energy warbling ]

[ Waves crashing ]

Okay, thats it. Im shutting this [Bshh] down.

[ Cellphone dials, ringing ]

♪

[ Telephone rings ]

Brah, Im fittin to answer this phone.

No, no, no. Dont answer that. Bro, why not?

Its probably about this Moon situation thats going on.

Shouldnt you answer it? I could do that,

but Id rather just keep watching TV.

Fair enough.

Im quite sure they could settle this amongst themselves.

Yeah, yeah, aight, aight.

[ To "Thriller" ] ♪ Because this is scary

♪ Unh, scary night

♪ We love The Moon so much

♪ The Moon is thick as hell

Oh, my ankle!

Luna, wait! They ‐‐

They know not what they do.

Seriously, theyre just a bunch of head‐ass dumbass dickheads.

That being true, they still gotta die.

[ Cries ]

My ankle! I think its bruised!

Im never gonna dance again!

[ Howls ]

Shut up. I want my damn payment back,

you human‐shaped bag of shit.

Unh‐unh. Never!

Boy, dont you try to crawl away all slowly

with your fingers while Im talking to you.

[ Howling continues ] You disrespectful fools.

You might see a big fat‐ass glowing rock in the sky,

but that big fat‐ass glowing rock has a name,

and its Luna.

Right now, Lunas pissed.

And Lunas going to kill us all.

Hey, yo, Blazor!

I think I finally know what you talking bout!

No, you dont.

Youre right, I dont, period.

But a piece of advice?

[ Sighs ] What, Yeti?

Folks would be more receptive to your message

if you just smile more.

Hey, just make it quick.

No problem, I got you.

♪

[ Howling ]

KO!

♪

So, I guess this means the sale is off?

Thats exactly what it means.

And that means we dont have to help, right?

Right.

Nice.

♪

♪

♪

[ Clang, drumroll ]

♪