Original subtitles

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la la la, la‐la la la ♪

♪ Da da da da, da da da da da da ♪

♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪

Lazor Wulf: You got this, man. Just one more.

Done! Next! [ Chuckles ]

Canon Wulf, thats 103 mozzarella sticks in an hour.

You never fail to impress me.

It was actually seven minutes, my dude.

Ive never seen anything like it.

Hey, I need 103 more sticks.

Im going to the bathroom,

but dont yall dare think about me going to the bathroom!

[ Door opens ] Mozzarella sticks with the comrades.

Thats what life is all about.

[ Ding! ]

♪ Its me, Stupid Ho‐o‐rse ♪

Oh. Hey, Stupid Horse.

I thought Id come to Esthers to grab some food.

You know I love to get some salad on the Cobb

with the ♪ homies! ♪

Well, the homies thought you were busy.

Well, youd know my schedge

if you accept my calendar invite ‐‐ Put that thing away.

You know I dont mix food with my technology.

Its common knowledge.

Aw! Snap!

We got the mozzarella sticks ♪ on deck! ♪

They dont always agree with the ol hamsteroids, but...

Now, whyd you have to go and do that, my dude?

Hey, what are you doing? Those are Canon Wulfs sticks.

So?

There are like 102 of em.

[ Toilet flushes ] Hes not gonna notice.

Yo, what the...

Stupid Horse. Hell you talkin bout?

Stupid Horse aint even here!

Uh, hello! [ Chuckles ]

[ Growling ] Im ‐‐ Im sitting right next to you.

You live up to your name more and more every day.

[ Chuckles ]

Look, its just one ‐‐

Ah, come on! Its your boy!

♪ Ooh‐hoo! ♪

[ Cat screeches ]

Stop it, Canon Wulf!

Daaaah!

Look at what you did, Stupid Horse.

Me?!

You just tried to kill me!

Ask me if Im sorry!

Great. Now I can starve to death.

[ Chuckles ] Y‐Youre being a bit dramatic.

There are plenty of other places to eat.

Lets go to that place, um...M. C. Donalds.

Now, yall know that Im allergic to everything thats not from Esthers.

Remember that one time I tried to eat somewhere else?

Dont like it.

Being picky doesnt make you allergic to other food.

[ Coughs ] Take it up with my doctor.

O‐M‐G‐O‐D!

You are dying.

Face it, Stupid Horse ‐‐ Esthers is gone.

Time to go home now and die.

Aw, man! I dont know how this is my fault,

but I gotta fix it somehow.

♪ Are you there, God? ♪

♪ Its me, Stupid Hor‐‐ ♪

[ Clank ]

Ohhh! LaserDiscs.

[ Buzzing ]

Hey, Wallace. Call the FoodGoGo.

Where the [Bshh] are you?!

Hey, God. I, um...I got your food.

And I should be there in like, the, uh...estimated

25 to 85 minutes?

[Bshh]!

Oh, and yeah ‐‐

its burnt up pretty bad.

And its cold.

Wallace, what else do you want?

And dont say "Mediterranean."

Im tired of eating falafels!

Are you ready? Lets go.

[ Rapping ] ♪ Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry ♪

♪ Thick‐ass for you, thick‐ass for me ♪

♪ My thick‐ass shakes come in one size ♪

♪ Its large, no compromise ♪

♪ My name is Esther, and thats ♪

[ Slurping ] ♪ One thick‐ass shake ♪

Ahh.

Lazor Wulf: Go on.

Smile while you making that thick‐ass shake.

[ Smooches ]

Rewind it, then burn it.

No ‐‐ its one of Esthers training videos,

all on LaserDisc!

Theres a whole box of em!

"Wok Tok," "Makin Jamaican Bacon."

And look! Theres one on ♪ mozzarella sticks! ♪

Oh, shit! For real?!

I mean... man, [Bshh] mozzarellas.

What are you getting at?

Im rebuilding Esthers ‐‐ right here.

Nope. I wont let you rebuild Esthers in my house.

This is my house, though.

Yall just came over one day and never left.

It dont matter if its my house,

Lazor Wulfs house, or Canons.

The point is, there will never be another Esthers.

Besides, we got Lazor Wulfs death to plan.

[ Squeaking ]

What is this [Bshh]?

Im hosting my own Future Death Party,

and its gonna be the most good. [ Air horn blares ]

Dont be late. I can already feel deaths cold grip.

Hang in there, homey.

[ Deep voice ] I will do everything in the present

to stop you from dying in the future.

[ Paddles whining ] In a world where Stupid Horse saves Lazor Wulf...

[ Zap ] Whew! [ Chuckles ]

Man, this is gonna be a really good movie.

♪

♪

[ Ding ] Stupid Horse: Lazor Wulf! I did it!

Mm, did you really?

Ive seen way better replicas of Esthers.

Now, quit this charade and lets celebrate

[ Dance music plays ] my future death.

This is for the dead ‐‐ well, dying homey.

Welcome to Lazor Wulfs Future Death Party.

Finally time to die partying.

Just wait until you try the food.

Youre gonna love my Spanish tapatas.

Thats Spanish for "tapata."

♪

Customers?!

I will not feed all these people!

They aint here for you.

They here for the Future Death Party.

Come on in!

Oh, damn!

I...wish I could be there.

Yo, my man, is this the line for the new Esthers?

Well, is it?

Answer me, mother[Bshh]!

They got cake with bones in it?

Bruh, they got the Dancin Ladies?

Man, I wish somebody wouldve thrown

a Future Death Party for me.

Shut up, Wallace.

Why is it the only time people call my name

is when theyre in trouble?

Change my name ‐‐ to Taddrick or Maurice.

You might could actually pull off Taddrick.

[ Ringing ]

You better not tell me

that Thai Food Tanic was destroyed, too!

Actually, Esthers reopened.

And Im waiting for your first order right now.

Well, hurry up! Im hungry, God damn it!

Wallace, if my food aint here in the next 20 minutes,

Im‐a make you write an angry letter.

And Im switching to Dork Dash!

♪

Hey, yo, Dumb Horse!

We aint got our thick‐ass shakes yet.

Okay, okay, two thick‐asses comin right up

And ooh! You said "ass"!

Im tellin your daddy.

Where ‐‐ Where is your daddy?

Go get my damn shake.

[ Dance music continues ]

♪ Yo‐ho‐ho‐ho! ♪ Lazor Wulf!

Cant you see Im talking to Battle Ham, Stupid?

I find comfort in your words, my dear friend. Be well.

Look, homey! I just made you ‐‐

[ Splat! ] You didnt even try it.

The facts are that you cant replicate Esthers.

Now be a real friend and stop trying to save my life.

Its time to celebrate my future death.

Go find a pair of goggles. The light shows about to start.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, but...I cant.

I forgot I gotta save you and [Bshh].

Accept my fate.

[ Dance music continues ]

A‐hem!

Doofus Horse... thick‐ass shakes?

Man: We need some thick‐ass shakes, too! Man #2: I need some thick‐ass shakes.

Man #3: Uh, service! Excuse me? Garçon?!

Coming!

I promise, Lazor Wulf ‐‐

I will not...

[ Deep voice ] let you die.

[ Normal voice ] Yeah. Im on the way.

All right, Yeti, lets start this light show.

Im about to turn this party up a notch.

[ Squeaking ]

Stupid Horse.

What? Who...said that?

Over here. Esther?!

[ Rapping ] ♪ Give it a rest, put down the thick‐ass shake ♪

♪ You cannot do what you think you can ♪

[ Chuckles ] Thats where youre wrong.

Look ‐‐ I made shrimp scampi.

♪ You may be proud of your skramp scampi ♪

♪ But itll never be ♪

♪ Like my great‐grandpappys skramp scampi ♪

You know what, Esther?

[Bshh] you, your old‐ass great‐grampy,

and his stupid‐ass skrimp scampi.

[ Indistinct complaining ]

Name?

Montell Jordan.

But you call me Stupid Horse.

Neither are on the list.

You have got to try this.

[ High‐pitched ] It makes you talk weird.

[ Bubbling ]

[ Deep voice ] This is most bizarre.

What strain is this?

Look at him!

Hes actually starving to death!

You dont think I know that?!

[ Voice breaking ] This how I fake‐cry for real.

[ Normal voice ] Dont you ruin this for me.

Are you for real?!

Lazor Wulf aint the only customer, you know.

[ High‐pitched whining ] If I do not get my thick‐ass shake...

Not only is my friend dying and Im missing his party,

but you buggin me about thick‐ass shakes?!

I dont care about you!

Go away!

[ High‐pitched whining ] You going to wish you cared.

[ Dance music continues ]

Gods gonna kill me.

Yep!

[ Dance music continues ]

This party makes me, like, not be sad that youre dying.

Yo, at first, I was, like, real perturbed

about your future death and shit,

but this party is tight, so now Im not.

"Perturbed" ‐‐ meaning "anxious and/or upset."

[ 80s‐style synth music plays ]

A‐perturbed. Thanks, bro.

This is pretty perfect, now that you mention it.

[ Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! ]

Im thinking about dying like this every weekend.

All right, here we go.

Uh, one cup bananas and, uh, two cups allspice...

[ Rapping ] ♪ This again? I thought I told you ♪

♪ Your pad Thai tastes like my‐‐ ♪

Esther, stop.

♪ You may be right, but in the end ♪

♪ You cannot save yo best friend ♪

Shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!!

Shut uuuuuuup!

♪

[ Pan clanks ]

You did your best, and thats good enough for me.

Stupid Horse: ♪ Whoo, hoo, hoo! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! ♪

Damn it, man. What now?

[ Weakly ] I got all your favorite foods.

This again?

Im two seconds away

from writing you into my will just to take you out.

The Youth: Hey! Im giving this place a terrible review!

You are a disgrace to Esthers name

and her shakes with the thick ass!

Also, lets kill Stupid Horse.

Eh, at least she got my name right.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Look, just try one bite.

I promise if its not just like Esthers,

Ill come and join the Future Death Party

and help you die in peace.

Fine.

Only because I need to future‐die

with a clear conscience.

I will try it, but I wont like it.

♪

I like it. Im back in the life game.

Partys over. Now get the [Bshh] out my house.

Man, we came to party till you died.

This some bullshit.

You telling me I spent $1,700

on a Gabonni outfit for nothing?

Thats exactly what you did.

[ High‐pitched whining ] Now shut up and get out of my way.

God: Speak, FoodGoGo!

Got your food.

Ill be there in, um...

So, how do I get to you?

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Cackles ]

Take that, FoodGoGo!

But Im not FoodGoGo.

♪

You made your choice!

He forgot the mozzarella sticks!

Yeah, I did.

No mozzarella sticks?!

FoodGoGo! [ Thunder crashes ]

Heres to my life.

[ Slurps ]

[ Growls ]

Booooooooooooooyyyyyyy!

♪

So, no one cares that Canon Wulf keeps trying to kill me?

Lets just go to Another Esthers.

Wait. Another Esthers?

Yeah, uh...Esthers other restaurant.

You aint heard of Another Esthers?

[ Deep voice ] No, I havent.

Wait, why didnt we just go to that one?

Cause OG Esthers

got them heated toilet seats, son.

Oh, yeah. [ Chuckles ] Thats right.

It keeps ya ass hot.

[ Sizzling ]

♪