Original subtitles

- Previously on Foursome.

A scorching secret had us quaking when

Dakota's ex-girlfriend showed up on Beach Island.

- You dated a girl?

- She's a hard 10 and had us all revved.

- Yes, please.

- Unfortunately, I was randy for

more than just candy.

With the OG crew Marge charged,

it was up to Peg to save the day.

- You're one of us.

Our Foursome once again is complete.

Okay, let's talk about this.

We only have two days left here

and I don't want to waste them grumping.

What's our problem?

Why can't we lie and fry?

- Well, I--

- My lips are no longer sealed.

Marge was the last person I kissed and

that vampy vampire sucked

the man mojo right out of my mouth.

Watch this.

Who wants some sugar?

- No thanks.

- See? - Well, I--

- The other wedge is about to drop.

Everything's been going too phat.

I've got a smoking boyfriend who I really like,

I'm here with my three best buds and also Peg.

And I am totally balance beaming SUC with you and me.

Everything's too good.

It's only a matter of time before something goes wrong.

- See? It begins.

- Yeah, well, I-- - Completely bananasplitting.

I really biffed it by dividing my time

between Kent and Josh, totally overwhelmed.

- Well, I--

- Hidee-ho, fellow fun monkeys.

- Hi, Mr. Shaw. Look what I found!

- You've officially turned into

the fruit basket you are inside.

- I was getting some footage for...

something...

and I saw this at your back door, thought I'd drop it off.

- What is it?

- I don't know, but I'm dying to find out.

Open it, open it, open it, open it!

- Okay, okay.

Protein powder.

A football.

- Alec.

- Alec.

- "Dear Andie, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

"But thinking has made me a changed dude.

"I can't wait till you get home so I can show you

"what a legit big bro I can be.

"I hope you and your pals enjoy these

"tickets to a sweat lodge.

"May your journey be bitchin'.

"Muah, Alec."

- Why would Alec send you a package?

- To make things right.

Ah, I think it's beautiful.

- You know, I can't say that I saw this coming but

I have to admit, a sweat lodge does sound like the

perfect thing for all of us right now.

I can clear my mind.

- I can sweat out Marge and find my man-jo.

- And I'll be trapped in a safe space

where not much can go wrong.

- Perfect, I'll go make our reservations.

- I'm wondering why Alec said he's been thinking a lot

lately, doesn't that seem very un-Alec like?

- Yes.

But I think we should just let our candygram have this one.

I mean Alec's been making her life miserable since forever.

Not to mention we could all use a spiritual romp right now.

- I know I could.

I could definitely use footage of you guys for...

something.

- Um, sorry Mr. Shaw, but I only

made the reservation for four.

- Ah, say no more!

Ol' Shaw will catch you guys

at your next amazing, life-changing experience.

- That one's sold out, too.

- Who's ready to sweat it out on the top of Bone Mountain?

- The Swelter Shelter,

Beach Island's only sweat lodge.

- Ooh, look, Court, it's almost as dirty as you!

- Welcome to the Swelter Shelter,

where you get to the bottom by climbing to

the top of the bone, then you stop, then you turn,

then you get in the zone, then you get to

the bottom and I'll see you again!

Questions?

Oh, I meant metaphorically.

You all signed one of these, right?

Right on, let's do this, come on.

Come on, yes.

- I'm really not so sure about this.

What if Alec is trying to dehydrate us?

I really think maybe-

- Stop worrying, little lemur.

If Alec can't spell it, he doesn't know what it means.

And dehydrate has hella letters,

there's a t-

- But what if Alec-

- Shhh, Swelter Shelter.

Come, little boy.

- Oh, I'm a female.

- Okay, you can do this.

Just go in there and say, "Alec, it's possible that

"Greer is using you to get to Andie,

"and I'm not gonna let that happen."

No, I can't say that.

You're really gonna let Greer do this to your girl?

Man up, Sadack.

Stop talking to yourself.

Here we go.

Alec, I need to talk...

Whoa!

- What's up?

- What are you-- why are you even--

Greer, where is Alec?

- Oh, he'll be back shortly.

I sent him our for some NoPreg and noodles.

I love a good slurp and slam.

- Could you put some clothes on please?

- Excuse me, but you're on my turf,

and I am comfortable just the way I am,

thank you very little.

Now run along dungaroo,

I'm sure you're dying to spill to Andie about

big, bad Greer and her big bro.

- I'm sure you'd love that,

but I'm staying right here until I talk to

Alec and squash whatever it is

that's happening between you two.

- Oh, so eager beaver to talk to my beaver pleaser.

You want to stab big Fix in the back again by

giving him a firsthand account of what

really happened in that motel room?

- I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who's

backstabbing the Fixlers.

- How double dare you?

- It's a lot bigger inside, isn't it?

Good afternoon, sailors on this spiritual journey.

Now to begin with, let's all visualize what

brought us here.

- Oh, hell, no.

- What happened to the dirty wizard?

- Is everyone else seeing Mr. Shaw?

Everyone else sees Shaw, right?

I'm not the only one seeing Shaw?

- Visualize what brought you here.

- Huh? - Think about it.

The shaman told us to visualize what brought us here.

Steven Shaw brought us the package.

- Oh, guys, I don't want Shaw to guide me.

- But Andie, remember?

This could help you reach the clarity you need to

figure out how to time- manage Kent and Josh.

And I know I could use a distraction from

my impending doom and God knows Dakota needs his rocks back.

- Preach!

- Well, I for one am not so sure about-

- You guys are right.

Let's do this.

I can't believe you're my spiritual guide.

- Andie Fixler, it's time you eat a pill of

the chill variety, and unbend into the pretend.

Are you ready for your revelation?

- Kent!

I was so scared.

I'm so happy you're here.

- I'm always here for you, Andie.

- Something's not right.

- Yeah, something isn't right.

- De Josh vu.

What are you doing?

Get off of me!

- You're not just my friend's little sister.

- No!

You pretended it didn't happen.

You went back to Greer.

You watched her treat me like garbage.

You left me all alone!

- It's always been her.

- It's always been her?

What does that mean?

- Gross.

Ooh. Hmm.

Have fun fitting into a double zero, Andie Fatler.

- Ugh, make yourself at home much, squatter?

- Well, I'm thinking Alec will be gone for the long haul.

Whoa, why did you change into other lingerie?

- Oh, I guess we both made ourselves more comfortable.

- Oh, come on.

What are you doing with Andie's clothes?

- Oh, this, yeah.

I figured since Alec and I got the freshest of

fresh starts, I simply wanted to do the samsies for Andie.

Alee-oop.

- Hey!

- Loosen your goosen, Sadack, I'm replacing them

all with tight threads.

Super tight.

- Yes.

Breathe it in, breathe it in.

- What the cluck is this?

What can't I say cluck?

Cluck, cluck.

Motherclucker!

- Only once you discover why this

flightless bird lives inside of you, undercover,

will you be reborn and once again

find your form, your journey.

Spirit animal!

- Surplus Shaw, you better dissolve your ass back in

here in and de-chicken me.

I was supposed to get my manhood back,

so why in the dickens would I be a chickens?

I want answers!

- I'm delicious.

- Mae, this is not your vision.

- This is not happening, this is simply a

projection born of your dehydration.

Deep breaths, Peg, he's just a mirage,

you can make him go away.

Turtle turds.

When my temporal lobe starts functioning properly again,

I'll get to the bottom of this.

- Listen to the spirit guy telling you to

let your fear flag fly.

- I'm not afraid of anything,

except maybe getting wait listed out of

a top 10 college.

- You may not be afraid of much,

but there is something that scares you.

Your journey, face your fears.

- Guys, wake up, something isn't right.

- We don't believe you.

- Andie?

This has to be Alec!

- We don't like you.

- No, no this can't be happening.

Courtney?

- Hey, Peg.

- Thank God.

- You'll never be one of us.

- That's it, isn't it?

That's my biggest fear, that I'm not really a

part of the group or any group.

- Peg, you voiced your deepest fear.

What does that do to your body?

- It makes it feel relieved.

I've never shied away from a challenge.

You know, I think I'm ready to face my fear head-on.

- Tripping and tramping.

I'm usually all about T'n'A, but double T's, yeah!

Oh, Shaw-man, what gives?

The last time I did drugs, it was such a downer!

- Don't question the ride, enjoy the vibe.

You deserve this!

You finally have a boyfriend that's worthy of your light,

and you and the foursome are spiritually closer than ever,

as if you threw away something that was weighing you down.

- Oh, my God, you are so right!

Things are dope, the dopest!

- Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and

enjoy your journey, treasure your pleasure.

- Trampoline!

- Mae, this isn't your vision.

- Okay, no more games, I am done waiting for Alec.

It's time to deal with you directly since

you're the real problem here.

- I'm an open book, babe.

I've got nothing to hide.

- I think that apparent by your recent garment changes.

Are you hooking up with Alec just to get revenge on Josh?

- Nope, Alec and I are soul cycle mates.

He's very deep, and that's just the way I like it.

- Are you hooking up with Alec just to get revenge on Andie?

- Neggativo, it wasn't Andie's fault that

Josh bolted on Homecoming.

The blame lies with the peen, not the queen.

- Are you setting my girlfriend up?

- I don't have any single friends.

- What's your plan? - I don't have one.

- Is Alec in on this? - Alec's only in on me.

- I know something's up, Greer.

Josh may have been clueless as to who you really are,

but I'm not.

We had plenty of girls like you at Stevenston.

I came here to make sure that you

stop messing with my girlfriend.

Now I know the real reason you're with Alec,

and I'm going to make sure that he knows, too.

This ends right now.

- Ooh, busto.

Alec must have left it at home.

- Clearly I'm not getting anywhere with you.

- Then why are you still here?

Oh, finally.

- Josh?

Where are you?

You can't just show up here and mess with my head.

I know how this ends.

You always choose Alec over me.

What's?

- Normally, I don't believe in violence,

but this isn't my vision.

- Oh!

- Mr. Shaw, please!

Why are you making me relive this?

- You can stop this brain vacation

as soon as you have your revelation.

The question is, why are you reliving this?

- Ow! Ow!

Andie, how about take a guess?

- I don't know, I don't know why I'd want to see...

I mean, sure, maybe I pictured this

after you picked Greer over me, but-

- Andie!

- Sorry, sorry, I'll think of it.

- Anything?

Oh, that's gonna be permanent.

- Punch.

- Mae, this isn't your vision, so...

- Stop!

You threw your friendship away the minute you came to

the motel looking for me.

You didn't try to deny why you were there.

You could've lied and said you were there to

do Alec's bidding, but you didn't.

You did choose me over Alec.

- Wakey, wakey.

Get up!

- No Shaw. Right, y'all?

- No, Shaw.

- Alas, just as the horny toad must return to

his lily pad before morning, so must your journey end,

my spiritual time travelers.

I hope you all learned something.

Also, that dude snuck in and just stayed here.

You gotta get rid of him.

I'm not paid enough to deal with adults.

Peace.

- Hi, Mr. Shaw.

He must've followed us up here.

You guys, my journey was treasure your pleasure.

It really made me appreciate where I am in this

particular moment and it also made me realize that

just 'cause things are good doesn't

mean something bad is looming.

I was high on life and on a trampoline.

- I found out my spirit animal is a goddamn chicken!

I want my motherclucking money back.

It's not funny!

- Kota, your spirit animal isn't a chicken,

you're obviously a cock.

- Oh, my God, I'm a cock.

It all makes sense.

Cocks are known to be territorial.

I mean, hello, I'm always like "Get up out my space".

They're polygamists, and no one can't tie me down.

My mojo was hidden underneath, in my spirit animal.

After pretending to be someone else for Marge,

I lost my inner cock.

Well, cockadoodle ding.

I found it!

Oh.

- Mae, is that you?

- Mister Shaw-man told me to

stop following everyone else's vision and follow my own.

My journey was discover your truest self.

- That's cool, that's cool.

You still weird though, right?

We good.

- I had to face my fears.

You guys were all in my vision but you wouldn't look at me,

and your eyes, your eyes, they were horrible!

And worst of all, you ignored me like you did this

morning when I tried to warn you about

my suspicions of Alec.

- What suspicions?

- Well, I felt it improbable that he sent

such a thoughtful gift, but no one wanted to hear it,

everyone just ignored me like Divit always used to and

I realized maybe I don't belong with you or

maybe I don't belong anywhere.

- Hush, drama queen.

We ignore everyone.

We're pretty self-involved.

- Yeah, we ignore a lot of warning signs,

'cause we're more for fun and not really the logic.

- Yeah, you're one of us now,

and I promise in the future to make sure to listen.

- Oh, well that's very nice.

I'm not usually used to group positivity.

It's new to me.

Moving on, nothing to see.

- Get over here you little weirdo.

- Well, what was your vision?

- Did you get the clarity you were seeking?

- Ugh, You should've seen it, Geerston.

Captain Kangaroo was trying harder than

you were freshmen year.

But in the end, he gave up and bolted.

You want to hear something hilar?

While Andie's hanging on Butt Island,

I restocked her closet with zeros.

Yeah, she'll be fat-shaming herself before

you can say Spanx.

I can't wait for that c-rag to return.

She's gonna be in for a rude awakening,

just like I was when Josh left me

for that sophomore slut.

Yeah, dehumbug, Geerston!

I'm gonna leave Alec as soon as it's convenient for me,

just like this phone call.

Love you, bye.

You're welcome, little sister.

- My revelation was revelation.

That was completely insane.

It just confused me more.

I mean, I got clarity,

but it was all about...

Kent?

- Hey!

- I missed you so much.

I couldn't wait two more days to see you,

so I got on a plane and 20 minutes later,

I'm climbing up Bone Mountain trying to find you.

Thank God for the time differences, right?

- Yeah.

- I'm just happy to be here with you.

- Thanks for getting us the Brayer Lair back

with this perfect segment.

- Aw Mr. Shaw, I never knew you were so talented.

- Shaw-man, Shaw-man, Shaw-man, Shaw-man.

- Shaw-man, Shaw-man, Shaw-man.

- Shaw-man, Shaw-man, Shaw-man, Sha--

- Uh, all your friends left like an hour ago, so...

- I want to go back.

Take me back.

- Oh! - Get out!

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