Original subtitles

Previously on Foursome.

I was finally over Josh.

You're good.

And for the first time

in my high school career,

Andie Fixler was being pursued publicly.

Okay, so I got a little overly confident.

Once you go Andie, you want more candy.

But I wasn't

the only one feeling myself.

Dakota got love-zapped by Mr. Zapp,

our chemistry sub.

I know, he's a teacher, but I've got bigger problems.

My secret admirer turned out to be my brother.

If that didn't scar me enough,

it led to Courtney and Alec breaking up.

BRB, I'm gonna go shower forever.

- Oh my God, a pic of... - No!

Alec Fixler?!

Are you watching me sleep again?

She's your dream catcher,

and I eat your nightmares.

Okay, on that note...

I'm getting ready for school.

Andie!

Court, I know you and Alec

have only been broken up for a week,

but I need to get back to my real life.

I can't stay here every night for the rest of forever.

Grandie Canyon, come on!

Play hooky today.

We can Mr. Robot with the sound off.

Slater.

Can't, midterm in Spanish.

You need a day of relaxation.

You've been having nightmares almost every night.

You're right.

I need all the nightmare eaters I can get.

Light bulb!

Andie, I think I can help.

Really?

I'm desperate.

The mental images are starting to blind me.

To get Alec Fixler out of your spank bank...

Courtney, no.

You need to diddle your own fiddle.

Face your fears.

Force him out by forcing your own sexual confidence in.

I force myself into a lot of places.

I don't know if that's gonna work, Court.

I've tried masturbating before

and it's just never really clicked.

I think for me,

it's just gonna have to happen with a partner.

Good luck!

If you can't figure your O out on your own,

then your chances of getting there with someone else

are like, zilch.

Unless you have a really huge button.

Ew, Courtney.

Don't body shame!

And don't worry, I'll help you figure this out.

You're the one going through a break-up right now,

I should be helping you.

You are, and you're keeping me company

so that I don't have to feel alone

and realize that I am...

Alone.

I'll never gone.

You're sweet.

I do need this.

Let's give me my first O.

Maybe I just really haven't applied myself before.

Positive energy into the universe,

negative brother imagery out of my head.

Ew, Court, just wait for me to leave.

That O talk got me all revved up.

Mine sounds like a bumblebee.

Ew.

Thanks for picking me up again, bro.

Yeah, my stupid mom won't let me drive

because I keep hitting mailboxes.

It's all good, man.

How are you holding up post-Court?

If you need anything,

I'm here for you.

Oh, thanks Josh.

Of course, man.

I appreciate that.

Well, that's what I'm saying.

I appreciate you.

I appreciate you back, man.

What we have is...

Special.

No way.

Yeah, no, I've been feeling solid.

Yeah.

Yeah, I haven't seen her,

so I haven't had to deal with any ovary problems.

Cool.

I guess I'm just gearing up

more than I am tearing up, you know?

Yeah, for what?

For all the kitty I'm about to pet, bro.

Josh, you realize it's the first time I'm single

since I was a sophomore?

I'm a senior now, Josh.

There's literally no competition.

Look around at these chumps, bro.

I'm about to rack up with my sack up.

And honeys love the poo,

so take a big whiff.

Alright, well, that's pretty gross,

but party congratulations nonetheless.

Thank you, man.

Alright, bro, I'm back on the prowl.

Meow.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh my God, do you have

the fire marshal's number on speed dial?

There's a clear violation going on in the hallway.

Capacity is way over 120 people in C hall.

It is so packed, I think somebody brushed up against my...

Butt cheek.

Not your butt cheek.

Dakota, I am serious.

It's because the new guy, Kent Sadack,

some transfer student from Stevenston.

Word is he's foreign, but white.

He's a senior, lit at pigskin,

and knows what the fox says.

What?

He's foxy, Imogen.

You know, nibbly in his gibblies?

Have you seen him?

Nah, but I heard he's in my chem class.

So I will def peek-a-boo-boo real soon.

Now I have two reasons to look forward to chemistry.

Not Zapp, Dakota, he is a teacher.

Exactly,

and I've got a lot to learn.

Courtney, I told you I have a midterm.

You need to take your climax quest seriously.

I promise I am,

but I also need to not fail out of the school.

If you did, my mom could teach you.

Cheese and rice, did I just crack the code

on how to get back to being homeschooled?

Psh, you'd smash a deer tick before you failed on purpose.

They have Lyme disease!

Where do you keep getting cheese puffs?

Oh, good, you guys noticed me,

because I was feeling frickin' invisible!

Is this how it's gonna be now?

I'm Alec's ex, so you just X me out of every convo?

I don't know, we'll see how it goes.

No, of course not.

Okay then!

So let's focus on the X, as in S-E, as in O,

as in Andie's lost O.

I mean, that's what I risked running into Alec

to be here for.

Andie, even I've gotten there.

Okay, I am officially skipping Spanish.

Imogen just judged me for something sexual.

Let's get my brother out of my head,

get me ready for enjoyable hook-ups.

Y encontrar mi orgasmo.

Help me find my orgasm.

Masturbation, the art of touching oneself

to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area.

Sorry Dakota, crotch.

Either word would've worked.

Read a book.

I will never read a book.

Everyone does it, even our moms.

I'm doing it right now.

The Brayer Lair's exactly how I imagined it would be.

I need everyone to close your eyes.

Picture red satin, fingers tickling slowly up your arm.

A surprise kiss in the rain.

Picture red satin, fingers tTell me, what do you see? m.

Mr. Zapp.

My God, I forget his first name.

President George Washington.

Ah!

No, I can't.

Mae, the door!

The only way out is through.

And if you can't do it mentally,

I did bring some back-ups.

Eugh, your taste is whack.

We're gonna leave you here,

and we're gonna go stand in the hallway as your look-outs.

And then, just let your brain focus on these...

sexy images.

You want me to do that here?

Do you wanna stop picturing your brother?

So bad.

Do you wanna enjoy future hook-ups?

Obviously.

Then you better wash your hands and get to work.

You've got this.

I should want you to leave but I don't.

You're like my white noise,

but, you know, crazy.

Nope, going home for this.

Checkmate.

Yeah, and that's when I hogged through my first tank top.

Basically I could carry any of you guys like a suitcase.

So ladies, who's trying to go to the airport?

Oh my God, there he is.

We have eyes, Tipper.

Kent was the all-star quarterback over at Stevenston.

Let's go stretch in his eye line.

I'm the captain, Tipper.

Let's go stretch in his eye line.

But we already have a quarterback.

But we already have a frickin' quarterback!

Still got it.

Nope.

So, imagery's not your jam.

That's okay.

Tools can be your jelly.

Mae?

Where do these go?

These better be new, Court.

Why do they have to be new?

Obvious sanitary reasons.

You low-budget bimbo.

You used these with her brother,

part of her problem, remember?

Used them on Alec?

How would that even...

Courtney!

I totally get it.

It's not like, new,

oh, new things are better than old.

You know, like friendships or whatever.

Because we're a foursome.

Or like, new like a new girlfriend for Alec?

Oh my God, why aren't we focusing on Andie's O?

If this is too much for you,

we can just put a pin in it.

It's totally fine.

Perfect timing, yeah.

I'm gonna go eat lunch with Greer.

Oh, I'm not allowed to eat anything, but...

It's fun.

Since when do you hang out with Greer?

Oh, she was my tutor so I'm just saying thank you.

I hate this information.

Yeah, I gotta go, too.

Mr. Zapp leaned 98 degrees

when he offered extra credit only to me,

so I'm pretty sure that means

come back and get on your back.

Give it up, he's a teacher.

Sit down!

I, I mean, Andie needs this.

So let's just all focus up.

Things are cool.

Oh my God, Mae.

That is it!

There's a dryer in Janitor Wilkins's closet.

You can use that for vibration

if you're gonna be anal about my beads.

I 100% am.

Put it on heavy load, medium heat, mixed fabrics,

and don't forget to clean your lint box.

Got it.

I think.

We'll find out.

In school.

This would be good to stir cake batter.

Your blue hair's a pretty dope thing.

Uh-huh.

Is your hair blue everywhere?

Uh-huh.

Wait, what?

Wait, no.

So, you got plans tonight or what?

We could go find a vacant boat or something.

Oh, I can't, I'm busy.

I'm following the new kid home

to see if he changes with the blinds open.

But we already have a guy

who changes with his blinds open.

I change with my blinds open!

There's no way the new kid's abs are cut like mine!

Are they?

Andieland, this is not on you.

The janitor's closet reeks.

Not everyone can butt around a bleach bungalow.

Yeah, uh...

It works.

For clothes.

That's why my mom spends so much time doing laundry.

Guys, nothing's working.

I give up.

Don't give up, Pandie Bear!

What's with your family and just giving up?

You know, you can't walk away from me!

I matter, I'm invested!

In you finding your cream brulee.

And there's one more important key factor,

mood.

I think I was right the first time.

This is just a partner sport for me.

Andie!

It's not your fault.

It was stupid of me to think that I could even do this.

First Josh, now this.

It's like my brain hates my vagina.

Deep and dark, Ans.

Deep and dark.

I'm gonna go to chem.

If Dakota is wrong and Zapp is giving extra credit

to more than just him, I want it.

If I'm gonna die a virgin, I might as well be a smart one.

Where are you guys going?

Sorry Courtney, Greer hits me if I'm late.

I kinda like it.

Accountability, you know?

Outie five-thousie!

That's what Greer does when she's leaving, so.

That's not a thing.

Dakota, that's definitely not a thing, right?

I will not let Andie stop my game with Zapp.

I need to get to him before she does, so.

Fine, forget it.

Who needs friends when you can just be alone forever?

Dakota.

Uh, you're early, that's new.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

I knew it, pleasure.

Uh, hmm?

I am here for that extra credit.

You know, since I'm the only one you offered it to.

Oh yeah.

Dakota, I'm so glad to hear you say that.

Because you're the only one

who scored less than 30 on the quiz, so here you go.

Way to trip me, asshat.

Slip and slid right into Jess McKenna,

who cornered me about Environmental Club again.

Thanks a lot.

Did you finish yet?

No, I wasn't able to.

Really?

Because it looks like you did.

- You're... - The new guy?

Yeah, that's what they keep telling me.

I'm Kent Sadack.

Andie.

Andie, it's nice to meet you.

You mind if I slide in that?

Not at all.

So deep.

Yeah, I really gotta jam it in there.

Oh, sorry.

I got it all over your face.

Holy moley.

Did you finish?

Let me help you put it in.

I picked this from my personal garden,

at my mansion where I live.

Holy moley.

Hey, it's me, Australian Toothpaste.

Hey Kent, what's up?

Look at me, Andie, on a toothbrush!

Woo!

Yeah!

What's up?

What's up?

How are you?

What's up?

Sup?

What's up?

What's up, what's up?

But we already have a ladies man.

I'm the ladies man!

I'll bang anyone!

Right here, right now!

I will out ladies man that guy

in his frickin' REM cycle!

What's up?

What'd you say to me, bro?

Huh?

Hey, guy, hey!

I'm talking to you, guy!

What'd you say?

How about you get acquainted

with quarterback and ladies man?

Oy, oy, oy.

You alright, man?

Because I'm all good and there's no need for fists.

Why do you sound awesome?

Oh, I grew up down under

and I moved here when I was 11,

so I've got a bit of an accent.

You sound like Bruce from Nemo!

Boomerang!

Yep.

Toilet's going backwards.

Ah, yes.

- Dingoes. - Alright.

- Steve Irwin. - No.

Shrimp on the barbie.

Alright, good on you, mate.

I'll see you around.

Wait up, dude.

You're a quarterback?

Yeah.

And you change with the blinds open?

What?

And I hear you're a ladies man.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Alec.

Alec Fixler.

Kent Sadack, nice to meet you.

So um, what did you do last night?

Because I definitely didn't, you know, visit myself.

You guys, it happened.

Mr. Zapp admitted his feelings for me?

I'm gonna be homeschooled again?

No and no.

I had my first orgasm.

Like, legit orgasm.org, backslash whoa.

Kent Sadack gives great mental imagery.

Ooh, okay girl.

Maybe I should bench Mr. Zapp

and put Kent Sadack in the game next time.

Yeah, maybe I should bench George Washington

and give Hoover more playing time.

I have a thing for presidents.

I cannot wait to tell Courtney.

Is she on her way?

Did her skirt get caught in the convertible again?

I'll go get help.

Wait, you didn't stay at Courtney's last night?

No, I just told you I O'ed.

Has Courtney been along since last night?

Honestly, I thought Mae was Courtney this whole time.

I slept in the props box.

This is my home now.

You weren't even at the dorms?

You guys, this is bad.

Why?

I mean, you climaxed and that's what Courtney wanted.

So won't she be happy?

Now that her and my brother are done,

she probably thinks we don't need her anymore.

We do.

I mean, she explains things to me,

things I hate but now I know.

She makes me feel less slutty.

She's my Halloween, every day.

Why are you telling me?

You're right.

Let's go get our girl.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.

I'm just looking for the admin's office.

I've gotta check out.

Hey, pencil sharpener girl!

Andie, what's up?

Kent Sadack.

Yeah, that's me.

Could you show me where the admin's office is?

Yes.

Courtney.

Damn it, fine.

Let's go get our girl.

Mae, show him where to go.

Okay.

Thanks.

I'll see you later.

Yes, you will.

To Courtney's!

It's time to grow up, Courtney.

You need to make new friends, new memories,

a whole new frickin' life!

Go away.

Courtney...

Sportney, come on.

Aw, Andie Man.

You made up a nickname for me.

What are you guys doing here?

I thought you couldn't afford to miss anymore class.

I'd fail Spanish a thousand times for you.

We all would.

I'm so sorry I got so caught up in my own O

that I left you behind.

I have to get used to it.

I'm not dating your brother anymore,

so of course things will change.

Not with us.

If anything, breaking up with Alec

made us like you even more.

Yeah.

Plus, he was really mean to you.

And you're like, the big sister I never wanted

but I'm really, really glad I have.

You're more family to me than Alec will ever be.

I love you, blood sis.

And we're a foursome, always.

I'm the zero.

Yeah, that's right, Mae.

And one more thing.

I had my big O.

Oh my God, branding me with an iron!

Amaze!

Ow.

Ew.

While you were crying?

Gotta love me a good crymax.

Wait, Yankee Doodle Andie.

What finally got your goat?

Ew, that's gross, Andie!

No dentist recommends that.

Minty.

I don't know what you mean.

I said, how do you say

best friends in Australian?

Best friends.

Best friends!

Best friends, mate.

Best friends, mate!

Ha ha!

Sick.

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