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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,807 --> 00:00:10,474 Previously on "Foursome," 2 00:00:10,476 --> 00:00:13,410 Plot twist! Josh saw me in my skivvies. 3 00:00:13,412 --> 00:00:15,446 Not in the way I'd always imagined 4 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:17,580 my crush and I would be practically naked together, 5 00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:19,716 but a vast improvement from "kiddo." 6 00:00:19,718 --> 00:00:21,618 Even Dakota picked up vibes. 7 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,386 I'd be totally cloud nine 8 00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:25,255 if I didn't hear that Greer is into him. 9 00:00:25,257 --> 00:00:26,857 She's basically a walking thong 10 00:00:26,859 --> 00:00:29,126 with a ton of sexual experience. 11 00:00:29,128 --> 00:00:31,597 If that's what Josh likes, I'm hopeless. 12 00:00:53,384 --> 00:00:54,384 Courtney? 13 00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:56,887 What are you doing? 14 00:00:56,889 --> 00:00:59,823 Your brother, dummy. 15 00:00:59,825 --> 00:01:01,791 Don't you have a single at SUC where you can 16 00:01:01,793 --> 00:01:03,494 destroy my brother out of earshot? 17 00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:05,595 Correction, I used to have a single. 18 00:01:05,597 --> 00:01:07,630 So what happened? Did you get kicked out 19 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:09,332 for ruining another mattress or something? 20 00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:12,335 No, Alec and I never use a mattress when we have sex. 21 00:01:12,337 --> 00:01:13,636 Weird. 22 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,806 Housing found out that me not being immunized 23 00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:17,841 was not legit. 24 00:01:17,843 --> 00:01:19,809 So they assigned me a roommate. 25 00:01:19,811 --> 00:01:21,912 - May. - So? 26 00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:24,781 She's weird. Like super, big-time weird. 27 00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:27,651 She drinks my perfume just to feel me inside of her. 28 00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:29,318 Courtney, just be honest with me. 29 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,220 Are you gonna be here every single morning 30 00:01:31,222 --> 00:01:33,422 'cause I need... 31 00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:37,928 I will give you a ride to school in my convertible... 32 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:41,297 And I'll buy you a smoothie. 33 00:01:41,299 --> 00:01:43,267 - What do you say? - All right. 34 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,835 Yeah. 35 00:01:44,837 --> 00:01:46,369 Courtney. 36 00:01:46,371 --> 00:01:47,504 Courtney, I'm not with this. 37 00:01:55,847 --> 00:01:58,181 Hey, babe, I'm drinking pineapple. 38 00:01:58,183 --> 00:02:00,651 - You know what that means. - You so romantic. 39 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,186 Oh, hey, I can... I can help you with that. 40 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,619 - Oh, I got it. - Oops, I-I'm sorry. 41 00:02:03,621 --> 00:02:04,954 - I didn't mean... - Oh, no, it's... 42 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:06,556 Hey, chubs, it's a good thing Josh's bone 43 00:02:06,558 --> 00:02:08,424 crawls inside himself when he's around you. 44 00:02:08,426 --> 00:02:09,660 Otherwise I'd have to kick his ass. 45 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,360 - Am I right, Bro-zone layer? - Ha. 46 00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:12,696 Don't talk about my bone, dog. 47 00:02:12,698 --> 00:02:14,530 Oh, come on, pooner. 48 00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:16,532 I want a bagel. 49 00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:27,411 No, you're cutting too fast. Go back. 50 00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:31,381 - No, Dakota, that's too much. - Hey, guys. 51 00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:32,649 What's with all the yellow? 52 00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,885 Imogen, you look like the sun queefed. 53 00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:37,353 Guys, it's Miscarriage Awareness Day. 54 00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:38,955 I ran in to this senior and he told me I was being 55 00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:40,857 insensitive because I wasn't showing my support 56 00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:43,359 and, so, I went home and I-I changed 57 00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:45,328 and it's... 58 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,496 It's not really Miscarriage Awareness Day, is it? 59 00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:49,401 No, honey, I'm pretty sure that doesn't exist. 60 00:02:50,902 --> 00:02:52,704 Well, it should be. 61 00:02:54,439 --> 00:02:56,876 You look like Rapunzel's bush. 62 00:02:58,377 --> 00:02:59,609 Do you want to borrow some clothes? 63 00:02:59,611 --> 00:03:00,776 both: No! 64 00:03:00,778 --> 00:03:03,312 No, Courtney, that's okay. 65 00:03:03,314 --> 00:03:05,249 Um, if the bullies see me break, 66 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,483 that'll just open up the floodgates 67 00:03:07,485 --> 00:03:09,752 and I'm afraid of drowning. 68 00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,887 - Naturally. - Okay. 69 00:03:11,889 --> 00:03:14,291 Do you want to play Cat's Cradle with me? 70 00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:16,994 - No, but I will. - No. No, too much. Too much. 71 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:18,932 Can I help you? 72 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,034 I think I felt Josh's Mr. Happy. 73 00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:25,768 Okay, I'm listening. 74 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,336 He was helping me put a book away today 75 00:03:27,338 --> 00:03:28,638 and he was leaning up against me 76 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:29,940 and I'm not sure if I felt his phone 77 00:03:29,942 --> 00:03:31,375 or his bone. 78 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,442 Well, what type of phone do you use? 79 00:03:33,444 --> 00:03:36,046 Guys, look. 80 00:03:36,048 --> 00:03:38,415 - Nice. - Cool. 81 00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,750 Okay, there's only one way to know for sure. 82 00:03:40,752 --> 00:03:42,418 - How? - The next time he's leaning 83 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:43,620 up against you to put his book away, 84 00:03:43,622 --> 00:03:45,721 call his phone simultaneously. 85 00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:47,858 Wow, great tip. Thanks. 86 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,326 No problem. 87 00:03:49,328 --> 00:03:52,662 Guys, look. 88 00:03:52,664 --> 00:03:54,998 - Whoa. - Whoa. 89 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,632 Oh, my gosh, Imogen. 90 00:03:56,634 --> 00:04:00,070 You look like yield. 91 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:02,673 Miss Ebison, sorry I'm late. 92 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:05,841 Andie Fixler, I was hoping you were sick today. 93 00:04:05,843 --> 00:04:08,078 And, Ms. Fixler, since you couldn't be bothered 94 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,013 to make it to class on time, you must be already up-to-date 95 00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:14,351 on all your STD knowledge and will have no trouble 96 00:04:14,353 --> 00:04:15,818 naming ten right now. 97 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,788 Um... Okay. 98 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:21,390 Crabs, gonorrhea, the clap, 99 00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:25,695 herpes, AIDS, syphilis, 100 00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:29,098 razor bumps? 101 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:32,034 Menstrual cramps... No, that's not one, right? 102 00:04:32,036 --> 00:04:35,339 - Did I say herpes? - You did. 103 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,341 You seem pretty familiar. 104 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,743 Thank you for bringing such a passion 105 00:04:39,745 --> 00:04:42,079 for genital herpes to my class. 106 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,680 Please. 107 00:04:44,682 --> 00:04:46,882 Today we begin the safe sex measures 108 00:04:46,884 --> 00:04:48,351 to prevent pregnancy. 109 00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:49,920 It's Condom Day. 110 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,622 Each one of you have a banana at your station 111 00:04:52,624 --> 00:04:54,757 and you will practice securing a condom 112 00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:56,892 on to it without it breaking. 113 00:04:56,894 --> 00:04:58,527 Get started! 114 00:04:58,529 --> 00:05:00,663 You know, you sure know how to make an entrance. 115 00:05:00,665 --> 00:05:03,033 You have a thing for public humiliation, or... 116 00:05:03,035 --> 00:05:06,406 Yeah, I must just be a glutton for punishment. 117 00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:13,709 Oh, ouch! 118 00:05:13,711 --> 00:05:15,846 Careful, Josh, your Donkey Kong over here 119 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:18,981 is gonna try to smash your banana. 120 00:05:18,983 --> 00:05:21,418 Ew, that's gross. Let me show you how to do it. 121 00:05:37,569 --> 00:05:39,435 Oh, my... 122 00:05:44,509 --> 00:05:47,010 Andie, practice on this. 123 00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,545 More your speed. 124 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,503 Oh, my God! What are you... 125 00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:15,938 May! 126 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,707 Your torso looked dry. 127 00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:21,178 Is that a terrible wig? 128 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:25,548 - Are those colored contacts? - No. Do you like them? 129 00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:29,618 Are those copies of every quote I ever hung on my wall? 130 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:34,024 Is that just one picture of me repeated in a heart-shape? 131 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:38,027 Did you get that scarf at the Gap Outlet sale 132 00:06:38,029 --> 00:06:41,197 right after I got it? 133 00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:45,003 Is that my boyfriend? 134 00:06:46,237 --> 00:06:48,137 No. 135 00:06:48,139 --> 00:06:51,041 May, obviously our conversation about boundaries 136 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,875 has not sunk in. So, you know what? 137 00:06:52,877 --> 00:06:54,644 I'm just gonna go, but first I'm gonna grab 138 00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:56,980 a change of clothes. 139 00:06:56,982 --> 00:06:58,682 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 140 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,089 - How? - Layers. 141 00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,500 Look at that, Dakota. 142 00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:18,534 I've had it an epiphany. 143 00:07:18,536 --> 00:07:20,170 One day you gonna break that door. 144 00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,137 I am totally unprepared sexually. 145 00:07:22,139 --> 00:07:23,973 I mean, obviously. 146 00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:26,041 Today in Health I could barely put a condom on a banana... 147 00:07:26,043 --> 00:07:28,911 or a carrot... or my finger. 148 00:07:28,913 --> 00:07:31,214 I mean, even if Josh miraculously decided 149 00:07:31,216 --> 00:07:34,550 I wasn't a Prudy Judy I wouldn't be ready for him... 150 00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:37,019 - or anyone. - Go fish. 151 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,654 How am I supposed to get out of the sister-zone 152 00:07:38,656 --> 00:07:40,089 when I'm in the never boned dome? 153 00:07:40,091 --> 00:07:41,858 It all makes perfect sense. 154 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:43,627 Uno. 155 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,529 You're not even playing a real game, Dakota. 156 00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:48,565 Oh, yeah, Andie, I'm sorry. 157 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,233 You were ranting... I mean, saying? 158 00:07:50,235 --> 00:07:51,901 I was saying 159 00:07:51,903 --> 00:07:53,670 that if I want to get any action this semester, 160 00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:55,671 then I'm gonna have to... 161 00:07:55,673 --> 00:07:57,039 Does this door lock? 162 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,909 God damn it. 163 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,276 What's wrong with Tramp Stamp? 164 00:08:00,278 --> 00:08:02,913 - Is it May? - No, it's September. 165 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,848 - No, May's her roommate. - More like my stalker. 166 00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:08,551 You guys, this chick is "Single White Femaleing" me. 167 00:08:08,553 --> 00:08:10,053 Okay? This chick is crazy. 168 00:08:10,055 --> 00:08:11,587 This chick is other level strange. 169 00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:14,623 Look at what she did. Look at this. 170 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,992 - Oh. - Eww. 171 00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:18,728 Oh, my God. Why do I like this? 172 00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:20,863 No! I can't take it anymore! 173 00:08:20,865 --> 00:08:22,798 This girl is everywhere. Okay? 174 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,767 She's in my shower. She's in my closet. 175 00:08:24,769 --> 00:08:27,170 She's in my bed. I can't. Nope. 176 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,105 You know what? I won't go back. 177 00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:33,075 I will never go back to SUC. 178 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:35,045 SUC! That's it! 179 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:37,314 I can rectify my sexual inexperience and just text 180 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,715 some of those bachelor guys. They'll help me, right? 181 00:08:39,717 --> 00:08:40,983 No. No. No. Not good. 182 00:08:40,985 --> 00:08:42,118 I just said I will never go back, 183 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,587 not I would immediately go back. 184 00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:44,720 What? You don't think anyone would 185 00:08:44,722 --> 00:08:46,658 want to hook up with me? 186 00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:51,094 - Am I that repulsive? - Andie, stop fishing. 187 00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:52,661 You can't just run off to college 188 00:08:52,663 --> 00:08:54,598 and become the Babe Ruth of boners. 189 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,800 Remember, a change of environment 190 00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,901 does not mean a change in character. 191 00:08:58,903 --> 00:09:01,371 I was forced in to public school and I am still the same... 192 00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:03,906 Paranoid freak jar. We know. 193 00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,309 Home school is useless, but she's got a point. 194 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:07,643 You need to know your directions 195 00:09:07,645 --> 00:09:09,112 before driving straight to Dickville. 196 00:09:09,114 --> 00:09:11,314 Ew. Court, what do you think? 197 00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:13,349 I think I smell like old sex. 198 00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:15,352 Oh, did you mean about your problem? 199 00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:16,886 Mm-hmm. 200 00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:19,055 Sorry, blood sis, I just... I can't go back. 201 00:09:19,057 --> 00:09:20,790 Please, you guys? 202 00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:22,224 I can't go my whole high school experience 203 00:09:22,226 --> 00:09:23,627 feeling like this. 204 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:24,994 I mean, I know it might be messy, but... 205 00:09:24,996 --> 00:09:27,262 practice makes perfect. I just need your help. 206 00:09:27,264 --> 00:09:29,735 Courtney, sidebar. 207 00:09:42,246 --> 00:09:45,348 Andie, we will teach you. 208 00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:48,251 - Teach me what? - How to run the bases. 209 00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:50,185 Thanks, guys, but that's not exactly 210 00:09:50,187 --> 00:09:51,353 what I was talking about. 211 00:09:51,355 --> 00:09:53,156 Andie, do you honestly think 212 00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,891 we're just gonna let you run off blind? 213 00:09:54,893 --> 00:09:57,326 I mean, you can't hold a conversation with a guy, 214 00:09:57,328 --> 00:09:59,829 you wear boys underwear on the rag, 215 00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:03,098 and you have banana smushed all over you. 216 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,800 Ew. 217 00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:06,136 So you're saying? 218 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,137 Andie, we will encourage you, 219 00:10:08,139 --> 00:10:10,339 help you, guide you. 220 00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:12,675 We'll be like your own Mr. Miyagi 221 00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:15,679 except instead of "Wax on, wax off." 222 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,080 We will teach you when lube is necessary. 223 00:10:18,082 --> 00:10:21,316 So, are you ready Andie-son? 224 00:10:23,054 --> 00:10:24,954 Batter up, bitches! 225 00:10:32,964 --> 00:10:36,232 You must bathe in the river before going in to the ocean. 226 00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:39,768 - Is this really necessary? - Shh! 227 00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:43,272 Andie Fixler, we are gonna teach you all the basics. 228 00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:46,209 We are your Sensei's Of Sex. 229 00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:48,111 Teachers of Tang. 230 00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:49,778 And Master Batter. 231 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,980 Imogen, wow, you made a little sexual pun. 232 00:10:51,982 --> 00:10:53,717 I did? 233 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:56,252 Master Batter like baseball... because of bases... huh? 234 00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:59,723 Imogen, do you want to get back in that penalty box? 235 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,090 - No. - Didn't think so. 236 00:11:01,092 --> 00:11:04,094 Okay, Andie, let's start with the basics. 237 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,429 First base may seem like the easiest of all the bases, 238 00:11:06,431 --> 00:11:09,331 but, in fact, it is the most crucial. 239 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,367 Without a solid kiss, you have no foundation 240 00:11:11,369 --> 00:11:12,801 for a successful hookup. 241 00:11:12,803 --> 00:11:14,237 You're stuck in the dug out. 242 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:19,242 Let's talk strategy. 243 00:11:19,244 --> 00:11:20,910 After you've mastered these basic 244 00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:23,146 first base techniques, feel free to throw 245 00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:25,147 a curve ball and spice it up. 246 00:11:25,149 --> 00:11:27,016 You can use exploding candy, 247 00:11:27,018 --> 00:11:29,518 ice cubes, gum trading, 248 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,454 or meat loaf... Wait... 249 00:11:31,456 --> 00:11:34,123 Who put meat lo... Imogen. 250 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:36,225 I thought we were just writing down foods we liked. 251 00:11:36,227 --> 00:11:38,328 Honestly, guys, this is unnecessary. 252 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:41,133 - I know how to kiss. - Imogen? Exhibit A. 253 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,438 How do you have that? 254 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,973 Andie, you do realize you had a full on 255 00:11:50,975 --> 00:11:52,908 make out session in the middle of the hallway? 256 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:55,011 I mean everyone and their mother Snapchatted you. 257 00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:56,979 I was lucky enough to screen shot it. 258 00:11:56,981 --> 00:11:59,081 All righty. 259 00:11:59,083 --> 00:12:01,785 Here. You're throwing way too many 260 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,085 wild pitches around the arena. 261 00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:04,887 Your jaw is all over the place, 262 00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:06,122 your mouth is way too tense, 263 00:12:06,124 --> 00:12:08,123 your hand placement is insane, 264 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:10,259 and, Andie, your eyes are open! 265 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:11,361 I didn't hear him complaining. 266 00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,363 He ran away! 267 00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:14,897 Strike one. 268 00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:16,132 Oh, my God, you're right. 269 00:12:16,134 --> 00:12:18,300 And everyone saw. 270 00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,868 What do I need to know? 271 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,204 Hand practice. 272 00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:23,071 You will use the opening of your fist 273 00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:25,874 to execute different styles of snogging. 274 00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,009 Begin. 275 00:12:30,414 --> 00:12:32,916 Oh, very nice, Dakota. 276 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:37,954 What are you, a lizard? 277 00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:40,022 Softer. Like a little baby. 278 00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:41,424 Like... 279 00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:43,126 Okay, but make sure that you don't swallow 280 00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:44,893 too much of his saliva because I read 281 00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:46,195 that it contains testosterone 282 00:12:46,197 --> 00:12:48,097 making you scientifically attached. 283 00:12:48,099 --> 00:12:49,299 I know. I know. I know. 284 00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,900 I'm going to the penalty box, Dakota. 285 00:12:50,902 --> 00:12:52,368 Okay, go. 286 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,002 Moving on. 287 00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:57,006 SECOND BASE TBD 288 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:00,609 Second base. Boob stuff. 289 00:13:00,611 --> 00:13:02,244 - Ew. - Wait a minute. 290 00:13:02,246 --> 00:13:04,214 I thought second base was just getting felt up. 291 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,081 You don't have to be good at anything for that, right? 292 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:08,017 You just have to have boobs, right? 293 00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:09,419 Strike two! 294 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:12,088 You can't just lay there like a starfish, Andie. 295 00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,956 You have to get involved. 296 00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:17,061 Andie, at least there's no boob diseases. 297 00:13:18,629 --> 00:13:21,430 - Aw. - Shh. It's not helping. 298 00:13:21,432 --> 00:13:23,299 Shh. 299 00:13:23,301 --> 00:13:26,069 That silver lining aside, 300 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,070 I'm starting to feel a little out of my element. 301 00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:31,007 There's is no anxiety in baseball. 302 00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:35,143 Techniques include motorboating. 303 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:38,046 All right, everybody, lips loose, no teeth, 304 00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:40,416 and away we go! 305 00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,133 Oh! 306 00:13:55,432 --> 00:13:57,532 Is all this consensual? 307 00:13:57,534 --> 00:14:00,270 It's for... a segment? 308 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:02,238 Oh. 309 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,140 All right. 310 00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:06,209 Uh, just don't film any of this. 311 00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:07,910 THIRD BASE BELOW BELT! 312 00:14:07,911 --> 00:14:10,280 Okay, now for the third and final base. 313 00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:12,581 - Anything below the belt. - Mm-hmm. 314 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:13,949 The most important thing to know 315 00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:15,450 about third base is foreplay. 316 00:14:15,452 --> 00:14:17,453 Like no one wants to vacation in the Sahara Desert. 317 00:14:17,455 --> 00:14:18,621 Ew. 318 00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:20,555 Helpful hints to keep your tuna at sea 319 00:14:20,557 --> 00:14:23,292 include playing with your breath... 320 00:14:23,294 --> 00:14:25,627 - And your breasts. - What if I pass out? 321 00:14:25,629 --> 00:14:27,397 Also, you can try humping a pillow until 322 00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,632 - dry humping becomes wet humping. - Why would it get wet? 323 00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:31,566 - Flip your nips... - Why would I do that? 324 00:14:31,568 --> 00:14:32,568 While he does it to your front, 325 00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:33,569 you can do it to your back. 326 00:14:33,571 --> 00:14:35,037 - What? - Strike three! 327 00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:37,706 I haven't even stepped up to the base 328 00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,675 - and I've already struck out? - Andie... 329 00:14:39,677 --> 00:14:42,011 I would not take a risk on a losing team. 330 00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:44,012 You can do this. 331 00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:46,315 Courtney, stop! 332 00:14:46,317 --> 00:14:48,450 - I can't. - Okay. 333 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:51,153 The techniques for third base are endless, 334 00:14:51,155 --> 00:14:53,089 but we'll try to master a few. 335 00:14:53,091 --> 00:14:55,959 All right, Courtney, here you go, girl. 336 00:15:02,399 --> 00:15:05,401 That's my girl. Andie, you're up. 337 00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:14,410 Oh, no. 338 00:15:14,412 --> 00:15:17,079 You know what, guys? I can't do this! 339 00:15:17,081 --> 00:15:18,580 This is just making me more nervous. 340 00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:20,717 I mean, Sammy Samosa... or whatever his name is, 341 00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:22,050 had to step to plate for the first time 342 00:15:22,052 --> 00:15:23,585 at one point in his life, right? 343 00:15:23,587 --> 00:15:26,055 He didn't just always knock it out of the park. 344 00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,623 I just need to get through my first game. 345 00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:29,025 Courtney, let's go right now. 346 00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:30,660 Like, right now before I change my mind. 347 00:15:30,662 --> 00:15:33,195 Okay, but I just don't want to see May! 348 00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,469 What's your problem? 349 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,337 - We missed a chapter. - What are you talking about? 350 00:15:41,339 --> 00:15:44,243 Well, we never talked about... end game. 351 00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:47,642 I mean, how would you know if you've like, 352 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:50,379 you know... 353 00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:52,114 Climaxed. 354 00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:53,449 Wait a minute. 355 00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:56,219 You know what feels good when you bam your clam, 356 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,157 right, Master Batter? 357 00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:05,494 Okay, lesson number one. 358 00:16:05,496 --> 00:16:07,264 MASTURBATION 359 00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:13,036 Courtney, you have 20 minutes 360 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,469 to stop freaking out about your roommate 361 00:16:14,471 --> 00:16:16,339 and then we're leaving! 362 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:18,507 I know you can hear me! 363 00:16:24,448 --> 00:16:26,348 Wow. What's, uh... 364 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:27,717 - What's the occasion? - Hey! 365 00:16:27,719 --> 00:16:29,551 Bathroom. Bathroom stuff. 366 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:30,685 - Hm. - What's up? 367 00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:32,220 Oh, do you need to use the bathroom 368 00:16:32,222 --> 00:16:33,555 'cause I can totally get out. 369 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,090 No. No, not at all. 370 00:16:35,092 --> 00:16:36,592 You look... different. 371 00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:38,694 Oh, you know, it's for that play. 372 00:16:38,696 --> 00:16:40,063 Uh... 373 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,799 "Street Cart Dame's"... 374 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,599 "Hamlet's Garden"? 375 00:16:44,601 --> 00:16:46,602 - Yeah. Yeah, I love that one. - Yeah. 376 00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:47,837 "Hamlet's Garden." 377 00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:50,205 It's great. 378 00:16:50,207 --> 00:16:52,076 Well, you look... very mature. 379 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,310 Josh, is that you? 380 00:16:55,312 --> 00:16:57,446 I'm just finishing... Ohh! 381 00:16:57,448 --> 00:16:59,114 Ohh, yeah! Mm. 382 00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,184 Yeah! Yeah, I'll be right there! 383 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,085 Hey, you better have pants on this time! 384 00:17:03,087 --> 00:17:05,153 - Come in here, man! - Uh, I got to go to rehearsal. 385 00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:07,090 - Bye. - Okay. 386 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,767 Wha... I thought I texted you "not to come" 387 00:17:18,769 --> 00:17:20,836 Right, yeah. I totally saw that. 388 00:17:20,838 --> 00:17:22,337 It's just I was... 389 00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:25,173 wondering if you could help me with... 390 00:17:25,175 --> 00:17:26,609 this. 391 00:17:26,611 --> 00:17:28,276 Okay, last time we hung out, 392 00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:30,645 I got sat on... by a football team. 393 00:17:30,647 --> 00:17:34,316 I know, I know, and that's why I'm here. 394 00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:37,155 To make it up to you. 395 00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:48,131 What are you doing? 396 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:53,536 Uh, giving you a speeding ticket... A speed boat. 397 00:17:53,538 --> 00:17:57,340 No. No, that's... that's something I would do to you. 398 00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,875 Only I would never that because I'm not a cartoon. 399 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:01,443 Oh, yeah, right. Duh. 400 00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:03,278 Yeah, okay. I knew that. Just one second. 401 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,779 Um... 402 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:08,484 God... frick. Ugh. 403 00:18:08,486 --> 00:18:10,686 - Third base. - No, no more bases. 404 00:18:12,323 --> 00:18:14,524 Where did that come from? Don't... 405 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:17,360 Please... whatever... Okay. 406 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:18,827 - Canadian Fireball? - No. 407 00:18:18,829 --> 00:18:20,830 - Uh-huh. - Oh. Okay, just... 408 00:18:20,832 --> 00:18:22,331 Okay, can you... Ow! 409 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,498 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry! 410 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,334 - Are you okay? - Go. Please go. 411 00:18:25,336 --> 00:18:27,236 - Oh, okay. - Okay, I have finals... 412 00:18:27,238 --> 00:18:28,703 or whatever, can you just... 413 00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,940 Could you get out, please? That is just... 414 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,842 so not worth it. 415 00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:38,881 I was a total spaz. 416 00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:42,184 You should've seen it. 417 00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:44,253 Like, I'm pretty sure I broke his nose. 418 00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,658 You thought she was me, didn't you? 419 00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,526 Yup. 420 00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:52,728 Just another one of my many fails. 421 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,363 Did you not get through the bases? 422 00:18:54,365 --> 00:18:55,664 It was a complete disaster. 423 00:18:55,666 --> 00:18:57,432 Like I was fouling, strike-outs, 424 00:18:57,434 --> 00:19:00,236 and I didn't steal a single base, 425 00:19:00,238 --> 00:19:01,469 and my dug out is still empty, 426 00:19:01,471 --> 00:19:02,572 and I'm running out of baseball terms. 427 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:05,540 - I hate sports. - BanAndie, 428 00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:06,609 that's like everyone's first hookup. 429 00:19:06,611 --> 00:19:07,642 Even mine. 430 00:19:07,644 --> 00:19:08,811 - Really? - Yeah. 431 00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,478 You're totally in the game now. 432 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,381 Everyone has these amazing first time stories, 433 00:19:12,383 --> 00:19:13,815 and now so do you. 434 00:19:13,817 --> 00:19:15,317 I'm just really proud of you for going for it. 435 00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:16,786 That's crazy impressive. 436 00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:19,622 I mean, I did feel pretty confident about first base. 437 00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:21,623 He made like throat noises. Like a bird. 438 00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:24,860 That is so good 439 00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:25,961 and I promise it'll get easier every time. 440 00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:28,296 You know, it's like jeans. 441 00:19:28,298 --> 00:19:29,699 You have to wear them four times 442 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,433 before they don't give you a muffin top. 443 00:19:31,435 --> 00:19:33,568 - I would eat your muffin top. - I know, honey. 444 00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:35,470 Andie, Alec's gonna be here in like 20 minutes, 445 00:19:35,472 --> 00:19:37,340 so you got to get out of here or else he's gonna give us 446 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,642 a pounding and not the kind that I like. 447 00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:41,643 I can give you a ride. 448 00:19:41,645 --> 00:19:43,379 She's harmless. 449 00:19:43,381 --> 00:19:44,846 I thought you've been avoiding her all day. 450 00:19:44,848 --> 00:19:46,548 You said she was gonna skin suit you. 451 00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:48,718 I know, but I kind of missed her. 452 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,853 When I was pooping at your house and there was no one hiding 453 00:19:50,855 --> 00:19:53,655 in the corner with TP, it made me feel... 454 00:19:53,657 --> 00:19:55,357 sad. 455 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:56,992 You never know what you have until it's gone. 456 00:19:56,994 --> 00:19:59,694 - Right? - I'll never gone. 457 00:19:59,696 --> 00:20:01,330 Okay, cool, but, like, could you go now 458 00:20:01,332 --> 00:20:02,898 and help Andie back to her room? 459 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,433 - Piggy back ride? - No, thanks. 460 00:20:05,435 --> 00:20:08,536 - Oh, she gives mad back. - Whatever. 461 00:20:08,538 --> 00:20:10,474 I guess I'll take whatever I can get tonight. 462 00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:14,378 - Go. - Yay! 463 00:20:30,327 --> 00:20:31,893 Josh, jeez! 464 00:20:31,895 --> 00:20:33,796 I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to scare you. 465 00:20:33,798 --> 00:20:35,498 - You okay? - What are you doing here? 466 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,769 I-I-I forgot... my remote! 467 00:20:39,436 --> 00:20:41,703 - Had to come pick it up. - Oh. 468 00:20:41,705 --> 00:20:43,738 At midnight? 469 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:46,676 Yeah, can't live without my late-night video games. 470 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,344 Is it really midnight? 471 00:20:48,346 --> 00:20:49,778 What are you doing coming home so late? 472 00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:51,747 You're not gonna tell on me, right? 473 00:20:51,749 --> 00:20:53,748 Please. Please don't tell Alec. 474 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,884 No, I would never tell Alec. 475 00:20:55,886 --> 00:20:57,018 - Thank you. - Just looking out for you. 476 00:20:57,020 --> 00:20:58,421 Thanks. 477 00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,955 Look, it seems like something's... 478 00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:01,824 going on with you. 479 00:21:01,826 --> 00:21:04,093 I'm not your brother, if you ever want to talk I'm... 480 00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:05,694 I mean, I'm always here. 481 00:21:05,696 --> 00:21:07,962 Honestly, Josh, 482 00:21:07,964 --> 00:21:09,965 nothing's going on. I just... 483 00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:11,933 I don't know I got caught up in one of Courtney's plans 484 00:21:11,935 --> 00:21:14,905 and... I... genuinely, there's nothing going on. 485 00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:18,039 Okay. 486 00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:19,741 You seem different. 487 00:21:19,743 --> 00:21:21,776 It kind of seems like you're trying out... 488 00:21:21,778 --> 00:21:24,646 this whole new person. 489 00:21:24,648 --> 00:21:27,783 I just can't imagine why you would ever want to do that. 490 00:21:27,785 --> 00:21:30,288 I really... I really like the person you used to be. 491 00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,492 Thanks, Josh. 492 00:21:35,026 --> 00:21:36,792 - Oh, well, you know, I... - I should get going. 493 00:21:36,794 --> 00:21:38,094 Thanks for... don't forget your rem... 494 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:39,394 I almost forgot... 495 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,599 I... You should ask... 496 00:21:43,601 --> 00:21:44,967 - Alec, yeah. - Yeah. 497 00:21:44,969 --> 00:21:46,369 It's Ale... Yeah, I'll... 498 00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:47,469 see you tomorrow. 499 00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:51,574 Hm. 500 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:52,908 I kind of get it now. 501 00:22:01,419 --> 00:22:02,884 Ooh, baby. 502 00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:05,755 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 503 00:22:05,757 --> 00:22:08,657 - Your lips on my... - What's that? 504 00:22:08,659 --> 00:22:11,526 May? 505 00:22:11,528 --> 00:22:12,961 - Can we? - Okay. 506 00:22:19,703 --> 00:22:23,139 Oh, yeah! 507 00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:25,141 Nice! 508 00:22:25,191 --> 00:22:29,741 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35980

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