Original subtitles

Previously on "Foursome,"

thanks to my big brother, Alec,

I'm now cemented in the sister zone.

His public displays of bro-tality

not only scared off all the guys at Brayer

but solidified my little sister status with Josh.

That's a good look, kiddo.

Dealing with that

and Mr. Shaw breathing down my neck over Media Club,

I'm gonna break out.

Thankfully, my foursome is full of ideas

to get me out of my current situation.

Alec's girlfriend, Court, focused her energy

on breaking my dry spell with a fake frat boyfriend.

It didn't quite work out.

What do you call these?

Uh...

where did you get those?

Were you in my room?

Alec, you are not allowed to go in my room.

Stop deflecting.

What is my infant sister doing with furry handcuffs?

I don't have to answer to you.

Did you have a guy in your...

Did you get S&M'd?

Oh, my God, Andie, I am not letting you out of my sight.

I am dead-bolting the door. I am putting baby monitors up.

I'm getting your phone records.

Stop. I can explain. Um, it's, um...

It's from the play that you were doing.

- Yeah. - Remember?

- "How To Kill a Glass Menagerie." - "Arsenic and Old People."

Play? I didn't give you permission to do a play, okay?

Besides, what play has furry handcuffs for 12-year-olds?

Theater girls are loose.

Uh, it's an all-girls play.

Oh, well, I'm definitely gonna be seeing that.

And you are definitely going to be seeing me.

I got my eyes on you, little sister.

Hey, Courtney, I got you a present, baby!

- Babe! - Here, here.

Oh, my gosh.

You forgot to hide the handcuffs.

- Thanks for doing that. - I got your back.

You're not actually doing S&M stuff, are you?

'Cause those bruises, they're not just on the outside.

Andie Fixler, just the person I was looking for.

All right, I'm gonna catch you later.

Uh, yeah, cool. I'm totally not doing...

weird things.

- Later, Josh. - Later.

Andie, do you know where I'm coming from?

The bathroom?

Uh, no.

Principal Slacks' office.

I have been assigned, uh, lunch duty.

Yeah, apparently, if you teach here,

you either have to run an extracurricular,

or you get monitor shifts.

That shirt is inappropriate.

But you do run an extracurricular.

Media Club, right?

Because I'm in that.

Yeah, funny you should mention that,

because in order for there to be a Media Club,

there needs to be media,

and, uh, you guys haven't made a new "Cup O'Brayer"

since the beginning of the school year.

Right, yeah, we're...

Andie, do you know why I chose Media Club?

'Cause you love media?

Because the students do all the work.

I don't even know what you guys do in there.

- We're just making... - You know what?

I don't want to know.

I don't want to... slow down.

I don't want to know.

All that I ask is that it doesn't come back to me.

Yeah, you know, we're definitely working

on a segment right now.

- Yeah. - You are?

- Yeah. - Oh, that's great.

There you go. That's all I want.

I'll, uh, come by after school and check it out.

- Great. - Cool.

- Yeah. - Take it easy.

Jacob.

Jarrod, Jacob, come here.

Shit!

Just as I'm about to reach heaven,

the door starts to jiggle.

And bam! Interrupted.

Underneath the bleachers, so close.

Bam!

Locker rooms. Bam!

Nurse's office. Bam!

Right before I can have a happy ending.

Bam, bam, bam!

Aah! Stop!

Are you guys telling scary sex stories again?

Dakota, I told you not to do that anymore.

Courtney gets nightmares,

and she is not allowed to sleep in my room anymore.

You feel me up in your sleep.

Yes.

Anyway, guys, focus. We have a real problem.

We know. You don't have a boyfriend.

Guys, that's not what I'm talking about.

I ran into Mr. Shaw today in the hallway,

and I promised him a new "Cup O'Brayer"

by the end of today...

Which means we only have half a day to come up with an idea,

film, edit, and hand in a segment.

What's happening here?

Nothing's happening here.

He's empty-threatening you.

We're always "supposed" to turn in a segment.

Yeah, but I think he's serious this time, guys.

Mr. Shaw is the king of empty threats.

I'm supposed to be in jail

for being on school property, remember?

No follow-through.

Fine. If you guys aren't gonna help me,

then at least I know I can always count on Imogen

to take the situation seriously.

Imogen, thank God.

We're having a crisis.

We really need to...

What are you doing?

Oh, my God.

I could literally feel the hair follicles

release from my head.

They just go...

whoo.

Because my hair was so...

Because the French.

My hair's French!

Bonjour.

Where have you been?

You know what, Courtney? You're really nosy.

Boop, boop.

Imogen, what's wrong with you?

Oh, my God, y'all.

She is high.

What? Imogen, no, no, you wouldn't do that, right?

No, I would never smoke drugs, you guys.

I don't even know what a marijuana branch looks like.

Branch.

Bran-tch.

Weird.

She's baked.

Courtney, if you know where I was,

why are you asking?

- What do you mean? - Well, that's where I was at.

I was at the Bake-Off.

Oh, my God, you guys.

These really nice girls,

they were like, "Do you want a brownie?"

And I was like, "Oh, no, no,

"because I cannot have sugar for breakfast,

because that leads to early-onset diabetes."

I was totally drugged, wasn't I?

- All the way. - 100%, yes.

Oh, my God, you guys.

They're drugs. The drugs are in me!

Oh, my God, I'm the gateway. Andie, I am the gateway.

I-I-I'm in the gateway because I took the drugs.

The drug... oh, God, the drugs.

- Imogen, Imogen... - I have it on me, Andie.

- Imogen, calm down. - It's on me, Andie!

It's on me! Get it away!

Calm down. Imogen, calm down!

Crush it, Andie, and take it away!

Just in time, little sister!

What did you just shove in your mouth?

A brownie.

A brownie.

A brownie.

Ha! I see what's going on here.

You just "suspiciously" shove a brownie into your mouth.

You're pregnant!

Babe!

She's not pregnant. She's got her end of a sentence.

It makes you crave choco.

What? No, she doesn't have that yet.

Since I was 12.

Oh, God, Andie! Gross! Ew! Fine!

Gross, Andie! Whatever!

That better be what it is.

So...

plug it up.

Now that that's out of the way...

it's full steam ahead on our segment.

Any ideas?

Um, you do realize you just took an edible, right?

Yeah, but it's my first time taking one.

Everyone knows you never get high

the first time you smoke out.

It's Imogen's first time on drugs,

and she is tore up.

Bonjour.

He's right. That's just an urban legend.

If you do drugs correctly, you get high.

How long?

About 30 minutes.

Don't panic.

Everything's gonna be okay. We'll finish the segment.

Okay, just... let's go to the loo

and just splash some water on our faces

and breathe.

- Okay? - We'll be right here.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Bake-Off.

BAKE SALE

Hello?

Can we help you?

Uh, yeah, my friend got an edible here before,

and I want to buy one now.

Oh, we...

we don't sell edibles.

It's just my mom's brownies.

Okay. Um...

I think women should help other women, don't you?

Yeah, okay, what's up?

I hook up with my roommate sometimes.

Roommate stuff... fun.

We like to do the scissoring but not for crafts.

Courtney, just... just...

Well, maybe this will change your mind...

ladies.

It's still a no.

- Oh. - Okay, I got this.

- All right, here's 40. - Give them more.

Here's another 40.

Thank you.

Um, okay, I'll just be taking...

No, no.

- I'll be taking this. - No, no.

Let it go. Walk away.

Imogen, I told you.

You can't smell anything.

- Are you sure? - Mm-hmm.

So fun business.

We went to the Bake-Off and got more drugs.

We definitely split one on the way here.

Can you guys please do your drug stuff later?

- We have pressing matters. - Andie, chill out.

We're not gonna lose the Brayer Lair.

This place is our home.

It's where I met you guys.

Shaw wouldn't do that to us, and, plus, I'm pretty sure

you're making it a bigger deal than what it was.

And we're all on the same playing field right now.

We'll get the segment done. No problem.

Positive thinking... I like that.

Besides, my first-time theory seems to be right.

- I don't feel anything. - Great. Let's get to work.

Perfect. I have so many ideas.

I can't wait to hear them.

I've got a few ideas of my own.

Uh-oh.

What's the matter?

Come pet me.

I'm soft, Andie. Come pet me.

? You will find ?

Hey, Andie.

Looks like the segment's not quite done yet, huh?

Okay, I think it's time I made myself heard.

You will have a finished, coherent, polished segment

by the end of the day...

or I am dissolving Media Club.

Cool it with the dramatics, Imogen.

That means no more hanging out in the media room.

I promise we're working on it, right?

The future of the Media Club

rests in your guys's hands, all right?

I mean, it's up to you what you want to do with it.

Good luck and, uh, godspeed.

Good thing edibles only last for 15 minutes.

Am I right?

How long?

T-MINUS 2 HOURS

Oh, my God, you guys, we only have two hours

until the "Cup O'Brayer" segment is due,

and we don't even have a concept.

Does anybody else hear that ticking?

Oh, God. We cannot lose this lair.

Do you know if I go out there,

all the basics will get revenge on me for all my truths?

I can't help they're basic!

Oh, he's right. He's right. We can't lose this place!

I mean, the only reason I haven't handcuffed myself

to my bed all semester

is because I skunk-sprayed this room to smell like my mom,

and I can't lose that!

What about me?

Am I just supposed to go to math? To math?

I can confidently say

this is the only time I regret doing drugs.

Oh, my God, you guys, drugs in school aren't cool.

It rhymes for a reason.

That's it. That's it.

S.T.A.R.E.... Stop Teens At Risk Everywhere.

- What are you gobbling about? - For "Cup O'Brayer."

We'll just do a segment about how teens shouldn't do drugs,

and then no one will know

that we ate, like, a ton of pot brownies.

It's a double negative, Courtney.

She's got it. By George, I think she's got it.

You know what? I usually think staring's really rude,

but I'm so into this.

I'm so into it!

Oh, ho-ho, little sister.

- I knew it. - Hey, babe.

I knew something was up. What is this?

Glue.

Everyone sees glue, right?

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Oh, you think I'm stupid, don't you?

You don't think I know what glue is used for?

Crafts?

Lube.

Who are you lubing, Andie?

I want names, Andie! Who are you "glubing"?

Andie, no! Andie!

Babe, you need to cool off.

- Dude. - All right.

I'm gonna go outside. I'm gonna cool my jets.

But when I come back, I want answers.

Hey.

He guessed your locker combo in three tries.

I think he might be kind of smart.

Why is he looking for stuff?

Is... does he think something's happening?

Because nothing's happening. Everything's completely normal.

Uh-huh. You want to know the first sign

of something not being normal?

Someone rambling about how normal everything is.

Read that on a bathroom stall once.

I also like to read in the bathroom.

Okay.

What's with the brownies?

What brownies? We... no, we don't have brownies.

Mm-mm.

Did you go to the Bake-Off today?

Are those the lesbian brownies?

Mm, not exactly.

Hey, Alec.

What's up, man? You're back.

Yeah, I counted to three. I feel better.

Oh, great. You look serene.

I'm starving, so we're gonna go.

- Um... - Let's go to your place, bro.

- I'm watching you, Andie. - Yep.

Oh, my God, guys, Josh knows.

We're dead. Alec is gonna find out.

Everyone is going to find out.

Who's gonna find out what?

Aah! Mr. Shaw, get out!

I mea... I mean, hi.

I hate that I'm back here.

But someone checked out film equipment

and left it in the hallway.

Okay?

That comes back to me.

My bad.

I have to ask, have you even started filming a segment yet?

- all: Uh... - Um...

Once those doors are closed, they stay closed, okay?

And I'm not gonna fill out the paperwork

to reopen those doors.

No teacher will sponsor this club,

because you guys are a liability.

What's this, huh?

It's good.

I deserve this.

I'm gonna take this, okay?

I deserve some sweetness.

I'll be back in an hour.

Pick this up!

No.

Don't.

Wait. Was that as late as it felt?

We are not going down like this.

We're not losing the Brayer Lair, not like this.

Andie, we have one hour. It is impossible.

Exactly. We're gonna pull off a miracle.

Who's in?

You crazy SOB.

Let's do this.

T MINUS 1 HOUR

Dakota.

You guys look crazy.

So, uh, let's, uh...

let's take a look at that segment, you guys.

Imogen.

I am Dakota, but you already know that.

What you do not know is,

is that you've all been eating a lie.

Oh, cool. Alcohol.

S.T.A.R.E. is great...

if you want a watered-down version of the truth.

Do you like watered-down vodka?

- I don't know. - Didn't think so.

S.T.A.R.E. at yourself. You like what you see?

One time after dinner, high as a kite,

I did a little bit of Facebook stalking.

Every time I searched a name,

I was posting it to my wall.

Because of drugs.

Oh!

? If you want to Snapchat with your friends ?

? You better not do drugs ?

? 'Cause if you do, your friends trick you ?

And take a picture that lasts forever

It's happened to me 100 times, if not more.

We are S.T.A.R.E.'ing at you to stop party popping

and start party stopping.

Stay off drugs!

Aah!

Uh...

I HATE MR. SHAW

Uh...

Are you okay?

Hmm? What?

Oh, um...

Good job, guys.

One after the other.

So you're gonna get your...

you got your Lair Brayer back, so that's good.

So I need to get going.

Congratulations.

Come on, guys, put your books away.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe that just happened.

- What? - That was amazing, you guys.

That was so weird.

It was high-key weird.

- We did drugs. - We did fix it.

- And our teacher did drugs. - I had fun.

Do you guys want to come over tonight and watch a movie?

- Sure. I'm down. - Awesome.

- I'M IN YOUR CAR WITH NO PANTS! - Yeah, but...

- MY PLACE IN 20? - you know, a movie sounds good.

No, guys, you've been waiting all day.

Just... just go. It's cool.

- Peace! - Bye!

- Oh, hey. - Hey, guys.

Hey.

Thought you might want a ride.

The bus is no fun when you're high. Trust me.

All right, grab your stuff. Let's go.

You know, I totally would,

seriously, but I can't.

Thanks so much for the offer, though.

I mean, you really had my back today.

I know I'm just your friend's little sister or whatever,

but I seriously appreciate it.

Andie, you're not just my friend's little sister.

You're... you're my friend too, you know.

I love spending time with you.

I mean, it'd be a lot easier on this friendship

if you didn't make me cover up

for you guys doing drugs in school

and your handcuffs and whips in your room,

which are still kind of unexplained, but that's fine.

You know, we're... we're on our way to being bffers.

God, did I just say "bffers"?

- That's so embarrassing. - Yeah.

I don't even know what "bffers" really means.

No, don't... bffers is totally awesome.

We can totally be bffers, yeah.

- Okay. - Just...

Can we start tomorrow?

Because I have plans with Imogen.

Bffers tomorrow, Imogen tonight. It's a deal.

Just don't tell anyone I said "bffers," okay?

Got it.

Looks like it's just you and me tonight.

Imogen, you don't have withdrawals.

You're fine.

Oh, perfect.

You want to share it with me?

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