Original subtitles

All right, it's 10:03. Getting ready to call.

My heart is pounding.

It feels like I'm starting the state race

of the 200-meter dash.

[Sighs]

Ok, I'm going.

I'm going.

Any last words of advice?

Ok, good, good, good words.

Ok.

I'll be quiet now.

Ok, I'm good.

[phone ringing]

Shoot.

WOMAN: Hello?

WOMAN: ♪ I don't say with my heart, I don't give in ♪

♪ to anybody who comes alongside me ♪

♪ And says, "Baby, I got you" ♪

♪ The lesson that I've learned ♪

♪ Is too many people ♪

♪ know just what to tell you ♪

♪ But they don't know how to follow through ♪

♪ So I'm searching, I am searching, I am longing, I am longing ♪

♪ That I don't have to walk this road alone ♪

♪ All it takes is one feeling person to say ♪

♪ I will be, I will be, I will be ♪

♪ I will be your witness ♪

♪ Oh, ho, I will be your witness ♪

♪ So cold ♪

♪ I will be your witness ♪

♪ Oh ho ho ♪

♪ I will be your witness ♪

♪ Yeah, I will be your witness ♪

WOMAN: This is a little treasure box that I have

full of different things that I've collected in my life.

And one of them is this little book

called "The Puppy That Found a Home."

My mom read this to me a zillion times

when I was about 5 or 6,

and about a little lost puppy who tried to find a home,

and every place he went, the people would say,

"Go away, little stray, go away, I say."

I just love this book, and I'm not sure why 'cause I really--

dogs are not my favorite.

But I really love this book about him finding a home.

And I don't know, maybe it planted a seed in my life.

So David and I were married and at Western Washington University

here in Bellingham.

Uh, let's see, 1973.

We were pregnant with our first baby

who we named Elena.

And it was-- It was very exciting,

exciting to be pregnant

and exciting to see what that new life was gonna be like.

MAN: We had decided, I think even at the time Elena was born,

that we were to have one homemade

and that we wanted a large family.

But there were kids that needed homes.

I had some friends who had adopted,

and that kind of gave me the first glimpse

of something that I might like to do some day.

Once Elena was born, I had a vasectomy,

and we started, I think within a couple of years,

actually with an international adoption agency first.

Took about 5 years, going through a couple of different agencies

as we moved and ended with the state of Washington

as our primary agency for adoption.

Elena was 7, about 7 years old, and we decided to adopt,

and we adopted Shawna in 1982.

She was a special needs adoption.

She was 1 pound, 14 ounces when she was born,

MAN: We received a call

about this little 1-year-old girl,

and the next day, Teresa,

Elena and I were on a ferry down to Bramerton,

and we got her, I think, we kind of joked

about, "Count her toes.

Make sure she had 5 toes on each foot."

And she had those. She had a lot of other things, too.

Anyway, it was a great experience,

and we thought, "Wow, this is really something."

And we just kept wanting more.

Two years later, we got the itch to adopt again.

This time it was Steven, who was about 5 years old.

He was...had numerous foster home placements,

and...we could hardly wait to get him to our house

and have him part of our family.

Youa, of course,

was the one who was never formally adopted.

Had a family.

But we count her, she-- is a Laotian refugee

that came to live with us,

and we count her as part of our family.

Then we weren't done.

It seemed like about every two years

we kind of got the itch to adopt again,

so then Kyle was next,

and we met him at an adoption party

down in Seattle where they had waiting children

and families who wanted to adopt.

And he had fetal alcohol syndrome.

Keniche and Shanika joined our family from Kentucky

as a sibling group.

Then we saw Angela in a book.

WOMAN: Angela had special needs,

but they weren't exactly sure what they were gonna be

at that time.

MAN: When Angela was born,

the doctors noticed some tightness in her extremities.

They diagnosed her with spastic quadriplegia,

and they said that she'd never walk.

She was immediately placed in a foster home in Chattanooga

with a very young, loving couple

who gave her physical therapy every day for hours

just so that they could change her diaper

because her limbs were so tight.

DAVID: Angela was born in '85,

and that would have been in '86 she was just 1,

and we made the call and flew back

and we actually brought her home on that trip.

And she just...wow.

♪

WOMAN: Never talked much about

the mixed-race issues of adoption.

Well, I don't know why.

It just didn't seem to matter.

We just looked at each child as a person

and what their needs were

and thought about if we could help with any of those needs,

I think.

DAVID: And Bellingham was not diverse at that time,

ethnically diverse.

It simply wasn't.

And I'd feel for Elena sometimes growing up.

Elena was 7 when we started expanding our family.

She was an only child for 7 years,

and then all of a sudden over a several-year period,

it looked like the circus had come to town.

Fun walking into church sometimes.

I think there was kind of a, "Well, who have they added now?"

WOMAN: At the grocery store, strangers would say,

"Where is this kid from?"

And I'd say, "Well, this kid is my kid."

Ha ha!

"Oh, well, where are they from?"

And I'd say, "Bellingham."

You could tell they wanted to say, "Are they from Africa?"

MAN: 8.

4 stayed in Bellingham, and we came over.

Oh, you know, you walk down the street

and it's like a magnet.

Ha ha! I'll be darned.

I don't know.

How do you get rid of them

is the better question.

MAN: I first met Angela sometime around 2007

when we were both attending Seattle Pacific University.

And she was a psychology major,

and I needed to take an introductory psych class,

and I remember we worked on an assignment together

and just really got along and clicked,

and we started hanging out outside of class,

and not too long after started dating.

And we realized with both loved basketball,

so we were playing basketball together all the time,

and I remember she told me later that she remembered the moment

she knew she was really attracted to me

was when we first played one on one.

And we were just playing real intense,

and I swatted one of her shots really bad.

And I felt horrible about it, but she loved it

just because I didn't take it easy on her

because she was a girl.

And that was sort of how our relationship started building from there.

Fast forward two years later in 2009,

and that's when I asked Angela to marry me.

And at that point, it seemed like life couldn't get any better.

I remember, though, noticing this growing change in Angela,

and it was this desire for her to find her birth mother.

And I sort of got it, I understood it,

knowing that she was raised by white parents

in a very white town.

I knew that there had to have been this innate desire

for her to connect with her roots

and see people that look like her

and to know where she got her traits,

but I think I underestimated how strong that desire was.

You know, I think maybe around the age of 12 or so,

11, 12, when I started hearing some rumblings

of Angela being interested in finding her birth mom.

I think there was always fear on my mom's part

of her finding this mother that replaced my mom.

When they were young, I did worry about that a little bit

because I wasn't sure I could handle that as a mom

because they were my kids and I was their mom.

I had so much admiration for her parents

and what they did, adopting all those children.

You know, I would say to Angela,

"You know, you had a great family.

"You had two parents that loved you.

Not a lot of kids can say that."

And you know, we would get in arguments about it sometimes,

and Angela would just say,

"You know, I know my parents love me,

but that's not what this is about."

At one point I thought, you know, why...

why do you need to find your birth parents?

And part of it, too, was probably protection

for our parents

'cause I felt like it was a little bit insulting to them

'cause it was like, aren't they enough?

They've done everything.

But I totally--I mean, I get it as much as I can get it.

I remember one comment Angela made

about, you know, how people would always say,

"Oh, you look just like your dad."

And she had to go through life not ever hearing that,

and it just makes you understand, you know,

a small part of what goes into that

or where that need comes from.

MAN: I think I finally got to a point

to where I understood better where she was coming from,

and I understood how I could be supportive of her

in searching for her birth family.

MOTHER: You know, as she got older,

it really felt deeply like I was her mom,

and I think as she got in her 20s

I realized that it wasn't gonna change

my status of being mom

if she found her birth mother,

and I became as curious as her,

like, who was her birth mother and what's her story?

MAN: Her name was Deborah,

and everything we've known about her

comes from this 3-page document

that was first given to David and Teresa.

Deborah's last name was whited out

as this was a closed adoption.

Deborah herself had 5 siblings, 3 sisters, and twin brothers.

She was 32 years old at the time Angela was born,

and she already had 4 children prior to Angela.

There were two boys, Timothy and James,

and one daughter, Carolyn, were in her possession.

The fourth child was an unnamed daughter

born over a year before Angela and also placed for adoption.

We knew from this document

that Deborah had kept her pregnancy with Angela

and this other daughter a secret from her entire family,

including her own children,

and it's hard to imagine how she could do that,

but the document went on to explain

that Deborah's 3 children

would live with either their grandparents

or an aunt or an uncle for long periods of time

just because Deborah was unable to provide financially for them.

It definitely adds an interesting dynamic

when you consider that Angela has this whole family out there--

aunts, uncles, sibling--

that never knew she was even born.

ANGELA: "I think of all of you as heroes.

"You are heroes because you've provided a life

"and you've shown amazing strength and character

"in your choice for creating an adoption plan,

"and for this I, as an adoptee,

am forever grateful and thankful you."

That's nice.

Mom and I spoke, and it just got so cool.

We spoke, and then we were done,

and I was walking back to the chair.

And nobody was clapping or anything.

It was just quiet.

It was kind of awkward,

like, "Oh, do they not feel anything?"

Or did it not--

but then the questions started,

and people just started asking, like,

"So..."

I can't even remember the questions,

but they pinged off

into like these heart-getting conversations

mainly between birth mom to birth mom.

The one that just hit me so hard

because she just had no feeling,

like she had something growing inside of her

and she would hear all these pregnant women

saying like, "Oh, my gosh.

I just feel so connected,"

and just the way she was thinking, like--

or when she was talking, I was like,

I hear Deborah in her.

Just this didn't want to parent,

didn't--

Just wanted to do what she had to do

and then gone...And then be done.

with her life kind of.

MAN: We had so much information

about Deborah and her family,

but there was no identifying information,

so at one point I said to Angela,

you know, "Let's shift the focus

and start looking for your birth father more."

I mean, we had his first name: Oterious,

which is a very unique name,

and so I thought, you know, let's start looking for him

and maybe we can find him,

and if we do, that brings us one step closer to Deborah.

So we figure that his last name

couldn't have been longer than 4 letters long,

so when we searched, we were searching for those short last names.

Our first search came up with about a dozen men in the U.S. name Oterious,

but only one was somehow linked to the state of Tennessee.

The last name was Bell,

which fit the criteria of what we were looking for.

So we kept searching.

Oterious Bell, Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Nothing too obvious came up at first,

but we found this blog post by a Chattanooga radio DJ,

and it was about a guy named Sandy Bell.

And so we started reading it,

and it was just talking about this guy Sandy

who was sort of a well-known and very well-loved vagrant

in the the town of Chattanooga,

and he had just been diagnosed with cancer

and he needed financial help to pay for treatments,

and I remember just thinking that this sounded kind of weird,

kind of sketchy, but kept reading

and near the very bottom we saw his real name is Oterious Bell.

So we thought, hmm, this guy Oterious goes by the name Sandy.

Let's start searching for Sandy Bell.

And once we did that, that's when everything changed.

Angela and I stayed up all night

just reading every single comment and story

about this guy,

And the more searches that we did,

the more stuff we found.

WOMAN, ON VIDEO: Beautiful day.

NEWSCASTER ON VIDEO: Meet Oterious "Sandy" Bell,

the flower man.

For more than a decade,

Sandy has spread his own form of sunshine

through downtown Chattanooga.

MAN: Just so nice.

NEWSCASTER: The flower man is a fixture

in downtown clubs and restaurants,

passing out petal treats to the ladies

and making everyone smile.

They say I'm making their day

when actually I think it was totally vice versa.

NEWSCASTER: But now Sandy is facing a battle.

Last December he found out he has cancer.

4 surgeries and several rounds of chemotherapy later,

a group of people Sandy has touched

want to help him in return.

It's unbelievable. I mean, I can't see it.

I'm just grateful and appreciative.

TERESA: Angela and I never thought

that she would probably find her birth father

because she just had his first name,

and she called me up one night.

She told me that she thought she found him.

And this person looks just like her.

Ha ha!

And--and I thought, mmm.

I was trying really hard to be supportive,

but I just thought, there's no way.

Like, she had kind of told me this story,

and I just thought...

Well, maybe.

DAVID: We've been there before.

We've been there before, yeah.

We've been there before.

Let's take a look.

She emailed the picture,

and it was like...

Oh, my goodness.

You--You do look like him.

Both of us just about turned green.

I mean, we were just like... that's him.

That's him.

And so then it was like, "Huh. Where do we go from here?"

You know?

[Vocalizing]

♪ I have never been to church ♪

♪ Read a bible in my life ♪

♪ But I have seen the future ♪

♪ in the glowing lights of the midnight sky ♪

♪ So my friends and I set out to find the place ♪

♪ where the future begins ♪

MAN: I don't know why they call him a...

ANGELA: Wonder if they have, like...

where we got to check in.

You'll find out. Good luck. Have fun.

Thanks!

All right, let's get out.

TERESA: I'll just set up.

Yeah. Yeah.

MAN: At this point, I'm feeling a little nervous

because this could go horribly wrong

or it could be unbelievable.

You know, we had spent the last 4 weeks

learning everything about this guy,

Sandy the flower man,

from his Facebook page and all the--

all the stories that different people had posted about him.

But here we are just showing up at his place,

and he doesn't even know we exist yet.

And we're about to come and drop a bomb on him,

hoping that it's well received.

But I just kept thinking about

all the things that could go wrong with this situation.

[Laughter]

Yeah, that was interesting 'cause we felt like we were...

right there,

and we were about to find this guy,

and everybody's real excited,

and then it just wasn't happening,

and so we're sort of wondering what to do next.

So then everybody was talking,

and I was just sitting there by myself

and saw this guy come out of the building,

and the next thing you know, he's getting on his bike,

and it's got all these flags,

and I'm like, "Wait a minute, that's Sandy right there.

Gosh, I think I just didn't even know what was happening

at that point.

So I think instinctively I jus started walking towards him,

like this is it, do or die kind of thing.

Just you do...be confident, walk up to him,

act like I know what's going on.

So I walked up to him

and I think I just told him,

"My name is Angela, and I think you might be my birth dad.

Your name is on some of my original documents."

He just stared at me.

I don't know exactly what he heard me say,

but it felt like he was just intensely staring and looking at me,

and then I think we both just couldn't believe

how much alike we looked.

He had told me that he's always wanted kids,

and he thought he could never have any,

and his--his mother had told me

that they thought he was sterile,

and so I think I realized quickly

that this is a big deal for him,

and I think the whole time I was just thinking

this is a big deal for me.

Then he took his glasses off,

and then he said again, like,

"You've got a lot of me in you.

I'm looking in a mirror."

Aw!

It was-- It was so--

It was so...

Ah!

So he invited us all back to his mom's apartment.

He started naming off names, like, of all--

I think he has 7 siblings.

So he's naming all of his siblings who are gonna be there,

and so in my mind it was like, "Wow!

"Those are aunts and uncles I'm gonna be meeting,

"and maybe they all have kids

and cousins I'm gonna be meeting,"

so it went from like one person, a very important person,

birth dad, to all of a sudden his whole side of the family.

[vocalizing]

♪ Been looking through time continuous ♪

♪ Trying to find my way ♪

♪ Of the many only this one has led me to today ♪

♪ 'Cause dreams through the atmosphere ♪

♪ All the darks and lights ♪

♪ In you I'm found ♪

♪ In you I'm me ♪

[Vocalizing]

ANGELA: Deborah, yes.

WOMAN: No.

MAN: Is she still--

MAN: No.

There's a street bus.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Laughter]

I ain't from around here. Ha ha!

We messin' with you, Granddad.

ANGELA: Do you remember any adoption agencies

talking to you ever?

[Laughter]

So, baby, you made my brother's day...

make everybody's day.

And Sandy and his brother, Jay, knew where Deborah lived.

And so said, you know, he said,

"Well, you want to go drive by?"

And so we thought...

Ok...we'll just drive by and just see where she lives.

Maybe she'd be out front.

Angela thought maybe she could just get a glimpse of her.

So all of a sudden he pulls over.

WOMAN: Why did you pull up?

TERESA: Sandy opens the car door

and runs across the street

and knocks on Deborah's door.

And we're...feeling like...

we're not sure if this is a safe area or not.

It doesn't feel real safe.

Angela right away said,

"Deborah, I think you might be my birth mother."

MAN: I was recording with just a little tiny camera,

and as I got closer to everyone, I just turned it off

out of respect to Deborah and just the situation

and not really knowing how she would react

if she saw me recording everything.

So Angela said her thing,

and I could just hear Deborah say,

"You know, I'm not the person you're looking for. Sorry."

And we all knew, but we just didn't want to push it,

so we left.

ELENA: It's just really sad.

I just felt so bad for her.

When we got back to our hotel, and she watched the video

over and over and over,

trying to figure out what in this woman was her.

And it was almost like she...

she didn't want it to be her.

I mean, I don't know.

MAN: I remember noticing

just how visibly shaken Angela looked.

And it was...

it was really hard for me to see her like that.

It was hard for me just as her husband

and as her protector just to know what I could do

to help her in that situation to help make things better.

I was thankful, though, that Jay and Sandy were there.

They really helped lighten the mood with their humor.

...you looking like you.

Ok.

No. I said I want you to meet somebody.

MAN: That took a lot of courage

for you to go over there.

[Laughter]

I'm just shucking, boy.

Hello! I thought you knew.

[Laughter]

'Cause all my life I've been told

out of 3 boys and 3 girls in the family

that I was unable to have kids.

Turned my whole life around.

I mean, I didn't think we needed to take a DNA test on myself.

She looked exactly like me.

SANDY: I'm 54, and I'm a father.

ANGELA: Seeing the DNA results just mean everything,

and it's just amazing and really cool

to scientifically see that we are related.

As excited as I was, I still couldn't quite comprehend Deborah

and...don't quite want to believe that she would do that.

Um...I don't know.

I still...I couldn't quite believe that she would deny me.

Although I do feel more complete

knowing that Sandy's my birth dad,

I--I still desire to know my birth mother

in the right light,

'cause I don't think that that was her true self.

Or at least I don't want to think that.

I know from my adoption papers that I have other siblings.

I don't know if they're half or full.

I'm not sure.

But I want to keep searching for them,

hopefully finding them

I'd have birth aunts and birth uncles as well.

I want to know what they look like.

I just want to see them.

But I want to be respectful of Deborah,

and it sounds like she doesn't want to acknowledge that I exist,

and so that concerns me that maybe all these birth siblings

don't know that I exist,

and they maybe don't want to know

and maybe they have hard feelings about it all, too.

I'm not sure, but-- but I want to keep searching

'cause I just want to-- to see them. Mm-hmm.

[Vocalizing]

ANGELA'S HUSBAND: Angela was just determined

to continue searching for every name that she had

on that 3-page document.

Just plugging in those names to Facebook and Google

and just anything.

And one day she got a match on Facebook

with one of her birth aunts, a Belinda Johnson,

and it has said that Belinda had just joined Facebook

two weeks prior,

so Angela sent her a message and Belinda wrote back,

and they exchanged a series of messages,

and then that just set off this whole new wave of events

that none of us had really expected.

MAN, OVER ANSWERING MACHINE: Hello, Angela,

my name is Michael B. Johnson.

I am your oldest male relative alive.

I need to speak with you.

I just found out.

My oldest sister told me yesterday.

I wonder if you will call me.

If not, I'll call you until I get you.

WOMAN: Hey, Angela, this is your long-lost sister Na-Na.

When you get this message, give me a call back.

All right, bye.

MAN: Hello and good morning.

This is your uncle Michael.

I thought I would just leave you a message this morning

in hopes that it might brighten your day.

WOMAN: Hey, Angela, this is Aunt Mamie.

Give me a call when you get free.

Your sister May called me yesterday,

and so we was talking about you.

I thought I'd give you a call.

Give me a call, sweetie. You guys be good. Bye-bye.

Hello, this is Angela. Is this Aunt Mamie?

MAMIE: Oh, hello, sweet pea, how you doing?

Good. I'm sorry I missed your call.

I've been watching Deborah on Facebook.

[Laughter]

What does Deborah do, like, all day

or just hanging out with her friends?

No. She's a--

Do you think that Deborah will talk to me

when I come?

I don't--

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, but I don't know her,

and all I want is...

I don't even know what I want,

but you know--

Yeah.

No. Yeah.

That was exhausting. I'm exhausted.

But it was fun. It was really fun.

I wonder about Deborah.

She's just-- She's, like, maybe--

It's so weird being interested in psychology

and, like, interested in just figuring people out,

and I'm always pretty much able to figure people out,

or just like, you know, ask questions,

but Deborah may be the one person on this world

that I will not be able to figure out.

That's fascinating.

It's like of all the people,

you would be the one I would like to figure out the most.

I may go to try to get some questions answered,

and then I'll get out of her life forever

if that's what she wants.

Like, I won't do anything.

I'm not gonna keep trying to knock on her door,

but...we've already forced ourselves on her once,

and she didn't take it well, so it's like...

we really should do it again, you know?

But the fact is is that if she wanted to find me,

she would have found me already,

but she didn't want to.

Right, and that's ok.

That's all right.

But you'll get to, you know,

hear her voice and...

maybe she'll share a few things,

and...where it evolves after that, it's ok.

Ok.

That's the story.

Ok.

You--but--don't-- You do want to,

like, meet your siblings and...

I do.

Yeah, 'cause they really want to meet you.

I know. I'm excited to meet them,

but there's something with this Deborah freak

that's just like--

And that's ok.

She can be however she is,

and I think you can still get

your basic questions answered.

Hopefully. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I have a picture painted that she is very wise,

but that she doesn't share her wisdom.

You know, they all say that she just doesn't...

do emotions and that she doesn't, like, express herself

and that she sits in her house and watches TV

and doesn't do anything,

but...I just don't...

I don't know if people haven't tried hard enough.

I think maybe they probably have tried,

but I think there's a lot more...

and it would be a shame if she never...

let that get out,

and maybe I'm the person that can...

get to the root of whatever is going on.

I don't know.

[Telephone ringing]

WOMAN: Hello?

Hi, is this Deborah?

Yeah.

Hi. This is Angela.

Angela, how are you doing?

I'm doing well. Kind of nervous to talk to you,

but I'm excited.

Why?

There's a lot of things special about you.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, I--

Wow.

Yeah, of me and my husband?

Mm-hmm.

Which I still apologize for just showing up like that.

No, no, no.

Oh, no. Oh...

Your sister-- Which one?

Your sister Belinda?

Ha ha!

Well, I just-- I just disagree.

I really feel like you did the right thing,

and I-- I am just so--

I mean, my life has been wonderful.

Huh.

Oh! Ah! Oh!

Are you relieved?

Yeah. Are you?

Yeah.

♪ It's hard to see the good surrounding me ♪

♪ The clouds are covering truth and the lies ♪

♪ And I'm lost at sea, waiting for rescuing ♪

♪ No land in sight, my paddles are dry ♪

♪ Keep your hope alive, belief in your mind ♪

♪ Yeah, you know ♪

♪ When you're tired of waiting ♪

♪ I'll know you wonder lying there as you cry ♪

♪ Yeah, you know ♪

♪ Happiness is waiting ♪

♪ Yeah, happiness is waiting ♪

Yeah, you in the back.

Next question.

Uh, yeah.

Um, no.

I did pretty good.

What? How do I feel about by beaten by a girl?

WOMAN: Yes.

Pretty pathetic!

Race?

Yeah.

So why don't you tell me about who you are.

We're not recording yet, are we?

Yeah, I'm just gonna, you know--

But the thing is, have we started yet?

All right, we're starting right now.

There.

Oh, yeah, right. I can see that.

Oh, yeah, it is.

You can come look at--

Yeah, I see that. Ha ha!

Dude, I can't do this!

Stop it, please.

Please stop it!

I can't do this!

I'm a little bit nervous about seeing

the other side of the family.

I have no idea. I don't know.

Hey, how are you doing?

Or...I don't know if I'm gonna be able

to even understand them.

I just feel like...

they're different.

But I'm black, though. Look at me. I'm black.

But I just don't see myself

as a person that really likes them.

When me and Angela were going to school,

we were the only black kids in school.

She raised us to embrace our heritage.

I didn't want nothing to do with it.

I wanted to be raised as a white.

And, um, I'm a little racist right now.

What do you think about ever since last year

when you found out that Angela was gonna go out

and meet her birth father?

No comment. No comment.

Ok.

I have nothing to say, just happy for her.

TERESA: When Kyle was born,

his birth mother was intoxicated during the birth process.

And Kyle was born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

And that's virtually all we knew.

So about his birth mother we only knew a negative.

You know each person has... isn't just all negative,

that they have lots of positive parts to the as well.

Kyle and I are good buddies.

I took him to Disneyland,

which was like a dream come true for him.

And I had a blast just watching him have fun.

I'm truly honored to be his brother-in-law,

but there's a tragedy in Kyle's life

in that the decisions his birth mother made

while she was carrying him

will affect him for the rest of his life.

And the tragedy of it is that he knows it,

he understands that,

and there are some things

that are difficult for Kyle to understand or grasp

because of his disability,

but this is something he understands very clearly.

And so it makes it really hard for him to talk about it.

So does it-- does it bring up stuff

with your own adoption story?

You don't need to answer.

I'm a little worried

just how he's gonna handle going on this trip.

This trip is not gonna be much sightseeing.

It's gonna be fully focused and centered on Angela

and us meeting with her birth family.

And so that's gonna be difficult,

and it's bound to bring up some stuff with Kyle,

so I think that we all just need to kind of

be on the lookout for him

and make sure that he's doing all right.

WOMAN: ♪ Tell me, can you make this fray ♪

♪ rattle with fire like Jeremiah? ♪

♪ Tell me, can you make my soul rise ♪

♪ Like Ezekiel's bones? ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not the key ♪

♪ just for anybody to lay next to me ♪

♪ They gotta change the world ♪

♪ And I'm not the key just for anybody to make love to me ♪

♪ You gotta change the world ♪

♪ So you better be quick on your feet ♪

♪ You better be slow with your tongue ♪

♪ You better have a good head on those shoulders ♪

♪ So you better be quick on your feet ♪

♪ You better be slow with your tongue ♪

♪ You better have a good head on those shoulders ♪

MAMIE: Nice to meet you!

[Laughter]

There's my baby! Yeah!

Look at you.

Let me touch you.

Girl, look at you.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

[Indistinct chatter]

WOMAN: Thank you.

I can't stand it.

I don't.

ANGELA: What's your address?

WOMAN: 1709.

[Indistinct]

What color is your house?

She's outside, so come on down.

Show her how to get to here, baby.

We'll just...

ANGELA'S HUSBAND: We knew that Deborah's siblings

were really upset that she had kept

Angela a secret all these years.

But no one was more upset than Aunt Belinda.

We had heard that she wouldn't be coming

to the reunion barbecue the next day

with Deborah and the rest of her family,

so we decided to pay Belinda a separate visit.

We were hoping to find out

why she was taking all this so hard.

Oh, my God.

Oh, man.

Ain't she pretty, Mom?

Yeah!

ANGELA: This is my mom, Teresa.

Come on, now.

Exactly, exactly.

All right, all right.

It is what it is. It's just that we need to know.

Ok. Ok.

I believe it was.

Oh!

♪ Time is a cold wind blowing through the leaves ♪

♪ A tired... ♪

ANGELA: I'd always imagined

taking this journey by myself because it's so personal,

but now that I'm here,

I don't think I could have done it without my family by my side.

MAN: ♪ ...what happened to us now ♪

ANGELA: It means so much to me that they want to be here.

MAN: ♪ So would you lend me a hand ♪

♪ to the promised land ♪

♪ where I'm headed glory bound? ♪

♪ And it comes and it goes ♪

♪ Where it's headed no one knows ♪

♪ And we come and we go ♪

♪ All the saints and the liars sitting by the fire ♪

♪ What'll happen to us now? ♪

Well, since day one, I wanted to adopt Angela.

But it was not even an option.

It wasn't something I entertained

because John was still in school.

We had no health insurance.

He's finishing up getting his degree,

but he really was barely supporting, you know, us

as the size family we were right then.

She's beautiful.

I mean, she's really beautiful.

I guess I knew she would be beautiful,

but I kind of was taken aback, like, whoa.

And her spirit.

You know, she's like strong and sweet at the same time.

It's this fascinating combination.

I just love watching her.

I like seeing her respond to my kids.

I like seeing her respond to people,

you know, asking her questions and talking,

and it...I was nervous.

I didn't know what she felt about us.

I didn't know if she felt weird.

I didn't know if did I ever hurt her feelings

by not reaching out more?

But how would I explain to her

that maybe some of that was even selfish?

'Cause that would be hard.

[Sniffs]

As hard as it was to hand her over...

it was really awesome to spend the time with them

and see who she'd be with.

It's probably one of those things

like you're totally ok with it and God used it for good,

and it was all in his perfect plan

and it's just as it should be.

But you always, you know, when you go to that time,

you never kind of lose... the sad part of it, you know.

It's still there. It's...

I'm ok with it.

It's not like I go around crying all the time about it,

but when I have to revisit it, you know,

you will remember.

It's been a huge gift,

and frankly very healing for me to just see her

and interact with her.

[Indistinct chatter]

MAN: Hola!

ANGELA: Hello!

There she is.

Oh.

And that's how you got the Sandy,

by the color of your hair? Oh.

Me, too!

I am, too, yeah.

And I'm adopted, too,

and I'm about to--

I really want to find my birth family.

Oh, right!

And, uh...

Kyle never really had an interest

in finding his birth family.

And...so this was interesting for him

to be an observer.

Watching him meet Sandy and visit with him

was a pretty big deal.

I mean, he just sat with him by himself,

just the two of them,

and we could hear a little bit of what they were saying,

and it was about finding birth families

and how it was ok and an ok thing

and kind of a curious thing to do.

It's been, I mean, I have--

I'm blessed to have this family,

but we'll see where...

what kind of family I have out there.

Yeah, just seeing the outcome of Angela's story,

it's made an inspiration out of my...

Yeah.

KRIS: We were definitely eavesdropping

on their conversation.

Before we went to that party,

I remember there was a conversation with Kyle

that...where we talked about if he ever felt overwhelmed with the party

and with all the things that Angela's going through

that he should grab one of us to, you know,

provide a safe zone to just sort of chill out for a while,

and he was sort of, I think, relating a lot of things

that Angela was going through with to himself,

and it was clear that he'd been moved by the whole experience.

But he needed a little time-out

'cause it was a little overwhelming, I think.

So we continued that.

Marjorie?

Yeah.

Right back at you.

You like that? Get this here!

Oh!

[Laughter]

I taught him everything he know.

Don't tell him I said that. Oh, my.

Out of all my fights when I was knocking guys out,

that's what he tell the cameraman.

"I taught him everything he knows!"

MAN: Keep going, Kyle!

Woo!

Don't forget it!

Wa-hoo!

Yeah!

Hold your applause. Hold your applause.

That ain't nothing.

Oh, ho ho!

I'm planning to do some chin-ups.

Oh, oh!

I'm gonna do 'em, put my hands behind my back

and do chins like this.

He went one hand.

I'm gonna go with none and take this.

Y'all didn't believe me, did you?

[Laughter]

He's flying with...

I'm just talking, brother!

ANGELA'S HUSBAND: This is the most quiet and serious

that I had ever seen Angela before.

The van ride over was almost dead silent.

Even with 8 of us in the van, nobody was really talking.

We could all sense how tense Angela was

and just the fear that she had of this not turning out well.

I do feel like I deserve to know stuff

and not this kind of--

It feels kind of weird saying that.

It's like what does anyone deserve in this world,

but I do feel like she has an obligation

to tell me some things.

MAN: ♪ Oh, my baby ♪

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ Where have you gone? ♪

♪ Where did you go? ♪

♪ I've been waiting, I've been praying ♪

♪ For you... ♪

WOMAN: You know, when I saw her, I'm just like,

"God, she is so pretty,

and why is she so tall,"

and, oh, I was a nervous wreck.

I thought I was gonna puke.

Ha ha!

Oh, God.

I just didn't even know what to say, what do to, you know,

it's just like, "This is my sister?"

Just that whole relationship, you know,

it's been longed for, I believe.

I think would have been a different person

if I would have grown up with a sister.

MAN: ♪ But I won't know who I am ♪

♪ Until I know who you are ♪

TERESA: I've waited, like, for 25 years to thank Deborah,

thank her for sharing Angela.

So I right away, of course, I wanted to thank her.

And so we started walking together,

and I was thanking her,

but at the same time, she was thanking me,

and I'd never thought about that.

She did a-- just a really hard thing.

She did something that I'm not sure I could do,

and I did something that she wasn't able to do.

This is our first--

Lookout Mountain.

Oh, my God.

And she can play--

DEBORAH: My decision to keep that

from my children and my family

was so that I would not have interference in her life.

If my family had known about her,

they would want her.

And I can understand it.

But I don't think that would have been the best thing for her.

I still think I did the right thing.

But I missed a lot. I still miss a lot.

I'll go to my grave missing a lot.

They don't know because after Angela was born

and after I signed the papers to give her up for adoption,

I've been on antidepressants all these years,

but I didn't want to live.

There was nothing for me to live for.

ANGELA: I know that there is a file

at Bethany in Chattanooga got for her

that she never went and picked up.

All the letters we sent and pictures every year,

those went to the Bethany office,

so she may not even know that they are there.

We could go with her to the office and pick them up.

She's the only one that can pick them up,

so, you know, we could go together maybe.

[Doorbell ringing]

Hi. I'm Peggy.

Hi.

You must be Angela.

Nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

I think we'll just sit in here.

Go to this room.

Ok, ok, good. Just wanted to...

ANGELA'S HUSBAND: I turned off the camera

knowing that I wasn't gonna be allowed to film anymore

inside the meeting.

But once we got in there, I asked Peggy once more

if it was ok if I filmed,

and at first she said no,

but then she said, you know,

it's really up to Deborah, though.

And Deborah without hesitation spoke up and said,

"I would love for Bryan to film this."

And I was--I was pretty floored when she said that.

PEGGY: You, um, certainly did a courageous thing

to give her life

and to go through what you did.

Did you feel comforted that you had made a good decision?

But with the diagnosis at birth, Deborah,

it was something that you really didn't feel

you could give her what she needed.

Right. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Sure, that's a,

that's a heavy secret to be carrying

all those years, you know.

And I carried it.

I know, I know.

The reports and pictures

that you were sending every year,

I do have all those because your--

the Burts had been sending you something every year

hoping that you'd be... receiving those.

And I wanted to give you those today.

I'll just put them all in an envelope for you.

There was one every year,

pictures of Angela growing up,

through all the different ages, growing up.

Yeah, things you could have had,

but we just didn't-- I'm so sorry.

We didn't have any way of getting them to you,

you know.

I think this would have given you

a lot of comfort

because obviously they were thinking about you

each step of the way and wanting you to know

how well she was doing

and what a good thing you had done, you know.

We always hoped that she would some day come into the office

and pick these items up.

But I never in my wildest dreams

thought that I would be sitting there

and watch her open them up.

It was just unbelievable.

And to watch her and to know

that she was always wondering where Angela was

and what she looked like and what she was doing.

Well, it's a Christmas card,

but it's still Christmas in July today.

Ha ha!

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, my...

Oh, my lord.

We just sent you pictures.

Oh, man, I love it. I love it.

I'm gonna have to read all of this.

I got a lot of reading to do.

You do.

PEGGY: Did you have any other questions for me

or anything I can try to answer for you

or try to help you with?

Any of you?

Yes. Yes, she was.

Um, I do have something in the record

I can share with you.

I--Would you like me to do that privately?

No. I consider these people my family

because they've raised her.

Ok, ok.

This is your support system, too.

Ok. Yes, ma'am.

I'll just read some of these.

In 1984,

you placed an infant, a baby girl Johnson,

with one of our adoptive families,

and it gives their name.

I can't share that with you today.

She's very loved by them

and they continue to rejoice with the Lord

for his good gifts.

But they continue to struggle with some of her needs.

She has been diagnosed with severe depression

and possible mental retardation.

Now, I don't know if all this is accurate today

because this was back in '96, you know.

Well, I think the first step

would be for me to contact the worker

at that office

and see what they have in the record there

and if they have any way of contacting the family

to let them know that you'd like to have--

make a contact, you know.

And then we'll just have to see where that goes.

Yeah.

DEBORAH: I mean, it's been a journey.

It's been a journey for you,

but you know, it's been a journey for me down through the years,

but to come to this point right here,

it's just-- it's nothing I can say.

There's no words.

There's absolutely no words.

I owe you all a debt

that I'll never be able to pay.

Good to have met you, Deborah.

Good to meet you all.

I'm gonna-- You're gonna hear from me.

MAN: ♪ As we gather round the table ♪

♪ to say a prayer for those we love ♪

♪ All the words that will be spoken ♪

♪ will never be enough ♪

♪ to encompass all the feelings... ♪

It feels unreal that she's gonna be in Seattle.

Just a couple of years ago,

I didn't even know if she was alive

or what she was like

or if she would ever want to know me.

MAN: ♪ ...is an honest song ♪

♪ Our hearts sing an honest song ♪

You don't actually end it like, I stare at her.

MAN: ♪ ...catching raindrops ♪

♪ All the time we've spent... ♪

ANGELA: How are we different?

What kind of faces does she make?

MAN: ♪ ...never see again ♪

♪ So be good with what you're given ♪

♪ for it's all you have to give ♪

♪ We are only passing shadows in a might wind ♪

♪ And the sound it makes... ♪

DEBORAH: Down through the years I wondered

how she was, where she was, if she was cared for,

could I have taken care of her any better than they're doing?

There's no way I could have taken care of her any better.

I see that now.

I couldn't have done it.

I talked to God about it, and he said it was gonna be ok.

Believe me, I've talked to him, I've cried to him,

I've screamed to him.

I locked myself in and never came out.

And He moved me, and He decided that it was time for me

to stop hiding in a shell.

So you watch how God works his miracles.

MAN: ♪ You wear these chains ♪

♪ You've got rhythm in your step ♪

♪ and you jingle while you walk ♪

♪ and so you sing ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Your world was dark ♪

Through a child one day, we all got connected

whether we knew it or not.

We were connected whether we knew it or not.

And for the rest of my life, I'll be connected.

MAN: ♪ And break these chains ♪

♪ Your cup ran dry ♪

♪ Though it wasn't yet my time ♪

♪ Where I'll walk and what I'll calm I'll turn to wine ♪

♪ You gave what you had ♪

♪ Though impossible it seemed we broke bread and fed them all ♪

♪ So take and eat ♪

♪ And break these chains ♪

♪ And break these chains ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ And break these chains ♪