Original subtitles

Good call pulling over here, Noah.

The Shop 'n Squat is like the Taj Mahal of rest stops.

Hey, you guys think Parker is going to miss the xenon flash lamp?

It's not one of the four paintings of his face,

I think you're good.

I'm borrowing it for my MIT Invent-a-thon submission.

It's a short-range, focused-photon beam

housed inside an everyday stylus.

No earthly idea what you're talking about,

but it sounds... [FAKE SNORES]

It's a laser pen that can cut through any matter on earth.

Pretty cool. I snore corrected.

So shall we hit the road?

What's the rush?

You should check out this rest stop.

There's a guy that gives out towels

after you wash your hands.

They're paper, but it still feels classy.

Sammy's been around forever.

He's smelled some things.

How did you know his name is Sammy?

Uh, just a lucky guess.

Wait a minute. This is your hometown.

I totally forgot.

We should stop and meet your parents.

I love to put a face to a camp tuition check.

I'd like to meet them, too.

I can finally dig into your backstory, Matteo.

Your social media presence

leaves a lot to the imagination.

I don't know.

They're probably too busy with work to hang out anyways.

And, Lou, I know how excited you are to get to the farm.

The farm isn't going anywhere.

Least not until the next mudslide season.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Thanks for saying yes to serving breakfast on the lawn, Parker.

The ants made me realize why we shouldn't,

but we're all learning together.

It's the least I could do.

I know my time as camp director got off to a rocky start.

I made him think Matteo got stuck in another dimension.

So much goo.

Wait, the guy in charge of keeping us alive was tricked by Finn?

We're all gonna die.

Don't worry.

Parker may be in charge of the camp,

but after Matteo-gate,

Lou put me in charge of him.

Which is totally unnecessary.

Okay? By the time Lou comes back,

I am going to be the most popular, beloved,

and popular camp director ever.

Did I mention popular?

Well, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Popular,

the pepper on my eggs is walking away with my bacon.

Yo, Parker!

Breakfast was sick!

Because it was awesome or because you ate some ants?

[CHUCKLES] Both.

Hey, can I use the old high-dive down by the lake?

Wasn't it condemned?

Well, I don't know what condemned means.

But I'm talking about the one with the pretty yellow tape

that says caution on it.

Oh, uh, well, I'm not sure...

How we went all summer without using it.

Get after it, bro.

Yes! Thanks, Parker.

This dive is going to be sick.

The lake's not gonna know what hit it,

but it's gonna be this face!

Wait. This is where your parents work?

Where are all the science-y things?

Hi-yah!

Matty-pants?

Hey, Mamae.

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

Wait, that's your mom?

I always figured your parents had megahertz power,

not "ow, it hurts" power.

Matty, what a wonderful surprise.

And you brought guests.

Oh, welcome to our family's jujitsu gym.

Um, Mamae, this is Lou and Noah.

And, guys, this is my mom, Sensei Silva.

Call me Carina. Matteo's told me so much about you.

Noah, I hear you're an actor. Been in anything I've seen?

Nope, I'm wildly unsuccessful, thanks for asking!

And, Lou, it's such a pleasure to finally meet

Matteo's camp director.

It's so nice to finally meet the butt-kicking woman from my vision board!

I can't wait to visit with you,

but I have to teach one last class

before tonight's belt promotion ceremony.

Ah, what a shame we'll miss all that,

but we have to be on our way. Right, guys?

Leave so soon? But you just got here.

Are you sure you can't stick around

and take a lesson with my students?

I'd love to.

Jujitsu will really round out my stage combat skills.

All I'm currently certified in is slap-fighting.

And I want to become a one-woman wrecking ball, like your mom.

Those possums have stolen their last honey-baked ham from me.

Uh, I'll sit this one out.

I'm, uh, not feeling great.

I ate an all Shop 'n Squat lunch.

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, but good call.

We don't want anyone throwing up while they're throwing down.

Now, if you two could sign some waivers,

I'll go grab your gis.

Hope everyone here okay with the sight of their own blood?

Hey, Zachary. How was the high dive?

Nuts, man.

My life flashed before my eyes,

and if I wasn't me, I'd wanna be.

What'd you do?

Swan dive, back flip, jack knife?

Oh, get this.

I broke off an epic quarter turn full-body

parallel entry.

You know, a belly flop.

That's what that sound was?

We thought a truck backfired on the highway.

I thought I was gonna do a cannonball,

but this was way more legendary.

I made my mark on this camp

just like the lake made its mark on my belly.

Permanently. [LAUGHS]

Did you see what I just saw?

Uh, no.

They're your eyes.

Zachary just became a Camp Kikiwaka legend.

Like Christina Ross, or Lou, or Darryl S. Moore, who invented the s'more.

BOTH: Mallowed be his name.

Summer's almost over.

We need to start thinking about our legacy around here

and with Permissive Parker in charge,

now is the perfect time.

We just have to come up with something legendary to do.

I got it. Porcupine jousting!

Okay. Are we riding the porcupines...

Wait, why am I asking? We're not doing that!

Oh, Ava. What do you think my sash? It's gonna say,

"a beloved leader." Too much?

Not enough?

Did you know Zachary did a belly flop

off the high-dive so hard

that he can't talk right anymore?

I think that's just the way he sounds.

Why didn't you just tell him no?

I can't tell the campers "no."

They love me for saying yes.

On a related note, tonight's dinner, spaghetti and malt balls.

Look, you need to say no to them sometimes.

It's how you keep them safe.

It's your job.

Okay, we're gonna practice.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[IMITATES ZACHARY] What up, I'm Zachary from Coyote Cabin.

Is it okay if I skate down a ramp and through a ring of fire?

Absolutely!

-No! -I'll get the lighter fluid.

Just say no.

Or better idea.

You be the one to shut down the kids' bad ideas,

and I'll be the one they remember fondly into adulthood,

and they'll ask me to walk them down the aisle

when they have a falling out with their dad.

Well, normally, I'd say no to being the one to say no,

but I do love saying no, so yes.

Great. See, now everyone's a happy camper.

Whoa! I totally get that phrase now.

Okay, you two, let's see those heel hooks in action.

Cut!

What is it now?

You are embarrassing me in front of Matteo's cool mom.

Sorry, Lou, but I'm not feeling my motivation to fight.

My character is a soft-hearted ambulance driver,

and yours is a misunderstood anti-hero.

We shouldn't be fighting.

We should be feeling.

Noah, fights don't have characters.

And the only thing that you should be feeling

is your opponent's head in your armpit.

Pro tip. If you don't wear deodorant, they pass out faster.

No, I cannot continue this life of constant warfare.

It's time for this ole cowpoke to hang up his chaps.

What genre is this?

Well, Lou, you still need an opponent.

Matty, why don't you come help us out?

Uh, that's all right.

Uh, I'm really enjoying this bench.

Is it reclaimed pine?

Wow! [CHUCKLES]

And that's okay.

We all love Matteo for the delicate flower he is.

[CHUCKLES] There are no delicate flowers in a dojo.

Come on, Matty.

Don't worry, Matty.

I promise, I'll go easy on...

You.

Who is this boy?

And what has he done with my delicate flower?

Nice sash, Parker.

Game recognize game.

Thanks. What're you guys up to?

Nothing much. Just setting up this fuse that goes down

to a canoe we filled with all the fireworks Lou's confiscated.

That's cool with you, right?

Uh...

Ava! Come see this very dangerous thing that Finn and Destiny are doing.

Quickly, please. Quickly, quickly.

Um, no.

How can you say no already?

You don't even know what we're doing.

Is that a fuse?

-Yes. -Then I know enough.

I would have said yes,

but Lou put Ava in charge of me, so we have to do what she says.

Disappointed!

Besides, aren't you guys supposed to be cleaning the mess hall right now?

But cleaning isn't legendary.

Neither is playing the fart and run game,

but that has never stopped you.

It's called squeak and streak, Ava.

And it's not a game,

it's a lifestyle.

All right.

Well, I am going to streak before you squeak.

I still don't get why we didn't just set off the fireworks earlier.

I can't keep explaining nighttime to you, Finn.

How did you flip me like that?

I'm a five-time hog wrestling champion

and you treated me,

well, like I treated those hogs.

I may have to write some apology letters.

Yeah, and you've always been so bad at, you know, the sports.

I am bad at other sports.

But Brazilian jujitsu teaches you

how to defeat a stronger, more athletic opponent

by using leverage and weight distribution against them.

Matteo's been martial arts-trained

since before he was potty trained.

You did not want to end up in one of his leg locks when his diaper was full.

We used to call it the number two necktie.

What a fun family.

Jujitsu runs in our blood,

but Matteo's on another level.

He would have earned his green belt by now,

but he's always at camp during the belt promotion ceremony.

[CHUCKLES]

Such an unfortunate coincidence.

Let's not think too hard about it.

But now that you're here, you can finally participate.

And best of all, once you earn that green belt,

you'll be certified to teach classes here.

Do you think he could teach at camp too?

It'd be great to have a self-defense class that isn't just "run."

It's finally happening, fofo.

Once you put on that green belt,

your life-long jujitsu journey begins.

And then one day, you'll be running this place.

I'm so excited.

Me too.

Me too. You were right, Matteo.

This bench is a delight!

You know who's legendary?

Whoever invented dusting with a...

[SNEEZES]

Duck butt.

Finn, look at this.

It says, "Timothy Elefont, summer of '68." Huh.

"Bethany Albert, '72."

Why is she smiling and crying?

I bet she's being tickled while watching the end of Titanic.

I wonder if there's something behind this, too.

[GASPS]

"The Wall of Flame. Dedicated to the brave campers

"who lost their taste buds in the quest to conquer

"the area's hottest pepper..."

BOTH: "The Wakapepper."

It's a secret pepper-eating challenge.

And these must be the winners.

That's it.

That's how we can become legends.

We win the Wakapepper Challenge,

but we do it in front of the whole camp.

Yes, eat your heart, Duck Butt Guy.

Is it just me, or is Matteo not into this?

What do you mean?

[SIGHS]

I see what you mean.

A perfect arm lock.

To conclude this year's ceremony,

my son is just one task away from earning his green belt.

After breaking this board,

he will be rewarded with fiercer opponents,

immense responsibility

and this coupon for 10% off at the Gi Galleria.

You okay, Matteo?

You're not the best at hiding your true emotions.

Don't worry. It's the focus of our next acting workshop.

Yeah, you're scary good at this,

but you don't seem like you're having that much fun.

That's because I'm not having fun.

I've never enjoyed jujitsu.

I mean, it's taught me a lot

and given me confidence and discipline,

but my parents want it to be my whole life.

And there are other things I want to do.

I should be calibrating the polarity of my laser right now.

You know, enjoying my childhood.

I do not. But go on.

I was so happy when I came to Camp Kikiwaka

because I didn't have to be who my parents wanted me to be.

I could be who I wanted to be. A scientist.

I finally got to write my own story.

Is that why you never told us

your body is a deadly weapon?

Yeah.

And it's why I've avoided this ceremony.

As soon as I get my green belt,

I'll have students to teach,

more competitions to win.

And next thing you know,

I'm running this gym all day, every day

instead of being a famous inventor,

like that Duck Butt Guy Finn's always talking about!

Look, Matteo, I know it's tough, but...

I think you should be honest with your mom.

She believes you like this stuff,

but I am sure she'd want to know the truth.

And "kee-yah" her right in the heart?

I'm sorry, Lou.

I'm a deadly weapon, not a monster.

Hey, guys, what's going on?

History, Parker.

Soon, Destiny and I will join

the leather-tongued legends that conquered the infamous...

BOTH: Wakapepper.

You guys name everything after this camp.

It's the hottest pepper in the region.

And if we each eat three,

we'll earn our place on the Wall of Flame.

But there's one thing standing in our way.

Thank goodness.

Only an adult can buy Wakapeppers.

So we need you to get them for us.

Oh!

Oh, don't, don't get me wrong.

I would love to help you guys,

but unfortunately,

Ava's probably gonna shut this down.

That's why we can't tell her.

Oh! Of course we can't tell Ava.

The last thing we would want

is to have... Ava come see this!

Shh! Ava's gonna hear you.

Oh, sorry.

Totally can't...

Have Ava see what's happening here!

What's going on? What's wrong?

Oh, darn!

Well, now that you're here,

I guess you should know

that Finn and Destiny wanna eat

a bunch of super duper hot Wakapeppers.

And they were so close to pulling it off!

Destiny, Finn,

you do not need to burn your insides for fun.

Our normal food already does that.

Ava, please?

I am this close to tasting immortality,

even if it's the last thing I ever taste.

Yeah, come on. Don't be such an Ava.

[SCOFFS]

Easy, Parker.

Don't worry, kids. I'm with you.

Boo, Ava! Boo, Ava!

Like I care if you boo me.

ALL: Boo, Ava! Boo, Ava!

Okay! Okay!

Now, I care!

You know what, Parker?

I'm leaving this up to you.

-Pardon? -You heard me.

This time, I'm not saying no.

But... Yes!

Let's go get those peppers.

And make sure you bring at least two forms of ID.

They are not messing around with these things.

At our dojo,

breaking a board symbolizes the beginning

of an all-consuming, life-long journey

to develop a personal style of jujitsu.

Plus, it looks really cool.

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT] So, Matteo?

Halt! Pause! Time out!

I don't know the right jujitsu word.

You could just say, "hold on a minute."

Cool, cool.

Matteo, a quick chat.

Look, I don't think you should have to wait till camp

to write your own story.

You should write it here, too.

Lou, I can't.

Yes, you can.

I know you wanna make your mom happy,

but she wants the same thing for you.

So show her who you really are.

Write your own story.

And use this pen.

Lou, this isn't a pen, it's...

Oh! Got you.

Okay, I'm ready.

Are you almost finished, Lou?

We need to hurry.

I lend the dojo to Overachievers Anonymous meetings after class

and they are very punctual.

Hey, everyone. Um, it's me.

The kid from the brochures.

You know, the green belt represents a fighter's chance

to develop his own personal style of jujitsu.

But the thing is,

jujitsu isn't really my style.

This is.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[CROWD GASPS]

[CROWD APPLAUDS]

Matty, what are you doing?

I'm sorry, sensei.

You knew this doesn't count for your belt, right?

I know.

And I'm so thankful for everything

you've taught me, Mamae.

But the truth is,

this isn't who I am.

Or what makes me happy.

I don't wanna take over the gym.

I'm a scientist, not a fighter.

Really?

I thought all that science stuff was just a phase.

Like that year, you asked us to all call you "Falcon."

I wish I told you before, but...

I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.

So... Are you?

I could never be disappointed in you, Matteo.

I'm only disappointed that I didn't know

that you felt this way.

Really?

Really.

You're my brilliant son and I love you.

And from now on,

the only unbreakable hold I care about,

is the one you have on my heart.

Aw! So,

are we going to let that "Falcon" thing go?

Oh, no way.

But let's let Mom and Falcon have their moment.

Yo!

Sick briefcase, guys! What's in it?

BOTH: Wakapeppers!

Apparently they're too hot for paper bags. [CHUCKLES]

That bodes well.

[LAUGHS]

[GAS HISSING] Oh!

Yeowch! You're gonna eat these?

Oh! Legendary!

Your inside tummy is gonna look like my outside tummy.

And my outside tummy

definitely needs medical attention.

Ava, this is dangerous.

Somebody needs to stop them.

Someone who wouldn't risk losing their really cool sash.

Then you better make sure the infirmary has extra tongue scrubbers

and maybe some extra campers.

Welcome, everyone, to the Wakapepper Challenge.

If Finn and I can eat three of these

blazing hot peppers,

we will be remembered forever

on the new prominently featured

Wall of Flame!

Yup, I should've stayed in Canada.

Now, time to get flame-ous!

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

PARKER: No!

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

Hey! Our peppers!

You ate them all!

[CAMPERS BOOING]

No more Wakapepper Challenge.

No more dangerous stunts.

No more malt balls in spaghetti!

I say no!

No, no, no!

Well, that was more dramatic than I expected.

Or was necessary.

Why did you do that?

Because it's not my job to keep you happy.

It's my job to keep you safe.

Honestly, I don't even see what the big deal is.

These peppers aren't that bad.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Oh! Oh, it's bad!

Whoo! Oh!

No, wrong move! Glitter makes it worse!

[PANTING] Oh!

Wow. That looks rough.

Thanks for stopping us.

It's my pleasure.

Oh, jeez. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Second wave. Oh!

Dance away the pain! Dance away the pain!

Well, well.

Look at the new member of the Wall of Flame.

When there's a cool breeze,

I can almost feel my tongue.

I'm proud of you, Parker.

You may have picked the dumbest way to stop the challenge,

but you still stopped it.

I'm sorry I let things get out of hand.

I tend to be a little worried

about what people think of me.

I get it.

But in the end, you did what was right

instead of what was easy.

Well, you set a great example.

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Not so great.

I did say yes to one of the things

I was supposed to stop.

[FIREWORKS IN THE DISTANCE]

Our fireworks.

They fire-worked.

Yes! We're gonna be legends.

Yeah, you are.

This is bigger than that kid that did a belly flop off the high-dive.

That was you.

Oh, it was?

Aw, man, I do not remember that!

By the way,

can you tell Lou what happened

to her fireworks for me?

No.

They grow up so fast.

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