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1
00:00:02,639 --> 00:00:04,743
JENNY:
Sarah Boone's house finally sold.
2
00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:07,616
It's so cute. I'm surprised it
was on the market for so long.
3
00:00:07,682 --> 00:00:10,487
I bet Sarah Boone's ghost
is haunting the place.
4
00:00:10,555 --> 00:00:13,561
She did die
under mysterious circumstances.
5
00:00:13,628 --> 00:00:14,863
She was 98.
6
00:00:14,930 --> 00:00:17,802
Ripped from this world
in her prime.
7
00:00:17,869 --> 00:00:19,706
98 is no one's prime.
8
00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:21,009
‐Oh, look.
‐They're here!
9
00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:23,113
‐(beeping)
‐(vehicle approaching)
10
00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:27,454
Oh, what?
11
00:00:29,458 --> 00:00:32,799
Who would tear down that
beautiful old craftsman house?
12
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,268
‐New York.
‐What?
13
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,874
Couple moving down
from New York City.
14
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:39,145
‐Whoa!
‐New York City?
15
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,648
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
16
00:00:40,715 --> 00:00:43,286
Praying to Debbie Harry
actually works. Yes!
17
00:00:43,353 --> 00:00:45,290
I wonder what
they're gonna build over there.
18
00:00:45,357 --> 00:00:46,794
Probably something with a stoop.
19
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:48,496
New Yorkers love stoops.
20
00:00:48,564 --> 00:00:50,167
I hope
they don't build a skyscraper
21
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:52,071
that'll block our prime view
of the water tower.
22
00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,373
(gasping)
23
00:00:55,545 --> 00:00:57,582
(beeping)
24
00:00:57,649 --> 00:01:01,991
Will Sarah Boone's ghost
even fit in that house?
25
00:01:02,057 --> 00:01:04,295
♪ ♪
26
00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:36,259
‐(gasps) They're here!
‐(gasps)
27
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:41,402
We may have a Stuart Little
scenario on our hands.
28
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:42,972
Let's go say hi
to our new mouse neighbors.
29
00:01:43,039 --> 00:01:45,010
JENNY:
Wait. We can't go now.
30
00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:46,680
We don't have anything
to take 'em.
31
00:01:46,747 --> 00:01:48,149
‐Damn it!
‐So?
32
00:01:48,216 --> 00:01:50,053
Violet, you can't go over
to meet new neighbors
33
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,389
without bringing
a homemade dish.
34
00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:53,894
It's the number one rule
of Southern hospitality.
35
00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:56,867
Oh, grab those little fried pies
I got at the gas station.
36
00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:58,537
Gas station pies?
37
00:01:58,604 --> 00:02:00,975
Take 'em out of the wrapper,
put fork marks on the top,
38
00:02:01,042 --> 00:02:02,244
throw 'em in a little basket,
39
00:02:02,311 --> 00:02:03,681
and cover them
with a cutesy towel.
40
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:05,050
They'll never know
the difference.
41
00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:06,687
I guess that would look nice.
42
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:08,289
Sorry, junk basket.
43
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:10,293
Oh, my Lord, that's so cute,
44
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,333
Joanna Gaines could sell it!
45
00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:18,209
Virginia, Jackie,
your order's up!
46
00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:19,813
You want me to get it?
47
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,984
‐Ugh. This place is
gonna kill me. ‐(bell dinging)
48
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:24,756
Hub, I swear to God, I'm gonna
shove that bell up your...
49
00:02:24,823 --> 00:02:26,025
(bell dinging)
50
00:02:26,092 --> 00:02:27,829
Sorry. I'm on edge.
51
00:02:27,896 --> 00:02:30,300
Did you hear
this place might be closing?
52
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,904
‐What?!
‐No way.
53
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,507
This place is the best.
54
00:02:33,574 --> 00:02:35,076
Is it 'cause of the sinkhole?
55
00:02:35,143 --> 00:02:36,980
Yup. It's spreading, too.
56
00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:40,387
I hope those people finish
their dinner real quick.
57
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,559
If the owners can't raise money
for the repairs,
58
00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:45,197
they're gonna have
to cut their losses and move in
59
00:02:45,263 --> 00:02:47,702
with their adult son
in Morehead City.
60
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:49,806
But, Meemaw,
what about your job?
61
00:02:49,873 --> 00:02:51,108
Oh, I'll find something.
62
00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:53,547
Just got to find a place
that'll put up
63
00:02:53,614 --> 00:02:55,016
with me and your Uncle Tommy.
64
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,352
(laughs)
‐Tommy! I told you,
65
00:02:56,419 --> 00:02:59,358
‐don't play near the sinkhole!
‐(cackling)
66
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:02,497
Meemaw is never gonna be able
to find another job.
67
00:03:02,565 --> 00:03:05,303
She's lucky this place will put
up with her and Uncle Tommy.
68
00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:08,878
(sighs)
I wish I could come up with the money to save this place.
69
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:10,948
Think, Wayne! Think!
70
00:03:11,015 --> 00:03:12,585
You cannot let her
lose this job.
71
00:03:12,652 --> 00:03:17,629
Think! Think! Where will I get
a bunch... of... cash?
72
00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:19,900
Uh, Wayne.
73
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,306
(cash register dings)
74
00:03:26,479 --> 00:03:28,817
Wait. This is a huge moment.
75
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:31,857
We are about to meet a couple
of real live New Yorkers.
76
00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:34,863
Oh. Do I open with a reference
to Jean‐Michel Basquiat
77
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:37,367
or lament the fact that
CBGBs became an Anthropologie?
78
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,639
Quick. Can you tell I'm cool
without caring?!
79
00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:41,977
Vi, are you having
a nervous toot?
80
00:03:42,044 --> 00:03:43,146
I am not farting.
81
00:03:43,212 --> 00:03:44,816
I'm visualizing what I want
82
00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:47,287
from our fabulous
New York neighbors.
83
00:03:47,354 --> 00:03:49,592
♪ ♪
84
00:03:49,659 --> 00:03:51,997
She's a museum curator,
85
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,468
and he's a documentarian
specializing in the synth‐based
86
00:03:54,536 --> 00:03:57,842
scores that broadened the appeal
of '70s Italian horror.
87
00:03:57,909 --> 00:03:59,746
They make a film about me
that's wordless.
88
00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:02,217
It's shown at her museum's
annual gala to rave reviews
89
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,691
in the Daily News and tepid
reviews in the New York Post.
90
00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:07,160
Vi,
that's an awful lot to expect
91
00:04:07,227 --> 00:04:08,496
just 'cause
they're from New York.
92
00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:11,168
Besides, here's what's
really gonna happen.
93
00:04:11,235 --> 00:04:13,807
He's a renowned choreographer,
94
00:04:13,874 --> 00:04:16,479
and she's a renowned
choreographer.
95
00:04:16,546 --> 00:04:18,149
They catch me doing
a simple dance move,
96
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,120
and they are blown away.
They open
97
00:04:20,186 --> 00:04:23,894
a Fame school of the arts
with me as their star pupil.
98
00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:26,098
Fame? More like lame.
99
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:27,668
Here's what I'm picturing.
100
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,308
He's a mob kingpin
and she's his hot‐ass goomah.
101
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:33,547
I teach 'em how
the game works in Greenpoint,
102
00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:37,220
and let's just say
they're very appreciative.
103
00:04:37,287 --> 00:04:39,091
Soon they're paying me tribute.
104
00:04:39,158 --> 00:04:42,330
And anyone who crosses me ends
up in the bottom of the ocean
105
00:04:42,397 --> 00:04:46,105
wearing a pair
of cement Ug‐gugs.
106
00:04:48,109 --> 00:04:50,046
Hey, hey, hey. We're whittling.
107
00:04:50,113 --> 00:04:51,783
Yes, we just took up whittling.
108
00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,954
Oh... kay.
109
00:04:59,431 --> 00:05:02,572
‐Anyway, we just... Oh!
‐MAN: Aah! My fingertip.
110
00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:06,880
Wow. I'm worse
at this than I remember.
111
00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:08,382
How can we be this bad?
112
00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:10,888
Yeah, I thought
this game was for babies.
113
00:05:10,955 --> 00:05:12,157
Oh.
114
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,527
I'm not trying to be rude.
115
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:15,063
I just actually thought
this was one of those,
116
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,434
like, learning games
for toddlers or something.
117
00:05:17,502 --> 00:05:18,604
(all groan)
118
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:20,039
I mean, it's holes
and beanbags.
119
00:05:20,106 --> 00:05:22,678
How much skill does it take?
120
00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:27,722
I shouldn't tell y'all this,
but I know a legendary
121
00:05:27,788 --> 00:05:30,561
cornhole guy can teach you.
122
00:05:31,128 --> 00:05:33,032
But he gave up holing years ago,
123
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:36,438
and he's real reluctant
to come out of retirement.
124
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,981
Wait. Is it you?
125
00:05:41,048 --> 00:05:42,618
No.
126
00:05:43,587 --> 00:05:45,624
He doesn't live far from here,
127
00:05:45,691 --> 00:05:47,528
but I can't say anything else.
128
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:48,997
Don't make me.
129
00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:50,801
Okay, we won't.
130
00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:53,540
Are you deaf?
I said he likes his privacy.
131
00:05:53,607 --> 00:05:55,544
Here's his address.
132
00:05:55,611 --> 00:05:56,780
It's walkable.
133
00:05:56,846 --> 00:05:59,686
‐But leave him alone!
‐(grunts)
134
00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,457
(door closes)
135
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,965
Uh, you sure
you don't want a Band‐Aid?
136
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:07,568
Oh, no, we don't do anything
single‐use.
137
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,106
We only generate a third
of a cup of garbage a day.
138
00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:12,778
Well, now that we've found
your fingertip, I'm Jenny,
139
00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:15,083
and this is my mom Betty
and my daughter Violet.
140
00:06:15,149 --> 00:06:16,452
We just came by to say hi.
141
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:18,957
Oh, my God, that is so Southern.
Sam, did you hear?
142
00:06:19,024 --> 00:06:22,497
(Southern accent):
We just came by to say hi.
143
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,201
It is so precious.
144
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:25,671
(Southern accent):
Hi, you'ins.
145
00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,440
Huh. Is that what I sound like?
146
00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:29,679
(normal voice):
Uh, you know, I think it's "y'all," not "you'ins,"
147
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:31,015
so wouldn't it be, um...
148
00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:33,954
"I don't sou‐yund
like tha‐yut, y'all"?
149
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:36,860
I don't sou‐yund like tha‐yut,
y'all.
150
00:06:36,926 --> 00:06:38,229
‐I don't sou‐yund like tha‐yut.
‐You'ins. No.
151
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,866
‐Y'all. Y'all.
‐Is it "y'all"?
152
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:42,037
‐You know what?
You place it in the jaw. ‐VIOLET: Where do you
153
00:06:42,103 --> 00:06:44,441
‐keep your record collection?
‐She's been really excited
154
00:06:44,509 --> 00:06:46,345
about New Yorkers moving in.
We all have.
155
00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:48,784
‐We were done with New York.
‐So done.
156
00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:49,852
Wh‐Wh‐Why?
157
00:06:49,919 --> 00:06:52,257
‐It's all so corporate.
‐Congested.
158
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,361
‐Plastic.
‐Crate and Barrel.
159
00:06:54,428 --> 00:06:57,000
Yes. That's good.
Plastic. So sick of it.
160
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,670
(Violet gasps loudly)
161
00:06:58,737 --> 00:07:00,373
Oh. I almost forgot,
we brought you these.
162
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:03,079
Look at this.
What are these‐‐ little...
163
00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:06,085
‐(Southern accent): pies?
‐They are. Oh, my God.
164
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:08,523
‐Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
‐Mmm. Mmm.
165
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:11,028
Sam, you know who would love
these? Hadassah and Tony.
166
00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:14,468
Oh, my God, yes. That's Hadassah
Singh and Tony LaBianci,
167
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,504
our neighbors from 4G.
168
00:07:15,571 --> 00:07:18,442
He's a documentarian,
she's a museum curator.
169
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,579
Oh, come on.
170
00:07:19,645 --> 00:07:20,981
And Trudie and Rodrick.
171
00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:22,752
Trudie Hadid
and Rodrick Feinstein.
172
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,622
They teach at the, uh,
LaGuardia School.
173
00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,024
You know, the Fame school?
174
00:07:26,091 --> 00:07:28,129
They almost moved down here,
too, to find new talent,
175
00:07:28,195 --> 00:07:29,131
but we talked them out of it.
176
00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:30,601
Oh, you're kidding me.
177
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,237
Oh, also, our friend Big Paulie.
178
00:07:32,303 --> 00:07:35,744
He‐He's in sanitation, but we
all know what that means. Wink!
179
00:07:35,811 --> 00:07:37,882
‐Unbelievable.
‐Lucky you'ins.
180
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,954
Looks like
y'all are stuck with us.
181
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,827
Oh, my finger just fell off.
Sam?
182
00:07:43,894 --> 00:07:45,898
Sam?!
183
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:48,302
♪ ♪
184
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:54,782
Let's see what this cornhole
Mr. Miyagi's all about.
185
00:07:55,784 --> 00:07:58,623
Go away!
186
00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:01,261
(muffled):
Uh, try knocking again.
187
00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:03,499
Oh, for Pete's sake.
188
00:08:04,602 --> 00:08:07,273
Fine!
Since you refuse to leave,
189
00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:09,745
I have no choice
but to train you.
190
00:08:13,352 --> 00:08:16,024
Hello. Leslie and Sam.
191
00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:19,364
‐(doorbell rings repeatedly)
‐Good Lord!
192
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,235
Hello?
193
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,738
(doorbell rings repeatedly)
194
00:08:22,805 --> 00:08:24,575
Well, howdy, y'all.
195
00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:26,679
Is the emphasis
on the "yah" or the "all"?
196
00:08:26,746 --> 00:08:29,685
‐It's just one syllable less.
Y'all. ‐Yah‐all.
197
00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:31,455
Y'all. Just... y'all.
198
00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:35,062
We just wanted to stop by and
thank you again for those pies.
199
00:08:35,129 --> 00:08:37,935
We could taste generations
of Southern tradition.
200
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:39,204
So authentic.
201
00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:41,375
We want to send some
to our friends back in New York.
202
00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:46,084
Could we possibly maybe ask you
to make a few more?
203
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,821
‐Oh, gosh. I don't know.
‐I don't think so.
204
00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:52,363
We would pay you, of course.
How's 20 bucks for a pie?
205
00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:58,309
Well, howdily doodily, and
a possum on a length of rope.
206
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:01,248
We'd be much obliged, y'all!
207
00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:08,797
Violet, hand me that old pie.
208
00:09:08,863 --> 00:09:12,136
You guys, are we really
doing this? Plagiarizing food?
209
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,076
Violet, hush.
This is grown‐up business.
210
00:09:15,142 --> 00:09:17,548
‐Oh, hell no!
‐Release that pie, virgin!
211
00:09:17,615 --> 00:09:19,619
(whimpering)
212
00:09:21,488 --> 00:09:23,359
BETTY:
The game was perfect.
213
00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,530
Jenny and I hit
every gas station
214
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,367
from Greenpoint to Charlotte.
215
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:32,310
Word started to spread,
and the money came rolling in.
216
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:36,184
And then we hit the jackpot.
217
00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:37,554
(doorbell rings repeatedly)
218
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,825
Great news.
Your pies have made us famous.
219
00:09:39,892 --> 00:09:43,298
We convinced New York Times
food critic Alan Thatt
220
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,572
to come here in person
to do an entire spread about us
221
00:09:46,639 --> 00:09:49,077
and you and your pies
that we discovered.
222
00:09:49,144 --> 00:09:50,947
This is huge.
223
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:56,091
Feel the bag,
its character.
224
00:09:56,158 --> 00:10:00,332
How it sags,
how it spills over the side.
225
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,638
Cradle the bag.
226
00:10:02,705 --> 00:10:04,642
Adjust the bag.
227
00:10:04,709 --> 00:10:06,779
Become one with the bag.
228
00:10:06,846 --> 00:10:08,616
That's excellent, Wayne.
229
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:11,254
N‐N‐Now, now hold Travis's bag.
230
00:10:11,321 --> 00:10:13,459
How are your bags different?
231
00:10:13,526 --> 00:10:16,231
‐N‐Now, Travis,
hold Wayne's bag again. ‐WAYNE: I'm sorry.
232
00:10:16,298 --> 00:10:18,837
Is this gonna be all about
cupping each other's bags?
233
00:10:18,903 --> 00:10:21,341
When do we get to the holes?
234
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:24,815
(buzzing)
235
00:10:24,882 --> 00:10:27,186
There. A hole. May we proceed?
236
00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:30,292
Um, Houston,
we're gonna need a bigger hole.
237
00:10:30,359 --> 00:10:33,833
You don't think that hole's
big enough? Interesting.
238
00:10:41,448 --> 00:10:43,085
(both exclaim)
239
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:50,432
♪ Cornhole ♪
240
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:54,942
♪ Get in the game,
sink in that sack ♪
241
00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:58,015
♪ If you fall down,
then you climb right back ♪
242
00:10:58,081 --> 00:10:59,184
♪ Eyes on the prize,
get in the hole ♪
243
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:06,599
♪ Don't you back down
till you reach that goal ♪
244
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,870
♪ 'Cause
it's a cornhole journey ♪
245
00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:13,646
♪ There's only winners
and the losers on gurneys ♪
246
00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:16,853
♪ Yeah,
it's a cornhole journey ♪
247
00:11:16,919 --> 00:11:21,762
♪ Don't mess around,
'cause that mess ain't furny ♪
248
00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:24,200
♪ Yeah! ♪
249
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:27,306
‐You. You. You're the man.
‐No, man, that's you, man, all you.
250
00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:29,444
‐No, no. You. You the man.
‐Stop, stop.
251
00:11:29,511 --> 00:11:32,918
This is the final lesson:
you never celebrate.
252
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,289
Victory goes to the humble.
253
00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:37,159
Ad nu lapa crionis.
254
00:11:37,226 --> 00:11:39,397
That's the most important rule.
255
00:11:39,464 --> 00:11:40,867
Now we do it all again...
256
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,372
‐but wetter.
‐(Wayne and Travis shout)
257
00:11:43,438 --> 00:11:45,109
Whoa.
258
00:11:46,378 --> 00:11:48,348
Why does it look
like a Cracker Barrel
259
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,618
exploded in our house?
260
00:11:49,685 --> 00:11:52,256
Because we have
to look the part, Vi.
261
00:11:52,323 --> 00:11:55,129
Exactly.
Jenny 'N Betty's Sweet‐Hart Pies
262
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:57,801
are made by America's darlings,
the Hart Sisters...
263
00:11:57,868 --> 00:12:00,640
In their adorably cluttered
Southern home,
264
00:12:00,707 --> 00:12:02,276
where the old ways live on
265
00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:05,249
and the younger,
hotter sister Betty
266
00:12:05,316 --> 00:12:07,219
often plays the banjo.
267
00:12:07,286 --> 00:12:08,288
What the...? No way.
268
00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:10,225
You're perpetuating
the stereotype
269
00:12:10,292 --> 00:12:12,864
of the dumb, simple Southerner.
I'm out.
270
00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:15,537
Shut up and put this on,
or I'm gonna tan your hide.
271
00:12:15,603 --> 00:12:18,041
‐(groans)
‐(doorbell ringing)
272
00:12:18,108 --> 00:12:19,377
(Betty and Jenny squeal)
273
00:12:20,012 --> 00:12:23,385
Hey, y'all. Well,
bless my stars, and I might die.
274
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,389
Come on in. Alan Thatt,
275
00:12:25,456 --> 00:12:27,293
as I live and breathe.
276
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,698
And this here is my daughter
Violet.
277
00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:33,906
Violet, why don't you give
these lovely folks a chin‐wag?
278
00:12:33,973 --> 00:12:36,277
‐Howdy.
‐Oh!
279
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:39,183
Look‐a‐look who's here.
Good night, I reckon.
280
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:43,158
♪ Well, lemme tell you a little
story 'bout a gal named Betty ♪
281
00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:44,695
♪ In case you haven't guessed ♪
282
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,231
‐♪ That's me ♪
‐(all gasp)
283
00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:49,003
♪ Taught about bakin'
from a little old lady ♪
284
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,107
♪ Yep, that was
my grammy so sweet ♪
285
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:53,780
♪ But, of course, soon enough,
some hookers got jealous ♪
286
00:12:53,846 --> 00:12:56,786
♪ 'Cause I kept feeding
all the hungry, hot fellas ♪
287
00:12:56,852 --> 00:13:00,325
♪ They tried to take me down,
but they couldn't compete ♪
288
00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:03,398
♪ With my flaky hot pie
and my juicy butt meats ♪
289
00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:08,375
♪ Now here's a list
of my ugly enemies ♪
290
00:13:08,442 --> 00:13:10,513
‐Mother, Mother, Mother!
‐♪ There's Crystalynn and Bobbie Nell ♪
291
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:12,617
♪ And Clara from Quiznos
and Stephanie from Quiznos ♪
292
00:13:12,684 --> 00:13:15,055
♪ And this lady at Kohl's
who won't honor my coupons ♪
293
00:13:15,122 --> 00:13:18,796
♪ I hope she dies
of genital herpes. ♪
294
00:13:18,863 --> 00:13:20,567
‐Mother!
‐That was wonderful.
295
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,105
I am in awe. Thank you, Betty.
296
00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:24,474
VIOLET:
Hey, Alan,
297
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:26,612
I got a great idee
while I was skipping frogs
298
00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:28,148
out on yonder creek.
299
00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:31,856
Y'all should get some photos
of Ma and Gram actually making
300
00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,191
them there pies.
301
00:13:33,258 --> 00:13:35,763
I love that. We'll capture them
302
00:13:35,830 --> 00:13:38,603
in their stupidly simple
country kitchen.
303
00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:45,415
♪ ♪
304
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,587
‐(cheering and applause)
‐Hi. I'm Joe Buck
305
00:13:47,654 --> 00:13:48,890
here with Erin Andrews,
306
00:13:48,956 --> 00:13:51,896
and we are literally
being forced to do this.
307
00:13:51,962 --> 00:13:54,100
That's right, Joe.
Well, the boards are waxed,
308
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,537
and the bags have been weighed.
309
00:13:55,603 --> 00:13:59,110
Our teams today represent bars
all over North Carolina.
310
00:13:59,177 --> 00:14:02,784
JOE: We've got the team from
It's Vine O'Clock Somewhere,
311
00:14:02,851 --> 00:14:06,491
Mary Elizabeth Covington's
Cigar Emporium,
312
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,461
Unz‐Unz Nightclub,
313
00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:11,502
and newcomers this year,
playing to save their bar,
314
00:14:11,569 --> 00:14:13,405
the team from Tipsy River.
315
00:14:13,471 --> 00:14:15,710
I thought Tipsy River
got eaten by a sinkhole.
316
00:14:15,777 --> 00:14:17,179
Only most of it, Erin.
317
00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:19,818
And I'm so sad that I know that.
318
00:14:19,885 --> 00:14:23,559
And there's the dangerous
indoor starting gun.
319
00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:24,895
(cheering and applause)
320
00:14:24,962 --> 00:14:26,932
♪ ♪
321
00:14:30,873 --> 00:14:32,076
(cheering)
322
00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:35,249
(groaning)
323
00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:39,090
(cheering)
324
00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:45,503
‐You are unbeatable.
All you, bro. ‐No, you are, bro.
325
00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:47,106
You're a beast.
326
00:14:51,882 --> 00:14:52,884
(cheering)
327
00:14:52,951 --> 00:14:54,688
‐Yeah! Yeah!
‐Yeah! Yeah!
328
00:14:54,755 --> 00:14:55,957
‐Yeah!
‐Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
329
00:14:56,024 --> 00:14:57,694
Remember,
the humbler the warrior,
330
00:14:57,761 --> 00:14:59,531
the greater the victory.
331
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:01,635
Don't let your confidence
sink your chances
332
00:15:01,702 --> 00:15:03,171
into the hole of hubris.
333
00:15:03,238 --> 00:15:06,411
Est non libre don carta brevis.
334
00:15:06,477 --> 00:15:07,914
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
335
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,185
♪ ♪
336
00:15:13,726 --> 00:15:15,195
(crowd gasps)
337
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,705
(cheering and applause)
338
00:15:19,771 --> 00:15:21,809
(both cheer in slow motion)
339
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:22,877
(cracks)
340
00:15:22,944 --> 00:15:25,650
Oh, my hand! My throwing hand.
341
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:28,388
Pride cometh before the fall.
342
00:15:28,455 --> 00:15:30,993
Oh, and who was it that said,
"Mark my words,
343
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,264
we'll never need medics
at a cornhole tourney"?
344
00:15:33,331 --> 00:15:34,735
Was that you, Joe Buck?
345
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,972
(laughs)
That was me, Erin.
346
00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:39,110
I have no idea
how to make a friggin' pie.
347
00:15:39,176 --> 00:15:40,513
Who do I look like, P. F. Chang?
348
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:43,786
Yeah, and who am I?
Gordon Ramses?
349
00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:49,598
Well, okay, then.
I guess we should...
350
00:15:49,664 --> 00:15:51,602
‐...start...
‐...with...
351
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:53,338
...a prayer.
352
00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:56,144
Yes. Everyone, close your eyes.
353
00:15:57,012 --> 00:15:58,481
(both muttering)
354
00:15:58,549 --> 00:15:59,618
Dear Lord,
355
00:15:59,684 --> 00:16:02,389
way up high in the sky,
356
00:16:02,456 --> 00:16:07,499
not even a speck
to the naked eye,
357
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,136
show us
358
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:12,577
the miracle of pie.
359
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:13,579
And, Lord...
360
00:16:13,646 --> 00:16:14,815
‐Amen.
‐(growls)
361
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:17,219
I'm just gonna look
for a pie dish.
362
00:16:17,787 --> 00:16:19,356
(groans)
Thanks, Violet.
363
00:16:19,423 --> 00:16:20,860
(chuckles)
Ah, well, you know what?
364
00:16:20,927 --> 00:16:22,931
I can't find
my lucky rolling pin.
365
00:16:22,997 --> 00:16:23,999
Here it is.
366
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,837
Thank you.
367
00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:30,078
Oh, no.
We're completely out of flour.
368
00:16:30,813 --> 00:16:33,552
Mother, let's just do this.
How hard can it be?
369
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:36,290
BETTY:
Perfect. Now we let it cool.
370
00:16:36,357 --> 00:16:38,662
And once we break off the char,
the inside pie
371
00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,600
is gonna be a taste of heaven.
(chuckles)
372
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,770
You know you got a good pie
when you got to get through
373
00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:45,041
a big ole chunk of char.
374
00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:46,645
Guys, just fess up.
375
00:16:46,712 --> 00:16:49,183
Okay, Vi. You're right.
376
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,356
Here's the truth.
The God's honest truth.
377
00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:55,262
And the truth is...
(sighs)
378
00:16:55,328 --> 00:16:57,600
(exhales)
We're blind.
379
00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:00,907
Mother, we don't have
to pretend no more.
380
00:17:00,973 --> 00:17:02,777
You are so brave for saying it.
381
00:17:02,844 --> 00:17:05,583
Let me feel your perfect smile.
382
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,352
Just tell them.
383
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:10,893
Fine! We buy these pies
at a gas station.
384
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,396
‐(all gasp)
‐What am I, a debutante?
385
00:17:12,462 --> 00:17:15,468
At home eating bonbons while
my husband works on Wall Street?
386
00:17:15,536 --> 00:17:16,905
We don't have
all the time in the world
387
00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:18,174
to learn how to make pies.
388
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:19,878
Y'all got so much time,
you even write
389
00:17:19,945 --> 00:17:21,782
about other people making pies.
390
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:23,886
What kind of New York crap
is that?
391
00:17:23,953 --> 00:17:26,525
You fed us pies
from a gas station?
392
00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:29,598
‐But you liked 'em.
‐Yeah, we saw it. You liked 'em.
393
00:17:29,664 --> 00:17:32,235
You dragged me down to
this humid dog patch of a town
394
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,075
so that I could eat
mass‐produced gas station pies?
395
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:38,081
You're gonna make me look
like a fraud.
396
00:17:38,147 --> 00:17:40,118
As they say in New York,
397
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:43,391
hey, I'm crying here.
398
00:17:43,993 --> 00:17:46,898
You country‐ass bastards.
399
00:17:49,638 --> 00:17:50,706
Guys, wait. Hang on.
400
00:17:50,773 --> 00:17:52,442
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
401
00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:55,716
You two are just a couple
big old tubs of Country Crock,
402
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,718
y'all.
403
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,221
Yeah, we thought
you were real Southerners
404
00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,860
like in the documentary
Steel Magnolias.
405
00:18:00,926 --> 00:18:02,262
That's not a documentary.
406
00:18:02,329 --> 00:18:04,734
‐You're frauds, "yawl."
‐(gasps)
407
00:18:04,801 --> 00:18:07,339
You're not saying it right.
408
00:18:07,406 --> 00:18:10,913
Well, apparently, you're not
saying it right, either, "yawl."
409
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,950
‐It's "y'all."
‐"Yawl."
410
00:18:13,017 --> 00:18:14,453
‐"Y'all"! Just "y'all"!
‐SAM: "Yawl."
411
00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:15,956
"Yawl."
I know how to say it. "Yawl."
412
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:17,593
‐No, you don't, y'all.
‐"Yawl."
413
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,063
‐"Y'all"!
‐"Yawl."
414
00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:20,900
"Y'all."
415
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,874
(both laughing)
416
00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:29,116
My mom was
a single working mother.
417
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:30,653
We didn't have time
to make pies.
418
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,724
I grew up
on boxed macaroni and cheese
419
00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:33,959
and French bread pizzas.
420
00:18:34,026 --> 00:18:36,998
Can I tell you something?
I love a French bread pizza.
421
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:38,902
I used to put
boxed macaroni and cheese
422
00:18:38,969 --> 00:18:40,371
on the French bread pizza.
423
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:42,309
Don't tell Alan Thatt.
424
00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:44,781
(Sam and Jenny laughing)
425
00:18:46,852 --> 00:18:49,289
♪ ♪
426
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,199
I can't let Meemaw down.
427
00:18:57,239 --> 00:18:58,776
Give me a bag.
428
00:18:58,842 --> 00:19:00,044
I'll throw goofy‐handed.
429
00:19:00,111 --> 00:19:01,748
‐(cheering and applause)
‐TED: Wayne,
430
00:19:01,815 --> 00:19:03,886
you've shown your mettle.
431
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:06,725
I want you to use my bags
432
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:08,194
for your final throw.
433
00:19:08,261 --> 00:19:11,300
I've never let another man
handle my bag.
434
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:14,874
Wayne Edwards throwing lefty now
for the final hole,
435
00:19:14,941 --> 00:19:18,481
the famed Hole of Glory.
436
00:19:27,265 --> 00:19:31,073
TED:
Let the hole swallow the bag.
437
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:34,413
♪ ♪
438
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,337
(cheering)
439
00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:47,940
Do you believe in miracles?
440
00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:49,644
JOE:
That's been used, Erin.
441
00:19:49,711 --> 00:19:52,683
But I don't believe
what I just saw.
442
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,988
That's my grandson.
443
00:19:55,054 --> 00:19:57,660
Thank you, baby.
Tipsy River's saved!
444
00:19:57,727 --> 00:20:01,000
I can keep working
until I die of old age.
445
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,538
(Uncle Tommy laughs)
446
00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:19,737
Mmm, yum, yum!
447
00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:22,877
What is that?! Mmm.
448
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:24,747
(cheering)
449
00:20:24,814 --> 00:20:26,851
Is this his first time
eating food?
450
00:20:26,918 --> 00:20:29,456
This restaurant
will receive my highest rating.
451
00:20:29,524 --> 00:20:31,226
The Last Supper is...
452
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:32,395
All Thatt.
453
00:20:32,462 --> 00:20:35,301
It's a sticker
for your front window.
454
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,838
I love it.
455
00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:40,111
Sam, Leslie,
all of New York is gonna know
456
00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:42,048
‐about your special find.
‐Thanks...
457
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,453
‐y'all?
‐You got it right.
458
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,292
‐♪ Well ♪
‐♪ Well ♪
459
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,998
♪ Lemme tell you a li'l story
'bout a gal named Betty ♪
460
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:52,837
‐♪ In case you haven't guessed,
that's me ♪ ‐♪ That's her ♪
461
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,676
♪ She was taught about baking
from a little old lady ♪
462
00:20:55,743 --> 00:20:58,515
‐♪ Yes, it was
my grammy so sweet ♪ ‐♪ So sweet. ♪
463
00:21:03,925 --> 00:21:06,598
(grunts)
464
00:21:07,198 --> 00:21:09,804
♪ But, of course, soon enough,
some hookers got jealous ♪
465
00:21:09,871 --> 00:21:12,576
♪ 'Cause I kept feeding
all the hungry, hot fellas ♪
466
00:21:12,643 --> 00:21:15,114
♪ They tried to take you down,
but they couldn't compete ♪
467
00:21:15,181 --> 00:21:18,087
♪ With your flaky hot pie
and your juicy butt meats ♪
468
00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:21,861
♪ Now let me tell ya about
some real dummies who suck ♪
469
00:21:21,928 --> 00:21:25,268
LESLIE: ♪ They're just bitter,
they're saggy dump trucks ♪
470
00:21:25,334 --> 00:21:28,107
BETTY: ♪ There's Crystalynn,
who's dry as the Sahara ♪
471
00:21:28,174 --> 00:21:31,080
LESLIE: ♪ And Bobbie Nell
and this bitch named Clara. ♪
472
00:21:31,146 --> 00:21:32,883
‐(meows)
‐(horn honks musically)
473
00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,787
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
474
00:21:34,854 --> 00:21:36,558
and TOYOTA.
475
00:21:36,608 --> 00:21:41,158
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