Original subtitles

KIRT: Yo, are you here for the girl sesh?

-I guess. -See, I told you. Word of mouth!

You know the new word of mouth is the internet, right?

♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Yo, who is that?

-FAROUK: You know Indigo, right? -I'm about to.

I'm gonna push you. I'm gonna let go now.

No! Oh, shit! (LAUGHS)

HONEYBEAR: I'm on this date right now with this girl, Ash.

I'm trying not to screw it up.

You're not screwing it up.

-Hi, Camille! -Hey, what's up.

Wow, look at you. In the video already.

Cute girls get more views. Don't you know that?

-JANAY: I need to talk to you. -What, hold up.

Some girl wants to destroy me,

and she's just using this Me Too shit

because she knows her work.

You need to watch your mouth.

Your boy needs to watch his hands.

-Come on, what you doin'?! -(GLASS CRACKLES)

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

-Where'd I leave my pens? -Your weed pens?

FAROUK: My money's past due.

Give me what you have left, and we're cool.

SPEAKER: What are you gonna do?

You stole a check from me. Give me the keys.

-My keys? -To the apartment.

JANAY: You lied to me.

You can't blame yourself for this.

What's up, Kirt.

KIRT: I wanna stop fighting the patriarchy

and just start helping the matriarchy.

You should host another one of those girl sessions.

KIRT: I tried that one time. Nobody came.

CAMILLE: You're really gonna let that stop you from trying again?

(YELPS)

Where are you at? You literally planned this whole thing.

We did. Go skate.

♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(CHEERING)

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[dog barking]

- No, no, I talked to that guy. It's a total bust.

- Are we able to just-- - No, we're running out of--

Hey. Um...

- I could get that together, and we can move forward.

- No, we still need to find a site for that development.

- I keep telling you the old chocolate factory

in north Brooklyn is perfect.

It's been sitting there for ten years.

- And I keep telling you that that place is a piece of shit.

It's not worth it.

That place is gonna sit there forever.

- Jeanne, it's a chocolate factory.

Everyone loves a place with a story.

- Thank you, Brian, I really should buy

a $10 million building because it has a story

that nobody cares about.

Listen, my kid is here. I gotta jump.

Sorry, Indi. - Hi.

- What's up? - I wanted to give you this.

- What's this? - It's my check.

I signed it over to you.

And I'm gonna keep giving you money from all of my checks

until we're square.

- Really, sweetheart?

Key Food?

- Well, this is what I'm doing now, so I don't really know--

- Okay, you're an essential worker, and that's great.

But I did not pay for Brearley

so that you can be putting Snapples into fridges.

- Well, I don't care if you cash it or not,

but I gotta go.

- You're better than this.

[sighs]

[Sofi Tukker's "Drinkee"]

♪ ♪

- What about this one?

- I'm not trying to fuck a Smurf.

- Okay, then. Someone's cranky.

- [exhales]

- ♪ Com Deus me deito, com Deus me levanto ♪

♪ Comigo eu calo, comigo eu canto ♪

♪ Eu bato um papo, eu bato um ponto ♪

♪ Eu tomo um drinque, eu fico tonto ♪

♪ Com Deus me deito, com Deus me levanto ♪

- Indigo. Dude.

We got off shift five minutes ago.

Janay's here. Let's go!

- ♪ Com Deus me deito, com Deus me levanto ♪

♪ Comigo eu calo, comigo eu canto ♪

- Oh, God.

Fuck were you doing in there anyway?

- ♪ Comigo eu calo, comigo eu canto ♪

- Ooh, that's nice.

Hello, ma'am. You call a plumber?

I'm trying to lay some pipe.

- ♪ Comigo eu canto ♪

♪ Eu bato um papo, eu bato um ponto ♪

♪ Eu tomo um drinque, eu fico tonto ♪

♪ Com Deus me deito, com Deus me levanto ♪

♪ Comigo eu calo, comigo eu canto ♪

- Now, let me know if you want me to suggest any products.

I've literally used everything in here.

In my body.

- Why are you so scared? It's fine.

Come here. Come here.

What about this one? It's cute.

Ooh, there it goes. Yeah, you could salsa with her.

[laughs] Here, feel it, feel it.

- What is this place?

- It's a sex shop. - That's legal?

- Yes, Camille, and one day,

when you're ready, I'll take you inside.

- How will I know when I'm ready?

- [laughs]

- Great choice. I have one.

It's life-changing. Enjoy.

- Thank you. How'd they know we were here?

- I texted Janay.

- Come on, Tiger, let's see it, baby.

♪ ♪

Come on, Tiger. Oh, no.

♪ ♪

- Atta girl.

♪ ♪

- Okay. I feel you.

[indistinct chatter]

- I'm just saying, let's get it.

- [laughs] - [indistinct]

Yeah, stay hydrated. - Yeah.

- Tweedledum. Tweedledee.

- ♪ I'm a big deal, Google me ♪

♪ No time to chill, Google me ♪

♪ Everything real, Google me ♪

♪ Google me, Google me, Google me ♪

♪ One, two, three, I'm a big deal, Google me ♪

♪ Keep it real, I been true to me ♪

♪ Been out in the fields, this ain't new to me ♪

♪ No, I'm new to you, don't be confused ♪

♪ I got accolades and Google got proof ♪

♪ I create the wave, they do what I do ♪

♪ Can't do it like me, though, I'm the idol ♪

♪ I got swagger, grace, sauce with manners ♪

♪ Let 'em hate, the hate be standard ♪

♪ I'll be great, the wastes don't matter ♪

♪ Google me babes, see how my ting patterned ♪

♪ I'm a big deal, Google me ♪

♪ No time to chill, Google me ♪

♪ Everything real, Google me ♪

♪ Google me, Google me, Google me ♪

♪ I'm a big deal, Google me ♪

- Okay. You gotta redo it.

- What do you mean? - I messed up the angle.

- Whoa.

- ♪ Google me, Google me, Google me ♪

- Yo!

Did you not just see me there? - Of course I saw you.

That's why I didn't hit you.

- Fucking dick.

- These men are, like, rich rich.

Like, they just wanna hear you talk to them

and, like, you know...

- What's the most you ever got?

- One time I got a fat stack

for just listening to this guy talk about a band called Rush.

- Wait.

So you got a whole stack just for listening to a dude?

- Yeah. - That's all you did?

No touching, nothing?

- You know, look cute, little cocktail dress.

- But I'm not gonna give no fucking stranger head.

- No, no, no, me neither.

I just finesse them for their money, that's it.

- Think about how much money you would get

if you actually gave them head, though.

- You don't have to do any of that.

You just have to do shit like this.

- Shit, why don't you take me out on a date?

- [laughs]

Now you can film me. - A'ight.

- So I'm gonna do, uh, the same thing,

except regular, 'cause I can't do switch.

I'm gonna do regular--I can't.

I'll do a regular heelflip.

- Oh, shit, I gotta go. - Where?

- Somewhere. - Where?

- NFD. - Why you going there?

That place is so expensive, right?

- I mean, they just started hooking me up.

- What? You ride for them now?

- No, it's just, like, flow. Like, it's whatever.

- Flow means that you ri-- fuck you, let's go.

- Wait, wait, like, I just got put on, though.

I don't know if you can come. - Why not?

I just--I just wanna look at the pants.

- A'ight, fine. - Let me come, please.

- You can come. - All right.

- But you gotta stay outside. - I'll stay outside.

- Never give your real name. Rule number one.

- Never? - No.

You don't ever go home with them,

you don't go to their hotel room,

you don't go anywhere that they tell you

that they wanna go alone.

We don't go anywhere alone with them, you know?

You talk to them, you listen to them,

they got money,

they're ready to throw it at you, that's it.

It's that easy.

- So, uh, I'll be out here. - Thank you.

- Good luck.

- I floated those pants you showed me earlier.

- I bet, I got you. - It's good.

- You know, that video you posted

with that chick was fucking hilarious, bro.

- Thank you. - Who is that girl?

- Uh, she's just some girl I know.

- Wait, is that her?

- Yeah. That's Camille.

- Why didn't you bring her in? - I mean, she's skating.

- Bro, go out there and bring her in.

- Come on, just do that shit already.

- Do it! - No, you won't do it.

- What you waiting for? - You're right, I won't.

You got it, though. Yeah.

Okay. - Go, go, go.

- Do it, do it, do it!

- Ai-yi-yi, yo. - What the fuck?

You kidding me?

- Yo, you thought I was gonna break my other leg?

- We're probably gonna do a new girls line,

and maybe even a girls team.

So if you're interested, I'll float you some gear

if you wanna rock it in the next video you make.

- Really? I--yeah, that sounds chill.

- You're hilarious. - She's not hilarious.

- What are you talking about? I'm funny as fuck.

- You're not funny, bro. - But he just said I was funny.

- But he don't know you. You're not funny.

- I'm stronger than him though.

- No, you're not stronger than me.

- Yes, I am, I beat you in a arm wrestle the other day.

We got it on video. - That didn't count.

- We can do it right now. Yeah, I am.

- I gotta see it. Arm wrestle.

- All right. - I wanna see it right now.

Come on.

- Yo! Hey, yo!

Listen up. Pick your fucking boards up.

- Who's this guy? - What the fuck?

- All right. So.

As some of you may have heard, we lost our lease,

which means this is it.

Fuck it, you all know the rest.

- The fuck is that supposed to mean?

- It means, baby genius,

that you and everybody else has to bounce.

- No! - Wait, what is going on?

- I don't know. Bring it up with the new owner.

- Okay, where is he?

- He'll be here at some point tomorrow morning.

You can bother him then. - Oh, I'll be there.

- Yeah. - Yeah!

[overlapping chatter]

- Oh, yeah, really? You too?

- Yeah, we all going-- - Oh, yeah.

You're gonna make such a big difference.

I really expect you to do something--okay.

- Yo, turn the lights back on. Yo, come on.

Trying to get a clip.

- No, you can skate in the dark.

- I'm trying to get a clip, yo.

- You weren't skating with the lights on anyway.

- Bro, we're not going anywhere!

- I'm heading out with my boys. - I'm not going anywhere.

- Come see me.

- Yo, don't do that, Philip, don't--

we don't need to do that.

You don't need to do that, Philip.

- I let you beat me on purpose.

- No, you didn't. Do it again.

- I let you beat me on purpose, bro.

- And--go. Now, see--

that's a tactic right now.

- Two, three, go.

[laughs]

- Bro, I know you-- - No, she's on the team.

She got you. Well done.

[chuckles] - I didn't know--

- Her dad is a professional gymnast.

- No, he's not.

- You still beat him, so we got you.

That's it. [laughs]

You, I don't know.

[leisurely music]

♪ ♪

[Strafe's "Set It Off"]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- ♪ Y'all want this party started right? ♪

♪ Y'all want this party started quickly, right? ♪

♪ Set it off on the left, y'all ♪

♪ Set it off on the right, y'all ♪

♪ Set it off, set it off, set it off ♪

- Damn, girl, you bringing all that cake to the party,

ain't save me a slice? - Ugh, no.

- Nah, for real, though, where you guys going?

- Really? - Take me with you?

- Which one of y'all wanna give us your Instagrams?

- You're a thirsty-ass little bitch.

- [laughs]

- Yo, this-- - So feisty, miss!

- Yo, what the fuck was that?

- Yeah, I know, right? These females are wack, yo.

- No, you are. That was rude as fuck.

- Come on, Kirt, you know how they are.

They roll by, no one says anything,

it low-key hurts they heart. - Oh.

- Exactly, yo. We were just being friendly.

- Nobody wants to be your friend, bro.

You know what you two sound like?

Like a couple of dudes who used to be hella ugly

and never learned how to speak to women.

- I ain't never been ugly. - You're buggin'.

- I've seen your Throwback Thursdays.

I know I'm right.

I'ma start calling you Ugly Charlie.

- Hoo! - Oh!

- That was kinda harsh, Kirt, just--

- So is street harassment!

I don't give a fuck about your feelings!

Get the fuck out of my way!

- Ugly Charlie got a ring to it, though.

- It does. - Ugly Charlie.

- It's all good, man.

Your personality's great.

- Fuck you.

[light music playing]

♪ ♪

- Hello? - Mm-hmm.

- Hello? Yo!

- Hey.

- You're cooking in my kitchen and in my bedroom?

- Well, hello to you too, little cuz.

- What the hell is going on?

- Your pops didn't tell you?

Well, you know the community center

that I cook in all the time?

They closed out of nowhere on some COVID shit, right?

I spoke to your pops.

He said that I can cook here while I'm figuring this out.

And he was supposed to tell you.

- Okay, I'm sorry,

but why do you have to use my bedroom?

- I have no choice. If I don't get this done,

a whole lot of old folks don't eat.

You know what else?

Girl, I known you since you was baby.

I've known you your whole life.

I never thought that one day I would see you sit here

with zero compassion for old folks in the middle of COVID.

Asshole, okay?

Hey.

- How can I help you today?

- I've been waiting--

I've been on hold for hour and a half.

Here-- - Sir, are you there?

- Hello, hello? One second.

Hey, listen. Spray this on there, yes.

Make--you're very useful. Hello, hello?

- This is root beer. Why is this--this is root beer.

[indistinct whispering]

- Hi, yes. This is [indistinct].

- Hi, how may I help you today?

- Community advantage loan?

[kissing]

[vibrator buzzing]

- Loba from "Apex Legends."

- Is that another video game character?

- Yeah, uh, she's so thick, though.

- How about someone you met?

- I think Tessa Thompson is pretty cute.

Up a little.

Down a little. Down a little more.

Not that far. - Oh, God, I'm sorry.

- That lady wasn't lying.

- [panting]

- Larry David.

- Really?

- Maybe. - Who else?

- This bartender from the wine bar.

- Wait, so, like, not a movie star or video game character?

Like, someone you actually talk to?

- I mean, I haven't actually talked to her.

I just thought she was hot. I'm--I'm sorry, that--

I--I don't know. I thought you would like it.

- Let's go see her. - What?

[indistinct PA announcement]

- Ma'am, uh, you need to wear a mask to shop here.

- I have a medical condition.

- Um, I'd be happy to bring you anything you need outside.

- I'm not covering my face with a cloth.

- Ma'am, you need to put on a mask,

or you need to leave.

- Okay, and you're telling me to cover myself up,

and you can't even cover up your belly?

You look like a prostitute.

- I don't breathe out my bellybutton!

- Hey! What are you doing?

- Hey! Whoa, what's going on?

- You better fire this bitch, she's throwing shit at me.

- Ma'am, if you're not gonna wear a mask,

you have to leave, or I can call the cops.

- You kidding me right now? She's throwing--

- It's six feet! - Get the fuck out of my way.

- Oh, real nice. Real nice.

What the... hey!

You can't throw hot dog buns at the customers.

- [scoffs] You know what?

I quit, I'm better than this fucking job.

Take that shit. Anyways.

[ambient music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, do you have one of those ear screw things

that'll make me sleep, like, four less hours a night?

- I've been trying to start writing, like, a novel.

- You know, sometimes Reiki can have a bigger impact

if our energy is a little more quiet.

- Okay.

- Let's just take some deep breaths together, all right?

- Mm-hmm.

- [breathes deeply]

Whoa. - Whoa?

What you mean, whoa?

Dude, I got COVID, don't I?

I fucking ate this empanada last week,

I couldn't even taste it. - That's not it. Just stop.

Remain calm, okay?

I want you to putter your lips just like this.

That's all, okay?

Gonna take a deep breath, make some sound.

[trills lips] - Ugh!

Yo, stop.

You're aerosoling like a motherfucker.

- I'm sorry for the spit. - Control your droplets.

- This is a chakra opener, and it's very important.

You have an overabundance of energy in your root chakra.

And this is where you store sexual energy.

- Oh, okay.

- But you gotta move that energy up and out.

- So you mean I gotta smash more?

- No, you need to align your energy.

Don't look for answers.

You should be on the lookout for questions.

- I'm on a quest? - Yes, you might be, okay?

- I'm on a quest. - I said "might," all right?

[serene music]

♪ ♪

- I'm on a quest?

I'm on a quest.

[slow percussive music]

♪ ♪

I'm on a quest.

[unsettling music]

♪ ♪

- It's insane in here. - Yeah, I'm sorry, uh...

- This is, like, an episode of "Hoarders" or something.

Like, could you clean up a little bit, you know?

- Okay, I'm sorry. - You got mad shit.

- Just doing something. I'll take care of it.

What's up?

- NFD just started hooking me up with clothes.

- What? - Yeah, NFD--

they--they--all they want me to do is make videos for them.

- No way! - And wear the clothes

and skate in the videos. - Camille, that's so cool!

- I'm, like, sponsored by them, I guess.

- [speaking Spanish] What's going on?

- I'm--I'm flow. I'm on flow.

- What is that, your period? - No, Dad, not my period.

It's--like, I just have--

they give me clothes and stuff like that--yeah.

- Okay, free clothes. - Yeah, free.

- I like that. - Let's see them.

Try 'em on.

[gasps] Dude.

You look like a thot. - Shut up.

- Wait, is thot good?

- It's great.

- I think it might be, like, a size too small, though.

- Hmm. It's fine, it's fine.

- Don't tell her it's fine.

You gotta tell her she looks good.

- It looks good. You look great.

- That wasn't convincing. - Thank you.

- Hey, why don't you thots

maybe clean up this apartment, huh?

Be clean thots?

- You can see my underwear. Look.

Is that supposed to be a thing? Sorry.

- Clean thots. - Okay.

- I feel like my belly button is, like, a little too exposed.

Right?

- You got beef with your belly button?

- Well, what if something goes in it when I'm skating?

[laughing] Like, I'm scared about that.

- It's not a hole. It's a dip.

[light pop music playing]

- So that's your Tessa Thompson?

- I'm sorry. I know you're supposed to pick

someone you couldn't actually hook up with.

- Oh, so you think you can get her now?

- That's not what I'm saying. Come on.

- It's chill. I get it.

She's hot.

She's no Loba, but...

- She's cute.

Oh, shit.

Wait, I think she's coming over here.

Hmm.

- Hey. I'm Victoria.

Would you like to try some Skin Contact?

- Skin contact?

- Orange wine.

It's really good.

- Oh.

♪ ♪

[upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

- Yo. Yo.

- Yo, yo. - Yo.

- Yo, yo.

- Yo. Um...

So I owe you an apology.

I came at you sideways.

But I'm on a quest now, so can we talk?

- Sure. - Go ahead.

- Listen.

You guys probably weren't that ugly.

- [laughs]

- What I meant to say was,

maybe there might've been a time

where you were kind of humble with women.

- Ah.

- I guess. - And that's the thing.

We are women, not females.

Gotta stop talking crazy

and pay a little bit attention.

Okay, look.

- What's up?

♪ ♪

- See that girl right there?

- Yeah? - Just standing by herself.

She look kind of pissed off, right?

- Uh-huh.

- That's because she wants someone to dance with her.

- Should I go dance?

- Yeah.

Go dance with her. - You got that.

- Yeah, you got this. - All right, I'll go.

[laughter]

- Oh, my God!

- Philip got them moves.

- Yo. - Yeah.

- See that girl just looking at them?

- Sad girl over in the corner?

- Yeah, she looking at them because she's lonely

and she's really sad

and she just wants to talk to someone.

Seriously, go. - Don't lead me astray here.

- No, just go.

- You got this. - I got this.

- Dang, Kirt's, like, a female whisperer.

- Holy shit.

- All right. So what about her right there?

- Here, you gotta give her one of these.

It's for period cramps.

She has cramps.

- She has cramps. - All right.

I don't know how you know that, but fuck it.

- [laughs]

- [inaudible chatter]

- Huh.

- It's a miracle.

- Kirt's the truth!

- What about me, Kirt?

I don't date girls.

- Oh, well, God bless,

because straight men kinda suck ass.

- Never have I ever...

[light pop music playing]

♪ ♪

Eaten pineapple by choice.

- Okay. - Wait, what?

- Eaten pineapple. - By choice?

- As opposed to being forced.

[laughter]

[laughing] It's my turn?

I don't have anything. Okay.

Um, never have I ever...

explicitly asked someone out.

- Wait, what? - I've never asked someone out.

Like, actually been like, "Hey, I like you.

Can I do something with you?"

[laughing] You gotta drink to that.

I caught her-- I was literally skating across,

and I look over, and this girl has a camera,

and I could tell-- like, you knew--

I knew it was zoomed in on me.

But then I saw her--

what was it-- like, the next day,

and I see her in the street, and she runs the other way.

I mean, actually, like, full-on the other way.

- That's so sweet.

- Yeah, it was sweet until I was like,

"Did this girl really just deny me?"

I just didn't know, but...

[soft music]

And then we met at this party.

Like...who was there? I forget.

But Camille, like, dragged me to her.

- Mm-hmm.

- And, like, Charlie and his friends were like,

"You should go over there"...

[inaudible]

♪ ♪

- Oh, shit. What's good?

- How are you the only one who showed up?

Where are your boys? - Where are your girls?

- Okay.

- Come on, we don't got time for this.

- Gotta knock harder than that.

- Oh, yeah? Show me then.

- Hello!

- Yo!

- Hello!

- Well, contrary to popular belief,

we happen to be closed.

- You said we could talk to the owner.

- Plot twist: he left about an hour ago.

- Damn. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hold up, hold up, hold up. - What?

- What about the ramps?

- Everything's getting tossed the next 48.

If you can manage to get 'em out of here before then,

they're all yours.

- Yo, that dude is a asshole.

So what now? What we gonna do?

- We?

[Dear Derrick's "Do Yourself a Favor"]

- ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

- Girl got some problems, man.

- [laughs]

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Hop up off my dick ♪

I mean, that's just the best advice

I can give you, my nigga.

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Hop up off my dick ♪

Yo, this wisdom right here, nigga.

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Hop up off-off my dick ♪

Once you understand this, you can go anywhere.

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Get off my dick ♪

♪ Big cherry pie, American dream ♪

♪ A fiend for this thing called rap ♪

♪ The last track ♪

♪ Last train to Paris, love feels strange ♪

♪ Rage on the page ♪

♪ In the age of daydreaming, nothing really happening ♪

♪ Steady schemin', in the hood, comfy ♪

♪ Call me Raymour and Flanigan ♪

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Hop up off my dick ♪

All right, need me to do one more of either?

♪ Do yourself a favor ♪

♪ Hop up off my dick ♪

- We'll double that? - Yup.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

[bright tone]

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Now lean forward, yeah, arch your back.

Okay, now you look constipated.

-Why can't I do it? -Y'all taking ho photos?

This is like public humiliation.

I like your lipstick, though.

-SPEAKER: What did you think? -It was interesting.

SPEAKER: Would you want to see her again?

-What is this? -SPEAKER 2: We lost our lease.

SPEAKER 3: Where are we gonna take these ramps?

-And where have you been? -I've been trying

to help these boys grow into men.

Just help women!

Listen to her.

You think anybody wants a dick pic?

Actually, some people do.

No second dates, no going alone.

This is not a joke.

MAN: I get the impression that it's rare

to get a second date with you.

♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪

-(GRUNTING) -(POLICE SIRENS BLARE)

OFFICER: What the hell's going on in there?

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

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