Original subtitles

Good evening fellow creatures,

this evening we are making a daring experiment,

we shall present a blank screen,

and let your imagination fill in the picture,

since I have no idea what you are thinking,

I have no idea what you are seeing,

I understand a good many men watch our show,

of course I’m sure their wives occasionally,

peek in from the kitchen,

but when they see the show hasn't begun,

they return to their work,

I’m afraid our experiment may be getting out of hand,

I shall ask our sponsor to fill the screen,

with his own wholesome untroubled thoughts,

this is especially designed for those of you,

with nothing at all on your mind.

MAKE MY DEATH BED

A man in a chair all by himself from new year's eve.

You have any suggestions?

I believe in two-fisted drinking one on each hand here.

You take one.

Thank you.

Is this the best you can do? Seems to me a girl would be more fun right now.

Oh she would she would but I got a wife sitting up there.

In scarlet town where I was born,

there was a fair maid dwellings,

made every youth cry well a day,

her name was Barbara Allen...

I just love him singing, I guess that's why I married him,

What's the name of that song?

-Barbara Allen. -Jack, how about a reader?

Oh, sure doc I’ll get it for you.

Bob it is very often we get you and Della out the party.

You leave him alone, he's having a good time,

there are going to be no babies born tonight so far as we know.

Don't be too sure.

Spoilsport. -Hey listen isn't anybody going to drive,

my goulash? I’ve been chained to a hot stove all day.

I bet bob would like it better than he does mine.

-You wanted some? -Yeah.

Jackie how about trying to sum Bish to Ken's ghoulash?

Oh, yeah sure.

You know I never met Bash Darby before,

he certainly seems to be in love with the sound of his own voice,

-what's he do? -He's a farm equipment salesman,

he was transferred up here about two months ago.

He seems to be quite a salesman all right.

Is it true what they say about Dixie?

Well I don't know Dixie but I’m sure willing to try.

Hey, it's almost a new year, couldn't be,

any worse than the old one that's for sure.

I better go and get my wife.

Happy new year everybody 12 o'clock,

happy new year.

Okay now I’m on my way,

this is Paul, she's in labor, two weeks early.

Hey hey,

-Happy new year. -Happy new year.

-You mean you don't play golf man? -No.

Oh, you don't know what you're missing.

Oh all that walking after a little ball.

That's not just that, little ball that you're walking after,

-it's uh, and business. -What do you mean?

Why do you want to join the country club sell some of those plows, huh?

Well you already got me in the lines.

Now sweetheart, you listened to cam.

Oh, yeah, I heard him, I heard him,

after all I did buy that house on his recommendation, didn't I?

That's a good investment you'll see.

Darling when out of cigarettes I think,

I’ll pop down to the crossing and get some.

Bish would you mind moving your car from the driveway it's blocking mine.

No, not at all, I’ll be right back.

-Bye bye then. -Bye.

Ken, Ken you sure have been a great help to us,

Bish and I was so out of things and it hadn't been for,

you and Elise we never would have been accepted it.

No, wasn't us, was Bish's guitar and his husky baritone voice that opened the,

door.

My goodness, Elise is so pretty.

Plenty of cigarettes here she didn't have to go.

Well maybe she didn't want to run too low.

Your car is gone I uh I guess Bish drove her down.

Yes, well they they'll be back soon.

Now what am I going to do with this?

-Can I help? -No it's all right honey, I can manage thank you.

I guess you really are leaving tomorrow aren't you?

I certainly am, honey, and I need another week to get ready and too.

It seems a shame to be leaving with the weather just getting nice.

But I promised the children that they could,

visit their grandmother during the vacation.

-Little Bish join you later? -Yes,

yes he can't right now he he's too busy.

Mommy, mommy is the train ready? -No baby, not yet but it will be tomorrow.

Maddie see? I told you she would believe me.

I believe you both, come give aunt Elise a big hug.

Maddie's only a baby she doesn't understand about trains.

You do though, you're a big boy you better keep an eye on your little sister.

Yes bo you do that for mommy, huh? now out with you both of you out, that's right.

I’m never gonna finish this packing.

-I’ve got to be leaving too -Oh don't run off.

-But I must. -You know, there is something you can do for me honey.

-Anything. -It's about Bish. -Yes.

Well I sure would appreciate if you keep your eye on him for me,

while I’m gone just see that it eats properly and sticks to his diet.

Diet? please don't diet, don't tell me.

Oh, yes he doesn't take it very seriously but he should he starts,

to put on a little weight and before you know it...

-What can I do? -Well just keep it after him, it's really a very simple diet.

And tell me what it is and I’ll nag him to that.

It's just lean meat and no potatoes and no bread,

and no desserts saccharin in his coffee.

All right, oh what can I drive you to the station tomorrow?

Oh no that's all right honey, Bish will. I’ll come see you.

Oh don't bother, have a good trip I’ll see you when you get back.

Yes honey I will.

I sure will.

Father o father come dig my grave,

I’ll dig it long and narrow,

sweet William died for me today,

I’ll die for him tomorrow,

they buried him in the old church yard,

they buried her beside him,

through William’s heart grew a red red, rose,

through Barbara’s groove,

a briar,

Where'd you ever learn to play the guitar?

Oh I never took any lessons I just,

sort of started picking at the strings.

Uh, so do it yourself, huh?

Play some more.

Oh give me a chance to get my breath,

that was a big supper we just had.

No one would ever guess you were on a diet.

Well I’m not I’m supposed to be but,

I just can't seem to get around to it.

-Who told you anyway? -Jackie.

-Well have you heard from her yet? -Yeah yeah,

I got a wire from her yesterday she's at her folks place.

Oh I promised Jackie I’d help keep you slim now where's that saccharin.

-Well there's no use I’ll just forget it anyway. -I won't let you forget.

-How about a brandy everyone? -Not me.

-No, no thank you. -I’ll take one.

All right.

Ken sure missed a great dinner.

Well he'd never miss a junior chamber of commerce meeting.

You know he's been after me to join, I just might do that,

-because business. Business, that's all men ever think about,

-Is that so bad? -Well let's just say it's not stimulating,

I have a theory, men should make money put it in,

their wives checking accounts and then forget about it.

It's a good thing you're not married to a doctor.

Yeah speaking of doctors I’m reminded that I work 24 hours a day,

-it's getting late honey. -Okay, I better go home.

Yeah, I hate to run but if I should get a call,

that fog is going to really slow us up getting back to town.

-Don't get up, we had a lovely dinner. -Oh I’m glad you came. -Thanks, bye.

-Good night Bish. -Bye.

Hello,

yes this is dr Hudson’s residence,

this is his wife I’ll take a message,

what?

oh no, where?

yes, yes he'll be over right away.

Bob wake up,

that was the sheriff,

they want you to go to the Taylor place right away,

Ken Taylor just shot and killed Bish Darby.

And I guess there's nothing more we can do until the doc arrives.

-Hi uh doc. -Dougher.

There he is.

-Here. -Yeah I guess so.

Hello Della.

You do have cigarette on you?

everyone here seems to run out.

-thank you. -How about some coffee?

I’m going to have some.

There is some on the bar from dinner.

I I walked in I walked right in,

I’ll drink this, make you feel better.

-I can't drink coffee without sugar. -I’ll get some. -Oh don't bother I’ll use this.

-They won't do anything, can will they? -I don't know.

-It was all my fault I’ll say so. -It's rather late now.

Jackie I, I feel so sorry for her,

poor little Jackie, what did she ever do to deserve this?

it was hardly worth it,

but I thought I’d die if I couldn't have him,

but it was hardly worth it,

Jackie and the kids without Bish,

the world without Bish,

the guitar without Bish,

I sure found this one up, didn't I?

of course it was the original mistake,

my mistake, in thinking Ken would put up with anything from me.

-Is that why you married him? -Yes.

I could have had almost anyone in Belfont,

your Bob for instance, but I didn't want him,

only Bish,

Oh Della, just look at me,

tell me, was I meant for just one man and one life?

was I meant to be dedicated to the gods of Bellefonte respectability?

You could have gotten out of Bellefonte.

Bish was the only one,

the only one since I was married,

the only one I was serious about.

I guess the gods of Bellefonte respectability weren't,

working for Bish and Jackie when they sent them here.

Della, let's see you a moment please,

-how's she taking it? -She's all right,

don't you think you should call Jackie?

No I think you better call. -Not me,

you let her best friend do it.

I feel so odd all of a sudden,

odd...

I’ll get Bob to give you something.

No no don't bother,

I’ll just lie down here for a while,

where did Ken get the gun, Della?

how long do you suppose he's had it?

I don't know.

When Ken walked in he just stood there then he said,

I’ve waited long enough but I’ve got you now,

and then he just took out the gun.

Try not to think about.

It taked steak for dinner because Bish's dieting,

those diets when he thinks he's putting on a little weight,

Jackie and I laughed about it,

Bish is dead, and I’m talking about him as if he isn't,

it was Ken's coming back that did it, I,

I forgot about the JC's letting their meetings out early on foggy night,

it it was the fog,

they always come home early when it's foggy,

so many of them live on the lake.

You're talking too much now try and get some rest.

You gotta call Jackie for me, not?

I couldn't I’d make such a mess of it.

Look if you knew about Bish and Elise why didn't you at least try to warn Jackie.

I hadn't seen her for ages, besides she knew.

I guess I should have tried,

You think it would have helped?

Well an unfaithful husband is better than a dead one.

Come on Ken,

I’m going downtown now.

-finish the report yet doc? -No, just the uh preliminary.

What about mrs Taylor, can we get hold of her family?

I don't think they're likely to show up.

Well doesn't she have any friends she can go to?

None that I know of.

Can you stay with her just for tonight?

Looks like she's in a pretty bad state of shock

There's no one else to do it, is there.

Good night doctor see you in the morning.

Bye Clint.

Might as well call Jackie now.

Hello,

fellow operator I’d like to place a long,

distance telephone call Huntersville Mississippi,

that's true,

just a minute, honey,

do you happen to know Jackie’s name before she was married?

uh parents name?

I don't know I don't think I ever knew.

Their name is Bliss, her father's name is Beau Regard Bliss.

Elise you're drinking too much coffee,

what you need is sleep.

...Beau Regard Bliss,

that's right operator,

when you get the Bliss residence I’d like to talk to a mrs Bish Darby,

Darby, yeah that's right,

all right I’ll hold on up minute.

-I feel awful. -I’m going to stay with you tonight.

Thank you.

I keep thinking of that song Bish used to sing,

Barbara Allen,

you know it? -Yes I know it.

"When he was dead,

and laid in grave her heart was struck,

with sorrow oh mother mother,

make my bed,

for I shall die tomorrow,

oh mother, mother make my bed,

oh make it long and narrow,

sweet William died for me today,

Mrs Darby, Jackie?

Jackie this is Bob Hudson.

hello Bob.

I’m afraid I have bad news for you Jackie,

it's Bish,

he's dead.

All right.

What was that?

I said,

you want me to give myself up to the authorities here,

or should I come back there?

But Jackie I’m afraid you don't understand.

I mean who should arrest me.

I’m trying to tell you that Bish has been killed,

he was shot.

Shot?

-Shot? -Yes it was...

Ken...

it was Ken.

Jackie do you mind if I speak to your mother or your father please?

If, if Ken shot Bish,

there's something that you'd better do.

I uh, I don't know what you're talking about.

You better do something about that saccharine.

Saccharin?

Yes,

the saccharin that I left for Bish,

-it was poison. -Bob...

She's dead.

Oh well we all make mistakes poor Jackie Darby had no,

way of telling that her rival shared her husband's diet,

now here's another commercial after which I shall return,

some of you have inquired about the small bullet holes,

in the commercial you have just witnessed,

this should explain,

the preceding film was selected and shown to the armed forces,

actually it was nothing 30 caliber and under,

but next time we hope to persuade the,

sponsor to make a personal appearance instead,

now until next week, good night.