Original subtitles

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

Before I begin tonight's concert,

I would like to explain the structure of a symphony.

All symphonies are composed of two parts,

sounds and silences. It is very important,

that you know the difference between the two.

Perhaps I should give you an example.

This is sound...

Good heavens I don't like this a bit.

I was told I would be the only one on the program.

He's as stiff as a board. He must have been here sometime.

To continue our little chat about musical appreciation,

for example of sounds, I know nothing better,

than the next 60 seconds.

Martha I want you to get me a ticket on the,

first flight tomorrow morning to Toronto. And get mrs Barrett on the telephone.

You wanted to see me mr Barrett?

I sent Twining to Toronto to wind up an old litigation and he's,

tied himself up in enough red tape to trim a christmas tree.

I have to fly up there in the morning.

-You know what that means don't you? -The Muldoon right merger.

There's enough work left on that to keep you busy.

Until I get back I�m leaving you in charge.

I�ve given you everything I have here.

-Yes? -Mr Barrett I have mrs Barrett, on your private wire. -Thank you.

I don't think you'll have any trouble.

I�m sure that I won't mr Barrett.

Good morning Poopsie.

Did I awaken you?

-Mrs James Barret buried here. -It's me Poopsie.

-Oh it's you. -I�m flying to Toronto in the morning.

Toronto, where's Toronto?

-In Canada. -Is that overseas?

No that's not overseas, now listen Poopsie.

This is why I called to tell you, as much as I�ll miss you,

we can't have lunch together today. I have an important conference.

-Toronto. -Did you hear me Poopsie?

Oh yes well don't worry about me.

I�ll miss you awfully but I�ll have lunch with one of the girls.

Oh darling I�m sorry to be so terribly late but gigi just wouldn't eat her lunch.

-Don't be angry with me. -I asked you my sweet not to wear that getup.

It's a bit like hiring a soundtruck to go through the streets,

announcing that mrs James Barrett is having a quiet lunch with her lover.

But I like to dress for you. You want me to look frumpy.

You'll end up by forgetting you love me at all.

Impossible, I could never forget that.

I don't believe you. Have any idea how,

far that baby blue expression of yours could take you?

-Philip it's been so long. -A month.

How much without even seeing you.

You might at least have come to irene's cocktail party.

Hold on but we'll order later thank you.

That's the last thing I could have done my darling.

You can't help looking at me the way you're looking at me now.

And I undoubtedly would have made a dive for you and the,

whole affair would have come crashing into the open.

Now, There's only one way for us really to be together.

-Oh James is going away. -Yes love.

James is going away on another of his business trips.

And we decided the last time what we must do, didn't we?

-Where's Toronto? -Farther than James thinks.

I knew when he sent Twining off to Toronto, that he would leave him,

there just long enough for him to make a rather thorough mess of things.

Then the old boy would be off to the rescue.

He fancies himself a kind of one-man cavalry charge.

I�ve made all the arrangements.

James will never reach the Toronto office.

-What are you going to do? -Now the less you know of the details my adorable,

feather brain, the better off for us both.

As things stand now I�m completely covered.

I don't want the details of James's impending demise,

to be new york's favorite dinner topic tonight.

All you have to do is send him off to the airport with a warm and tender farewell.

-Farewell. -I�ll send you further instructions in the mail.

All you'll have to do is follow them.

-Then after a brief period of mourning... -Oh I look lovely in black.

He was sweet.

-And rich. -And generous.

Oh you're right my darling.

You will look lovely in black.

Well it's liable to be chilly up in Canada mr Barrett.

-Did you call for a taxi? -Oh yes mr Barrett I did.

-Well did you tell him I�m in a hurry? -Well of course I did.

Have a good trip mr Barret.

Poopsie, you didn't have to get up so early just to see me off.

Oh but I did that was the first thing in...

that was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning.

James is going away I thought, I must get up and see him all.

-Gigi, kiss goodbay. -You make it all worthwhile Poopsie.

That fool in Toronto is enough to make me want to chuck everything.

But you make it all worthwhile.

Your taxi is here mr Barrett.

-Good morning mrs Barrett. -Morning Harry.

You want me to walk Gigi for you this morning?

I�d like to have my bag taken down, if you can spare the time.

Oh I nearly forgot I brought up the mail.

Oh I�ll take it.

Goodbye Poopsie dear.

By this time my sweet your adoring husband is on his way to the airport.

Now briefly to business, all you are to do is write James a good smarmy letter,

leaving nothing to the imagination of a policeman.

Mail this morning your letter, should reach the Toronto office tomorrow.

It means nothing that James will never live to see it as long as it's there for the police.

Send it air mail, the address is at the bottom of this letter.

Now that's all you have to do, write it.

Mail it and forget it, I suggest a small cocktail party in your apartment in the afternoon.

It will help you to forget and provide an excellent, alibi for a grief stricken widow.

A need to remind you to destroy this.

My life is literally in your hands.

Yours forever and ever.

Address.

Barrett twining...

and more, 342...

Bay street, Toronto.

Canada.

Dear,

James.

My dear.

Husband.

James.

What is a swarmy letter?

My,

dearest

darling.

I know you will think,

that I am,

a foolish,

feather brain.

for writing,

to you,

so quickly.

your adoring,

wife.

Poopsy.

Come on Gigi.

I�m going to send a letter Ellen.

What do you say?

Can I mail that letter for you mrs Barrett?

Oh oh thank you harry but a little walk will do me good.

Stop.

Judy, don't fight. Your manners.

Oh I�m terribly sorry.

Oh why, mrs Barrett how nice to see you.

Oh I�m Raymond.

Oh now surely you must remember.

That divine cocktail party at your apartment.

Oh you'll give the most wonderful parties.

-Thank you. -You know I adore people who know how to give good parties .

Such wonderful therapy don't you think?

-I�m giving one this afternoon, do come. -Oh, fine, fine.

-Oh around five. -Will do, bye-bye.

Say goodbye to the pretty lady Judy.

You idiot.

Well I know you snowed lottie but I�m so desolate whenever James is away,

and parties are such wonderful therapy.

You will?

Bless you.

Ellen I do you should stop fussing around and make some canapes.

-Canapes? -Hello Carly oh of course it's me.

Oh you're sweet. Canapes.

Well I know I�m an angel for calling you.

How else could I invite you to cocktails?

-Oh cocktails. -Today naturally.

No, come as you are.

Oh, Carly.

Oh well. Around five then.

All right mrs Barrett, canapes. You just hadn't told me.

I have to tell her everything.

Oh, Gigi see you know Dotty's number?

Oh Phillip�s letter.

Gigi...

Gigi, did you take phillip�s letter?

I put it in the letter to James.

Oh, I coudn't.

Wait, wait.

Oh mrs Barrett you didn't tell me how many guests to expect for cocktails.

Mrs Barrett how many?

Mrs Barrett don't you feel good, can I get you something?

-The last me please. -Oh mrs Barrett.

Oh Ellen did you ever do something terrible I mean really terrible like,

like mail the wrong letter to the wrong person.

-Is that all? -All?

Oh just the whole world crumbling that's all.

Well why don't you go to the post office and ask them to get back your letter?

Go to the post office and ask to get it back.

Oh sure.

-I wonder if you could help me. -You'll have to wait your turn lady.

That'll be one dollar.

Please you've got to help me.

-What's your problem, miss? -Missis, that's my problem.

I mailed a letter to my husband by mistake.

I mean I said some awful things I was very angry.

-And now you're not angry anymore. -No I�m not.

oh glad to hear that why don't you go home and write your husband,

a nice letter and send everything right here?

But it wouldn't.

You see, he has a very bad temper piece couldn't I just have my letter back.

-If it hasn't left the post office. -Well look and see.

All right you take this form to the desk and fill it out.

-I just want my letter. -I know that lady.

That's why you have to fill out the form.

Put the full address here and down here put the location of the box where it was mailed.

Oh it was the box on the corner near my apartment.

What corner? You have to put down what corner.

There's a pen on the desk. Next.

WANTED BY THE FBI

-Please I must have my letter back. -Maybe you ought to wire your husband.

Why can't I have my letter back?

This is a government office isn't it I�m a taxpayer.

So my lady. I�m sorry lady, that letter is government property now.

-No, it's my letter. -Sent to Toronto Canada.

I�m sorry lady that may have left for the airport a half an hour ago.

Thank you.

I made canapes for 20. Will that be enough?

Mrs Barrett?

-Mrs Barret... -His life is in my hands.

Now look mrs Barret you mustn't let yourself get all upset.

Mr Barret has just gone off on one of his business,

trips the way he does now and then he'll come back.

Now look, my cousin hazel went through an experience just like this.

Her husband was a lineman for the telephone company.

Three nights running here's a dream that he grabbed hold of a high tension wire.

-Telephone company. -Nothing came of it mrs Barrett.

Hazel's husband got fired.

-Ellen the door. -Uh you'll be all right.

-Long distance operator. -Operator I want,

the offices of Barrett Twining and Moore in Toronto.

-That's in Canada. -Do you know the number?

No I don't have the number.

Ellen I�m nice to see you, come on in gang.

Oh, don't tell me the firsts one here?

-Oh that's just fine. -Oh don't mind at all.

Wait did you see this apartment is absolutely divine.

And there it is martini time.

Oasis.

Where is the ravishing mrs Barrett?

After all we can't drink without our charming hostess.

-Where's mrs Barrett? -Oh mrs Barrett is in her bedroom telephoning.

Telephoning?

Oh now is that any way to treat starb parts guest?

Uh perhaps just one, to settle the dust.

Thank you.

Marty how nice to see you, I missed you at the television. Hello Mary.

Thank you operator, will you ring through please?

Oh please let James be there please let him,

still be alive don't let phillip's plan work.

Oh there you are. Forgive not knocking darling but I knew you'd be dying of thirst.

-Please I�m telephony. -What were you needing, I�m here.

-Oh alone at last. -Don't be silly.

-That line is busy. -What? -The line is busy.

-Shall we try later and call you back? -Oh, yes.

-Yes please. -Come to the party darling it's beginning to float.

-Besides, nice people want to see you. -I�m waiting for a call.

God wait life is fleeting life is short.

Don't say that.

But life is short and the particle behind us empty follows in the sand.

Madame is here.

You did come as you were.

Hello nice to see you both.

-Lassie you look divine. -I�m a wreck.

I'm going strictly on nerves and vitamin pills.

My doctor says I�m a medicalimpossibility.

He's thinking of taking up astrology.

So this is what happens when the boss is away, mrs B.

-We'll have to do this more over. -The boss away?

Now why didn't you tell me that when we were alone.

-Have a yummy. -Oh, please. Please that for me.

-Hello? -I'm ready now for your call to Toronto. -Thank you.

-Go ahead. -Hello? - Harry Tweinig here,

-Barrett Twining and Moore here, who's calling? -His wife.

I mean, I�m mrs James Barrett and I�d like to speak to my husband please

-He flew to Toronto this morning. -Oh mrs Barrett...

We've been trying to contact the New York office.

Mr Barrett hasn't arrived.

He was listed as a passenger on the plane but he never registered at his hotel.

Hello. Hello.

-You've been away from us too long. -Your drink is warming darling.

The liquor store sent this over.

I�ll taken Harry.

Oh, miss Barrett I�m sorry but that letter that you sent to mr Barrett this morning,

it came back due to insufficient postage.

Oh what a shame Harry.

Will you give me the letter please?

I�ll see to the extra postage.

It's all taken care of, I put on the extra stamps and mailed it again.

I knew you'd want mr Barrett to get it just as soon as possible.

Here's the evening paper.

You have probably been wondering about our friend in the other piano.

Rather than disturb him we simply buried him in his piano.

It was rather moving really like going down with one ship.

And now I shall play the minute waltz.

That was the fastest I ever played it.

I suppose you've noticed that this piano has only one pedal.

Because of my speed, they had to put in an automatic transmission.

Next week I should be back with more music and,

further explanatory comments. Until then, good night.