Original subtitles

TUFFI FILMS PRESENTS

IN COOPERATION WITH YLE, NORDISK FILM,

FINNISH FILM FOUNDATION, CREATIVE EUROPE MEDIA

A FILM BY JEN NI TOIVONIEMI

The Gulf of Finland, variable winds at 1 - 5 m/s.

Isolated showers but good visibility. At night...

Oh no, Mitzi is smoking.

- I'll help you with this. - Thanks.

Hi!

Thank you, I still get nauseous sitting in the back.

Yes, I started again, but I'm going to quit.

Thank god for the weekend.

Natali, this island trip was such a great idea.

I love being with you girls. I couldn’t handle a birthday party now.

- What happened? - Nothing.

Just work stuff.

Oh yeah...

I'm just going to do this for the whole weekend.

- You should have a birthday party... - No way! Don't even mention it.

- Let's just have fun. - Oh yeah!

Girls...

Sorry about that.

It's okay.

Try it!

- It's going to fall down. - It'll. last the weekend.

I got to take a leak.

Great... What do we do now?

- Don't hold it so high. - Be careful.

Don't damage the material, brother.

Put it there. Pull!

I wonder where Mitzi's hipster husband is.

- Did you message him? - They're coming!

They're coming...

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

This is wonderful!

- No... It's a surprise. - Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

- This is a surprise! - Happy birthday.

- Happy birthday. - Hurray, hurray, hurray!

Piss off!

Hey, Mitzi...

- Should I run after her? - No!

Mitzi!

- Let's go. - Shall I take the bag?

Lime Mitzi!

Mitzi!

Mitzi, come on, come back!

- This was a bust. - What did you expect?

Let's greet each other at least.

Hi! It's nice to see you.

Hi.

- Can you help me with our stuff? - Sure.

Hi, Veronika.

Okay. Don't worry. She'll calm down soon.

- Are you sure? - That's Mitzi.

- Let's tell them today. - Did dad leave the gas bottle there?

- Yes. - And did you get everything?

- Yeah. - Good.

I got to go. We'll try to make it there before dark.

- It doesn't get dark here. - Oh right...

See you soon.

- I was first here back in 2000. - You were like five years old.

Don't tease my little brother.

How about 10 years ago when Mitzi turned 25?

- That was a great weekend. - Let's have it again, then.

- It can't be 10 years already. - It is.

- We're all here. - Except your sister.

- Where's Veronika? - Her Majesty is too busy.

- Did she call you just now? - No.

I mean yes. She did.

Look.

She's all awkward. Look at her.

- Who called? Was it some guy? - No.

Look at her! She's blushing.

She's got a guy!

- How incredibly moving! - No, I don’t!

This is going to be at least as fun as 10 years ago.

- Or at least as bad as 20 years ago. - This is the drink of our tribe.

- Is our tribe worth this? - Cheers.

I would never replace you.

I'm not so sure about the ladies.

What are you talking about?

Well. Thinking about that legendary night

20 years ago that we spent with Mitzi and Veronika.

What about it?

Mitzi! Here you go.

Although we had -

the greatest encounter ever,

riding bikes in the summer night,

everything felt larger than life,

and Mr Writer describes it in his masterpiece...

Get to the point.

It was a mess. I don't know if it was worth all the pain.

Thank you.

Where's that hipster husband of yours?

I wonder if he's...

...sampling the finest whiskeys.

No, he's not.

- Sorry. I got more wood. - It’s okay. Thanks.

- Yeah... - I'm a little messed up right now.

Right.

I find this pretty weird too.

- But this is good. - Yeah.

Everyone has moved on.

I'm with Ulla and... you're married.

- Sorry! You okay? - Just startled me.

Sorry.-

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the wedding.

I mean...

Are we having this conversation now?

- I don't think we have to. - Me neither.

Maybe it's this birthday or... middle age.

You start going through all the crap in your life.

- Was it crap? - I didn't mean it like that.

You know...

I don't want to be as bad as the woman in your book.

- You read it? - Of course.

I loved it.

- Are you mad, Härde? - Of course I am.

- About what? - I saw you.

You can't go down that path again. Don’t do it. It's over.

You saw what? I'm not doing anything.

I haven't even talked to her in ages.

You're the smartest guy I know. How can you be this stupid?

It took me years to pull you back together.

Mitzi left, like she always does. She's married. It's over.

It's over. I know.

She left me. I was a wreck for three years.

I wrote her out of my system.

That didn't sound good but whatever...

I know it's too late.

You promise?

It's good that we talked. It cleared the air.

I promise.

What's so funny, brother?

What is it?

I look like a vegetable.

Okay»-

- Can someone get the glasses? - I'll do it.

I'm so hungry.

This is so good. Natali, will you marry me?

- This is so good. - Where is Lauri?

Can someone help me pour?

Wow, that's classy.

Well...

We have an announcement...

I'm just going to say it.

What the hell?

Is it coming here?

No way...

Thank you.

- You came. - Of course I did.

- On a plane? - I was in a hurry to see you.

- The queen has arrived. - The other one.

- This is Mitzi! - Nice to meet you.

Is that the Swedish guy from that Viking show?

- No... - He looks the same.

Hi!

- Hi, great to see you. - Everyone. This is Mikael.

This is Mikael.

- Hello! - Is it him?

- Hi there. - Hello.

Hi! My name is Natali.

I'm Veronika's half-sister.

It all happened so fast. It's a bit crazy.

Yeah, crazy.

Hello, darling.

If I go...

Shut up, Härde,

You didn't even take a ferry to Finland to see the former colony.

Yeah, was there something?

No, let's not talk about it now.

- What announcement? - It’s nothing. I mean...

- But it's not a big deal... - What?

- Really, it's nothing. - I'm so sorry we dragged you here.

No, don't worry about it!

Stop it!

I'm so sorry. I just wanted to throw you a party.

Just like 10 years ago. Why didn't you tell me?

Calm down! It's not so serious.

It's just a divorce.

I'm just a divorced middle-aged woman, for fuck's sake.

You know what's the worst part?

I'm exactly where I was 10 years ago.

I've done nothing with my life.

- We still have time. - No, we don't.

The ice caps are melting, we're all going extinct...

Civilization is falling and everything is going to burn!

I didn't mean to be all doom and gloom.

I'll pull through like always.

Everything is shit right now, but it won't last forever.

Nothing will.

Except you and me.

Everything seems to be going well for you.

Eh? You have a PhD and everything.

It won't matter when the world ends.

You've got that Viking over there. He might come in handy.

All right, give me a job, baby.

- This is simple enough for you. - Stop it.

I'm a great cook nowadays.

Although for you...

...I only made instant noodles.

- And nothing else. - Is that so?

That's not too good. It happened quite a few times.

Fuck...

The weathervane had fallen down. We put it back up.

Someone should fix everything around here.

- Or dad should sell this place. - Yeah.

It feels a bit like "Grey Gardens" in here.

You're not really going to sell it?

Should I turn on the grill?

Not yet. We'll go to the sauna first.

Absolutely. Right?

Yeah.

This is good.

Is everything okay?

- You seem tense. - I'm fine.

Seriously.

It's frustrating now that we're all together,

you all start acting like I'm 15 again.

Okay»-

You feel that way?

I'm sure it's this place.

I promise I'll try to act normal, but you should relax a bit.

Right. Sorry.

Rune.

I have to tell you...

I'm really happy that we've become such good friends.

Right.

Come here.

I'm sorry I was so melodramatic.

It's okay.

This is a pretty challenging situation.

Yes, it is.

- Maybe we should just leave. - Yeah.

I want to love a Russian girl.

I want to throw up in a samovar.

Cheers! Bottoms up!

That's right. Every other day I feel

I should just close my social media accounts.

On the other hand, I can't let them win.

You have to stick it out and stay visible.

We read the same articles, we sign the same petitions.

What's the point? If some company is just going to spy on us.

We should start a revolution.

Viva la revolucion!

Of course we should, but how do we do it?

- I don't know, but not like this. - Guys. In English, please.

- Veronika, more artichoke? - No thanks.

But give me one of those lamb chops.

- I thought you were a vegetarian. - Not anymore. I know, it's awful.

- But this is organic, right? - I guess so.

I'm on a... We're on a paleo diet.

- Oh yeah, how interesting. - Hey!

- No, I really mean it! - Try it!

- Try it. You'll feel better. - No, no!

- No, I was honest! - Just try it. One week.

It's really funny. Hömmeli and Hämmeli.

That's nice. Sweet. Hömmeli and Hämmeli.

Why don't you frame that phrase?

A good idea.

- First one down. - Seriously? Okay.

In there. Thanks. Natali?

I did. Come on.

Shouldn't we take pictures?

We already have plenty of those. Give it to me.

- I have this meditation app... - Oh, stop it!

It helps me calm down...

I guess I can meditate without it.

- Härde. - You have to testify in court

when my crazy ex uses this as proof of my irresponsibility.

- Using your kid as an excuse... - Indeed.

- It's my fault if you lose your kid? - Completely your fault.

- But what if there's an emergency? - What emergency?

- A nuclear meltdown or something. - Think about it.

If that plant explodes, we would all die instantly.

- Why would you say that? - Anything could happen.

I'm sure they would sound an alarm on the radio.

- Radio? - No, they would blare the sirens.

- What sirens? - The sirens!

I don't know if you can hear them here...

One of us should have a phone.

In case something happens.

Seriously! The world is not going to end if we turn off our phones.

Who cares, there's no signal.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

What happened was that Mitzi and Veronika went to see

this awful movie in the cinema.

And Mitzi was so enraged

about the film that

she told everybody that don't go see the film.

So we met at the cinema door.

Then they cycled through the city for the rest of the night.

Super romantic.

Then Juhana and Mitzi started their decade-long relationship.

- What? - I thought it was you.

No, Veronika called me because you didn't have a phone.

You asked me to ask Juhana out with you.

- Because I mixed up their names. - What?

Are you being serious? Are you screwing with me?

It's not a big deal.

What the fuck? Why didn't you tell me?

- What? I thought it was funny. - It's very funny.

That's the good thing about social media.

If you had had Facebook back then, none of this would have happened.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

That was some crazy shit earlier.

Imagine if things had turned out all different.

Take it easy, boys. The real party is tomorrow.

I'll take care of him for you. Good night.

Fuck it. Let's take the E.

Do people still call it that? Molly?

What E?

You mean the one we bought last year? You brought it?

The E we never had the time to do.

You were too busy playing badminton or writing...

- Well, now I'm not. - I don't know...

Not sure if this is the place. Or the group. Or the time.

Fuck that. Now's the time.

If we do it, we won't sleep all night.

- What the fuck? - What?

Show me.

- Is that mould? - For fucks sake.

There was nothing here back then!

The first Finnish settlers were in Swedish colonies.

- Can't have been in the 1600s. - Yes, they were!

- I'll look it up. - Please do. Google it.

That's right, you can't. You'll just have to believe me.

For once I know something you don't. Cheers to that.

Fine, Finns traveled to America then.

But I was saying...

Finns founded utopian communities there at the beginning of the 1900s.

And I think it was Finn Town in Georgia that survived till the 60s.

Juhana just had to compensate. Couldn't bear it.

Yeah, he couldn't bear it. I noticed.

But you're our brainiac. Even if I know stuff you don't.

- But really, that's interesting. - What is?

They were so idealistic!

A new land, a new society, a new world...

just a couple of Indians in the way.

Dear friends! If I were to start a utopia,

I'd do it with you!

- We should start one. - What?

A new society. Here on the island.

It'll happen anyway when capitalism peaks and destroys everything.

Soon it's the Wild West. Pillaging and chaos as it all falls apart.

If there's anything left after the previous generation.

Mitzi, you're such a positive person.

- I just thought I'd say what... - Sure, sure.

But you have a point. Maybe we should practice our pioneering skills.

I fucking hate tents.

Mum says I quit the Scouts after the first camping trip.

Poor little Juhana.

We're designing SD-printable small houses at uni.

They can be set up anywhere.

What? I don't get it.

SD-printable small houses.

That's far out. You live in the future, man.

- Or you live in the past. - Good point.

Okay, okay.

If we were to start a utopia, who would you be?

- I'd be a shaman. - That's right.

You'd be a shaman.

Or medicine woman. You don't like being called a witch.

I always wanted to be a cowboy.

Really, a cowboy?

- Jesus. - Okay, Härde’s turn.

- Tell us! - I guess... a saloon owner.

Yes! And Juhana would be a priest.

- Juhana the priest! He got serious. - A little bit.

Look at how beautiful the sky is.

Isn't the colour a bit unnatural?

Like something's burning.

Is the nuclear plant on that island?

You can't see it from this far away. I think.

They say the chances of another Chernobyl are 50%.

What do you mean, 50%? In what time span?

I don't remember. Pretty soon, I guess.

But humans can survive anything.

There's plenty of people living in Chernobyl nowadays.

Drunken lad would love to put his hand

on every girl's shoulder, every girl's shoulder.

Drunken lass loves to put her hand

on every boy's shoulder.

What will the drunken lad do

with a lady in the house, lady in the house?

What will the drunken lass do

with a master in fire house?

Brings in a maid and pays her well.

It makes life easier, makes fife easier.

Or brings in a man and pays him well.

It makes life easier.

Well done! It was really good.

You two singing that song is pretty meta.

I'm not quite sure my neighbourhood compares to his cultured suburb.

Oh, please!

Are you saying you're the only one with street cred?

Life wasn't so rosy in our parts, either.

Mitzi from the block!

- You're a 35-year-old Master of Arts. - Screw you.

Janne still hasn't learned to hold his liquor.

Janne, maybe you should go to bed.

- I'll take a leak. - Bring me a beer, will you?

Is that how it goes?

It pisses the rich off

when {he drunkard is pretty, the drunkard Is pretty...

- I love that sound. - Me too.

- Please don't fuck him. - What?

You just got divorced, but please don't go to Juhana for comfort.

Oh, please.

Under all that sarcastic intellectual bullshit, he's a sensitive guy.

What are you going on about? I didn't come here to fuck.

Another drink!

What?

Um, yeah.

I think I'm off to bed.

- Already? - Yeah, I'm getting tired.

Maybe we should go too.

Damn, I just poured these. Let's drink them, OK?

I still have this... I'll go for a smoke first.

- Good night! - Night.

My cigs are there somewhere...

I think it's really cool that we can be here like this.

Like how?

Present.

We haven't had that for a while.

Well...

Lauri didn't really want me to keep in touch with you.

I figured.

But don't you think that our... shared history...

- Don't you think it's... - What?

More important than just some relationships.

"Some relationships." I was married for three years.

You know what I mean.

I was really...

I really appreciate what you said about my book.

- I mean it... - Yeah, yeah.

It's especially important to me that you... That you approve of it.

Of course I do. You're a fucking Finlandia prize nominee!

That I am.

- Not the winner, though. - Come on!

Yeah, well.

Not sure what to think about that revelation, though.

Please, not that again. I just thought it’d be... a funny story.

- I was your mistake. - Oh, come on.

OK, listen.

I should know if I made a mistake

because I've made so many in my life.

No, we can't.

Fuck, I'm never going to get over you.

Hey.

These feelings, they're not real.

Ifs just this fucking place and situation.

If I feel it, it's true.

There's no past or returning to something.

We're the same people we were then.

No, we're not. Are we?

I think that compared to you... Compared to us...

Compared to us, everything else is trivial.

Mitzi, I don't exist without you.

Wow.

That's maybe the most beautiful thing

or at least the most pathetic thing anyone has ever said to me.

It's a little hard to be eloquent right now.

In the state I'm in.

Forgive me.

- It's okay. - Please.

One, two, three, four, five, six...

I tried to come to bed but Janne was there.

Mikael.

- Your pancakes are amazing! - Thank you.

- I need a hair of the dog. - Saloonkeeper sampled his own wares.

Quite possibly, Mr Holy Man.

If I confess my sins, will you take away this infernal headache?

The pastor prescribes ten Hail Marys and ten little boys.

- Stop it. - You can't say anything these days.

What are you talking about?

Why is our utopia like this?

Utopia, dystopia... same difference.

Well, Mikael has been invited to The Royal Dramatic Theatre.

So, no more Hollywood?

No.

Wasn't the Cambridge offer quite a big deal?

Yes, but it wasn't really for me...

- A tenure track, come on. - Yeah.

But you found a place for both of you.

- But is it as good? - Yes.

I know it's none of my business, but...

You'll just give up everything and push out blond babies for this hunk?

- Härde, please. - Okay...

- Ulla, for you. - No thanks.

Come on, loosen up. Have some morning booze.

- Morning booze is good for you. - I'm good, thanks.

- Take it. - Here, give it to me.

We're waiting.

And we're expecting.

What?

- Congrats! - Congratulations.

Seriously, you had sex with him? My condolences.

Hey, congratulations.

- Congratulations. - I wanted to tell you.

Sorry about the morning booze. Congratulations.

- Congratulations, this is great! - Thanks!

I'm pretty shocked and disappointed that you didn't tell me.

Well, this is quite new.

I didn't realise we were going to announce it already. But yeah.

- Of course you'd tell us. - Of course!

Why didn't we tell them?

I didn't want to interrupt their moment...

Why is their moment more important than ours?

- Come on, a baby. - Come on, our love.

Maybe we shouldn't tell them at all.

- Maybe we shouldn't. - Maybe not.

I wanted you to have a perfect weekend.

I know, thanks.

There's just a lot going on. I'll row.

About Stockholm...

One thing that I thought about was that its easier to visit from there.

It'd be much closer to you and everyone.

- But for real, it's no Cambridge. - No.

These are way too small.

Oh no, this one's stuck.

That was some crazy shit.

It's huge that you'll be a dad too.

It's kind of crazy shit for me too.

So it was an accident?

- Well, not exactly... - But you hadn't planned it?

We had discussed it.

Ulla is great and probably way too good for you...

But?

But are you in love with her? Like, do you feel it here?

Don't you think you might be projecting something on to me?

Don’t start on that psychoanalysis shit.

Your longest relationship lasted two months.

And that wasn’t even with Nella's mum.

- Is that how you see me? - That's how everyone sees you.

- I'm not that clown from your book. - Then who are you? Tell me.

You think my relationships are a joke

and yours are bigger than life itself.

Can you check there's enough wood in the sauna?

Yeah, sure.

- Thanks, Juhana. - Sorry. I didn't mean it.

You're so hunched up.

Sweetie, you're so tense.

Aw, that bowl.

You always wanted to lick it clean as a child, remember?

Your hair and your little round cheeks were covered with dough.

Is there yeast in it?

A lot of people are sensitive to it.

50 annoying!

Well done!

60 go!

Run, run!

Run! 60 go go!

Shit!

I'm going to throw.

- Of course it was a run! - No, it wasn't!

Run!

- Go and get it! 60! - Come on!

It went through to the other side! Do you see it?

Shit!

- Ow! - Are you hurt?

Just a stupid stick. Fuck, that hurts! - Show me.

- It's fine. - Is everything okay over there?

Yes!

I'm sorry that Ulla told you...

You thought you'd have a baby in secret?

- No, but... the timing... - Sucks.

I'll be happy for you later.

That you get to experience this with someone.

We were so relieved, when...

When we lost it.

Then we knew we had to break up. But...

Sometimes I wonder what kind of a family we would've been.

Yeah...

We can't do this anymore.

You're right, we can't.

Are those the kind of shorts young people wear?

But you're not so young anymore.

- Hey, stop it. - What is it?

- You still behave like you own me. - Hey, come on.

Let me get this straight. That possibility is off the table.

- I didn't mean that... - Hush.

I'm not interested.

But I...

I got the feeling that you didn't mean to tell people yet.

Well, we had to tell eventually.

But today? On Mitzi's birthday.

Well, perhaps it's not so easy for me to be here,

throwing the perfect birthday party for the love of his life.

- Should I talk to Juhana? - Don't.

Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes it makes me sad.

Juhana doesn’t realise what he has.

We do have fun together. It's wonderful.

When it's just the two of us

or we're with other friends, he's totally different.

He's more grown-up.

Argh, everything I try to say sounds so ridiculous.

Don't worry about what other people think.

I just want you to be happy.

- Catch anything? - One bream.

I gave it to a seagull. The fish are all gone.

- What's with the ladies‘ sauna? - I asked the same thing.

- We used to go together. - Always!

- We're so old. It sucks. - It sucks.

We're probably too old to catch fish, too.

Härde!

- What? - Come here.

What is it?

Remember this?

Of course I do.

- Let's not do this anymore. - Do what?

Please, don't.

We've played this game for twenty years.

- No more gazes like that. - Like what?

No, I mean it.

Tell me something real.

What is "real"? You say something real.

Who are you to speak to anyone like that?

I hate my job so much that I get high before I go to work.

OK.

I don't know if moving to Sweden is the right thing to do.

I drink too fucking much

and pick up girls who are way too young.

I work so much that I can't even remember what sex is like.

The mother of my child hates me. I haven’t seen my kid for a month.

I'm still not sure if I even want to have kids.

Listen to yourself.

You're not saying anything.

You're always so fucking wholesome.

Who are you really, Veronika?

Don't turn your back on me.

What do you want? What's "real" enough for you?

That I often feel anxious?

Or that I don't think I deserve this air that I breathe?

Or that I lie awake at night and want to claw my face off?

- Is it real enough? - Something like that, yeah.

Hey, could someone help me In the kitchen?

I'll be right there!

OK

Since we got down to business, there's one more thing.

You should think about what you gained

from imagining you were in love with me all those years.

What do you mean "imagining"?

What are you on about?

What I gained was a shitty feeling.

It was pretty safe for you to tell yourself and others

that you were tragically in love with me while fucking around.

- Veronika, can you please come? - Coming. I've got to go.

You can't say that and then just leave!

It was safe for me, too.

- I think I'll go as well. - Fuck" off, you guys.

Hey...

- Howdy, boys. - Hello, hello.

Look. What the fuck is that?

- I wonder what killed it. - Old age, maybe.

I guess fish die of old age, too.

Boys, hello!

What... Hey, hey. hey!

Oh my god. Are you okay?

- I love it. - Amazing.

Bottoms up. Cheers.

- That's why I said." - Don't hold it.

For real. I'll do this.

Wow, looks great.

Okay, keep your head straight.

Is this a funny joke or a terrible joke? - Both.

- What? - No, it's been a good day.

Fair maiden, you grew up

in your father's hut.

Like a beautiful flower

on a green meadow,

Your cunt is like a cat's cunt compared to mine.

Your cunt is like a cat's cunt compared to mine.

They sell 15 cunts like yours for the price of mine.

They sell 15 cunts like yours for the price of mine.

Happy birthday!

Make a wish.

Your pussy is like a cat's pussy compared to mine.

And you can buy 15 pussies for the price of my pussy.

A day in a spa. This is fucking expensive!

Take a plate, Janne. Let’s give her some cake.

Does anyone else want cake?

You, you. What about you?

I'm handsy? What are you on about?

- Are you saying I'm a MeToo guy, eh? - Well, you're a bit of an old git.

Hey, hold on a second.

Ladies, please tell me, do you think I'm handsy?

- Not handsy per se, but... - But what?

You do touch us in a possessive way.

In a possessive way?

I'm a tactile person. I give hugs to Juhana, too.

But you also lift us up and move us out of the way.

- Move you? - You lift us up in the air.

- Pat us on the head. - Yeah, okay.

And... do you find it distressing?

No. You've always been like that.

Yeah, we're used to it.

Yeah well, maybe I have to go to a rehabilitation camp...

- It's not that serious. - This is deep.

I don't even notice it.

See? That's how they treat old, stuffy gits.

Keep your mouth shut.

- Are they cold? - Yeah.

Yes! Take all of them.

Ready!

You should know by now that cardboard is not water-proof!

Pull me up!

Pull, pull. Fuck, ifs algae or something.

Wait, wait.

- Was it cold? - Yeah.

Look.

- Honey, what's the matter? - It’s alive. It's suffering.

- Eww, shit! - We have to do something.

Fuck, that's disgusting.

- A mouse. - Yuck.

- Smack it. - Hit it.

For fuck's sake.

- Ulla, what... - Don't touch!

Yuck, don't touch!

He was almost a Finnish rock star back in the day.

And now that our paradise

has frozen under snow and ice.

Now that it feels like winter will never end.

I'm glad that I have you,

that you stay here with me,

that! can love you until the end of time.

I'm glad I could give you the remains of my fife,

that you accepted me the way I once was.

In our private summer land,

on a lakeshore on the sand,

we found out that life can be grand.

Yeah, it was a bit cheesy, but...

Hey, for real.

- You were good. - Wonderful!

Mikael, it's your turn to spin the bottle.

I understand the man. He doesn't want to.

Truth it is.

The categories are: love, sex, and shame.

I choose love.

Juhana, no, no.

- Wasn't it... - Hey, that's not funny.

When did you realise you were in love with Ulla?

But you had the...

- The encounter. - Yeah, at the Flow Festival.

- When? - At Flow. Nick Cave was performing.

By then, we had been dating for a year.

Like I said, I don't remember.

"Flow, Nick Cave..."

Ulla, come!

Janne.

- Hey, Janne. - You want to humiliate me.

You're embarrassed because you're dating Little Janne.

You're ashamed of us.

No, I'm not.

You're so fucking transparent.

You jump and dance around them like a teenager.

And you laugh at Härde's every joke.

Hey, not here.

Someone might come here.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, that was awful,

I'm so sorry.

What do you want from me?

Huh? I want you.

For real. All of you. Do you get it?

Bjöirn Borg is shit-faced.

Mission accomplished.

Juhana!

Janne!

- Darling, do you want a drink? - Actually not.

Would you have guessed that we're still here?

I suppose I would have.

But in that scenario, I'd be on a break from my world tour.

- I'd be only visiting. - Right.

But you would've stayed humble enough to come and see us losers.

Of course.

- But you'd all be cooler, too. - Oh, right.

I'd be a famous photographer.

I wouldn’t do brand photo-shoots in a content marketing team.

You wouldn't have to. There'd be a thing called journalism,

and people would read.

And Juhana would have won the Finlandia Prize.

Imagine how anxious he'd be then.

- He'd be hyper anxious. - Fucking anxious.

I don't know...

I always imagined I'd have a kid by now. Or a few.

But you've still got time.

Actually I don't.

What?

Yeah...

Not gonna happen.

I'm sorry. - I'm glad I was able to tell someone.

I feel better.

Pretty hardcore.

Are you okay?

I mean, how are you?

It's been a shitty year.

I don't know...

The kid would've turned out to be a right-wing hockey player.

Would I have been able to love him after all?

No, you wouldn't have.

So...

of course you would have.

- You asked... - It didn't break because of that.

- What the fuck? - No, fuck. Come on. A phone.

- Do we get our phones back? - No, no.

The monk film was horrible. People laughed in the cinema.

- He directed the Rocky movies. - No, no.

Come on.

What is going on here?

Should you go after him? He seemed upset.

Maybe you shouldn't give me relationship advice.

Unlike you, I don't throw myself at men, who don't want me.

- Sorry, I don't know why I said that. - Fuck you, Veronika.

- I'm sorry, I'm drunk. - No, I don't buy that anymore.

If you had the vagina to face your emotions

instead of being passive-aggressive,

perhaps we'd all be a bit happier.

You don't have to be perfect all the time.

I only used to lick that bowl because I knew you found it funny.

All I ever wanted was for you to see me.

- I'm your sister, not her. - Calm down, Natali.

Fuck, Mitzi. Everyone loves you, and you don't even see it.

We all try to make you happy and worry about your next tantrum.

Do you have any idea how much we sugar-coat the world for you?

I'm such an idiot

for not being able to say...

...that...

...that I'm in love with Janne. And now I may have lost him.

I want all of you.

Fuck, you always do that.

How about a drink, sister-in-law?

I keep forgetting Janne is an adult.

If you can call a thirty-year-old an adult.

I'm still bothered about what you said about my date with Mitzi.

Are you serious? That's what bothers you?

You knew our names, right?

Yeah.

Did you... do it on purpose?

- Yeah. - No!

- Hey! - Eh?

- I don't remember. It was so long ago. - Yes, it was.

You always talk about that night. How can you not remember?

This has nothing to do with you, Ulla.

- Wow... - But he has a point.

After that night you had to know which one I liked.

What?

I mixed up their names, but you knew.

- Well? - Maybe.

It never would have worked. Härde was a total mess back then.

- Juhana was better for you. - How can you be that arrogant?

- But I was right... - Veronika.

You were Juhana's love and I was Härde's.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Maybe I'm not so good with feelings

and maybe I was a mess, but take some responsibility!

- You jerked me around for years. - That was 20 years ago.

Regardless. You had a pretty big role in all of this.

In all our lives.

How can you assume to know everything? Listen to me!

- Listen to me for once! - I am listening.

How can you presume to know everything?

- Are you done? - Yes.

It's pretty unreasonable that you want me to take responsibility.

I've been doing that for all of you.

- Listen to yourself! - Do you hear yourself?

- Yes! - Just listen for once!

I don't even know what we’re talking about.

- We're talking about principles. - You're being ridiculous.

You were always above everyone else,

but I never realised how cold you are.

I've only wanted the best for all of you.

Can't we forget about this ancient drama

and focus on Mitzi's birthday party.

- Oh, how wonderful! - I never wanted a party!

Not now, not ten years ago. I felt horrible then too.

I just can't be happy in the way you want me to be right now.

So fucking leave me alone.

It was funny when...

...you called...

...I was about to ask you out.

- Back then. - Seriously?

But then you said I should go out with Mitzi.

And you did.

Because you asked.

Ever thought about making your own decisions?

What do you want in life?

- No... - No.

Why is it so quiet?

What if we're the last people on Earth?

Fuck, you scared me.

Come with me.

Where are we going?

Over here.

What is this?

I want you to hit me.

Oh god... Fuck this.

- Please hit me. - Stop it. This is ridiculous.

It would make me feel better.

- You haven't done anything - Please, hit me.

What are you going to do?

Oh, fuck...

You feel better now?

No, I don't. It just hurts.

Hi.

Maybe I did it on purpose.

I really don't know...

I just felt like I was...

I love you.

Darling...

You're the dearest thing in the world to me.

You know how I see us?

As old ladies.

As fucking old ladies.

We're sitting on a porch while the world is burning.

We have shotguns and moonshine.

And we're drinking. A lot.

Ifs just you and me.

- Always together. - That sounds nice.

Good night. Go back inside. I'll sit here for a while.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

Good night.

If the baby is born...

...will I feel something?

What have you done?

Fuck, this is tight.

I'm sorry. I don't know...

What?

Babushka from Chernobyl.

- Coffee? - Thanks.

- Coffee is ready. - Thanks.

Can I eat this last yoghurt?

Leave it to Mitzi for when she wakes up.

The boat drifted away. Luckily it got stuck in the reeds.

- Ta-dah! - All rig ht. Yes!

- Give it. - My precious.

Wait until we get to the mainland.

Wanna give it a try, Veronika?

- This has to be shut. - Right.

- Bye. - It was nice to see you. Take care.

Let's get going-

Thank you.

Does this make any sense?

FIRE IN NUCLEAR PLANT, DANGER AVERTED

Look. The kids fell asleep.

Translation: Saga Vera Oy