Original subtitles

Previously on Why Women Kill...

She deserved a beautiful death.

You put her to sleep?

Like she was a dog?

She was on the verge of so much suffering.

They all were. - They allwere?

The Elysian Park Garden Club can't be associated

with a public scandal.

That would be awkward.

Go ahead.

You don't want to keep your rich girlfriend waiting.

Scooter, I've been thinking.

How'd you like to come live with me?

Well, what about Carlo?

The doctors say it's like

he's trapped in his own body.

Catherine.

I brought you a present.

Your husband. Come on, Papa.

Home sweet home.

Did Scooter's rich lady friend hire you? - Yeah.

I thought you were going to turn me into the police.

You have murdered dozens of people.

There will be no more death!

There's going to be so many questions.

♪

Good morning, Mrs. Yost.

Mrs. Carol Yost had lived next door

to Alma Fillcot for 20 years.

And Alma had done everything she could

to befriend her neighbor.

She had invited Mrs. Yost to birthday parties,

to backyard barbecues

and to Christmas sing-a-longs.

But Mrs. Yost always declined

to attend any of Alma's gatherings.

Until the night the Fillcots threw a funeral.

Mrs. Yost was forced to attend this time, because, well...

...she was the guest of honor.

Shouldn't the hole be deeper?

I can't go any deeper.

There are pipes everywhere.

I... I don't...

Hey, grab her arms.

I'll get her legs.

Ready? - Yes. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Okay. Should we say a few words first?

No.

What if one of our neighbors decides

to take a midnight stroll?

Can we at least bury her with some flowers?

Oh, of course. Yes, that would be lovely.

Yes. Okay.

Yes. Flowers...

No, no, no. - Mm?

Not daisies. Mrs. Yost hated those.

How do you know that?

Oh. We talked once, over the fence.

About daisies? - Well...

flowers in general.

She used to grow orchids with her husband.

I didn't know that. - Yes.

She was full of all sorts of fascinating botanical opinions.

Oh. Did she ever say anything about my garden?

Hmm?

All these years,

I've always wondered what Mrs. Yost thought of it.

I think I can see someone coming in the distance.

Let's discuss this later.

Bertram.

What did she say?

Mrs. Yost thought your garden was common.

Common?

She felt that poppies and daisies were...

unambitious flowers.

Designed for gardeners with a more...

pedestrian taste.

She really said that?

Yes. I'm so sorry.

No. It's good.

It's good that I finally know.

I am now prepared to bury Mrs. Yost.

Okay.

As she watched Mrs. Yost's burial,

Alma's hurt feelings were soothed

by the most ironic of thoughts.

The woman who'd spent 20 years

looking down on her flowers...

would now spend eternity

looking up at them.

The next morning, Alma Fillcot awoke with a horrible thought.

She was now a woman with a secret.

This idea was so disturbing,

she failed to notice the colors of her world had changed

ever so slightly.

And everything was more vibrant than before.

Ah. Morning, my darling.

I'm cooking bacon and eggs.

You hungry?

Not terribly.

Perhaps you'd prefer, a-a muffin?

You've got corn or blueberry.

Do you really think that this is a day for muffins?

I'm pretending nothing happened.

That's what you wanted, right?

For us to go about how we were.

Don't touch me! - Ah.

Don't think that just because I helped you bury a body

I've forgotten the dozens of people that you have killed.

To forget something like that, I...

It might take a while.

Most certainly.

But in the meantime, we need to come up with a plan.

For what? - Well...

Mrs. Yost's friends will soon notice she's missing.

They'll ask questions,

and we need to have some answers.

I've been thinking about that.

I'm not so sure she had any friends.

I work out in my garden for several hours, every day.

I saw her go out. I saw her come home.

What I never saw was someone stopping by for a visit.

Hmm. Perhaps that's why she was always in a bad mood.

She was just lonely. - Not too lonely.

You know, in 20 years,

she never once asked me over for coffee?

Hmm.

Hello? - Ooh.

Am I interrupting?

Not at all. - No. No.

How are you two doing?

Oh, we're fine. - Yes.

Everything's fine...

Yes, your mother and I reconciled last night.

Quite beautifully. - Hmm.

Ah!

Just like that?

Given what Daddy did?

Deirdra, you know...

this is our marriage,

and we'll see to our problems as we see fit.

We don't owe anyone an explanation.

Not even our beloved daughter.

Okay.

I'm going to take a quick shower and then go to work.

All right. Ah. Mm.

Did something happen to Mrs. Yost?

Hmm?

Why do you ask?

I just passed by her house

and Rocco's in there barking like crazy.

The dog.

So, on to today's main business.

We have an opening for a new member.

Any suggestions? - Oh...

I nominate Alma Fillcot.

Yes, I know. She's just a veterinarian's wife.

But she is very, very nice.

Fine. Alma Fillcot.

Who else?

I nominate Ada Coy.

I'm dying to see the inside of her house.

We don't want Ada.

I heard she's having the tackiest affair. - With who?

She's sleeping with her dermatologist.

Well, I guess that's one way to cure an itch.

Rita...

One quick question.

Oh, ladies, this is Carlo's daughter, Catherine.

She's helping me look after him.

Uh, we were just wrapping up here,

so if you can wait till we're done...

Actually, this is a question for your club.

You see, I was doing my Papa's taxes,

trying to figure out what's deductible,

and I found this file marked

"Garden Club Expenses." Hmm.

Rita, for the past eight months

you've written checks to the East LA Realty Group.

They say they manage several apartment buildings

in Chinatown.

Does your club have offices

in a Chinatown apartment?

Not that we're aware of.

I have no idea where those checks came from.

But, surely, you must know who lives in the apartment

you're renting.

Her dermatologist, perhaps?

Rita, if you'd like us to leave...

No, stay.

Yes, I've been renting that apartment.

In secret, because...

Carlo drinks. - What?

I needed a place to go where I'd be safe from his violent rages.

Are you saying he strikes you?

How dare you? My father would never hit anyone.

Oh, poor Catherine. I should have told you years ago,

but I was trying to protect you.

Oh, she's lying.

You're lying. - You poor thing.

I know this is painful to hear.

Ladies, for Catherine's sake,

let's not dwell on her father's crimes.

Let's just make his last days as peaceful as possible.

Oh, Rita. You should have told us

what you've been going through.

I... - Yes, just know we're here for you now.

Oh, bless you.

Bless you all.

Have a good day.

If that dog doesn't shut up, he's going to have

the whole neighborhood pounding on her door.

He's probably just hungry.

I should go feed him.

Not that way, we'll be seen.

We'll go around the back. - Ah.

Shh.

Huh.

Well, he... can't be hungry.

There's still food in his bowl.

Rocco...

Hello. Hello.

Oh. Hello. That's a good boy.

You weren't hungry, were you?

You were lonely. Hmm?

Bertram.

Look at this room.

What about it?

Oh...

the antiques.

The art.

Mrs. Yost had positively exquisite tastes.

Hmm. Well, don't be too impressed.

Remember, this was a woman

who always acted like she was too good for you.

Yes. Well, now I know why.

She was.

Mm.

What is that scent?

Her perfume.

Still lingering.

I said don't touch me. - You touched first.

Should I answer it? - And say what?

"Mrs. Yost can't come to the phone.

She's buried beneath my begonias"?

We need to get out of here.

Fine. We'll have to take Rocco with us.

Really? - Yes.

I'm certainly not leaving him here all alone.

If we bring him home, Dee is going to ask questions.

Then we'll tell her that Mrs. Yost took a trip,

and she asked us to look after him.

You know...

we could tell all the neighbors that Mrs. Yost went away.

Better still...

we could arrange for some of them to see her leave.

You don't mean...

Well, you're about her size, aren't you?

Oh. Bertie, you're brilliant.

Yes. - No.

We'll need to pick a destination.

Some place she could plausibly drive to.

Someone she might visit.

Hang on. But...

what happens when she doesn't arrive?

Well, that's the beauty part.

They'll start to look for her,

miles and miles away from our front yard.

Oh, my.

Didn't I marry a clever girl?

Uh...

I guess I'll just have two eggs, over hard.

You'll have to order more than that,

since I'm buying you breakfast.

What? Now why would you do that?

After what you did for me last night, I owe you.

You think so?

I do.

By the way,

Scooter called this morning to apologize.

Okay. And, uh...

What did he have to say for himself?

Said he couldn't sleep a wink last night

'cause he felt so guilty.

So he got me roses,

a dozen of them.

A dozen, huh?

Hey.

What's with the face?

I was just thinking.

You know, if I wanted to say I'm sorry to a girl,

I wouldn't just send roses.

I would take her out to dinner. You know?

Somewhere fancy.

We can't go out in public.

His rich lady friend would find out.

But does she have spies in Burbank?

Or Long Beach?

I mean, there's lots of out-of-the-way places

he could take you.

She pays his bills.

He's got to be extra careful. - Maybe.

You know, but when I'm nuts about a gal,

oh, I want to show her off.

Let everybody see how lucky I am.

Guess he thinks different.

What are you saying?

Scooter's embarrassed to be seen with me?

I didn't say that.

Scooter likes me.

A lot.

If you say so.

I'll have the eggs and bacon and some waffles...

since you're paying.

Have I reached the Golden Iron Hotel?

Yes, uh, my name is Mrs. Carol Yost.

I'm taking a trip up north to visit my sister.

I was hoping to stay at your lovely hotel.

I'd arrive tonight, and I'd stay till Sunday.

Sure, I'll hold.

Oh. Um, you should find a suitcase and start packing.

A suitcase? - If Mrs. Yost went

on a trip, she would pack a suitcase.

It would be in her car when they find it.

Ah. I didn't think of that.

You've gotten away with how many murders?

Honestly, I don't know how you managed without me.

Yes, I'm here.

Oh, wonderful.

Well, I'm leaving now, so I should be there by dinner.

All right. Bye-bye.

And we're packing... - Yes. Yes. Yes.

Hello.

Hi, Scoot. It's me.

Oh. Hey, doll.

Still loving those roses I sent you?

Of course. They're beautiful.

Yeah, I just wanted to make sure we're good, you and me.

Yeah, about that...

I was thinking, if you really wanted to apologize to me,

you could take me out to dinner.

Like to a restaurant?

I found this place right off the highway in Chatsworth.

Middle of nowhere.

But it's romantic,

with good food.

No one will see us. I promise.

Golly. Uh, I don't know.

Why would that be a problem?

Unless...

you just don't want to be seen with me in public.

Oh. Don't say that, baby.

You're my girl.

I mean...

I'd love to take you out.

Oh. That's terrific.

Oh, and I've got the most perfect dress.

I'm really going to doll it up for you.

So, when do you want to do this?

Well, how about tonight?

Oh, shoot.

I can't tonight.

Yeah, I've got an audition.

At night?

Yeah, uh...

the producer's shooting a movie on location.

And he can't meet until after they wrap.

I don't know when that going to be, so...

I'm on call all night.

Sorry.

But...

Maybe some other time, like next week?

Sure.

Some other time, then.

You just let me know.

You're the best, babe.

Such glorious clothes she had.

It's a shame they'll all be washed down river

with the tin cans and trout.

Alma. - Hmm?

Is that Mrs. Yost's suit?

Yes. Isn't it stunning?

You don't have to wear her suit.

You-you can just wear her coat.

It's called getting into character, Bertram.

Besides...

It's my chance to wear couture.

I don't know what all the hullabaloo is about.

I prefer your tweed suit.

Ugh. Then you're certifiable.

Ah...

Mrs. Wong is watering her garden.

Oh. Excellent.

Well, get out there, before she goes back into her house. - Right.

I'll put this in Mrs. Yost's car for you.

All right.

I don't know who you are...

but you're certainly not a frump.

Come on.

Squeeze the ball, Papa.

I know it's hard,

but it's the only way you can get your strength back.

Catherine?

Can I see you downstairs for a moment?

What do you want?

I think it's time to call a truce.

I want us to be friends.

The floozy that married my father for money

wants to be my pal?

You don't think I cared about him?

He rescued me from the gutter.

Well, I'm sure you were grateful,

but it's not the same thing as love.

Oh, I was grateful.

I reinvented myself.

Lost my accent.

Learned how to dress.

But no matter what I did,

Carlo still treated me like I was the same stupid...

cocktail waitress he met in El Paso.

I tried to love him.

But I couldn't.

Because he's...

Well, you know...

awful.

I don't feel sorry for you.

Well, I feel sorry for you.

I've heard how he talks to you on the phone.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one

forced to endure his cruelty.

Did he ever tell you I was engaged once?

No.

Hmm.

His name was Hank.

He was tall,

handsome,

sweet.

The night he proposed to me was the happiest night of my life.

But then Father said he was a fortune hunter.

Why else would a man like that choose me?

So I sent Hank away.

Catherine, I had no idea.

The next week, he put a codicil in his will,

saying that if I would embarrass him any further

with any man he didn't approve of,

he would disinherit me.

Instantly.

See?

He tried to destroy us both.

This should make us allies.

You're missing the point of my story.

I wasn't confessing I hate my father.

I was explaining why I hate you.

What?

He married his fortune hunter.

How do you think I felt?

How do you think I'll feel if he dies and you take all his money

to marry that young man you have stashed away in that apartment?

Is that fair, Rita?

He gets his gold digger.

His gold digger gets her gigolo.

And what do I get?

A big lonely house back in Texas

and bingo nights with my church group.

Are you finished?

Not quite.

I also think you're responsible for his fall down the stairs.

And once I can prove that,

I will destroy you.

I'm sorry about Hank.

And I'm sorry about your life.

That being said...

you are one fuck of a bad houseguest.

Dee.

So this is where you work?

Yeah.

This is a nice surprise.

You're not busy, are you? - Huh-uh.

Is this a social call?

Actually...

I want to hire you.

Okay. To do what?

To tail Scooter.

I have a feeling he's lying to me.

And you want me to prove you right?

I want you to prove me wrong.

But...

either way, I need to know.

Sure. I'll trail him for you.

Also...

I need to be with you when you follow him.

No dice.

I work alone.

Not this time.

And if you have a problem with that,

I'll pay you double what you were going to charge me.

I wasn't going to charge you anything.

In that case...

triple it.

Rocco, go on.

Good boy. - Why are we stopping?

Well, Rocco needed a potty break,

and I'm getting rather peckish.

I thought we could stop and have some lunch.

We don't have time.

We have such a long way to go.

It just feels odd taking a road trip in separate cars.

Especially on this road.

Why is that?

Alma Fillcot.

It's the same route we took on our honeymoon.

Do you not remember?

Come on.

Let's have lunch together, for old time's sake.

This isn't our second honeymoon,

it's our first crime spree.

And what did I say about touching me?

Sorry.

You speak about "old times" as if

we can just turn back the clock,

but I can't.

You see about the dog.

I'll get us some sandwiches.

Then we must be on our way.

Excuse me.

I'm in a hurry. Can I get some sandwiches to go?

Oh, sure. It's right over there.

Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

Alma?

Alma Wilkins, is that you?

Whoa.

That was close.

Hope I didn't frighten you.

Oh, no. Not at all. It's just...

My word.

Tom Madison.

You're just as handsome as ever. - Please.

But look at you.

That suit.

Oh. Yes. My suit.

Do you like it?

I'll say.

You look wonderful.

In you go.

Good boy.

It's true.

You're still so funny.

You always made me laugh.

Oh, Bertie.

Look who it is.

It's Tom Madison, from high school.

We're going to have lunch with him.

Can you imagine?

Getting laid once in your whole life?

It's no wonder Catherine's such a bitch.

Don't be so amused.

That lady is dangerous.

I know how to handle her.

And get a little leverage in the process.

Catherine needs a man.

A gorgeous hunk her Papa wouldn't approve of.

You sure she's still interested?

She's on the downhill side of fifty and picking up speed.

Women never stop needing passion.

And I am going to get her some.

You're going to get herlaid? How?

As it happens...

I have a gigolo on retainer.

Then I opened another place in Santa Barbara.

You own six dry cleaning stores?

That is amazing.

Did you hear that, Bertie?

Mm. Yes. Very impressive.

Shouldn't we be getting back on the road?

You know, it's probably good

that you've been so busy at work.

It will keep your mind off the divorce. - Honestly...

I'm glad Lisa left me.

I was working so hard to save the marriage,

I didn't notice the other people in my life drifting away.

Finally, I woke up and wondered where all my friends had gone.

How is that possible?

You were the star quarterback.

Remember how many friends he had?

No. But I remember all the passes that were intercepted.

That's where I know you from, the football games.

What?

You were in the marching band.

All this time, I was trying to remember.

All this time?

I kept asking myself, "Was he in my math class?

Was he on student council?"

This whole lunch, you've had no idea who I am?

As if anyone could recognize you behind that tuba.

It was a sousaphone.

So, you folks ready for dessert?

Just the bill, please.

Can we stay a little longer, please?

No. It's been nice catching up, Tom. - Oh.

We must see you again.

Are you ever in L.A.?

I'm there for business quite a bit.

Well, then we must have you over.

I would love that.

Oh.

Uh. No, Bertram. Let me get that.

I insist, Tom.

It'll help you remember me.

Bye-bye.

Bye. - Bye.

What the hell was that?

I could say the same thing to you.

You won't let me touch you,

but it's open season for the Prom King?

He's going through a divorce. I was offering sympathy.

You were flirting.

You've clearly got the same silly school-girl crush

you've always had.

It wasn't silly.

And it wasn't just a crush, either.

Meaning what?

Tom and I went out once.

I see that surprises you.

Oh, well, I suppose the next thing you're going to tell me

is you let him kiss you.

Oh, we did more than kiss.

A lot more.

Are you saying you gave yourself to him?

Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

But you told me I was your first.

Yes. Well, you were my first killer, if it helps.

Oh, God.

How could you of kept this secret from me

for all these years?

Given what I've learned about you in the past two days,

I don't think you're in a position to complain.

Get down.

Maybe his audition is in that building there.

Did he go into that building?

Nope.

So that's her?

His lady friend.

Well, you got your answer.

Now, let's go. - Wait.

Not yet.

You're breaking up with me?

Not permanently,

but it's not safe to see each other while Catherine's in town.

She found the canceled checks for your rent.

If she gets any more proof, I'm sunk.

Well, isn't there some way we can get rid of her?

I did have one crazy idea, but...

Well, it's a bit sordid.

I like sordid.

Catherine is a lonely, middle-aged woman,

desperate for companionship.

But she'd be disinherited if she was caught

in a compromising position.

You mean like sex?

Yes, like sex.

And if I had a photo of her and some man in flagrante

Flagrante.Now, where is that?

Let me finish.

I could use that photo to blackmail her.

Make her go back to Texas and get out of our lives

permanently.

You're a genius, Rita.

So, the old girl's hot to trot?

Well, not just for anyone.

But, well, she could be seduced by...

oh, let's say, an incredibly handsome actor.

Hang on.

You're asking me to screw her?

I'm asking you to ride to my rescue.

Oh, I don't mind riding to your rescue,

but does she have to be the horse?

Why didn't you tell me?

Tell you what?

How beautiful she is.

Does it matter?

Of course it does.

I thought I had a chance. I thought he might...

God, I am so stupid.

Dee? Hey!

Hey, Dee!

Whoa. Whoa.

Dee. Dee!

Hey!

Oh, this is bad.

This is bad.

But I thought you loved me.

I do, baby.

That's why I can't go through with this.

You're the only woman I could be with.

Hello, Scooter.

Aw, geez.

How's the audition going?

Looks like you got the part.

II'm sorry. Is this person a friend of yours?

I'm not his friend.

I'm his lover.

What?

I have never met this woman.

Dee, please go.

He made me dress up as a cleaning woman

so you wouldn't know he was seeing me behind your back.

That was you in the photos?

Photos? What photos?

You cheated on me with that?

Yeah. He screwed a fat girl.

But unlike you,

I didn't have to pay his rent to get his motor going.

Ah! - What are you trying to do to me?

Just go.

I'm going.

For good.

He is all yours, lady.

You deserve each other.

Okay, I fooled around.

But you spied on me, which is worse.

I spied because I thought you were cheating.

Which you were.

It's over.

But you just told me you loved me.

Ha! And you believed me? - Yes.

Well, it's nice to know one of us can act.

So what happened in there?

Just take me home.

Please.

Good boy, Rocco. Stay here.

We'll wait to make sure that there's no cars passing.

When we're sure no one's coming,

we'll push the car into the lake.

Oh, and I brought some gin.

The police will think that she was driving intoxicated.

When they can't find her body,

they'll assume that she swam free of the car

and got lost in the mountains.

So, that's where they'll look for her.

Cunning idea, don't you think?

Were you in love with him?

What?

You heard me.

Tom Madison.

Were you in love with him?

You're still thinking about that?

Yes, of course I am.

You kept your feelings for him secret

from me for 20 years.

Well, you're a fine one to talk about secrets!

My secrets were my own.

Nothing to do with you.

Well, I'm standing in the woods,

about to push a dead woman's car into a lake.

So let's not pretend that I haven't been inconvenienced.

Now, pull yourself together.

Get ready to push.

Wonderful.

First, you tell me that you're unhappy in our marriage,

and only a garden club will make your life bearable.

I wasn't unhappy until recently.

And now, I find out you're in love with Tom Madison.

Oh, do shut up. - You shut up.

What am I to you?

A pale runner-up?

Some kind of chubby consolation prize?

I have loved you since the moment I met you.

Because I thought that you were kindand gentle.

And you would never hurt me.

You were nothing like the Tom Madisons of this world.

Now, all these years later,

I find out about your insane hobby.

And you've hurt me more than anyone ever could.

I'm beginning to think you're the worst choice

that I ever made.

Well, if that's the way you feel...

...why should we even stay married?

At the moment, I truly don't know.

Of course, this would be the point in the evening

when we finally get in the same car.

Yes.

Well, you can drive. I'm too upset.

I have my own set of keys.

Oh, my God.

My purse.

What about it?

I left it in Mrs. Yost's car.

The police will find it. - I know!

Bertram. No, Bertram!

Bertie, be careful.

Bertie?

Bertram?

Bertram, where are you?

Bertram!

I got it.

What are you doing? Swim back.

I can't.

The cuff of my trouser, it's caught.

Bertram, hold on. I'm coming.

Alma, wait there.

No, I'm coming. - Alma...

Ooh. - No, stay there, you can barely swim.

I got it. I'm coming.

Whatever you do,

don't let go of that purse.

Okay? - Yeah.

Alma?

Alma.

Oh...

Alma.

Oh, my God.

Did I do it? - Yes.

Are you still caught? - No, it's free.

Come on. - Come on.

I can't catch my breath.

Hang on, I'm...

I've got you. - Okay.

Take my arm. - Okay.

I've got you. - Okay.

Here...

This your house?

Yeah.

Well, how you doing?

You okay?

Funny enough...

yeah.

I've put up with so much.

My whole life.

Other girls got toast.

I got crumbs.

I wanted more,

but Mom made me think

that girls who aren't pretty

should be thankful for whatever we can get.

And I believed her.

Then tonight,

I finally said "No.

I deserve more."

And I felt good.

Man, what you did...

It took guts.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

Well... Let me, uh... Let me get your door.

Hey.

I have an idea.

What do you say we go out for a drink?

Now? It's close to midnight.

Who cares?

I'm not tired.

Uh...

You know, II have, I have work to do in the morning.

It's, um... it's a new client.

So... - Got it.

Some other time, then.

Sure.

Sure...

Hey.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Oh, it's okay.

I can get my own door.

Just trying to...

show you respect.

You do.

Always.

And I appreciate it.

♪ We'll meet again ♪

♪ Don't know where ♪

♪ Don't know when ♪

♪ But I know we'll meet again ♪

♪ Some sunny day ♪

♪ Keep smiling through ♪

♪ Just like you ♪

♪ Always do ♪

♪ Till the blue skies drive ♪

♪ The dark clouds far away ♪

♪ So will you please say hello ♪

♪ To the folks that I know

♪ Tell them I won't be long... ♪

Hey.

What in the world happened to you two?

We got a flat tire in a terrible rainstorm.

Not exactly the romantic evening we had planned.

Well, I don't know about that.

What about you? What did you do tonight?

Not much. Just listened to records.

Is that Rocco?

Uh, yes.

Mrs. Yost has gone on a trip to visit her sister, and, uh...

she's asked us to take care of him.

How long will she be gone for?

Um...

she'll be gone a while.

Rocco, come on!

♪ Meet again ♪

♪ Don't know where ♪

♪ Don't know when ♪

♪ But I know we'll meet again ♪

♪ Some sunny... ♪

♪ Day... ♪