Original subtitles

- [Narrator] I love you.

- Frederick, Maureen, welcome.

Did you find the place okay?

- It's Rick.

Dr. Rick if you don't mind.

Just sort of a respect thing.

- Yeah, sorry about that, I made the appointment, so--

- What is the work that you do?

- You don't know?

- I'm not familiar, I'm sorry.

- Yeah I kept, I mean, I just made the appointment,

I didn't get into--

- I have a television show.

It is the third highest rated daytime television show,

second doctor show.

- You're also a licensed therapist, is that correct?

- Well, I have a masters in social work,

but in fact, my doctorate is in library science.

Nevertheless--

- But you are licensed, right?

- Yeah, I have a license--

- It doesn't cover-- - To practice psychotherapy.

- To practice counseling.

- Oh okay.

But not psychotherapy.

- Well, it's psychological counseling.

- Okay.

- Social work and a head shot, basically what...

- So why don't you tell me a little bit about how you met,

and what is so great about your relationship?

- Do you want me to tell the story?

- Go ahead, okay.

I sold him a house.

Go ahead.

- Exactly.

About a year ago, I got divorced.

Part of the structure of the divorce

was I wound up having to buy a new house.

So I wanted to be in Brentwood,

I had been forever in Beverly Hills, I was sick of it.

So I called up a broker, and luckily enough,

I wound up with Maureen.

- Here we are.

(laughing)

- Oh, there we go.

- Here we go.

She showed me, almost intuitively,

a house that fit my needs perfectly.

Eleven bedrooms, lovely pool, really nice.

At quite a good price, I thought.

- It's the only house I actually had on the market,

so I didn't have, I didn't have choices.

But yeah, it worked out that--

- Is that right?

- Yeah, that's the only house I had listed at that time.

- I'm disappointed, I thought it was because

you knew me so well instantly.

Anyway, she showed me the house, I loved the house,

and I was rather intrigued, if I may say,

with Maureen as a woman.

So after things concluded, business-wise, I said to her,

"Maybe you'd like to go out and have dinner sometime?"

So she did, and we liked each other right away,

and about, I guess about six weeks after the closing, right?

We moved in together, in the new house,

about two months after that, we were married.

- Yeah, it all moved quickly by anyone's standards, really.

- Yes.

- What were some of the details

that you found so lovely about her?

- I just dug her, you know.

She was Midwestern, and full of optimism, and sweet,

and kind, and she was open to all kinds of new experiences,

and excited about the possibilities in life.

Did you remember to call the sink guy?

Sink in the kitchen's way stopped up.

- Oh, no need, I unclogged it, don't ask me how.

- Can you tell me a little bit

about your relationship history?

- How long is the session?

This is my fifth marriage.

- Wooo.

- The previous marriage, the one that I got out of

not too long before Maureen and I met,

was a really, really unpleasant marriage.

The woman that I got married to was kind of a dragon lady,

took me in a very acrimonious divorce

for a great deal of money.

She had had a son,

whom I adopted as my own,

he's involved with the Stormer Movement,

do you know what that is?

- No, I'm not familiar.

- [Dr. Rick] Well, his real name is Joshua,

but he's taken on the name Rolf,

kind of extreme right wing--

- [Maureen] Nazi. Like a Nazi.

- Well, that might be a little severe,

but let's just say that he belongs to this group--

- Swastikas and stuff, like swastika hats.

- Every Wednesday he goes to a meeting

called "The Holocaust was Faked,"

and he often comes over to sponge a little money from me.

- And you're Jewish, is that correct?

- Yes.

- Oh. Oh.

- So that's like a Jew Christmas tree?

Do you have any money?

- So, you're not raking it in

as a full time member of the party?

He's also a big flat-Earther.

He has a big sign on the back of his Mazda

saying the Earth is flat.

- He believes the Earth is...

- He might believe it, although having traveled--

- I think he does,

and that's probably why he doesn't drive too far.

- For fear that he'd fall off, you mean?

- Yes.

- You might be right, I don't know.

- He stays within a certain distance,

and I believe it's because

he is afraid of driving off the edge of it.

See, I don't have a problem with him coming over.

- You're able to see the good in him?

- I think part of me is trying to embrace this person

as a family member for myself,

and I guess I've just never known

what it's like to feel like a mother, so.

- To share your love. - Yes.

- So after his weekly "the Holocaust was Faked" meeting,

you'd like to take him to the zoo, or maybe to the museum.

- [Maureen] Yes, I would love, see, because I think

why not try and be an influence on this man-child?

Take his mind off of--

- The master race.

- The master race.

- Sounds like you are having a hard time

with some of Maureen's ideas.

- I mean, I think you've taken on certain things

that I wonder about the validity of,

like your interest in feng shui--

- It's feng shui.

- And in particular, towards my office space,

my sanctum sanctorum.

I mean, I have my stuff there, I have my books, my desk,

my computer, my two Peabodys, my six Daytime Emmys,

things that really mean something to me.

- It's really a part of who you are.

- Well, it used to be a part of who I am,

until Maureen took it upon herself to get involved

with the chi of the room, and move the forms,

meaning moving the furniture all around,

and now it's kind of more like a mess.

- You're upset with her feng shui?

- Yes, exactly.

- [Therapist] It felt like it really challenged who you are?

- Well, it made me kind of dizzy,

it was my own personal Hell.

- It was very hurtful.

- It was very dusty.

- And what's that other spiritual thing you do?

I can't remember the name of it, that guru guy that you see?

What is his name?

- Haberdashery?

- Haberdashery?

Doesn't that mean men's clothes?

- It's his name, it's the spirit Haberdashery.

- I have noticed, I must admit, that sometimes,

even late at night, you feel a strong compulsion

to do some sort of spiritual recharging with your guru,

Mr. Haberdashery.

- All I do is I run around the yard.

I'm blowing off my spirit-steam.

- Are you sure that's all you're blowing off?

- That's all I'm blowing off,

and Shery stands outside the gate and just,

he can see the aura of my soul stream,

as I'm running around.

And each time I come all the way around,

and by the way, it's a big lot,

I'm exhausted at the end of it.

My soul is exhausted, but it works.

- That sounds like it does something for you,

it really helps.

- It does, it is that release,

so if I'm laying there next to him, and I'm all pent up,

then yeah, I'm gonna take some laps around,

and blow my spirit steam off.

And Shery's outside the gate, big whoop.

(coughing)

- You couldn't have like a cardboard cutout of Shery

since all you're really doing

is running around the property?

- I'm not gonna--

- Well, it sounds like it upsets you

when she leaves at night.

- Worship false gods.

- You mentioned your TV show,

could you tell me a little bit about that?

- Well, as you know, I have a very popular

daytime television show, where I attempt to help people,

often women, but it could be people of either sex,

whose lives--

- It's all women.

It's all women.

- Mostly women.

Mostly women.

But that's because who watches television

during the daytime for the most part.

- Guys watch TV too.

- And how does that feel for you,

that there are so many women that he sees on the show

on a daily basis?

- Well, for starters, a lot of these women

certainly don't look like they have problems.

They look pretty well put together, wouldn't you say?

- In a perfect world, what kind of a man

do you see yourself attached to?

- I see myself with Dr. Rick.

- We'll be back in a moment, right after this.

And let me point out that I don't choose the clients,

the producers do.

- Well I don't exactly see you objecting to that, either.

- I don't object--

- Well, I think what's important here

is how it feels for the two of you in the relationship.

It sounds like for you, Maureen, it's very upsetting.

- I visited him on set, I don't do that too often,

I occasionally will catch the show, but I did go,

and he was with one of the clients/ladies,

and when the camera went off, they continued a conversation,

and it makes me very uncomfortable and nervous,

because it really sort of was about the same sorts of things

that you said to me, which is like,

"You don't see value in yourself, and you're not gonna find

"somebody of value until you value yourself."

And I'm like--

- Maureen, which woman are you talking about?

- "Catch me on the flip-flop, Daddy."

- She's one of the most troubled,

really really messed up women, or people,

that I've ever had on the show.

There's a big internet meme that was created around her,

"Catch you on the flip-flop, Daddy."

(mumbling incoherently)

- Please Christine, Christine--

- Catch me on the flip-flop, Daddy!

Catch me on the flip-flop!

Y'all don't know (beep)!

- He asked her out afterwards, I mean they went--

- When you say "asked her out,"

I think that's a confusing term.

- Well, okay, let me try and paraphrase,

"Would you care to take this conversation to a restaurant,

"let me take you out to dinner."

- Wait a second, you're painting a very inaccurate picture,

this is a deeply, deeply troubled--

- Well I don't wanna get into the details as much--

- But it's important.

It's important for you to understand.

- Well, yes, it's important. - This is a--

- It's important enough that I made this appointment.

- I think what's happening here

is that you're both telling each other's side of the story,

and I wonder if you can understand each other.

- Well, like what?

- Well maybe, how about, in your library?

You and your library science license,

and you can sit in your library and--

- In my personal library at home, you mean?

- And therapize her...

- You want me to bring her into the house?

- That's, well, sure, mmm hmm.

- Well, I don't really have a problem with that,

as long as you don't feel the need to constantly

peep and check and make sure that everything's okay,

because I think that would interfere with her feeling

that she could reveal the intimate details of her life.

- Well, it's a lot simpler that

than having to drive by these restaurants

when you're at them, because--

- Wait a second, drive by these restaurants?

This is what you've been doing?

- Okay, well that's about all the time we have today, so--

- What do you mean "that's about all the time we have?"

- Yeah, it's only an hour.

- This is kind of a major revelation, don't you think?

- Paid for an hour, so...

- We could make another appointment, if you wanna explore--

- Fantastic.

Catch you on the flip-flop, Daddy.

(laughing)

- He is funny.