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>> Alphonse: OH, NO! ROPE!
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[ WINCES ]
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>> ALPHONSE BEARWALKER...
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I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO ME.
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I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WEREN'T A
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STABLE BOY WHEN I SAW YOU
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MILKING THAT HORSE.
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>> Alphonse: THAT'S RIGHT.
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I'M NTSF:SD:SUV::.
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>> SAN DIEGO POLICE?
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[ LAUGHS, SNORTS ]
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THERE WON'T EVEN BE A SAN DIEGO
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IN 48 HOURS.
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YOU SEE, MY PLAN IS ABOUT TO
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BEGIN.
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>> Alphonse: A REVERSE
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REVOLUTION?
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>> WE'RE GONNA TAKE BACK WHAT
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BELONGS TO US.
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THE REDCOATS ARE COMING...BACK!
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>> DIEGO!
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>> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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>> DIEGO!
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>> OH, HI, DAISY. HOW ARE YOU?
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>> Trent: WHAT THE HELL ARE WE
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DOING ON THE BORDER?
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>> I DON'T KNOW.
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LET'S TURN THIS THING ON
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ALREADY.
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I'M SWEATING MY BALLS OFF.
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[ WHIRRING ]
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>> Kove: GREETINGS, EVERYONE.
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I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU
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RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M AT A FAMILY
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FRIEND'S BAT MITZVAH...
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WHICH I COULDN'T GET OUT OF.
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I HAVE SOME DIRE NEWS.
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IT'S BEEN 12 HOURS SINCE THE
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STSF:UK:DDB:: LOST CONTACT WITH
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ALPHONSE WHILE HE WAS ON
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ASSIGNMENT IN LITTLE BRITAIN.
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>> AFTER YEARS OF NEGOTIATION,
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LITTLE BRITAIN IS GIVING UP ITS
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AUTONOMY AND TURNING ITSELF OVER
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TO GREATER SAN DIEGO.
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UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE SOME
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RABBLE-ROUSERS OUT THERE WHO
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WANT TO STOP US.
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THEY JUST HATE SAN DIEGO.
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>> Piper: HOW COULD ANYONE HATE
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SAN DIEGO?
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I MEAN, OUR COLLEGE BAR SCENE IS
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UNMATCHED, AND OUR CHICKEN
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MASCOT IS THE ENVY OF ALL OF
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MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.
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>> Kove: YOUR JOB IS TO FIND
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ALPHONSE AND FIND OUT WHY HE WAS
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CAPTURED.
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>> FINALLY.
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I'LL GET A CHANCE TO DO MY
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AMERICAN ACCENT.
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>> Trent: WAIT. WHAT?
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>> OH, SEE, LITTLE BRITAINS HATE
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SCOTS, AND SINCE I CAN'T DO A
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BRITISH ACCENT FOR ....
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[American accent] I'LL HAVE TO
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BE DAISY FROM RHODE ISLAND.
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I LOVE GUNS, DRINKING TERRIBLE
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BEER, AND THERE'S A 50% CHANCE
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I'LL DEVELOP TYPE-2 DIABETES BY
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THE TIME I'M 25.
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>> Kove: OH, AND SINCE YOU ARE
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TECHNICALLY LEAVING SAN DIEGO,
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THIS WILL COUNT AGAINST YOUR
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VACATION DAYS.
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>> Piper: WHAT?
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>> NO. THAT'S A GOOD CALL.
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>> Sam: HEY, GUYS.
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SORRY I'M LATE.
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MY SHIFT WENT LONG AT THE FOOD
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CO-OP.
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>> TAKE HIM WITH YOU IN CASE
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SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET SHOT.
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WE MUST PRESERVE
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REUNIFICATION DAY!
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>> Kove: HELP US, NTSF.
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YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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MAZEL TOV!
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OH, I'M SORRY.
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I'VE GOT TO GO.
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S.A.M. WILL SELF-DESTRUCT AFTER
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THIS MESSAGE.
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>> WAIT. WHAT?
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>> Trent: LOOKS LIKE
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LITTLE BRITAIN IS ABOUT TO BE
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U.K.O.'d.
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>> Piper: WOW!
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IT LOOKS JUST LIKE LONDON!
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>> BIG BEN LOOKS AMAZING!
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>> Trent: I'VE SEEN BETTER
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STATUES AT LEGOLAND.
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>> HEY. CHAPLAIN.
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GOT ANY PRETTY POLLY?
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>> Sam: I KNEW WE SHOULD'VE
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TAKEN ROSETTA STONE.
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>> OI!
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WHAT WE GOT HERE -- BUNCH OF
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TOURISTS?
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>> YEAH, YOU FOREIGN [CLOCK
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CHIMING] TOSSERS.
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HOW 'BOUT I TAKE THIS CRICKET
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BAT AND SMASH YOU ON YOUR
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[CHIME] HEAD, YOU BUNCH OF
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WANKERS?!
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HOW 'BOUT I KICK YOU IN THE
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[CHIME] AND PUT YOU ON THE
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FLOOR, AND KICK YOU IN THE
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[CHIME] TEETH TILL YOUR [CHIME]
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EYES FALL OUT?!
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>> WHAT NOW, YO?!
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>> Sam: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO
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DO.
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>> Piper: DAMN IT, SAM!
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>> STEP AWAY FROM THE DIEGANS.
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>> WHO ARE YOU?
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>> STSF:UK:DDB::.
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>> SOCIALIZED TERRORISM STRIKE
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FORCE: UNITED KINGDOM:
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DOUBLE-DECKER BUS::...
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FOR SHORT.
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LET ME DEDUCE.
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THE HEEL OF YOUR FRONT FOOT IS
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PARTIALLY OFF THE GROUND,
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INDICATING THE WEIGHT IS ON YOUR
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REAR FOOT, MAKING YOU VULNERABLE
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TO ATTACK.
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>> [ LAUGHS ]
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>> SWIFT LIKE THE PANTHER.
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I STUDIED WING CHUN IN BURMA,
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WHICH ALLOWS ME TO USE YOUR OWN
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FORCE AGAINST YOU, ALLOWING ME
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TO FELL MY OPPONENT...
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>> Piper: OHH!
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>> ...AND BOWL HIM WITH A
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GOOGLY.
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>> [ WHIMPERING, YELPS ]
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>> THANK YOU, GRAHAM.
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>> WELCOME TO LITTLE BRITAIN,
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MATES.
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>> THIS IS A BRAIN TRUST OF OUR
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COUNTER-TERRORISM AND SECURITY
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ORGANIZATION, WHERE ALL THE BIG
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DECISIONS ARE MADE.
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>> EXACTLY!
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SO, DARJEELING OR EARL GREY?
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>> Trent: TEA? NO, THANK YOU.
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I PREFER MY HOT WATER
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UNFLAVORED.
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>> THE NAME'S LOCKHEED.
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JUST TO WARN YOU, I'M EXTREMELY
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INTELLIGENT.
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SO IT'LL BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR
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YOU TO KEEP UP WITH ME.
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>> Trent: BUT YOU DIDN'T DO
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ANYTHING.
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>> LOOK AGAIN.
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>> Trent: YEAH -- NOTHING.
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>> MAKING EVERY FACE OF THE CUBE
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THE SAME COLOR IS EASY.
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CREATING A PATTERN SUCH AS THAT
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CAN ONLY BE ACCOMPLISHED BY AN
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INCREDIBLE MIND.
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>> ATTENTION!
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>> GREETINGS, NTSF.
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I'M THE PRIME MINISTER OF THE
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ROYAL NAVY.
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LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY
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CURRENT HEADACHE.
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SIR ALFRED CORNINGHAM.
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>> Trent: [ SCOFFS ]
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WHAT'S WITH THE PAINTING?
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CAN'T AFFORD A HOLOGRAM?
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>> HOLOGRAMS? HOW UNCIVILIZED.
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WE'RE NOT COAL MINERS.
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>> MY MOTHER WAS A COAL MINER.
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>> INTELLIGENCE SUGGESTS
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CORNINGHAM PLANS TO SABOTAGE
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REUNIFICATION DAY.
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IF MY HUNCH IS CORRECT, AND IT
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ALWAYS IS, I BELIEVE HE'S THE
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MAN WHO'S APPROPRIATED YOUR
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AGENT.
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THE QUESTION IS, HOW DO THEY
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RELATE?
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>> NOW, WE'VE MANAGED TO GET YOU
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TWO LADIES AN AUDIENCE AT
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CORNINGHAM'S MANOR.
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ONCE INSIDE THE GROUNDS, YOU CAN
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SEARCH FOR YOUR MAN.
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>> Piper: OOH, A MANOR!
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I'VE ALWAYS FANCIED THE IDEA OF
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BEING AN ARISTOCRAT -- NODDING
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AT THE POOR AND MARRYING A
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COUSIN FOR MONEY.
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>> ACTUALLY, YOU'LL BE POSING AS
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DAISY'S SERVANT.
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BUT BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,
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I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO
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SURRENDER YOUR GUNS.
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>> Trent: WITHOUT GUNS, WE'LL BE
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LIKE SITTING DUCKS -- YOU KNOW,
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THE KIND OF DUCKS WITHOUT GUNS.
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>> WE USE VERBAL BULLETS HERE.
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THEY WON'T KILL YOU, BUT THEY
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WILL WOUND YOU FOR A LIFETIME.
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>> I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD A GUN!
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>> Piper: WHOA, WHOA.
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>> WE'LL BE IN CONTACT WITH YOUR
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OFFICE IN SAN DIEGO, KEEPING
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THEM ABREAST OF ALL THE DETAILS
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AS WE GET THEM.
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>> Piper: I MEAN, WITH ALPHONSE
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GONE AND THE THREE OF US OVER
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HERE IN LITTLE BRITAIN, WHO'S
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LEFT AT NTSF?
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>> Trent: WELL, KOVE, THE
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P.O.T.N., AND REGGIE, THE SUV
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MECHANIC.
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LOVE THAT GUY.
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>> DING-DONG!
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I'M JUST KIDDING.
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I KNOW THERE'S NO DOORBELL HERE.
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HEY, UH, IS NOW A BAD TIME?
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>> YEAH, IT'S THE WORST TIME
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POSSIBLE!
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ALL HELL'S BREAKING LOOSE!
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>> HMM.
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WELL, I NOTICED THAT YOU WERE
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SHORT ON SOME AGENTS, AND I
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THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD OFFER MY
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SERVICES IN ANY AGENT-TYPE
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DUTIES THAT YOU MIGHT NEED.
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YOU CAN START OFF BY ISSUING ME
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A GUN.
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>> THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA --
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>> Kove: NO!
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>> UH, NO!
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>> FINE. YEAH.
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WE CAN TAKE CARE OF THE GUN SOME
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OTHER TIME.
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UH, ALL RIGHT.
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WELL, I'M OFF TO LUNCH.
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I'M-A TAKE THE ROBOT OUT.
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>> WHOA-OH-OH! ROBOTS DON'T EAT!
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>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
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IT'S CAMARADERIE.
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WE'RE COWORKERS.
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00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,660
>> ARE YOU HAVING SEX WITH THE
261
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:29,656
ROBOT, REGGIE?
262
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:30,987
>> IS THAT A CRIME?
263
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,931
>> Kove: NO, IT'S NOT A CRIME.
264
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,386
>> THANK YOU.
265
00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:37,974
>> OI, GUV, SPARE US A SHILLING.
266
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,095
>> [ GROANS ]
267
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,099
OI!
268
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:40,930
WHOA, THERE, BOY!
269
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,104
THERE'S NO PLACE FOR STREET
270
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,102
URCHINS 'ROUND HERE.
271
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,473
GO AND PICKPOCKET SOMEWHERE ELSE
272
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,772
OR END UP IN A DEBTOR'S PRISON.
273
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:46,813
>> Sam: HEY, I'M NOT A
274
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:47,637
PICKPOCKET.
275
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,641
>> WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT AN
276
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,542
ABANDONED ORPHAN, WHY ARE YOU
277
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,643
DRESSING LIKE THAT?
278
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:51,554
>> Sam: THIS -- THESE ARE NICE
279
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,005
CLOTHES.
280
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,182
>> HE SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL, AND
281
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,550
HE'S STEALING OUR UMBRELLAS!
282
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:54,978
LYNCH HIM!
283
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:55,882
>> SALLY FORTH!
284
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,123
>> Sam: SORRY. WHAT?
285
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,147
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
286
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,491
>> AFTER THOSE TWO YOUNG BOYS!
287
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,118
>> I'M ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT WE
288
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,792
HADN'T REALIZED HIS GRACE HAD AN
289
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,331
AMERICAN COUSIN SUITABLE FOR
290
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,555
MARRIAGE, UNTIL WE RECEIVED YOUR
291
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,161
E-MAIL THIS MORNING BY HORSE.
292
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,202
>> YOU BETCHA!
293
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,827
I'M DOLLY LEE WASHINGTON.
294
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,532
I'M OBVIOUSLY THE AMERICAN
295
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,744
COUSIN FROM EPCOT, U.S.A.!
296
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:16,166
WHOO!
297
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,539
AND THIS IS MY SERVANT GIRL.
298
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,038
>> Piper: [ British accent ] MY
299
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:20,509
NAME'S BLAIR -- BLAIR THATCHER.
300
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,208
AND I'M FROM
301
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,238
SHIRE-ON-THE-THAMES.
302
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,182
>> ENOUGH, BLAIR.
303
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,576
SERVANTS AREN'T TO LOOK
304
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,508
ARISTOCRACY IN THE EYE.
305
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:26,183
>> ROBINSON.
306
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,519
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT TWO
307
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,975
GREAT BEAUTIES WERE JOINING US
308
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,222
AT THE MANOR.
309
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,717
WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO
310
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:32,189
DRINK?
311
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,585
>> OH, DON'T BOTHER WITH HER.
312
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,757
SHE'S JUST MY WORTHLESS
313
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:35,515
LADY-SERVANT.
314
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,223
I WILL TAKE A TALL GLASS OF
315
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,694
HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.
316
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,993
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
317
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:41,934
AND YOU, MISS?
318
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,859
>> Piper: OI, I'LL, UH, JUST
319
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,034
TAKE A CUP OF MUD.
320
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,732
IT'S ALL THAT'S FIT FOR A TOILET
321
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:47,574
PERSON LIKE ME.
322
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,838
>> WONDERFUL.
323
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,196
ROBINSON.
324
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,613
UH, WOULD YOU PLEASE FETCH THEIR
325
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,165
BEVERAGES?
326
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:52,612
>> YES.
327
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,036
>> SHALL I SHOW YOU THE GROUNDS?
328
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:54,841
>> HECK YEAH!
329
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:55,582
[ CHUCKLES ]
330
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,236
SERVANT GIRL, GRAB AND UNPACK MY
331
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:57,854
LUGGAGE.
332
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:58,745
AND BE CAREFUL.
333
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,076
IT'S FILLED WITH MY FINEST
334
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,720
AMERICAN JORTS AND NOVELTY
335
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:02,075
T-SHIRTS.
336
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,782
[ GIGGLES ]
337
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,054
>> Piper: SHE THINKS SHE'S SO
338
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,292
MUCH BETTER THAN US DOWNSTAIRS
339
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,816
GIRLS.
340
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:12,889
>> Trent: [ CHUCKLES ]
341
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:13,893
I LOVE THESE GUYS.
342
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,304
WHATEVER YOU DO, THEY CAN'T
343
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:15,755
MOVE.
344
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,033
THEY CAN'T BLINK. WATCH.
345
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:17,600
[ YELLS ]
346
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,398
[ CHUCKLES ]
347
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,068
HE'S GREAT.
348
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,226
>> HE'S DEAD.
349
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,303
>> Trent: ALL RIGHT.
350
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,041
>> HIS WALLET IS INTACT.
351
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,907
BUT HIS KEYS ARE MISSING.
352
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,576
THIS IS NO ORDINARY MUGGING.
353
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,205
SOMETHING LARGER IS AT STAKE.
354
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,880
BUT WHAT?
355
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,249
AGENT TRENT, WHAT'S YOUR
356
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:33,976
ASSESSMENT?
357
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,421
>> Trent: HE WAS...DOING
358
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:38,245
SOMETHING, AND HE WAS SOMEWHERE.
359
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,721
THEN HE CAME HERE.
360
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:44,291
AND THEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING
361
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,261
KILLED HIM.
362
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,659
>> RIGHT.
363
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,731
WELL...MOVING ON.
364
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:49,799
I SEARCHED THE AREA AROUND THE
365
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:50,727
SCENE AND FOUND THIS.
366
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,771
IT'S A BEER MAT --
367
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:52,595
COMES FROM A PUB CALLED
368
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:53,300
THE ITCHY QUAIL.
369
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,640
IT'S GOT A SPOT OF BLOOD ON IT.
370
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,595
>> NEVER MIND THAT.
371
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,843
WE'RE GOING TO THE ITCHY QUAIL
372
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:57,667
TO LOOK FOR CLUES.
373
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,671
COME ON, TRENT.
374
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:00,813
>> COME ON! QUICKLY!
375
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,678
>> Sam: I'M NOT AN ORPHAN!
376
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,006
THESE ARE REGULAR CLOTHES MADE
377
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,011
OF REPURPOSED HEMP!
378
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,452
>> OOH, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
379
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,246
A NEW RECRUIT.
380
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,247
WELL DONE, TIMOTHY.
381
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,849
LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT THIS...
382
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:11,821
YOUNG LAD.
383
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,749
>> Sam: UH, I'M NOT YOUNG.
384
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,264
YOU MAYBE HAVE 5 YEARS ON ME.
385
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,855
I'M NOT LOOKING TO BE TOUCHED OR
386
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,087
WHATEVER GOES ON HERE.
387
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,091
>> IF YOU WANT TO JOIN OUR MERRY
388
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,833
BAND, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN
389
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:24,829
HOW TO PICK POCKETS...
390
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,932
>> Sam: HEY, MAN.
391
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,703
>> ...AND SING SONGS ABOUT YOUR
392
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,641
POVERTY-FILLED LIFE.
393
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:33,467
[ ALL VOCALIZE ]
394
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,313
>> [ VOCALIZES ]
395
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,648
>> MADE ME FORGET THE WORDS NOW!
396
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,879
>> SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
397
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,894
THIS WHOLE, BIG-ASS PLACE IS ALL
398
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:46,946
YOURS?
399
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,394
>> ALAS, YES.
400
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,859
WHAT'S THE USE, IF THERE'S NO
401
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,788
ONE TO SHARE IT WITH?
402
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,993
MS. WASHINGTON, UH, WOULD YOU
403
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,204
LIKE TO SEE THE LIBRARY?
404
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,355
OUR COLLECTION IS MOST
405
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,063
IMPRESSIVE.
406
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,134
>> OH, I'D LOVE THAT.
407
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,701
AS AN AMERICAN, I DON'T NORMALLY
408
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,000
SEE ANY BOOKS.
409
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:01,871
>> DELIGHTFUL.
410
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,199
UH, WELL, IF YOU GO INSIDE,
411
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,743
ACROSS THE HALL, TURN RIGHT, UP
412
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,168
THE STAIRS TWO FLIGHTS, THEN
413
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,683
DOWN THREE MORE CORRIDORS, AND
414
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,075
IT'S THE SECOND DOOR ON YOUR
415
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:09,736
LEFT.
416
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,813
>> W-- YOU'RE NOT COMING?
417
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,151
>> NO.
418
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,017
>> OKAY.
419
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,090
>> FINALLY, WE'RE ALONE!
420
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:21,818
COME WITH ME.
421
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,222
>> Piper: MILORD, ARE YOU MAD?
422
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,693
>> I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT
423
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:24,992
YOU.
424
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,362
>> Piper: MUST BE OUT OF YOUR
425
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,329
HEAD, MILORD.
426
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,357
I'M JUST A SERVANT, A BIT OF
427
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,872
EXCREMENT IN HUMAN FORM, LIKE A
428
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:32,925
DANCE MOM ON THE TELLY SHOW
429
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:33,703
"DANCE MOMS."
430
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,041
>> I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
431
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,765
>> Piper: WHAT?
432
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,440
[ GASPS ]
433
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:42,378
I NEVER HELD ANYTHING SO NICE.
434
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,875
ALPHONSE?
435
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,847
>> THE -- THE DESIGNER.
436
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,105
UH, ALPHONSE...ALPHONSE.
437
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,054
>> SIR, THE ITEM YOU REQUESTED
438
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,919
HAS BEEN RECEIVED.
439
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:51,718
>> EXCELLENT!
440
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,419
THERE'S SOMETHING I REALLY MUST
441
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,260
ATTEND TO.
442
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,085
>> MADAM.
443
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,361
>> Piper: [ Normal voice ] KOVE,
444
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,062
IT'S PIPER.
445
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,463
I HAVE SOME SHOCKING
446
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,274
INFORMATION.
447
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,925
DAISY'S IN LOVE WITH CORNINGHAM,
448
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,244
AND CORNINGHAM ISN'T IN LOVE
449
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:08,865
WITH DAISY.
450
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,269
CORNINGHAM IS IN LOVE WITH ME,
451
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,740
EVEN THOUGH I'M A SERVANT GIRL.
452
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,139
AND I JUST HEARD FROM DOWNSTAIRS
453
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,880
THAT THE FOOTMAN IMPREGNATED THE
454
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,035
KITCHEN MAID, AND NOW THE VALET
455
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,413
KNOWS ABOUT IT, AND HE'S GONNA
456
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,950
HANG IT OVER THEIR HEADS.
457
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,476
OH, ALSO, ALPHONSE IS PROBABLY
458
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:20,950
DEAD.
459
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:21,948
>> Kove: [ GASPS ]
460
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:25,149
OH, IT CAN'T BE!
461
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,222
MY DEAR ALPHONSE!
462
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:31,160
PRIZED AGENT, PROUD ALASKAN...
463
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,488
MY SECRET LOVER.
464
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,362
[ SOBBING ]
465
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,371
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
466
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,781
>> I MUST APOLOGIZE FOR THE
467
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:52,447
KIDNAPPING AND THE BEATINGS.
468
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,845
NOT VERY SPORTING OF ME, I'M
469
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,477
AFRAID.
470
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,082
HAVE SOME WATER.
471
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,654
>> Alphonse: [ GROANS ]
472
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,921
>> WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT OUR
473
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,960
MANNERS.
474
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,486
PERFECT.
475
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,930
NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR DNA AND
476
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,285
FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THIS
477
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,693
GLASS, I CAN CONTINUE WITH MY
478
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,004
PLAN TO FRAME YOU FOR THE
479
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:10,096
ASSASSINATION OF THE
480
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,197
PRIME MINISTER OF THE
481
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:11,998
ROYAL NAVY...
482
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:12,999
>> Alphonse: WHAT?
483
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,100
>> ...THUS STOPPING
484
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,541
REUNIFICATION DAY AND KEEPING
485
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:17,496
LITTLE BRITAIN SOVEREIGN.
486
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,944
>> Alphonse: THAT'S WHY I NEVER
487
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:19,609
DRINK WATER.
488
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,966
LISTEN, I'M GONNA ESCAPE FROM
489
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,314
THIS PLACE, IF IT'S THE LAST
490
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:22,939
THING I DO!
491
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:23,483
>> ANNA?
492
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,106
>> YES, SIR.
493
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,311
I'M HERE TO TEND TO YOUR
494
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:25,812
PATIENT.
495
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,183
>> Alphonse: ACTUALLY, I MIGHT
496
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,020
STAY.
497
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,893
>> NOW, LET'S SEE IF GRAHAM'S
498
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,686
CLUE CAN LEAD TO WHAT I LIKE TO
499
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,157
CALL...INFORMATION.
500
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:36,986
>> Trent: YEAH.
501
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,130
WE ALL CALL IT THAT.
502
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,925
>> DEATH TO SAN DIEGO!
503
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,699
>> WE'RE LOCKED IN!
504
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,666
IT'S A TRAP.
505
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,135
BEER MAT!
506
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,935
[ BOTH SIGH ]
507
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:52,909
>> [ GROANS ]
508
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:53,566
>> BLIMEY.
509
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,243
>> I THOUGHT WE CONFISCATED YOUR
510
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:55,712
GUN.
511
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,578
>> Trent: YEAH.
512
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,146
WELL, I ALWAYS KEEP A SPARE.
513
00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,245
>> NOW, THIS MUST ALL BE
514
00:12:59,246 --> 00:12:59,846
CONNECTED.
515
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,147
WE NEED TO SEARCH THE PLACE
516
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,518
CAREFULLY AND PAINSTAKINGLY FOR
517
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:02,915
CLUES.
518
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:03,916
>> Trent: [ GROWLS ]
519
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:04,747
>> [ WHIMPERING ]
520
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,221
>> Trent: WHO KILLED THE GUARD?!
521
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,019
WHO SET US UP?!
522
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,520
HERE YOU GO, MR. FISH AND CHIPS.
523
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,261
>> [ SCREAMING ]
524
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,586
>> Trent: WHY ARE YOUR
525
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,590
TV SEASONS SO SHORT?!
526
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,661
TELL ME! TELL ME!
527
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,159
>> GOD, MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
528
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,661
>> Trent: IN SAN DIEGO, CLUES
529
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:16,832
ARE WHAT WE GET WHEN WE TORTURE
530
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,260
PEOPLE.
531
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,004
>> [ CRYING ]
532
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,368
>> Trent: YOU BETTER CALL THE
533
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:20,666
COPS, 'CAUSE I JUST COMMITTED
534
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,367
ASSAULT AND VINEGAR.
535
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,239
>> [ SCREAMING ]
536
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,607
>> ALL RIGHT, SAM.
537
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,975
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
538
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,776
[ BELL JINGLES ]
539
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,381
[ SIGHS ]
540
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,193
[ BELL JINGLES ]
541
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,685
[ BELLS JINGLING ]
542
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:45,291
>> Sam: DAMN IT.
543
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,232
I HAVE HUGE HANDS.
544
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,596
>> STEALING ISN'T ABOUT THE SIZE
545
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,795
OF YOUR HANDS.
546
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,196
IT'S ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR
547
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:51,558
HEART.
548
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,974
>> Sam: HONESTLY, I'M PRETTY
549
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,696
SURE IT'S -- IT'S ABOUT THE SIZE
550
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,201
OF THE HANDS.
551
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:58,242
>> HOW BIG ARE MY HANDS...SAM?
552
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,038
>> Sam: WHAT? HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
553
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,105
>> YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE HEALING
554
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:04,581
NICELY.
555
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,807
>> Alphonse: IT'S MY ALASKAN
556
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:06,312
HERITAGE.
557
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,653
WE HAVE SPECIAL SKILLS WHEN IT
558
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,747
COMES TO HEALING AND SPOTTING
559
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,719
FAKE ROLEXES.
560
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,287
WHOA, CHEEKY.
561
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,415
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
562
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,990
>> I'M TENDING TO YOUR WOUNDS,
563
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,658
EVEN THE EMOTIONAL ONES.
564
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:20,326
LAY WITH ME, ALPHONSE.
565
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,427
BUT FIRST, UM...
566
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,429
DO YOU HAVE ANY STRAINS OF
567
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:23,830
HEPATITIS?
568
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,900
>> Alphonse: IT'S PRONOUNCED
569
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,228
"HERPES," AND NO.
570
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,243
>> I'M IN LOVE.
571
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,735
>> Piper: DAISY. DAISY.
572
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,237
CORNINGHAM DEFINITELY CAPTURED
573
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,609
AND PROBABLY KILLED ALPHONSE.
574
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,806
HE GAVE ME THIS NECKLACE.
575
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,277
>> WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUB IT IN
576
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:36,806
MY FACE?
577
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:37,839
HE LIKES YOU BETTER.
578
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:38,684
CONGRATULATIONS.
579
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,008
AND I SAW YOU TWO STROLLING
580
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,353
THROUGH THE GARDEN TOGETHER,
581
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,848
BRIMMING WITH SUPPRESSED SEXUAL
582
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:43,449
TENSION.
583
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:44,280
>> Piper: I KNOW.
584
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,624
AND IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST
585
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,818
MAGICAL MOMENTS I'VE EVER
586
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:47,749
EXPERIENCED.
587
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,324
BUT HE'S STILL A BAD GUY THAT WE
588
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,692
NEED TO TAKE DOWN.
589
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,260
>> NOT SO FAST, MS. WASHINGTON.
590
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,460
>> Piper: ROBINSON?
591
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:55,931
>> YOU THINK I'M JUST THE
592
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:56,759
BUTLER.
593
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,303
BUT, ACTUALLY, I'M CORNINGHAM'S
594
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,468
CO-CONSPIRATOR, AND I'LL PROTECT
595
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,467
HIS PLAN TO STOP REUNIFICATION
596
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,469
AT ALL COSTS, EVEN IF IT MEANS
597
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,271
THE ACCIDENTAL KILLING OF A
598
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,043
SILLY AMERICAN AND HER
599
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,841
INCREDIBLY FIT SERVANT.
600
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,842
>> INCREDIBLY FIT SERVANT?
601
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,114
WHAT ABOUT ME?
602
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,283
LOOK AT THESE LEGS!
603
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,652
>> [ GROANS ]
604
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:17,849
>> Piper: LOOKS LIKE HE JUST
605
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,190
FELL ON HIS BUTT...LER.
606
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,185
>> RIGHT. THERE'S YOUR CHAP.
607
00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,964
TIME TO PUT IT TO THE TEST, MY
608
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:29,402
LAD.
609
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,196
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, AND YOU CAN
610
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:31,998
STEAL ANYTHING.
611
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,329
>> Sam: NO ONE'S EVER BELIEVED
612
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,073
IN ME BEFORE...
613
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,838
OR LENT ME CLOTHES.
614
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:38,206
THANK YOU, SAGAN.
615
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:39,835
I REALLY FEEL LIKE I'M PART OF A
616
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:40,809
FAMILY.
617
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,737
>> YOU ARE, MY LAD.
618
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,342
YOU ARE.
619
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:53,522
>> OI! YOU, THERE!
620
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,690
PICKPOCKETS AREN'T WELCOME
621
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,317
'ROUND HERE!
622
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,322
>> WHAT THE HELL?
623
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,093
>> Sam: PLEASE!
624
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,360
HELL, I'M NOT AN ORPHAN!
625
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,728
PLEASE STOP! I'M NOT AN ORPHAN!
626
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,927
SIRS, I'M NOT A PICKPOCKET.
627
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,228
>> OH, I SUPPOSE YOU DO NEED A
628
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:06,030
BIGGER HEART.
629
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,168
>> NOW, LET THE INTERROGATION
630
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:10,840
BEGIN.
631
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,897
>> BLINKING HECK, ME CUP OF
632
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:12,774
TEA'S EMPTY.
633
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:13,912
>> OH. I DO BEG YOUR PARDON.
634
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,176
A THOUSAND APOLOGIES.
635
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,875
>> HAVE YOU GOT SWEETENERS?
636
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:17,406
>> SORRY. NO.
637
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,250
>> [ GROANS ]
638
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,845
>> NOW, ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT
639
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,176
PART OF A PLOT CONSPIRING
640
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,221
AGAINST THE CROWN?
641
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:23,846
>> NO.
642
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,550
>> AH!
643
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,391
HE WON'T BUDGE. THIS IS USELESS.
644
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,716
>> YOU'RE A TOSSER, YOU ARE.
645
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,120
>> GETTING HIM TO TALK IS LIKE
646
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,722
PULLING TEETH.
647
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,264
YOU TWO TAKE A BREAK.
648
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,890
I'M GONNA KEEP AT IT.
649
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:35,904
>> FANCY A PINT?
650
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,725
>> Trent: SURE.
651
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,432
>> WHAT'S TAKING HIM SO BLOODY
652
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,073
LONG?
653
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,039
>> THIS YOUR FRIEND?
654
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,196
>> Trent: HEY, YOU FOUND
655
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:44,974
WHAT'S-HIS-NAME.
656
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,441
>> I CAUGHT HIM NICKING WALLETS.
657
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,369
>> Sam: I TOLD YOU.
658
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,814
I SOMEHOW GOT RECRUITED TO BE AN
659
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,238
ORPHAN PICKPOCKET AND JUST SORT
660
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,883
OF IMMEDIATELY WENT ALONG WITH
661
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:52,948
IT, PROBABLY 'CAUSE MY SISTER
662
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,275
ALWAYS MADE FUN OF ME, AND YOU
663
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:55,921
GUYS DON'T REALLY MAKE ME FEEL
664
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:56,975
LIKE I'M PART OF A FAM-- OOH.
665
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:57,823
THANK YOU.
666
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,947
[ MUFFLED SCREAMING ]
667
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,063
>> I FOUND OUT THE PLAN.
668
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,886
TURNS OUT, IT WAS LIKE PULLING
669
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,761
TEETH.
670
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,788
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
671
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:08,904
>> Trent: THAT'S GREAT.
672
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,295
YOU LEARNED HOW TO TORTURE AND
673
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,227
THE ART OF THE PUN.
674
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,101
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
675
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,169
NOW, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
676
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,596
>> ROBINSON KILLED THE GUARD TO
677
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:15,771
STEAL HIS APARTMENT KEY SO
678
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:16,968
CORNINGHAM COULD HAVE THE
679
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,439
PERFECT VANTAGE POINT FROM WHICH
680
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:19,908
TO ASSASSINATE THE PRIME MINSTER
681
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:20,806
OF THE ROYAL NAVY.
682
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:22,177
WE NEED TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM
683
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:22,835
THERE.
684
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,012
>> NO.
685
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,110
I SHALL GIVE MY SPEECH.
686
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,482
REUNIFICATION IS TOO IMPORTANT.
687
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:27,849
AND IF I'M NOT DEAD AT THE END
688
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,117
OF IT, I'LL KNOW YOU'VE DONE
689
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,846
YOUR JOB.
690
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,450
NOW, I HAVE A SPEECH TO GIVE,
691
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,922
AND I'M LATE AS IT IS.
692
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,561
OH, JUST A MINUTE.
693
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,755
[ EXHALES ] GOOD DAY.
694
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:44,426
>> Trent: DAISY, PIPER, YOU
695
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,301
COVER THE P.M.O.T.R.N.
696
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,528
SAM, YOU COME WITH US IN CASE WE
697
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:47,973
NEED A TARGET TO DRAW GUNFIRE.
698
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:48,737
LET'S GO.
699
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,347
[ APPLAUSE ]
700
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,356
>> GREETINGS, EVERYONE.
701
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,958
UH, JUST A HEADS-UP -- I MIGHT
702
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,489
BE ASSASSINATED AT SOME POINT
703
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,034
DURING THIS SPEECH, SO WE'LL
704
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,558
DESIGNATE THOSE FIRST FEW ROWS
705
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,434
THERE AS THE SPLASH ZONE.
706
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,038
>> Trent: CORNINGHAM!
707
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,565
>> OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, YOU
708
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:26,171
SAN DIEGANS ARE BECOMING QUITE
709
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:28,073
TROUBLESOME.
710
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,984
HOW DID YOU DECIPHER MY PLAN?
711
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,376
>> Trent: ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR
712
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,148
CORNINGHAM.
713
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:32,905
ELEMENTARY.
714
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,912
>> AND A LITTLE BIT OF TORTURE.
715
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:35,684
MOSTLY TORTURE.
716
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,252
>> IT'S TOO LATE NOW, ANYWAY.
717
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,850
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PULL THE
718
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,591
TRIGGER, AND THE PRIME MINISTER
719
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,087
OF THE ROYAL NAVY IS DEAD,
720
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,918
AND REUNIFICATION IS DOOMED.
721
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:45,994
>> Sam: UH, HELLO?
722
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,592
WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED.
723
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,064
THE JIG IS UP.
724
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,601
YOU'RE ALONE UP HERE.
725
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,597
[ GUN COCKS ]
726
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,998
>> OH, NO, HE ISN'T.
727
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,199
DROP IT.
728
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,572
AND I'M NOT SHARING IT WITH
729
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,269
SAN DIEGO.
730
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,340
>> IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
731
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,938
THE BEER MAT YOU FOUND -- YOU
732
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,069
PLANTED IT TO SET US UP TO BE
733
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:01,713
AMBUSHED.
734
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:02,508
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
735
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,879
'CAUSE I'M NOT STANDING BY AS
736
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,346
LITTLE BRITAIN'S COLONIZED BY A
737
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,575
BUNCH OF BEER PONG-PLAYING
738
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,079
SURFERS.
739
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,549
>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEER PONG?
740
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,948
IT'S JUST LIKE SNOOKER, EXCEPT
741
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,079
THE BALLS GET WET!
742
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,594
>> DON'T BITE ME!
743
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,416
>> BLIMEY.
744
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,903
>> [ GRUNTING ]
745
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,542
>> Trent: IT'S CALLED SOCCER.
746
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,108
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I...SOCKED
747
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:33,535
HIM.
748
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,940
>> TRENT, LOOK!
749
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,411
>> Trent: CORNINGHAM, FREEZE!
750
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,039
>> GOD SAVE LITTLE BRITAIN!
751
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:38,614
[ GUN CLICKING ]
752
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,951
WHAT?
753
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,046
[ WHIMPERING ]
754
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,317
>> Sam: MIGHT BE HARD TO SHOOT
755
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:43,145
WITHOUT BULLETS.
756
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,619
NOT BAD FOR A GUY WITH HUGE,
757
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,317
WEIRD HANDS.
758
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,448
>> Piper: CORNINGHAM!
759
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,993
>> CORNINGHAM!
760
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,617
>> WAIT.
761
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,262
HELLO.
762
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,257
>> Piper: HI.
763
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,228
>> HOW DARE YOU SAY NO TO THIS
764
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,126
PRIME CUT OF AMERICAN BEEF?
765
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,057
>> [ SCREAMING ]
766
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,273
>> NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN
767
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:58,965
200 YEARS --
768
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,095
[ CRASH ]
769
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,929
[ CROWD GASPS ]
770
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,779
>> Piper: WELL, I GUESS IT'S
771
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,135
LIKE WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ALWAYS
772
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,252
SAYS -- HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A
773
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,145
WOMAN SCORNED.
774
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,645
>> AND AS TYLER PERRY SAYS,
775
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,247
NEVER MAKE A BLACK WOMAN TAKE
776
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,279
OFF HER EARRINGS.
777
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,294
>> Piper: AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.
778
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,187
>> LET LITTLE BRITAIN AND
779
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,158
GREATER SAN DIEGO BE JOINED AS
780
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,026
ONE.
781
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,785
>> GNARLY KEY, BRITISH DUDE.
782
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:28,964
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
783
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,031
WONDERFUL.
784
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,099
I DIDN'T GET ASSASSINATED.
785
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,197
>> Kove: FINALLY, THE
786
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,798
PLANTAR'S WART OF LITTLE BRITAIN
787
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,670
HAS BEEN FROZEN OFF THE FOOT OF
788
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,468
SAN DIEGO.
789
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,169
>> NOW EVERY SAN DIEGAN CAN
790
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,970
DRIVE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE
791
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:41,672
ROAD, THE WAY GOD INTENDED.
792
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,184
>> BUT AT WHAT COST?
793
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,306
WE THINK JUST BECAUSE WE'RE
794
00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,212
AMERICANS, WE CAN BARGE INTO A
795
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,483
FOREIGN LAND AND TELL PEOPLE HOW
796
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,121
TO LIVE THEIR LIVES USING FORCE,
797
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,717
DESTROYING CULTURES?
798
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,489
AN EYE FOR AN EYE LEAVES THE
799
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,487
WORLD BLIND.
800
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,189
BUT IN THE WORLD OF THE BLIND,
801
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,530
THE ONE-EYED MAN IS KING.
802
00:21:00,527 --> 00:21:02,027
>> WOW.
803
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,658
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.
804
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,133
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE COULD
805
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:07,131
REALLY USE SOMEONE LIKE YOU...
806
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,233
TO GO DOWN TO THE GARAGE AND PUT
807
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,544
SOME BUMPER NUTS ON MY TRUCK.
808
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,666
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS?
809
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,040
THEY'RE LIKE BALLS, BUT YOU PUT
810
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,408
THEM ON YOUR BUMPER, SO IT MAKES
811
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,836
YOUR TRUCK LOOK LIKE IT ACTUALLY
812
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:15,341
HAS NUTS!
813
00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:16,312
[ LAUGHTER ]
814
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,649
THESE BIG, FAT NUTS!
815
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,005
>> I CAN PUT A DONG ON YOUR HOOD
816
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:20,852
AS AN ORNAMENT.
817
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,077
>> OH! NOW, THAT'S AMERICAN!
818
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,181
>> All: CHEERS.
819
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,022
>> Piper: WE DID IT.
820
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,416
>> SO, THE SUN FINALLY SETS ON
821
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,718
THE LITTLE BRITISH EMPIRE.
822
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,319
[ SIGHS ]
823
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,660
I FEEL A KINSHIP WITH YOU,
824
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:29,355
TRENT.
825
00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:30,716
IN A DIFFERENT WORLD, PERHAPS
826
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,163
YOU AND I COULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS
827
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,728
OR LOVERS.
828
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,226
NO. JUST FRIENDS.
829
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:36,157
LET'S STICK WITH THAT.
830
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,332
>> Trent: WHERE -- WHERE THE
831
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,730
HELL ARE MY SUNGLASSES?
832
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:39,501
>> Sam: THESE?
833
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,429
>> Trent: [ SIGHS ]
834
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,103
>> Sam: BIG HANDS, SMALL HEART
835
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:42,571
WORKS FOR ME.
836
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,739
>> Piper: SAM, DON'T BE A DICK.
837
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,037
>> IT'S SUCH A SHAME ALPHONSE
838
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,368
HAD TO DIE.
839
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,444
>> Trent: WAIT A SECOND.
840
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,341
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
841
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:51,042
WHO'S ALPHONSE?
842
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:02,190
>> Alphonse: [ GRUNTS ]
843
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,818
ANNA?
844
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,131
>> TO MY DEAREST ALPHONSE, I
845
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:12,470
MUST CONFESS I'VE ONLY BEEN
846
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:14,195
TENDING TO YOU SO I COULD DRUG
847
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,070
YOU, STEAL YOUR ORGANS, AND SELL
848
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,268
THEM TO THE CAMBODIAN HERBAL
849
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:18,609
MEDICINE INDUSTRY.
850
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:19,805
HOWEVER, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN
851
00:22:19,806 --> 00:22:21,566
MY THOUGHTS...BECAUSE OF THE
852
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,084
MONEY I'VE MADE VIA SELLING YOUR
853
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:23,805
INNARDS.
854
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:26,210
P.S. I'M A DUDE.
855
00:22:26,212 --> 00:22:28,552
>> Alphonse: OHH, BOLLOCKS!
52740
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