Original subtitles

>> Kove: EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN

IN THE NICK CANNON ULTRA-MAX

PRISON FOR THE PAST EIGHT YEARS,

THIS MAN HAS CONTINUED TO RUN

CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES REMOTELY

FROM BEHIND BARS.

SEEMS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP HIM

IS TO ASSASSINATE HIM.

>> Trent: BUT HOW?

>> Kove: I'M STILL TALKING.

THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GET CLOSE

TO HIM IS YOU, BUT IN ORDER TO

DO THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO

BE IMPRISONED AS A CRIMINAL

YOURSELF.

YOU HAVE THE STOMACH FOR THAT,

TRENT?

>> Trent: YES, I MEAN --

>> Kove: I'M STILL TALKING.

>> Trent: SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE

ASKING ME --

>> Kove: STILL TALKING.

THERE'S ONLY ONE LAST THING --

THE MAN YOU HAVE TO KILL

IS...YOUR FATHER.

>> Trent: SURE. NO PROBLEM.

LOVE IT.

>> DIEGO!

>> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

>> DIEGO!

>> Kove: TRENT, YOU WILL FAKE

THE ASSASSINATION OF THE

PRESIDENT OF THE NAVY TODAY AT

SAN DIEGO'S ANNUAL GARDEN PARTY.

SHALL WE GO IN?

>> Trent: I JUST GOT YOUR

INVITATION.

LOOKS LIKE YOU R.S.V.P.'d DEAD.

>> AGENT TRENT HAUSER FROM

NTSF:SD:SUV::!

PUT THAT GUN AWAY,

AGENT TRENT HAUSER!

AAH! SHOT BY TRENT HAUSER!

PRESIDENT OF THE NAVY!

>> Kove: NO! TRENT HAUSER!

YOU'VE ASSASSINATED THE

PRESIDENT OF THE NAVY!

YOU'RE GONNA GO TO JAIL FOR

LIFE!

WAKE UP! WAKE UP, MR. PRESIDENT!

>> TRENT HAUSER, YOU'RE HEREBY

SENTENCED TO THREE CONSECUTIVE

LIFE TERMS FOR THE MURDER OF THE

PRESIDENT OF THE NAVY.

>> Trent: MAKE IT FOUR.

[ CROWD GASPS ]

>> ORDER! ORDER!

[ GAVEL POUNDS ]

>> COULD THIS ELEVATOR BE ANY

SLOWER?

REMEMBER CHANDLER?

FROM "FRIENDS"?

>> Sam: ALL RIGHT,

MR. PRESIDENT, THIS IS WHERE

WE'LL BE LAYING LOW FOR A WEEK,

UNTIL TRENT KILLS HIS FATHER.

>> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

THIS IS A TOTAL CRAP HOLE!

>> Sam: UM, SIR, THIS IS A SUITE

IN A FOUR-STAR HOTEL.

THIS IS --

>> FOUR STARS?

[ Chuckling ] I'M SORRY.

DID YOU SAY FOUR STARS?

YOU EXPECT ME TO LIVE IN A

FOUR-STAR HOTEL?

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME

KIND OF ANIMAL?!

FIVE-STAR MICHELIN-DIAMOND

QUALITY!

[ GAGS ]

>> Sam: YOU OKAY?

>> WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

IS THIS WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO

SLEEP OR TAKE A DUMP?

OH! HEY, EVERYBODY!

LET'S GIVE THE PRESIDENT OF THE

NAVY A GARDEN VIEW!

I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A POOL

VIEW.

EVERYBODY KNOWS I LIKE TO STAND

AT THE WINDOW AND MASTURBATE.

REAL PEOPLE!

NOT BIRDS AND TREES.

WHAT'S THIS? SILVER!

GRANDMAS, CUTLERY, AND

WHOREHOUSES!

THAT'S ALL SILVER'S GOOD FOR.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

>> Sam: HEY, THIS WASN'T MY --

>> YOU SHUT UP!

WHAT?

>> THE WHOLE WORLD THINKS YOU'RE

DEAD.

IF YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM, I

CALCULATE TRENT HAUSER WILL BE

KILLED IN PRISON.

>> [ Chuckling ] OH, REALLY?

WELL, LET ME CALCULATE HOW MUCH

I'M GONNA SMASH IN YOUR PLASTIC

HEAD.

SCREW YOU, SPACE DILDO!

[ SCREAMS ]

DON'T LET HIM MAKE LOVE TO ME.

I KNOW THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS.

>> SOMEBODY WANTED TO SEE YOU.

>> Trent: DAD?

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

OH, MY SON.

>> THAT'S DADDY GUTTING SOMEBODY

WITH A HUNTING KNIFE.

>> Kove: AND WHO'S THAT?

>> THAT'S A GRADE-A SCUMBAG.

>> Kove: ALPHONSE. GOOD.

IT'S FATHER'S DAY TODAY.

THAT MEANS IT'S THE ONE DAY OF

THE YEAR THAT TRENT HAS CUSTODY

OF OUR BOYS.

>> Alphonse: BUT TRENT'S

UNDERCOVER IN PRISON.

>> Kove: EXACTLY.

THAT'S WHY I'M PUTTING YOU IN

CHARGE OF CHEROKEE AND JERICHO

FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS.

FATHER'S DAY MEANS MOTHER'S GOT

THE DAY OFF.

>> Alphonse: [ GRUNTS ]

OKAY. WE'LL BE FINE.

YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY OFF.

ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO --

>> [ GIGGLES ]

>> MY SON, TRENT --

TRENT JINGLES.

>> Trent: IT'S...HAUSER NOW.

I CHANGED IT.

>> ASHAMED OF YOUR OLD MAN?

>> Trent: NO.

SOUNDED TOO CHRISTMAS-Y.

>> WORST THING ABOUT BEING STUCK

IN HERE IS I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE

TO TELL YOU I WAS SORRY.

>> Trent: [ SCOFFS ]

NOW YOU'RE SORRY.

>> [ SIGHS ]

I SQUANDERED SO MANY YEARS

BLOWING UP ORPHANAGES AND

NURSING HOMES.

THE TRUE JOY OF LIFE WAS MY OWN

LITTLE BOY.

THESE ARE YOUR DRAWINGS FROM

WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.

>> Trent: YOU KEPT THEM?

>> BEST VIEW ON EARTH.

A WINDOW TO THE LITTLE BOY I-I

ONCE HAD AND -- AND I LOST.

[ WHIMPERS ]

>> Trent: THERE, THERE.

DO NOT CRY.

>> [ SOBS ]

BABY JINGLES.

>> Trent: BABY HAUSER.

>> NO, NO, NO!

>> Sam: SIR, PLEASE JUST RELAX.

>> WHAT'S THIS?

>> Sam: THOSE ARE BLACKOUT

CURTAINS.

>> CAN YOU SEE ME?!

>> Sam: YEAH.

>> THEN IT'S NOT BLACKOUT!

>> Sam: NO, I --

>> I LIKE TO MAKE LOVE --

AGGRESSIVE LOVE -- AND WHEN I

DO, I DON'T WANT EVERYBODY

WATCHING ME, OKAY?

I'M KIND OF A PRIVATE MAN.

>> Sam: YEAH.

>> WELL, WELL. LOOKY THERE.

TREATS, EVERYBODY!

[ SCREAMS ]

52% CACAO!

WHAT AM I?! AN ANIMAL?!

YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF DOG?!

YOU!

BRING YOUR DUMB BLUE EYES OVER

HERE AND SCAN THIS FOR SEMEN,

'CAUSE IT'S COVERED IN IT.

>> I'M NOT EQUIPPED FOR THAT.

>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

SAM -- I'VE LIVED A LONG TIME.

I'VE BEEN ALL AROUND THE WORLD,

AND I'VE SEEN SOME THINGS THAT

NO MAN SHOULD SEE.

BUT NOT UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT

DID I EVER KNOW WHAT ANNE FRANK

FELT LIKE.

>> AND, UH, THIS IS THE DAY

ROOM.

>> Trent: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY

DOING?

>> PUTTING TOGETHER A PUZZLE.

ANYTHING CAN BE TURNED INTO A

WEAPON, SO WE HAVE TO PLAY GAMES

IN OUR MINDS.

HEY! WANT TO PLAY SOME CARDS?

>> Trent: I DEAL.

YOU HAVE ANY 8's?

>> GO FISH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU KNOW, SON -- IN A WAY, THIS

HAS BECOME A-A BLESSING.

GOT ANY 3's?

>> Trent: GO FISH.

I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS PLACE.

I TATTOOED OUR CELLBLOCK ON MY

ARM.

THERE'S THE FRONT DOOR.

THERE'S THE BACK DOOR.

JUST WALK DOWN THIS HALLWAY

RIGHT OUT.

>> I DON'T DESERVE TO BE OUT.

I'VE DONE SOME TERRIBLE THINGS.

I'M CONTENT TO PAY MY DEBT TO

SOCIETY.

AND NOW YOU'RE HERE.

EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES.

GOT ANY 9's?

>> Trent: HOW DID YOU KNOW?

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> LOOK OUT! HE'S GOT A MARBLE!

>> ANYTHING CAN BE A WEAPON.

WATCH YOUR BACK.

>> YOU CALL THESE GIRLS ESCORTS?

NEITHER ONE OF THEM HAS DONE

CIRQUE du SOLEIL!

>> Trent: [ GRUNTS ]

KOVE?!

>> Kove: HOW'S PRISON TREATING

YOU, AGENT HAUSER?

>> Trent: WHAT THE HELL?

>> Kove: I CAN'T AROUSE

SUSPICIONS, SO I HAVE TO ACT

LIKE I'M ABUSING YOU WHILE WE

TALK.

>> Trent: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Kove: OKAY, HAUSER!

UH, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE WHAT I

GIVE YOU, AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE

IT!

>> Trent: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Kove: YOU'VE BEEN SLACKING.

I GOT YOU PUT IN THE SAME CELL

WITH YOUR OLD MAN, AND YOU STILL

HAVEN'T KILLED HIM.

>> Trent: HE'S ACTUALLY A REALLY

NICE GUY.

>> Kove: DON'T GET SUCKED IN,

TRENT.

HE'S A MASTER CRIMINAL.

YOU MU KILL HIM!

>> Trent: [ GRUNTS ]

WELL, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY.

>> Kove: USE THIS.

POISON ENOUGH TO KILL OVER 50

KITTENS.

IT'S BEEN TESTED.

>> Trent: IS THAT STRONG ENOUGH?

50 KITTENS IS LIKE 25 POUNDS.

>> Kove: OKAY, HAUSER.

I'M FINISHED WITH YOU.

YOU BETTER HOPE I'M IN A BETTER

MOOD THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU.

>> Trent: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Trent: THANKS, KOVE.

GREAT PEP TALK.

>> Sam: MR. PRESIDENT, YOU CAN'T

SLEEP ALL DAY.

MR. PRESIDENT?

>> I'M FREE! FREEDOM!

THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME!

>> Trent: AAH! DAMN IT!

>> [ LAUGHS ]

I REVERSED THE NEEDLE.

>> Trent: HOW DID YOU KNOW?

>> YOU'RE MY SON.

THE ONLY POSSIBLE REASON YOU

COULD BE HERE WAS ON ASSIGNMENT

TO ASSASSINATE ME.

>> Trent: SO YOU KNEW ABOUT THE

POISON?

>> OH, YEAH.

AND THAT SAME POISON THAT WAS

MEANT FOR ME IS NOW TRAVELING

THROUGH YOUR THUMB AND INTO YOUR

BLOODSTREAM.

>> Trent: EXCEPT FOR THE FACT

THAT I'M WEARING THUMB

PROTECTORS.

>> OF COURSE YOU ARE, WHICH IS

WHY, WHEN YOU WEREN'T LOOKING, I

GRABBED THIS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> Trent: WHICH IS WHY I HAVE

THE REAL POISONS IN THIS!

>> [ GRUNTS ]

I WAS SO PROUD OF YOU, SON.

>> Trent: LIKE FATHER, LIKE

DONE.

ALL THESE YEARS, I HATED

HUCK JINGLES, BUT AFTER COMING

FACE TO FACE WITH HIM, I

REALIZED HE'S THE FATHER I NEVER

HAD, NEVER WANTED, AND NOW CAN'T

LIVE WITHOUT.

>> Kove: THAT WAS YOUR TRUE

MISSION, TRENT -- TO COME TO

TERMS WITH YOUR FATHER.

YOUR UNRESOLVED ISSUES WERE

GETTING IN THE WAY OF YOUR WORK.

I SENT YOU THERE TO MAKE PEACE

WITH YOUR FATHER.

>> Trent: I KNOW, AND I DID --

RIGHT BEFORE I KILLED HIM.

>> Kove: HAPPY FATHER'S DAY,

TRENT.

>> Trent: FATHER'S DAY...NO, I

WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE CUSTODY OF

JERICHO AND CHEROKEE TODAY.

I LET THEM DOWN.

>> Kove: OH, TRENT -- IT'S NEVER

TOO LATE TO BE A FATHER.

>> Trent: [ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ GIGGLES ]

>> Trent: HEY!

>> * BRUSHING OFF THE DUST FOR

SOMEONE ELSE *

* CORNERED TO THE CUSP OF

SOMEONE ELSE *

>> [ WHISTLES ]

[ GRUNTS ]

>> MY PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY.

I ALLOWED MY SON TO THINK HE

KILLED ME WITH THE PLACEBO, THEN

I LOWERED MY HEARTBEAT TO

SIMULATE DEATH.

I GAMBLED THEY'D WANT TO AUTOPSY

AND TAKE ME TO THE OUTSIDE, AND

HERE I AM.

>> I TOTALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

>> SHH, SHH, SHH.

[ BONES CRACK ]

>> [ GAGS ]

AAH!

LOOK AT IT!

CACAO!

WHOO!

LOOK AT IT!

FIVE-STAR MICHELIN DIA--

FI-FIVE-STAR MICHELIN-DIAMOND.

[ GAGS ]

[ SPITS ]

THIS IS -- THIS IS CRAP!

OHH!

CIRQUE du SOLEIL!

[ SCREAMS ]

UGH!

OH, MY GOD.

[ SCREAMS ]

CA-CA-CA-CACAO!

I'M A MAN!

I LIKE TO STAND AT THE WIND--

STAND-STAND AT THE WINDOW AND

MASTURBATE!

[ ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS ]