Original subtitles

[ GEARS WHIRRING ]

>> MY NAME IS GABE SAMPSON,

FAMOUS ROBOTICIST.

STRIKE THAT.

ICONIC ROBOTICIST.

I FEAR MY LIFE IS IN DANGER.

AFTER 10 YEARS, I MUST REVEAL

THE SECRET THAT I HAVE KEPT

HIDING FOR FAR, FAR TOO LONG.

[ GUN COCKS ]

YOU.

YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE.

THE THIRD RULE OF ROBOTICS --

YOU CANNOT KILL A HUMAN!

>> THEY HAVE AN APP FOR THAT.

>> UNH!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE LAST WORDS

I'LL EVER HEAR...

ARE AN APP PUN.

>> DIEGO!

>> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

>> DIEGO!

[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]

>> Alphonse: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT

TO A ROBOT ATTORNEY.

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD A ROBOT

ATTORNEY, THEN ONE WILL BE

APPOINTED FOR YOU BY THE COURT.

YOU ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT TO

REMAIN --

>> Trent: UNCUFF THAT ROBOT!

>> Sam: S.A.M. IS OUR FRIEND.

>> Alphonse: S.A.M. IS A

MURDERER.

>> Trent: SO AM I.

>> Sam: WHAT PROOF DO YOU HAVE?

>> Piper: WELL, HE WAS HOLDING

THE GUN, AND HE CONFESSED.

>> Trent: YOU BUY IT?

HOW MANY TIMES HAS ALL THE

EVIDENCE POINTED AT ME AS BEING

GUILTY BUT AT THE LAST MINUTE,

SOME CRUCIAL PIECE OF EVIDENCE

COMES TO LIGHT AND CLEARS MY

NAME AND REPUTATION?

>> Alphonse: 13.

>> Trent: EXACTLY.

SOMETHING STRANGE IS GOING ON

HERE.

>> Piper: THOUGHT YOU MIGHT SAY

THAT.

THAT'S WHY I CALLED IN THE

PARANORMALIST.

>> Sam: THE WHO?

>> A SHADOWY, INVISIBLE WORLD IS

ALL AROUND US.

YOU JUST CAN'T SEE IT

BECAUSE IT'S INVISIBLE AND

SHADOWY.

I SUSPECT GHOSTS...

OR SOME KIND OF MANIMAL.

>> Piper: OH! ISN'T HE GREAT?

>> Alphonse: SPOOKY AS HELL.

>> Trent: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.

SECONDLY, THEY KILLED THE LAST

MANIMAL TWO YEARS AGO.

>> Sam: MAYBE THE EMOTION CHIP

WE IMPLANTED IN S.A.M. TWO DAYS

MALFUNCTIONED.

>> Trent: WHAT? NO.

WAY TOO OBVIOUS.

>> DO YOU NEED HELP, SAM?

>> Sam: NO, I'M JUST

CROSS-REFERENCING THE PHONE

DATABASE.

OH, MY GOD!

>> DID YOU THINK I WAS HUMAN FOR

A MOMENT?

>> Sam: NO. WHAT HAPPENED TO

YOUR FACE?

>> I BORROWED THE SKIN FROM THAT

EXECUTED TERRORIST IN THE

MORGUE.

I REALLY WANT TO FIT IN, SAM.

>> Sam: BUDDY, BEING HUMAN IS

ABOUT MORE THAN YOUR OUTWARD

APPEARANCE.

IT'S ABOUT FEELINGS.

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED

LONELINESS AND THEN

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS AND THEN

OPEN HOSTILITY AND THEN RAGE...

AND THEN AN EVEN DEEPER

LONELINESS?

>> NO, I HAVEN'T.

>> Sam: YEAH, THEN GIVE UP.

YOU'RE DEAD INSIDE.

>> PERHAPS THAT'S NOT QUITE

TRUE.

MY FATHER AND I CREATED S.A.M.

MY NAME IS AARON SAMPSON, BUT

YOU CAN CALL SAM.

>> Sam: BUT I'M SAM, AND THIS IS

S.A.M.

WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL YOU

AARON?

>> WHY DON'T WE CALL YOU AARON,

AND I' GO BY SAM?

>> Sam: 'CAUSE YOUR NAME'S

AARON.

>> JUST CALL ME SAM.

>> Sam: BUT I'M SAM.

>> THEN WE'LL CALL YOU SAM, TOO.

>> Trent: SO, CLEARLY, YOU

MODELED S.A.M. AFTER YOURSELF.

>> NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF.

JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS AND HIS

EMOTION CIRCUITS SHOULD BE FULLY

OPERATIVE.

>> Sam: WHAT HAPPENS IF HE GETS

UNPREDICTABLE? ANGRY?

BEING HUMAN IS FULL OF ECSTASIES

AND BLISS, DON'T GET ME WRONG,

BUT YOU SPEND A LIFETIME TRYING

TO THREAD THIS NEEDLE, AND THE

METAPHOR WITH THE NEEDLE --

>> EUREKA!

>> I AM SUDDENLY FILLED WITH

EMOTIONS.

I WANT TO KILL SOMEONE!

>> Trent: ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I

THINK OF IT, PROBABLY WAS THAT

EMOTION CHIP.

>> OR A CHUPACABRA.

>> Piper: THAT'S INTERESTING.

>> Alphonse: GOAT SUCKER.

>> YOU MONSTER!

YOU INFERNAL MACHINE!

YOU KILLED MY FATHER!

DISMANTLE HIM AT ONCE!

>> Piper: GOT TO DO IT.

[ DRILL WHIRRING ]

>> Alphonse: I THINK THE

PARANORMALIST IS ONTO SOMETHING.

THIS CASE HAS TO BE

SUPERNATURAL.

LOOK AT THIS.

GABE SAMPSON ORIGINALLY STARTED

ROBOTICS & SON BY HIMSELF.

THEN IN 1992, BROUGHT ON HIS SON

AARON SAMPSON.

>> Piper: THAT'S OVER FOUR YEARS

AGO.

HE HASN'T AGED A BIT.

>> Alphonse: FOUR YEARS AGO?

THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO.

>> Piper: WHAT YEAR IS IT?

>> Alphonse: PIPER, DON'T YOU

SEE?

SAMPSON IS A VAMPIRE.

>> Piper: GHOST -- VAMPIRE!

>> AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

BOO-YAH, SHOTGUN!

>> Trent: WELL, THAT'S

ZOOKEEPER.

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

[ WHIRRING ]

WHAT THE HELL?!

S.A.M., YOU ESCAPED?

>> S.A.M.?

I AM NOT AN S.A.M.

I AM A P.A.L. --

PERSONAL ANDROID LOVER.

>> Trent: YOU LOOK JUST LIKE

S.A.M.

>> I HAVE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

BAR CODE.

RACIST.

>> Trent: SORRY.

>> ROBOT X SENT ME WITH

INFORMATION.

S.A.M. WAS HACKED.

ROBOT X HAS PROOF.

THE REAL MURDERER IS

AARON SAMPSON.

>> Trent: WHAT?!

>> AND HE'S A ROBOT.

>> Trent: OH. I KNEW IT.

>> HOW COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY

KNOWN THAT?

>> Trent: I JUST -- I DID, ALL

RIGHT?

NEVER YOU MIND.

BY THE WAY, UH...

HOW MUCH FOR A HANDJIBBER?

I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

>> Sam: THERE WE GO.

OH!

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SAM?

MY ONLY FRIEND HAS COME TO

DISMANTLE ME.

I'M EXPERIENCING A NEW EMOTION.

I BELIEVE IT'S WHAT'S CALLED

BUMMED.

>> Sam: BUDDY, I'M NOT TAKING

YOU APART.

I'M PUTTING YOU BACK TOGETHER.

WE GOT TO GET TO ROBOT TOWN AND

GET YOUR LIFE BACK.

>> Alphonse: WE NEVER GONE UP

AGAINST A VAMPIRE BEFORE.

HOPE WE MAKE IT IN TIME.

>> Piper: ACCORDING TO TRENT'S

BRAIN GPS, HE'S IN ROBOT TOWN

RIGHT NOW.

WE'VE GOT TO WARN HIM ABOUT THIS

BLOOD-SUCKING FREAK.

>> Alphonse: WE'LL BE READY FOR

HIM -- HOLY WATER, STAKE, SILVER

BULLETS.

>> Piper: AREN'T SILVER BULLETS

FOR WEREWOLVES?

>> Alphonse: JUST BECAUSE WE'RE

GOING TO A VAMPIRE PARTY DOESN'T

MEAN A WEREWOLF WON'T BE ON THE

ON THE GUEST LIST.

>> Piper: GOOD CALL.

GLAD WE CALLED IN THE

PARANORMALIST.

>> Trent: HEY, WHERE'S ROBOT X?

>> ARE YOU LOST, FLESHBAG?

>> Trent: YOU GUYS SEE ROBOT X?

ROBOT X?

>> YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS PART

OF TOWN.

>> I'LL BE YOUR ROBOT X FOR A

PRICE.

>> Trent: HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

SHORT STUFF.

SEEN ROBOT X?

>> THAT GUY IS TALKING TO A

FIRE HYDRANT.

>> Trent: OH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA

TALK, ARE YOU?

WELL, MAYBE I HAVE A WAY TO MAKE

YOU TALK.

TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO KNOW.

>> HEY, SKINJOB!

>> Trent: [ CHOKES ]

>> All: ROBOTS! ROBOTS! ROBOTS!

>> OH! THAT MAN'S THREATENING A

MAINTENANCE DROID.

DOUCHE.

[ CLICKING ]

>> WAKEY WAKEY, AGENT HAUSER.

>> Trent: [ CHUCKLES ]

SO IT'S TRUE.

YOU'RE A ROBOT.

>> OF COURSE NOT.

THAT'S JUST SOMETHING I TELL THE

ROBOTS TO KEEP THEM IN LINE.

>> Trent: ENOUGH WITH THE

PLEASANTRIES, SAMPSON.

WHAT'S YOUR ENDGAME?

>> YOU'RE THE FLY IN MY

OINTMENT, HAUSER.

>> Trent: DON'T YOU MEAN OIL,

YOU SQUEAKY ROBOT?

>> I AM NOT A ROBOT!

I HATE ROBOTS.

MY FATHER WAS OBSESSED WITH

THEM.

HE CREATED YOUR S.A.M. UNIT, AND

HE LOVED IT LIKE A SON...

EVEN MORE THAN HIS REAL SON.

>> Trent: SO YOU HAD HIM KILLED.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

CORRECTION -- I HAD HIM

IRONICALLY DESTROYED BY HIS OWN

CREATION.

AND NOW YOUR S.A.M. UNIT IS

HEADED FOR THE SCRAP HEAP.

>> Alphonse: FREEZE, VAMPIRE!

HOLY WATER!

>> Piper: TRENT, GARLIC GARLAND!

>> Trent: WHAT THE HELL?

>> Piper: LONG STORY SHORT,

SAMPSON'S A VAMPIRE.

>> Trent: NO, HE'S NOT.

HE'S A ROBOT.

>> I'M NOT A VAMPIRE AND I'M NOT

A ROBOT!

I'M JUST A SON WHO NEVER GOT

ENOUGH LOVE FROM HIS FATHER.

>> Piper: THEN HOW DO YOU STAY

SO YOUNG?

>> WELL, MY MOTHER WAS ASIAN.

>> Sam: YO, WE FIGURED IT OUT.

THE MEMORY CHIP THAT HE PLANTED

INTO S.A.M. HAD SOME SORT OF

PROGRAM ON IT THAT MADE HIM KILL

SAMPSON'S FATHER.

>> YOU MURDERER.

I MAY BE GEARS AND M--

>> Trent: EVERYONE SHUT UP!

YOU'RE WRONG.

HE'S A ROBOT WHO HATES ROBOTS

WHO WANTED TO TURN THE TIDE

AGAINST ROBOTS, SO HE HAD A

ROBOT COMMIT THE FIRST HUMAN

MURDER.

>> Alphonse: SO HE'S A VAMPIRE.

>> Trent: HE'S A ROBOT!

>> I'M NOT A ROBOT!

>> Trent: REALLY?

THEN EXPLAIN THIS!

>> AAH!

>> Trent: RED OIL.

PRETTY CONVINCING.

>> Alphonse: GO BACK TO HELL,

VAMPIRE!

>> FATHER!

[ GROANING ]

>> Trent: SO, UH...

GUESS HE WASN'T A ROBOT.

>> Alphonse: OR A VAMPIRE.

>> Sam: UNH-UNH.

>> Piper: OR A WEREWOLF.

>> MANIMAL?

>> Sam: YEAH, BUDDY.

>> Piper: WELCOME BACK, S.A.M.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

>> I'M FEELING HAPPINESS.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK TO WORK

WITH MY EMOTIONS AND ALL MY

HUMAN FRIENDS.

THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO LEARN

FROM YOU.

LOVE, FOR INSTAN--

>> Trent: UNH!

>> MY EMOTIONS.

I CAN FEEL THEM SLIPPING AWAY.

>> Trent: THIS THING WAS MORE

TROUBLE THAN IT WAS WORTH.

>> HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

>> Trent: START BY GETTING RID

OF THAT THING.

>> Alphonse: NOW THAT'S MY KIND

OF ROBOT.

>> THEY WILL PAY.

OUR TIME WILL COME.

>> Trent: WE GOT TO GET HIM BACK

ONLINE, AND FAST!

>> I'VE BEEN OFFLINE FOR THREE

MONTHS.

I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT.

[ GUNSHOTS ]

>> NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

>> YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF MY

LIFE.

>> FRIENDSHIP COMES FIRST.

>> THE CITY IS OURS.

>> ROs BEFORE HOs.

>> WE'LL CALL YOU SALIM.

>> Sam: LIKE "SALIMA GOMEZ"?

>> WELL, IT'S LIKE SAM IN

INDIAN, UNLESS YOU HAVE A

PROBLEM WITH, UH...

PEOPLE FROM INDIA.

ARE YOU A RACIST?

>> Sam: NO. NO, I'M NOT.

>> THEN YOU ARE SALIM.