Original subtitles

>> Frankenstein: [ GRUNTS ]

>> Polidori: HERE.

I MADE A LIST OF GROCERIES WE

NEED.

>> Frankenstein: DON'T I EVER

GET A PRIVATE MOMENT?!

>> Polidori: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT

GETS SO ANNOYED IF THE

CUPBOARD'S NOT STOCKED!

>> Frankenstein: LET ME SEE

THAT.

WE'RE ALREADY OUT OF

N-PHENETHYL-4-PIPERIDINONE?

>> Polidori: RUNNING VERY LOW.

REMEMBER THAT MAN'S TAINT WE

TURNED INTO A TWAS?

>> Frankenstein: OH, YEAH.

THAT WAS A BITCH.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

YOU KNOW I HAVE SHY BOWELS.

>> Polidori: I WAGER THEY'RE

JUST FALSELY MODEST.

>> Frankenstein: WEIRDO.

>> [ SCREECHES ]

>> [ HOWLS ]

>> * BEYOND SPACE AND TIME

* STRANGER THAN THE SOUL

* IS THE WORLD

* DEEP INSIDE THE FRANKENHOLE

>> AAH!

>> * LEAVE ALL HOPE BEHIND

* GIVE UP ALL CONTROL

* TAKE MY HAND

* WE'RE GOING DOWN THE

FRANKENHOLE *

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ BELL JINGLES ]

>> WELL, IF IT ISN'T

VICTOR FRAHNKENSHTEEN.

[ LAUGHS ]

REMEMBER "YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN"?

GOOD MOVIE.

>> Frankenstein: MM. LAUGH RIOT.

I WOULD LIKE A FRESH, EQUAL-PART

MIXTURE OF ANTHRANILIC ACID,

PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE, BENZYL

CHLORIDE, GAMMA BUTYROLACTONE,

N-PHENETHYL-4-PIPERIDINONE, AND

POTASSIUM PERMANGANATE, PLEASE.

>> GESUNDHEIT [ LAUGHS ]

WHAT, ARE YOU MAKING A SPACE

POTION?

I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE.

I'M A PHARMACIST.

I-I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH

THAT STUFF.

UM, WHAT IS IT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> Frankenstein: IT'S NONE OF

YOUR BUSINESS.

>> OKAY. WRONG SIDE OF THE BED.

HEY, VICTOR, YOU MIND IF I PICK

YOUR BRAIN?

>> Frankenstein: ABSOLUTELY.

>> WHERE DO YOU GET ALL YOUR

IDEAS FROM?

>> Frankenstein: WHERE?

>> I MEAN, DO YOU EVER GET

INVENTOR'S BLOCK?

>> Frankenstein: NO, I DON'T.

>> I WAS THINKING YESTERDAY

ABOUT A SERUM.

>> Frankenstein: HERE IT COMES.

>> SEE, I WAS, UH, SPACING OUT

IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR, AND --

>> Frankenstein: SOUNDS

ASTOUNDING.

>> [ LAUGHS ] I-I GOT THAT.

BUT I JUST COULDN'T SHAKE THIS

IDEA THAT -- YOU KNOW, DON'T YOU

THINK IT'S WEIRD HOW YOU CAN

NEVER SEE YOUR OWN FACE?

>> Frankenstein: WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT?

>> YOU KNOW, WITHOUT A MIRROR OR

A CAMERA, YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR OWN

FACE.

>> Frankenstein: YEAH.

>> YOU CAN NEVER LICK YOUR OWN

TONGUE.

>> Frankenstein: OKAY, WHY DON'T

YOU JUST KEEP STIRRING, PLEASE?

>> THAT IS GONNA BE MY NEXT BIG

PROJECT.

>> Frankenstein: TO SEE YOUR OWN

FACE?

>> YEAH. IF I COULD JUST STEP

OUTSIDE MYSELF AND --

>> Frankenstein: ALL RIGHT,

HOTSHOT, JUST RELAX A LITTLE

BIT.

I'VE BEEN STANDING OUTSIDE

YOURSELF FOR SOME TIME NOW, AND,

UH, IT'S NO GREAT SHAKES.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

BOY, I JUST CAN'T GET A

VOLLEYBALL OVER THAT NET, CAN I?

BUT I-I JUST THINK MAYBE A GREAT

MAN SUCH AS YOURSELF -- THIS IS

JUST FLOATING THIS OUT THERE.

NO AGENDA -- I THINK YOU WOULD

BENEFIT STANDING OUTSIDE

YOURSELF AND OBSERVING THE

GENIUS AT WORK.

>> Frankenstein: LOOK, I'VE

ALREADY GONE BACK IN TIME AND

WATCHED MYSELF.

>> I THOUGHT OF THAT.

SEE, THAT WASN'T YOUR CURRENT

SELF.

THAT WAS YOUR PAST SELF.

BIG DIFFERENCE.

YOU'VE GOT NEW BRAIN CELLS NOW,

NEW SKIN, YADDA YADDA.

>> Frankenstein: "YADDA"?

>> H-HERE'S THE BOTTOM LINE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT SEEING

YOURSELF AS YOU ARE NOW, IN THE

PRESENT.

>> Frankenstein: YES, I SUPPOSE

THERE IS A SMALL NUGGET OF

INTELLIGENCE BURIED SOMEWHERE IN

WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Frankenstein: HMM.

[ THUNDER CRASHES, OWL HOOTS ]

>> VICTOR, YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED

YOUR FOOD.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

>> Frankenstein: OH, NO.

UH, WHY WOULD ANYTHING BE WRONG?

>> WELL, I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU.

>> Frankenstein: DON'T RUB IT

IN!

>> RUB WHAT IN?

>> Frankenstein: THAT I CAN'T

SEE MYSELF.

>> WELL, THEN, JUST LOOK INTO

THAT PRECIOUS HAND MIRROR OF

YOURS LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

>> Frankenstein: NOT GOOD

ENOUGH!

I WANT TO SEE THE REAL ME, THE

ONE THAT EVERYONE ELSE SEES.

>> OH, REALLY?

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO

THAT?

>> Frankenstein: YES!

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR THAT I CAN'T.

WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE GET THE

PLEASURE OF SEEING ME?

>> ARE YOU REALLY SERIOUS RIGHT

NOW?

>> Frankenstein: I'VE NEVER BEEN

MORE SERIOUS IN MY LIFE.

>> BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE JUST

TRYING TO WORM YOUR WAY OUT OF

TASTING MY LASAGNA.

>> Frankenstein: [ LAUGHS ]

WHAT AN EGO.

YOU THINK THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

REALLY, ELIZABETH, I -- DID YOU

SAY "WORM"?

>> YES. "WORM YOUR WAY OUT."

>> Frankenstein: OF COURSE.

THAT'S IT!

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS MELD THE

REGENERATIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF

AN EARTHWORM WITH MY OWN DNA,

CUT MYSELF IN HALF, AND VOILà!

I GET TWO MEs -- NOT A CLONE,

BUT TWO ORIGINALS!

BY GEORGE, I'M BRILLIANT!

>> THAT MAN SHOULD REALLY GET A

ROOM WITH HIMSELF.

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> UH, CAN I HOLD THE BRAIN?

>> Polidori: NO.

I'M HIS LAB PARTNER.

>> WELL, IT WAS MY IDEA.

>> Frankenstein: WHAT'S THAT?!

>> WELL, I MEAN, I GET CREDIT

FOR THIS, RIGHT?

>> Frankenstein: "CREDIT"?!

YOU HAD A STUPID IDEA.

I GAVE IT LIFE.

>> CAN I AT LEAST GET A "STUPID

IDEA BY" ON THE BOTTLE?

>> Frankenstein: YES.

NOW, THAT'S YOUR FIRST SMART

IDEA EVER.

OH, AND BY THE WAY, YOU CAN LICK

YOUR OWN TONGUE.

SEE?

>> WHY'D YOU ASK ME TO BE HERE,

THEN?

>> BECAUSE YGOR IS SICK.

NOW, CAN YOU PLEASE TIGHTEN THAT

FRONT-LEFT TIRE ON THE

WHEELCHAIR?

>> COME ON.

I WANT TO GET TO HOLD THE BRAIN

OR THE EYES OR SOMETHING.

>> Frankenstein: LOOK, WE ONLY

HAD ENOUGH SERUM TO REGENERATE

THESE SPECIFIC BODY PARTS, SO

NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO GET TO

DO THE FUN, SCIENCE-Y THINGS.

>> Polidori: THERE.

THAT WAS FUN...AND SCIENCE-Y.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> YOU GUYS ARE JUST JERKS.

>> Frankenstein: FINISHED!

MY PERFECTLY ORIGINAL

REGENERATED BRAIN AND EYES WITH

A SPEAKER MOUTH AND MICROPHONE

EARS, ALL READY TO OBSERVE THE

IDENTICALLY ORIGINAL ME, RIGHT

HERE!

>> CAN I FLIP THE SWITCH?

>> Frankenstein: YES, IF BABY

NEEDS HIS BOTTLE.

>> WOW.

YOU TOOK THE FUN OUT OF THAT.

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

HEY, I THINK IT'S WORKING.

>> Polidori: HERR FRANKENSTEIN,

ARE YOU THERE?

>> [ Frankenstein's voice ] YES!

THIS IS AMAZING, POLIDORI!

I SEE AND HEAR EVERYTHING

PERFECTLY!

>> EUREKA! I DID IT!

>> Frankenstein: REEL IT IN,

GLORY HOUND.

OKAY, ME, FEAST YOUR EYES ON ME!

[ LAUGHS ]

* DO-DO-DO

* DO-DO, DOODLE-OO, DO-DO

WELL, DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?

>> UM...YEAH.

>> Frankenstein: OF COURSE YOU

DO.

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

>> HELLO.

>> Frankenstein: OUT OF THE WAY.

THIS IS ABOUT ME, YOU HACK.

>> OH.

>> Frankenstein: H-HEY, GET A

LOAD OF ME WORKING.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> HOLY COW. I'M SUCH A PHONY.

>> Frankenstein: WHAT?

>> UH, NOTHING, NOTHING.

KEEP GOING.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

>> Frankenstein: * DO-DO-DO,

DO-DO-DO *

>> PATHETIC.

>> Frankenstein: WHERE ARE YOU

GOING?

>> OH, UH, JUST OUT FOR A BIT.

>> Frankenstein: OOH!

W-WHERE, WHERE?

>> OH, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU

FOOL!

>> Frankenstein: THAT WAS

STRANGE OF ME.

>> YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE LIKE THAT.

>> Frankenstein: UH, WHAT DO YOU

MEAN?

>> OH, YOU KNOW, FULL OF

YOURSELF, NOT SENSITIVE TO OTHER

PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

>> Frankenstein: YEAH, THAT'S

FINE WHEN I'M THAT WAY WITH YOU,

BUT NOT WITH ME.

WAIT!

>> Polidori: OH, DEAR.

THIS COULD GET STICKY.

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> SO NOW YOU JUST KNOW WHAT WE

ALL KNEW THE WHOLE TIME!

>> WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME

THAT HE WAS SUCH A SWEATY,

DESPERATE LOSER?

>> BUT...HE'S YOU.

>> YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

AT LEAST I HAVE A CERTAIN

JE NE SAIS QUOI.

THAT GUY -- PBHT! -- NOTHING.

>> Frankenstein: HEY!

THERE HE IS -- FRAHNKENSHTEEN.

>> OH, GOD.

>> Frankenstein: HEY, SO HOW'S

IT GOING?

>> HOW'S WHAT GOING?

>> Frankenstein: YOU KNOW, THE,

UH -- THE WHOLE EXPERIMENT.

>> NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

>> Frankenstein: OKAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

WRONG SIDE OF THE BED.

>> TRYING TO HAVE A DRINK HERE

WITH MY FRIENDS.

>> WHOA.

UM...

HI, FELLAS.

>> LOOK, OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE

MAKING PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE,

HOVERING LIKE THIS.

WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE WHAT

JEKYLL'S DOING?

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE A LOT TO

TALK ABOUT.

>> Frankenstein: [ SIGHS ]

>> WHAT A KNOB.

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

>> Frankenstein: [ GASPS ]

>> WHY ART THOU EATING IN

LONESOMENESS?

>> Frankenstein: BECAUSE IT'S

THE SADDEST THING I COULD THINK

TO DO.

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I

THOUGHT NOTHING IS MORE

HEARTBREAKING THAN SOMEONE

SITTING ALONE, CONSUMING.

SO MORTAL, SO...

PATHETIC.

>> I ALWAYS EAT ALONE.

I CAN'T BEAR --

>> Frankenstein: I'M GOING TO

BED.

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> [ MOANING ]

NO! I JUST CAN'T!

>> LOOK, I KNOW WHAT'S IN THE

WAY.

>> YES. IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.

>> BUT I'M NOT HIM.

>> WHO?

>> THE VICTOR YOU'VE BEEN WITH

FOR ALL THESE YEARS.

HOW YOU PUT UP WITH HIM I DON'T

KNOW.

HE JUST TRIES SO HARD.

>> YOU DO -- I-I MEAN, HE DOES?

>> YES! IT'S DISGUSTING!

HE'S SUCH A PEOPLE-PLEASING,

VULNERABLE OPEN BOOK.

>> HMM. I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.

>> Frankenstein: ELIZABETH, I --

WELL, WELL, WELL.

ISN'T THIS COZY?

>> VICTOR! COME TO BED!

I WANT TO EXPERIENCE THIS NEW

YOU I'VE BEEN HEARING SO MUCH

ABOUT.

>> Frankenstein: SHUSH!

>> HOW DARE YOU BARGE IN?!

>> Frankenstein: SORRY.

>> DON'T LET HIM PUSH YOU AROUND

LIKE THAT!

>> Frankenstein: HE'S NOT

PUSHING ME AROUND.

HE'S RIGHT.

>> YEAH! I'M RIGHT!

>> [ GROANS ] YUCK!

LOOK AT YOU TWO.

IT'S DISGUSTING.

>> ELIZABETH, DON'T INTERRUPT.

>> Frankenstein: YES!

WE'RE CONDUCTING AN EXPERIMENT

HERE.

>> ALL THIS EXPERIMENT IS

PROVING IS THAT YOU'RE BOTH

INCREDIBLY SELF-ABSORBED AND

INSECURE IN TWO TOTALLY

DIFFERENT, YET EQUALLY PATHETIC

WAYS!

>> Frankenstein: OH, YEAH?

>> YEAH. OH, YEAH?

IF YOU'RE SO PERFECT, THEN WHY

DON'T YOU TRY TRULY LOOKING AT

YOURSELF?

>> Frankenstein: YEAH!

YOU TRY IT!

>> FINE. I WILL.

>> THERE. YOUR BRAIN AND EYES.

>> Frankenstein: GO AHEAD.

>> YEAH.

FLIP THE SWITCH, SMARTY.

>> OH! CAN I DO THIS PART?

>> Both: IF BABY NEEDS HIS

BOTTLE.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

>> HELLO. ELIZABETH, DEAR.

>> [ Elizabeth's voice ] YES.

I'M HERE, DARLING.

OH, MY, YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

>> SO DO YOU, ACTUALLY.

>> WELL, WE HAVE SUCH CATCHING

UP TO DO.

>> YES. LET'S GET AWAY FROM

THESE MEN AND THEIR MACHINES.

>> OH, YES.

>> I KNOW THIS LOVELY LITTLE

COFFEE SHOP BY THE POND.

>> Frankenstein: NOW, HOW DID

SHE DO THAT?

>> YEAH! BOTH OF THEM!

HOW DO THEY JUST LIKE EACH OTHER

LIKE THAT?

>> WHO CARES?

ELIZABETH'S JUST A NORMAL,

HEALTHY PERSON.

NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS

SHOULD REALLY EXPERIENCE?

LOOKING AT YOURSELVES THROUGH

ME.

THAT WOULD NOT BE A

DISAPPOINTMENT, I ASSURE YOU,

BECAUSE I AM A HUGE FAN HERE --

HUGE FAN.

>> POLIDORI, YOU GOUGE OUT HIS

EYEBALLS.

VICTOR HERE WILL EXTRACT HIS

BRAIN.

>> Polidori: WITH PLEASURE.

>> [ LAUGHING ]

PINCH ME! I'M DREAMING!

OH, THAT TICK-- OW, OW, OW.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, THAT TICKLES -- OW, OW, OW.

YEAH, YEAH!

DREAM COME TRUE OVER H-- NO!

[ DRILL WHIRRING ]

[ SCREAMS ] I LOVE IT!

I OWE YOU GUYS. OH!

[ LAUGHS ]

OOH, IT'S LIKE "HELLRAISER."

AAH!

"YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE

LEGENDARY, EVEN IN HELL!"

HAVE YOU SEEN IT? GREAT MOVIE.

[ WHIMPERING ]

BEST NIGHT OF OUR LIVES!