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>> Both: * ...YOU
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>> Frankenstein: HMPH.
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>> NOW, THEN, BLOW OUT THE
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CANDLES.
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>> OH! OH!
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PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!
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>> BUT IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.
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>> Frankenstein: "CREATED BY A
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MAN DAY" PARTY.
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>> [ EXHALING SHARPLY ]
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>> [ CLAPS ]
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YAY!
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WHAT DID YOU WISH FOR?
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>> NO! DON'T ASK HIM THAT!
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>> I BESEECHED THE BIRTHDAY GODS
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TO GRANT ME THE ONLY THING I
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EVER WANTED, YET HAVE NEVER
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POSSESSED.
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>> Frankenstein: HERE WE GO!
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EVERY YEAR!
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>> MY ONLY WISH IS TO KNOW FROM
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WHENCE I CAME.
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FOR THEN, I WILL COME TO KNOW MY
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PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE.
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ALL I WANT IS...
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>> Both: AN IDENTITY.
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>> Frankenstein: IT'S NOT
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OFFICIALLY HIS BIRTHDAY UNTIL
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HE RUINS IT!
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>> YOU CANNOT FATHOM PAIN SUCH
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AS MINE.
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>> Frankenstein: LOOK, WE ALL
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WANT SOMETHING WE CAN'T HAVE.
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TAKE ME, FOR INSTANCE.
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I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MANAGE A
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BAND.
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>> YOU HAVE?
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>> Frankenstein: YEE, KIND OF.
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>> KIND OF?!
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I DON'T KIND OF WANT TO KNOW
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FROM WHENCE I CAME!
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>> YOU KNOW, WE CONSIDER
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OURSELVES YOUR FAMILY.
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>> YES, AND I VALUE THAT, BUT
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THOU ARE NOT OF MY BLOOD, MY
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GENETICS.
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>> Frankenstein: ALL RIGHT!
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YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU CAME
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FROM?!
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TORSO, LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG, LEFT
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ARM, MOST OF FACE, RIGHT ARM,
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REST OF FACE AND BRAIN.
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THERE! HAPPY?
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>> NO, FOR NOW I SEE THAT IT IS
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MY LOT TO HAVE BEEN ORPHANED BY
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SO MANY LOVED ONES.
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>> Frankenstein: LOVED ONES?
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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ARE YOU NUTS?
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THESE PEOPLE DID NOT EXACTLY
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VOLUNTEER THEIR PARTS, YOU KNOW.
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>> YOU MEAN, YOU MURDERED WHAT
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WAS LEFT OF MY FAMILY?!
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>> Frankenstein: YOU ARE REALLY
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SOMETHING.
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YES, I MURDERED SOME OF THEM --
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TO GIVE YOU LIFE FROM THE DEAD,
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NITWIT!
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>> THEN YOU CAN GIVE THEM THEIR
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LIVES BACK.
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BRING THEM TO LIFE SO THAT WE
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CAN REUNITE.
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>> Frankenstein: [ GRUNTING ]
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OKAY. I WILL MAKE YOU A DEAL.
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IF I BRING THEM BACK TO LIFE,
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DO YOU PROMISE TO SHUT UP --
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AND I MEAN A-SHUUUUUUUUUT UP --
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ABOUT YOUR IDENTITY CRISIS FOR
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ALL ETERNITY?
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>> OH, YES! YES! I DO PROMISE!
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[ CRUNCH! ]
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DEEP IN MY SOUL, I ALWAYS --
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>> Frankenstein: STARTING NOW!
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YGOR, START DIGGING!
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>> Ygor: [ Laughing ] YOU GOT
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IT!
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[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
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>> [ SCREECHES ]
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>> [ HOWLS ]
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>> * BEYOND SPACE AND TIME
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* STRANGER THAN THE SOUL
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* IS THE WORLD
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* DEEP INSIDE THE FRANKENHOLE
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>> AAH!
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>> * LEAVE ALL HOPE BEHIND
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* GIVE UP ALL CONTROL
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* TAKE MY HAND
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* WE'RE GOING DOWN THE
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FRANKENHOLE *
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>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
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>> VICTOR SAYS THE BODIES ARE
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PREPARED AND READY TO BE
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REVIVED.
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>> [ INHALES SHARPLY ]
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VERY NERVOUS HERE.
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>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO WHEN
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I'M NERVOUS?
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I GO...
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[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
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>> [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
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>> BETTER?
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>> NO.
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[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
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WHAT IF THEY REJECT ME?
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>> NOW, WHY WOULD ANYONE REJECT
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YOU?
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COME ON!
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>> Frankenstein: CREATURE, ALLOW
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ME TO SHOW YOU FROM WHENCE YOU
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CAME!
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I GIVE YOU...
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AN ODD COLLECTION OF STRANGERS!
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>> [ GASPS ]
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I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
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MY PARTS CAME FROM THIS HANDSOME
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ARRAY OF CORPSES?
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>> Frankenstein: YES.
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NOW, SINCE YOU ARE AN AMALGAM
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OF ALL OF THEM, THEY CAN ONLY
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BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE IF YOU
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ARE ALL WIRED TOGETHER.
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YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE THE BATTERY
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THAT WILL POWER THEM.
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ARE YOU READY?
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>> [ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]
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>> I AM READY.
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[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
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AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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AAAAAAH!
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>> Frankenstein: THEY'RE ALIVE.
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[ ALL MOANING ]
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ALI-I-I-I-I-I-VE!
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>> OH, SALUTATIONS.
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IT IS AN HONOR TO MEET ALL OF
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YOU.
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[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
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MY FAMILY.
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>> HMM.
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FUNNY -- YOU DON'T LOOK JEWISH.
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NONE OF YA.
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>> OH, MY LEFT LEG IS.
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>> YEAH, MY LEFT LEG USED TO BE.
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NOW, WHERE IS THE KAFAFTA THING?
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>> RIGHT HERE -- ON ME.
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>> WHAT?!
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>> UM, HI.
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MY NAME IS
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ELIZABETH FRANKENSTEIN, AND MY
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HUSBAND, VICTOR, HERE...
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>> Frankenstein: HI.
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>> ...CREATED THIS LIVING
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CREATURE OUT OF YOUR DEAD FLESH.
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>> WOW. THAT'S DEPRESSING.
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>> YEAH! I NEED MY PECS AND ABS.
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>> AND I'D LIKE THE REST OF MY
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FACE FOR A PTA MEETING.
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>> WHLAAAAH...
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CARPET NICKELS.
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>> I'M GETTING UNHOOKED FROM
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THIS GOLEM RIGHT NOW!
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[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
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[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
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>> NO!
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I'LL NEVER LET ANY OF YOU DIE!
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YOU'RE MY FAMILY.
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[ SOBBING ]
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>> WILL YOU DO SOMETHING?
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>> Frankenstein: WHAT?
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IT'S GOING FINE!
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THEY'RE A PERFECTLY NORMAL
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DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
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>> [ Sternly ] VICTOR.
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>> Frankenstein: OH, ALL RIGHT!
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EVERYONE, PLEASE!
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YES, YOU ARE ALL DIFFERENT.
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THAT'S TRUE.
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BUT THAT'S WHAT MAKES A FAMILY
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RICH WITH POSSIBILITIES.
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YOU MUST FIND A COMMON INTEREST.
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>> HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED
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TO DO THAT?
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>> Frankenstein: NOW, HERE I
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HAVE A BOOK OF EVERY POSSIBLE
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INTEREST KNOWN TO MANKIND.
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I'M GOING TO SIT HERE AND READ
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OFF THE LIST UNTIL YOU ALL AGREE
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ON ONE OF THEM.
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OKAY.
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"AARDVARK ANTICS."
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>> AH!
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OOH.
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>> Frankenstein: "AARDVARK
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BURGERS."
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>> AH! OOH.
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>> Frankenstein: OOH!
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"AARDVARK CINEMA."
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>> SKIP THE AARDVARKS!
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>> Frankenstein: ALL RIGHT, ALL
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RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
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"ABDOMINAL ATHLETICS."
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>> HMM?
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>> Frankenstein: "SINGAPOREAN
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XYLOPHONES."
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>> MM.
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>> Frankenstein: OOH, OOH!
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"SINGAPOREAN YARN."
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>> I CAN PROBABLY GET INTO THAT.
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>> OOH! ME TOO!
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>> Frankenstein: GREAT!
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ANYONE ELSE?
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>> MNH-MNH.
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>> Frankenstein: OH, COME ON!
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OPEN YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!
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NO ONE?
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FINE!
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"SINGAPOREAN ZOOS."
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>> MM...
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>> Frankenstein: "SINGING."
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>> OH!
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I USED TO BE IN A CHURCH CHOIR!
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THAT WAS FUN!
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* DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO
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>> Frankenstein: YES.
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YES, YES, YES! GOOD!
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>> AND I USED TO SING ALONG WITH
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FOUR SEASONS RECORDS.
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[ High-pitched ] * AHH AHH-AHH
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>> Frankenstein: OOH! FANTASTIC!
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>> I'M ACTUALLY, UH, PRETTY GOOD
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AT THE BARITONE VERSION OF THE
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"MAGIC FLUTE."
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>> Frankenstein: OH, MY GOD!
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THAT'S THREE OF YOU!
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>> * A-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
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HA *
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* HA-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
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HA *
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* HA-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
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HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA *
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>> * THE ROSES OF...
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>> * MLA-AHH...
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>> * AHHHH AHH-AHH
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>> * DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO
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>> Frankenstein: HA HA!
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AMAZING!
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>> YOU ALL CAME TOGETHER IN
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SPITE OF YOUR DIFFERENCES!
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>> Frankenstein: YES, AND
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THERE'S AN OPEN MIC DOWN AT THE
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PUB TOMORROW NIGHT.
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YOU SHOULD ALL DO IT AS A FAMILY
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ACT.
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>> THAT WOULD BE SO EXCITING!
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WHAT A FAMILY MEMORY THAT WOULD
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BE.
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OOH! I CAN PLAY MY BANJO!
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>> Frankenstein: AND I CAN
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FULFILL MY MILD DREAM OF
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MANAGING A BAND!
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>> HERE -- IN ORDER TO LOOK MORE
271
00:07:06,967 --> 00:07:08,427
LIKE A FAMILY, WEAR THESE WIGS.
272
00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:09,933
>> Frankenstein: GREAT THINKING!
273
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,203
PUT THEM ON SO I CAN GET A
274
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,330
PICTURE FOR THE FLIER!
275
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,673
>> I'M NOT WEARING THIS NAZI
276
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,027
WIG!
277
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:14,473
>> AWW.
278
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:15,667
>> Frankenstein: Don't worry.
279
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,497
I'll Photoshop it in.
280
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,230
NOW, SAY CHEESE!
281
00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:21,403
>> CHEESE!
282
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,230
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
283
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,403
>> [ German accent ] MEIN
284
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:23,870
FUHRER!
285
00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:25,297
LOOK AT THIS GROUP PERFORMING IN
286
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,600
SOMEWHERE IN EASTERN EUROPE.
287
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:27,270
>> [ GASPS ]
288
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:28,527
IT CAN'T BE!
289
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:31,103
AND YET THEY LOOK SO MUCH LIKE
290
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,600
THE VAN DER TROMPEL FAMILY!
291
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,070
COULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN AWAY
292
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,597
FROM THE GESTAPO AND CHANGED
293
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:36,770
THEIR NAME?!
294
00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:38,167
[ Sadly ] HOW I MISS THAT
295
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:38,727
FAMILY.
296
00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:40,373
I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HEAR
297
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:41,997
THEM IN CONCERT AGAIN BEFORE I
298
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,570
GOT RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR
299
00:07:43,567 --> 00:07:44,567
ALL.
300
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,397
I MUST ATTEND THAT OPEN MIC!
301
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,500
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
302
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,630
>> NOW, GET A GOOD NIGHT'S
303
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:50,033
SLEEP.
304
00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,373
>> Frankenstein: YES, TOMORROW'S
305
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:52,027
THE BIG SHOW.
306
00:07:52,033 --> 00:07:53,273
NOW, DON'T GET EXCITED, BUT I
307
00:07:53,267 --> 00:07:54,827
EVEN HEARD HITLER'S COMING
308
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:56,433
THROUGH A FRANKENHOLE TO BE
309
00:07:56,433 --> 00:07:58,473
THERE!
310
00:07:58,467 --> 00:08:00,927
>> I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I
311
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:03,233
AM TO FINALLY FIND A PLACE IN
312
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,633
THIS LIFE, A SENSE OF BELONGING
313
00:08:05,633 --> 00:08:06,933
SOMEWHERE.
314
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,673
SLEEP WELL.
315
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,627
I LOVE YOU ALL.
316
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,327
[ SNORING ]
317
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:15,803
>> He's asleep.
318
00:08:15,833 --> 00:08:18,703
>> Let's get him.
319
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:19,400
[ GUN COCKS ]
320
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,730
>> MOVE AWAY FROM HIM AND DROP
321
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:21,903
THOSE KNIVES.
322
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,700
>> ARE YOU FREAKIN' CRAZY?
323
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,630
I NEED MY PECS AND ABS BACK.
324
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:27,733
>> NO! NOT UNTIL I KILL HITLER.
325
00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:29,533
YOU'RE ALL PLAYING THAT SHOW.
326
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:30,803
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
327
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,270
>> WELL, PARDNERS -- NYUK
328
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,767
NYUK -- FOR MY LAST BIT OF
329
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,467
DOWN-HOME POLITICAL HUMOR, I'D
330
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:36,727
LIKE TO SAY THAT, UH,
331
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,233
POLITICIANS -- NYUK NYUK --
332
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:39,933
SHOULD TAKE A CUE FROM MUMMIES
333
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,673
AND WRAP THINGS UP.
334
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:42,667
NYUK NYUK!
335
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:43,397
THANKS, PARDNERS!
336
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,400
YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT CROWD!
337
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,030
[ AUDIENCE CHANTING "WE WANT THE
338
00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:47,473
IT'S-ALIVE-INGSTONS" ]
339
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:49,427
>> ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, BRAHS
340
00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:51,433
AND BRAHSEEMAS, UP NEXT, WE ARE
341
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:52,833
PROUD TO PRESENT THE
342
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,703
IT'S-ALIVE-INGSTON FAMILY OF
343
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,100
SONG!
344
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,170
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
345
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,467
>> OOH, I HOPE THEY'RE STILL
346
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:57,967
GOOD!
347
00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,427
[ High-pitched ] ME TOO!
348
00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:01,733
>> OH, YOU LIKE EVERYTHING.
349
00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:03,203
[ BANJO PLAYS ]
350
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,130
[ ALL INHALE SHARPLY ]
351
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:05,433
>> ALL RIGHT, HITLER, PREPARE TO
352
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:06,073
GET NAKIFTAD!
353
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:06,427
>> NO!
354
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:07,973
>> MEIN FUHRER! GET DOWN!
355
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,327
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
356
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,803
YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG!
357
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,930
>> NOW!
358
00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:13,733
GIVE US OUR PARTS BACK!
359
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,273
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
360
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:17,927
[ "MAGIC FLUTE" PLAYS ]
361
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:28,903
>> AAH!
362
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,230
>> [ WHIMPERING ]
363
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:33,773
>> WELL, THAT WAS A BUST.
364
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:34,227
AAH!
365
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:35,503
>> THAT'S FOR LITTLE
366
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,730
ANNIE FRANK.
367
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:38,073
HEY, THAT WAS FUN.
368
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,397
>> OKAY, UP NEXT -- NOSFERATU
369
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,570
AND RUSTY BOY!
370
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,030
[ LAUGHTER ]
371
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:53,403
>> SUCCESS HAS DESTROYED MY
372
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:53,900
FAMILY.
373
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,300
>> Frankenstein: OH, WHO CARES
374
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,570
ABOUT YOUR STUPID FAMILY?!
375
00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:57,897
THE CAREER I KINDA WANTED IS
376
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:58,470
FINISHED!
377
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,967
[ WHIMPERS ]
378
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,667
>> WELL, YOU ALWAYS HAVE US AS
379
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,967
YOUR FAMILY, YOU KNOW.
380
00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:03,697
>> I KNOW.
381
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,330
>> I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THAT
382
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,673
WE'RE NOT ACTUAL BLOOD
383
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:07,767
RELATIVES, THOUGH.
384
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:08,827
>> NO.
385
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:11,103
THIS EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME
386
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,600
THAT [SNIFFLES] FAMILIES --
387
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,870
REAL FAMILIES ARE PERHAPS THE
388
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:20,127
WORST THING IN THE WORLD EVER.
389
00:10:20,133 --> 00:10:21,633
>> THAT'S MY BOY!
390
00:10:21,633 --> 00:10:23,173
[ ALL "AWW" ]
391
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:24,597
>> MOMMY.
392
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,870
>> Frankenstein: OH, WOULD YOU
393
00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:28,967
TWO SHUUUUUUUUT UP?!
394
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:29,527
[ LAUGHTER ]
395
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,403
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
396
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,830
[ GLASS CLINKS ]
397
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:32,933
>> OKAY, LADIES AND
398
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,433
GENTLE-BRAHS, PUT YOUR HANDS
399
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,873
TOGETHER FOR IMPRESSIONIST
400
00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,397
EXTRAORDINAIRE COUNT CHOCOLATEY!
401
00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:39,733
>> THANK YOU!
402
00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:42,033
YOU KNOW I ALWAYS WONDERED, WHAT
403
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,003
IF FAMOUS ACTOR BELA LUGOSI
404
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,270
PLAYED COUNT DRACULA IN A MOVIE?
405
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,367
I THINK IT WOULD GO SOMETHING
406
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:49,397
LIKE THIS.
407
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,500
[ Normal voice ] GOOD EVENING.
408
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,900
I'M COUNT DRACULA IN A MOVIE!
409
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,070
[ LAUGHTER ]
410
00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:56,127
THANK YOU.
411
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:58,573
AND NOW, FOR MY NEXT IMPRESSION,
412
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,527
WHAT IF I PLAYED COUNT DRACULA
413
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:01,703
IN A MOVIE?
25114
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