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[ BAT SQUEAKING ]
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[ WOLF HOWLS ]
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[ THUD! ]
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[ SQUEAK! ]
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>> MR. VICTOR, THE POOR, THEY
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NEED SO MUCH MY HELP BACK IN
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CALCUTTA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A...
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>> Frankenstein: [ SIGHS ]
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...A-A-A-A-AAH!
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DON'T GIVE ME THOSE PUPPY-DOG
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EYESIES!
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>> [ SCOFFS ]
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BREAKFAST FOR DINNER AGAIN?
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WHY MUST YOU BEGIN WORK AT
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MIDNIGHT?
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>> Frankenstein: BECAUSE IT IS
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SPOOKY, THAT'S WHY!
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IT LENDS CREDIBILITY TO MY MAD
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EXPERIMENTS.
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>> [ SCOFFS ]
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>> Both: GOOD EVENING, MOTHER.
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GOOD MORNING, FATHER.
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>> GOOD EVENING.
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>> Frankenstein: GOOD MORNING.
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>> LOOK, MOTHER!
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[ Singsong voice ] I LOST
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ANOTHER TOOTH!
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>> OH, HOW SWEET.
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PUT IT UNDER YOUR PILLOW FOR THE
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TOOTH FAIRY.
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>> YAY!
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[ COUGHS ]
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>> Frankenstein: ARE YOU ALL
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NUTS?
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YOU'RE HAVING HIM PUT HIS DEAD
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TOOTH UNDER A NICE, SOFT PILLOW?
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>> WE ARE CELEBRATING THE CHANGE
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IN HEINRICH'S BODY.
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>> Frankenstein: HEINRICH, YOU
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KNOW THAT THAT'S YOUR LAST
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TOP-LEFT BICUSPID, RIGHT?
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YOU DON'T GET A NEW ONE.
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>> I KNOW.
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>> ME TOO.
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>> Frankenstein: AND THERE IS NO
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SUCH THING AS A TOOTH FAIRY.
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NEXT THING YOU'LL TELL ME IS
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THAT SANTY CLAUS BRINGS DRACULA
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A HUGE BUNDLE OF BABY THROATS
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EVERY CHRISTMAS.
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>> OOH. SPEAK OF THE DEVIL-CULA.
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>> OH! HELLO!
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I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, COUNT!
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>> Frankenstein: WHAT DOES THE
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PRINCE OF HORNY WANT WITH YOU
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NOW?
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>> HE'S TAKING ME TO THE OPERA,
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AS IF YOU CARE.
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>> Frankenstein: I'M GOING TO
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THE LAB.
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>> WHO ARE YOU HELPING...
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>> THAT'S NOT US?
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>> Frankenstein: SOMEONE WHO
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ACTUALLY DESERVES MY HELP.
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[ Enunciating ] ADOLF...HITLER?
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[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
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>> [ HOWLS ]
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>> * BEYOND SPACE AND TIME
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* STRANGER THAN THE SOUL
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* IS THE WORLD
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* DEEP INSIDE THE FRANKENHOLE
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[ BOTH SCREAM ]
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>> AAH!
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>> * LEAVE ALL HOPE BEHIND
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* GIVE UP ALL CONTROL
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* TAKE MY HAND
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* WE'RE GOING DOWN THE
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FRANKENHOLE *
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>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
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>> Frankenstein: WELL, THANK YOU
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FOR COMING ALL THE WAY FROM YOUR
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OWN TIME AND SPACE.
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>> [ German accent ] MOSTLY
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TIME, REALLY.
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IT'S NO PROBLEM.
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KIND OF FUN, ACTUALLY.
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>> Frankenstein: YES, WELL, UH,
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WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU?
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>> [ SIGHS ]
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I...
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[ Sadly ] I HATE THE JEWS.
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>> Polidori: HISTORICALLY,
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YOU A IN GOOD COMPANY.
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>> YEAH, BUT I'M JUST SICK OF
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IT.
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IT'S CONTROLLING MY WHOLE LIFE!
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HERR FRANKENSTEIN...
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I WANT TO QUIT HATING THE JEWS.
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>> Frankenstein: THEN WHY DON'T
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YOU JUST START LIKING THEM?
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>> I CAN'T!
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I WANT TO, BUT MY HANDS ARE
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TIED!
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I HATE THEM!
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>> Polidori: HAVE YOU TRIED NOT
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HATING THEM?
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>> WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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I'M STUPID? YEAH, I TRIED!
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LOOK. [ GRUNTS ]
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THERE! TRIED AGAIN!
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STILL HATE 'EM. SATISFIED?
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>> Frankenstein: WELL, IF I WERE
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YOU, MR. HITLER --
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>> YO WOULD DO EXACTLY AS I
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DO...
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IF YOU WERE ME.
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[ SIGHS ]
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YOU THINK I WANT TO BE LIKE
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THIS?
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YOU THINK I PICKED THE SHAPE OF
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THIS DUMB BRAIN OF MINE?
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DID I CHOOSE THE ENVIRONMENT I
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GREW UP IN DURING MY FORMATIVE
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YEARS?
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AND WAS I MY OWN PARENTS WHO
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RAISED MYSELF IN A COLD,
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EMOTIONLESS GERMANIC CHILDHOOD?
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NO!
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DESPISING AND FEARING JEWS IS
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MORE THAN JUST A FUN PASTIME FOR
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ME.
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IT IS A CONTROLLING HANDICAP
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THAT GETS IN THE WAY OF ME BEING
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WHO I REALLY AM...
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A TOLERATOR OF JEWS.
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>> Frankenstein: I'M SURE WE CAN
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HELP YOU.
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>> OH, HERR FRANKENSTEIN,
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HERR POLIDORI, IF YOU CAN RID ME
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OF THIS BURDENSOME CHARACTER
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FLAW, I WOULD GIVE YOU
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ANYTHING.
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EVEN THE GIFT OF ME NOT HAVING
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YOU EXECUTED BY THE GESTAPO.
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I KNOW PEOPLE.
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>> Frankenstein: GIVE US AN
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AFTERNOON TO RESEARCH THIS
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DILEMMA.
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THERE'S A QUAINT LITTLE PUB IN
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THE VILLAGE WHERE YOU CAN OCCUPY
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YOURSELF.
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MY CREATION WILL SHOW YOU THERE.
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HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC.
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>> WHAT UNRECIPROCATED FAVOR MAY
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I CARRY OUT IN YOUR HONOR TODAY,
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MASTER GENIUS?
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>> FUNNY.
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I ALWAYS -- I ALWAYS PICTURED
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YOU AS BEING GREEN.
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>> [ SIGHS ]
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SHALL WE NOT TARRY?
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>> Frankenstein: WELL, I'LL NEED
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A SMOKE BEFORE WE START.
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>> Polidori: YES, AND I COULD
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USE A SWIFT WANKING.
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[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
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>> OH, HELLO, HERR WORKY-JOB.
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TAKING A BREAK FROM YOUR
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JOBBY-WORK?
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>> [ LAUGHS ]
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NICE ONE.
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>> DON'T!
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>> Frankenstein: YOU KEEP
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TRYING, EH, COUNT?
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>> I THINK THOSE HOLES MEAN
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MORE THAN TRYING.
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I THINK I DID IT.
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I PUT MY TEETH IN THERE.
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>> Frankenstein: YES, BUT YOU'LL
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NEVER MAKE HER A VAMPIRE.
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IT GETS YOUR GOAT, DOESN'T IT?
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>> I ASSURE YOU, MY GOAT IS
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QUITE SAFE.
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SINCE ELIZABETH HERE ALREADY
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IMMORTAL, WHAT I CARE SHE GOT
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FANGS, SHE CAN FLAP AROUND LIKE
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FLAPPY BAT?
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I DON'T CARE.
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SHE DOES WHATEVER I WANT.
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>> Frankenstein: YOU MEAN, YOU
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DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
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>> NO, I DO WHAT I WANT, AND SHE
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DOES --
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SHE...DO WHAT I WANT.
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>> Frankenstein: SHE DOES NOT.
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>> OH-HO, YES, SHE DOES.
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>> Frankenstein: NO WAY.
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>> HELLO! I'M RIGHT HERE!
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>> Frankenstein: NO WAY!
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>> YE WAY.
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BUT THIS IS CHILDISH!
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WALKING AWAY DOESN'T MAKE YOU
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RIGHT!
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[ HISSES ]
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[ CHITTERING ]
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>> AAH!
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MEN.
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>> ALTHOUGH I AM INDESTRUCTIBLE,
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A SENSE OF DREAD CONSTANTLY
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PERVADES MY CONSCIOUSNESS -- AN
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ENNUI THAT SENDS ME INTO FITS
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OF TREMBLING UNREST THAT I CAN
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FIND NO SOLACE FROM.
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>> YOU'RE A JEW, AREN'T YOU?
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>> MY ONLY HERITAGE...
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[ SNIFFLES ]
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...IS DEATH.
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DEATH IS MY LEGACY.
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DEATH, MY BIRTHRIGHT.
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DEATH...
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MY INHERITANCE.
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>> YES. DEFINITELY A JEW.
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>> SOMEWHAT.
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MY LEFT LEG WAS CHOSEN FROM THE
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CHOSEN.
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>> ANOTHER DRINK?
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>> TIDINGS.
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>> THINK NOTHING OF IT.
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I AM MADE OF MONEY.
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I CONTROL MANY OF YOUR LEG'S
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PEOPLE'S BANKS.
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>> ONCE, I CONTROLLED HIM.
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MY PRESENCE FILLED FRANKENSTEIN
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WITH CHILLS!
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>> CONTROL IS OVERRATED.
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IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY.
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IT DOESN'T KEEP ME FROM BEING
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FRIGHTENED.
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>> OF WHAT ART THOU FRIGHTENED?
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>> BEING CALLED A MONSTER.
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>> AAH! I HATE THAT WORD!
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>> [ Voice breaking ] IT
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PROBABLY APPLIES TO ME, THOUGH.
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>> IF YOU'RE SO AWARE OF THINE
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OWN HEART, WHY STRUGGLE AGAINST
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ITS LEANINGS?
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>> I'M NOT ALWAYS THIS AWARE.
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I HAD A DREAM.
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[ BABY CRIES ]
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[ MAN SCREAMS ]
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FREUD!
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I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I
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HAD YOU IN MY CLUTCHES!
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>> ZOUNDS.
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>> I'M SORRY! SORRY!
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I'M VERY INSECURE.
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>> YOU HAVE NO NEED TO BE.
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>> REALLY?
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OH, YOU'RE NICE, PALLY.
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>> PALLY?
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>> L-LET'S DO SOME SHOTS.
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[ Giggling ] I FEEL ALL TINGLY!
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>> I'M YOUR PALLY?
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>> OOH-HOO!
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I THINK I'M GETTING SPAGHETTI
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LEGS.
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SO, HOW'S THE LITTLE
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BRAINY-HEADS DOING?
269
00:07:03,167 --> 00:07:04,597
>> Frankenstein: GREAT.
270
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,930
THE ANSWER'S VERY SIMPLE.
271
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:08,833
SEE HERE -- NOT ENOUGH BLOOD IS
272
00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:10,703
ENTERING THE TOLERANCE PART OF
273
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:11,570
YOUR BRAIN.
274
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,367
SO ALL WE NEED TO DO RE-ROUTE
275
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,897
THIS ARTERY AND IT SHOULD SEND
276
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,500
OXYGEN TO THAT PART OF THE LOBE,
277
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,970
FEEDING THE AREA THAT'S BEEN
278
00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:18,697
SUFFOCATING.
279
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,330
>> AND THIS WILL STOP ME FROM
280
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:21,373
HATING THE JEWS?
281
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:22,827
>> Frankenstein: OH, YES.
282
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,473
YOU'LL BE NOT-HATING THE CRAP
283
00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:25,167
OUT OF THOSE JEWS.
284
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:26,197
>> Polidori: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
285
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,230
>> Frankenstein: UM, BUT THERE
286
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:29,603
MAY BE ONE POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT.
287
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,730
>> WHAT, LIKE DIARRHEA?
288
00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:31,403
THAT'S FINE.
289
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,430
I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
290
00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,773
>> Polidori: IT'S...A LITTLE
291
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:34,997
DIFFERENT THAN DIARRHEA.
292
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,530
>> Frankenstein: I'M AFRAID SO,
293
00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:37,203
MR. HITLER.
294
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,370
THIS PROCESS MAY LEAVE YOU...
295
00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,367
LOVING THE JEWS.
296
00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:43,997
>> L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LOVING?
297
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,270
NOT JUST TOL-L-L-ERATING?
298
00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:47,527
>> Frankenstein: THAT'S RIGHT.
299
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,973
>> LIKE, "GOING OUT OF MY WAY"
300
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:49,467
LOVING?
301
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:50,567
>> Frankenstein: YEP.
302
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,097
>> [ Singsong voice ] WELL, THAT
303
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,370
IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN
304
00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:55,067
DIARRHEA.
305
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,367
OKAY. I'LL RISK IT.
306
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,297
>> Frankenstein: ADOLF HITLER,
307
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:59,530
GET ON THAT SLAB!
308
00:07:59,533 --> 00:08:01,633
[ THUNDER CRASHING ]
309
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,830
>> HEY, SO, THE JEWS...
310
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,873
NOT SO BAD!
311
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,067
>> Both: HUZZAH!
312
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:16,027
>> VICTOR CLAIMS THAT TO BE
313
00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:18,503
TRULY IMMORTAL, ONE MUST AFFECT
314
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,800
MANKIND IN SOME POSITIVE WAY.
315
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,070
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW IF BEING
316
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,527
POSITIVE IS ALL THAT MANDATORY.
317
00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:24,473
IS YOUR LEG OKAY?
318
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:25,627
HAS IT GOT ENOUGH ROOM?
319
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:27,003
>> YES. SUFFICIENT.
320
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,770
ALAS! I FALL --
321
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,097
>> ARE YOU SURE THERE'S ENOUGH
322
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,170
ROOM FOR THE LEG?
323
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:32,767
IT SEEMS A BIT SQUASHED OVER
324
00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:33,297
THERE.
325
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,000
>> NO. WORRY NOT. I-IT'S FINE.
326
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:35,770
AND EVEN --
327
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:37,897
>> SO, HOW IS YOUR LEFT LEG
328
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,270
IN GENERAL?
329
00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:40,867
>> WHAT? OH, IT STILL --
330
00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:42,197
>> COME ON. LIFT UP YOUR PANT.
331
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,430
LET'S SEE THE LITTLE FELLA.
332
00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:45,133
>> NO. IT SHAMES ME.
333
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:46,473
>> SHAMES? WHY?
334
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:48,227
YOU'RE THE UGLY ONE.
335
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:50,303
COME! UP WITH IT!
336
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,870
OH! LOOK AT HIM! HE'S ADORABLE!
337
00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:55,067
HI, YOU! YOU WANT A DRINK?
338
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,267
SURE YOU DO!
339
00:08:56,267 --> 00:08:57,627
A WINE FOR MY SEMITIC LITTLE
340
00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:59,073
FRIEND HERE -- SOMETHING THAT
341
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,427
FOLLOWS THE ANCIENT HEBREW
342
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:01,833
LAWS, YOU SWINE!
343
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:02,703
L'CHAIM!
344
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:05,000
AH, I LOVE DRINKING DURING THE
345
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:05,700
DAY, DON'T YOU?
346
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,670
>> WHAT ELSE IS THERE?
347
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:07,727
>> [ Singsong voice ] NOT
348
00:09:07,733 --> 00:09:08,433
TALKING TO YOU.
349
00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,273
>> YES, OF COURSE.
350
00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:10,367
>> ARE YOU GETTING TIRED?
351
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:11,667
>> I' GETTING A BIT FATIGUED.
352
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:12,527
>> WHO ASKED YOU?!
353
00:09:12,533 --> 00:09:13,203
>> I JUST AM.
354
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,430
>> WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU
355
00:09:14,433 --> 00:09:15,033
JUST LEAVE?
356
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:16,273
QUITE FRANKLY, YOU'RE NOTHING
357
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:17,427
BUT A BIG, WORTHLESS THIRD
358
00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,403
WHEEL.
359
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,600
>> THERE!
360
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,700
DON'T LET ME SPOIL THY FUN!
361
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,903
>> [ GURGLING ]
362
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,430
AAAAAAH!
363
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:33,573
LET'S KIBITZ!
364
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:34,467
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ]
365
00:09:34,467 --> 00:09:38,527
>> * OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH
366
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:41,803
* LITTLE DAISIES
367
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,600
* OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH
368
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,430
>> YOU'RE IT.
369
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:47,433
>> NO, YOU'RE IT.
370
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:48,373
>> OH, DAMN IT!
371
00:09:48,367 --> 00:09:49,927
OKAY, OKAY. I GIVE. I GIVE.
372
00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:50,833
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
373
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,403
NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
374
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,570
>> LET'S PLAY "TRUTH OR DARE."
375
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:55,527
YOU FIRST.
376
00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:56,873
>> UM...
377
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:57,467
DARE.
378
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:58,527
NO, NO! TRUTH, TRUTH!
379
00:09:58,533 --> 00:09:59,503
NO, NO! DARE, DARE!
380
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:00,100
NO, TRUTH!
381
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:00,900
DARE. DARE.
382
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,700
NO, NO, NO!
383
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:03,270
TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH.
384
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:03,897
>> OKAY.
385
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,600
WHAT'S THE WORST THING YOU'VE
386
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,030
EVER PLANNED ON DOING?
387
00:10:08,033 --> 00:10:09,733
>> WELL...
388
00:10:09,733 --> 00:10:10,433
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
389
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,033
LOOK, CAN'T YOU JUST FORGET
390
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:13,073
ABOUT ALL THAT?
391
00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:14,197
>> FORGET? NEVER!
392
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,600
I HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE
393
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,500
SOMEWHERE!
394
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,200
>> THAT WAS THE OLD ME!
395
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,630
IT WAS JUST A PLAN!
396
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:21,533
>> I REJECT YOU -- YOU AND THAT
397
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,773
FAKAKTA MUSTACHE!
398
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:24,397
>> CHAPLIN HAD THIS FIRST!
399
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,070
OOH, HIS LITTLE TRAMP...
400
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,967
>> YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!
401
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:31,667
>> AAAAAAAH!
402
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,830
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
403
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:39,433
ICH BIN EIN BERLINER!
404
00:10:39,433 --> 00:10:40,703
>> UH, WHAT DID HE SAY?
405
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,170
>> Polidori: I THINK HE SAID
406
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:43,567
HE'S A DOUGHNUT.
407
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:46,167
>> Frankenstein: HE SURE IS!
408
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,427
>> NO, YOU ARE DOUGHNUT,
409
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:50,803
FRANKENSTEIN, FOR I HAVE DATE TO
410
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,770
TAKE YOUR WIFE ON ROMANTIC
411
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,627
HAYRIDE SOMETIME IN NEXT FEW
412
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,673
WEEKS, WHEN HAYRIDE PEOPLE HAVE
413
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:57,967
AN OPENING FOR US.
414
00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,497
YOU DOUGHNUT!
415
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,000
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
416
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,970
[ CHITTERING ]
417
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:08,727
>> * LOOK AT YOU, STUCK IN THE
418
00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:09,203
EARTH *
419
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:16,600
* IT'S NO WAY TO SPEND THE DAY
420
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,470
* YOU TRIED SO HARD, YOU
421
00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:19,797
HAVEN'T HEARD *
422
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,830
* THERE'S NO WAY OUT OF THE
423
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:25,473
EARTH *
424
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,397
>> [ High-pitched ] YOU
425
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,370
DOUGHNUT!
25845
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