Original subtitles

[ THUNDER CRASHES ]

[ OWL HOOTS ]

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]

>> Frankenstein: HE'S ALIVE.

ALIVE!

AGAIN!

>> WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>> Frankenstein: YOU ARE

MICHAEL JACKSON, ALIVE AGAIN!

>> INTERESTING PLACE.

[ GIGGLES ] OH. WHAT'S THAT?

>> Polidori: IT'S A

WEREWOLF-SKIN RUG.

IT'S SO THREADBARE.

SIMPLY AN EYESORE.

[ SPARKLE! ]

>> OH, MY! [ GIGGLES ]

INTERESTING!

I LOVE INTERESTING THINGS!

>> UH, SPEAKING OF

INTERESTING...

DAD! IT'S ME, BRA! BLANKET!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M THE ONE WHO DID THIS

KICK-ASS THING FOR YOU, BRA!

YEAH, BABY!

>> WHAT?

>> Frankenstein: YOU SEE, YOUR

SON BROUGHT YOUR CRYOGENICALLY

FROZEN BODY HERE TO MY SPOOKY

LABORATORY TO REVIVE YOU SOME 30

YEARS AFTER YOUR DEATH.

>> HIGH FIVE!

>> Frankenstein: DR. POLIDORI

AND I WILL LEAVE YOU TWO TO

CATCH UP.

>> DON'T LEAVE ME HANGIN', BRA!

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ FERRET CHITTERS ]

>> Frankenstein: AH, IT'S NICE

TO REUNITE FAMILY, ISN'T IT,

POLIDORI?

>> Polidori: DARE I SENSE SOME

ICKY SENSITIVITY?

>> Frankenstein: WELL, MY FATHER

AND I HAVE SOME UNSPOKEN ISSUES.

>> Polidori: HE'S RIGHT HERE.

LET'S GO SAY "HOWDY."

>> Frankenstein: UH...ALL RIGHT.

HOW'S MY HAIR?

>> Polidori: [ SCOFFS ]

YOU LOOK GREAT.

>> YEAH, SO I'M, LIKE, ROCKING

THE STOCK MARKET 24/7, DUDE, 5

DAYS A WEEK.

THEN ITS T.G.I.F., BRO.

ON STEROIDS. [ CHUCKLES ]

LONG ISLAND ICED TEAS -- HERE I

COME, DUDE!

HEY, BUT THAT'S ME, DUDE, YOU

KNOW?

OFF THE HOOK 24/7. CHECK IT.

I'VE GOT PIERCINGS.

I GOT A NECK TAT.

LOOK AT MY NECK TAT.

OH, AND NOT JUST ONE FERRET.

I GOT A SECOND FERRET AT HOME

WITH A NECK TAT!

I'M, LIKE, KIND OF A QUIRKY

DUDE, YOU KNOW?

I'M THE SON OF MICHAEL.

STRANGELY WEIRD, YOU KNOW?

BUT -- BUT IT'S GOOD.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

IT'S GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD.

>> Jackson: [ Yawning ] UH-HUH.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING,

BRO?

PEOPLE GOT TO DEAL, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, "WHAT'S THIS GUY --

WHAT'S THIS GUY THINKIN'?"

YOU KNOW, "WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH

THIS DUDE?"

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M THINKING, "T.G.I.F., BRA!"

LONG ISLAND ICED TEAS!

[ LAUGHS ] ON STEROIDS.

DEAL WITH -- DEAL WITH THAT.

DEAL WITH THAT.

>> Frankenstein: AND THAT!

[ POUNDING ]

AND THAT!

AND...THIS!

>> Polidori: NO, VICTOR! DON'T!

I MEAN, HE CAN'T EVEN FEEL IT.

OOH, LET'S BRING HIM TO LIFE

FIRST!

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> Frankenstein: I CAN'T,

POLIDORI.

>> Polidori: REALLY?

>> YES, I TOTALLY HAVE FETISHES,

DUDE!

LIKE, OKAY, FOR ONE, I'M TOTALLY

INTO THE LADIES, BRO!

KIND OF WEIRD, I KNOW, BUT, HEY,

MAN, DEAL WITH IT.

>> UH-HUH.

>> JUST LAY THEM DOWN ON THEIR

BACKS AND HAVE MUCHO SLOPPY

MISSIONARY WITH THEM, MAN.

I KNOW. THAT'S ME, DUDE.

I AM MESSED UP!

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I TRIED TO DO EVERYTHING WRONG.

I DRAPED A BLANKET OVER YOUR

FACE, AND I HUNG YOU FROM A

BALCONY.

I EVEN CALLED YOU

PRINCE MICHAEL JACKSON II.

AFTER YOUR BROTHER!

AND YOU STILL CAME OUT...

NORMAL.

[ FERRET CHITTERS ]

>> Frankenstein: EVEN BEYOND THE

BLACK CURTAIN, HE HAD TO HAVE

THE LAST WORD!

YOU SEE, MY FATHER'S DYING

ORDER, UPON HIS VERY DEATH BED,

WAS THAT I SHOULD NEVER BRING

HIM BACK TO LIFE.

BLASTED COFFIN JOCKEY.

>> Polidori: [ CLICKS TONGUE ]

>> Frankenstein: WELL, LET'S GO

SEE HOW THE OTHER REUNION IS

GOING.

GAAH!

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

>> NOTHIN', BRA.

HE -- HE JUST DROPPED.

>> Frankenstein: PROFESSOR,

WHAT WAS THE CAUSE OF DEATH?

>> Polidori: SUDDEN, VIOLENT

BOREDOM.

>> MY BAD.

>> [ SCREECHES ]

>> [ HOWLS ]

>> * BEYOND SPACE AND TIME

* STRANGER THAN THE SOUL

* IS THE WORLD DEEP INSIDE THE

FRANKENHOLE *

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

>> [ SCREAMS ]

>> * LEAVE ALL HOPE BEHIND

* THEY HAVE ALL CONTROL

* TAKE MY HAND

* WE'RE GOING DOWN THE

FRANKENHOLE *

>> [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

>> OKAY. GET THIS.

WHAT DID MY DAD ALWAYS WANT, BUT

COULD NEVER GET HIS MITTS ON?

>> Polidori: OOH!

I KNOW THE ANSWER!

PICK ME, PLEASE, SIR!

PLEASE, PLEASE! PICK ME!

>> YEAH, YOU. WHAT?

>> Polidori: DON'T CARE.

>> [ IMITATES BUZZER ] WRONG.

THE ELEPHANT MAN'S BONES!

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT I GOT 'EM, BRAHEIM!

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS MIX MY

DAD'S BODY WITH THESE BAD BOYS,

AND HE'LL LOVE ME BECAUSE I'LL

BE REALLY INTERESTING BY DOING

THIS TOTALLY INTERESTING THING

TO HIM!

I'LL BE DA MAN!

>> Frankenstein: ALL RIGHT.

GIVE ME THE BONES.

>> Frankenstein: YGOR!

>> Ygor: YES, MASTER?

>> Frankenstein: PUT

MICHAEL JACKSON'S BODY AND THESE

BONES INTO THE DNA MERGER AND

SET IT ON SIX.

THEN PRESS START, WAIT 30

SECONDS, AND HE'LL BE DONE.

>> Ygor: [ Laughing ] YOU GOT

IT!

>> Frankenstein: SORRY ABOUT THE

WAIT.

MAYBE WE CAN USE THIS TIME AND

HAVE A LITTLE TALK.

>> I LOVE GABBING, BRO.

>> Polidori: OH, DEAR.

THIS IS MY CUE TO LEAVE.

NICE TO MEET "CHA."

>> Frankenstein: BLANKET, I

DON'T KNOW IF MAKING YOUR FATHER

EVEN WEIRDER IS ENOUGH TO MAKE

HIM LOVE YOU.

YOU MAY NEED TO CHANGE YOURSELF,

YOUR PERSONALITY.

>> OH, RIGHT. LIKE A PET SNAKE

WITH A NECK TAT.

>> Frankenstein: IT'S SOMETHING

I NEVER DID WITH MY FATHER, AND

I REGRET IT TO THIS DAY.

>> YOU DO?

>> Frankenstein: YEAH --

>> Ygor: IT'S READY!

>> RAD!

>> Frankenstein: WAIT!

I WASN'T DONE TALKING...

[ WHIMPERS ]

[ THUNDER AND LIGHTNING CRASH ]

NO! DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

>> [ GIGGLES ] KIND OF TOO LATE.

[ GIGGLES ]

>> Frankenstein: HMM.

CURIOUS LITTLE BUGGER, AREN'T

YOU?

>> UH-HUH. HEY.

WHO'S THAT INTERESTING GUY IN

THE MIRROR?

>> THAT'S YOU, BRA!

SEE, I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE --

>> Frankenstein: I'LL HANDLE

THIS.

>> OOPS. MY BAD.

>> Frankenstein: YOU SEE, I

SCIENTIFICALLY FUSED POP IDOL

MICHAEL JACKSON AND HIDEOUS

FREAK JOHN MERRICK TO MAKE

WHATEVER YOU ARE.

>> YOU DID THIS?

>> Frankenstein: ALL BY MY

LONESOME!

>> [ GIGGLES ]

>> BUT --

>> INTERESTING!

>> REMEMBER ME?

I TOTALLY COUGHED UP THE DINERO

FOR THE BONES, DUDE.

>> I REMEMBER YOU FROM ONE OF MY

PAST MEMORIES.

YUCK!

I BET YOU COULD WIPE THAT MEMORY

AWAY, CAN'T YOU?

>> Frankenstein: LICKITY-SPLIT!

>> WOW! YOU'RE GREAT!

[ GIGGLES ]

>> HASTA LA VISTA.

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

>> Frankenstein: ECH!

WHAT A CHILD!

>> EW. I HATE CHILDREN.

>> Frankenstein: BUT I THOUGHT

THE MICHAEL JACKSON PART OF YOU

WAS INFAMOUS FOR ENJOYING THE

COMPANY OF THE AWKWARDLY

YOUTHFUL.

>> WELL, THAT PART OF ME USED TO

LIKE HOW WEIRD AND INTERESTING

IT MADE ME SEEM TO HANG OUT WITH

LITTLE KIDS.

BUT ON THEIR OWN, THEY'RE

BORING.

>> Frankenstein: WELL, THAT'S

QUITE IRONIC BECAUSE EVER SINCE

I WAS A LITTLE BOY, MY FATHER

FOUND ME TOO INTERESTING.

>> OH...I WOULD HAVE NURTURED

THAT INTERESTINGNESS.

>> Frankenstein: FOR A MOMENT, I

CONSIDERED BEING MORE BORING --

NOT EXPERIMENTING ON LIVE

ANIMALS AND NEVER INVENTING LIPS

FOR YOUR EARLOBES OR ANYTHING

LIKE THAT, BUT I JUST COULDN'T

HELP IT!

>> I WISH I HAD A SON JUST LIKE

YOU.

>> Frankenstein: YOU...

ARE INTERESTED IN MY WORK?

>> [ Giggling ] OOH! VERY!

>> Frankenstein: WELL...THANK

YOU, MR...?

>> CALL ME "DAD."

>> Frankenstein: THANK YOU.

DAD?

>> TICKLE, TICKLE.

>> Frankenstein: [ Laughing ]

NO! NO!

>> AW. LOOK AT YOU!

>> Frankenstein: [ LAUGHING ]

>> TICKLE?

>> Frankenstein: OH! THANK YOU!

I NEEDED THIS.

[ SIGHS ]

[ WOLF HOWLS ]

[ THUNDER AND LIGHTNING CRASH ]

>> OH, ELIZABETH!

HEY, YOU WANT TO HAVE A

THREESOME WITH US, HUH?

LET'S MAKE LEMONS OUT OF THIS

LEMONADE.

HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.

>> SCRAM.

>> [ HISSES ]

OKAY.

[ High-pitched ] CATCH YA LATER!

YOU DONUT.

>> [ Laughing ] HEY, HEY, BRA!

WAZZUP?

>> Polidori: AH!

THE WET BLANKET.

>> HEY, SO, WHO WAS THAT WEIRD

BAT GUY?

>> Polidori: THE WORLD'S MOST

NEGLIGIBLE BACHELOR,

"DRAC-YOU-UH-LA."

>> OH.

I WANT TO BE DRACULA!

THEN MY DAD WOULD TOTALLY FIND

ME INTERESTING.

>> Polidori: LOOK, IF YOU'RE

GOING TO WINDOW SHOP FOR A NEW

PERSONALITY, HAVE A SEAT.

THIS PLACE IS SIMPLY CRAWLING

WITH OPTIONS.

>> COOL!

I'LL MULL IT OVER A LONG ISLAND

ICED TEA.

>> Polidori: AND I'LL HAVE

THE USUAL.

>> WHAT'S YOUR POISON,

BRAHEIMERSON?

>> Polidori: FUNNY YOU SHOULD

ASK.

[ GULPS ] MMM. DELICIOUS.

BEING AN IMMORTAL, IT'S THE ONLY

THING WITH ANY KIND OF KICK TO

IT.

>> [ Laughing ] HARDCORE!

AW, I WISH I HAD AN INTERESTING

THING, LIKE BEING IMMORTAL AND

DRINKING POISON OR SOMETHING.

[ GRUNTS ]

>> PARDON ME.

>> NO WORRIES.

I'M BLANKET JACKSON.

>> DR. HENRY JEKYLL.

>> CAN I BUY YOU A ROUND?

>> NO NEED. I'VE BROUGHT MY OWN.

[ GASPING ]

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ WOMAN SCREAMS ]

>> WHOA! GNARLY!

HEY! HOW DO I BECOME A

DR. JEKYLL?

>> Polidori: BY COMING OUT OF

HIS MOTHER'S VAGINA AND FOUR

YEARS OF MED SCHOOL.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

BUT HE JUST DRANK SOMETHING AND

TURNED INTO A FREAK-OUT KING.

CAN YOU WHIP UP SOME OF THAT FOR

ME?

>> Polidori: WELL, IT'S

PAINFULLY PEDESTRIAN, BUT IF IT

WILL KEEP YOU OUT OF OUR HAIR...

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! COME ON!

LET'S GO! MY DAD'LL LOVE IT!

>> Frankenstein: MY DADDY NEVER

WANTED TO PLAY "DRESS UP" WITH

ME!

>> [ GIGGLES ] DRESS UP IS FUN!

>> [ GROANS ]

WHY MUST I BE DRAGGED THROUGH

THIS HUMILIATION?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> NO WHAT?

>> Frankenstein: HOW ABOUT HIS

HEAD ON A LITTLE BOY'S BODY?

>> [ GIGGLES ]

>> WELL, HELLO!

OH, DADDY, I'M-A MADE OF FISH

TODAY!

>> Frankenstein: I TOOK THE

LIBERTY OF KIDNAPPING MY SON

FROM THE PAST WHEN HE WAS 6.

NOW, HOLD STILL.

>> I'M A-HOLIN' RE-E-E-E-AL...

[ SPEAKING GIBBERSH ]

STILL...

[ WHIP! ]

[ SPEAKING GIBBERISH ]

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

>> DAD!

>> OH, NO! THAT!

>> Frankenstein: BLANKET, GO

AWAY!

>> BUT, DAD, I FIGURED OUT HOW

YOU CAN LOVE ME, BRA.

>> OH! MAKE IT STOP!

>> Frankenstein: QUIT TALKING!

YOU'RE UPSETTING DAD!

>> Polidori: WHAT'S BEEN GOING

ON IN HERE?

>> YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

>> Frankenstein: LOOK, HE

DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND NEVER WILL.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE UNINTERESTING,

NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE!

>> POPS, BRA!

OOH! WHOA! MY BAD! WHOA!

>> Frankenstein: NO! DADDY!

>> WHAT'S THIS?

>> DAD, WE'RE TOGETHER!

>> FOR ETERNITY?

>> THIS IS AWESOME!

>> THIS IS AWFUL!

>> I-I LOVE Y--

OW!

>> I HATE YOU.

>> WAIT! STOP HITTING!

OW!

>> GET AWAY FROM ME!

>> I LOVE US!

OW!

>> I HATE US!

>> WHOA!

[ BOTH GRUNT ]

>> OW! THAT HURT!

>> IN AN INTERESTING WAY!

>> YEAH, INTERESTING!

>> SHUT UP!

>> OH...

>> Both: UH-OH!

WHEEEEEEEEE!

>> [ SLURPS ]

>> Polidori: WELL, AT LEAST WE

GOT A NEW RUG OUT OF THIS.

>> Frankenstein: YES, I'M GLAD

YOU'RE HAPPY!

>> Polidori: WHERE ARE YOU

GOING?

>> Frankenstein: TO DO SOMETHING

I SHOULD HAVE DONE LONG AGO.

>> VICTOR, MY SON, I HAVE ONE

LAST REQUEST.

>> Frankenstein: YES, FATHER?

>> NEVER BRING ME BACK TO LIFE!

>> Frankenstein: DON'T WORRY!

I WON'T!

>> OH!

>> Frankenstein: HA HA!

>> * WASN'T NEAR YOU

* COULDN'T HEAR YOU

* WHERE YOU GO TO

* I DON'T HAVE A CLUE

* SO YOU EAT SLOW

* THAT MUCH, YOU DO KNOW

* HEARD YOU TOOK A TRIP ACROSS

MEXICO *

* OH, YOU DROVE ON

* YEAH, ON AND ON

* COME ON, SPLIT YOURSELF IN

TWO *

* YOU GOT TO SPLIT YOURSELF IN

TWO *

* COME ON, SPLIT YOURSELF IN

TWO *

* TAKE ME FOR A RIDE

* TAKE ME FOR A RIDE