Original subtitles

Hey there.

I'd introduce myself, but it doesn't really matter.

What does is that there's this problem

I've been trying to solve for the longest time,

and inspiration has finally struck.

Uh, I mean, I could be going crazy.

I've definitely been accused of that before.

But this artifact, I think, is telling me

you're the one who can help me.

[exhale echoes]

But trust me, I get it.

Why the hell would you help me?

Well, for starters, and speaking from experience,

I don't think anyone deserves to be thrown in a dark hole

and forgotten about.

[chains rattle]Last, but not least,

I'll get you out of here if you do.

Hmm?

♪

[cheering, applause]SPRINGTHORPE: Bravo!

Next up, Father Capulet,

as portrayed by Wade Rivers.

[soft applause]

And don't forget my scene partner,

the Tribrid, as Tybalt.

If we can find her.

[door opens][others gasp]

A dramatic entrance, indeed.

Looks like I'm not late enough.

Come now, you don't wish to let

your scene partner down,

do you, Ms. Mikaelson?You know,

life is really just a series of disappointments,

so that's a better lesson

than Shakespeare.I understand you're going

through a rough patch.Well, I feel like if you understood that,

you'd probably get why I don't really

want to dramatize the story of undying teenage love.

[wind rushing]You know, especially when it

does end with dying,

and then not dying,

and then him ditching you anyway

when he promised nothing would ever come between you two.

[debris clattering][others clamoring]

And scene.

DORIAN: You two have gotten close,

at least from what I've seen around school.

We have History together--

uh, capital-H History-- and Gym,

but we're not friends or anything like that.[door opens]

Hey, Dr. Saltzman. I'm sorry I can't help,

Mr. Williams, but if I see MG, I'll definitely let you know.

Yeah.

I had MG compel Ethan to steer clear of him weeks ago.

Those two should not be hanging out.

Yeah, Ethan said they're not, so I doubt that's the reason

MG has skipped school the last three days.

You get that locator spell done?

Great.

Let's see.

I don't like that look.

[sighs] Old habits die hard,

so I keep up with any reports of animal attacks in the area.

That's a good way to keep a lookout for Malivore monsters.

Except...

a hiker was found dead in Grove Hill last night.

Suspiciously close

to right where MG is now.

Wait, do you think something happened to him?

I'm more worried about what he's already done.

I'll get my bag.

♪ I'm coming with the rats and the roaches ♪

♪ Never turn my back...

I don't need a pep talk

or ice cream or twin cuddles.

Well, you controlled yourself better

than on your school tour with Lizzie.

So points for that.

Maybe I'm a little upset about how things ended with Landon.

But it's no one's problem but mine.

[grunts fiercely]

Great. Seems totally under control.

In which case,

maybe you can help me with something?

Does it involve punching things?

Possibly. Lizzie went

on this witch-y wellness retreat that Dad thought

would be a good idea,

but I haven't heard from her

in over a week.

I think that she might be in trouble.

♪

[excited chatter]

[Finch grunting]

[others whistling]

Oh...Nice shot, nice shot.

♪

[others oohing]

Whoo! All right, that's game.

Hit the showers.

I don't know what's more shocking--

that you hit that shot or that you guys shower.

[chuckles] Well, you're definitely new around here.

'Cause everyone knows I ball hard.

Yeah, I'm not touching that one.

Uh, you dropped something.

BRUTUS: Newest member of the pack

always cleans up.

Everyone knows that.

Apparently not.

Hey, it's nothing personal, okay?

Brutus did it for, like, a year.

That's just the way we do things in a pack.Maybe that should change.

BRUTUS:Werewolf lesson number two--

never question the alpha's rules.

Ever.

If the alpha makes the rules,

how do you become the alpha?JED: Well, that's easy.

And hard.

You want to be the man, you gotta beat the man.

Come on.

FINCH: No.

You gotta beat the woman.

[gasps] Alpha challenge.

Alpha challenge! Whoo!

HOPE: So much for the element of surprise.

We're too exposed out here.

We should head into the woods, see if we can find the camp,

and try to lay eyes on Lizzie.

Or... we could just introduce ourselves.

And what if we walk into a trap?

You're acting really weird

for someone who's supposed to be worried

about her missing sister.

Lizzie!

Namaste.

I'm so glad you guys are here.

You made really good time.

You knew we were coming?

Jo and I have been talking

about it since I got here.

But I still can't believe

that you were so open to it.

Mm.

Me, neither.

LIZZIE: Come.

I'll show you around.

Peace of mind awaits.

HOPE: Like I said...

trap.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

♪

[laughter continues]

This looks... great.

It looks like Witchapalooza.

LIZZIE: Which is great,

because you could use some healing.

Jo told me

all about Andon-Lay.

Did she?

Every gory detail. Him dumping you

like that?

Total dick move.

[zapping]

[zapping stops]

We don't worry about dicks here.

No boys allowed.

So you'll forget about birdbrain in no time.

I bet. Everyone here looks like they're on drugs.

LIZZIE: It's not like that, Hope.

This is a wellness retreat,

for witches, by witches.

Well...

one witch in particular:

Andi.

She's so amazing.

She's been a real mentor to me.

How exactly

did she help you?

Andi reframed my former,

limiting mindset to reflect my emotional goals.

Okay, I'll say it. This feels a little cult-y.

We're just a collection

of like-minded individuals, all following the teachings

of a brilliant and charismatic leader.

Mm-hmm.

Right, make that a lot cult-y.

What's with all the crystals?

Each color represents a step on the pathway to enlightenment.

So the blue one you're wearing...

It's the top step.

Which means that I get to take part in next week's

sacred purification ritual.

What lands you on sacred dirt duty?

Oh.

Don't mind Samantha.

She was Andi's star pupil,

until I got here.

And then her petty jealousy and anger

knocked her down a peg--

well, several--

into the red.

That's why it's so important

to stay focused on your own path.

[bell clangs]

Afternoon enrichment.

All colors on the crystal path are welcome.

[gasping, excited chatter]

Come on. You guys have to meet Andi.

I told you I didn't want any help.

In my defense,

I didn't know that this was what help looked like.

We don't have to stay.

HOPE: We do.

Because something weird's going on here.

And we're not leaving unless Lizzie comes with us.

Hopefully willingly.

JED: I don't fight with girls.

Except when you're knocking them down in a pickup game

or sparring with them.

No, like, a real fight--

to the death, if that's what it takes.

And I don't plan on starting now.

Hey, glad we can both agree on not dying.

So, what if I challenge you

to something else?

That's not in the rules.

FINCH:But what is in the rules

is that the alpha

can't turn down any challenge,

no matter what it entails.

Okay.

What do you have in mind?

I saw an old pool table in storage

when I was picking out some stuff for my room.

Deal.

Good luck. You're gonna need it.

[others chuckling]

ANDI: I want to welcome all our new faces.

I know you're here because you're struggling.

Believe me...

I have, too.

I've lived in darkness for so many years,

which is why I have dedicated myself

to helping other witches

reach the light.

Lizzie,

would you help me demonstrate how we do that?

It would be my honor.

Think of this crystal, and the ones linked to it

that we all wear, like...

a mood ring.

We ask all new arrivals

to lay their hands on it,

to discover where they'll be beginning their journey.

My ancestors' coven

believed that we were ruled by our emotions,

and that if we could learn to take control

of our emotional state,

that we could take back control of our lives.

Live them to the fullest.

[applause]

That's wonderful,Lizzie.

Though I expected nothing less from you.

The beautiful blue color that Lizzie has just shown us

represents complete purity of thought.

The elimination

of all negative feelings

preventing us from living free,

happy and fulfilled lives.

This is the ideal

you should all strive to attain.

This is...

enlightenment.

Now, could I have

a less accomplished volunteer?

Someone who needs help

controlling negative emotions.

[gasping and murmuring]

It's Hope, right?

[chuckles]: Oh, I didn't raise my hand.

So you don't harbor

any negative emotions?

I just don't need your help controlling them.

When we aren't in control,

it's difficult to trust those who are.

Oh, no, I don't trust you because you're a fraud.

[gasping][crystals zapping]

Then, please.

Come up and prove it.

I'm so sorry.

Bringing you here was a bad idea

and so is you going up there. Okay.

I'll touch your rock.

But I think it's crystal clear what kind of mood I'm in.

[others gasping]

You have extraordinary power.

I'm not sure I'm capable, but let me try to help.

I didn't say you could touch me.

But I'm so glad you did.

Suddenly,

I feel better.

This is a power my coven has spent generations mastering.

Empathic transference.

It's why I must always wear gloves.

Skin-to-skin contact with an empath

can feel overwhelming for the uninitiated.

I was so angry at my ex-boyfriend, but...

I don't know, I-I just feel like I'm, um...

Enlightened.

[both chuckle]

You're free now.

There's no point in hiding your emotional truth

when everyone can see it for themselves.

[gasping and murmuring]

[applause]

[crystal zapping]

I've been waiting for someone like you, Hope.

You and I are gonna do great things together.

[forced laugh]

[birds chirping]

Hi, Andi.

Sorry to bother you during personal meditation time.

Can I come in?

Oh, I could use the, uh,

the fresh air.

Where's your crystal?

Actually, that's why I'm here.

I had a bit of a setback.

Oh. How-how big is a bit?

Oh. Huge, then.

I got a little jealous when I saw you working with Hope.

Uh, saying all those things about how great she is...

i-it's triggering for me,

because I've heard those things, like, a million times before.

But I know that that is silly

because you chose me to help you

lead the purification ritual next week.

So, uh,

if you could just juice me back up.

Oh. I'm afraid I need to conserve my energy.

Given recent events, I've moved the ceremony up.

And by, uh, recent events, you mean...

Hope is very, very special, like you said.

She's so powerful, we don't need to recruit

any more witches, so...

the ritual will happen

later this evening.

Oh, wh-what am I supposed to do?

You know the path that those in the red must take.

I wish you well on it.

[door closes]

Son of a bitch.

DORIAN: That hiker was found in these woods,

mauled to death and drained of blood.

And now a member of the search party

who was out looking for him is missing, too.

This is a Malivore monster, Dorian.

Since they showed up,

nearly all the blood in Mystic Falls

has been on their hands.

Claws. Whatever.

That's the thing. We're not in Mystic Falls.

We're in Grove Hill. And so is MG.

Look, MG is a good kid, and you know it.

I do. I do.

But good doesn't factor into the equation

when we're talking about Rippers.I get it.

You don't want what happened to your family

to happen to anyone else.

We don't know anything yet.

Okay?

So let's just find MG.

MG: Dr. Saltzman...

ALARIC: MG.

I need your help. There's a body...

Dorian, no!

[groans]

Found him.

[quiet chatter]

You're doing it wrong.

I'm sorry I'm not an expert at scrubbing skivvies like you.

You will be.

'Cause I'll be back to blue before you,

with that attitude.

Face facts.

We're both cherry red, Samantha,

which sucks hard enough,

so let's just call a truce.

Fine.

Oh, my God. Andi's glove.

This isn't supposed to be in the wash.

Give it to me. I'll go take it back to her.

No. I don't think so.

Andi's gonna be so happy when I return this,

she'll help me back to...

What the hell?

How is that even possible?

Let me see it.There's so many things

I wanted to say to you,

just a minute ago, but...

[sighs] now I feel above them all.

Good luck on your journey.

Go blue yourself.

ALARIC: I could use some help in here.

[grunts]

[Alaric groans]

No, no. Not that kind.

I'm not tying him up. I'm taking him home.

Good. We can put him in the werewolf bunker, then.

We don't even know what happened yet,

because you tranqued him before we could ask.Actually, we do.

I just found the body of that missing

search party member in the woods.

Just like MG said.

You still think I should've waited

for him to rip your throat out, too?

You used to hunt vampires, Ric.

I thought you knew how dangerous Rippers can be.

I guess you've changed.

I'm trying to.

Assuming the worst of people

has only ever brought out the worst in me.

And I am not gonna condemn MG until I hear his side of it.

In the meantime, I got a body to bury.

Hopefully there won't be another when I get back.

JED: Oh, this is gonna be a bloodbath.

Like, bloodier than an actual fight to the death.

[laughter]

If she even shows.

♪ Whoo, whoo

♪ I can't help it

♪ Hey

♪ I can't help it

♪ Hey

♪ Yeah, I can't help it...

I wouldn't miss this.

Also, I'm a werewolf, too,

and I could hear you talking crap down the hall.Well, good.

Then you know I'm undefeated at the Salvatore School.

♪ I can't help it

This is your last chance to back out.

Cool. Can I get the chalk?

♪ If I was tequila...

You're my alpha,

so I feel like I got to tell you this...

all the wolves used to let you win.

♪ You ain't never gonna want nobody else... ♪

Wait, what? Why?

Like I said,

you're the alpha.

♪ Feeling myself

♪ Hey...

Break for break?

[chuckles] Uh...

Ladies first.

♪ I can't help it

Rack 'em.

♪ Whoo...

You heard her, rack 'em.

♪ I-I-I can't help it

♪ I-I-I can't help it ♪

♪ Hey

♪ I can't help it

♪ Whoo

♪ Yeah, I can't help it

♪ I can't help it

♪ I can't help it

♪ I, I, I, I, I

♪ I can't help it.

[laughter and murmuring]

STUDENT 1: You see that?STUDENT 2: Whoa, what?

[chuckles] Yeah.

[shower running]

♪

You're finally gonna be free.

And you deserve it.

[door closes]

[groans]

I hate that it's actually cute in here.

"Warning. Avoid dermal contact.

Produces psychotropic effects."

Triad.

That's never good.

ANDI: Who's there?

[glass shatters][shower stops]

[door creaks]

♪

Maybe Ric was right.

Not about everything, but...

I do feel connected to you.

Colin Lafferty.

I've lost people I loved the way your family lost you.

I'm sorry they won't get the closure they deserve,

but maybe...

maybe "missing" is better than knowing the truth.

But I'll check in on your family.

And on the vampire that killed you...

...so that this never happens again.

[snarling]

[shrieking in distance]

[snarling continues]

[branches rustling]

[booming thud]

[growling]

[growls]

Oh, damn.

[cracking]

[roars]

[birds chirping]

Psst. Psst.

Hey.JOSIE: Lizzie.

Where have you been?

It's a long story.

The haiku version: Hope was right, again.

It's definitely a cult.

Now let's get the hell out.

Mm. I've been feeling so much better since we got here.

So was I, okay? But did you miss

the part where I admitted you were right?

Andi doesn't have special powers.

She's a basic witch, a fraud.

Her crystal is blue all the time because it's colored glass.

And that enlightenmentyou feel

is some magic drug from Triad.

Eh, that's never good.Right?

I don't know what her connection is to them,

and frankly, I don't care.

Okay? We can figure that out once we're gone.

If you trust me.

Of course we do. Let's go.

[clanging]

Oh, great. Now what's she up to?

Put your back into it, Samantha.

[loud clang reverberates]

Hope? Jo? Are you okay?

BOTH: We've never been better.

Oh, okay. In that case,

I'm gonna drive back to school

and get some help and earplugs.

Ad somnum.

[body thuds]No. Stay with us.

You lying, traitorous phony.

I could say the same to you.

Sneaking in here and breaking my things.

At least you can't mind-control me.

Not currently.

I must admit,

I've been wondering why that is.

Because one drop of this on my gloves

is normally enough

to make every witch here worship me.

Well, the gloves are off now, bitch.

Maybe...

it's your brain chemistry

or just your overwhelmingly bad vibes.

You should have seen

what Triad did to witches that stuff didn't work on.

Very un-feminist.

Well, it wasn't bad enough to make you stop working for them.

No supernatural

ever worked for Triad.

We were imprisoned,

locked in cells and forced to do their bidding.

[chains rattle]

Locator spells,

concealment spells, even torture,

all the while being drugged

to stay compliant.

Well, maybe your sob story would land a little better

if you weren't doing the same thing

to every witch here.

Said the self-indulgent daddy's girl who's never had

a real problem in her life.

I've overcome a lot.

You're clearly not an empath, so what's the ritual really for?

[knocking]Sorry, that information is

for blue crystal witches only.

Speaking of...

You wanted to see me, Andi?

ANDI: Your sister wants to join

tonight's event.

It's technically against the rules,

but why don't you bring her down for the grand finale.

After all,

the ritual requires a human sacrifice.

BRUTUS: You're getting murdered.

Yeah. I noticed.

I mean, have you even taken a shot?Just one.

I missed.

Oh!

Et tu Brutus?

Hey, I'm still your alpha.

Not for long, bruh.

[clapping, whistling, cheering]

Eight ball, corner pocket.

Sink it, and I'm the leader of the pack, right?

[sighs]

Those are the rules.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

LIZZIE: I think I know a way out of this mess.

Maybe Andi was right for once,

and my negative emotions are what kept her

from being able to mind-control me.

So if I can do the same thing to you...

...worth a shot.

Although you probably like being mind-controlled--

because that was basically our dynamic for years.

I don't know what you mean.

That's right,

you're independent all of a sudden,

going to Mystic Falls High all by yourself...

Oh, wait, you're already back

at the Salvatore School.

I guess that phase lasted about as long

as your Dark Josie bender.

[crystal zapping]

And now you're here,

worried about me and Hope, and completely neglecting

your own happiness with Finch

in the process.

I mean, at least I'm trying

to be happy...Are you seriously

pinning this on me right now?!

You're the one that indoctrinated us

into a freaking cult, and I'm...

Back to normal.

[sighs] You are brilliant and I love you.

I know. Where's Hope?

She's at the ritual.

But there's no way that you can get

close enough to Andi to pull that stunt.

Sure I can.

You just need to tie me up again.

[groaning]

ALARIC [whispers]: Dorian.

I'm here.

Dorian.

I heard that growl,

followed a trail of blood...

Yours, obviously.

Oh, man, is that a tooth? I wonder who has

whatever this belongs to in the monster pool.

You're not gonna believe it, Ric.

Wendigo.

Come on.

It's never a wendigo.

Until today. I got a few licks in

with the shovel before I ran, but...

that thing hits a lot harder.

I'd be dead if I hadn't found this place.

ALARIC: A cave...

stocked with a cooler full of blood bags?

This is where MG's been hiding out.

I was wrong about him.

I read his journal.

He's been helping people.

He needs to work on his superhero name, but...

MG must've got the blood on him from trying to stop the wendigo.

Come on, let's get you out of here

before it comes back for seconds.

Yeah. [groans]

[growling]Too late.

JOSIE: I don't think I can do this.

I thought you loved drama class.

Just act like a brainwashed idiot and get me on that stage.

[chanting in foreign language]

LIZZIE: Hope's feeling good now, but I have a decade

of petty resentments to spew

that'll change all of that in a heartbeat.

[chanting continues]

[chanting continues]

[clears throat]

Hope Andrea Mikaelson.

[thumps][grunts]

Jo, was there something you wanted to say?

Well, aren't you gonna say anything?

Yes. I am.

Hmm.[Josie clears throat]

That crystal doesn't work on you,

and blue isn't your color.

I appreciate the feedback.

I don't.

Hope, throw them both in the hole

so we can get this party started.

JOSIE:Wait.

I hate that I have to do this--

because all I've ever wanted for you

is happiness-- but...

this isn't happiness.

And not just because Andi's a fraud,

even though she is,

but because you're lying to yourself.

You're mad at Landon, and you're blaming him for the breakup.

But it's not all Landon's fault.

And deep down, you know that.

Stop saying his name.You've known

that you and Landon have been

biologically incompatible since he literally dissolved

after having sex with you.

But you chose to deny that fact,

and now you know

that neither you or Landon

can ever truly be happy together.

HOPE: What I know is that I moved heaven and earth

to bring him back to me,

and he didn't even tell me when he was still alive.

And then he left me all over again.

Landon finally did

the one thing that you weren't strong enough to do.

Hope... is that you?

ANDI: That's the last of them, Hope.

Hurry up.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

This is the part where you attack me

and deeply regret it later.

[low growling]

How do we kill this damn thing?

How the hell am I supposed to know?

It's never a wendigo.

[growls]

I doubt that's gonna do it.

[shrieks]

Never doubted you, rock.

[wendigo roars]

Thanks for distracting him for me.

Wendigos have hearts of ice.

It's their weakness,

like sunlight for a vampire.

Unless you use that weakness

and make it your strength.

I had wendigo in the monster pool.

[chuckles]

JOSIE: Lizzie, wake up. You're gonna be okay.

[gasps]

Cool.

My plan worked.

There's only one last thing to take care of.

[speaks word in foreign language]

Well? Aren't you gonna say anything?

Don't maim her yet.

Not until she tells us what this phony-ass retreat

was for.

I needed a lot of witches with a lot of power

who wouldn't ask any questions.

I knew how the drug worked firsthand,

and I thought it would be easier to catch flies

with honey than vinegar.

What is the ritual for?

All I know is it was a summoning ritual--

for what wasn't my concern. I would've

raised the devil himself for my freedom.

So you cut a deal. With who?

It wasn't that long ago,

but it's just gone.

I can't remember who it was.

And I'm sure that has nothing to do

with the Malivore Pit.

What I do remember is that our deal

was bound by an unbreakable covenant spell,

which means I will die

if I fail to complete the ritual.

You're gonna fail.

Then the peace I will know

is that the three of you will have to deal with

whatever my death raises.

I'm guessing she counts as the human sacrifice

the ritual needs?

As much as I hate Andi, that was a total boss move.

What's gonna happen now?

Well, when you combine Triad,

hole in the ground and forgotten memories...

[sighs]

So much for peace of mind.

So... should we tell ghost stories by the fire

while we wait for whatever horrible thing's

gonna come crawling out of there?

I know a scary one.

"The Tale of the Crappy Friend Who Told You

You Deserved to Be Dumped."

I'm sorry about that.

It's okay.

I needed to hear it.

Just like you need to hear that it's okay

to let yourself be happy.

Even if you're the only one of us who is.

[chuckles softly]

Well, at least coming here wasn't all bad?

Mm.

Well, I'm guessing it will be

once whatever Andi drugged us with kicks in.

[both chuckling]

LIZZIE: Hey, guys. I think

I figured out what Andi was trying to do.

She's turning us into pandas.

Then she nailed it.

[laughing]

♪ 'Cause I got love

♪ I-I-I-I've got love...

Whoa.Ah.

What did I just drink?

That's 150 proof moonshine, my guy.

Wolves gonna wolf.

And this is the wolf of the hour right here!

[all howling]

♪ I got my heart that's just beating around the clock ♪

♪ 'Cause I got love, I got love, I got love ♪

♪ And I got my family

♪ As ... up as they are

♪ 'Cause I got love, I got love... ♪

You need a drink?

Not my thing.

Which I guess means I have rules, too.

Hey, about that...

Maybe it's not fair to the pack

to just say whoever's the best at fighting or whatever

is the best leader for them.

Just like

you scratching the eight ball doesn't make me

better than you at pool.

Especially when you did it on purpose.

Why?

You're right-- being good at those things

isn't why you should be the alpha.

But seeing how much it means to you,

how much you care about the pack...

is another story.

Oh, you know, back in the day, I would've called you weak

for throwing the game.

Well, then if you can change, maybe the rules can, too.

[chuckles softly]

Yeah.

♪

[indistinct P.A. announcement]

He's gonna be fine.

Just a few stitches and, uh,

one whopper of a lie to his doctor later.

[chuckles]

Oh, man.

Emma's gonna be so pissed at me.

But not as pissed as she would have been

had you not saved our asses.

Um...

it was the least I could do.

Considering how Mr. Williams got hurt looking for me.

Well, we shouldn't have worried about you.

Your journal made that clear.

I'm-I'm trying.

But it's really hard

doing this all on my own.

Well, you could always come back to school.

I mean,

especially now that the...

wendigo trashed your Batcave.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Before you, um, you let me come back

and it's all good,

I think there's something that you should know.

I didn't compel Ethan when you told me to.

It-it was a mistake.

But I learned from it.

So, yeah, I want to come back.

But I don't want to stop helping people, either.

Well...

let's do both.

Come on.

Let's go home.

["Because I Got High" by Afroman playing]

LIZZIE: Okay, hear me out.

[echoing]: Andi drugged us.

Just one drop of that liquid that she had from Triad

was enough to control everyone's minds,

and now I'm soaked in it.

Maybe that's why I'm losing it.

[echoing]: Lizzie, we're all pandas.

We're in this together.

We are in complete pandagreement.Okay, so

we're all seeing the same thing now?

♪ Until I got high...

Oh, good.

♪ I was gonna get up and find the broom... ♪

Unless that's bad.

Guys, we have to pull it together, okay?

We need to be ready to fight.[Josie laughing]

We are tripping balls, man!

I mean, we have enough problems already.

Don't we always?

When has that ever stopped us

from fighting monsters?

Yeah, you're right. I came here

because I thought I was messed-up,

but look at me.

Look at my fur.

I am a badass panda.

Me, too.

That's it. We set up a trap.

It's one of us

on each side of the hole, and-and we blast it

with whatever spell that we've got.

We have to focus,

'cause I'm sure that

when whatever Andi summoned

comes out of the thing, it's gonna be...

[snorts]

[whispers]: Pandemonium.

[all laugh]

♪ And I know why, yeah, hey

♪ Because I got high, because I got high... ♪

Panda Squad on three.

One, two...

[all grunt]

[laughs] That was fun.

Still high as a kite, but at least we're not pandas anymore.

Oh, unfortunately, that's where our good news ends.

♪